Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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Being discerning with your time, energy and attention is a must in today’s overstretched and overcommitted world. The ability to say no, gracefully and honestly, in a wide variety of situations is one of the most powerful skills you can develop.

As Warren Buffett once said, “You’ve gotta keep control of your time and you can’t unless you say no. You can’t let people set your agenda in life.”

“No” might be a complete sentence, but a few more words can make it a kind one. Click To Tweet

You may have heard the adage, “No is a complete sentence.” But let’s be real. Would you ever respond to a dear friend, family member or a colleague with a curt “no” and expect those relationships to grow? Not so much.

That’s why I’m excited for today’s episode. We’re covering an aspect of saying no that we haven’t explored before: how to say no to your boss, or anyone in a perceived position of influence or authority.

You’ll learn the two most common reasons to say no in this context and suggestions for how to do it right. This is crucial even if you’re an entrepreneur, because at some point you might find yourself in a collaborative project that requires you to say no while still moving the project ahead.

Plus, below this video you’ll get access to a free bonus download, The Ultimate Guide To Saying No: 19 word-for-word scripts to help you say no to just about anything — all with grace and compassion.

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

Listen Now

As promised, here’s your bonus download to help you put this to use right now:

Goal Setting Worksheet

Bonus
Cheat Sheet

19 word-for-word scripts to help you say no with grace and compassion.

Click To Download

If you’d like more MarieTVs related to the topic of saying no, check these out:

Now, I’d love to hear from you.

In the comments below, answer one or both of these questions:

First, when it comes to saying no — what specific situation do you find the most challenging and why? Is it saying no to friends or saying no at work or, for many creatives, saying no to yourself?

Second, what area of your business or life might improve dramatically if you said no more often?

In your comment, share as much detail as you can. Because thousands of incredible souls come here each week for insight and inspiration. Your story may be just what someone else needs to have a major breakthrough!

Important: please share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. may be removed.

Thank you so much for watching, sharing and spreading the word!

You continue to make this one of the brightest, most inspiring places online.

P.S. Know somebody who needs a nudge to say no more often? Give ‘em the courage and tools they need by sending them this episode.

With all my love and appreciation,

XO

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Add a Comment

132 comments

  1. So true! Oftentimes the way you speak is more important than the content of the speech..Thanks for sharing!
    Best regards,
    Dmitry Sazonov

  2. I have 3 kids and they often come home saying, “Mom, all the parents (i.e. moms) are supposed to sign up for…” I often say no, but then feel angry about it. Who are these people trying to dictate my life, and now I look like an asshole because I’m the parent not participating in the egg hunt for my 15yo soccer team? Or hosting a team dinner the night before I bring goody bags, and raising money for fundraiser. My problem isn’t the saying “no,” but releasing the guilt and anger.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      I totally hear you, Mary. I think moms get this worse than anyone else – especially because there’s always someone who is “happy” to tell you that you’re “not doing enough” – no matter what you do!

      One thing that popped to mind while I was reading your comment is that by saying no and establishing clear boundaries, not only can you say a wholehearted YES to the things that you DO want to do to support your kids, but you’re also setting a great example for them that their boundaries matter too. It could be a really beautiful lesson for them 🙂

    • Maisie

      I hear you, sister! A few years ago, I got up from dinner one night because I had to go to a meeting for some school something-or-other I had volunteered for. “Ugh!” I groaned, “I really don’t feel like going to this meeting!” My husband said, “Why do you volunteer for it then? You say this every time. If you’re going to give your time away, do it for something you’re passionate about. Don’t waste your time on something that feels like a burden. It’s not helpful for you or the school committee.” I remember that now, every time I say no to something. And I don’t feel guilty because in my heart, I know that I am 100% behind the things I DO volunteer for. If I’m not 100% in, I won’t say yes.

  3. Mel

    As an artist, I get inundated with requests for donations of artwork for silent auctions or raffles. It took me longer than it should have to say no (but kindly!). Now, if I really support the charity, I donate money. I’m sure I’m not alone in this quandary!

    • I’m and artist too and I deal with this kind of thing all the time. Especially when friends want free design work and commissions. I’ve found that it’s helpful to have a price list handy to send their way as soon as you can feel the question coming. And good on you for saying no to giving your work away for free! If you don’t value your time and energy, you can’t expect anyone else to either.

    • Jessica

      We also get hit up quite a bit for free donations. We’ve added a blurb on our website about the causes we really love and believe in and ask anyone from those organizations to fill out a request form. Cuts down dramatically on the # of requests we give 🙂

    • sonja

      My Dad always decided at the beginning of the year how many pieces and what price range he would be willing to donate to causes he liked. It made it easy to say no. A practice I use as well with my work.

  4. Cathy

    I think that learning how to say ‘no’ using judgement in and context of each situation is an excellent skill to develop as is communicated here in these excellent resources. Thank you , Marie & Team. The area that I find most difficult to respond saying ‘no’ (or the equivalent) is regarding what I consider personal questions: either about my work. e.g. How much do you earn? Or questions that I know are geared to finding out economic status: where do you live, do you pay rent or own, do you have a car etc. Then there are questions which some people may not find personal but at times I simply do not want to answer such as ‘How old are you?’ Perhaps I am mixing up saying ‘no’ to simply not wanting to respond depending on intention and purpose of the person asking. I truly struggle with this. I sometimes respond with a question such as ‘Why do you ask’? Albeit when I have done that, the person can becomes defensive or says ‘no reason’ and then repeats the request. Wish I were bold enough (and OK with the consequence of possibly offending) to then say ‘well, then I don’t have a reason to answer!’

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      This is such a great comment, Cathy – you can absolutely use some of the techniques we share about saying no or responding in situations like this.

      For me personally, I usually find it’s helpful to have a stock response. For example if someone asks how much you earn, you might say something like “Thanks for asking, however that’s actually not something I share with anyone.” It can also help to have a “rule” or “internal policy” like we shared in the Ultimate Guide, like “it’s my personal policy to not share my financial history.”

      It might sound silly, but you can even practice saying responses like this in front of a mirror – it can help you practice answering firmly while still being kind, so if questions do come up again, you can feel more assured when you respond. I hope this helps!

      • Cathy

        Thank you, Caroline. Very helpful. And I will indeed be practicing in front of a mirror!

