Words of Comfort: What To Say When Someone Dies or Suffers a Loss

November 22, 2016

Hi! I'm Marie

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The unthinkable happens. Whether it’s a life-threatening diagnosis, the death of a loved one or a heartbreaking tragedy — the experience of devastating loss touches us all.

The challenge is that many of us have a hard time finding words of comfort, or even know what to say when someone dies. Heartfelt, genuine condolence messages aren’t simple to express.

In a world where we often learn about such shattering news via text, email or even social media — our responses can be awkward at best and non-existent at worst.

I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now because I believe that people have so much more love and compassion in their hearts than they’re often able to express.

But that’s understandable, because most of us haven’t been taught what to say when someone dies or suffers a loss. And too many of us stay silent because we’re afraid of saying the wrong thing.

If you’ve ever struggled to write a condolence message, a sympathy message or find words of comfort for a friend or loved one, this episode is for you.

You’ll learn exactly what to say (and not say) when tragedy strikes. You’ll learn the right words of comfort to truly support someone in way that’s genuine and not trite or, worse, unknowingly offensive.

While the advice in this episode isn’t exhaustive, it does provide concrete guidance to make sure that your intention of offering genuine love, comfort and support is well received.

My hope is that if you ever feel at a loss for words, struggle to write a condolence message or feel unsure of how to best show your love and support for a friend who’s grieving — this episode will be one you come back to.

Enormous thanks to Kris Carr, Joanna Goddard, David Kessler and Andi O’Conor, PhD for their work.

Now, I’d love to hear from you. If you have some other do’s and don’ts to share from your experience, put them directly in the comments below.

If you share a don’t, please do so with love and compassion.

Most people have their heart in the right place, but as you know — we all make mistakes. Especially if we haven’t experienced that situation ourselves.

Remember, add as much detail as possible in your reply. Thousands of incredible souls come here each week for insight and inspiration and your voice may help someone else have a meaningful breakthrough.

Important: share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be deleted as they come across as spammy.

Thank you so much for reading, watching and diving into the discussion.

I’m truly grateful for the supportive, inspiring and consistently insightful conversations that unfold here.

With all my love,


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