Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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You know you want more — more out of your business, more out of your relationship, your career, or your friendships. But how do you get it? How do you get from Point A to Point B?

Simple.

You ask for it.

In today’s interview with Alexandra Carter — Columbia Law Professor, negotiation expert, and author of the book Ask For More — you’ll learn how to get more of what you want without manipulation or slimy tactics.

Alexandra is a go-to negotiation trainer for the United Nations. Now she’s on MarieTV to show you how to turn a “no” into a “yes,” and why it’s important to teach people your value even in times of uncertainty.

Listening is the foundation, not just of negotiation, but of everything worthwhile in life. @alexbcarter Click To Tweet

In 10 simple questions, she’ll help you understand what you want, how to ask for it, and — most importantly — how to get it. If you’ve ever thought negotiation was cold or heartless, you *need* to watch this episode. Alexandra teaches with so much love and integrity my heart welled up with emotion during our conversation.

You’ll learn:

2:52 — The “Honeymoon Secret” to slime-free negotiation.
6:08 — The surprising reason you should avoid the word “why” at all costs.
7:49 — The #1 reason women don’t ask for more and how to get past it.
14:01 — The BIGGEST mistake people make when trying to negotiate (and how to stop).
20:29 — 4 magic words that turn any “no” into a “yes.”
29:02 — The 2 big emotions that derail our relationships more than any other.

Remember, asking for what you want is *not* selfish. As Alexandra so wisely said, “When you teach someone how to value you, you teach him how to value all of us.”

Hit play to watch now or listen on The Marie Forleo Podcast.

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Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

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DIVE DEEPER: Bob Burg on how to win people over without manipulation and how to get paid even if asking for money stresses you out.

Now Alexandra and I would love to hear from you. What ahas did you have about negotiation? How can you turn those insights into action right now? Is there an area of your life or a relationship where you want to ask for more?

Leave a comment below and tell us all about it! Thousands of beautiful souls come here each week for insight and motivation, and your story could help someone else have a breakthrough.

Important: share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be removed.

Stay rooted in your heart, stay rooted in your humanity and your desire to connect. When you have that, you have everything.

All my love,

XO 

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111 comments

  1. The nr.1 thing of this podcast that stayed either me is this question :
    “What are your concerns?”
    That is so good!

    Thank you Marie and Alexandra!
    ??

    • (“with’ me instead of either ? )

    • Lindsey Fox

      I couldn’t agree more! What a simple yet powerful question. This will forever be a question I ask when someone is questioning, concerned or on the fence about a decision. Personally and professionally.

    • Thank you ..

  2. Susanna Tham

    This episode was golden on so many levels! ? The biggest aha! for me was realizing that assuming the best of others, and of myself, will make it so much easier to offer my message and services. This was a total change of perspective for me. Thank you!

    • Julia- Team Forleo

      Love it, Susanna! We’re so happy to hear this!

  3. The reframing around “when you ask for more, you normalise it for the next woman” that really made sense to me. As a coach myself, the “tell me about that” is definitely a language I use and recommend for anything and everything!

    “What are your concerns?” is one I haven’t tried and will definitely do now!!! <3
    Thanks again for sharing.

  4. Shireen Khan

    Loved the part Ask for more, for sisterhood.

  5. Assuming the best of others: a reminder for me of an attitude towards my fellow human beings which is profoundly valuable to practise in all walks of life, not just business).. Thank you!

    • Ismeri -Team Forleo

      Such a great reminder, Maria! Assuming the best of others in all aspects of our lives does bring tremendous value to the world:)

  6. I am a professional mediator and an advocate for women empowerment, and thought Alexandra did an excellent job and her points are spot on. Most impactful, and something I have learned to incorporate Into my mediation practice (and all relationships) is being vulnerable with curiosity- We often fear asking questions and being curious out of fear of sounding stupid – yet the opposite is true- most people will value being asked- so my biggest take aways here are (1) “Start with asking ‘what is the problem you want to solve>”…(2) What do I need? In mediations (or any negotiations), the natural inclination is to “fight” whatever the person on the other side wants. But what if instead, we ask “What do you need?” is powerful and can draw out real issues that help inform why they are holding so firm; for yourself, being clear on what you need (versus just are demanding) can be powerful and help bolster the “ask”. (3) What are your concerns” to turn a “no” into “yes”- SOOOOO good! I also loved the “why” of normalizing for the next woman, and the attitude of assuming the best in others… Thank you!