  5. Anna

    Oooooh, such a great timing, Marie!
    I’ve been working for myself for a year and a half now. I love the independence and the fact that how much I work translates into how much money I make. BUT! The thing is, I can’t say no to… WORK! And it’s not just a typical form of worcaholism that bugs me. I’m taking tons and tons of work on my shoulders in order to feel financially secure. We all know that there are no guarantees in this world and one has to work hard to move forward. Unfortunately, the result is that I have enough money and I’m smart with it, save it, manage it well, but I don’t have any time (or energy, especially creative one) to work on projects that would move my “business needle”, meaning online presence, blog, youtube, newsletter. And, the truth is, these are projects that excite me. But when you work 10-12 hours, take care of everyday life (shopping, cooking, fixing stuff, etc.) which I drastically limited anyway to the necessary minimum, and exercise a few times a week, there is nothing left! I tried limiting my “me time” and my sleep, but it’s not a long-term solution. The result is that I’m exhausted, frustrated, my saving gradually grow, but my joy disappears. I can’t afford to hire anybody (not just yet ;)). Any advice?

    P.S. A few years back, when I was going through one of the toughest times in my life, your videos pretty much saved my depressed ass and helped me keep fighting 🙂 Thank you for that.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Anna, thank you so much for your beautiful note. We’re so honored to hear that Marie and our work helped inspire you during a really difficult time, and we’re so thrilled to hear you’re hustling and doing so well now ♥

      Your question is a great one, and you’re SO not alone in finding this balance difficult. We actually did a MarieTV episode a while back that talks about this exactly, so I thought I’d pass it along for a few nuggets of wisdom: http://www.marieforleo.com/2015/12/not-miss-your-life/

      • Anna’s response was my own situation last year when I had TOO much work coming in. I finally broke down and started to say no. But then, it’s almost as if I got TOO good at it. Then something even worse happened. I said “YES!” to a really big opportunity that seemed nearly clinched (and thus said “no” to a few others that would’ve gotten in the way of the YES project’s success). Shocker…the YES Project fell through. With nothing else in the pipeline (see: too many “nos”) now I’ve hit a bit of a financial plunge. Like real bad. The good news? It scared me straight and I’m now pivoting/repositioning so I can attract better “yes” projects while “no” projects don’t even come into my view. My point? Saying no to work is admittedly risky. But might lead you down a path that takes you to a place you’d never know existed, had you said yes to #allthethings.

    • Liz Charpleix

      As another self-employed person, might I suggest that you choose this time to put your prices up? This helps to weed out the clients you are less likely to derive pleasure from (smaller, less challenging, less interesting jobs, less money to spend on external providers, perhaps even less reliable payers).
      When I first started out, it was a real big deal to put my prices up, as part of my USP was that I was offering a value-for-money service, unlike bigger firms which offered lower service for higher prices. But it really works, partly because clients value you more, the more you value yourself.

  6. Wow! Great topic! My biggest challenge is saying “No” to my not exactly ideal client, simply because I want more work. That still is a big challenge.
    However, that being said my strategy for saying no nicely is basically saying ” I’m really sorry, but I’ll have to say no. It just won’t work for me at this time”. WITHOUT giving any reasons! The person that’s asking (and I’m not talking about a boss, that’s trickier) wants me to say Yes. They have a need that they want me to fill. So if I give a reason Why I can’t, they will automatically try to solve my problem so that I can say the Yes they want to hear. When I say ” gee, I’m sorry, that just won’t work for me”, all they can say is “Ok! “.
    I learned this the hard way, but it works so well, just wanted to pass it on!
    Thanks for your great show with always great topics!

    • Liz Charpleix

      Chani, you’re spot-on with that. I’ve been caught giving in and regretting it by allowing people to solve the problems I’ve put up as barriers to taking them on as a client. So the broken record (politely expressed) is often the best way to go.

  7. Kim

    I loved this episode! I even shared it in my minimalist group for those having troubles saying no to family and friends with gifts (more clutter) etc.
    Thanks!
    Kim

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Yay, Kim! We’re so glad you enjoyed this episode, and thank you so much for sharing it too 🙂

  8. As always, the synchronicity of MarieTV timing is crazy divine!!
    I used one of these just now – and am feeling empowered and relieved. Thank you.

    My biggest challenge in saying no – is that I want people to like me, and I’m afraid saying no will send them packing.
    Also, apologizing all over the place. I feel I live my life apologizing.
    Time to claim my “no!”. Thank you again!

  9. Lisa Marie Nelson

    Love this video! As a habitual people pleaser, getting on the “no” train has been life-changing. Riding that “no” train *with* tact and class has been instrumental in helping me maintain several working (and personal) relationships while not feeling completely overwhelmed with commitments. Thank you, Marie, for always serving a full helping of life wisdom with healthy dose of “sass”! 😉 Tuesdays will never be the same.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      YES! Looove that first class ticket on the No Train, Lisa!

  10. Heraldo

    Hi, Marie, I’m from Porto Alegre, the capital of the southernmost state in Brazil. Great video! I can’t stress enough how lucky I feel to have “overseas access” to your always insightful, useful and straight-to-the point advice and practical suggestions. Thank you!

  11. Kim

    This definitely gets easier as I get older…but there are still a few areas in my work where I could prune. As a creative, I get so enthusiastic about tons of projects–I want to write for dozens of publications for example, and apply to every fair that contacts me– rather than focusing on fewer, targeted places. If I said no in my work more often, I would have more clarity of purpose and more time to enjoy simple things like working in my studio.
    It’s hard though at the beginning of my artistic journey as I want to establish myself in my new field–I want to get my work out there–so it’s a constant process of looking for the middle path. Great discussion!

  12. Chlo

    How do you say no when you think it’s unethical? I just quit/remove myself from the situations…

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Chlo, thank you for watching and taking a moment to comment. This is a really good question, and it’s always so important to make sure you’re not taking on things that you’re uncomfortable with, or that are unethical or illegal.

      How you might respond depends on the situation – quitting or removing yourself from the situation entirely can be a really good strategy, especially if you’re fearing for your safety. It doesn’t mean you need to address it in that moment with that person (or at all), so sometimes the best thing to do is to be kind to yourself and get out of the situation.

      If it’s something that you do feel you can safely address, some of the tips we share in the Ultimate Guide might be helpful. Like if your boss asks you to add customers to an email newsletter list without their permission and they don’t realize that’s illegal, you might address it by saying something like, “Although we can’t add these customers in that way without their permission, I have an idea for a campaign that will allow them to sign up for email updates.”

      Of course if something illegal or seriously unethical is happening, it’s best to contact the police or proper authorities who can help.

  13. Meg

    Hi Marie,
    I find it really tricky to say ‘no’ to my family, boyfriend, friends and anyone that I care about really, which feels like a lot of people. So, I really struggle to say ‘no’ full stop. I don’t like saying ‘no’ to someone when I know I can just shuffle things around and help them out, I feel bad saying ‘no’. The favours seem to be getting bigger and more frequent these days and I get frustrated with myself when I say ‘yes’ to things and then later realise I actually needed that time for my study or better yet, to just chill out and have some down time.

    My personal life with me, myself and I would improve, I wouldn’t be frustrated with myself for being such a push over and I would probably be more productive if I gracefully started adding ‘no’ into my life.
    As per usually, thank you Marie, I get a lot out of your videos.

