Let’s all unite with the sound of Om.
What? Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching Marie TV, the place to be if you want to create a business and life you love. And this is Q and A Tuesday and today’s question comes from Spencer and Spencer writes, hi Marie, I’m a 16 year old boy and though I know I’m not part of your typical demographic. I absolutely love your advice and videos. Here’s my problem. I’m enthusiastic and ambitious, but lately I’ve been stuck in this negative mindset due to the fact I never get anything done. I love trying new things and going out of my comfort zone, but I never follow through. I get extremely motivated to start something as if my life is going to change and I’m going to become a new person, but the excitement dies and eventually I lose interest. This has become such a problem that it’s affecting my confidence. I’ve stopped feeling like I can accomplish anything and also stop trying new things. How can I follow through with something I’ve started without losing interest? Thanks, Spencer.
Great question Spencer. And by the way, I am so honored that you love and that you watch Marie TV. Just so you know, people of all age groups from 193 countries around the world, watch Marie TV. So you are in good company. So here’s the thing, Spence, by the way, can I call you Spence? You don’t have a problem young man. You have a gift and you haven’t been taught yet how to fully leverage it. Here’s the thing, you are creative. You’re a risk taker, you love life, you’re ambitious. Those are all beautiful things. I suspect you may be a little bit like me, someone who is multi-passionate. So you get very excited about life and at times you can feel a little ADD. Now here’s the thing, the world’s greatest artists and thinkers and entrepreneurs also share this gift. So I want you to be grateful that you have it.
Now this gift you have, which is really a strength also has its dark side too, which you’re experiencing right now, and I can really relate to this because I’ve been frustrated in the same exact way. The good news is I have a lot to say on this topic and I really think we can help you. So let’s dive right in.
First thing I want to talk about is permission to dabble. So wandering time, play time, just checking things out. That’s not always a bad thing. You have to understand that dabbling around can fuel your creativity, it can really feed your soul. I understand that you want to learn how to follow through and we will get to that, but I want to make sure that you don’t lose this miraculous sense of curiosity that you have because it’s really important and to help you remember, here’s a little PSA from the armed forces.
Private do you like to try new things?
Ma’am yes ma’am.
Does everything you try have to change your life?
Ma’am no ma’am.
What does clarity come from private?
Does it come from thought?
Ma’am no ma’am.
Dabbling is a form of engagement private.
Permission to dabble, ma’am.
Permission granted you little maggot.
Thank you ma’am.
Yes, I had onions for lunch.
I can tell ma’am.
You heard private Jams. Clarity comes from engagement, not thought, and you do have permission to dabble. So here’s the thing, Spence, you just got to set up some clear dabble time, meaning you get to try out all kinds of things and you’re not going to pressure yourself to follow through. So remember this, if it’s dabble time, you have permission to dabble.
Next, I want you to crank your cod con, which is not to be confused with shake your bon bon. Cob con is just a Maria fide way of saying your cognitive control, your ability to manage your attention. Now, researchers have found that the singular mental ability predicts success and happiness in school, work, and life. Now, here’s the thing, Spence, at 16 years old, it’s probably true that your cognitive control is not as strong as it’s going to be in a few years. But here’s the thing, you do not have to wait around for this thing to naturally get better. There are three steps that you can take that’ll not only crank your cod con, but it’ll help you build focus habits that’ll serve you for life.
Step one is meditate on the daily. So Dr. Adam Gazzaley from the University of California calls meditation, a cognitive control exercise that enhances our ability to self regulate internal distractions. While you’re free to find your own practice, 10 minutes a day for me works miracles.
Step number two is define completion. So Spencer, once you’ve had dabble time and you figure out you really want to move to completion on a project, you have to define exactly what that looks like. So for example, let’s say you want to learn how to animate. So would completion be being able to animate a full length feature for Pixar films? Probably not. You might want to set completion as something like being able to animate a one minute video that you can upload and show your friends. When you define what completion looks like in advance, you make following through a lot more attainable.
Step number three, you want to practice wearing blinders. So they often put blinders on race horses to help them stay focused and not get distracted. And we human beings can do the same thing for ourselves. You have to train yourself to have a one track mind. And it’s easier said than done, but here’s the thing. If you find yourself getting distracted and wanting to jump over to another project, I want you to let this question be your guide and your blinders. Is what I’m doing right now, moving me towards completion? Finally, a little bonus on follow through. Now, if you haven’t seen our other episode all about following through, you should really watch it because it’s awesome. Okay, Spence, let’s wrap this up with a tweetable.
Creative success means balancing your love of starting things with a habit of finishing them. I know you can do this, Spencer, so please keep us posted. Now, I would love to hear from you, what’s the single biggest fall through insight that you’re taking away from this episode or conversely, if you’ve struggled with follow through and you’ve been able to overcome it, what’s the single biggest strategy that’s really helped you? As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at marieforleo.com so go there and leave a comment now.
Did you like this video? I certainly did. If you did, subscribe to our channel and I would be so appreciative if you shared it with your friends and if you want even more resources to create a business in life that you love plus some insights from me that I only talk about an email. Come on over to marieforleo.com and sign up for email updates. Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on Marie TV. Wow. This is a power ring. Elsa. Damn. Apple, apple, apple, apple, apple. Right? Private do like women over 35 and leather pants?
Ma’am hell yes ma’am.
Private would you like to come back to my barrack so I can teach you a little something?
Ma’am it would be a dream, ma’am.
Yes sir. Come on back.