Marie Forleo introduction


I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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No matter what you’re focused on creating right now, I think you’ll appreciate today’s episode.

Because we’re tackling a question from a reader struggling with the daily battles of fear and self-doubt in her business. She’s wondering…

How do you keep selling your business (your products, services, ideas, mission, etc.) when you don’t feel fully confident in yourself?

Your attention’s like a flashlight. Shine it out on others, and you lose sight of your own fear. Click To Tweet

To be clear: this doesn’t just apply to business owners.

It applies to anyone who must share and express their ideas, their beliefs and their work in the world on a consistent basis.

Especially on days when your self-confidence is down in the dumps.  

Since this is something I have personal experience with, I wanted to share a little trick that serves me well.

It’s a way to genuinely work with how you feel, while still performing at your best. I think it’s a good practice to have in your self-expression tool box!

View Transcript

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

Listen Now

Once you’ve had a chance to watch, leave a comment and let me know:

  1. What specific times do you feel the most fear and self-doubt on your creative journey?
  2. What do you do to keep believing in your business (or work/project/etc.) especially during those times when you’re having a tough time believing in yourself?

Remember, share as much detail as you can.

Thousands of incredible souls come here each week for insight and inspiration and your story may give someone else the ‘aha’ they need to move powerfully ahead.

Important: share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be deleted as they come across as spammy.

Gigantic thanks for making Tuesday one of the brightest, most beautiful days the week!

With so much love and appreciation,

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Add a Comment


  1. Francesca

    THIS one of my favorite episode so far!! Really !!! I’ve to deal with all this stuff everyday. I’m a networker and now I’m expanding my business online and every time I have an appointment today.. I always feel that little voice that says “ehi ehi who do you think you are?!?” ..feeling like a rabbit in the headlight…fear and self doubt are something I have to master and use in a positive way!
    I think this episode will have a huge impact! I’ve saved it in my playlist and it’s sure I’ll keep watching it!
    Grazie Marie! Greetings from Venice, Italy!! ?

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much, Francesca — we’re so happy to hear that this episode really resonated with you today. Keep shining that flashlight out! 🙂

      • WOW Marie. THANK YOU for this episode. Definitely what I needed to hear today.

        I start to fear or doubt when I start to compare myself to others and focus on what others are doing. How I’m overcoming that is by giving myself a blog ban till the end of the month so I can let the quiet little voice inside speak up.

        I LOVE the flashlight advice, and literally just saw a video where Tony Robbins says the exact same thing. So when I’m doubting and fearing I’m going to put even more focus into my audience and my readers instead of worrying about myself.

        Thank you Marie!

        Elise xo

    • Lynn Fishman RN

      Brilliant Marie. I will pass this video on to my 15 year old daughter. This technique is so useful. Many thanks!

    • Thank-you so much really needed to hear this today – light bulb moment <3

    • Aysegul

      Dear Marie,

      It’ s very helpful. I had also self doubt moment. Thank you for sharing this great video.

      Thank you.

      Kind Regards

    • ???Can’t add more. It’s true. Don’t focus on yourself and any insecurities! Focus on the customer & what you can do FOR THEM. The customer will be happier and you will feel much better about yourself & abilities!!!☺

      • OH & YOU & YOUR TEAM ROCK!!!

        • 1 more…& it made me feel better ( poor Adele?) that she projectile vomitted from nerves, but look how Successful she is!!!

    • Marie!
      This is so true on so many levels, but of course you have coined it brilliantly, making it so relatable, and giving us some of YOU. It’s always the times that we are feeling most fearful when we are only thinking of ourselves — ever. Think about it. We become all consumed, and oftentimes are unable to even hear the words of the person speaking to us because we are responding to our body’s reaction to the fear. I always say, “come on people, it’s not about you”!!!!! Think about someone else, and put your body at ease.

      To your success!

    • THIS one of my favorite episode so far!! This episode really resonated with me and how I feel as well. It boggles my mind when I keep hearing how famous people that look so comfortable in front of the camera, stage or people still have these feeling too. All I can say is that it is normal and like you said Marie you just have to work through it by shining the light away from yourself. Thanks again.

    • Denise

      This is super. Exactly what I needed to hear–and such a simple approach. easy to remember and p r a c t i c e!

  2. OMGosh! I am totally trying this next time I have self-doubt. Fear is an unconscious self-sabotage that I feel creeping in when I’m starting to make progress and I’m not going to let it win anymore! Thanks Marie ~ you rock 🙂

  3. Wonderful message as always! Walking with my flashlight. 😉

  4. Thanks for this wonderful video, Marie! I take improv classes and it really reminds me of some of the main tools that improv uses. If you are out on the stage and freeze up, focus on taking care of the person you are on stage with. By taking care of one another, you will end up taking care of the scene and the rest will fall into place.

    I like the metaphor of a flashlight a lot. In my business I often find myself getting caught up in how much there is to do, how far I want to be (vs. how far I am), and the lack of time that there is. I find that putting focus on consistently delivering for our customers (shining that light out) is usually what bats that feeling of overwhelm away.

    Thanks for sharing, Marie!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much, Lucy 🙂 I love the similarities in improv — great tip!

    • Thanks Marie for the wonderful video’s that you have made on a regular basis without fail for so long now,and it’s amazing!!
      I am an artist and like other artists I struggle with the business concept of serving the customer with a lot of self doubt. Like most artist’s I create art
      for myself mostly not so much for a particular customer.So this concept
      really has me thinking about a business idea,and what is my business
      idea? How can I help my customer? Thanks for shining the light and
      making me realize that helping my customer is probably the only way I
      am going to turn my art business into a viable business.

      • Caroline - Team Forleo

        Thank you so much, Jane! Since you mentioned that you’re an artist, I thought I might pass along this great MarieTV episode about valuing what you do as an artist:

        I hope you enjoy checking that out for a few tips about clarifying your biz idea and reaching your customers!

    • I love your comment about focusing on taking care of the other person on stage with you! love love love it! This Q&A Tuesday message was exactly what I needed to hear today!

      • Thanks Catherine! Improv has a lot of applications, that’s for sure. And, agreed, this Q&A Tuesday was awesome.

  5. Whoooo HOOOO!! Awesome idea – my thanks for your sharing of this. So simple and concise but what a way to get your head straight on keeping your business moving forward. I think it’s also good when you want to wallow in whatever is bringing you down; you can choose to shine on yourself and continue to wallow, or turn it out and keep moving. So going to share this!! Thank you Marie!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Yay – thank you so much, Mary Jo. We’re so glad you’ll be sharing this episode! xo

  6. I totally align with this! I feel the most fear when I push that send button to release a newsletter or the buy button on Facebook ads. It hits right before! Also I take a huge deep breath in and imagine I’m in golden and purple light that expands and reaches those people that need what I have to offer. Huge! Shine that light!!!!

    • Hi Bernard,

      I love your explanation of the “golden and purple light that expands and reaches those people that need what I have to offer.” AMAZING!! I love, LOVE love that and will try to think of that next time.
      What do you do?

      Thank you!

    • Hey Bernard! Absolutely love that vision!! Hugs & kisses, Maria.

  7. I can totally relate to a lack of confidence when I first started my business! It wasn’t till I became confident in myself as well as my work that I saw success! Keeping my flashlight ON! Thank you for the reminder Marie!!!

  8. Thank you for this episode. That’s exactly what I needed these days!

  9. This was a good one!

    Fear and self doubt usually creep in EVERY time I try to up my game and play bigger (which usually means bigger time and financial investments in my business). I start to worry that my investment will be for nothing, or won’t help my business, and will be wasted or squandered. I also have this little voice that tries to tell me that I shouldn’t NEED to invest more money in my business to grow, that it should become really popular in a shorter amount of time and grow organically. As if financial help in my business means I am not doing it right or I’m trying to pump resources into a business that is just a bad business idea.

    But I realize that this is all fear-based logic, and any time I quiet that noise and seek the help I need, things start to take shape and seem way easier than I thought they would be!

    Thanks for another fantastic pep talk, Marie!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Right?? It always amazes me how things very often seem a bit easier once we actually dive in. Our brains are so good at psyching us out 😉

      Thanks for the great comment, Casey!

    • UH

      That was perfect timing – again! This was really just what I needed to hear today.
      A change of focus can make a huge difference.

  10. Geoff Riddle

    Great recommendations Marie,

    Right now I am re-reading for the umpteenth time, “The Magic of Believing” by Claude Bristol. Give it a try. Lots of other ideas to help with this feeling.

  11. this is one of my favorites.. writing a book. I thought I was done and then well you look and say the cover doesnt communicate.. forward and testimonials would be good things..Things you just didnt think of before.

  12. Marie! This was an awesome webisode. There were times when I was in that mode of self-doubt but then I turn to my “why’s”, Why I do what I do. I do it for my Family, my Friends, my Customers. I do it for anyone that needs inspiration to keep going. If I can’t believe in myself, how can I expect others to believe in me? Love your webisodes because of the little funnies you throw in but at the same time giving us some time bits on how to become successful in what we do. Thank you sincerely Marie! You inspire Me! Now it’s my turn to inspire others!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Awesome, Eddie G! We love the funnies too 🙂

  13. Hetal Mistry

    That’s a great tip. It will definitely help me with my business and everyday life! Thanks Marie!

  14. What a perfect timing … I’ve been struggling with my own insecurity even more the last couple of weeks. Yesterday when in bed I thought “What am I doing?!? I’ll never do it perfectly … what is the point in making another shitty product etc” Then shame pops out and says “hi” … well the rest of conversation happens as shown in the video 🙂 Glad I’m not THAT special hehe 🙂
    My biggest problem is when I see mistakes in the work that I’ve made. In the beginning I love it, but then after some time I see some flaws. Time goes by and I lose that connection with a piece of my work. I can’t no longer be enthusiastic about it. I stop admiring it and it shows. Then I really envy people who can sell whatever even though they are not behind a product with their heart and soul. I don’t want to be a different sort of person but I’d like to obtain that love connection with my work.
    As for “the mistakes”, I’ll use the flashlight method and focus more on what I do like about my products. Thank you for the good advice as always … wishing you and your team a Fabulous February 🙂

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much for your sweet note, and I hope you have a fabulous February too!

  15. Ona

    Awesome advice, thanks for sharing!

  16. This is a very nifty tool for shifting attention away from anxiety! As a writer and psychotherapist, how anxiety impacts creativity is one of my favourite topics. Thanks Marie!

  17. This is so useful, and I remember learning this practice with Josh.

    My fears come, yes, when I’m creating something – and my insecurities are on writing, but I have to write on a daily basis.

    What I do is relax in my body and play with the inspiration. Then all that’s left is editing, and THAT is feasible 🙂

    Thanks, Marie! xo

  18. Thanks Marie – I needed this as I move forward into this year’s BSchool and crushing BHAGs this year. Like BIG BHAGs.

    I have been taking words of advice from people like yourself and Darren Hardy early in the morning before I get working so I can start my day with some inspiration. You guys get me lit up 😀 I know that even though we haven’t met, you believe in me. So it’s sometimes all I need to shine the flashlight out again!

    Theresa Stanley
    Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Oh thank you so much for your sweet note, Theresa. We’re sending our best wishes for those BIG BHAGs, and we absolutely do believe in you 110% 🙂

  19. This episode is so timely for me! My theme for 2016 is letting go of fear. I’m sick of it! Fear is so debilitating it literally stops me from creating anything, and as an illustrator who needs to be constant and prolific and paying the bills, it’s not working for me! I even wrote a blog post about it last week.
    I’m loving the flashlight tool and will be repeating that tweetable to myself 50 times a day. Thank you!

  20. Marcy

    Yeah, this hit home in a huge way. I’m a portrait photographer and I struggle all the time with “I’m not good enough”. I woke up this morning feeling doubt over a photoshoot I had yesterday, so this topic was a welcome one for me to hear. When I do get into this negative spiral I do the work that Danielle LaPorte and Abraham Hicks teach – “how do I want to feel right now.” I focus on getting myself back into alignment with where I want to be and I try to stop focusing on the negative feelings. Not always easy!

  21. Hi Marie
    I love your videos I can’t wait Tuesday’s ?
    This was for me totally in time, because I had some winter
    Sleeping and lost all inspiration, but I guess I can not think
    About me right now more concentrate on my customers

    Thank you so much

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Oh yes — you’ve SO got this, Liene! And of course take a little time to honor those winter feelings too. I know I sometimes want to go in “hibernation” mode myself!

