Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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If you’ve ever looked at someone and thought, “Why don’t I have what they have?” or “Why didn’t I come up with that idea?” and proceeded to melt into a puddle of jealousy, envy and self-doubt

Please keep reading.

Envy isn’t the enemy, it’s a valuable clue to who you want to be and how to get there. Click To Tweet

Most people will tell you that feeling jealous or envious is a waste of time. But once you’ve been bitten by the green monster, being told you ‘shouldn’t feel that way’ is of little use.

Here’s what to do instead. Use this simple method to take that awful feeling and turn it into a positive and activating force.

In today’s MarieTV you’ll learn three steps to make envy your secret superpower.

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

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What’s one thing you envy and what’s really underneath that feeling? Most important — what are you going to about it?

Remember, share as much detail as possible in your reply. Thousands of incredible souls come here each week for insight and inspiration, and your story may help someone else have a meaningful breakthrough.

Important: share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be removed.

Thank you for watching and sharing your voice. If you have friends, colleagues or clients who could use these ideas, please share this post.

As long as you’re still breathing, there’s a chance you can catch a mild case of envies. Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t feel guilt, shame or embarrassment. Instead, use it as an opportunity to become more of who you’re meant to be.

With so much love ❤️,

XO

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205 comments

  1. Big YES to that! I know I’ve been envious of other successful women, even you Marie! But I think it’s an arrow telling me where to go. So thank you for this episode, really appreciate it.

    B-Schooler 2015
    Love from Kuwait,
    Hadeel

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Hi Hadeel! What a beautiful way to think about that arrow-pointing you in a direction that you may not have known otherwise. Trust that intuition- it will never steer you wrong. Sending love right back to you. xo

  2. Sonia

    Love the comment about us all needing examples of what we could do, be or aspire to. I have purchased a number of courses over the years to help me in my business, but only really learned from those where the person delivering it is someone I can aspire to – I guess it’s a healthy envy! Marie you are definitely in that category

    • Have you found any good role models/mentors? I know I’m constantly on the lookout for those good stories.

  3. Ann

    I don’t know if you would call it envious – but again maybe, it bothers me when I see someone who seems to capture the attention of so many people, yet they are manipulative, deceitful, dishonest, slanderous and full of trickery. Yet, they come out smelling like roses. Yet, I am honest – and if I was spoken against by that person – I will be shunned while the deceitful person is looked upon with glory. That if any – is what bothers me – I think, I resent their having a captive audience despite their treacherous ways.

    • Maria

      Ann, you can only see what you are… life/the Universe keeps mirroring back to you what you are/see/do/feel, you are trapped in that shit… don’t waste you time girl, get yourself out of there, you deserve and are capable of better.

      • Maria

        BTW, I learnt it from Dr John Demartini – it was such a mind shift!

      • Tmc

        Whoo, that’s a good way to reply. Put my own name in there and read it aloud to self :-/
        I think the first point in the video of “celebrate not hate” is spot on 🙂 (tho can be a bit hard when congratulating someone who has wounded you very badly and is oblivious to it nevermind not ever apologised for it) 😪 however, I think that reminding yourself to have a grateful heart for the things you do have is a positive step forward in combating feelings of envy; for there will always be people who have less than you and always be people who have more. Then, next step (which is also in video) is to step up to the plate and turn your attention to the things that are on your heart that you want to achieve and set out to start to take action on them, even if its just one step at a time. Ultimately, I’m not in control of what other people do or say but I do believe that people do eventually reap what they sow, good, bad or indifferent, so I need to be intentional with my goals and dreams as I’m the only one responsible for them 🤔 (hope at least some of that makes sense somewhat!)

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Hi Ann. This can most certainly be a frustrating thing to witness in the world. Use it as fuel for the way you choose to operate and share in the world. Staying in the honest lane is the right thing to do in the short, and long, term. xo

    • donna

      But is that the audience that you want? Put your voice out there. Share something small everyday and your audience will find you! Don’t worry about the deceitful person…trust me they are not worried about you. Your business, Your rules! Make honesty and integrity a pillar of your business. And think long and hard before you throw shade on anyone, it always comes back to you…good luck!

  4. Kathryn

    Hi Marie

    I’m feeling envious of bloggers – people who are managing to make a living out of sharing their thoughts and views. Who have loads of people look forward to hearing their latest thinking and are making a nice life out of being themselves! Not having to ghostwrite about issues they’re not that into on behalf of other people because that’s what’s paying the bills. Guess that means I need to just start blogging – I’m scared I’ll waste loads of time, only get three followers and not be able to make a proper living from it. But you made me realise the people I’m envious of have gone out there and just done it!

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Well, Kathryn, you can turn that beat around and find a way to use that envy as fuel for yourself and you dreams. Celebrate their success while thinking about what actions you can take to create your dreams. If blogging isn’t the dream, then think deeper than that. You hold the answers within, listen to them.

  5. Marie – You and your team are SOOO funny! Loved this!!!
    The one thing that I envy right now is people that do not have to go to a 9-5 job and are able to work on creative and informative projects during the day, like designing jewelry or making clothing or even studying and going back to school. Also I am jealous of these lifestyles because I need to keep my job during the day to pay my bills. BUT, I realize all of that means I need to turn this ship around and be grateful for my job and being able to pay my bills. AND I need to do the work, and get my butt out of bed early, and put in the time to spur up my creative and learning life. Yep — do the work!

    • Hi Radell…
      I don’t know if it can help you, but I want to tell you my story.
      Six years ago I was “obliged” to go to work everyday and I was so much desiring to be a full time yoga teacher, I was struggling with that. But you know where you put you intention and energy life goes and I found myself teaching yoga and working one/two classes per day, I had the time to study and practice all I loved and I enjoyed. But then you know what happens? As soon as you reach your goal you start to desire something more, a more expanded version of yourself, I started to desire to have the flexibility to travel the world and teaching seminars in my country and abroad. This is my new goal, my new me that wants to break her egg. We are in the same ship… we will never stop to desire and we need to know that we have the capacity to reach anything our heart desire…so with this peace in mind and you heart enjoy the journey… put your energy in what you love as much as you can and every day it will get better and better…you are never separate from what you love…
      ❤️
      Love

      Federica

  6. Rikin

    Im envious of songwriter Paul McCartney – he writes songs unveiling nature – as if they already existed. So effortless like dreaming Yesterday, coming up with Hey Jude whilst driving to Julian Lennon’s house. Otherwise On average it takes him 3 hours to write a song – unveil nature. I want to have the feeling of unveiling nature or accessing what is already here. It would take me months and months months to write and finish a song and i torture myself in the process. I just end up binging to numb this inadequacy. I just want to write anything good. (And he is pitch perfect which i don’t possess

  7. I am envious of full-timers that have the freedom to work remotely and whenever they want. Writing, photo, art… But I’ve been stuck thinking it’s not stable enough for me to survive. I needed to hear that I can do it.
    It’s my work anniversary at the day job and they took AWAY vacation and sick time! I’m so tired of this kind of “living”.

    • Lisa, I’m totally with you. I have played around with working remotely but haven’t wanted to lose the stability. The world isn’t keeping up with what the workforce needs, and so it’s creating its own path. I hope you are courageous in taking on new ventures. You got this!

      • Barbara

        Stability…hmmm, is there ever REALLY stability. Your employer can decide they don’t need you at any time. Bye-bye. YOU always need you and will do what it takes to take care of you! If you want to work for yourself, be findin’ a way to make it happen! You’ll be so much happier.

      • Thank you for that! You too

      • Thank you for this. I will try to be courageous. Freedom!!!!

        • Danielle

          hahahha FREEDOM!!! Good luck woman 🙂

  8. Amen! I needed this so bad. When I start to reflect, I want both freedom to be with my kiddo (2 y.o.) and respect in my career. I’m scared to prioritize freedom because I think it’ll sacrifice the respect I’ve barely gained so far. But the reality is, if I stop being JEALOUS of others (good call Marie) then I can have both. I can have the freedom and make my own career.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Danielle, you can have both. Think about the actions that you can take that will make your dream a reality. Sometimes a bit of creativity is necessary but you can do it. xo

      • Danielle

        Thanks Heather! Definitely thinking creatively on this one 🙂

  9. Richie Williams

    Right now I’m at a point in my life where I am in college and still in search of what I’m looking for. I don’t wanna work so hard at something just because I’m good at it. I want to be able to make a difference with what I do. These days I haven’t really had the feeling of happiness. Everything just feels like something I have to do to get through life.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Thanks for sharing your words, Richie. Life is meant to be lived with joy, curiosity, determination- not just “getting through” it. The fact that you’re here and watching MarieTV is a sign that you’re already aware that you want more. That’s an awesome thing!