  14. I was running for U.S. Congress because I really wanted to be part of the solution and lead at a time that I thought it was important for women to get engaged. After one year of giving it my all–including my time, treasure and talent–I was redistricted out of the race. I could have kept going but the odds were not in my favor. I had to say “no.” It just wasn’t my time. Though it was a really tough and sad decision to make, somehow I know this was the right answer and there will be an opportunity that comes from all I learned. Sometimes “no” just means “not now.”

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      I love that, Elizabeth. Trusting the timing of our lives is so important, and it’s so great to remember that “no” doesn’t have to be no forever. Thank you so much for watching and for sharing – hopefully we’ll see you in Congress in the future! 🙂

  15. frank ratrog

    Orang terkadang takut untuk mengatakan tidak tentang sesuatu yang harus di tolak. Katakanlah seseorang menawarkan anda minuman beralkohol, obat terlarang, atau sesuatu yang menurut anda tidak penting. Tetapi masih saja anda menerima tawaran yang diberikan, dan anda tidak mampu untuk berkata tidak hanya demi untuk menghargai perasaan teman anda. Dalam hal seperti ini adalah momen bagi anda untuk mengatakan dengan tegas ” tidak ” agar supaya teman anda yang menawarkan akan tahu betul yang mana anda tidak mudah dipengaruhi.

  16. Sarah

    My hardest area to say no is to my husband and his friends. (He would say “our friends” here, because he believes they also care about me, but they often have entirely different values, and certainly don’t share my vision for the life and work that I love.) They are often trying to get us to come out with them, and my husband is such a great go-along social guy, he is very susceptible to saying yes when I’m not there, which means I have to play the No card later, or leaving myself out in order to pursue my vision. I’m scared to leave myself out, because I am committed to my relationship, but playing along often means I am short on sleep, don’t get to eat/exercise as well as I want to, and don’t put the time I want to into building my vision. I have tried the Budgeted No, where I do go out with them, but only X times/month. However, no one but me seems to be able to keep with the time I do go out, only the times I miss. He certainly respects that I’m already booked with something, but is it reasonable that I have to keep my calendar booked ahead (for myself) in order to protect my work/self time? Is that how everyone else manages?

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      I think that’s a wonderful idea, Sarah. If you have time booked for YOU and you have it actually penciled in (or blocked off in Google calendar) in advance, not only does it help you stay on track with your vision and goals, but it helps set boundaries and expectations.

      Another thing I’ve found really helpful is to have personal “rules.” Something like saying “I’d love to hang out! As a rule I don’t stay out late on weeknights, however Friday would be great” makes it a lot easier to say no. This could also work with your personal work appointments, so you could reply with “We can definitely hang out next week. I work on Tuesday-Thursday evenings so I’m booked at that time, but Saturday would be great.”

      It doesn’t necessarily make it easier if people don’t understand what you do or if they feel like you should be available all the time, however I always try to take to heart that we can actually dictate how people treat us by having kind, clear boundiares. That way we can more fully enjoy the time we do spend with friends and family without being resentful, so it’s a big win all around.

      That’s just a few thoughts, but I hope it helps!

  17. I am learning to say NO to my friends.
    If I say NO more often my relationship will improve.
    Thank you. Help me lots

  18. Gyanendra

    Hello Marie,
    Thank you for this wonderful episode on “NO”. I often find myself saying yes in most of the situations may be not to hurt the other person. I feel that when saying “NO” out right could end up in an argument and actually no one wins one either. So saying yes would rather give a little bit of space to acknowledge one’s point of view and reconcile the same with a different approach. It is tough though in many given situations and it feels like you are caught in a trap for saying yes. Hope to learn saying NO especially to get out of awkward situations of obligation.

  19. Dear Marie,
    I just had this breakthrough and shared it with my bschool 2018 group.
    A woman I met and had a conversation with a while ago contacted me to pick my brain because her husband wanted to open a restaurant or work as a chef. They are new in town and they wanted my advice and connections.
    Here is what I answered:
    Hi! Of course I would love to help. I have pivoted my business to focus precisely on this type of requests that I get often which is business consulting and strategic planning. I know I can help and we can meet at your convenience. Normally I charge $100 for an hour of consultation and discussion but because I know you I will be happy to do an hour and a half so we can really come up with a good plan.
    She answered: That sounds amazing Gabby. And I’m sure you rate is super reasonable. However at this point, he doesn’t have a budget for it.
    I ended with: Ok, let me know if you change your mind and need faster results.
    She ended with:Ok I’ll keep you posted.

    Everybody was super supportive and I felt like I gave myself value and not roped into doing something else for free.
    Would love to hear your thoughts.

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      This is great, Gaby! We’re so glad that you were able to practice saying “no” and have an honest conversation with your friend that left you both feeling supported– that’s truly the goal. Saying no to friends can be awkward, especially when it comes to business, but setting boundaries will ultimately help you both get the results you’re hoping for. Thanks so much for sharing!

  20. Lindsay

    Great video! I just struggled saying ‘no’ to a client the other day and it was SO hard! I’m a fitness trainer and health coach who specializes in orthopedic treatment (i.e. I help people reverse arthritis and chronic joint pain), but I also teach a drop-in high intensity interval class on Saturday mornings for fun.

    A lady showed up to the class who promptly informed me that she had two active injuries: her shoulder was bothering her/she couldn’t lift her arms above her head, and her foot was hurting so that even walking hurt! I asked if she had been to see a doctor or physical therapist about either injury. She replied that no, she hadn’t, wasn’t interested in it, and would simply modify any exercises.

    Here’s the problem: I could give her exercises to get around her shoulder pain, but there was NOTHING I could give her that wouldn’t bother her foot! We would be running, jumping, lunging, skipping, squatting, doing push-ups, mountain climbers, burpees, and more. If simply walking hurt, this was clearly not the right class for her.

    I struggled with whether or not to allow her to do the class. She was very adamant about staying, yet I didn’t want to be liable if she further injured herself. I ultimately decided it was too much of an ethical issue. My personal policy (and the policy of the fitness center where the class is held) is not to train anyone who is actively injured, has any contraindications (major reasons why they shouldn’t exercise), or who I strongly believe isn’t a good fit for the program.

    When I kindly told her I didn’t feel this was the right class for her as she was actively injured, she got SO LIVID! She immediately made a scene, started yelling, throwing things, insulting me, and quite literally had a temper tantrum. I knew I had done the right thing but I still spent the rest of the afternoon in tears because of how much she turned her reaction into a personal attack on me.

    How are we as people supposed to stand up and do the right thing – including saying ‘no’ to others when appropriate – when no matter how kind we are, WE are the ones made out to be the villains? Not fair and not fun.

