Marie Forleo: Hey, this is Marie Forleo and you are watching Marie TV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. And this is Q&A Tuesday, and today’s question comes from Shauna and she writes, “Hi Marie, I’ve been beating myself up because I haven’t made a lot of progress in my business for a very long and humiliating time. I finally discovered a huge reason that I’m not moving forward and it’s because I’m afraid of the trappings of success. You see, freedom is my number one value, and I’m afraid that becoming successful will overwhelm me and take away my freedom instead of giving me more. This fear paralyzes me and even though I’m not handling much right now, I’m already feeling overwhelmed and tired. Any thoughts, tips, or tricks would be greatly appreciated. Shauna. PS. You effin rock.” You effin rock too Shauna.
Marie Forleo: So Shauna, this is an awesome question. I know many people, millions of people struggle with this, including myself. I’ve often had that same belief that more success could equal less freedom, and it’s not a great feeling to have. And to help answer today’s question. I’ve brought one of my very dear friends, Dr. Cathy Collautt is here with us today, and you’re going to love Dr. Cathy because not only is she amazingly smart, she is an Oxford grad, but she is a metaphysician and manifesting consultant and what that means is she helps people create powerful lasting change in their lives, and one of the ways that she does that is through working with the power of the subconscious mind. Ooh, this is so good, woman. This is so good. Thank you so much, first of all-
Dr. Cathy Collautt: So happy to be here.
Marie Forleo: … for being on Marie TV. So it sounds like Shauna is having a little bit of trouble between what she consciously wants, which is growing her business and it sounds like she has a fear of success. Is that what you heard?
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Definitely sounds that way. We can hear the tension or the major conflict between her conscious goal, building a successful business and her subconscious fears about how that might limit her freedom.
Marie Forleo: So Cathy, tell us why our subconscious minds have so much power over us?
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Well, the reason is, is it’s estimated that approximately about 3% of your processing power’s your conscious mind. The rest of it, the other 97%, subconscious, autonomic, automatic. You don’t think about how you digest food. You don’t normally think about how you breathe, all your habits go on automatic pilot. So by far our greatest processing powerhouse is our subconscious mind. Scientists will tell you that the power of the subconscious is perhaps a million times greater than the conscious mind.
Marie Forleo: That’s amazing. A million times greater.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Yeah. And the point of that is not to say that your ego and your will are weak. They are extremely powerful. The point is to recognize that as powerful as they are, there exists an asset within us that is even more powerful than that. So that’s why I work with the subconscious mind and why I encourage other people to get their subconscious mind on board in trying to make what they want happen in their lives. We normally try to make what we want happen through our conscious determination and our ego and our sweat, blood and tears, which is tough going as is.
Marie Forleo: And I’m very familiar with that, which you’ve helped me with.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: But especially when it’s going over and against something in the other 97%, it becomes a task of Sisyphean proportions. You remember Sisyphus, right? The king in Greek mythology who was punished to an eternity of rolling a boulder up a hill only to watch it roll back down.
Marie Forleo: Right.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: So this is a version of what Shauna is experiencing. Rather her conscious mind might be saying, “I want success,” hopefully it is also saying, “I am worthy of success.” But if something in the other 97% thinks otherwise, “I don’t want success,” that’s what she’s going to be getting or manifesting. At minimum she’s going to find her somewhere on that Sisyphean mountain trying to push her boulder named success up to the top or prevent the backslide.
Marie Forleo: So Cathy, if your subconscious mind is that powerful, it almost seems like it’s the boss, and like Shauna would almost need her boss’s approval to sign off on something that she wants. Is that right?
Dr. Cathy Collautt: I see why you would say that because at a power a million times greater than the conscious mind, it’s clear who’s going to win, right?