  7. Marvina

    This landed in my email at the perfext time. I needed to hear this message. I loved the analogy of the kayak, sterling the narrative. Mind blowing! Simply asking and allowing that “No,” to be a greater conversation. Priceless. I will be the book. God bless you both.

    • Ismeri -Team Forleo

      We’re so glad to hear this conversation resonates with you during this time, Marvina. We love the book and hope you do too:)

  8. Marvina

    pardon my typos….. my phone and large fingers have a love hate relationship.
    **Perfect!**, Steering, the narrative. I will buy the book. I feel better now. ?

  9. Sharmayne

    BLOWN AWAY. Loved that Alexandra placed as much importance in looking inwards, as outwards. We often don’t realize how the relationship we have with ourselves influence how we perceive others / how others should treat us.

    EVERY single bit of the talk was impactful and worked well in forming this highly empowering talk – KUDOS to Marie for being the amazing facilitator as always.

    Last but not the last I also find the bit on asking “What are your concerns” super helpful – steering the conversation beyond just the surface ripples but into the current. I am so thankful this video was put together and that i listened to it.

    • Ismeri -Team Forleo

      We’re so glad this conversation was helpful, Sharmayne, and hope these tips continue serving as you ask for what you need! Thank you for tuning in:)

  10. I loved this episode because it is so important in life and business. My best takeaways:
    * Being a better listener is critical to success
    * Assume the best in others and watch out for our own fear monsters
    * Ask : what are your concerns to go from a no to a yes!
    * Don’t ask Why instead say Tell Me About to gain much more valuable information
    *. Ask what is the problem you want to solve & what do you need
    If we practice these key takeaways our lives & businesses will be so much more positive and constructive!! Thank you so much Marie and Alex for a great talk which will be life changing for me and others!!! ?

  11. Great episode! Thanks, it’s to negotiate hard sometimes. And when you got a no, it’s a game changes to answer ‘What are your concerns?’ – best piece for me!

  12. Big thanks to Alexandra for her education on ‘Negotiation’.

    My sister and I have fallen out and a dear mutual friend of ours has stopped talking to me because of this fall out.

    I’m meeting up with our mutual friend soon, so rather than ask her why she isn’t talking to me, I shall ask her to ‘tell me her concerns’ about our fall out ?. I’m sure I’ll get a better insight into what is bothering her about my sister and I falling out.

    Many thanks.

    Have a beautiful day!

  13. Tara

    Thank U!! That was awesome! Getting the book now! I love “what are your concerns!” – BOOM! Thanks!!!

  14. Where do I even start? I loved this episode! The analogy of the “negotiating” the kayak vs. just sitting in at allowing the current and breeze to move you along. Being curious and asking questions is SO important and such an important part of my business and is where I get results with my clients. And I love asking “What are your concerns?” when you get a no (or an unsure answer) and then having the opportunity to address them!

    • Ismeri -Team Forleo

      Yay Carol — we’re happy you loved this episode! “What are your concerns?” is such a great question, so we’re glad you’ve been using it to explore on those “no”.

  15. Lance Peterson

    Thanks, Alex for teaching me about, “What are your concerns.” this will fundamentally change how I negotiate. Marie, I appreciate ll you do to make the world, and our lives, better.

  16. Amazing as always, Marie!
    Super excited to try these ideas 🙂
    xoxo

  17. GiGi S

    LOVED this episode! “Tell me” instead of “why” – especially “tell me your concerns.”
    Can’t wait to get the book!