    • Liz Charpleix

      Lindsay, you did do the right thing.
      One thing about saying ‘No’ that I struggle with is fearing that in some way I’m being rude or hurtful to the other person (despite being polite in my refusal). But I remind myself that when they are asking me to do something against my better judgement, they are not considering whether it is harmful to me.
      It’s not good to think along the lines of ‘tit-for-tat’ ie ‘you’re being rude to me so I can be rude to you’, but I find it helps to strengthen my resolve when I can reassure myself that in spite of their rudeness to me, I am being polite to them while caring for myself.

      • Lindsay

        Thank you, Liz! I really needed to hear that.

  21. This was one of my biggest struggles for a long time.
    I had to literally train myself to say no.
    I did this by first saying no to everything and once I got comfortable doing that, I started balancing it out and saying yes to things only if I really wanted to do them.

  22. Eve

    Thank you for this helpful video. and the free download. You are such an inspiration to me of how to nourish the heart and soul of others in a balanced way. Saying no is truly an art. I hate disappointing others. Saying yes to my own life, means I have to say no to those things that would pull me away from following my path, fulfilling my destiny. I have the hardest time saying no, when I have initially said yes. I am intuitive and follow inner guidance. also tune into the energies of the outer world daily. I modify my activity accordingly. So when I have gotten insight that changes my plans, how do I tactfully communicate it this to the other party? Grateful for the cheat sheet. I am sure it will have some helpful tips I can use.

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      We’re happy to hear this video was so helpful for you, Eve, and we hope the “no” cheat sheet comes in handy. Saying no after we’ve already agreed to something can be tricky, but it’s part of being human and knowing that things change. It’s clear that you want to live your life with integrity which is a beautiful thing– and likely one of the biggest reasons others want to be around you! If you find yourself needing to decline something you’ve committed to, I’d love to encourage you to think about how you’d want someone else to feel if they were in your shoes, and practice giving yourself the same gentleness and grace. I’d also love to share an episode of MarieTV that may provide an extra bit of clarity and encouragement for you: https://www.marieforleo.com/2014/05/backing-out-gracefully

  23. GREAT tips on making “no” empowering and empathetic rather than scary and scornful! By the way…your hair is FABULOUS in this episode, Marie! Werk it guurrrl!!

  24. Veronika

    I find it hardest to say ‘no’ in situations where I’ve said ‘yes’ before. Sometimes I’ve made a ‘semi-agreement’ with somebody, and then the situation develops in a different way than I expected, and I want to pull out. That’s the hardest ‘no’ for me.

  25. Eve

    I just read the cheat sheet and surprise there was video addressing the very topic I mentioned above. How to say no when you have already said yes. I am just finally realizing that I am an empath. I am sensitive to things that a lot of other people are not. Given the world we live in these days, I have to be careful, like a cat, open the door, and sniff, tune into what is going on before I rush into the day. Sometimes, esp. now, I pick up energy going on out there that is not in my best interest to engage in. I am magnet for certain types of people. and I can drown, drain my life force if that energy is too strong. I may not know this until like the cat, I open that door and sniff, tune into the energy. So maybe offer an alternative. and explain this to my friends, cohearts that are not sensitive in the same way.

  26. Saying no when you are not available or need to have more “white space,” for yourself of other projects could mean that this person or group may not ask you again, you could miss out on a high profile assignment, or they may not include you in decisions or actions that affect you.

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      We totally hear that concern, Maureen. If you don’t want to close the door on an opportunity completely, you can always suggest a counter-offer or give an alternative that will help you stay engaged without overextending your commitments. Be sure to check out the Ultimate Guide to Saying No cheat sheet for some simple scripts to help you do just that!

  27. Divya

    Saying No is easy Marie, but making people accept your “no” is extremely difficult. Even now as I type this I doing work my colleague dumped on my head. When I say “no” people around me think that I am joking! 🙁

    • Liz Charpleix

      Divya, I have exactly the same problem, I guess because I have trained people to see me as something of a pushover. They know that I’ll say ‘Yes’ before I let a discussion turn into a heated argument.
      I did once press the point, when a client demanded that I do some work for him that I was neither legally qualified to do, nor experienced or knowledgeable about. After a lot of back-and-forth ‘You will’, ‘I won’t’, You will’, ‘I can’t’, he spluttered, ‘Oh if only you would dress in jeans and T-shirt, instead of a professional suit, you’d be so much easier to get on with!’ Like dressing casually would change my professional ethics!

  28. Hi,

    Saying No have been a whole learning experience in my life.
    There were times when I say yes, when I had to say No, and I regret it.
    Now, I think in various ways to say no gracefully. It is a thing that should be taught in school.
    Regards,
    Gaby

  29. Evelyn Garing

    I generally keep my commitments except in relationship to plans i have made with a particular person. and that person is very good at triggering guilt in me. I do not have trouble saying no, but some people have trouble accepting this and it is largely due to unhealthy dependency on me. Thank you for this helpful video.

  30. Kit

    Saying no to men who are interested in me sexually. Hands down. You would think that with all the experience I would get better at it, but they’re always trying to find new tactics to get a ‘yes’ out of me.
    Giving them my reasons for saying no hasn’t been effective either, because it usually turns into a debate. Example: ‘I prefer people who don’t look like they’re related to me…’ (Truthfully, but always more reasons than that. Listing them all, however, sounds like you’re putting them down) The response I got: “What if it dyed my hair?” The repose is always taken as a challenge, not as the ‘No’ it was intended.

  31. Shubhangi Kaushik

    Hey,
    Saying No is a bit rude! I’m a kind of a person who always been an outspoken and likes to respond in the more genuine way without blah!blah! I generally don’t believe those who say yes.And intentions are quite different inside; this not only agitates me but also throw down to the gauntlet.As you mentioned, saying No takes lots of courage and commitment; you’ve to justify NO. But yes, this means the person is honest, has his/her strong opinion and could make a great difference in the society. Thanks so much for the today’s episode, because I realized my lacking point which I have to work on and this is why people often find me assertive and rude. And this also gets me into great disappointment.#few more words can make it a kind one.
    gonna do this.
    Tx!
    Shubhangi

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      We’re so glad this episode was helpful for you, Shubhangi! We hope the ideas in the Ultimate Guide to Saying No cheat sheet help give you a boost of clarity and confidence the next time you need to kindly decline an opportunity. Thanks for tuning in today!

  32. Saying no more often would help me stay focused on a smaller list of strategies and stop overwhelm by not doing “all the things”. I believe it would help me find a better balance and learn where to focus my time.
    Thanks for the tips, Marie!
    xo Rachael

  33. As a singer/songwriter, I’ve been asked to perform in exchange for the “exposure” and being able to leave my cards out. Gee, thanks, but, no thanks!