      Taking the time to care for ourselves can help you keep that focus on your customers and moving things forward 🙂

  22. Thank you for this Marie! We need to talk about our darkest secrets:)

    This reminds me of another great advice from someone talking about the fear of PUBLIC SPEAKING. As a speaker she thinks:


  23. Marie – I love this episode, perfect timing as usual. Shining my flashlight out is so simple and powerful and gets me right back on track! No, no to all those self doubts and lack of confidence, I’m not shining on you, I’m shining my flashlight on what I’m doing & creating with Daphne! Shining on the amazing Daphne and the people we are helping. I feel it the most when I’m not getting immediate feedback & I don’t know what is happening ‘out there’ and if the messages and offerings are getting to the right people or not. I mustn’t let doubt dig up what I’ve planted in faith. The flashlight is another great tool for my toolbox – Thank you XXX

  24. Alani Keiser

    Wow! I did not know that about Adele! I always puked before gigs and shake like a reed… I’m so glad that this is normal 🙂 Onwards upwards!

  25. Wonderful way to really make it! You are awesome in every detail. Congratulations and thank you for all your ideas and development of each one of them!!!

  26. Another awesome reminder and tool to use to get out of our own heads and share, share, share our work, our light, our ideas, and our love with the world!

    I’ve been really giving this muscle a workout over the past few months with my meditations, music, and reading.

    I actually read this morning the chapter on the Law of Giving in Deepak Chopra’s, “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”, and this tied all these ideas up together so nicely! Gotta love the synchronicity of the Universe!

    I love how your exercise gives light out to begin, while the book states “and in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.” Too often when we give to ourselves first, or ‘shine the light on ourselves’ we highlight the can’ts instead of all our cans, yet when we shine that light out into the world it’s reflected back to us in a much more positive nature – I suppose because we are part of the giving & receiving exchange that is operating at all times. As when we shine the light on ourselves, we are actually stopping the circulation of giving & receiving.

    I think that fear & self-doubt are always niggling around close-by somewhere, and they usually start to take over when I stay inside up my head too long, aka shining the light on myself constantly. So my new practice has been to take myself (my ego anyways!) out of the equation, and focus on helping, serving, and giving. There’s always someone out there that I can help. Same goes for all of us. I feel that, for the most part, we underestimate our good, our power, and our ability to make a difference. Keeping my focus on giving & being of service, and now shining the light (add this one to the list!) to anyone that crosses paths with me has been what keeps me out of my head, thoughts, fears, and self-doubt.

    I also hold the idea in my heart & head about, ‘what if my mentors didn’t show up….where would I be…?’ – and that gets me to work right away cause I know how grateful I am for others lighting up the way for me, and I am committed to paying that forward by lighting up the path for more to follow us.

    I mean it’s really beautiful if you think about it that way – one person lighting up the path for another and it can go on and on – except when one person shines the light on themselves – then the flow, circulation, forward-motion stops, ends.

    Thank you for the awesome tool for my spiritual tool belt – and the awesome sign that I’m on the right track!

    Have a beautiful day!

  27. Q: What specific times do you feel the most fear and self-doubt on your creative journey?

    A: Most definitely when I’ve created something that is so freaking awesome, real, raw, and honest, that when I get negative feedback on it, feels very personal.
    After years of this, I now know that this is actually a blessing in disguise – a beautiful indicator to my ideal clients that I’m for them …and to my non-ideal clients that I’m NOT for them. 🙂
    And it all works out exactly as it should.

    Q: What do you do to keep believing in your business (or work/project/etc.) especially during those times when you’re having a tough time believing in yourself?

    A: Turn off the noise. Unplug for 20 minutes. Meditate. Take a bath. Go for a walk. Maybe an afternoon away from my desk or more.
    I do whatever it takes to get back to me and my clarity.
    My business is a part of me and I have a rule in my business that I will not create work that comes from a negative place.
    My business is built on ethics and service, not on desperation and cutting corners.
    It’s my responsibility as CEO to be mindful of that.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Amazing insights, Melissa — thank you so much for sharing! xo

  28. Nola

    Well this was as perfect as it gets for timing today.
    This idea is “spot” on no pun intended. Starting a
    new wellness practice is a bumpy path. Light shing
    out a plus to see the way and refocus our sight
    on our work, our clients not some stale story
    our fear mind tips us off to. Great A to the Q.

  29. Marie! This could not come at a better time for new!
    The flashlight , the visual, amazing.

    Thank you and everyone else here!

  30. And by new I mean me , lol.

  31. Leah

    I love this advice. I get anxious in social situation (like networking) that I will say or do the wrong thing. If I change the attention to the people I’m talking with, my own reservations would go away. Brilliant.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Yes, Leah! It’s such a helpful technique, and definitely great for networking. Just for fun, I thought I might pass along another awesome episode with specific tips for networking — some of them are really similar to this week’s episode!

  32. Whoop! Perfect timing! I get to make a phone call today to a DREAM client and I’m flashlighting the hell out of myself! Whew…. now I get to turn that baby around and shine the light on my dream client and smile, smile, smile when I make that first call.

    Wish me luck!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Woooo! Good luck, JoJo! Let us know how it goes 🙂

      • Whoop! I made the call … to NASA! That’s right my dream client is NASA and I called them! And… I totally geeked out — which was genuine and I couldn’t help it. The long and short — great conversation and I just sent off my voice demo to them for consideration.

        We will see what happens next, but nothing would have happened without the Flashlight pointing outward!

        THANK YOU!

        • Caroline - Team Forleo

          Awesome, JoJo! And I was so excited to see you report back 😀 … and NASA? How awesome! We’ll keep our fingers crossed for you!

  33. Although pursuing my dream and running my business means I’m constantly out of my comfort zone (thank-you Marie for sharing that you face fear and doubt on a daily basis) – I think it most hits me when someone criticizes me or doesn’t get excited about what I’m doing. At those times I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that it’s not about me. I’m not doing this to become rich and famous and prove to everyone how smart I am. I’m doing this because I feel called and hope that in sharing my time, experiences, knowledge, and wisdom I will make life better for someone else. If I can just come back to center then I see the truth and fear and doubt begin to recede. For the moment anyway.

  34. As usual – always on time Marie. Getting ready to self-publish and doubt set in…and then this! By the way, do you have a camera in my brain or something LMBO!

    ♥With Gratitude & Love,
    Melinda Holden

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thanks so much, Melinda! Marie really does have a knack for nearly mind-reading 😉

  35. Joy

    1 Corinthians 2:9

  36. Absolutely love this episode!

    Those are everyone’s thoughts, its incredible, instead its all about being of service to your clients

  37. Just added “1. Buy flashlights” to my to-do list for today so I can give them to all my leadership team along with this message to SHINE OUT!

    Thanks Marie!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      YES! I love that, Tauscha!!

      • nina

        Fantastic idea

  38. My favorite episode by far! Thanks so much for sharing this! I can relate to that vomitous feeling, especially when I have to put myself out there in front of a group of people. The “flashlight” is the best way to take the attention off of that feeling that I get and put all the loving attention onto who I’m there for.

  39. Eejee

    What a SO good question!
    Thank you.
    Answer now, as un/convoluted than possible:
    Financial and peer pressure period.
    I live with a very supportive husband, but in a very conservative area. Basically: it’s ok if art is a hobby, so if I say: I’m a ceramist, or a painter, the reaction is : nice hobby, WHEN will you grow up and provide your husband support with a REAL job. I’d naturally say: but this is my real job. But you don’t make enough revenue to be on your own, so it’s not. Go back to reality… Take anything that has a real pay cheque and scheduled. That usually when the flashlight flip. Being called a burden for society, dysfunctional or other unflattering term in public or social context, repeatedly get the flashlight focused on my insecurities because yes, I sell less than I produce.
    Or when someone ask justification for why my cups are not a 1$ each?
    Or when I just thrown 3 days in a row on the wheel, have to wait 6 weeks for them to be ready to kiln, open the kiln and only 20 cups survived to bisque… I need decoy time, can’t show my face to the world.

    Once again: thank you.

    • Eejee

      Oh and my solution is similar to Mrs Opi above
      Plus: I had a lot of people expressing how in their view : I’m supposed to fail. They said they expected only failure and wish it ( do anyone really need that I repeat their litany? Because I don’t need) … That I used my spirit of contrarian. My mom always said I was born with my fist tightly closed and both my middle fingers up.
      It doesn’t come easily, I’m deeply caring, too much caring… It’s a front but yeah, I flick it. I personified the “thought” and flick it at her with the: the only way this can work is that I persist.

  40. Michelle Lundy

    When I saw the title of this video I thought, ‘Wow, she read my mind and made this just for me.’ LOL Yesterday I had some of those thoughts creep up when I approached a new store for my product and they declined. Now I’ve been watching Marie for a long time a LONG time and so I thought on the drive home what would Marie say? So I started thinking of the next store I could approach and those self-doubts just disappeared. I just want to say thank you for helping me to train myself “to be all that I can be…..and more.” THANK YOU!

  41. Jen

    Wow Marie…I woke up way early this morning and my present lack of self-confidence was so prominant in my mind. It is cosmic that this is the episode that came today. Thank you.

    I do find that where I just get ready and go to work and start doing things and treating my patients I just start to feel better. My focus goes totally into my clients and I really do just forget about my self-evaluation!

    • Your comment reminds me that self-consciousness is most easily dispelled by simply taking action. One step in front of the other. Thank you.

  42. When fear and doubt pop up for me, it tends to leave me feeling like a child. I can go from confident, well-regarded consultant in one moment to feeling sure that I’m a screw-up and that the world regards me with the same downward glances saved for kids with their hands caught in the cookie jar. Why is that? I’m not positive, but I know that one of my real challenges as a professional is that I savor and am emboldened by the positive feedback but can be sent reeling by the smallest bit of constructive or negative feedback. Each year that I’m in business, I have less fear and less doubt, so I know I’m headed in the right direction. Thanks for sharing this message and the flashlight metaphor. It’s great to know I’m not the only entrepreneur who gets caught up in her own head, and it’s helpful to have this new framework for getting through it.

  43. nina

    Love love love this simple yet straight forward advice.. You can apply this in your personal life as well… As always excellent! thank you

  44. Lourdes

    As always just what I needed!!
    Just yesterday after a meeting with my future supervisor I was told I did great, yet other fears and self-doubt issues made me guess a little later ,what if I end up dissapointing her?! Just mentioning this to my parents made us have a huge argument about why was I so negative…but I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t avoid getting this thoughts even tho I know I did well, and it was because of what you said Marie. I was so focused on my own fears that I forgot that the person who needed my best effort, my supervisor, already thought I was great for the task. In this case she was “the client”, so getting the work done to her expectations and her believes that I would do it greatly instead of engaging my mind in my insecurities was what I should’ve done!! (And save myself a uncomfortable argument with my parents).

    Thanks again Marie and thanks to your amazing team♡

  45. Your timing is perfect! For months now, I have been dragging my feet on launching the Nonprofit U, a (growing) collection of online trainings, courses, articles, videos, links, etc. designed to help nonprofits take it to the next level. Why? Because I was TERRIFIED that I’d launch it… and that no one would notice. FINALLY launched it last Thursday. Yay me!

    So… what happened? We got a few new subscribers to our newsletter. Six people started to purchase our inaugural offering, but did not complete the transaction. (And no, there are no tech problems to blame!) Was I disappointed? Feeling like a complete loser? You betcha!

    Today, however, I decided it was time to pick myself up, dust myself off and keep on keepin’ on. How? I reminded myself that it’s only been THREE days & that it’s going to take time to build momentum. I reminded myself that the content I’m creating is in response to the results from the annual survey of our tribe & TWENTY-EIGHT years of experience in the field. I reached out to two key people, shared what I was feelings and asked for (ang received!) support. I did some tapping. I had a little chat with my Inner Child. And, I watched MarieTV, which worked like magic monkey balm!

    Although Nonprofit U sales are still at ZERO, it’s not going to hold me back. Because I know that the nonprofit sector NEEDS that special awesome sauce to which I hold the secret recipe!

    Thanks for supporting all of us solopreneurs, Marie! Wouldn’t let a week go by w/o you! 😉

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      HUGE congratulations on your launch, Sarah! That’s a tremendous accomplishment in and of itself.

      I’m sorry to hear that your sales are still at zero — it can definitely take some time to build traction. It sounds like you have an amazing perspective and lots of wisdom to share, so I’m sure you’ll start to see more sales zipping in over time. Keep up the great work, and we’re cheering you on all the way!

  46. Hi Marie,

    Thank you for the amazing video! I struggle with this issue on a daily basis. I have ADHD and with it, have had both anxiety and bouts of depression. My memory is linked to my emotions, so I very literally FORGET why I’m doing what I’m doing (training clients, teaching fitness classes, building my own business/brand) on a regular basis.