  18. Roseanne Bottone

    I was laid off from my job (COVID-19) and I am now job hunting for the first time in 20 years at the age of 63. EVERYTHING that I learned here can be applicable to the interviewing process! I can see great value in simply asking “what are your concerns about hiring me for the position?” to uncover real objections. This will give us (me and the interviewer) the chance to honestly address those issues. I’m going to buy this book because I can see the potential for it helping me in the business world as well as with my relationships with family and friends. I THOROUGHLY enjoyed this episode! Ms. Carter is a FANTASTIC speaker – her students are lucky to have her as a professor. I’m forwarding the link to people who will also benefit from this podcast. Thank you both SO much! (PS Already read “Everything is Figureoutable” and have a notebook full of notes from it. Very inspirational!) (PPS I appreciate Ms. Carter’s attitude about sisterhood!)

    • Ismeri -Team Forleo

      Hi Roseanne — we’re sorry to hear your job was impacted with the pandemic and are so inspired by your positive outlook. We hope the insights from “Everything is Figureoutable” and this episode serve you in your job search — we’re rooting for you and wish you the very best:)

  19. Mary

    I needed to hear this today, I had an incident happen where I wanted to ask for something I needed and was full of fear. Thank you so much.
    I have loads of strength to ask on behalf of others and not for myself.
    This has followed me all my life and I continue to work on it, I am very fortunate to be in an intimate relationship where I am feeling more safe and get to practice asking for what I want and need, feeling grateful.

  20. Hello lovely ladies from Sweden! Thank you for this excellent podcast.
    Spirit is never too late and there were so many messages in this show for me. I felt pangs several times … pangs of truth.
    Reminder to myself: Reaffirm my values and write them down. DO IT! It’s time I focus on this again and re-mind myself why I signed up for this whole running my own business thing again. 🙂
    “What are your concerns”? Whoa! Woman! That is an excellent question! And so unassuming and completely open and offering a full gammut of God knows what can come at you. Scary yet exciting!
    “Assuming the best in each of us going forward”. YES!! I want this reminder and I needed this.
    Big hugs and the best to you both!
    Åsa

  21. Suzanne

    Such a wealth of knowledge!!! I wanted more and I am looking forward to getting her book.

    Loved start with the problem you want to solve and always come from a place of curiosity and discovery.

  22. Sheila Dziezynski

    This was one of the best podcasts ever, for me. It spoke to so much I work on and i LOVE the questions. Tell me about… what are your concerns… ? I also had a similar experience family experiences and know that much of what occurred was based in Fear and Guilt. Thank you for helping to negotiate life and work and .. balance. Thank you.

    • Ismeri -Team Forleo

      Yay Sheila — we’re so glad you enjoyed this episode and hope these lessons continue to serve you as you negotiate life and work!

  23. Ivana

    Every segment of this discussion was eye/mind opening. So many helpful ideas. I really liked the kayak negotiating story. There is always someone steering, so it better be me! And appreciating the other side with the question ‘what is your concern’… because I am so guilty of assuming the worse. Thank you so much for all the knowledge that you share with us!

    • Renee – Team Forleo

      I loved the kayak metaphor, too! Such a light bulb moment. Thank you for sharing your insights with us, Ivana! ?

  24. Wow! I took notes! We often get defensive or off when we hear a no as an answer and asking the right question to acknowledge the other persons concerns was very eye opening! It truly brings a change!
    I would also add to this conversation that the energy we put into our “how” also matters a lot!

  25. Anamaria

    This was such a good reminder that looking inwards is just as important as looking outwards when it comes to getting what you are after. And that you should be steering your kayak, otherwise someone else will do the steering for you!

    I also really loved the “what are your concerns?” approach – as Alexandra explained it, I realized this is the approach I’ve been using for nearly my entire career and it was nice to hear it summed up so clearly in that one phrase.

    Thank you, Marie and team, for sharing yet another insightful conversation with us.

  26. Love the Qs beginning with “Tell me …” — so much more open than “What is …”) because it naturally evokes more detail rather than shaved-down bullet points.
    I’m overseas and not able to receive shipments, so I depend on Kindle for getting books. So bummed that Ask for More isn’t available on Kindle. Any idea when that may change?