    I’ve done my best to offer a gentle “no” by passing the gig along to someone I know who might welcome such an opportunity.

  34. Barbara Plasker

    I can’t download the Ultimate Guide…
    When I click on the link it takes me to https://app.monstercampaigns.com/c/okcao51z7ui1y5adq7dv/

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      Hi Barbara! The “Click to Download” button triggers a pop-up box where you can enter your name and email address to have the cheat sheet sent to your inbox. If you’re using a pop-up blocker, you can try disabling it on this page, or you can enter your name and email on the page you shared. If you’re still running into issues, please email us at info@marieforleo.com and we’ll be happy to help you access the Ultimate Guide to Saying No. Thanks so much for stopping by!

  35. paddy

    After watching your video and giving it some thought, I think one says yes automatically, without thinking it through, and regretting it later! I am going to stop myself from automatically saying yes, and will start responding with – ‘hey, that sounds great, but let me get back to you’ kind of answer.
    I think the automatic ‘yes’ is to not hurt the other party, but ends up with you regretting
    and hurting yourself!

  36. Jamie

    This was so helpful! I have a really hard time saying No to the women who approach me that are involved in Direct marketing businesses platforms. I’m in the beauty industry and weekly I get approached. Feel like even when I say I really support you as an entrepreneur I’m just not interested in getting involved on any level with direct marketing they still come back at me. I understand that a lot of it is the and Tallardy that happens once you start working with one of these companies and become a representative for them. So I find it challenging when I say no in a nice way that the Noel is still not being accepted.

  37. Luze

    Hi everybody! Loved this episode and surely it had a perfect timing for me. I’m a psychotherapist, feminist, activist, happy wife and mom of three and working to launch my services online. As part of my work as an activist, I recently joined a group of women whose objective was, initially, to have monthly conversations with secretaries of public administration during which we could share our concerns, make suggestions and give them feedback about the specific subject their department/public administration addresses. After the first reunion -that I missed because of sickness- the objective changed and my colleagues and friends decided to make a really detailed program for the current state administration, which I think is something a paid consultant should do, not us, for free, for the government. I saw this episode today, before sending my “no” and want to share here what I wrote: “Dear all, good afternoon. I just reviewed the gender violence program document along with the steps to follow. I understand that it is a very complete proposal, therefore it requires time and dedication that I do not have available. At this time my schedule and time are full and I can not commit to participate in the project because I can not give it the attention it requires. Therefore, I won’t be able to schedule the interviews in the area of ​​Public Security either, since I will not follow up on the rest of the project. Greetings and have a great holiday”. (Since there’s a holiday going on where I live). I have a sense of relief and respecting myself with this decision. Thank you so much for the inspiration! Any feedback on what I wrote?

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      Hi Luze! Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing a bit of what you’re going through. We’re thrilled that this message connected with you at the perfect moment, though we’re sorry to hear that your group didn’t work out as you’d hoped. It’s clear that you have a passion for giving back to your community and while this particular group may not be the best fit for you going forward, we’re sending along our best wishes that you’ll find other opportunities to share your gifts with others.

      Your letter is beautifully written and clearly communicates your intentions, but the very best indicator that it’s a success is the relief you feel. The only suggestion I have is that you could omit the sentence that begins with “Therefore” as it’s slightly redundant since you’ve already provided an explanation. While we can’t control how others may perceive our messages, we can commit to being as honest as possible in our communication, which is what you’ve done here, so I’d love to encourage you to trust yourself and move forward with peace of mind.

  38. I loved this episode. The most tricky situation for me is when I want to help but the other person has no idea, really, what they are actually asking of me! I have health challenges so… those who don’t just do not get what it takes just to get through the day sometimes, so extra things just feel impossible. So it’s the rock and the hard place – want to maintain friendships, but overextending myself… it’s tough. Even if it’s just to meet for coffee… it takes hours from my day to prepare and recover. But for them it’s just the time spent visiting.

  39. Extending the NO – How do I gracefully excuse myself from a conversation? For example, I’m making a quick stop at the post office or running into a store and I meet someone I know and they want to tell me all about the death of their goldfish but now I’m starting to run late for my next appointment and need to get going. What do I say without sounding insensitive? Or I see someone at an event who is about to leave and I need to connect with them; however, I’m deep in conversation with a new person I just met. How do I remain gracious, sincere and loving while breaking away?

    Marie, You are awesome! I love what you do and am grateful you are using that special gift that only you have! Love B-School as well! Best investment ever!

    • Susan

      Oh Dawn…so glad you brought this up! I have this same scenario and can’t wait to hear Marie’s insight!

  40. I have a huge resistance to hurting my friends’ feelings. I’m the girl who never says no to my friends because my friends are awesome and only ask me to do great things with them. Now that I have my own business, it is hurting me (and my goals/priorities) to continue saying yes. It now seems to have become a more serious problem.

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      Thanks so much for sharing Vanessa. It sounds like you’re an incredible friend and you pour a lot of yourself into your relationships with others– it’s no wonder they want to hang out with you all the time! The beauty of creating healthy boundaries is that they can ultimately help our friendships evolve along with the rest of our lives, and true friends are often more than willing to show up for us as we need them to. I’d love to encourage you to let you friends know that you’re needing to invest more in your business this season and include them in your process by sharing how they can best support you at this time– chances are they’ll be eager and excited to!

  41. Susan

    Oh goodness…saying no can be so hard for me in certain areas!! Definitely related to my business, my passion…but it is that little time-drain stuff like, “Can we meet for coffee?” and “Maybe we could talk about it over dinner…” when REALLY it is someone that I know who wants to do the brain-suck thing!! For FREE!
    How would my business improve if I said no? I’d have more time to invest in continuing to grow…education. And doing things that renew my heart and soul – like kayak, and bike ride. Yup. I’m reading, studying and applying the 19 ways to say no…thanks for this great tool, Marie!!

  42. “No” is very tricky, but honestly, with small children and seriously trying to build my business, “no” comes easily and from a kind place. I always take the opportunity to consider how the person can get help for that they ask without my commitment. I am never “too busy” to listen, and I always feel honored and privileged for being asked. Thank you Marie and Team Forleo!

  43. I’ve actuallybeen practicing saying no a lot recently. I kept running into walls, feeling stressed out and ultimately letting my body decide when things were enough sluggish or not moving habits.
    I think I definitely over estimate my ability sometimes and struggle with saying no to networking events, because I rarely want to I put the in the community, but then i don’t have time to take care of my business needs. But I’m getting more selective.

  44. I just turned 50, so I’ve become super-conscious of my time, and yes, saying ‘no’ is a big part of that! Lovin’ B-School, BTW!