      What are you curious about? It doesn’t have to be a subject or something in school, but in life. Even while you’re learning school, try different things and be curious. You never know where it will lead and you’ll end up learning more about yourself in the long run.

  10. Hilda

    I’m honestly envious of that gorgeous white lace top you’re wearing in this video. I’m scouring the internet for it 🤩
    Much love to you and your crew! 💋

  11. Sophie

    Oh boy, right now I am envious of women who manage to stay fit and sane after having kids!!! Time management, overwhelm and sleepless nights are getting to me. I find it hard to find time to take care of myself, both emotionally, spiritually and physically. What the magic recipe ??

    • A game changer for me was when I stopped focusing on losing weight and instead focused on slowly building healthy habits by making tiny, healthy changes to what I normally did (vs. dramatic changes.)

  12. Hi Marie.
    This was a great episode. I’ve gone through this in many instances in my life. Feeling the spin of emotions that indicate you’re not happy in some area of your own life. Thank you for taking the time to bring us into awareness.
    The western world needs more teachers who can help us use our minds in useful ways.

    Here are several key steps I’ve found helpful:

    1. Awareness: notice how you feel, what you’re saying, what and how you’re holding in your physicality (posture etc.). Lower consciousness emotions are vibrational holding patterns.

    Meditation:
    When you find yourself in the grip of emotional “spin out”, find time to distance yourself emotional and psychological rub of the situation by taking 3 conscious breaths. Allow your lungs, belly, and lower abdomen to fully expand. Say to yourself, “I am inhaling”. When exhaling, say to yourself, “I am exhaling”. Repeat this 3 times.

    With distance you can see more clearly what is at the root of what you are feeling.

    Action steps to take next:

    2. Decide: A decision to release yourself from constant conflict can shift you out of seeing your circumstances in an unhelpful way.

    3. Ask a better question: What am I really wanting, needing, desiring here? Am I pursuing connection, love, wealth, health or social status?

    Once you are clear you will feel relief from the spin of being stuck in lower vibrational, thought patterns. 🙂

    • So true!! I love your breathing exercise, just beautiful. Anytime I feel jealous I can almost see the fog starting to cloud my eyes and narrowing my vision of the truth. The truth is, we are all expansive, capable, infinite beings!!! And that’s why it feels so bad to think otherwise. And just like you said, jealousy is often a messenger that I’m hanging out in lower vibrations and need to step back (meditate) and rise up! Whenever I’m vibing high, I truly wish success for every single person and I feel so fulfilled.

  13. Paula

    Marie and Team this was THE BEST episode EVER. The question was awesome, thanks to the viewer who was brave enough to ask. The answer was BEYONNNNND perfect. Thank you for all of those perfect insights and actionable steps. (Also what made this episode so great: YOUR OUTFIT. How the heck did you make casual look so damn good? Love that blouse. I’m thinking it’s time for a Marie Forleo clothing line … just sayin’)

    And honestly, what I’m envious of is the Marie Forleo business world. You are a little bit younger than me, I’m also from Jersey and while I have had a good life and career I wanted to be a coach YEARS AGO but at that time was on a different path which I didn’t choose to leave sooner. Those skills will be a great asset moving forward.
    HOWEVER, even though there is the current envy I’m SO SO SO grateful that you have laid the groundwork for all of us. What action I took was to join B-School 2018 (YAY!!) and I’m reading THE SHIFT. I’m working on building my unique brand and style of coaching in my own way. Thanks for blazing the trail, for creating B-School and for always being REAL and authentic. Looking forward to the journey.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Welcome to the B-School family, Paula. One of the things you can take from the envy of Marie and her business is quite honestly, being yourself and sticking with your dream over the long-term. Everything she teaches you in B-School is what she did to build her business and bring her coaching business to life.

      You, and your beautiful heart, are most certainly in the right place. We can’t wait to see you fly high! xo

    • haha, Paula, i’m totally with your talk about the outfit. a Marie Forleo clothing line, yay, that sounds like an amazing great wonderful idea.
      And for me too this episode was the best which I’ve watched for a long time.

  14. I don’t know if this is envy or not. But when I see successful people in my field I get very tearful and sad. I feel “they can have it but I cannot”. It feels like I lose all my energy and find it impossible to come out. It’s not like I want what they want. I just get very shaky and even fearful to even try to get there. So I sink into this feeling of “unable” and I cannot come out of it. I look up to inspirational women like you. I don’t envy your success. I just feel convinced I cannot have that. Do you think this is a form of jelousy?

  15. Laska

    Just when I thought I wasn’t going to relate to this episode and it was exactly what I needed. BOOM Marie! I envy people roght now who can sing. I’ve long talked about wanting to take lessons and sing but I as Marie pointed out, I don’t think this aligns with my priorities right now. That being said, I don’t want to keep putting off the feeling I have to “try”. Now that I’ve emailed a few teachers and read what the work entails I may consider just doing an assessment to see if this is something that I actually want to commit too. And give myself the chance at least. I might be surprised to learn it’s not. I’m just envious of all the musical people around me and I guess want to feel part of the clan in some way.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Laska, this is amazing action and honesty. BRAVA! You’re doing exactly the right steps to follow that envy and curiosity, while assessing if it’s a fit for you and your life. That deserves a BIG Team Forleo high five!

  16. Wow, Marie, this is one of my favorite episodes. To answer your question, I am currently doing a workout program and there is one girl in the video who’s booty I envy. I also have a friend who is doing so well online with her business, I envy her too and she knows it. In fact, she is one of my mentors.
    I love love that you highlight to use this as an indicator that this is an area we can use to improve and that is so true. I find that learning from the person you envy is a great motivator because I can channel that energy to not only improve myself but also expand my network learning to know that person, appreciate them and perhaps gain a new friend.

  17. Wow, Marie, this is one of my favorite episodes. To answer your question, I am currently doing a workout program and there is one girl in the video who’s booty I envy. I also have a friend who is doing so well online with her business, I envy her too and she knows it. In fact, she is one of my mentors.
    I love love that you highlight to use this as an indicator that this is an area we can use to improve and that is so true. I find that learning from the person you envy is a great motivator because I can channel that energy to not only improve myself but also expand my network learning to know that person, appreciate them and perhaps gain a new friend.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Webly! It’s so nice to see you here- sharing your thoughts and heart with everyone. Learning from someone you’re envious of is a GREAT tactic to gain insight into yourself and them at the same time. And most certainly there are people looking up to you and your success, so now you’re an even more beautiful example of how to channel your energy and focus for more success as an individual and business woman. xo

  18. Erica

    I’m envious of people who have the connections to open doors for them, especially when it comes to getting press coverage. I launched my business a few years ago but without the right connections, I feel like my best chance is for some serendipitous thing to happen. I’m an entrepreneur that’s spent a lot of money on my product-based business but there’s not endless cash to hire a PR firm or pay influencers, and I don’t have celebrities in my social circle. Instead, I rely on word of mouth when it comes to customer service and trying to always put my best foot forward with every interaction I have. I often think about the super talented but undiscovered actors spending their days working in diners, while those with the right connections–and often a lot less talent–continue to rise to the top. It’s true in so many industries, if not all. As far as what I’ll do about it, I suppose I’m in it for the long haul so I’ll just try and continue to push forward and keep smiling. No one ever said life was fair.

    • Hey Erica, maybe you should check out Selena Soo – she turned her invisibility around… and you can too. I know what you mean that it seems to be about who you know more than your skills and talents – but building relationships is the key – as it is with anything in business or life!

  19. This episode could not have come at a better time! I was just throwing myself a pity party after comparing myself to a number of businesses who share the same services (a lot of this comes from social media…A LOT!). I usually use this envy to get to work and to strategize ways to stay focused on my business and how I can improve my certain areas and not get down in the dumps. I’m a B-Schooler (CO17), so I am happy to have an outlet to turn to when I need help with these areas of improvement.

    Love you. Love your team (Eric is super cute…but whatever).

    Thanks for another great episode!

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Hailee, we’re so glad that you find the B-School community to be helpful for working through strategies and mindset work the same. Having people that understand what you’re experiencing is so important to working through things that spring up and continuing on your path to success.

      I can also assure you that Eric is also a super amazing guy as well 😉

  20. I’m at a trade show for my industry. In previous years I notice that I used to get envious of people who had a cooler product than me. I’ve worked to get my product tight and am now super confident in it. I now notice that what I really envy now is people with their financial game in order. Emergency fund, savings, house down payment, retirement plans even. So weird for me as I never cared about that until recently. I see that what I want now is SECURITY. I want to build my solid foundation. I’ll be back for another round of B school with a focus on automation and building a team for my business. Look forward to talking to you on alumni office hours.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Madison, the shift in your thinking and subsequent behavior is something to celebrate. That’s called growth and you’re doing an awesome job! And financial security envy is a GOOD kind, and I’m one of those people as well. I see those peeps and I want that and it’s fuel for my determined fire. High five and keep up the awesome work.