    The growth of my brand (On FB and YouTube) is sooooo much slower than I ever anticipated to the point where I start believing that no one is watching, that I’m not good enough to compete with others doing the same thing, and that I am kidding myself if I believe I can get there on my own.

    What always brings me back is showing up for class prepared to give 100% to my students and clients. When I see the smiles on their faces, and they share their feelings of accomplishment, they remind me that I’ve got what it takes.

    I’m getting better at remembering on my own, but it definitely takes time to build that inner strength and confidence.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Beautiful, Nadia!

  47. GREAT video and insight…just what I needed today as I’m preparing for a big presentation tomorrow! Even tho my audience is usually under the age of 8, I worry I might scare them with the info I’m sharing (sexual abuse prevention) or they won’t understand it!! The flashlight concept is a powerful reminder that this subject needs a bright light shed on it!!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much, Linda. We’re sending best wishes for your presentation tomorrow — you got this!

  48. You look great in casual clothes, Marie. Fear and self-doubt tend to creep in when I’m launching something new. And I’m about to start a new program tomorrow, so that was a great tip. Thank you.

  49. Wow I needed this video today! I find my harshest internal critic comes out just as I’ve finished a new collection. And this is THE time I should be shining that light out on other things to sell!!!! Thank you! Also, I love your personal style if you ever need a dress I’d love to send you one 😀

  50. Devon Reid

    Hi Marie,
    Thank you for your humor which I believe is also life saving in times of doubt and fear. Humor gives so much space and allows to loosen up all those hard ego thoughts and diminishes those judgements in a second. Even though this was not part of the advice today, this was your gift to me today. xx Devon

  51. Susan

    Everyone always says they are/have 3 selves. I agree: me – is the creative one, I – am the formal one who does all the talking & writing and myself – who keeps us together & apart (when needed). I also like to say ‘ I have 2 more selves’; she – who takes over when I’m feeling less confident, because SHE can do anything and her – someone to blame – as in ‘it’s always her fault’.
    I think now I’ll try the flashlight & shine it on the product (&) the potential customer is touching – thereby taking the spotlight (& insecurities) away from me.
    Thank you for this new insight!! =>¡<=

  52. I’m a storyteller and brand message strategist, and my own message and story (the one on my About page) is all about this. I’m ALWAYS looking for new tools to add to my confidence toolbox, and since I’m pitching myself and my business to a local entrepreneur incubator on Friday (think: a panel of millionaire biz founders & elite biz school professors) and I will be using this technique like WOAH.

    It took me a LONG time to learn that “faking” confidence—allowing myself to take on a job I didn’t feel quite ready for, saying yes to a scary opportunity, signing up as an expert when nobody else in the world told me I was an expert—is actually the only way to have the experiences that engender real confidence.

    There isn’t some secret club full of confident rockstars who never have self-doubt or bad hair days… We’re all just people feeling remarkably similar feelings, living the same angsts and concerns, and managing as best we can with the fear of creative self-expression—trading security for the promise of feeling alive. Personally, I wouldn’t have it any other way. <3

  53. Hi Marie…YOU ROCK!
    Always great insight…and so much fun! Thanks for sharing your special gift. I’d better shine out and share my gift too.
    Thank you.

  54. I’ve cold called over 38,000 folks for reasons ranging from sales, entrepreneur, community activism and personal projects. I’ve spoken to CEO’s, politicians, celebrities, authors, scientists, investors, etc…and I can attest to Marie’s point that moments of fear / self-doubt never go away. In fact, if they did – that would tell me it’s time to stop. Because if I don’t move through fear, at least a little, I don’t feel like I’m really learning anything….or more importantly, that I’m not sacrificing anything in the true sense. Which means I’m not giving anything of myself.

    Beyond Marie’s super important point to focus outward instead of on oneself, I’d ad that it can be very helpful to focus the mind on the “why” behind you contacting someone. Asking this simple question helps keep me honest and clear about my intention, which goes a long way to keep my out of my ego.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Great insights, Robin — thank you SO much for sharing 🙂

  55. Thank you so much for this episode Marie! Your timing is impeccable as always. I’ve been struggling with fear and believing in myself when it comes to writing. I feel most afraid if I’m going to reveal something deeply personal about myself. Oftentimes I have to take long breaks from particularly challenging pieces, but I always come back, and 99% of the time I am met with love once the piece is shared. Reminding myself of that love keeps me coming back to my work no matter what!

  56. Doug

    Great episode, and timely!
    A main time I feel the most fear and self-doubt is when I am prospecting – contacting people to set up a meeting to speak about my business. Sometimes I just get paralyzed, which looks like surfing the web for things I don’t really need to look at.

    A few things help at those times. One is to take a few conscious breaths, focusing on the inhale and exhale. That seems to break the fear. Another is to focus on the spot on my forehead between my eyebrows instead of letting my mind wander into bad neighborhoods. And, as you say, focusing on my client and how great they are and how much I appreciate them.

    Keep up the good work!!!

  57. Pamela

    This episode came up at the perfect time. I am in the middle of feeling extreme anxiety and fear around building my website. I cannot find a web developer that is reliable and building the website myself is not the way to go for me. It would drain me and then I would be burnt out by the time I’m ready to launch my business. I know from experience I need help in this area. I will keep on shinning that flashlight and push through this and would be grateful for any advice you might have in this area.

    Thank you!!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Hi Pamela, thank you so much for tuning in this week. First of all, you SO got this, and as Marie always says, “everything is figureoutable!”

      Since you’re looking for a good web developer, I thought I might pass along this MarieTV episode with a few tips for hiring someone for your business (as an employee or contractor):

      Getting clear on what you’re looking for specifically can be really helpful too. Such as, do you need a very simple website to start? Do you need someone to build only certain parts that you can’t do, or someone to manage your entire site? Sitting down with a notebook and writing down what specifically you need for your site can help you find the right person when you’re searching for a good web developer.

      I hope that helps, and know that we’re cheering you on!

  58. Tiffany S

    This is a very good question. I seem to live in a constant state of fear and doubt recently but I think this could be because I am in a rut and am trying to dig myself out. So I guess you can say it pops up for me when I am in an unbalanced state, where negativity is trying to take the steering wheel in my life and send me down the wrong path.

    What am I doing to get past it?

    First off everyone deals with things and situations differently, some are quicker out of the gate then other. My current lull is taking a bit of time to swim out of but the below are things that help me to get there quicker.

    I liked what Marie said about putting your focus on someone or something else, I think this definitely helps when you don’t have just yourself to focus on and you can put that energy elsewhere as you are less likely to self-destroy.

    What I find always helps me is to surround myself with a network of positive friends that give me a energy boost just being in their presence.
    It also helps getting things off of your mind by talking them out with someone who will not judge and can give some solid feedback. Sometimes just hearing yourself say what your feeling can put things into perspective.

    Never compare! This one is a difficult one for me because you will always find people more talented or more successful but they are not you. You have to find a way to believe in yourself.

    I also think taking a few days away from social media by detoxing your system and doing a bit of meditation or yoga can reset your energy levels and get you back into a healthy mindset.

    On that note, thanks Marie for always providing some interesting Q&A’s and for being you!


  59. Hi Marie,

    This is so helpful and fantastic. I am an artist by trade- not a singer, but they both require an almost egomanical level of self promotion which can make me uncomfortable.

    A few years ago I was singing in front of a crowd. I’ve done a LOT of performing and still get my stomach in knots every time. Well, this time I decided that it wasn’t ME performing for THEM. That was a scenario where they would be judging and criticizing me. Instead I decided that WE were all in this together and I was sharing/ offering a song with them.

    It made it easy for me to make eye contact with the audience and BREATHE (something that’s incredibly hard to do when you are scared).

    It’s so easy (and SO detremental) to think that it’s us against the world, but that’s not helping anyone- in fact it’s hobbling us and blocking our gifts.

    Hooray for what you do!!! SO glad I subscribed to your awesome content!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much, Karen. We’re so glad you subscribed too! xo

  60. This was great.
    I feel the most fear when I’m doing something I haven’t done before. For instance, I’m moving my practice from one-on-one services to teaching/guiding via webinar and forum…so I did my first webinar last month, after having the intention to do one for A YEAR.

    What I did: I realized my fear was because I had never done it before.
    So I broke it down. What am I actually DOING? Talking to parents?

    Heck, I do that all the time. That’s what I do. So even though I can’t see their faces, and some of them I don’t even know (most of them), I’m still just dorky li’l me talking to parents in the way I do (which makes them feel like good parents wanting to learn more).

    So I just DID it. Also, I wrote it all out, I didn’t just wing it. I didn’t want to get tripped up by loss of thought or “ums” and “likes” and “y’knows” so wrote it out as if it was me talking.

    It went smoothly and I can’t believe I waited so long to do one. I’ve got my second webinar coming up on Friday.


    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      That’s so awesome, Dylan! Congratulations on your first webinar, and we’re sending best wishes for your second one this Friday too! 😀 Big high fives.

  61. Stewart

    Thanks for the sage advice Marie. I’ll skip the PV but knowing I can deal with any fears and self-doubts by taking the focus off myself and refocus on the people I want to contribute to and help make their lives better.

  62. Marie and team Forlio,
    So, I’m standing in the bathroom this morning drying my hair and think, hey, I’ll multi-task and watch Q&A Tuesday with Marie…BAM! Exactly the message I needed to hear before a big client meeting today. Flashlight redirect! (Tweet that!)

    Big thanks for showing up, opening up and helping us shift UP every week! Always polished and funny as hell!

    Big love,

    • And it would be so helpful if I spelled Forleo correctly! 😉

      • All good Allison and good luck with your meeting today!

  63. Best one yet!!! Perfect image to project the light out and focus on creating instead of fearing. Thank you again for insight and encouragement.

  64. I loved this tip, Marie!

    It’s a real challenge to stay confident when you’re creating something you know is important. And this one simple tip makes sense in those times.

    For me the real challenge is to remember to stop and be mindful about my fear rather than focus on my own skills and “can’t” and keep pushing myself.

    Going to try this out though and let you all know how it works 🙂

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Antoniya, yes! Please do let us know how it goes — we’d love to hear!

  65. Gio

    WoW! I so needed THIS! It makes perfect sense and is seriously going to help in my future! Thanks a million!

  66. Wow I so needed to hear this today. I just started my own business and am in fear mode about whether my beginning success will continue, whether my classes will fill and if I will make money.. But, I can shine my light on coming up with a new product for a private party coming up soon instead of shining so much light on the fear. Thanks Marie!

  67. Carol Mashburn

    Timing is everything!!! Voices in my head are speaking self doubt and insecurity. That flashlight has just become my sword! Going to slay those thoughts!

  68. Wow! This really opened my eyes to what is exactly true. I defenetly needed this wake up call!

    Thanks Marie!

  69. Jana Brsenden

    The time I feel the most self-doubt is every time I sit down to create or share something new/vulnerable to my blog. Like Steven Pressfield says…this is the War of Art. In fact, I just did a google search to be sure I gave credit correctly and noticed there are a bunch of memes with some of his best quotables. “The more important an activity is to your soul’s evolution – the more fear you will feel” I’m going to print it out right now and tape it to the wall directly above my computer to remind me to FEEL the fear and then GO FOR IT anyway!

  70. Oh oh oh I am gonna use the flashlight method the next time I have to speak in public or introduce myself to a large crowd.
    I get soooo nervous that I cant enjoy myself and feel like I cant deliver and serve whoever is listening. I have always felt like I am making it too much about me but I had no proper tool to turn it around.
    The flashlight is brilliant. What a great, practical, clear tool! Thank you sooo much for sharing, Marie

  71. As an artist and speaker I resonate with this so much. That flashlight illustration will help me a great deal. It’s so true how often the struggle to battle through and shine the light on someone or something else. Than you Marie, these weekly updates give me a huge bump in my steps to destiny and seeing my dreams come true! I will keep shining – you too!

  72. What a great video, very refreshing way to look at fear and self-doubt. I usually deal with fear whenever I’m creating something new in my business. The way I like to deal with it is by reminding of myself of all the times in the past that I faced my fears and stepped out of my comfort zone. The results were always amazing, I always grew as a person and never ever regretted doing what scared me. I use this reminder to keep going and never stopping to have new experiences 🙂

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Thrilled to hear that, Marta!

  73. Thank you Marie – this was so helpful! I’m a new follower and have learned so much already from your shared wealth of knowledge.

    I often feel fear right after releasing a new product. Did they like it? Or if the response is dry…they must hate it. Truly, I can’t expect everything I churn out to be a winner. That would be impossible.

    I keep on keeping on though, because I have customers that KEEP COMING BACK. So I figure, even though my products may not appeal to everyone (again, the impossible), I must be doing something right. Instead I try to focus on what is selling and improve upon that, to better understand the needs of my customers. And then I pat myself on the back for trying, because not everyone has the guts to bare their creativity for the world to see.