    • Hi Peter, I clicked on your name to see if I could say hi to a fellow B-Schooler and discovered that if you click on someone’s name it takes you to their website! How cool! I ended up on your website and WOW what a great thing you are doing for yourself and for men who are in that crap space of “WTF Happened to Me?” Good luck, keep it up, and thank you for doing good things for the good men of this world. 🙂

      • Thank you, Kirsten! I didn’t know that, either. I just clicked over to your site and I definitely relate to what you’re doing, too. I’m a big believer in tracing the causes of things – whether it’s health, business, money, mindset, the works. Thanks for your kind words and all the best with your journey. Kindred spirits. 🙂 xx

  45. Recently, I have found that I am more easily saying no instead of always defaulting to yes. I’ve carved out boundaries and am holding true to them and I’m really not sure what clicked in my brain to make this change. I declared 2018 The Year of Being Unapologetic yet Graceful, so perhaps the energetic message I’m sending out is simply allowing me to protect my intention. (Whoa, that sounded kind of crazy…lol). I’m in B-School and feeling like I’m getting all my ducks in a row in so many ways…it’s been really freaking cool. Almost like watching a movie about myself.

    I cannot wait to check out the downloadable…I’m certain that my life will soon offer many opportunities to bow out from things with grace and kindness.

  46. Sam

    AMAZING! Thank you for creating this and making “NO” a priority topic! I definitely fall into the de-value-pit where I take on more work than agreed to with my clients… most of the time it’s just easier + time-effective for me to do the work than to go back and forth about Deliverables, but it is also a confidence thing. This is so incredibly helpful and I’ve already used it today!!!!!

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      We’re so glad this was helpful for you Sam, and way to go for already using the guide in practice!

  47. Amanda

    I find it difficult to say no to my son, especially for rides in the car, since he lost his licence. If its about him getting to work etc, then I might what is better for him against what is good for me. And its hard, though I am going to keep trying. Also with men I think I have found it hard to say no, possibly because I didnt want to lose them and wanted their love. When I have I’ve often said it in a really wrong way and had consequences anyway.

    With my business, no to anything that is not worth my while financially. Again no to anything which interferes with my biz or self care.

    Anyway, I’ll think on the latter more, in the meantime uni study, thanks.

  48. Lynne

    Saying no to family members is my biggest “no” challenge. I tend to be a people pleaser and do not want to disappoint anyone.

  49. I love this episode, and thank you for the cheat-sheet!
    Saying NO is very hard for me.
    The hardest would be to say NO to my boss, but in intimate relationships too.
    And yes, less stress all around if I could say ‘no’ with some science hidden behind it : )

  50. Viv

    I have a Jewelry business. I stand by my products and will repair anything that breaks. My problem is that a few of my best customers are quite tough in their jewelry and continually require repairs. Sometimes bags of items are given to me And the items broken are junk from other manufacturers. Or items I’ve repaired before. These people are good clients sometimes friends and I want to help but I hate doing repairs and it’s using up my precious time I need to spend on building by business . They often offer to pay so why do I say no?

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      Viv, that’s definitely a tricky situation. While it can seem counter-intuitive to say ‘no’ to someone offering to pay you for your services, if ultimately you’re performing services that you don’t want to – or that are taking time and resources from the things you really want to do – then saying ‘no’ is one of the biggest steps you can take to course-correct. It might feel scary, but you’ll be opening up so much more space to create (and make money doing) what you want. We’re wishing you all the best!

  51. Hey everyone!
    To me saying no is the MOST difficult in Business-Friendly situation -when my client have become my friends too.
    It’s difficult to know both about personal reasons and being firm as a pro.
    Any advice?
    Cheers
    Lili

  52. Omar

    Salut
    Répondre par NON c’est méchant mais dans des situations on est obligé de s’exprimer par NON.
    Par exemple : Un professeur a le choix entre ces deux questions : Avez-vous compris ? ou :Qui n’a pas compris ? Ce sont des techniques de questionnement.
    Dans la relation client , le vendeur essaye toujours d’avoir le OUI du client au lieu d’avoir le NON.
    Devant un chef autoritaire , même si on n’est pas d’accord on évite de dire NON parce que c’est impoli. Dire NON c’est montrer une personnalité ………………

    • Van

      Répondre par non is not méchant!
      that why we’ve invented the “Sorry I can’t”
      😉

      • OMAR

        Si on fait des statistiques sur la réponse “NON” je crois que c’est un signe de méchanceté.

  53. Corina Isabel

    Thank you for sharing this video. It’s easier if you have some tools about how to say no. I wrote the whole sentences down and say them loud until it sounded really good. Alone in the kitchen ofcourse. But when the moment comes I have another thing to say and protect myself and simply say no.
    For me it’s difficult to say no to my children when they want something other kids have and they don’t. For example expensive shoes what other kids have, I feel guilty because I don’t want them to be ashamed of their own shoes. Children are sometimes terrible, they ask if they can look under my son’s shoes for a brand or something and if not they laugh at them. I am a young widow with no family left and we have a good life but that hurts. Sometimes I buy it for them, but then I have to say no to save money to start my own company.

    • Sarah

      Can you teach your kids to say to their peers “why would you care? Is that name really important to you? It’s not important to me! Let’s do [activity], that’s fun!”

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      I love that you practiced saying this out loud – it’s a powerful thing to HEAR yourself say no in a way that’s comfortable for you. And we absolutely understand how challenging it can be to say no to your children, especially when you’re watching them deal with peer pressure and every bit of self-doubt that comes with that age. You’re doing a beautiful job teaching your kids what your family values and priorities are, and why you say YES to the things you do/buy/participate in.

  54. Pat

    Thank you for sharing. I have a hard time saying no to opportunities. When an opportunity presents itself I often tell myself that it is a learning and growing experience. And yes, in some ways it can be but not all experiences propel me towards my goals. So I find myself trying to realign or readjust myself after experiencing some opportunities which makes me feel like I wasted my time.

  55. Loves this. I preach this all the time. I wanted to see some of the scripts but was not able to download the checklist/guide…. any other way to get it?

  56. Shani Richards

    Response to Question #1: One of my biggest challenges is saying no when I want to say yes. I am practicing setting boundaries with myself so that I don’t spend all my available time and capacity on good things and so that I have time and capacity for purposeful and purposefilled activities.
    Response to Question #2: I know that my timeliness, time awareness and keeping my word hugely benefits from me saying no. It’s a conscious priority for me.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      These are AWESOME responses, Shani! Creating boundaries that are purposeful to YOU are key to happiness and success. Good luck using them and implementing these practices in your life.

  57. Lately, I’ve found it difficult to say no in situations where I feel like I “owe” my yes. Specifically, when someone voluntarily does something for me and then makes an ask. For example, a woman made a referral of my business to someone who I could potentially gain clients from. But then she sent an email inviting me to her networking group in which there is a certain amount of pressure to bring in new members.

