How to Be True to Yourself and Avoid Life’s #1 Regret

Are all the “shoulds” taking over your life? You know, the ones that say:

You should focus on becoming good at ONE thing — there’s no way you can follow all your passions.
You should tone down your message, you don’t want to scare anyone away.
You’re over 35. You should really think about having kids soon.
You should be on social media more. You’re missing out on potential customers!
You should lay off the mankinis, they might make some people uncomfortable.

That’s a lot — but they’re REAL “shoulds” people have either told me directly or I’ve felt myself through unspoken societal and cultural expectations.

That’s not to say all expectations are bad. Washing your hands after you use the bathroom is a smart “should” in my opinion.

[bctt tweet="Living for other people’s expectations guarantees you’ll fall short of your own. " username="marieforleo"]

But, in the broader sense, it’s easy to let external expectations and pressures sweep you away from your true self. Before you know it, you’re living life on autopilot, barely aware of the choices you’re making and the reasons behind them.

Signs You’re Disconnected From Your True Self

It’s a natural human desire to want to please the people around us. We’re social creatures who thrive in community. But you don’t have to suppress your true nature or ignore your deepest heart’s desire in order to be loved and accepted.

Your time here on earth is limited. Don’t waste it chasing approval and ignoring what you really want.

Here are some signs you’re not being true to yourself:

You worry constantly about what people think.
You feel resentful of all you have to do.
You’re not sure if you’re bored, sad, or just exhausted.
Your dreams seem silly, unreachable, or irrelevant now.
You feel ‘selfish’ asking for what you want.
You feel pulled in a million directions.

The Risks of Ignoring Your Inner Voice

Depending on what messages you heard growing up, it can feel downright wrong to break out of the conventional way of doing things. Being honest about what you really want can feel offensive, selfish, or just unimportant.

When you reach the end of your life, will you regret not listening to your heart?

Will you recall lost opportunities and dreams unfulfilled? Will you think of all the lies you told — to yourself and to others to stay safe, comfortable, and likeable?

My guess is yes. That’s not a risk not worth taking.

3 Questions to Help You Be More True To Yourself

In the video below, you’ll get a 3-part question that will help you create a life that’s more true to yourself. It’s inspired by the #1 regret from Bronnie Ware’s phenomenal book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Think of it as a gut check — a quick exercise you can go back to whenever you feel like your inner voice is being drowned out by society’s expectations.

Don’t just think your answers in your head, write them down. Seeing and reading your words gives you extra motivation to make change. If you don’t have a pen and paper handy, type them out in the comments below.

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Hey, it’s Marie Forleo, and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. This is not Q&A Tuesday. No, no, no my friend. It is more exciting than that because it’s…

It’s time for You&A Tuesday. It’s You&A Tuesday where the answers come from you.

Now, the question I want you to answer today that I’m gonna get to in just a moment is inspired by a profound insight from one of our past guests. Personally, I gotta tell you, I come back to this idea again and again and again. I use it to make sure that I am not living my life on autopilot or living in a way that’s dictated by other people’s expectations of who I should be. This idea is from Bronnie Ware, who’s not only a B-School grad, but the author of the incredible book, The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying. Now, if you haven’t seen our interview Bronnie, you need to watch it right after this one. I’ll put a link below.

The short story is that Bronnie was a palliative nurse who sat by the bedsides of the terminally ill for years. And she discovered that the number one most common regret of folks who were on their deathbed was this. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” I gotta tell you, every time I read that or say it, it gets me in the gut. It’s one of those truths that I think is worth revisiting to make sure that we’re really living the life that we want to live, not the life others expect of us. So, the Q I want you to A today actually has three parts.

Part number one: What’s one thing you’re doing right now, not because it’s true for you, but because you feel it’s expected from you?

Part number two: What’s one courageous change you’d like to make to be more true to yourself?

Part number three: What’s the first action step you can take now?

Now, don’t just think about this in your head. I want you to leave a short comment below because it will help you actually make that change happen, promise.

Now, as always, the best cover-

[Team Forleo]
Whoa, whoa. Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa.
That’s it?
I mean, no funny sketches?
Yeah. Wait, we’re not going to do any dancing?
And I wore this for nothing.
Well. I mean, not for nothing. That outfit is quite something, but yes, that is it for today.
But this is MarieTV. People expect dancing.
And mankinis.

Marie: Nope. I don’t do what other people expect of me. Today I’m keeping it tight and right, and true to me. Seriously, though, the best conversations and mankinis happen at marieforleo.com. So go there and leave a comment now, and once you’re there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF Insider. You’ll get some exclusive content, special giveaways, and personal updates from me that I just don’t share anywhere else. Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching, and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.

Once you’ve watched, I’d love to hear from you.

What new insights did you glean and what actions are you going to take to be more true to yourself?

Share as much detail as you can. Hundreds of thousands of incredible souls come here for insight and inspiration. Your story may be just what someone else needs to have a major breakthrough.

Important: please share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. may be removed.

Thank you so much for watching, sharing, and adding your perspective. Keep listening to that small voice inside. As you know, life comes with a 100% mortality rate.

This is an urgent call to pay attention to the limited time you have left. Because the world really does need that special gift that only you have.

With SO much ❤️,