In this episode of MarieTV, we do have some adult language. So if you do have little ones around, grab your headphones now.
Marie Forleo: I want to encourage you to take a look at rather than designing realistic goals is, how can you design the most inspiring schedule for your day and your week so that you’re optimizing who you are and what you can contribute to this world?
Marie Forleo: Hello, this is Marie. Who’s this?
Bianca: Hi, this is Bianca.
Marie Forleo: Hey Bianca, welcome. You’re on the MarieTV live Call-In Show and you’re here with myself and Gregory and Team Forleo and we are really excited to talk with you today.
Bianca: I’m very excited, very excited and shy but very excited.
Marie Forleo: You’re going to be great. So tell us what’s happening, and we’ll do our very best to help you out.
Bianca: So, I recently realized that I don’t feel or think that I’ve been setting myself realistic goals in trying to build my online business. And I’m really stuck. I feel very stuck about this because I have this big vision. I have so many things that I want to do and I know that I have to start step by step. And I’m trying to just focus on one thing, but I start to get into it and then something happens and I fall back. I have a really busy offline business so I’m a holistic therapist. And I have a really busy offline business. So, I don’t have much time daily to spend on the online business and building it. And I feel just very stuck on how to set realistic goals. I want to have my website up in about two and a half months’ time. And I feel that’s very realistic, but then when I get into the daily life of it, it doesn’t work out.
Marie Forleo: So first of all, what you’re describing is really common. So thank you so much for sharing so honestly. I’m curious you said it twice. You said, “I get into something and then something happens.” Can you be more specific with us about what this “something happens” actually is?
Bianca: Either I get really much more busy in my offline practice. I have a class that I’m teaching that I have to prepare for. I have a visitor coming in from out of town. I’m also in the midst of training to develop my skills, so I have to sidetrack for training. Then I get tired. Those are those aspects. I feel very, very tired all the time. I’m kind of edging towards burnout, and I’m really trying to be mindful of that. And sometimes I just want to sleep because I‘mI just really tired and I have to be available for those sessions that I do offline with my clients are number one right now.
Marie Forleo: Absolutely. I think you’re describing a situation that many of us have found ourselves in and that many of us can relate to. So, I’m going to ask a few more questions because that’s how I can get a really accurate picture, the best way to support you into having a different experience so you can achieve more and feel good while you do it. So curious as to what time you’re getting up in the morning and how often you are exercising or working out per week. And this is not a question designed to create negativity or judgment. It’s just think about this, like, just we want to get a little snapshot and an assessment.
Bianca: So, I have zero, zero exercise-
Marie Forleo: Thank you for being so honest.
Bianca: … I have a gym in my building. Zero. I wake up, I start at 1:00 and I usually tend to finish at 10:30 p.m. and I go non stop. Sometimes I start at 10:00 and then I go till 10:00 p.m., 10:30 p.m. non stop. And I usually get up two hours before I have to go. So, I usually get up at 11:00 a.m. if I’m working at 1:00 and if I’m working at 10:00 a.m. then I’m getting up at like like 8:30 a.m. and I’m working non stop till evening time.
Marie Forleo: Great. So, this is the place that we need to look because it’s not necessarily about being able to set realistic goals. But I think it’s actually taking a further step back and setting yourself up for success. Starting with how you’re designing your day, what time you’re getting up, some of the first things that you’re doing during the day, and making sure that you’re scheduling yourself so you’re not jam-packed. Because I know for any of us humans, right, we’re not built like computers. You can’t see this, but I’m holding up my laptop right now. Computers are made to run non stop, right? We can turn them on, we can hammer away all day with not taking a break. And pretty much they’re going to keep running day after day because they’re a machine.
But we humans are built differently. And if we don’t architect our day, in the right way, if we don’t build in rest, exercise, hydration, give ourselves free open space, white space, just to dream or to think or to play. We are going to put ourselves in that position where burnout is a real thing. And then it’s going to put us so far back that it’s going to take 10 times more to even just get back to base zero nevertheless reaching our biggest dreams. So, I know this may not be the answer that you are thinking of. But I want to encourage you to take a look at rather than designing realistic goals is how can you design the most inspiring schedule for your day and your week so that you’re optimizing who you are and what you can contribute to this world?
And I’ll tell you something, Bianca. I am someone who believes in a philosophy called simplify to amplify that less is more. It’s been one of the secrets that’s allowed me over the last two decades to continue to not only achieve things that are really important to me in my business, but to expand and grow in what I’m capable of taking on and to do so in a way where I’m not burnt out, where I’m not getting sick. I’m going to knock on wood right now, just because I’m a little superstitious, and that’s what I like to do. But it’s actually been several years since I’ve been sick, and I’ve done more in these years than I’ve ever done possible. I’m probably in one of the best shapes of my life. I feel really good. Now, by the way, I’m not saying all this to say, “Hey, look how great I am.” Because I’ve also put myself into places where there’s burnout, where I’ve gotten sick, where I felt like crap, where my relationships were on the line.
So, I’ve been on both sides of this equation. And I can tell you that one of the biggest differences that I made that allowed me to create the results that I’m really proud of, is designing my day with intention. And being really, really clear about when I’m going to bed and what I’m waking up. I’ll give you an example. Just last night, my stepson came over, we were all having dinner. It was a really beautiful time. And somebody said, “Hey, why don’t we have some wine?” And I knew that today was a day for filming to me. I knew that I wanted to wake up at about five o’clock in the morning and start writing and doing other things that I had to do. Other folks had wine, I did not. I made sure I got to bed by 10:00 pm so that when I woke up this morning, right, I was a little tired, but I actually felt great. And I was able to do everything I wanted to do.