    This situation started ever since I joined a networking group. I’d rather get to know this group, be helpful where I can and try to network in deep, win-win ways rather than to spread myself thin by joining multiple groups which seems to be a common strategy in my city.

    I’ve been saying no more and trying to align my yes’s to my strengths and goals. But this video and guide are timely because this is definitely not easy to do.
    However, I’ve already been seeing the benefits of this. When I don’t have every spare moment of my time taken up, I have a lot more creative juice available for what I say YES to.

    I’m also a fan of the idea of “if it’s not hell yes, it’s a no.”

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      Such an amazing observation Reshanda! And we’re also big advocates of the “if it’s not hell yes, it’s a no” philosophy – rock on!

  58. Juna

    A tricky situation for me is one I initiated & want to get out of because I don’t like what’s being offered anymore. This person was and is a loyal client/friend (blurred boundaries is your first clue) and I wanted to support her and also me by bartering our similar services on a weekly basis. It worked at the beginning, but now it doesn’t for me. The other person involved thinks it’s the best thing ever and keeps asking me about our trades. I just can’t say ‘no’ so I’m choosing between 1) ignoring her emails completely or 2) responding ambiguously, which doesn’t work. Fortunately, I’ve had to be away traveling a lot which I hoped would make her forget, but when I’m back home, she’s contacting me for another trade session.
    WHY IS IT SO HARD TO SAY NO TO THIS PERSON?
    1) I feel it’s my fault for blurring the boundaries in the first place & I should have known better
    2) I don’t want to hurt her, yet I know she feels bad already because I’m not trading with her. I haven’t told her why because the why is that I don’t enjoy what she’s trading, it’s not worth my time and energy and oh, that seems so harsh speaking it out loud! I guess I’ve made saying no that I’m mean, but I’m also mean for NOT being up front with her. I have practiced saying “I’m sorry, this doesn’t work for me,” but I literally can’t say it in front of her. I haven’t been willing to speak my piece and let the chips fall where they may.
    I just downloaded your Ultimate Guide of 19 ways to say no kindly, so I’m hoping there is something I can use! Thanks for this great episode! Sorely needed!!
    ~ I’m just a girl who cain’t say no

  59. April

    I tend to find it hardest to say no to my boss. Most of the time it’s because I find her to be very intimidating. But what’s worse is that I usually say yes before she’s even asked just to avoid the confrontation at all.
    If I could say no more at work, it would mean that I could leave on time and stress less. It means I would be required to face my insecurities and stand my ground by presenting a well thought out reason, like my current workload and how I am prioritizing.

  60. Emily

    So amazing to listen. I talked with my mastermind, and it’s really setting in. It’s time to say the ultimate no to my boss at my day job. On May 23rd, it’s time to say, “Love you, love everything you’ve done for me, I always want to be a part of this organization but, no I’m not going to work for this company in a full time capacity after June 28th.” I’m scared and excited, it’s fun to go through this strange change in perspective about EVERYTHING around me. Huge learning moment. Enjoying the final months in a job that was lovely, but really burned me out. Marie and Team, thank you for appearing in my life back in January 2015. LOVE YOU!!!

  61. Pam Lewis

    I find it hard to say no to something I haven’t tried before. Even if my insides are telling me no or I can feel in my gut that it’s not a good idea or right for me, I have that voice that pops up saying “ how can you say no if you’ve never tried it – it might turn out to be a good thing”. I think I might be concerned about giving into fear and it’s not always clear whether inner perception or fear is driving my decision to say no so I get reluctant to turn things down without a proven prior experience that it’s not a good fit for me.

  62. “Me & Myself” it is I that is the (my) answear
    Thank you for this graceful lesson
    love
    g

  63. Gloria

    hello please help me with the link to your podcast that i can use in my mozilla fire fox to download your message

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Hi there, Gloria!

      If you’s like to listen to our podcast from a computer, you can do so through Spotify or itunes. There’s a link to itunes and our podcast on this page of our website in the section for our podcast.
      https://www.marieforleo.com/marietv/
      Additionally, you can listen to our podcast from your mobile device through the podcast app for iphones or the Stitcher app if you have an Andriod phone.
      Give this a whirl and if you’re still running into troubles you can always email us ay info@marieforleo.com and we’ll be happy to help out.

  64. Madeline

    Wow! Such a great video that really prompted me to think! I have trouble saying know in a few areas, such as to myself when it comes to impulsive spending on things I believe I want when I see them. I tell myself, “if I have an abundance mindset and am truly having faith that I am manifesting everything I want, I should be able to get this, right?” I am now seeing how that is actually coming from a mindset of lack and a fear that if I don’t act now the item or the money I have at the time might later be gone. My personal finances would benefit greatly from my saying no to myself.

    I also have some problems saying no to potential clients, or to current clients who are overly demanding. I often feel like I have to do everything possible to preserve the business relationship and wind up over committing. If I said no more often and were more selective in whom I choose to transact business with, I bet I would find I have more time to give better service to those I choose to take on as clients and would probably increase my bottom line through improved service. I’m “going pro” Marie! Thank you so much!

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Get after that PRO action, Madeline! We love hearing that attitude and action. It will serve you well as you move towards your goals. Saying ‘no’ to things that don’t serve your heart or goals gets you closer to your dreams. *high five*

  65. Benson Modie

    Oh yes…no is great, if you are to make real progress to where you really want to go. Thank you so much for reminding us to take a stand in life.

  66. Love this episode! I think that the most important NO I need to make happen right now is to unsubscribe from all the newsletters I get that take away from my own work. Marieforleo.com is the exception. I love the information you share and how you share it. Thank you! 🙂 Kelly

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      We’re honored to be in your inbox Kelly, we know your time is incredibly valuable! XO

  67. Peter Christiansen

    Beloved Marie, I love you for who you are and I love all your videos.
    In speaking of saying “NO”, at times, a person should have the gut to say “YES” or “NO”.
    I personally like honesty in a person by telling me thing just like it is. Saying “no” is an opportunity to show someone’s integrity, honesty, or maturity, or strong in decision making.
    Peter

  68. Couldn’t agree more with Marie. Many times being able to say no is extremely necessary. Can’t believe how rarely this topic is approached.

  69. Your skirt is mesmerising.
    Thanks for a useful vid.

  70. Jyoti

    I guess sometimes saying no to ourselves is difficult..and there are times when u r very busy with a particular work and your friend comes up.. I guess both situations are bit difficult

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Absolutely, Jyoti, we know this can be tough! We hope you’ll download the Ultimate Guide to Saying No and find the scripts we share for saying no in these types of situations there helpful 🙂

  71. Jyoti

    Saying no to certain things also help us to focus on the present and complete what is necessary…we become more focused

  72. KG

    Saying no and bowing out gracefully is a life savor. Often I just respond with something like, “No, I’m not available just now.” I may add, “Thanks for asking,” and give my sincere best wishes. As I became seasoned at saying no I noticed requests diminished and it got easier to set limits for myself. I discovered it wasn’t the other person’s feelings, but my own that were the hurdle for saying no graciously.