  21. I receive the READ with gratitude!

  22. I envy people who are doing what they are passionate about and not having to deal with hating Mondays. I want that too! I finally have stumbled upon something I LOVE which includes what I love to do, help others! I feel like I have worked really hard in the last 18 months, in my spare time, which is minimal, due to my 9 to 5 job, and I am not where I thought (or want) to be. Great video though. I am going to celebrate instead of be envious because it is possible…… because others are doing it.

  23. Karen

    Time to activate!

  24. Paige

    I feel like I’ve been very envious of people that make more money than me. I’m very aware of this and have been working tirelessly for over 2 years to find a job that pays me what I’m worth. I’ve had over 20 interviews and have been rejected from every single one. It’s been exhausting. I’ve put my heart, soul, and all of my energy into this and have seen no results. The envy is still there. All I can do is “just keep swimming.”

    • Brooke

      This is a tough situation and I was there all throughout my early 20’s when I was doing management jobs that my employers would pay me 2/3 less to do than the older managers they hired in my place after I left and that they had had before me-because they knew I’d throw my heart and soul into it regardless of the salary and they took advantage of that. When I was in my 20s I didn’t really have the leverage to combat that but in my 30’s I got a little better at it. Now-after having quite my career (that finally made good money and all the benefits and expense accounts etc) Im’ back at the point I was at in my early 20’s-slogging away for much less than I’ve been paid since my 20’s! But that’s because I chose to get out of something that I felt was killing me and making me a worse person. I put myself in this position-and though I like the clients I work with now I still feel envy often- of those who have what I used to have and kill myself worrying about how I will ever get there again, how long it will take (much scarier when you are now suddenly in your late 30s), etc.

      I am in a foreign country currently and I’m also very picky about who I’ll work with (I have to be truly passionate so I can represent them like it was my own company) so that is the main reason it’s near-impossible to get my income up to anything close to what I was used to. That’s on me-because I chose to stay in a country with few opportunities for me-to stay with my fiancee for longer and spent all of my savings doing so-while picking up crumbs of projects I could do from abroad with my limited remote work skills. I have done work at 1/3 of what I’d get paid back at home, because I simply needed to prove I could do the things I now want to get paid to do-and I needed to stop losing money.

      But one thing is-just keep creatively looking for opportunities that fit you and approaching those who might be able to pay you for those opportunities. And take note of the small improvements. They seem small at the time-but they add up over time. Three years ago-I had zero income and had just finished spending some savings taking a year career break in Europe when I was convinced to stay with my fiancee in Spain-where I had no work opportunities instead of going home to a new management job. I ran through most of the rest of my savings over the next two years trying to make it work with him-and picking up small projects. The 2nd year I started bringing in 1/2 of what I needed to live, by working with clients. The 3rd year now I’m finally making what I need to live. Next year I expect to have another significant increase. Then I’ll be at the point where I finally have money to save again.

      Has it been a torturously slow process? Yes. Could I have done it faster by staying in my own country and using my connections to find clients within my industry? yes.

      But one year from now-when I’m making a decent living doing what I had hoped I’d be able to do three years ago when I quit my job because I couldn’t get off the path I was on, will I regret it? No. And I will just keep moving forward.

      A bit of advice- Do NOT just apply for job after job and hope something magic happens or that people who don’t know or care about you will see your worth. Create a website and a footprint online that shows how amazing and talented you are. Create evidence of what you are good at-don’t rely on your words or great interviewing skills to propel you. Network, participate in groups of other motivated women. Show people what things you are an expert at or know a lot about.
      Email people or contact them to connect on Linkedin with polite, complimentary messages and small requests for advice or mentoring (if they are appropriate to your goals). Start doing small jobs on the side-that relate to what you’d rather be doing (than what you currently do)-regardless of the pay. Just get the evidence that you can do these things. Think outside the box. Are you free to move to a new city/ Can you take courses online or in person that will get you a network that may lead you to a new opportunity?

      What are your goals and what is your current job? I may think of some ideas for you.

  25. Such a fun and wise episode!! I know envy was such a good and useful feeling in the past- it guided me to a career change and now I’m so happy I had courage to do that! So I always appreciate envy and try to be inspired by those people instead of envious. Lately it’s about public speaking/videos/workshops- I know I want to do that and it’s time! My action- I’m going to public speaking/voice training now!

  26. HI Marie,
    I loved this episode, made me smile. What I envy (have aspirations for) is to be like you! You have such a way of connecting with your audience and making this so enjoyable whilst doing the work you love. I love the work I do as well, and will definitely see this as a question of how do I step it up a few notches and REALLY put myself out there.
    Thank you, Suparna xx

  27. I’m envious of so many things. I’m envious of other peoples’ tall height, beauty, money, intimate relationships, business relationships, freedom, travel, singing voices…the list goes on and on. The good news is that I’m not obnoxious about it or passive/aggressive about it. I try and get the envy under control because it’s not a good feeling. It’s a form of suffering, and I don’t like how I feel when I’m envious. It feels like I have a lack of something or that I’m not enough in so many ways. I feel jipped and like it’s not fair that I wasn’t something more in this life. Then, I fantasize what other peoples’ lives are like who have it all. And, it is a fantasy. I look at other people who seem to have it all, money, status, beauty, safety, family, privilege, etc. and they behave envious. Sometimes, they behave envious over me for things that I’m able to do. It’s not easy to be content with ones self, and, yet, it could be the easiest thing in the world to just choose to change your mind about your perception. It doesn’t mean that a person has to stop striving, but why suffer along the way? I notice that some people with mental disabilities don’t emote envy. They seem to be the happiest, most peaceful beings. They seem to be more evolved than most of us in many ways. We could all learn something from them.

    • Richt-Jildou

      exactly. It’s a form of suffering. I’m so tired of that 🙂

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      You’re so right, Tina. Here’s to less suffering and more celebrating the amazing, fabulous individuals that each of us are. Live in the moment and enjoy!

  28. Maria

    Super Marie!!
    It changed my life when I understood it that way!
    The envy beast that was consuming me became my fuel and so I get shit done instead!
    Feels so much better!
    Keep shining your light.
    x0

  29. Shubhangi Kaushik

    Nowadays, I’m just thinking about new approaches and formulas. I got an envy about how people managed to solve advanced questions in two to three steps. Moreover, How they managed to study after 9 hours job because despite doing lots of efforts I’m still struggling with this Ha! ha! Here I’m talking about the preparation of competitive exams. I really feel envious like why didn’t I ask that type of doubt or approach…
    But after this episode, I have realized that only me but many other people are struggling with the same kind of feeling. Relief!
    Thanks.

  30. Dear Marie and team. thanks again for a super valuable lesson en episode of Marie TV. As I was walking my dog this morning; this was on my mind. I was envious of someone and something. And again fed up with this feeling. Why am I so often envious of someone/thing. So great timing.
    My takeaway is especially question 2 (investigate) and then dig deeper with the sub question (are you willing to put in time and effort) and is it aligned with your priorities/goals right now.

    And now it comes dow to action. Another Marie-quote: Clarity comes from engagement, not thought. Take action now, you’ll find your truth.

    THANK YOU!
    RJ

  31. Ann

    I am envious of many other jewelers who have been making jewelry less years than I and are doing well, plus ones who can sell larger pieces. I have been creating jewelry on my own for 18 years and I am in debt. I started out making beautiful large artful pieces but they didn’t sell so I “dumbed down” in my own words and started creating simple pieces that sell well and are easy to reproduce for me. I started Laying the Foundation through Flourish and Thrive and I started B School. I have been doing the work but it’s taking so much time from the work bench. I keep on moving forward but it seems to take so long for me and it seems for others it just happens. I know they are working hard also but I feel many of them have help or a partner. I don’t have help and I have been raising my daughter on my own since she was one. I do have great friends and family who support me emotionally and I am very grateful for that. I know I am on the right path I just need a break! Thanks for listening! You are inspiring!

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Ann, you are amazing and working so hard to create a beautiful life for you and your daughter. One thing to keep in mind about B-School is that it’s with you for the lifetime of the program. Trust what YOU need in terms of time and effort. It’s there for when you need it. If that means you need more ease and time, the content will be there. That’s why we built it the way we did.
      And when you get envious about something in someone’s business, you can dive into B-School and make it even more amazing with what YOU want. xo

  32. Thank you for this eye opening episode. I never thought to look at envy this way. Thank you for this nugget of wisdom.