Marie Forleo: Right.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: But the truth is that Shauna is meant to be the boss. She’s meant to manage this asset, this most effective, powerful, and efficient employee by giving a good and clear direction. So if you think of your subconscious as a computer, you understand that it’s going to take its programming and run with it, and it’s your job to make sure that it’s programming is in functional, if not optimal alignment with your goals and you do this by programming, reprogramming, and debugging at regular intervals and in concert with those goals as you become aware of them, as they change and so on. So the great news is that once you get your subconscious on board, that Sisyphean mountain turns into a molehill. Much like instituting your habits. You don’t actually even institute them. Doesn’t take a lot of thought. Doesn’t take a lot of effort. You just kind of do them.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: That’s the power of your subconscious mind and that’s the power of the asset that we’re all born with and your job as president and CEO of yourself and your life is to get the most out of this most dependable and capable employee that you will ever have at your disposal. So it’s much less about asking for permission than it is about gaining mastery and being adept.
Marie Forleo: Cathy, this is so exciting. I love talking about this with you. It sounds like Shauna really can get her subconscious mind in alignment with her conscious goals, and I know because you and I have worked together and how brilliant you are that you give people very clear steps. So can you share with us the clear steps to get your subconscious mind in alignment with your conscious goals?
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Sure. So step one, after you recognize the resistance is to be humble. Don’t assume you know anything, let alone everything about your resistance. You want to trust the subconscious long enough to learn from it. You want to trust that it has something intelligent and wise to say, because it does. Shauna’s for example is reminding her of her non-negotiable desire for freedom.
Marie Forleo: Cathy, I love that. So in essence, what you’re saying is it’s about listening to the wisdom that we can find in our resistance. Is that right?
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Marie Forleo: Okay, awesome. So what’s step two?
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Step two is to get specific. What is the fear or fears exactly? What are the associations with having or getting what you want? What exactly is it that the subconscious is looking out for? You want to interview your subconscious like you would anybody you’re trying to get information from, which is with genuine curiosity and compassion. You want to let it make its case. You want to hear its case because there is priceless wisdom and information in there for you. So it’s not enough for example for Shauna to know that she’s afraid of the trappings of success, much less afraid of success in general. She wants to know what trapping specifically, what freedoms in particular does she think she’s going to have to sacrifice for success? Is it more projects? Is it more people depending on her? This will tell her more about what she wants.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: So step two is to get details and applaud whatever you find. Applaud it before you judge it, because you, what you normally associate with you is by far not the smartest thing within you. The next step, step three would then be to make a promise. You want to set the intention to work it out with your subconscious, not to work against it.
Marie Forleo: I love that.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: So Shauna’s fear is saying to her, “Look, I’m afraid that if you become successful, you’re going to be tied to your desk. You’re going to be on the phone all day. You’re going to be even more stressed out and strapped out. Have no fun. Have no time for family and friends and love and everything else you want in life.” Shauna can make her fear a non-issue by making a promise, “Listen, friend, I hear you. I understand what you’re saying and I really appreciate you looking out. If greater success means greater strain, more exhaustion, having less freedom and time for myself and my life, I won’t do it. I will only do it if that’s not what it means, I promise.” And then of course she wants to be a good partner in crime for herself to rely on, which means to keep her promise. But in any case, by making this promise we see the tension is dissipated and it makes space for herself and her subconscious to open up to the idea of success and to pursuing it.
Marie Forleo: Cathy, this is so delicious. I want to eat you up right now. What I’m hearing you say is through making the promise it’s about honoring what is truly important to ourselves and making a commitment to ourselves to really honor that wisdom and honor what we truly want in our lives. So what’s step four?
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Step four is to get examples. So evidently Shauna’s subconscious has a lot of negative examples about what happens when you become successful. She wants to douse her subconscious in positive examples and case studies. People whose lives have improved as a result of their success in business. People whose freedom has increased as a result of their success. People who have built successful businesses and have more time to do what they love. Marie is a great example in this respect. It’s part of the mission statement to help women live rich, happy, and hot, right?
Marie Forleo: Yes.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Complete opposite of overworked, exhausted and crushed by the weight of their duties, obligations, and desk.
Marie Forleo: Yes.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: So she wants to find examples. It can be people she knows. People she doesn’t know. Famous people. It doesn’t matter. The point is to let the subconscious know it’s possible. To let it know that it is possible to marry or to satisfy all sides of her heart and mind. The subconscious will do anything that you tell it it’s possible. So the more examples that she finds and gives, the more she encourages and reinforces the idea this is definitely possible and lets her subconscious know what it’s working towards.