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Beautifully said, KG – thank you so much for sharing your experience with saying no here! It definitely is something that takes practice and getting used to, and tuning into our own feelings surrounding this is so valuable.

  73. Anne-Marie

    My most difficult no is saying no to social activities my husband wants me to do 🙂

  74. I find that the hardest thing for me about saying no is that I feel that it is somehow an indication that I am not on the top of my game or that I am somehow not strong enough, or smart enough, or managing my time well enough to be able to execute whatever it is that is being asked of me. Whenever I say no, I feel that I am letting myself down and as well as others. I know, logically, that this is not the case, however, emotionally I am convinced otherwise. This is a pattern that often leaves me feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, and in some cases resentful of my position and of other people’s perceived freedom in this area.

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Skylar, you’re SO not alone in feeling this way. When we start saying no more often in order to stay true to our own priorities, take care of our well-being, and avoid the burn out you mentioned – it’s very common (especially as a generous, giving person) to feel as though you’re letting others down. Try to remind yourself that you’re actually empowering them! To be more resourceful themselves, to set their own boundaries, or to find a better fit for their needs. This does take a bit of adjustment on both sides if it’s someone you typically say yes to, and know that it’s not always comfortable – but that doesn’t mean it’s not an important change to make.

      I have a feeling you’ll find this episode of MarieTV helpful: https://www.marieforleo.com/2016/04/generous-not-doormat/

  75. I absolutely adore your blog posts! They’re so inspirational! I love what you do, and the things you post is exactly the kind of things I’m interested in. ❤️

  76. I once figured out the email address for an incredibly charismatic CEO of a large company that I’d seen speak at an event. I piqued his interest by citing the meditation teachers behind some of his quotes, asked if I could treat him to coffee to discuss something specific and must have caught him right as he was checking email. He immediately responded, which was flattering, and said this:

    “I’m honored by your email, though requests for my time exceed the amount of time I have, so anything free I reserve for my family. I can tell I would have really enjoyed having coffee with you, so thank you for your kind words and your note. I wish you the best!”

    I found it to be so elegant, complete and I was the one that felt honored. I’ve been using a similar technique ever since!

    P.S. I did a quick reply thanking him for such a kind response and said I’d be crossing my fingers we ended up next to each other on a plane some day. To my surprise again, he shot back saying “Let’s both wish that!”

    • Julia - Team Forleo

      Dani, thank you so much for sharing this with us 🙂 Wow, what a beautiful, elegant, kind “no” indeed! This is the type of humanity we could all use more of, where both parties are left feeling respected and honored by an interaction. We love that you now use a similar technique yourself whenever you need to say no! XO

  77. I have a difficult time saying no to my customers and clients when they want to sell me something. I feel so grateful for the support they’ve given my business over the past five years. But I’m afraid this gratitude has turned into obligation as soon as they want me to buy something they’re selling:( I feel bad even writing that!! I have no problem purchasing something I believe in, but most of the time whatever the product is, it is something I neither need nor want. Man, I am feeling like a total bitch right now even typing this…I must need more help than I thought! HA!

  78. sonja

    sticky situation: saying no to someone asking you out when you know enough about them to know that you have no interest in anything beyond a casual friendship. oy!

  79. I have a hard time saying no to my 13 year old daughter. I went through a divorce last year and she is used to high end everything as my husband made very good money. She went through a lot of turmoil so part of me saying “yes” to buying things is that I want her to happy, but I know that’s not happiness and then I feel guilty or scared of what I spend since I’m now a single mom starting a business. I try to explain to her that I don’t have the budget but that is usually after the purchase.
    I know that right tactic is to have the conversation around how life is now, which is hard, probably because my mom never did with me.

  80. Mariya

    Hey. I feel teally tricky saying no to people in need. Sometimes we just have no opportunity, but I always want to say them yes.
    All in all if I said to poeople no, I’d have much more possetions.
    SONJA I see, sometimes such a frienships ends badly.

  81. Hi Marie,
    I totally agree with advises you gave in this video. That is useful reasons to say No.
    In my opinion, I see when have to say No with boss is need most tricky. Because if you dont know give your boss suitable reasons, he/she will doubt abt ur skill or your passion in job (but actually you are having too much things to do)
    One more situation in my job make me feel hard to say No is with my co worker when they suggest me exchange shifts. You know, if it just happens sometimes, it is ok. But it doesn’t happen with only one co-worker (because you will have a lot co-workers). But if you say No often, the big problem will happen is when you need to have time , no one agree help you, fair enough! So my way is choose the suitable reason (as I am busy too, or I dont have enough healthy to work a lot if I agree…etc)

  82. Kimberly

    Doing what you said to do with a boss has never worked for me. Only dug me into a routine of extra work offering up alternatives. The response was, “then show us all of the options.” My suggestion is to qualify whether that “pricing strategy” was your responsibility and if so, your authority to implement the most effective strategy. If not yours, then I recommend being quiet and asking the questions you have to do your job.

    The tactic I found that did work when an upper level of management had gone astray. I offered up the data and said, “I wanted to point out to you that the data, as I am seeing it, doesn’t support the proposed strategy (next phase…). I understand there may be other reasons for the decision to move forward. Just thought I’d share the information with you.” That worked. I successful had an unnecessary and costly marketing campaign killed.

  83. Wow! I SO need this. I’m going to rehearse and practice these!

  84. Aynsley

    Oooh, such a good one. I was just tested on my ability to say ‘no’ this weekend and totally failed at it. I’m a successful entrepreneur running a multi-million dollar business, and here are my two biggest areas I suck at saying no to:
    1) To people wanting to ‘pick my brain’ (for free) about starting a product-based business. Especially in person. I am terrible at saying no to this, and often re-direct them to my blog but will not say an overt no, and many will follow up via email etc.
    2) To my employees when they ask things last minute – like to leave early, day off, vacation without proper notice. I NEVER say no because I feel bad.

    Downloading those scripts RIGHT NOW!

  85. Women & Leadership Australia is providing a grant to support the development of female leaders in manufacturing, with Women In Print encouraging workers in the print and packaging services sector to take it on.

    The scholarship pool for a range of leadership courses is available to all women employed in manufacturing.

  86. I am glad I watched this again because I used to get uncomfortable when people are unresonable. Now, I know, saying no to them can be the best thing for everybody. Thank you for this episode.

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      YES Nicoleta. It’s such a gift when you can offer true honesty to the people in your life. We’re so glad this episode offered you some helpful tips on how to respectfully say ‘no’ to the things that aren’t serving you. Rewatching is also such a vital thing to do!

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