    And I loved the spoken word. ; )

  33. Donna

    I envy people that deal with things as it happens and they don’t create piles! Not snail-mail, Not email, not things to do when you have time to create a more thoughtful response. And piles are not just physical.
    I HAVE PILES! I am creating my own clutter and it’s seeping into every aspect of my life. I am stuck in my clutter! My piles are creating overwhelm, self-doubt and stuckness! So it’s time to become a pro! No more trying, no more deviating. I will be consistent. One thing at a time, one pile at a time.
    This email is something I would have come back to when I had time to be more thoughtful. Happy to move forward…

  34. jutta

    And for me too this episode was the best which I’ve watched for a long time.

    envy. well, it looks be hind every corner. Why am I not able to ask those simple question and turn it around, like you… 😉
    you insight, Marie, touched me. and i’m sure that this will push my life in a different direction. Thank you so much

  35. Kylie Abel

    I think this is my favourite MarieTV Q&A Tuesday episode! Thank you SO much for choosing to answer this question. I never thought of using envy to my advantage, which seems a little silly in hindsight. I always tried to banish the feeling, which was almost always a failure. Also, your team mate reminds me of Jamie Lannister 🙂

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Thank you for watching and loving it so much, Kylie. It is most certainly something that everyone can relate to.
      Eric is as funny as Jamie Lannister, but not nearly as deadly 😉 We’ve got a LONG ways to go until 2019! xo

  36. michele

    Hi Marie,
    I am the exact opposite!! I always acknowledge, show support and praise others for their achievements. I truly feel their joy. Sadly, I have a difficult time in supporting and believing in myself.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      How freeing would it feel for you to feel that JOY and celebration when you hit a milestone or success? Try replicating the sensations that you get for others for yourself. You may just change your whole life, Michele!

  37. Corinne Meharg

    You just make me smile and laugh out loud. And that’s a very good thing. I was waiting for the guys to get their hair done in the salon so they didn’t have to be driven by Hair Envy anymore! As always, you are spot on.

  38. Thank you for clarifying the difference between envy and jealousy. I really like the idea of using envy to your advantage and not just seeing it as a negative emotion. It can be a great motivator to push myself to the next level.

  39. Lorraine

    I absolutely freakin love you
    You give the best advice in the most awesome fun way

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      That is most certainly the goal, Lorraine! xo

  40. Laurais

    Envy also has to do with not wanting someone to prosper if you believe they’ve done you wrong.

    I was recently dumped by a romantic partner who led me on and was too bright not to know that she was doing so. I believe she was using me and that she lacked integrity. If she were to find happiness in another relationship, I’d feel that she wouldn’t deserve it. I’d like her to feel some of the hurt that I feel. That’s a kind of envy that I know I need to let go of.

  41. Sarah Lange

    Was it just me or did anyone else notice homage to Blackalicous with this video? :). And I loved the message!!

  42. Rosemary

    Thanks for this timely episode, Marie!
    My green eyed beastie popped in uninvited this Sunday. I had not heard from her in a while, and frankly, she is not a welcomed guest. I was reading through introductions and exploring websites posted by some new on-line classmates. Green girl had taken over the soundtrack in my head and was making me see red. “You can’t keep up in this program, she reasoned. “Look how advanced and talented these people are.”
    I closed my laptop. She had a huge list she was spewing. A pity party ensued. Yesterday on my lunchtime walk I started to realize she had some good points. Yes, I had tons of work to do. Yes, my website is unresponsive, but I do own my url. Little by little I saw how much I had already accomplished and how much I still had to learn. Ms.Green isn’t such a bad girl after all. She’s just brutally honest. Next time I will try to be a more gracious hostess and offer her a comfy chair and some tea. I guess you could say it’s a tale as old as time–from beastie to bestie.
    B-Schooler, 2018

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Rosemary, I am going to reach through this laptop and hug you. YES! While Green Girl may be truthful, she’s no match for FunSheet and Action Taking Girl 🙂 Clarity comes from engagement, not thought. So while you’re busy ‘doing’, she’ll be quieted more and more.

      Sending you a BIG Team Forleo hug.

  43. I absolutely feel waves of envy when I come across bloggers or coaches that have successful booming online businesses. I see their work wish that I was already in their position on their journey. When I feel envy I do my best to use that as a driving force behind getting my own work done. Of course, easier said than done!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Definitely easier said than done. I heard a great quote a while back that your comment reminded me of: “you can’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle or your middle to someone else’s end.” Keep that driving force going strong––you got this. 🙂

  44. Hi Marie,
    Thank you so much for your constant motivation and all the free advice. Speaking of envy. What if there are people who are constantly copying exactly what you do and doing it better than you? How do you compete with That? It’s a fast paced world we live in and no matter what you do, Its all been done before so when you come up with something new and creative it is something to be proud of. However getting copied is unstoppable I know. But what if the person who is copying everything you do is a family member and in the same community and hindering your progress? What do you do then? Please Marie. I need help and your advice.
    Stay blessed.
    Mimi.

  45. Marie, I think your awareness strategies you laid out in the video are presented with much love and I found it very uplifting. There are many ways one may have responded to such a question but I think your response is very accessible and empowering.
    I so appreciate how much levity you bring to your messages. You so inspire so much self love. Love and Gratitude.

  46. I’m envious of those around me online and in my personal life that just go for it while my big toe is still testing the water. I heard recently that those with fear of failure – like me – basically fail not because their idea (or whatever) was bad, but because they never even tried. I have tried for years to find out WHY I feel this way, but it dawned on me that maybe the why part doesn’t matter. Maybe the why was just one more barrier that I invited to stand in my way. I’m ready for a change and need to just rip that band-aid off already instead of picking at the edges.

  47. Maria

    Hey Marie and community, thanks for that A to the Q. I have a further question on that topic. As I have hair loss due to a health problem I sometimes indeed envy or admire other woman for their hair… fun fact – as you were thematizing it. Do you maybe have a tip what to do in this case as I can not actually “work” on achieving what I admire on others. Thank you a lot and best, Maria

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s a really good question, Maria! Marie and the community might have other great tips to share, but the first thing that came to my mind is to perhaps check out the body positive community on social media. Although it tends to focus on bodies with regard to size, there are some larger movements that focus on other areas. Body positivity is all about embracing and loving your body exactly as it is, regardless of what conventional beauty standards say, so hair would certainly fit into that. I hope this helps!

      • Maria

        Dear Mandy, thank you so much for reaching out to me about that and for your lovely and helpful comment. I will definitely check it out, thank you a lot!

    • Hi Maria! Great question. I’ve seen women conquer this a few ways. Here are two ideas to consider as a jumping off point.

      One approach is through more deeply appreciating your own beauty (inner and outer) exactly as it is. I don’t think there’s any human alive that hasn’t deeply admired — or even fantasized about — having certain physical traits that they may never have. Whether it’s eye color, skin quality, body shape, hair, etc. But as we all come to discover, learning to love ourselves (inside and out!) is essential for a healthy, joyful life.

      An alternate hair approach is researching the world of wigs, add-ons, clips, extensions etc. Many women *love* and have *so much fun* with all the different options to embrace different looks, depending on how they feel that day. It becomes another beautiful vehicle for self-expression.

      Hope this helps!

      • Maria

        Dear Marie, thank you so much for your response! This is the first time that I reached out to you this way in the comments (and I gotta say I am also a B-Schooler 2018!) and I thank you a lot for your loving support and feedback! You rock for real. Thanks for all the change you make in so many lives!

  48. Non of that Princess Marie. The fact is that people don’t see what people see and people don’t do what people do. Every body’s vision might be different, because they’re the only one who will make that difference in this world, regardless of support, teaming or anything. It is good to be good, bad to be bad.