  74. Yes! I’m totally going to shine my flashlight on the audience at my speaking engagement this week.

  75. Oh my goodness, I am laughing so hard right now. And yesterday was one of those days where I was thinking “I need me some Marie”, because I was down in the dumps about a work problem. I was trying to tell myself some of my success stories to boost myself up but today was a winner! Thank you, Marie. (and the music at the beginning of your Marie TV always makes me happy, is that weird?)

    • NOT weird at all Mary Beth. We love that little tune, too 🙂

  76. Wanda Bowing

    For me it’s never the creative process. Fear tends to rear its lovely head when it has to do with self-responsibility in being, or doing, grown up work. Work that requires me to be responsible for myself–financially or in terms of protecting myself in some way.

  77. Tiff

    I was just struggling with this yesterday. I was so nervous about sharing my work I almost didn’t put it out there. Something I’m trying to do is once I post it on Instagram/social media I turn my phone off. I will drive myself crazy checking for likes & comments. It’s easier to just ignore it and come back later.

  78. THANK YOU!
    I jumped right up and dug through the junk drawer for that mini flashlight keychain I knew I had buried somewhere. I put it on my keyring as a constant reminder of today’s tweetable/tip.

    Everyday I struggle with fear and work performance anxiety. Your words are going to stick with me, I know it! I’m going to “redirect” the time I’m spending on self doubt towards making sure I’m “directing” my attention to the other person or project.

    Thanks again,

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Beautiful, Barbara! Keep us posted on how it’s going.

  79. Marie:
    Loved it! There is great wisdom in your message today, and it totally jibes with my Judeo-Christian ethics. Changing my focus onto others is not only loving, but who knew it could also help with internal thought battles as well.

  80. This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank-you!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Thank you for letting us know, Mary. We love that this met your needs today.

  81. This is indeed a great topic and one that we don’t hear very often, although everyone feels the same way at a certain point or another in life and business.

    I feel fearful when I feel alone, stuck and outside of my comfort zone.

    What I do is I take time to take good care of myself, and I make efforts to reconnect with nature’s rhythm, I take a step back to look at things from a different perspective.
    I also keep going, doing ‘the best I can with what I have’, and eventually everything falls back into place.

    We all do need those moments ‘off’, when we can regroup, reevaluate, rest, contemplate, move according to our essential internal ‘natural’ pace. However, in our western modern society, taking ‘time off’ or ‘taking our time’ is not readily ‘acceptable’. So, we keep going on stumbling over our toes or over the events and people around us, and, what’s worse, we think it’s only happening to each of us.

    It is fabulous, Marie, that you are bringing the perspective of our shared humanity in this episode, and shining your flashlight in the fact that we are not alone and we are all together in this journey on this planet.
    Thank you!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Love what you shared, Renata and totally agree that taking pause to re-evaluate is super important.

      Elizabeth Gilbert shared a great perspective on dealing with fear when you’re creating or doing something new in life, in her interview with Marie a few weeks back. In case you didn’t catch that one, I’ll put the link below as I think you’ll love it.

      • This is, indeed, a fabulous episode.
        Thank you so much for suggesting it, Chelsea!
        Many blessings…

  82. Panto Thenic

    Great episode. Love the technique.

  83. Well, this video´s helped me a lot to face my next performance as Master Coach. I am going to produce, teach and perform during a course called ” O poder da ação” (“The power of action”). I am Brazilian from Santo André and I am happy about myself actions, because I ´ve developed confidence during these 6 last months and now I have my business and I am crating a new products for women.


  84. Deborah

    Thank you for the reminder Marie.
    In moments when I have self doubts, you’re right. It’s about them not you.
    Always stay with the client then all else fades away.
    I like the flashlight imagery – will use next time in my mind.

  85. Marianne

    Excellent message – thanks for sharing – I can SO use this!!

  86. cat

    So needed this. Nothing to add, just definitely taking this away.

  87. Cathy Hull

    I do bookkeeping for small businesses so you know right now is very busy for me getting all their paperwork ready for the CPA!!! I loose my confidence when I’ve made mistakes. Whether they are big or small, I feel like crawling in a hole! I know no one is perfect! Some of the mistakes are made because I’m starting out with a new client and I am given this huge box of papers they want done yesterday! Yes people actually do file their paperwork that way!! How do I turn the flashlight away from me (Oh I’m such a screw up – Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this anymore – etc) to my client and/or their CPA?

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Cathy, I totally get that feeling, especially when making mistakes. You’re not alone. It really sounds like you’re doing your best given the timing and other factors involved so it may be important for you to internally recognize that for yourself. Doing your best doesn’t mean the same thing as perfection.

      Turning the flashlight away from yourself in this case might be about thinking of what a mess your customer’s receipts and file keeping might be when they come to you, and how you’re absolutely there to provide a service around getting them organized. When you think of how overwhelming it is for the vast majority of business owners to get their paperwork ready for a CPA, you really are stepping in to take a huge load off for them. And that’s what it’s about! Your knowledge and expertise taking over, and calming their nerves while also getting an integral job done. This doesn’t mean you never make mistakes or can be asked to do the impossible with a huge file getting done yesterday, but hopefully it does make you excited about lightening that load for your customers.

      I hope these ideas from the episode today help! There are also some other links above, in the written portion of the blog, to other episodes on fear and self-doubt, and I think you’d love those too.

  88. Alyssa

    Thank you so much for this one Marie! I know in my business I actually struggle with talking to people and especially leading them to see how I can help them! But that initial contact and building relationships has always been tough for me. Especially when they don’t seem to be interested in doing that. I will definitely keep this in mind and focus more on them and their needs over my fear of how to get to it.

  89. LOVE this — such a simple yet powerful visual metaphor that I might even be able to remember next time I get caught up in all that yucky ego-personality-worry crap.

    Thanks, Marie!

  90. Marie – Right on, girlfriend! Love the episode. I am a Chief Confidence Officer fueling a life and business I love! Always striving to pay it forward, I’d love to offer your audience some science and research behind how to condition confidence. I’ve deep dived into it and present/write about it with a community of neuroscientists, executive coaches, and other high performance gurus.

    Always great episodes but this one sings my fav song! Hoping we can inspire more confidence together.

    Chief Confidence Officer, American Confidence Institute
    Author & Speaker, “Kickass Confidence: Own Your Brain. Up Your Game.”

  91. Hi
    I struggle after I’ve had the initial conversation with someone, especially when you haven’t had time to build a relationship with them, to do the follow up, I send them a text or a call they don’t respond, the fear sets in, I’m being pushy, they don’t want to say no, so they’re avoiding. Behind all of that I know it is a story I make up in my head, I battle between knowing how to make the next move and being respectful, yet knowing with every core of my being that what I have to offer them will be life changing.

  92. Kim

    Maria Forleo is an inspirator for me. This video, I’m sure, gonna produce great result in my activities. Be happy, be happy Marie and your followers!

  93. When I lose my belief in myself, I turn the flashlight on the smart, wonderful people I partner with to create my delegation courses and outsourcing products.

    Those folks are high caliber, so if they trust me to do a great job, I know I can trust me, too. (They can’t all be wrong 🙂 ) I close my eyes and replay their compliments and words of support to calm me. Before you know it, I’m feeling like my kickass & take names self again.

    Hang with an inspiring, respectufl, supportive group and you’ll see that reflected back in you.

  94. Christine

    Hi Marie. Awesome episode as usual. One of the things I’ve been working on is reminders. I start to clench up with fear and doubt and I start reminding myself of why I am in this situation in the first place. What is the primary objective? I am a graduate of IIN and when you are working one on one with a client, there is simply no place to hide! So, I remind myself that even if I don’t have every single scientific fact at the tip of my tongue, I set out to be a blessing to others. As my son told me, “Mom you are a professional encourager”. Sometimes it is just the encouragement I need as well. Peace and love to you!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      LOVE that — your son is so smart, and so right on. XOXO

  95. Great episode Marie. I love how you are creating a realistic and healthy culture around women in business that is not only achievable but deeply rewarding. Too long have women put tremendous amounts of pressure on themselves, which can only bring the fears to the forefront. Here is to kicking fear into the back seat while us ladies take back the keys to the convertible…and lets put the top down to!! Live life in full bloom and thank you so much for all that you are and all that you do for spreading the good stuff.

  96. Rivky

    Thanku Thanku!!! As always love love all ur videos
    This is awesome!! Now I know I don’t have to wait for the fear to go away, before doing what I feel is the right thing

  97. oliver

    Feelings of fear and self doubt usually arise at the thougth of having to start work on a new task or goal.

    To squander some of those feelings of fear and doubt I often ask:
    1. Why did I start this task or goal in the first place?
    2. Is the task or goal brought about by my own-doing?
    3. What is the long-term impact of not confronting and attacking this
    task or goal?

  98. Vel

    Great!! I freeze in the mornings. Almost now to the point of not working out first. Help…am i afraid if success or failure. How did I get here???

  99. Sonali Surve

    Hi Marie,

    First of all thank you very much for this video. Always love your work.
    Now, about todays discussion. In my business , I do all the marketing and sometimes people are really mean and disrespectful. Very easy to get discouraged, but my technique is extremely simple. I always say to myself “Look at the big picture” .. This is just small setback … “When going gets tough… the tough gets going” ..couple of these few lines I always keep with me in my purse .. I start reading them whenever I have self-doubts..
    It helps me put the focus back on “Big picture” instead of the small setback or issues I might be having , It has always helped me focus on Big game and work harder.
    Now, whenever(very rarely) I am bit discouraged or doubtful my 10 year old son will hug me and say “Mom, close your eyes, look at the big picture. You own a company. You are helping people eat healthy….” all the good stuff I have dreamt of .. And Viola!!!! Off goes my self-doubts and uncertainty. I get supercharged and back to my business, literally 🙂


  100. Marie, I busted out laughing at the “me or you, me or you, me or you?” flashlight scene. You sounded crazy, in a funny way, and then the “who just vomited?” was the cherry on top. Hahaha. Thank you for making me laugh and teaching me valuable lessons at the same time. You’ve been one of my top mentors for the past year and I’ve learned so much from you as I’ve started my own life coaching business. Your contribution to others is truly massive and extraordinary. Let me know if there is any way I can ever help you in your mission. Thank you! -Wasi

  101. I was telling my 13 y.o. daughter this exactly piece of wisdom this morning as we were folding clothes. 🙂

  102. I feel the most fear and self-doubt when I get a great idea, I follow up on it, people seem really interested and then … nothing. Crickets.

    To keep believing in myself, I go to Marie TV, and watch a few episodes listed under Fear and Self-doubt. 🙂

  103. Christin

    As always right in time. A few days ago I was just seconds away from locking up my practice for good due to self-defeating fears. Oh boy, so much pain.
    Just too many “what ifs”. What if I’ll never gonna make it? What if I am just not good enough? What if people find out that I am just a joke? What if my patients don’t make any progress? Once a patient turns down the therapy, I feel like a total loser, not able to evaluate that this can be for many other reasons, too. Tomorrow I’ll by a torch. 😉

  104. Anna Matthews

    Love it Marie, thank you. My husband and I started a band last year, and our first performance was last Saturday. I was so nervous that I felt like I wasn’t standing on the ground, kind of floating in an awkward way. The lights were blinding and I couldn’t see the audience. All lights on me, everyone can see me, I can’t see them. Deer caught in the headlights. SO AWKWARD! Just thinking of them, however, made me feel more grounded, knowing they were wanting to see and hear something uplifting, something emotional and moving. Music that would make them feel. So I tried to focus on that and it pulled me through. People came up afterwards telling me which song was their favorite, what it meaned to them and made humbling comparisons to some of my favorite artists. As I put together my website, and social media etc I want to keep this attitude at the forefront, to make it a relationship with the listener. I can’t wait to do B School this year with you Marie.

  105. Francesca

    When I feel in self-doubt usually I try to sing in my head some motivational songs and I check my posture or put in some makeup or perfume. It help me when I go to places where I will meet new people.

  106. Yes! So true. This popped up for me like crazy every time I went to hit the “Start Broadcast” button on Periscope. Doing this practice has helped me immensely. There’s another layer to the flashlight analogy. If people say things like, “You suck,” “You’re dumb,” “You’re fat,” or whatever (things people sometimes fear hearing,) if they are in the spotlight then you can see how they are projecting their own self-hatred onto you. It has nothing to do with you so, don’t take it personally.

  107. Gayle

    Marie…This one tool can change a pond scrum moment to “I am the answer to my client’s needs and have or can find every solution”. Wow! My flashlight never has to run out of batteries if I run on solar!