    • Renee – Team Forleo

      So true, Janet! People naturally want to explain and dive into how they’re feeling, and our questions can help them share more. Great thoughts!
      I’m not sure about the Kindle edition, though you could reach out to Alex and ask: https://alexcarterasks.com/

  27. Ask yourself everyday, ‘What am I *feeling* today?’ and writing down the answers. That way, we can get our own emotions out of the way and get on with the business of living our best day, as our best self.

  28. Nishi

    Loved the show. Thank you for bringing these conversation to the world.
    I shared it with more women and they feel empowered.
    Thank you again!
    Cheers to Sisterhood!

  29. I loved this episode and so many aha! moments. I have been that person letting my kayak drift along, because I did not feel I had a right to ask for more. But now I have such a great reason: for all the women coming up behind me. A game changer!

    • Renee – Team Forleo

      Woohoo! Yes! It’s so important to be a role model for those coming after us. Thank you for these insights, Clare, and happy travels in your kayak! ?

  30. hi, that was very very good, thank you. There was so so much valuable for me in your conversation that helped.

    I will get the book. Just need to keep this short for now.

    Assume the best in people, of people, about people. Yes, I believe that is the best thing to do.

    One thing I struggle with and have for a long long time. Since I assumed all were like me, kind and wanting to be kind to others. Then I slowly realized that men I was with for example, were wanting me to be crushed down, feel bad about myself, and feel scared, intimidated, not capable etc. (some may call this narcissistic abuse) Where one person assumes the other is doing the same. Trying to build a strong relationship and build the other up.

    But then finally, I learned this is not true when someone is abusing the other. They want to hurt, get the other dependent on them, make them feel incapable, worthless etc

    What about this? I really don’t know how to think of this kind of situation. thank you. And well, I have had it so much of my life, it is difficult to trust anyone who is kind and wanting to help or lift me up etc.

    Can you tell me your thoughts about all this? thank you so much

  31. oh, one more.

    How do women who grew up to believe ( taught through generations) that they do not deserve a salary or to work or to have plenty of money to support all needs and goals in life change this belief? (and that they are not capable of supporting themselves abundantly or comfortably or of managing money) change their beliefs and life?

  32. oh sorry, last comment, I would love responses…..thank you

  33. Amy

    I’m a questioner by nature, so I ask “why?” a lot. The tip to change it to “Tell me more about…” was eye-opening!

  34. SO GREAT! So much of this I have to say if I may, I speak of in my own sessions with clients. On the topic of negotiation, Chris Voss has been a notable favourite of mine and I’m sooo happy to have now been introduced and learned of Alexandra Carter – thank you so much for such a great conversation and sharing such value. I’ll be resharing this!!!

    Lisa xo

  35. “what are your concerns?” is the total game changer I cannot WAIT to use it- but yes, we teach others how to treat us – and asking for more more because it helps the other women coming up behind me is indeed a beautiful and noble reason in itself!

    • Renee – Team Forleo

      Yas! I loved that tip, too. What a great entry-point for folks to share their objections with you. Let us know how it works for you, Jeanne, and thanks for being in our world. ?

  36. You always have the best content!

  37. Lisa

    This is awesome! “What are your concerns?” ??. I just purchased the book, can’t wait to read it.

  38. Assuming what is on peoples minds, I’m aware of that, but what really made sense was the role of our own fear and guilt in it. Powerful! Thank you xx

  39. Declaring your own worth benefits those people around you! Thank you for this empowering mindset shift. Cannot wait to read your book : )

  40. Rachel

    The bit that stayed with me was negotiating / asking for what you want need not be manipulative and can be mutually beneficial. Steering your canoe successfully down the river and not getting stuck in the eddies or capsizing in the rapids is not self centred, the consequences of just drifting aren’t helpful to you or the person youre negotiating with. I’ve recently asked for a job change at work and been feeling bad for asking but your words made me see if I get it I’ll be happier and more likely to stay longer and be more effective and productive. Everyone’s a winner.
    It was that and don’t be afraid of a no, My request got ignored originally and made me doubt myself. You’re right I don’t need to hide in shame, there is nothing wrong in asking.

    • Renee – Team Forleo

      Love this perspective, Rachel! So glad you grew the courage to ask for what you need at work. And you’re absolutely right –– there’s no shame in asking, and there’s no shame in following up if you don’t hear back. Thank you for sharing your heart with us, and we’re honored you’re here. ?