  49. This was enlightening. I’ve done a fair bit of work on this already but I can allllways use a refresher and this really helped to clarify actions I need to take now to make the most of my current envy sitch! Thanks 🙂

  50. Lisa Fitzgerald

    Marie : D
    LOVED the words you used: “Get your ass to work!” This is the key to getting a life that is, well, enviable. I know because for twenty years I was stuck in a life I thought I couldn’t return for a refund. I was a happy-on-the-outside person, but I envied the people who were doing things they enjoyed and had relationships with healthy people.
    I learned divorce could be a good thing. That led to some scary finances initially, but that struggle led to getting some confidence, going back to school, and finding someone who liked me for who I am instead of what emotional services I could provide.
    Last year I published my first book and am busy writing the second one. This fall I’m going to a writers’ conference and taking my awesome (second) husband along for a tropical eleventh anniversary, because the conference is in Kauai.
    Looking back at the old Lisa, I am just so full of gratitude for the changes that allowed me to bloom and step into a career I love (I do mammograms for a living and get to help a lot of women).
    Some of the women I work with are envious of me – and I know it’s because I am joyful and confident. I am in my early fifties and not incredibly slim or gorgeous…I just love my life, and I worked hard to get to this place. I see a lot of women in my line of work – from all different backgrounds, ethnicities, professions, and age groups. The ones that really shine are the ones who like who they are and are carving out a life they love.
    I don’t have envy for anyone anymore – I’m too busy enjoying the journey.
    And it all started because I got my ass to work. On myself.
    Thanks for your encouragement, in so many things! Hopefully your words will reach some younger women, helping them to make the changes to bust out and bloom.
    Lisa the Writer : D

    • Lisa Fitzgerald

      P.S. Also known as Elizabeth, for any dog-loving readers out there.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      YES! This is fantastic, Lisa! Congrats on your books and all the beautiful work you’re doing.

    • I really adore everything you shared Lisa, the writer 🌸 Sending you a HUGE hug!

      • Lisa

        We’re all in this together, Sister!! Thank you for showing us how it’s done!
        : D

  51. Hi Marie,
    Excellent topic. I’m glad you differentiated between Envy and Jealousy. We need to celebrate each other more often in this world!
    Linda

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      So true! Marie has two great quotes that are so timely for this episode: “There’s always more room at the top” and “I’ll have what she’s having. There’s always more where that came from.” So often we think of the things we want as being finite resources, when in fact celebrating each other can spread more of the good stuff around. 🙂

    • I agree Linda 🎉

  52. DNN

    Hi Marie,

    I love the fact that you blog about down-to-earth topics alongside business and side hustling to online marketing millions. Like yourself and others who are highly successful today, I too have been the target of envy by people from the past. I’ve been plotted on, falsely accused, and ousted in the past. Like Michael R Bloomberg who started Bloomberg L.P. in 1981 after being let go from Salomon Brothers on Wall Street, I was uncertain about my business future. I had no choice but to adopt, adapt, and stay concentrated in an entrepreneurial mindset because like Bloomberg, Drewry refuses to lay down in business defeat to any narcissist or imps they use to create enmity.

    “Jealous Ones Envy” is millions gained in the near future by the one they contemplated against. They’ll sit back and wonder in total awe about how the one that they ganged up on became so spiritually and financially prosperous. Life is a daily fight Inside the mind in achieving supremacy over adversity. Hate makes the mental growth stagnate. When they contemplate, it slowly increases my financial weight. Checkmate!

  53. Oh my, this was so funny and awesome! I love you, Marie!!!!

  54. I’ve been listening to my envy for some time now … it is a dear friend, very honest onr. Every time I feel “I can do that too” and start a comparison game, I say to myself: “well, why don’t you?” And then I listen …

  55. I always try to use my jealousy in a good way. Like instead of being mean to people for what they have or getting mad at them, it just makes me work harder to achieve the same results. I think that, this type of jealousy is the healthy kind.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Absolutely! Although jealousy has a negative connotation, it can definitely be used for good. 🙂

  56. ROTFL!!! I love the part with the elevate, chocolate hahaha. Great great stuff

  57. Tai

    Gurrlll😍 lovin the rap and the evrythang u do hehe

  58. Agata

    If it weren’t for envy I wouldn’t start many actions that have lead me to many important
    achievements!
    Envy is a great motivator!
    It’s good Marie that You distinguished envy from being jelaous, it helped me a lot.

  59. Myrtle

    I am so grateful for Marie TV. My therapist flaked today (I hope she’s ok!), and I find myself making the most of this hour here by watching this show and reflecting on envy in my life.
    Having had what has felt like a devastating career failure in the past year, I have found myself repeatedly envying so many people accomplishing a vast variety of dreams, even if they aren’t mine!
    So, I think you’re right! All I must want is that sense of accomplishing my dreams! THERE IS HOPE FOR ME YET! Thank you! I’m so glad this exists!

    • If you haven’t already, drop your therapist a kind and loving call or note checking in to see if she’s OK! A loving message could mean the world to her.

  60. Oh, my goodness, Marie! Thanks for making me laugh out loud when I’m all alone AND inspire me to live *my* life. I noticed jealousy seeping in when my friend’s hubby helped her set up her website while I’ve been working on my new website for the last month and a half, all on my own. But your video made me realize that this is envy because I am just so darn ready for my new site to be unveiled. It’s some overdue enthusiasm and I’m back to focusing on how much heart and soul is shining through it. Plus, I let my friend know how much I am excited for her adventure. She is my soul sister, after all, and celebrating it ALL feels so much better. Thank you again.

  61. WOWWWWWW!!!! It just reminds me when I first started my recovery from a toxic relationship. I must be willing to put some effort and get out of what it’s causing me troubles if I really want to have a healthy life! Specially when you say that we need to see examples of other people doing things before we can even understand what is possible in our lives! I just went nuts!
    As always thank you soooo much for your light!

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Kudos to you for overcoming this challenging time in your life and making the necessary changes, Nadia! We know this is by no means easy. Thank you for sharing your experience here!

  62. Hi Marie!
    I love this advice and this episode of MarieTV.
    I admit to feeling envious when I see other lifestyle bloggers and textile designers who are totally showing up and living out their creative dreams! I know that is my skillset and I want to do it too! I love the advice to look at examples of their success as inspiration. I try not to get jealous and to think of it as the universe showing me that I can do it too! I also try to follow what I see working for others. At times making it in business as a creative can be confusing, and I need to see a map to know I am on the right course.

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Hi Hilary! What you’re experiencing is completely natural and part of the creative process. You’re exactly where you need to be on your own journey, so remember that while letting others’ success serve as an inspiration. Also keep in mind that what you have to offer is completely unique and special, simply because it’s coming from you. Lastly, check out this episode of MarieTV: https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/10/feeling-behind-in-life/ and make sure you’re being kind to yourself along the way! XO

  63. Hi and thanks for all the great info! I am envious of these jazz singers who are able to get steady gigs. I would love to sing even just once a month. I do not have a following and maybe that’s the reason I don’t get hired. But, I will keep trying to contact these restaurant owners. Also, I produced an album of original songs, and trying to get that out there through social media; tough business!!! Here is a link to the first song:
    https://youtu.be/EaZvBOAqSOU

  64. GR

    Thank you Marie, for another perfect episode, so spot on, and the timing couldn’t be better. Thank you for this invitation and opportunity to examine this emotion!

    Recently, I got back in touch with someone who’d been a close friend years ago. She had married someone very successful, and suddenly had been catapulted into a whole new level of existence. I felt very left behind and very much in the shadow of all that her new life provided her.

    In the years that passed, I experienced a lot of trauma and struggle, in relationships, in finances and in the workplace. I’m talking EPIC! It’s felt like it has taken all my energy just to survive! When I hear about what her life’s been like, I feel cheated. Sure, I understand her life has probably had its ups and downs. And I know I shouldn’t compare. But she’s hasn’t had to face it all alone.

    Having heard what you said today, I will focus more on the what and why, and will find a way to celebrate what is becoming clear through all this reflection, and I will start to take steps toward that which I most desire.

    Marie, thank you so much, for all you have done, and all that you do! Your work has been a huge positive influence in my life.

    Much love,
    G

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      G! Thank you for what you shared here so honestly. We completely understand how difficult it can feel when you’re feeling left behind, or like someone else’s success in life has come much more easily than your own trials have allowed. Of course, no one’s path is without its own challenges, no matter how things may appear on the surface. It sounds like you’re now approaching this in such a helpful way by reflecting on what YOU most desire instead of getting stuck in comparison or jealousy, and this takes a lot of courage!

      Remember, your journey is unique to you, and you’ve gained SO much wisdom along the way that’s truly irreplaceable. Be sure to watch this episode of MarieTV, too: https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/10/feeling-behind-in-life/.

      We’re so grateful to have you in our world, G, thank you for staying tuned!

  65. Oh Marie, you are so right on point with this episode. As a matter of fact, you had me uproariously laughing…, my crunches/planks are done for the day!

    I do not have this challenge in my life, however I can relate to your message with full emotional empathy. Why? Because this reminds me of a flashback, into the hood when I was a young man. People around me in the other people’s success so much, that it stood out like a sore thumb…

    In the 1970’s, a Motown group called The Temptations, said it best with the song “Don’t Let The Joneses Get You Down”. And your video was so totally cool. It reminded me of another song by the same group called, “Ball of Confusion”. Yes! You really brought on a good laugh for me today. One which was totally needed. And I mean that in a positive tone. Because of the truthfulness in your message.