    What I have practiced that gets me through those I’m in a pit and don’t know how to climb out moments is reminding myself that I have done everything humanly possible to prepare and now it is God’s turn. Doesn’t matter if I fell or was pushed into the pit, I don’t have to furnish it. When I have released it to God, the results have been amazing. The puzzling part is why I can’t remember that each time until I get to no other way!

    I will now carry the flashlight and remember to ask God to keep it shining out and about instead of on those gremlins waiting to take me down.

    Thank you for all your insights, generous giving and sharing. YOU shine out – YO!


  108. Wow. This is just what I needed to hear today. My self-confidence hit a wall receintly and it is almost like you read my mind and created this video just for me. 🙂 Thank you!

  109. Oh you are just AMAZING. Today’s tip was right on!! I am a professional artist, I come to my studio every day to make the “magic’ as I call it. But these last few days I haven’t been feeling so confident. I will practice what you suggested today in my head & repeat it until I becomes a habit.
    When I get super-stuck I go where my curiosity lies- that was from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book ‘Big Magic’, if you haven’t read it, listen to it on Audible- that’s even better. Thank you Marie- you are an ANGEL.

  110. Amazing, as always 🙂

    I had heard people mention a technique that you and Josh taught about feeling fear.

    Do you have a video on that somewhere? I have a hard time feeling in my body sometimes…If that makes sense. All fear based icky stuff.

  111. Thanks Marie! Simple, elegant and powerful advice, as usual. Love the metaphore of my little flashlight. Thanks and love to you and your team.


  112. Thanks Marie for this and every episode! I find them truly inspiring…Self doubt and fear are the two things that make me freeze the most, but through this technic and the exercise of believing in myself I´ll jump into my dream job as a freelancer! This year resolution is to work on getting clients, step by step! and finally quit my daily job.
    That´s where my flashlight it´s pointing to now!
    Thanks Clara from Buenos Aires

  113. Ang

    Great, GREAT reminder!!! I have to remember this video and incorporate this practice into my daily life.

  114. 1. I usually have self-doubt right as I’m finishing up a product or presentation. I start to question all the decisions I made when I first set out on the project and start to wonder if I have time to start over from scratch.

    2. When this happens I step back from my project and remind myself that if i thought it was a good idea when I started and all the way through ’til now, then it must be worth seeing to the end. It’s almost never worth start over, if the project is right at the end. I also remind myself that, as a creative person, there will be another project to do and I will always have another opportunity to implement my new ideas next time around.

    Thank you so much Marie! I’ve been watching almost every week for 2 years and sometimes it’s almost spooky how well timed your videos are.

  115. Dear Marie,
    Last week I was missing Marie TV with your positive energy.

    What do I do when I feel insecure and full of self-doubt? I go to watch some empowering videos or put on the headphones and listen to brainwave
    subliminal mp3’s.

    Also I like to recap how much have I learned and achieved since I started with this online thing – it helps me realize that I am still moving forward.

    And than I go to work on my stuff, it gives me focus and peace and takes
    the crazy thoughts out of my head.

    Peace & Love,
    Vera 🙂

  116. Alanna

    Hi Marie and Team!
    May I ask a question which has really hit home of recent and is almost the reverse of your recent message?
    How do I overcome the fear of success? Has anyone else found that is their hurdle in personal or professional orientated decisions? I’ve recently learnt my subconscious attaches success to negative childhood experiences. Any tips how to overcome this? Thanks everyone!!
    Alanna 🙂

    • Alanna, we got you covered here….teaches you exactly how to overcome that fear of success.

      • Alanna

        Oh thank you SO MUCH!!! So appreciate it Marie!!!
        Huge thank you for all the amazing work you do for myself and the rest of this community who is inspired by your work every day!!
        Warmest wishes and sincerest gratitude!

        Alanna xx

  117. Love this idea, I think it’s going to help me a lot. My fear and self doubt come up around telling people my rates for coaching or consulting. I was an educational coach working for a nonprofit so my teacher clients were assigned to me and I was paid a salary. Now that I am starting my own business I am working directly with clients and have to market and sell my services. I’m finding it more challenging than I expected especially when it comes to the money! I’m pissed at myself for being so weird/uncomfortable about the money part.

    Unfortunately, I’ve been dealing with this in a totally unsustainable way, I just trade or give away my services. Seriously. The testimonials from my “clients” are helping me see that there is value in what I am doing also when people insist on paying me, that helps me see that my work is valued. I’m surprised about how lame I have been in this area. I’m going to see if turning the flashlight out helps me start running a sustainable business. Thank you Marie!

  118. I may be the 100th person screaming YES in the comments.

    Believe it or not, I was just thinking about this today when I was thinking about upcoming interviews and client calls. I do this with work, too, the more I do the work, the less time I have to think about being insecure.

    However, the latter can backfire. A conversation for another time.

    Cheers, Marie, team, and family. 🙂

  119. One of your best episodes yet! My consulting career ramped up when I figured this one out. Fear? Sure, a traveling companion in need of regular, loving reassurance. The client is fearful too, wondering if this fix she’s shelling out cash for is going to work or be a waste of money. So turning on that flashlight and pointing it toward the client’s needs is a terrific metaphor and easy to remember.

    • Thanks for this insight on the flip side Cathryn-really crucial to remember the very human vulnerability of our clients too-

  120. Thank you so much for this Marie. Fear and self-doubt have plagued me all my life and I’ve been going through a deep dark time with that blackness. You are right of course–think about those people I want to reach rather that why I think I can’t reach them. Ready to roll!

  121. This is SO on time. I don’t miss any episodes of MarieTV, and they are always chock full o’insight, humor and inspiration and tools. This one really nailed my moment, yet another morning of awakening to a brain attack of doubt and sabotage. Getting out of bed feels like an act of uncommon valor! The flashlight is true-as soon as I can get it pointing outward, to who/what I’m serving and grateful for, it lightens up. This is still a journey, I’m a beginner and feeling a lot of self-judgement about this-but I’m walking the path. Thanks Marie, and Team MF and community-looking forward to picking up on B-School again too. Never too late to learn, to try again. Cheers Regina

  122. Maria Stenvinkel

    Awesome awesome video Marie!

  123. Thanks, Marie, for this sweet reminder! Fear and doubt often creep in when I’m ON to something really cool & ready to break through to a new level in my business. My remedy, much like yours is asking myself, “What can I contribute right now?” to something, someone, myself, my body, my business, my clients . . . anything or anyone . . . even my dogs or cat!

  124. Laurie

    I have to honestly say that I didn’t want to hear that the fear doesn’t go away. I thought I could “evolve” past it! Now I know I’m just like everyone else. A few months ago I got Doreen Virtue’s oracle cards and when I am nervous before a client comes, I pick a card. It always works! I specifically use the Mother Mary Queen of Angels cards as these cards address worries and concerns. My theory is that they transform lower egoic thoughts into higher divine thoughts. Give them a try!

  125. Laurel Pourboghrat

    Hi Marie! I have been following you for quite some time now (Ha – that sounds a little creepy, but you know what I mean!) and I always enjoy your little videos. You are beautiful, funny, upbeat, and have a lot of great content to deliver. Plus, I love your fashion sense! Anyway, I never commented or Liked before, dunno why, but thought today I would and let you know how great you are and how much I appreciate all that you do! Have a great day and keep ’em coming!

  126. Oh My Gosh!! First a team call this morning and now Marie’s amazingness!! Both teaching about how to shine your light! Must Be A Sign. Stepping up my game and finding how and where to shine the light I want to grow. Thanks Marie!!

  127. Hi Marie
    This is such a big one for me, as it seems to be for a lot of people. (So glad I’m not alone with this) The flash light really puts it into perspective.
    Thank you so much.

  128. Bree

    This was a brilliant episode. I was introduced to this technique when I started facilitating rooms & speaking. It works!! Pointing the flashlight on them dims the fear & I have also found I am more true, authentic and in the moment. Which brings exception value to my audiences. Thanks Marie for sharing this awesome tip!

  129. Wow! Perfect timing — I really needed this today.

    I make my living selling my art work. Some days it’s great – some days I deal with a feeling of crippling doubt, and today was one of those days.

    My answer for today? Watch a spot on episode of Marie TV, realize I am not alone in my fears, and focus that flashlight on new work.

    Thanks Marie!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Yes, love that!

  130. This is brilliant, being able to visualise that energy in a sort of physical object (flashlight) makes so much sense. This tip is going to be very helpful.

  131. Csilla

    Dear Marie, thank you for sharing this mind-blowing approach towards challenges in life. I just got my first professional job a month ago while I still got to complete my master thesis and obtain a French language certificate in order to graduate from university officially. It’s a lot to handle at the same time: at work I feel like a complete rookie, when I’m researching for my thesis, I feel like I’ve got no idea what I’m doing, and when I’m studying French, I feel like I’m nowehere near mastering that language. Although these have nothing to do with running a business or having creative endeavors (although my thesis is about art history, so it’s partly creative), your flashlight method made me realize, instead of worrying about what I can’t do or what I’m not mastering yet, I can direct my attention on the task I have to do. Actually, the first month at my job, my hands were so full during the day, that I didn’t have time to feel scared or embarrassed for being a rookie, only in the mornings before work started and in the evenings at home. So you are right, once I got busy focusing on my tasks, my anxious thoughts disappeared completely 🙂 I’m going to apply your method on my thesis and French as well: I’ll direct my attention on how exciting my research topic is and on the joy of learning a new language! I love your work, Marie!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Csilla, that’s a great way to use the wisdom in this video and apply it to where you are and the needs you have. You can direct that flashlight and focus in each and every moment on only the task at hand.

      Thank you for your kind words!

    • Chère amie,
      Je suis sûre que ton français est super ! Bonne chance pour ton travail et des gros bisous depuis la France 🙂

      • Csilla

        Chère Cécile,

        Merci pour ta gentille réponse à mon commentaire! J’étais tellement heureuse quand j’ai vue que quelqu’un m’a écrit en français.

        Merci beaucoup pour l’encouragement 🙂

        Salutations de la Hongrie!

  132. LOVE IT! I write, speak and work with women on building their confidence AND I find that they all think that having confidence is something that is consistent. I talk a lot about how it is an ever changing entity and something that you need to be armed with techniques for, when the fear and doubt monster rises!!

    SO encouraging to hear you say, Marie, that you feel doubt and fear all the time also! Helps make us all feel ‘normal’!! Fear and doubt are not the problem…it’s about how you MANAGE fear and doubt.

  133. Today, the chapter in a book I am reading had a focus on a flashlight, at tennis, I overheard the pro on the next court talking about holding the racquet like a flashlight, and at yoga, the instructor mentioned picturing the beam of a flashlight in one of the poses (it’s my day off and I filled it with things I love…it was a GOOD day!) and then I opened my email and here’s a flashlight metaphor…again! I often have to be hit over the head with something before it sinks in, but the universe was trying to make sure you would be the one to hit me over the head today, Marie. I LOVE the idea of shining my flashlight out instead of in. I developed anxiety over the past few years, and I truly think this will help with the nagging remnants of it that linger. I just published a book–a devotional–and I lose my confidence because I don’t feel like an expert in the field of faith/religion/spirituality. But the thing is, my book is for people like me, who feel a little bit like outsiders looking in…and in THAT, I have the expertise to help people. But I still feel a bit like a poser and have been skirting the marketing I should be doing because of those underlying feelings of inadequacy. When you interviewed Elizabeth Gilbert, she said that her magic comes from creating her books, not in selling them, and that has helped me a lot. My joy is had in the creating, and no one can take that away from me, and I try to remind myself of that when I start to feel less than. And now I’ll also be able to whip out my flashlight!! xoxo

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Beautiful share, Abby. I love what you wrote, and the flashlight theme all around you. Keep on creating. xoxo

  134. Kathleen

    Your timing, as always, is impeccable!!! I’ve been getting the feedback recently of “where did all your confidence go???” and realized today I’m so worried about what others will think that I’m not present with what I’m doing or why I’m doing it. You’re analogy is perfect and now when I feel those nags of self doubt I’ll be sure to ask myself where my light is shining. Thank you Marie!!!

  135. Dulce

    I really love this episode Marie! It’s so spot on! I’m actually on my way of building my own business and at some point, I feel that I’m not gonna succeed in this. But, I just focus on the positive things that this venture will bring. I “feed” on the great things ahead and throw out of the window those that drag me down. Focus!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Dulce, what an exciting place you’re in! We’ve got some free B-School trainings coming out soon as part of our launch, and I think you’re going to love them! They have a way of getting you all fired up about your business and dreams. 🙂

  136. Well, if I wasn’t just sharing with my Mastermind Sisters that confidence is a regular visitor for me! I love this flashlight strategy, Marie! It’s so true…and I can so easily see how I’ll provide even better service to my clients in the moment. And it was so refreshing to be reminded that I’m not alone in this feeling!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Yes, Cristin! You’re so not alone in that feeling.