  41. Gaudy

    I got the book, I really liked her and the way she sees life and people. Thanks for sharing and guiding the interview in a way that we can get so much out the guest <3

  42. Erica

    Fear and guilt – when Alex paused I knew exactly what she was going to say – it’s like I’ve known it intellectually but all of a sudden I feel like I get it in my heart!

    • Jayasri — Team Forleo

      I love that, Erica. It reminds me of the phrase, “The longest journey we’ll take is from our head to our heart.” So glad you’re feeling this, we are too. xo

  43. Amber Campion

    This woman is so compelling! Great interview.

  44. Sara Shoham

    I loved the thought that asking for more helps others in my field. And I truly believe in that.
    Thanks for the empowering talk

    • Jayasri - Team Forleo

      Isn’t that a beautiful thing, Sara? We’re so glad you took this message to heart. Thanks so much for sharing here. xo

  45. joyce bangayan

    Hi Marie & Alexandra,

    Both of you are inspiring!
    The kayak story and the “Tell me…”
    Thank you for bringing her as your guest.

  46. “Steering relationships for mutual benefit” a great take away from this conversation.

  47. Very important conversation. My lecturer said something similar years ago (about asking and talking about salary). So true… then and now.
    Thank you for reminder 🙂

  48. Natasha

    I am a believer in the universe providing. This podcast was exactly what I needed. I have come to the realisation I have arrived at my place of unhappiness because I don’t have clarity on WHO I am, so my self worth has been eroded. The highlight for me is ask questions to negotiate. I need to know what I want to do that. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and this basically summarised what I have discovered. A book to be purchased for sure.

    • Jayasri - Team Forleo

      We’re so glad this was a timely reminder for you, Natasha. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with us here. We hope you love the book! xo

  49. I just finished listing to your interview with Alex Carter.
    I’m in tears!
    Such wisdom, and practical ways to ”Steer my kayak ”
    I am going to practice the five questions in the mirror!
    Thank you!

    • Jayasri - Team Forleo

      How beautiful, Ronit! It makes us so happy that this conversation touched your heart. xo

  50. Archita

    Hello Marie and Alexandra,
    Thank you so much for such an eye opener talk.
    Totally loved it.
    The part that intrigued the most was the- steering the boat, the first salary negotiation and the big two’s.
    Thank you , it was brilliant.

  51. So many great ideas here! Thank you!!

  52. Haviva

    Digging deeper and being curious to find out What are your concerns? will really help with my teenage daughter and my small business. I was just watching part of The Wedding Planner with Jennifer Lopez and there is a scene where she exquisitely exhibits the self value negotiating tips Alex speaks about – She says to her boss, When I get this account you will make me partner! And she also alludes to having to decide what font to use on her letterhead if she decides to create her own business…love the synchronicity!

    • Jayasri - Team Forleo

      I love that synchronicity too, Haviva! Your daughter’s lucky to have you teaching her these valuable lessons at such a young age. xo

  53. Hi dear Marie, and Team, and Followers,
    to me the most teaching part was the last bit: when people don’t assume you are at the best, it comes from fear and guilt.
    Also the reminder that remembering to approach others from a place of curiosity and discovery, and how to do this .
    As far as the negotiation part is concerned on the contrary I feel I remain somehow a bit in the dark. I wish I could have benefit from examples or concrete techniques as I am about to negotiate the price of my rent before I enter my new flat.
    So anybody, any tips? 😉
    Thank you for this video and thank you guys if you can steer me out of my ignorance….!

  54. Faten

    Thank you for this beautiful information that everyone needs to know about. You inspire people and influence the way they look toward a subject.
    Asking questions for a person is good for communication when someone is in a good mood, but in case of feeling negative emotions you can cope the emotions after realizing and understanding them inside in order to have a better attitude externally. Its like a quick healing or meditation to prevent hurting others, better expressing yourself and better reveling a view toward an aspect, since if somebody doesn’t share the vision insight, there would be no development from the person like missing a good opportunity if there is desire to do something good in life in whatever subject or workplace, where if its suitable, it could save time and money for effective action. So move with the intention to move on, for growth of you and who surround you.