    So what stood out for me? To paraphrase an old quote. What’s the quickest way to get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice!

    And turn your passion into purpose. Thank You Marie, truly you are a blessing in my life 😘 and millions of others too. 😊 Namaste

  66. Kasia

    This episode really resonated with me. I’ve been feeling down for over a month now because the influential person in my niche released a course on the topic that I’ve been working on for months. It was like the most important thing I wanted to do in my life and now I really don’t see a point of working on it. This person is more influential and has years of experience and I don’t see how I can top her knowledge. And if I release my course I will look like a copycat because the topic is quite specific. I basicaly just want to be her because she has everything I not only dreamt of but also worked for and now I can throw it all out. Coping with these feelings and deciding what to do next is really hard. 🙁

    • Chris Wynter

      Kasia, there will be people who resonate with this influential person you mention and many who do not. This is true in every niche without exception. Many of those people who do not will be drawn to you and what you have created. Unless you have copied her course, which obviously you haven’t, very few will think you are a copycat, I promise!
      You don’t need to top her knowledge; you are presenting this topic in a way only you can; and how do you know this person didn’t have the same feelings about an influential person when she started out but continued anyway?

      Don’t let your hard work go to waste! :o)

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Oh Kasia, we completely feel you here – that’s so tough, and we’re sorry you’ve been feeling down! We want you to remember that the gifts you have to share with the world, that you feel most called to share, are SO very unique and important. And these can only come from you. When you feel ready, we’d challenge you to take this as an opportunity to embrace your unique talents, strengths, and qualities that set you apart from anyone else in your field. We KNOW you can do this!

      I think you’ll find two episodes of MarieTV helpful along the way:
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2018/02/renee-mauborgne-interview-blue-ocean-strategy-tips/
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2011/01/business-stand-crowd/

      Sending you big hugs, love, and encouragement 🙂

  67. Dear Marie & Team, y’all just cracked me up so much this episode. Thank you for my morning sunshine.
    The funny thing about envy is that we feel it about people who are years ahead of us in that area/field that we want to be doing things. It is easy to feel inadequate against that. I have to remind myself that the people whose work I love and admire have taken years to get to ‘this point’ and I can’t truly know what they did to get to this moment with their work. So naturally, it’s gonna take a few years to reach my own goal peak. Not only that, at times like this I must remind myself of my own achievements that I’ve already landed.
    By the way Marie, with your permission, I would absolutely love to make a cloth art doll of you (that’s my thing).
    Love and peace.

  68. Oh what perfect timing since I was on Instagram last night just envying all over another jewellery designer! Went to bed all bilous – and yet it was totally clear to me that I didn’t want to be like her. I didn’t love her jewellery, I loved the freedom with which she was present, and how she presented it, and how she seems to have achieved something I really desire… Then when I saw your vid today Marie it made me remember something I heard many years ago about the Goddess ‘Green Tara’ who helps us to develop the ‘wonder-working wisdom’ of envy!! So there you go – you and Green Tara are on the same wavelength 😀 – plus you’re clearly a thought reader, hehe. Big thank you. Now I’m off to activate because I really want to get to the chocolate part!!

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Love that, Sheridan – “the wonder-working wisdom of envy”! This is fantastic clarity to have gained from your recent experience of envy. Love your activating energy – you GO! And in case you ever find yourself stuck in Instagram or comparison land too long, check out this episode of MarieTV: https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/10/feeling-behind-in-life/ 🙂

  69. Alexandra

    LOL!! S/O to the production team on this one with the spoken word rhymes. Empowering message but it just wouldn’t be “Marie TV” without the fun skits. ^-^

  70. Great video to help people channel their energy.

  71. Instead of jealous .. We need to spend some work on practical things thanks for your video to overcome

  72. Pecas

    just feel frustrated, not envious, on how to go about to get financial gains and life I’d like to very much live.

  73. Hi I have a question how can i contact with you ?

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Hi Hiraad! You can always reach out to us at infoATmarieforleoDOTcom and we’ll be glad to get back to your there!

  74. I loved that you dug deeper into reasons for our envy. Something I recently discovered is that envy can also be a result of what we ‘think’ we should be like. So many people telling us what is the way to live our lives, how to look, how to behave, and if we take the time to dig deeper, we might discover being envious of these people is a total waste of our time. Throw off the ‘shoulds’ of life and perhaps envy won’t visit so often.
    Love the work you and your team do Marie. It’s inspiring but to be honest, I’m not envious. 🙂

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      LOVE this insight, Máire! So very true. Letting go of the “shoulds” is incredibly liberating. Thank you for sharing this here!

  75. Really amazing video! Thank you so much Marie for your great insight as always 🙂
    My envy right now is to have a paper business up and running… hehe I feel a bunch of motivation to make it happen!

  76. Ula

    I truly love you gays, Marie and The Team. You always put a smile on my face and warm my heart deeply. Great episode. I found it very supportive in my comparison struggles. Great performance! I was in tears of joy and laughter watching your team members perform. They are all amazing but this time Zach really nailed it! I kept on rewinding to watch his face again and again! Hilarious! What an amazing acting skills! Thank you! Im still in tears! Loved it!
    I have just read about passing away of the great cosmologist Stephen Hawking. It was very touching to see the amazing universe backgroud you guys used so beautifuly. What a coinsidence. Or not. Thank you. I love you.

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much for all the kind words, Ula! We’re happy to hear these videos bring you joy and smiles! Yes, Zach really did have an amazing performance here 🙂 You’re so observant and while that was a coincidence, a beautiful one indeed. What a special person and legacy. Thank you for being in our world! XO

  77. Debby

    Loved this show and the steps you gave. Envy is mostly negative unless you use it in the steps you outlined. Here’s a short poem I wrote on this subject.

    Envy

    Envy is like cancer
    It starts out small
    Grows quickly
    Spreads rapidly
    Is always destructive

    Envy expresses dissatisfaction with who you are
    Part of you believes you deserve more
    Than you currently have
    Which makes you less than you truly are

    To conquer envy requires a shift and way of being
    You are unique in the universe
    Possess gifts and talents
    Focus some of your energy and time on you
    Develop your gifts

    Be concerned on what you can give
    Receiving comes naturally from giving
    Be content and thankful for what you have now and who you are
    Be happy and joyous for the success of others
    They’ve walk and worked their own path
    You walk yours

    Every step on the path of life
    Contains a choice
    Know that you are worthy, worthwhile, heard, and loved
    Believe it and it becomes so
    Envy withers and dies
    You become a beacon of light and love

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Amen, Debby – beautiful! Thank you for sharing it with us 🙂

  78. This was brilliant and perfect timing. Been in a slump lately, and was praying this morning confessing my envy and covetous nature, I truly wanted to be happy for others, and seeking out how to process it. Thank you. love the steps.

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      SO glad to hear this was perfect timing for you, Stephanie. Really hope these strategies help!

  79. I’ve always thought of envy in a similar fashion as Aristotle – when ALSO I want what someone else has. I think of it as being a ‘normal’ reaction. Jealousy, on the other hand, I’ve always seen as when I want to snatch from another something they have, so I have it, but they don’t. That does not sit well with me, and I believe would come back to bite me eventually.
    Thanks for the post!

  80. Maria

    I LOVE THIS EPISODE! I have been hit by the green eyed monster a lot recently literally all of my social circle and girlfriends are starting to get engaged to their boyfriends, get married or have children. It’s a hard type of envy because with professional/business envy I feel like it’s a fuel like Marie says pushing me to something I want to achieve but getting married doesn’t only depend on me it’s a decision made between me and another person so it’s not really a goal but a possibility that might happen or not to me.

    It’s even harder when I go to their weddings and am always socially pressured by everyone: will you two be the next ones? And getting this awful feeling of really wanting to be next but knowing my relationship with my man is still not quite there even though we adore each other. Has this happened to any of you? Is your Facebook also invaded with engagement rings and baby bumps? How did you guys deal with it?

    As always thank you so much to Marie and her team for always producing top material.
    XOX

    Maria

  81. Astrid Zayas

    Such a valuable lesson. Right now my envy is diminishing. I have been envious of women who were following their hearts in their own business. I was stuck in the pharma industry, thinking that for me it wasn’t possible. I quit in February and now I am a B schooler. My belief has changed. I know now that: yes, there is space for me in the world to bring what my heart has been calling me to do for a looooong time. That’s why I am not as envious as I used to.

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      YES, Astrid! We’re so very proud of you for constructively using your envy to move towards what you truly desire for yourself. You’re a beautiful, shining example of this and we’re so thrilled to have you as a B-Schooler! This is just the beginning of your exciting next chapter!