  137. This is such a stellar episode, Marie et Team! I love it that you always come up with analogies that are super easy to visualize and put to use. This is seriously one of the best ones I’ve seen and it’s so true. I had to say thank you.
    Oh and on a completely other topic, I’m still using your awesome meditation! It’s such a great way to get myself back to center here and there throughout my day, and because it’s only 10 minutes, I actually DO it!

    • Thank you so much Kellie Sue, and I’m SO happy you’re still using our guided meditation. Hooray!

  138. Paulina

    Marie you’re such an inspiration! Thank you so, so much for sharing your love and wisdom with us.
    It’s not about me, it’s about the light I can give with my service 🙂

  139. Kelli

    Thanks, Marie. I’ve always struggled with a lack of self-confidence. For me, it’s always about doubt in my abilities.

  140. I just finished interviews today and I feel emotionally drained and felt the self-doubt creep in afterwards.
    I applied for a position where my work is not up to exact par because I lack the experience, BUT I know I can do the work and pick it up fast. The doubt crept in as I got home, but what helped me is patting myself on the back for putting myself out there in hopes of getting that first job that will give me the experience I need. Also, being around my pets is a perk and helps too 🙂

  141. Wow! Yet another video where I feelk like you are speaking directly to me! How do you always know what I need to hear?! Thanks, and keep it coming girl!

  142. Wow. As always Marie, your videos come into my inbox at just the right time. I’m just about ready to launch my first online course on infant massage and I’m feeling so excited, yet a bit of anxiety about possible criticism. It’s kinda silly because I’m testing it out on family and close friends before actually charging anything to work out some of the bugs, yet I’m still nervous for feedback. You see, I don’t have kids of my own yet, but I think this work is SO important! I’ll keep moving ahead because you never know how things will turn out if you don’t try! Love you Marie and thank you for always sending me exactly what I need to hear!

    • Kristin Team Forleo

      Good luck with your first online course, Carly! That sounds like an incredible topic and I have no doubt your work will be super important for a lot of families 🙂

  143. Taylor

    I feel self doubt the most when I’m trying something new, or exploring a different solution to a problem for the first time. Also experience self doubt when I’m in conflict-heavy situations.

    However, I tend to combat it by reminding myself that I am the only one in the room feeling “X” and everyone else is generally focused internally so they won’t even notice “X”! Also try to remind myself that everyone in the room for that particular project or conversation is battling their own demons (fear, self-doubt, uncertainty, etc.), so it also helps to know that you’re not alone in feeling that way. Once you realize that no one is really paying attention to those types of feelings in the room, it can be much easier to have those tougher conversations.

    Thanks for the great question and love reading the comments. The flashlight idea is brilliant!

  144. Tami

    I feel the most fear when I think about the business aspect of what I am doing ..which is called coloring cards ..however people don’t seem to understand what a coloring card is like a coloring book without the book …it’s not a greeting card …anyway ..once on Twitter life coach Cheryl Richardson …this was years ago ….told me …focus focus focus ..on the. Art ..very similar to your flashlight idea any time I start fearing a out the business side of it ..I pause and say focus focus focus on the art ..then I might go draw an amazing excellent picture …..I’m going to use the flashlight idea too now ..I may even get a flashlight to keep with me as a reminder ..anything that can keep the good flowingggggggg “……

  145. Mary Lahti

    Marie, THIS WAS an amazing way to demonstrate “focus.” It really helped. And it makes perfect sense. I’ve noticed when I really focus on an event, task or person, I give my all to that person and don’t leave room to think and judge. And as an actor, any time you turn the flashlight towards you and think “Oh, the audience is sleeping” or “Oh, the audience laughed there” then you have already disconnected and that bit off disconnect can change dynamics and/or performance. So, I love the flashlight example. And I’ll keep fresh batteries in that flashlight to keep that light bright so if turned on me, I will want to turn it away so fast …
    Mary Lahti

  146. Celeste Zamarripa

    OMG!!! I love this video MF it was really helpful for me!!! I usually (always) turn the flashlight on me, and like in the video is triggered by my thoughts and it turns obnoxious.
    Sometimes I try to change my thoughts but I often can’t shut up my inner voices, so when I’m talking in public I think: ” omg maybe I’m wrong, and somebody will correct me, so I’ll look zero professional”

    BUT thanks for the tip, I’ll use the idea of flashlight that is amazing!!!!!!

  147. semi

    well i feel doubted whenever m going to start something in a very little time..n am just like oh no i cant do it cuz i dont have much time…but to get rid of dat fear n to make my self feeling confident i take a deep breath,think about my dreams dat i can do after dat just keep myself moving and go ahead
    it helps me alot

  148. Jen

    This was really timely – I’m so grateful for the idea of the flashlight – I’m always excited when I first start implementing or creating a new idea, then I get into the nitty gritty and all the fear and self-doubt and questions begin to creep in. Thanks for the ‘bright’ idea :). I’ll be using it all the time now!

  149. Great video. Love the flashlight concept and will endeavour to apply this when I am presenting.
    However, when I experience self-doubt the most, to the extent that it effects my bodily functions is when I wake up in the middle of the night and my mind starts ticking – this is when I really experience THE FEAR and I can’t make the flashlight technique work for me at this time a) it is dark! b) no one to shine it on! I cope with this by getting out of bed and starting my day early. Which works in that I begin to feel a bit more positive. But it is also a vicious circle as I then get tired earlier, go to be earlier etc.

  150. Sayed

    It is a good suggetion to for a boss what will be doing the others cz I am not a boss ?

  151. I love you and your teams fun way Marie. I feel the fear kicking in when it is time to realize stuff. Even though everything is prepared and the first customers are signing up I start to withdraw from the inside. And as in magic customers start to withdraw… without me even talking to anyone of them. Coincidence? Magic?

  152. Katya

    I love how my dear teacher Doreen Virtue puts this: “If you get nervous focus on service”.

  153. Satish

    Love this episode and love the stylish way you explained

  154. love the video, it is a great way to shine out of yourself, thanx

  155. Dylan

    You are great, Forleo. Smart technique and honest words. Perhaps I would have liked to see a representation of when your light is projected on others (clients or audience)

  156. Eva

    Marie, thank you so much for this episode! I deal with self-doubt on a daily basis, and this is such an easy way to remember where I should really be putting my focus! Thanks again for all the work you do. I am so thankful for having overcome my doubts and signing up for B-School a couple of years ago. It was my best investment ever!
    My best to you and Team Forleo, all the way down from Uruguay 🙂

    • Kristin Team Forleo

      We LOVE hearing that, Eva! Sending love back to you!

  157. JenB

    This hit to the heart. What a lovely message and presentation. I just can not get over how the “flashlight” showed perfectly how it feels to sit in that spot. I love this message so deeply and appreciate all the beautiful work you give us. Thank you.

  158. Fiona

    THIS, is quite simply, THE best and most effective image to conquer filthy fear and sickening self-doubt.

    I experience it as an instant shifter. Miraculous Marie. I love it.
    Flash it out, not in and I immediately experience the ‘now’ differently.

    Marie for President **crowd cheer**.
    Thank you for all you put together, openly share and make possible for people. You truly are an angel on this here planet earth.
    Happy Wednesday from a freeZZing Dublin, Ireland.
    Fiona xX

  159. Amazing !!
    I love it.
    As a yoga teacher I often remember this sentence: they are coming for themselves, not for you.
    It takes the pressure out my imperfections and brings my attention to: how can I help them deepen their connection to themselves ?
    In that space, I feel happy to contribute without using the moment to judge myself. Everybody wins 🙂
    Love you Marie and this rich community.
    Kisses from Toulouse, France!

    • Kristin Team Forleo

      Cécile, ooh that’s some good advice right there. Your yoga teacher must be super wise!

  160. Joy

    Thanks so much Marie – this is great teaching I can apply immediately in my workplace and ministry.

  161. Melanie

    Thank you Marie. Always the best advice! I have struggled with self-doubt and fear my whole life. In fact it has been such a huge obstruction for me.

    I will be implementing this fantastic suggestion.

  162. Debra


    That was my one of my most favorite episodes. Thanks for your brilliance in making complex concepts easy to understand.


  163. Pervin

    Another simple but practical tool Marie. I too get obsessed with the fear of failure, but turning the focus to the product or service you are offering is a simple trick to refocus our mind to our goals. I look forward to your Tuesday videos. Keep up the great work.

  164. When I feel less confident or scared to do something new, I channel my inner celebrity and come to terms that I am not the first to take risks. And those who took risks, are still living and fulfilling their purpose!!

  165. Dennis

    Probably the best, and most important advice ever! You rock Marie!

    When we shine our light outward is when we are most beautiful to the world. This explains how YOU are so beautiful.

    Thank you, Marie! This makes my day, and my everything!


    • Kristin Team Forleo

      So so kind of you, Dennis! Thrilled this episode resonated so much 🙂

  166. Jamey Jones

    One of your best Marie. This is so insightful!

  167. Diane

    This was fun … and a great point. Keep it up Marie!

  168. I typically meditate using my new fave meditation app, headspace. That helps me focus on the work at hand, versus whatever is causing me fear and self doubt. It also helps to take your dog for a long walk to reset your head! I always have a better perspective after watching Chilly romp and play.

  169. Margaret Easton

    This is one of my favourite episodes (though they’re all brilliant)! I’m a Life Coach and trainer but sometimes if I don’t fill courses and am not delivering training consistently I can feel the self doubt creeping in. I love the idea of a flash light (or torch as we’d say in the UK). I realise there is such truth in this as when I was younger I was very shy and self conscious until I had children , when suddenly they became the focus of my and everyone else’s attention, so this really makes sense. Thank you Marie. X

  170. This episode was so relevant to how I’m feeling now. Thank you for helping me re-frame it and shift perspective.

    I feel most fear and doubt when I am in my own head in the creative process, and not interacting and interfacing with my clients and partners.

    Also, when I am in a “dry spell.”

    Thanks again Marie for another great episode.

    • Kristin Team Forleo

      SO glad you found it helpful, Evangelia!

  171. Hi Marie,

    THANK YOU for this reminder. Whenever I’m stewing in my own head it’s so easy to get down, stuck and procrastinate. When I can focus on taking action towards my goals, sharing my passions and focussing how to help my clients then I don’t have time to get stuck in my own head. I LOVE this flashlight analogy and will always remember it!!

  172. I liked this video because it’s totally an everyday feeling.

    My experiences with self doubt comes in waves and can be triggered by something that doesn’t go the way I expected. The way I get over it is I feel out the anxiety and pain, and then I think about how every single entrepreneur feels this way…even the ones I admire most like you Marie and the other leaders I follow. I use it as a way to confirm that I am a successful entrepreneur…because I know it’s going to be hard so when it IS hard, it can be used as a relief instead of a challenge.

    I think it’s important for us to let ourselves go through a quick round of the grieving process and circle back around to recovery and thought-reframing. It’s not about avoiding the inevitable, but EMBRACING it !

  173. Corina Vanana Valcan

    Hello Marie,

    Now I have just read the text as I really don`t have time because of all the thinks which happened the last days. The next days I intend also to watch the video and then to send you a second comment. But I believe in myself and have no problems therefore. It`s just that other persons have to look arround and take care, because there are different types of (…) and it dipends on them what they want to start doing.

  174. I love this! I really truly believe that there is a higher power that gives us right ideas with pure motives. If our work is to help others than we have to know that our work is valuable. I think so many of us believe that we are not good enough.This is a belief that we need to battle with , may be even every day. But, for those of us who push thru that fear, and go for it are helping all of humanity and creating a shift in consciousness. For me, it’s daily work of affirming the Truth that my skills are valuable, because they come from God. And God is all good!

  175. Marie~
    Thanks for your answer! I was doubting myself when I believed I did my best, but still no progress or results! I was focusing on what I’m doing wrong! Why my business is not growing! I now found what was really wrong! It is not myself but my focus! Today I visited my team consultant for supporting, contacted previous customers to make lunch appointments, and wrote a few FB comments to encourage others, instead of sitting down & thinking about myself! I feel so much better! I can do better! Thank you~☆

  176. Dear Marie,

    Thank you for your beautiful presentation. Today’s magical training video on Flashlight Training told me about my doubts when I failed in reviews from ModCloth Affiliate Program & startup RANKING Peru. The Peru company declared my American Social Networking Site. as SPAM and Network Solutions made me file an Abuse Case against them. Horus Music UK filed an abuse case against me which I resolved quickly. I improved in my fight-or-flight response by designing my own game [Maze Level Puzzle] yesterday. I did it well by searching for reviews and opportunities.