  55. Harumi

    This was fascinating! What Alexandra said make perfect sense, because it is about respecting each other which is so important and fundamental in relationships. Both my right brain and left brain were impressed. Thank you so much!

    • Julia- Team Forleo

      Love that both sides of the brain were in on this one!

  56. Marisha

    The biggest aha moment was asking, “what are your concerns” and not fearing “no.” Learning that negotiating is about hearing and listening to others and working for mutual benefit puts it in a completely different perspective.

    I also appreciated the encouragement to stay curious, especially about those you’re in long-term relationships with, who you think you know best. Seeking out their heart and where they’re at, and not assuming you know just reaffirmed what I’ve been trying to do lately, which I will continue to do—that is, stop, ask about and listen to those who are closest to me with fresh ears. This hasn’t been easy for me, but it’s something I want to do, and I believe God wants me to do, in love.

  57. I loved finding out about the power of the question: “what are your concerns?”
    I’m going to be asking this question as often as I can!

  58. The best advice for me is asking the question “what are your concerns?” . Thank you!

  59. Wow! Thank you Marie for continuing to introduce me to such wonderful authors.
    Alexandra is superb! I loved her message, her warm and credible style of presenting and the way she brings heart and emotion to what’s often thought of as a “hard” business topic.
    Her analogies helped a lot. I’m not manipulating, I’m steering the kayak (and that kayak is my life!). By asking: “Tell me about…”, I am casting a net to capture a lot of information. I’ll be recommending this to my friends!

    • Julia- Team Forleo

      We’re so happy you loved this one and were able to gain such great perspective. That’s right, steer that kayak!

  60. Mary O'Brien

    Maria and Alexandra

    Thank you so very much, this is by far the most inspiring interview I have watched in 2020.
    Alexandra is so clear and simple in the way she delivers the most important aspects of how we can negotiate. As a Health & Wellness Educator and Meditation Facilitator it’s so important to be fully present and listening. My biggest takeaways are:

    Listening is the foundation for everything worthwhile in life.
    Feeling our own Fears and Guilt when they arise.
    The best question..What are your concerns?

    Thank you so much for this beautiful segment and keep up your great work Marie…the world needs you more than ever now!!!
    Mary
    Ireland

  61. Thank you for this insight today. It comes at exactly the right time. I’m a school teacher and business owner in Brooklyn and getting ready to restart the school year. I’ve been preparing myself to negotiate my time and location. After 16 years of teaching, I’m getting ready to retire this year and walk down the path of full time business ownership and writing. I’ve accumulated over 40 days in my personal sick/short term disability bank. I’ve been with the organization for going on 9 years now; I haven’t had to take many sick days off, and/or never used them for maternity leave. I also won’t be able to cash out on them when I leave the organization.

    I’m getting ready to negotiate time with my bosses (who also happen to be dear friends). I’m excited to explore these questions further with them: What’s the problem I want to solve, What do I need, and What are your concerns? I 100% agree that it’s about steering the direction of the relationship and conversation and am grateful I’ve intuitively done this throughout the years. Fortunately now I feel more confident with these concrete tools, and just knowing it’s hard for other women to ask in the workplace. Schools are not typically places of negotation in structure to begin with. So it’s uncomfortable and new territory and I’m feeling more confident about negotiating my time and location this year. THANK YOU!

  62. Kathryn Motlow

    So very well presented! I loved the question, ‘what are your concerns?’ It just has such a calming effect and is so truly honoring. And, like you said, people want to feel heard. It also really implies curiosity, interest and and a sense or ‘we.’ We are looking at this together. Exploring. Love it!!

    • Julia- Team Forleo

      Yes, Kathryn! What a way to help someone feel seen and heard. Love your takeaway!

  63. Tell me about…. is so good!

  64. I loved this episode and look forward to getting Alexandra’s book. I was sharing the podcast before it was over! Thank you for this introduction Marie!