  82. I so loved this episode… I do just that – congratulate folks who are doing what I want to do or have accomplished their goals in same industry that I am in. That helps with shaking off the feeling of envy. Its an ongoing process. Thanks for being so brave and honest by bringing attention to this topic.
    FYI: I LOVED the skits. They’re TheBomb.com AND the Open Mic Poetry was Off The Hook. You guys are one of a kind.

  83. Stuck getting started in a business, fear!? Computer skills could be better but I have learned alot. Guess I just need to do 1 thing every day…at least 1 and maybe it will give me more energy to do more. I am about to be 68yrs old but am not done. Want to make a difference even on a small scale. I am a nurse but done with traditional/allopathic medicine. Too many mistakes, too many misdiagnosis, to many people dying unnecessarily, and big pharma is too big.

    • Cynthia, couldn’t agree with you more regarding traditional medicine and big pharma. I’m pushing through my fear of starting something, so if you need a push feel free to email me.

  84. oh, yeah, I’m envious on everyone who has a good web series : )
    …and that’s because I know I can do it, and I feel I should have done it already.
    So, I feel that, because now is not a good timing for my business, I must strategize better, start writing and preparing the project WITHOUT feeling mandatory to put it on Youtube… like yesterday!
    Thanks, Marie, actually that’s why I didn’t do anything about it yet, so I’ll get a notebook and start writing when I have time and inspiration, and it will come to fruition when it will want to come to fruition – I’ll do my work in the meantime.
    Merci !

  85. Graciela

    I have envy of some colleagues that have tons of clients, because I really like my job and i’m just starting my business. But I have studied some marketing to get more clients in my area and stop that bad envy. =)

  86. Taryn

    Wow – I am gobsmacked at the timing of this episode! I just had a lengthy “text therapy” session with a girlfriend about my own insecurities because of envy! I spent YEARS as a highly envious and insecure person …. which can be sooo painful. Now, at age 43, I find my self- confidence boosted but my envious side still sneaks up periodically. I will watch / listen to this episode several times and apply the tools to my own envy situations to see if they are indicating an area I need to focus on!
    I feel for Lauren who posed the original “Q” for this episode…i too find myself looking at others appearances, careers, choices etc. and boy can these feelings drag you down! Know this Lauren, you aren’t alone and it DOES get easier I promise! You are brave to recognize that it’s a problem for you and ask for help.
    Fabulous episode Marie, thank you!

  87. I have been struggling to figure out what I truly want to be. My business has been going for 2 years and is really starting to take off, but in a completely different direction to what I intended.
    Now I understand HOW to find out what I want to be! I’ve always had a gap between what I’ve “thought” I wanted to be and who I’m jealous of – but it never occurred to me that it was because I had my thoughts of what I wanted to be wrong!
    Now I think I know what success looks like for me, not what I think it should look like. It looks like that woman I’m secretly jealous of… the one I actually really like and respect and felt terrible I was jealous of. Now it all makes sense!

  88. I’ve worked a lot with anger, and trying to explore how it’s a strong motivational sense that we need to change things rather than the ‘enemy’ has always been a big lesson 🙂

  89. Rebeccah Frame

    Heya. Love you Marie–you’re positive, bubbly and fun. Just watched the video about “envy.” A lot of what you say makes sense…and yet…sometimes it’s not just a matter of getting yourself to the gym in order to feel better. Sometimes, clearly, others have way more than you do. Sometimes their body type is just taller and leaner and no matter what you do you’re not going to look like that. Or, sometimes they have a loving family that has showered them with wealth, security, safety and you feel envy because you were abandoned as a child. You can celebrate what they have and yet, what I’m saying is you can’t always get it for yourself. At that point how do you handle those feelings? I think the best way is to face it that life isn’t fair and be grateful for what you do have. The world isn’t a level playing field and it probably never will be. It’s nice when those who have been showered with so much more recognize this and don’t rub it in your face. I’ve got a friend who has a trust fund and has never had to work. She lives in California and has a beautiful life. I’m envious–but see–there is nothing I can do about it. To think I’ll ever be able to work hard enough to buy a million dollar house is pretty much unrealistic. Anyway, these are more difficult feelings of envy. How do you swallow them?

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Hi Rebeccah, thank you so much for what you’ve shared here. You’re right, that there is sometimes an even more difficult layer to envy, which is the one you’re talking about here. For all of us, there will be certain things about ourselves or our history that we can’t change. What we find most helpful for those kinds of feelings is self-love and acceptance, which is a lifelong practice. While we’re not able to change certain parts of our past (which may not have been under our control at all), what we do always have power over is our present and future – which is what Marie’s focusing on in this episode.

      I think you’re onto something big in mentioning being grateful for what you do have, because we truly do all have something to be grateful for in our lives. And when we focus on this, instead of on what we can’t change, the good things tend to grow.

      In case it’s helpful, I wanted to share a few other episodes of MarieTV with you:
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2017/11/appreciation-even-better-than-gratitude/
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2017/12/gabrielle-bernstein-interview-judgment-detox/
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2014/12/tonglen/

      We’re sending loads of love your way, and are so grateful to have you as part of our community!

  90. Envy is not your enemy. Amen to that Sister!
    As a stage artist, I have a long relationship with envy. I’ve learned that Envy always pointed me toward more of my originality (ooo, nice lyric there!!). Indeed, I would feel those envy pinches and lean into them and almost always emerge with more of myself. As Marie says…it’s a chance to celebrate another being and their expression and bring more of your own voice to the party, or the chorus in this case. There is room for everyone and if you ain’t gonna sing your part, that part will go unsung (this is among the themes of my teaching/writing). So I view Envy now as an invitation to attune to my voice and how I can harmonize it to better effect.
    That was one extra funny video, btw! Back to my B-School work I go….weeeeeeee!!! Confettiiiiiiiii!

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Beautifully said, Karen – AMEN!! And yes to B-School confetti! Keep up the awesome work 🙂

  91. Carolyn Nyiti

    I loved this video.

    What an important topic to address and, in classic Marie style as usual, she nailed it.
    While people often confuse them, jealousy and envy are SO different. Jealousy pulls us deep down into the pit of all things lost and pointless while envy puts the glow on all things possible. Jealousy screams ‘give up’ with a frigid pokey tone while Envy says ‘get up’ like a fluffy cloud. Which voice would you rather have in your head?

    But even with a flip of the outlook switch, there is still work to be done. Envy sets the benchmark for where we want to be, but make no mistake, that’s ALL it does to help us get there.

    I am 5’1″ and a fraction, 5’2″ on a really buoyant day. I’ve got the build of a 14 year old boy. No curves, no wowza. I admire and aspire to have a super fit and healthy body and many of my role models have physical features I will never have. I could crawl under the covers and immobilize myself with dreams of curves and longer limbs until I atrophy. Or I can put the work in (at the gym, on my bike, in my head) and be in the world with that unstoppable feeling that is so darned nice to have. All the activity and healthy food from here to the land of Oz will never make me tall and buxom. But that’s not the real substance of my envy anyway. I am not inspired by a thing to get, but a feeling to have.

    This is a really important topic to get into with your kids if you have any. I’ve got five myself and I see them all ranking themselves against so much media. It’s no longer just the paparazzi worthy folk they’re up against, these days it’s anybody and everybody. Insta posts of fabulous vacations and happy happy perfect moments, scenery. Social media is great on a load levels but it’s got a direct line to ringing the inadequacy buzzer in our heads. As adults we have more time under our belts to know that a photo captures just a piece and not the whole puzzle. A fabulous shot of ones decadent dinner does not a life make.
    Learn this distinction and then use your new found wisdom to guide others in feeling truly glad for everyone else. What a relief to banish the negativity!
    If I see something that causes the wants, I unravel the why and then look for the how if I decide it’s important enough. My final picture won’t look anything like the original but I don’t even want it to? ‘Sameies’ anyone? Nuh uh, no thanks, I want to make my own happy happy’s!

    Big thanks to Team Forleo and Marie. The time and effort you all put in to helping me on my path to being my best helps fuel my days. I know my sentiment is shared by many.

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Carolyn, you shared so many great points here! Thank you for bringing them up. And can we just say how amazing your attitude and authenticity is?! SO inspiring. You’re right, that so often it’s a feeling we’re after, and learning to love ourselves (our bodies are such a perfect place to do so) unconditionally and take truly good care of ourselves is a key way to achieve the feelings we’re wanting. It’s so true what you mentioned about social media taking envy and comparison to a different level in today’s world, and we all must be mindful and take good care of ourselves mentally in this regard, too.

      Thank you so much for being an amazing part of our community!