    Thank you for listening to me. I am very happy today. May Jesus bless us all.

    Rohan Sarker
    CEO & Founder
    SwitchGate CrystalShift

  177. victor

    interesting . . .

    it’s been said, there is nothing new, just a re-working of the old

    what you are saying, in a nutshell: change your focus – that idea comes up in “The Gift of Pain” by Dr Brand. of course, it’s usually much easier when you have the support of family and friends 🙂

    also – in a more esoteric manner, there is something in what you say that somehow relates to the work of Martin Buber in “I and Thou”

  178. I love the explanation using the flashlight. Skit/example was great too. It shed some light on how it looks.

  179. Laurie

    Just starting my own business… yeah me! but yea self doubt at times thanks for shining the light on this lol. I will be shining the light outward as much as possible.


    Hello Marie and Marie’s team
    I wish I could be known this program early. Even I don’t understand all off them because I am not good at English. But your voice is awesome and the way you talk is very wonderful. Especially all the tips that you share for us. They are useful and helpful a lot. Could they be subtitled then I and all people who are studying english as a second language can understand and learn a lot from them.
    Thank you very much and have a nice day

  181. I enjoyed this video it helps a little bit. But I have a question when I am getting read to make my phone calls for my leads I get tongue tied and flustered plus when I have an appointment to sign someone up I get all shy and its hard to talk cause I am not around people much and its hard to make conversation. Any suggestions would help greatly.

  182. I was always fearful until I found something I knew deeply in my heart would serve others and would help them create more of the life they desire. Then I stopped focusing on my own issues and insecurities. But I have to admit, I first did some major self examination to root out ugly voices in my head. You have helped with that also!! Yeah Marie!!
    Thank you!

  183. As a singer songwriter, I notice self-doubt, not when I’m about to get on stage or into the recording studio. By then, I feel good about a song.

    It’s when I sit down to write. I often doubt my abilities. I love the idea of focusing on my audience. What I do serves them. Whenever I find my heart and mind grounded in giving, a fountain of power rises up and I can do anything! I’m going to meditate for just a few minutes the next time I go to write and shine my flashlight on my listeners and fans. Maybe the self doubts will fade into the shadows!

    Thank you, Marie!

  184. Hey Marie.
    Thank you so much that was sooo very useful and inspiring! Yet I have one thing that has been troubling me forever and so far despite the coaching that I’ve done it looks like I can’t find the cure. How do you keep up when you don’t see quantifiable results? I have a small crowd of grateful folks for my serveces, they keep coming for more, but it’s not enought…
    How do you keep your motivation when you have invested so much the return is not there yet….
    Thank you, you are amazing and inspiring:)

    • Kristin Team Forleo

      Elitsa, that’s a great question and I think there are a number of ways you could approach this. I don’t know how long you’ve been in business, but it does take time to grow organically — keep that in mind! And it sounds like the people you’re working with now really adore you. That’s incredible. Maybe you can garner motivation from knowing how much you’re doing for them, while also taking steps to grow through marketing and word of mouth and advertising (just some examples!).

  185. Nia

    I feel the most fear when I’m doing something different and going out of my comfort zone. The imposter syndrome creeps in and I work through the fear. Liz Gilbert’s concept about not letting fear “drive the car” comes to mind for me. Great video as always!

  186. Lillian

    Well put Marie! This is a nice visual way to express my self talk of, “Where is my focus?” Inevitably if I’m feeling anxious, fearful, annoyed, angry – pretty much anything negative, it’s because my focus is on myself.

  187. Joanne

    Great video. This is one of the areas that I am working on. I do want to mention, some excerpts of your video had me cracking up. You have a great way of connecting with your audience. Hoping to get the opportunity to be a part of B-School!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Oh thank you so much, Joanne! We love having a bit of fun with everything we do 🙂

      We’d love to have you on board in B-School if it feels like the right fit. Feel free to reach out to us if you have any questions about the program (bschool AT marieforleo DOT com)!

  188. Elaya Walker

    I feel the most self-doubt and fear when approaching a task that I’m not confident in. My most recent occurance has been the past couple weeks. I’m getting my start up together and my next step was hiring. I have never hired before so there was already a little doubt there but how did I know I was going to hire the right people for my team? Out of fear of failure-before-launch, I kept putting off the hiring process which only hurt me and my company because nothing was getting done. Now when this kind of counter-productiveness happens my depression seizes the opportunity to make me feel inadequate and have me recluse and do nothing and that’s exactly what I did for awhile only fueling the cycle of nothingness getting done which made me feel worse. At this point I needed a real kick in the butt and I am so forever grateful for my partners straightforwardness. She handed my butt to me in a way that showed me the cycle was only going to stop of I stopped it and then she forced me to set a date and conduct my interviews. I’m still learning how to fight this battle on my own and your videos inspire me to push through it. As you said, those feelings don’t just disappear. They come back and you have to continue the journey of learning how to re-purpose that negative energy. Thank you.
    What do you do to keep believing in your business (or work/project/etc.) especially during those times when you’re having a tough time believing in yourself?

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Elaya, I hear you, and you’re SO not alone. It’s wonderful that your partner was able to help give you the “kick in the butt” that you needed.

      I’m also someone who has a tendency to dive into the nothingness/ feeling worse spiral myself, so I’ve been there too. The good news is that overcoming that DOES get better with practice, and for me personally I’ve been able to improve by leaning on two different strategies.

      The first is all about what Marie shares here. Being connected with your greater Why and shining the flashlight out when you’re feeling in doubt is a great way to step back and recommit.

      Second, I try to keep going even if I’m not motivated, and even if I don’t do a ton of stuff. Those down days happen unfortunately, but they don’t need to stop you in your tracks entirely.

      Something is always better than doing nothing at all, so taking even tiny steps forward when you’re feeling unmotivated can help keep the ball rolling. For more on that, here’s a great MarieTV episode with our favorite “getting things done” guru, Steven Pressfield:

      Thank you so much for being in our world!

  189. Nikki Getman

    Great insight, and yet another important reason to focus on the customer in your business — especially these businesses that are personal brands instead of corporate ones! Also, just a great life lesson for living abundantly in general. 🙂

  190. Great reminder that everyone faces fear and doubt at some point and sometimes often. Thanks, Marie for helping us learn to deal with this!

  191. This is great! Not only for business situations but also when just feeling a bit down in the dumps. Whenever I’m feeling a little unsure, or flat, I use the mantra, if I don’t know what to do, be of service to others. It takes the attention off myself and my own troubles (often made much bigger by that personal flashlight!) and gets myself thinking of others and how I can help. I’ve never really applied it to my business – so thanks, Marie!

  192. Thanks Marie,

    I just focus on why I’m doing this, why i want to help others… it helps

  193. I love this! And I think shining your flashlight outward can take many forms. Of course, as entrepreneurs, it makes a lot of sense to shine it toward our clients and customers. But you can also shine it on other people around you or people in need.

    I remember the day before my first live retreat, I was terrified and focusing inward. Then my phone rang, and it was someone I knew who was in a real pinch. At first I thought, “I don’t have time for this! It’s not my problem.” But then I reconsidered. I ended up spending some time helping her with her situation, even stopping by her place on the way to my retreat the next day. It totally helped me get out of my own head and shine the flashlight outside of myself – and I was better able to show up for my clients because I wasn’t dwelling on my inner issues.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Beautiful share, Sarah!

  194. “What specific times do you feel fear/self-doubt?”

    Afternoons. Or whenever I’ve been working really hard and still have only three sales. That flashlight seems to be laying on a tilted desk and rolls around and points at me.

    “What do you do to keep believing in your business?”

    I say to myself, “You are helping people. If you stop doing this, you’re not helping and you’re just being selfish. If you don’t charge for your products/services, you can’t afford to keep helping. So not selling is ALSO selfish. Quit making it all about you. Suck it up and help. If someone doesn’t want your stuff, great. They don’t need help. Move on to the next guy that does need your help!”

  195. I’ll start wearing a flashlight around my neck! Thanks Marie. Every time I think about writing blog entries I seem to find something else to do. My fear is: who’s gonna read it and want to hire me as their health coach, and besides so many other people can probably say it better, make it more polished.

  196. Marie,

    You are my idol! I thank you SO much for sharing that “special gift that only YOU have”. Thank you for being a shining example of how to be your authentic self. You keep it 100 and I love your for it because you have shown me that it’s okay for me to do the same. Love you! Love you! LOVE you!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Aww, you’re so sweet! Thank you so much, Ro 🙂 xoxo

  197. Thank you Marie for this episode. They say birds of the same colour fly together. This is what i do to keep myself afloat in the work that i do in the world. When i feel low my allies are able to give me quick guidance which is inline with the beliefs we jelously safeguard and uphold. This is working for me. Again meditation is the answer because it energizes and rejuvinates the body to carry on with the journey come what may. I feel we are now very close to the dawn of a new era hence the need to work extremely hard to make it happen.

  198. Sabrina Franco

    I feel the most self doubt and fears when I have a client in front of my face! As an insurance agent I get a lot done behind the scenes (aka behind the phones) so I am able to concentrate and put together the best quote package for my clients need. But something about having them meet with me face to face to talk about insuring their home, auto and life it can be intimidating because now you can’t really look at your cheat sheets lol and you feel rushed because GEICO Insurance has everyone thinking it takes 15 minutes or less to quote insurance….As a licensed agent I have a responsibility to offer my recommendations despite what my client wants or thinks is best for them. Insurance is very complex and a good percentage of my time with the client is spent educating them on their coverage needs and helping them realuze tjat it should not just be about the cost. Anyways, I second guess my self a lot and don’t feel my most confident in these situations. It isn’t until after the client leaves that I notice all the areas I could of done better ?

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That sounds really stressful, Sabrina. It’s clear that you really care about your customers and want to help them in the best possible way. Since you’re keeping an eye out for their own best interests, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you checking a folder with your cheat sheets and reference pages—that just means you’re thorough and you care about getting it right. And the fact that you’re willing to spend more than 15 minutes with them, instead of rushing, shows that you really care. It may be helpful to re-frame the things you’re not feeling confident about into strengths so you can deliver an over the top amazing customer experience. 🙂

  199. SUCH an important conversation, thank you Marie for shedding “light” on the subject!!! I feel self-doubt creep in when I didn’t book the client or am feeling stagnant with my offerings. For me, the best thing is to get some sunshine on my face, exercise, “Shake it Off” with Taylor Swift, or chat with a friend about my disappointment.

  200. Thanks Miss Marie!
    I have a business meeting with my love’s ex wife this week, and I know I can help her, we are friends, and she is great! yet there is still a little doubt in me as to whether I can get through it! you are AUMAZING! and I thank you for being the light! Namaste x

  201. Hey Marie, this video of yours comes at the right moment!!
    I’m a Communication Consultant in Italy and I’ve just started exposing myself with my own YouTube “show” (yo!)
    I constantly feel fear when I have to shoot, for I’m not a “video star” at all and my production is a little bit handmade (though, I try to be as professional as I can)
    I knew that exposing myself would also mean being criticized… and some really bad critics came up last week!
    One person commented on my video reffering to everything but the content…. my hair was trilby, I couldn’t stay calm on my chair and so on….. I felt REALLY bad, for my self-confidence faltered and I was wondering: “Does this happen even to star people such as Marie Forleo?? Or is it beacuse I’m ACTUALLY too bad in doing this?”
    This could also be a great question for your next video ;)…….. I would really love to know if you experience criticism and how you get over it.
    Thanks for reading and…sorry if my English is not so good ;)!!

    • Kristin Team Forleo

      Isabel – I’m so sorry you received negative criticism, but it’s WONDERFUL that you’re still making your show and helping people by sharing your knowledge. No one is immune to criticism, even Marie. Check out this episode of MarieTV for more on this topic!

      • Isabel

        Thanks Kristin :)!!!

  202. Ladies & Gentlemen you don’t have any self doubts, you’re a business owner providing your own laws of surviving, if you doubted yourself…you would have never become a business owner. There is no room for that! Or the time! Own your Fears and be a f cking Lion that you are! You are the King of the Jungle!

  203. I’ve been doubting myself a lot lately… this post is just what I needed, thanks Marie 🙂

  204. Loved this episode, Marie. I remember in my yoga teacher training my teacher shared the same advice. I needed the reminder though! Thank you for all the lovely value you create. <3

  205. Do I need to add anything to this article and video?
    No. Nothing at all. You explained it to the toe Marie. I am having some downs in my life current (Not depressed) and its been very dry since past 2 week and half weeks or so.