    • Jayasri - Team Forleo

      Yay! So glad you loved this episode, Claudia. Thanks for sharing! xo

  65. Angie

    Two impactful portions – “Tell me more” and “What are your concerns?”
    I’ve been fortunate to work from home since mid March, when we shut down. I’m now being asked to return to the office at least two days per week from 8a-5p. I don’t agree with us needing to be open to the public this much and have been inquiring with my boss, her boss, HR, and other higher-ups as to why we’re needing to be so accessible. While our positivity rates are still low, I feel like we’re inviting us to end up getting sick with being so open (our office is the first one when you walk in the building and it’s sounding like we’re supposed to be the building receptionist, even though that’s not our role). Anyway, I’ve been asking a lot of why, but will try the tell me more and what are your concerns approach instead.

  66. Obu

    I loved two things – to be truly curious and to assume that everyone is on this earth to do the best they can! Such a beautiful conversation – thank you Marie and Alex…

  67. I think I knew most of these things to be true, but hearing them packaged in such a way brought clarity and makes these strategies more accessible. Additionally, it took me years to realize much of these concepts through trial & error (lots of error!-ha!). So it makes sense that I will be having my kids watch this! -Great presentation!

    • Kristina - Team Forleo

      Yay, Kelly! I love it when I hear something I already knew packaged in a different way that makes things clearer, and we’re so glad this was helpful for you. We hope your kids enjoy it, too!

  68. Actually just took your advice today and I managed to get a bit more than I had hoped. Again, I was fully honest about my expectations and my performance the last year and my boss totally agreed and gave me a bit more than she first wanted to give me.

    • Kristina - Team Forleo

      HOORAY, Bob! This is amazing, and it sounds like you learned a lot from Alex in this interview. Congrats on your raise!

  69. creece

    Thank you so much Marie and your team for continuing to discover and “stirring” in great people into your program.

  70. creece

    “steering” I should say 🙂

  71. Luisa

    Excellent conversation. Thank you, Marie and Alex!. It came at the right time for me. I’ve been having challenges towards negotiating within my family environment right now and that is creating a bit of havoc within our conversations. It has to make sense what Alex said about the questions we have to ask that open up a conversation not just simply a Yes or No answers. Thank you! God bless you both and Alex’s dad for his recover!
    Luisa

  72. Donna

    Encouraging talk! “What are your concerns?” was key for me.
    Also, Alexandra has beautiful skin! It really drew my attention. 🙂

  73. “What are the concerns?” Is one I have not attempted and certainly do today…
    Thank you for sharing.

  74. This is gold. This is something my clients would need to set boundaries in their relationships with their partners. <3 Too many people don't know how to ask for what they want in their relationship.

    • Ismeri -Team Forleo

      So glad you found this conversation useful, Nichole! We can all benefit from setting healthy boundaries within our relationships:)

  75. Nisha Foerstner

    Wow! So dense with wisdom!

    Fear & Guilt are the big 2 that blow up conversations and relationships. Bull’s eye! That landed. Was wondering why I struggle so much. Typically, I think the best of others and am known for remaining inquisitive. But when those two show up, everything is wrecked. So traumatic, also.

    All Alex’s points about first asking yourself what problem to solve and how you are feeling first thing, are also brilliant. Love the Kayak metaphor for negotiation. That’s why I feel “small talk” keeps relations afloat and connected, like it is the current that takes you both along.

    I have ordered Ask For More but while I wait for it I will be asking myself What is the problem I want to solve and What do I need, for starters.

    Thank you Marie!
    Thank you Alexandra!
    For being you!
    Love
    Nisha

    • Amanda - Team Forleo

      Thanks so much Nisha! We’re so glad this hit home with you & we can’t wait to hear how you negotiate your worth moving forward.

  76. “What are your concerns” – YES!

    helping people feel seen, known & heard!

    Wow blessings on the book.

    And yes to miracles & your dad recovering from COVID @Alex!!!

  77. The eye opener for me was where Alexandra was saying that when you fight for more you are fighting for the woman coming after you. Than you for a truly great interview.

    • Amanda - Team Forleo

      Spot on, Olivia – it’s a little easier to fight for your worth when you consider the impact on the women following in your footsteps.

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