  92. Love the poetry in this one!

  93. KG

    Thanks for this episode. Yes, jealousy and envy are great teachers (in strange wrapping paper) and challenge me to find out where it’s coming from. Am I primarily ego driven and needing to prove I’m good enough for example, or heart-centered and realizing there’s always enough and everything is connected. It’s all one thing, no one is separate or better than. We all play our parts and what that is exactly is a mystery. I may have glimpses, but so much is unknown. If you’re feeling jealous turn the emotion up and really let myself experience it fully. Ask yourself who is jealous? You may discover jealousy is just an idea, a story you’re telling yourself. It’s not even real. You’re making it up in your head.

  94. Ella

    Really useful info Miss Marie – this hit a nerve!

  95. Ruth Ann

    This really hits the mark. Thanks for the action steps of figuring out why envy creeps in and how to abolish it!

  96. #allthefeels for this vid right now. A few weeks ago, I developed big envy feelings towards a former co-worker. Her and her business partner raved about their success after launching their online business. They were able to develop an online course that reached $100k in revenue in just 5 months. I was envious of their financial success. It seemed like it took them less time and they had a great sales pitch, landing page and graphics to make their course shine. I realize now that they probably put in a lot of hours and hard work behind the scenes. They may have had to sacrifice vacations and family time. Truth is, I like the pace of my day-to-day. I don’t work late into the night because I value quality time with my husband. I know I need to either put in more hours to accelerate or be okay with a slower pace to achieve my income goals.

    Does this sound like I’m figuring it out? Difficult to pinpoint the underlying feelings here.

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Hi Justine! We’re so glad this one struck a chord with you right now. It sounds like you’ve really been exploring your feelings of envy and have some great clarity on your goals in a holistic sense. You said you were envious of their financial success, so you’re clear about the root of your envy – it sounds like you know what you’re wanting to achieve in that department!

      Since you know you value your non-working hours and quality time with your husband and are willing to have a slower pace of growth in order to maintain that balance – you may just want to continue working on exploring your feelings of envy as they come up for useful information, while trusting that you’re exactly where you need to be on your own journey. Leaning into envy without comparing yourself to others is definitely an art, but you’re absolutely on the right track!

      Check out this episode of MarieTV, too: https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/10/feeling-behind-in-life/

  97. Oh I LOVE a bit of envy now I know it’s simply a flag to let me know I’m in the midst of something I would like for myself….and knowing that I’m half way there already by identifying that thing in the first place because if I spot it, I’ve got it!!

  98. GIRL!!!!!!! This message of yours was my answer to prayer. Your words “Often times in this life it is hard to become what you don’t see. A lot of us need to see examples of others doing things before we can understand what is possible for our own lives.”

    Oh man!!!!!! And then you said words a few weeks back “Live like a champ!”

    I’ve dreamed of how I want to feel every day and what “Living like a champ” would mean to me. I’m clearer on my vision because of your words of wisdom Marie. Thank you for all you do in shedding your light, your example of what is possible for my life. It’s because of your words that I’ve been able to get a clear picture of my work.

    I love you!!

  99. Joann Hunter

    I have been noticing that I have been feeling envious of other people. I do know how-ever that in “me” it has been a guide to what I really want and have not acknowledged it inwardly or outwardly and have not acted on it. This is such a confirmation, because I have never looked at envy in this way before and then to get this video I know that I am on the right track. This is what I have been sharing with people in my workplace for the last few weeks and now MARIE JUST SAID IT!!! We need to listen to our emotions and what they really mean and not just the feeling to react!

  100. This was great! I went to my friends event this weekend in the ATL and it was so fantastic. I was so proud of her and what she has been able to manifest in her life and business. But I would be lying if I didn’t admit to a bit of envy. I did exactly what you said. I celebrated her success and expressed my pride and excitement for her. When I left the Big Peach state I wasn’t feeling envy anymore. So in my case celebration and admiration did lead to inspiration and anticipation for what to come ahead. My rhymin skills are as good as Marie’s but I tried :-).

  101. I love this! I have been away from MarieTV for a while and checked in to loosen up my energy. And BOOM it happened in a heartbeat. I’m a person who find it a little difficult to visual what I want to create, though I know what it is and I’m working towards it. This is a perfect tool for me. Thank you!

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Loosen up that goodness, Bente, and use it to bring your passion to life. We’re here to cheer you on. xo

  102. LOVE LOVE LOVE this video

  103. Amazing content, Marie! Keep the good work 🙂

  104. This is a good read Lisa! Congratulation on a the great work you’re doing also on your book.

  105. Alia

    Thank you, Marie. Loved this episode and planning to put your advised to use immediately.

  106. camilla

    Really Great episode! Thanks so much. You´re such an inspiration!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much, Camilla! We’re honored to have you tuning in with us 🙂

  107. I loved this video, thank you, Marie.

  108. paddy

    i loved the emulate part – take the best of what you see others are doing and copy what they are doing to make a success of yourself – thanks for the ideas!

  109. Kristina

    That was SERIOUSLY AWESOME!
    Thank you for that. Rightnow I am envious of all the super good dancers I watch on YouTube and I notice how I’ve been telling myself that there just isn’t the right scene for me here where I live to get to that level. So, I’ve decided to go to the big city for a 10 day dance holiday!
    Also, my intention is to attend more dance events that do happen here and soak up what I can get.

  110. DNN

    Adversity is nothing more than a blessing in disguise subliminally. I love it when a narcissist employer contemplates against me. Why? Hate makes the mental growth stagnate. When narcissist employers contemplate, it’s slowly and quietly increases my financial weight. Checkmate! 🙂

  111. Ginny

    Thank You – very insightful especially asking if what I am envious of aligns with my purpose and goals!

  112. Hi Marie, I loved the article and your way of writing. Video was surely impressive. Honestly, coundn’t take off my eyes from you. You have such a pleasing aura that I was in your awe. One more thing I like is your lacy top in the video.

  113. Elisa

    Great Marie, the world needs you.
    Elisa

  114. very good . thanks

  115. Very interesting. Loved the text. Congratulations!!!

  116. nice contribution.
    thanks

  117. very good . thanks

  118. Sophie

    I get that envy is a guide to show you what you’re missing in your life, but what if you can’t fill that gap in your life, what if it’s outside of your control? For example, I’m envious of people online who have friends. I don’t have any friends, and I often feel angry and lonely, and my soul aches. I try to get out there and meet new people by going to social events, but I always mess it up and come away with nothing but heartache. Perhaps I’ll make friends eventually, but it might take a decade or more. How do I cope with these dark thoughts and feelings in the meantime?

  119. Nadia Shafiei

    Marie
    I feel like I just woke up and suddenly realized I wasn’t in the right career and I was merely surviving … doing engineering for the money and then doing whatever else I can do fulfill myself after work. I feel stuck now in my own head … I don’t want to continue this career meanwhile I am sacred I will be making a mistake leaving it to figure out what I want to do. I have an idea but don’t know how to get there. Self doubt is creeping in and finances are a concern too. I just know I don’t wanna do 9-5 job and merely survive … my spirit is broken and yes I am not where I wanted to be at 36. Negative thoughts and emotions towards myself are louder than anything else. I wake up everyday and I think I should quit my job … then by the end of the day … we’ll i survived it… i don’t want to survive anymore… I want to be happy with what I do everyday when at least generally… am i wrong to think I should quit? 12 years is enough to know if you like something or if you are naturally good at it… and I’m not an engineer… it’s not my passion and I am suffering through it. I’m envious of anyone who is passionate about their job…
    Any advice?

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      Hi Nadia! Thanks for sharing a bit of your story with us. Congratulations on 12 years in your career as an engineer! Whether or not it’s the best fit for you moving forward, that’s an incredible accomplishment and something worth celebrating. It’s wonderful that you’re feeling inspired to pursue different interests and that you’re investing a lot of thought into this process. These are big, important questions and we’d love to encourage you to take as much time as you need.

      However, as Marie often reminds us, “clarity comes from engagement, not thought” so you may want to also consider finding an opportunity within your desired industry to gain some more experience. Taking a class, joining a club, or volunteering with a local organization can be great ways to learn a new skill or try out a different role. When you’re ready to make the leap into a new career, these episodes from MarieTV may provide some additional clarity and encouragement for you:

      https://www.marieforleo.com/2017/02/career-change/
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2011/06/transition-day-job-dream-business/

    • Thanks you so much!

  120. Have you found any good role models/mentors? I know I’m constantly on the lookout for those good stories.

  121. thank you
    It was very useful

  122. Oh I LOVE a bit of envy now I know it’s simply a flag to let me know I’m in the midst of something I would like for myself….and knowing that I’m half way there already by identifying that thing in the first place because if I spot it, I’ve got it!!

  123. thanks great article i share its in social network

  124. very good thank u for sharing this article

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