So, my recommendation for you is to take a step back, to look at your calendar and to start designing an ideal day, week and month, and scale back. We want you to do less, so you can accomplish more. And I guarantee most of us have little pockets of places, I certainly always look for them. They’re almost like weeds that grow up in our calendar, whether it’s looking at technology, or there’s just certain habits that we have. I can say that one for you right now is just not moving your body. And I know I’m just reminding you of something that you already know. But I think all of us need reminders from time to time to get back into the practice of what we know is going to be best for us.
That when you move your body, you don’t even have to work out for a full hour. It could be 20 minutes every day. It can be some yoga, it can be some things that you’re doing on an app from your phone, it could be walking around the block and getting fresh air. But that movement energizes you, it helps your mind be able to focus more clearly and more succinctly on whatever you’re doing so you actually accomplish more in less time. I’ve seen this happen in my own career time and time again. I’m going to pause right now. And I want to see if Gregory wants to add anything because he’s nodding up and down.
Greg Patterson: Well, yeah, because I’m in the same spot. You know what I mean? And I feel like one thing that you said architect our day. I think that’s personally going to help me as well because it’ll keep me on track. And there’s little other nuances that pop up. I can almost sort them into my next day or the following day if I stay focused. And then I’m also thinking, just Bianca personally too, asking for help is such a huge thing that I don’t do. And I’m like, “Well, it’s my dream. It’s my business. It’s my goals. It’s my day.” But other people can help us achieve those as well and one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned recently, even here on MarieTV, I’ve personally gone through some things that I needed to ask for help in delegating some tasks so that the job got done. That might be something to look at as well as. Just say, “I might need a little help.”
Marie Forleo: Think about it like if you were building your dream house and you had this beautiful piece of property, and you had the ability to build whatever was going to be the home of your dreams. You wouldn’t do it haphazardly. You wouldn’t just go in and start slapping some wood around. First, you would architect it, you would design it on paper. And once you designed it on paper, you would have much more likely of a chance to have that dream house built than if you didn’t. And we could do the same things with our days, with our weeks, with our months, and cumulatively that adds up to our lives. So, I don’t know if any of this is resonating for you let me know. But I know it’s completely possible for you, Bianca, to turn this ship around.
Bianca: Yes, it’s resonating with me for sure. I just still feel overwhelmed by it. But looking at it from the point of view of how inspiring schedule for the day.
Marie Forleo: Yes. And just know that you’re your most important asset in your life. Meaning you’re the most important asset that you’re bringing to your therapy sessions, into your clients. You’re the most important asset that you’re bringing to your mission in this world, which is to help people heal. So to take that first part of the day, and devote it to taking care of you, again, through movement and exercise. If meditation is something that you’re into, or maybe you’re into prayer or journaling. I know that for me, meditation has been incredible because my brain is very, very active and it helps me clear the slate for the day and stay really, really focused.
And then also reviewing what I actually have to get done. So looking at my journal, looking at exactly what needs to happen today so that I don’t get taken off track by the things that can pop in my inbox or if someone texts or there’s a fire that has to go out, I know precisely what I need to get done in order to feel successful for the day. And by the way, that’s not 25 things. That’s usually two or three and I know anything beyond that is a bonus.
Marie Forleo: So one last thing that I’ll share with you, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You’re such a beautiful human being, you’re working so very hard. And I can tell you this, that the path to not only getting more done, but to enjoying this beautiful adventure we have called life is to be kind to you. That really is the secret that allows everything else to unfold.
It’s going to permeate your relationship with your clients. It’s going to inspire you to do higher-level work, and you’re going to have this feeling of being burnt out and constantly chasing your dreams. That’s just going to start to melt away. There’s no race, my love. I know we live in a culture that kind of pushes us to hustle 24/7 and then never take a break. But you know this in your heart, it’s not a sustainable model, and the only one that can make the changes that are necessary to have you have this experience of life is you.
Bianca: Yeah. Thank you.
Marie Forleo: You’re so welcome.
Bianca: Thank you so much. I’m very honored to be on the Call-In Show. So honored to speak to you.
Marie Forleo: Well, please do us a favor. Will you keep us posted? I’d love you to take some time today and just start to map out what would it look like for you to have a day where you feel energized, where you took care of you first? What time would you wake up in the morning? What time would you go to sleep? What are the kind of activities that you would put into that day? And where can you start to scale back? Where can you find those pockets of time to leave some open space?
Where can you say no to something that you might be cramming in because you know what? Having a full night’s rest or taking 20 minutes to meditate is actually going to help you achieve more with less stress. So take some time today to do that. And then most importantly, you’re going to have to implement but I’d love you to keep us posted and let us know how it goes. I can promise you just a week’s worth of working out in the morning even for 20 minutes can change your whole mindset, your whole energy level, and how you approach each and every day.
Bianca: Thank you so much. I will definitely keep you posted
Marie Forleo: Yeah.
Bianca: And I look forward to keeping you posted. Thanks.
Marie Forleo: Thanks, Bianca. We believe in you.
Greg Patterson: God bless.
Bianca: Thank you so much. Thank you.
Marie Forleo: Bye darling.
Bianca: Bye guys.