These are my cute shoes that you can’t see. Now you saw them.
Hi, it’s Marie Forleo. And guess what? You are watching Marie TV, the place to be to create a business and a life that you love. And this is my favorite day of the week. Yes, that means it’s Q&A Tuesday. And today’s question comes from a fantastic woman named Laura and she writes, “Hi Marie. I’m just starting to build my team, but I’m not sure how to keep everyone motivated and on track. We all work really hard, but maybe because we’re virtual in different parts of the country and different time zones, it’s feeling hard to get the team to really gel. What can I do to help people stay motivated and engaged and actually like working together? Thanks, Laura.”
Awesome question, Laura. I talk a lot about Team Forleo, so this is the kind of question that I get asked all the time. It’s a big topic, team building, but today I’m going to share one kind of unorthodox tool that we’ve been using for years that helps people feel a real bond and a sense of connection. It was originally created for couples, but I use it for business and no, it’s not these.
Marie, you really don’t have the keys?
I have no idea where they are.
That’s great. Wonderful.
Seriously? Come on.
Okay. But seriously, the tool that we’ve used for years now is the blockbuster hit from the ’90s. It’s Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages. Now, since Gary came out with that book, he actually created another one that’s specifically for the workplace and it’s called The Five Languages of Appreciation. Now, we still use the love languages because we’re touchy feely like that.
Now, here’s the basic idea. Each one of us gives and receives love in our own unique way. We each have our own love or appreciation language, so to speak. There are five love languages. Quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts and physical touch. So the key to making another person feel loved and appreciated is to express love and appreciation in their primary love language.
So on our team, one of the gals, her name is Kristen, we know that her primary love language is physical touch. So every time we get in person, it is a huge hug fest because we know that’s how she feels most loved and appreciated. And conversely, Louise on our team, one of her primary love languages is words of affirmation, so all of us know that for Louise to feel truly loved and appreciated, we let her know verbally and in writing how amazing she is. Just think, if only Don Draper thought to do this with Peggy.
It’s your job. I give you money, you give me ideas.
You never say thank you.
That’s what the money is for.
Hey Don, I think Peggy’s love language is words of affirmation. So when anyone joins our team, it’s the very first thing that we make them do. So how about you? Do you know your love language or your team’s love or appreciation language? If you don’t, you should go and check out Gary’s site because he has a free test and it’s awesome. We will put the links below. And of course, I recommend the books too because they are amazing. This will help you so much, not only to help build your team and help everybody gel together, but it’ll really support every relationship in your life. In fact, one of my guy friends recently got engaged and I had told him, “You got to do this. You got to make your woman do this. You have to do it,” and he reported back a little bit later and he told me it was one of the best things they’ve ever done.
But back to you and your team. I promise, if you give your team love and appreciation in their love language, you’re going to help set them up to do their best work. They’re going to stay fully engaged and they’re going to love working with you over the long haul. I think the late great Stephen Covey said it best when he said, “Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival, to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.”
That was my A to your Q, Laura. I really hope it helps. Do let us know how it goes. Now, I would love to hear from you. Do you know your love or appreciation language? If not, go over and take the free test or just tell us in the comments how you most feel loved or appreciated. Now, as always, the most awesome discussions happen after the episode at MarieForleo.com, so get over there and leave a comment now.
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Well, we’re really all bonded and connecting. The hair is off or the air is off? The hair is on.