    Someone comment about Criticism. What do you think of that? How to deal with it?

  206. When I started to really doubt myself as an artist I started a blog to promote other artists. Seeing other artists put themselves out there really helped me to begin to put myself out there again!

    • Kristin Team Forleo

      Love that, Liz! In the process of helping others, you helped yourself, too. Beautiful 🙂

  207. Kiran

    Awesome quotes of motivation, really helped me in motivating myself. Thanks for sharing such great info. Keep doing so Marie.

  208. Peter Mustermann

    I really loved your article and presentation. thanks a lot.

  209. Wendy

    I love the episode. Thank you for the tips.

  210. Ms Tui

    Thanks once again Marie for your insight into what’s really affecting us entrepreneurs/infopreneurs today.

    I find these ‘self-confidence low’ episodes spike after I’ve completed a major project/mission and the aftermath is a decline in motivation, possibly depression and a desire to know what’s next.

    I’m going to be a flashlight on others today as today is one of those days.

  211. Thanks, I have been struggling with a new startup travel concierge and this helps to keep me on my path and not lose sight of what it’s important to me and my future clients.

  212. Monique

    Just what I needed!
    Thanks for all you do, Marie.

  213. You are so Awesome Marie!

    I recently started my website in December. Started a video series in January and the number of views weren’t up to par. This definitely helps me focus on my why of what Im doing and not the numbers. Thank you Marie!

  214. Diana López


    I think this tips very useful. Personally I think that if you don´t trust in yourself, then you´ve to trust in the process, in God, or anything that help you overcome that feeling of distrust. If we focus in what are we going to offer, what are we going to iluminate, what are we going to do for others..there is the trust. That good purposes should give you the confidence to just do it the best you can!

    Thank you Mary!

  215. Not only is this video so incredibly helpful to me, but I’m showing it to my 10 year old daughter today when she gets home. She is a born performer, loves singing, acting….but when a performance comes up (there’s one this weekend!) she becomes absolutely paralyzed and wants to run. Last year she sang live in front of a group of about 50 people and it was so beautiful to literally watch her climb the ladder of emotions, from complete panic and on the verge of tears, up through, “oh my god, I’m actually doing this”, to “oh my god, I actually sound good”, to “oh my god I feel AMAZING….THIS IS THE BEST FEELING EVER”. Pure parental bliss to watch your kid move through a fear. BUT, just as you said, it always continues to arise, so having the tools to redirect your mind is so helpful. Thank you Marie!! xoxo

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much, Shannon! I hope your daughter loves watching this video too. Performing can be so scary, but SO rewarding 🙂 We’re sending lots of love and best wishes to her for her upcoming performance!

  216. As a counselor and life coach, I work with people who present their challenges to me. I have to be clear on my confidence to serve them, so that my fears don’t sneak in. I am currently practicing Gabby Bernstein’s “May Cause Miracles.” I witness my fear, forgive myself for the fearful limiting thoughts, then ask for a miracle, something better than this! This practice opens up my heart and mind so that I can focus on the valuable person sitting in front of me! It is a priceless gift from Gabby!

  217. Tom

    Just got here! Hoping and praying to pick up a lot of tips! Thanks Marie!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Welcome, Tom! We’re so glad you found us, and we can’t wait to share more great tips with you!

  218. Sonia

    What I do when fear and self-doubt pop up is look into it to find the cause of it. If we look the other way, you might temporarely forget it but in a long run it will come back stronger, so dig and find the root of the problem, don’t cover it up with more dirt. The weed will grow again unless you pull it out roots and all.

  219. Mia

    Marie….MIND BLOWN!!! One of the things I love about Q+A Tuesday is you give the simplest advice, but it’s SO powerful! I never thought about my attention this way.
    My fear comes into play when I think I can never earn a living doing what I love and going for my dreams the way I am. I watch my friends all settle into careers and starting a family and I’m still working towards what I consider my ultimate career and lifestyle. Doubt knocks on my door every single day. But honestly, I keep my mind set on those people who I see living my dream and inspiring others. Just to name a few: you, Marie, Nisha Moodley, Sarah Jenks, Sora Surya No, Tony Robbins, and Rosetta Thurman. I can always find the ‘mind medicine’ I need to feel the fear and doubt and keep going anyway. Thank you for this!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Awesome, Mia! We’re so glad to be a little bit of “mind medicine” for you, and keep going — you SO got this!

  220. Marie, I did it!! at 51 I am a B-Schooler not playing it small anymore! I am so excited for this journey I am about to go on. I believe in my business and myself! Thank you for all your inspiring words and great tools!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      WOOHOO Celia! We’re so gosh darn excited to have you on board, and most of all, to hear that the decision was about you believing in yourself and your business.

      Thank you for joining us, and we cannot wait to see you in ‘School!

  221. Great points. I make it a regular effort to sit down and have a conversation with my clients and ask for feedback. I do this for multiple reasons:

    1. I know the direction of my company. What I should sell, how I should position it, etc.
    2. I learn where I can improve.
    3. I learn what I am GOOD at.

    When I get feedback from my clients I can learn more about what I am good at, so whenever I am feeling down I can look at my list of ‘testimonials’ and accomplishments. I can say well you may not feel confident, but look at what you have done.

    You can produce results even if you do not feel very confident.

  222. Anastasia

    Such a nice post. It helped me a lot

  223. I get a sinking feeling whenever I hear you say “because the world needs that special gift that only you have”. Such a battle with this. When I was little I dreamed of such a big life. Almost 60 and so proud of being a mother to two beautiful people. Recently jumped off the cliff into the life of an artist/maker. Struggling to make ends meet and often up against the question of “why”? Does anyone really benefit from what I do? I teach a little bit and I know I make a difference in my students’ lives, but what I really love to do is get into the studio and make, create, problem solve, learn new techniques and how to work with new tools. It all seems so self-serving, especially when I see all these inspirational people you interview, including you, who are doing so much for so many. I’ve signed up for BSchool and will be looking for a way to the very solid “why”.

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Evie, you’re so not alone in feeling this way, but what you do is incredibly important. We’re THRILLED to have you in B-School to help drill into that, and in the meantime, definitely watch this other episode on this struggle:

      • Thank you Chelsea,

        Such a HUGE one for me. It seems to creep up behind every positive thought I feel about what I do. I’m going to dive into this next 8 weeks with everything I’ve got.

  224. By listening to this video I realized that fear and self-doubt pop up for me the moment I spend a lot of time thinking. Thinking paralyzes me for some time. The moment I stop thinking and focusing on myself is when I am able to see the bigger picture. This is also the moment my confidence goes up.
    I sometimes think to just give up, and go get a job, however there is something inside of me that tells me I have to find a way to make this happen.

  225. Sue

    Thank you for this. Putting a flashlight in a toolbox 🙂

    One of my tools is to keep a “Kudos” file from customers, subscribers, friends, etc. Yep pretty much anything nice someone shares with me.
    When I’m having some self doubt, I read something from this file. If it’s a lot of doubt, I read the whole thing. It helps me refocus my energy on the positive and gets me going.
    If I need an extra boost….I dance 🙂

  226. Thanks Marie. It help to know that this is normal. I recently started my own business and I am drowning in self doubt and fear that I may not be successful. I think I’m doing all the right things to build my brand and my business but there are many quiet days and that’s when the fears set in. I must learn to project my fear as you shared. Thank you.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much for your kind note, Nina. Getting started in business is not easy, so definitely take the time to celebrate the great work you’re doing, and know that we’re cheering you! xoxo

  227. Love, love, love. I’m in B-School right now so daily pressing against my comfort zones with the resultant nerves and self doubts. This is PERFECT advice. Thank you!

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      You’re so not alone, Meredith! I’m glad this advice was well-timed for you though. And hooray for B-School pushing your comfort zones! 🙂

  228. This is a gem Marie, thanks so much!
    I feel most blocked by fear & self-doubt before putting some content out, usually the more important it feels to me the more I feel those naughty buggers (ha, spotlight on ME in those times I guess, thanks for shining some light onto that one!).
    What I do is in those times is remind myself that I’m doing my best and that I’m getting better the more I DO it. So the fear that would want me to stop is exposed as an OBSTACLE to where I want to get. That helps, seeing it for what it is – an obstacle, and not the truth.
    From now on, I’ll be shining my flashlight more onto OTHERS – those that I actually try to take care of with by business. Thx again! <3

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Mojca, you’re not alone with those thoughts! So glad this episode helped.

      If you didn’t catch the one we did with Liz Gilbert, I highly recommend giving that one a watch too, and paying close attention to how she deals with the fear and self-doubt thing. It’s so insightful, and is complementary to what’s shared in this one. XO

  229. I’m in the beginning of my online business. (I am enjoying BSchool) but this was super helpful to get outside of feeling stuck. So often I’ve been feeling “how do I show up”? Instead of, what do they need to hear.
    Thank you for the timely message!

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      So glad to hear you’re enjoying B-School, Kellyann 🙂

      Hooray for timely messages! Remember – you’ve got this.

  230. I love this piece of advice. It’s a different perspective on looking at things. This is one of my favourite episodes after Elizabeth Gilbert’s Interview. Love it.

  231. Marie,
    Many thanks for your awesome present! I just love all of your videos!
    Mostly I feel the worst self-doubt when I give and give to my cutomers but I still don’t have enough money in my pocket. My baby business is 6 months old but sometimes the fear that I’m not good enough and my cutomers don’t need me enough almost kill me.
    However I got plenty of positive feedbacks…
    Maybe I just don’t get the product which generate enough money in my sales funnel?
    I will think of it!
    Many thanks again.
    Best wishes for all the wonderful souls here 😉

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Anna, thank you so much for your comment and sharing your thoughts. Business can definitely be the toughest when you’re just starting out, so I absolutely hear you. It’s wonderful that you’re hearing some great feedback though — that’s a great place to start!

      In case you’d like to check out even more helpful business tips, I thought I might pass along this great collection of MarieTV episodes that talk all about building a meaningful business:

      We so appreciate you tuning in, and we’re cheering you on as you’re growing your business!

  232. andresa bastos

    Olá Marie!
    So wonderful to hear you!
    I believe confidence or lack of it, also arises, when we start comparing ourselves. And perhaps this is another atitude, to keep ourselves from comparing obsessively, in a way that is unfair, because we only know so much about the others, and we all have different lives… so, like you advised, it is better to keep the flash light on that you can do, rather then what others have done … 🙂

  233. Very nice!

  234. Marie, I loved this video. Many thanks!

  235. Kat

    Hi Marie!
    Thank you so much for this episode. I have always been a little crazy (in the best ways), dreamed unrealistically & accomplished things that often surprise even me. But the last few years have been especially challenging due to a back-to-back string of really horrible male sexualizing bosses that have caused a lot of doubt in my professional abilities (aka they’re just hiring me for a piece of ass). I enrolled in B School this term (yay!) and am working toward figuring out what my business looks like, but I’m having trouble shaking some of those negative thoughts, because, let me clear– I want it all! I know that it’s possible to happy and healthy and successful. Any advice on shaking off those demons while my business is just in its infancy? Thank u!

  236. My fear and self-doubt stem from an awkward relationship with “racism”. I have a white grandmother, however, my skin is brown and my social identity is established as Black or African American. I get “attacks” from the way I interact in what some people view as a “white space”.

  237. Liz

    I needed this today, Marie! Thank you. My fear and self-doubt come out when I think about actually doing anything to spread the word about my reiki practice; it feels like I don’t know enough (hello, impostor syndrome) to go out and really help folks.
    I try to remember that everyone started somewhere, and that it’s not up to me to decide what I have to offer isn’t right for someone – that’s up to them! And how can they decide if they don’t know what I have to offer at all? I appreciate this flashlight exercise so much because I think focusing on what I can do for others is WAY more fun than conjuring up new ways I might make a fool of myself.

  238. Digital Servant

    I have been struggling professionally and spiritually. I have become a student of your great expertise and energy. Professionally, I am at a crossroad. Spiritually, I know I need to learn how to pray, let go of this world’s expectations, and actively seek to serve and help others. I don’t know what or where this looks like. However, your advice with the visual of the flashlight will help me get on track and stay on track. All goodness comes from God and when I pray I pray for myself not for helping others. If I pray properly, if I stay focused not on ‘me’ but on the service to others, I know I will be happier in all dimensions, family, profession, mental fitness, physical fitness and most of all be able to truly give. Thank you very much! Blessings to you and your family.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      So glad this wisdom was helpful! We’re cheering you on as you’re using your gifts and making the world a better place.

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  240. Good reminder! I need to watch this from time to time.

  241. I’m glad I heard that today.
    Good reminder and advices not only for writing but for business at all.

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