Marie Forleo: Ooh. This is getting better and better. So we have one more step to go, right?
Dr. Cathy Collautt: We have one more step.
Marie Forleo: Step five.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Step five is to solidify and affirm. So the more you ingrain your new perspective in your subconscious, the more you can capitalize on its power and its resources to facilitate and even to execute towards your goal on your behalf, which of course means it’s easier to materialize, to manifest it to get what you want. So a good affirmation for Shauna is success increases my freedom in life.
Marie Forleo: I love that. Success increases my freedom in life. Perfect for all of us.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: More than an affirmation because an affirmation, it implies I have to defend or I’m proving something so there’s an element of doubt. You really want to think about it like a reminder. It is a reminder. It’s a reminder of what is possible. It will also serve as a reminder of the road. The only road in light of the promise that she’s made above that she is taking. She wants to repeat it as often as feels good to her. But before you fall asleep, right before you fall asleep, right upon waking and during, after meditation are some of the best times to access the subconscious mind.
Marie Forleo: I love this. You just told us how to completely reprogram or get in alignment our subconscious mind with what we want. I think this is just genius. And I just want to say a personal testament to your work that you and I have known each other for years, I’ve worked with you in several different capacities, but this stuff works. I will tell you that I’ve worked with Cathy on a number of different occasions and it is so amazing what happens when you approach yourself in this gentle way because that’s one of the things that I really love about what you teach, is it’s not about fighting yourself and it’s not about force or pushing through, it’s about gentle introspection and it’s a really wise way to approach getting what you want. I just think it’s genius.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: And capitalizing on the wisdom that exists within you which isn’t just your ego and your consciousness. You’re brilliant. There’s a lot of power there. There’s a lot of intelligence there, but you can also make use of a greater amount of wisdom and insight that’s within you too. So that’s why I work that way.
Marie Forleo: I love it. Okay. So for everyone watching let’s review from the top our five steps to reprogramming, is that an okay phrase to call it?
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Yeah. [crosstalk 00:11:57] Getting your conscious on board.
Marie Forleo: On board with our conscious goal. So step one.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Step one is to, after you recognize is to be humble.
Marie Forleo: Be humble. Awesome. Step two.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Get specific.
Marie Forleo: Get specific. So we want to get the specific details about what that fear is and really interview our subconscious to know specifically what those fears are. Step three.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Step three is to make a promise.
Marie Forleo: So make a commitment to yourself that you’re not going to go there if it’s going to mean all those bad things that perhaps you are afraid of. You’re only going to get the thing that you want in the way that’s going to feel the best for you and it’s going to be in alignment.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Right.
Marie Forleo: Step four.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Step four is to find examples.
Marie Forleo: Find examples, so-
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Exemplary examples.
Marie Forleo: Exemplary examples. I love that. That’s really key. So really look around, and we can look around to anyone, whether it’s figures in history, someone we know, someone we don’t know.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: You can even be the first example on this planet to do it that way. And I really do encourage people to do so, so that they provide an example for the rest of us.
Marie Forleo: Very cool. So that was step four, and step five?
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Step five is to solidify and affirm.
Marie Forleo: Solidify and affirm. And you said some of the best times to do that are before we go to bed or after or before meditation.
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Or right upon waking.
Marie Forleo: Awesome. Very, very good. Cathy, this was amazing. I could listen to you all day and I’m sure that we’re going to have you back on Marie TV. So thank you so much for being here and-
Dr. Cathy Collautt: Thank you so much.
Marie Forleo: … for helping Shauna and for helping all of us.
Dr. Cathy Collautta: My absolute pleasure.
Marie Forleo: So now Cathy and I would love to hear from you. We want to know, have you ever had a fear of success or fear of anything and tell us what is that fear really reminding you of that you really, really want? What’s the wisdom contained in that fear? And remember, the best discussions always happen after the episode at MarieForleo.com, and we’re both going to be looking out for your answers in the comments. So leave a comment there. Did you like this video? If so, subscribe and share it with your friends. And if you want even more great insights to create a business and a life you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only share on email, get your butt over to marieforleo.com and sign up for email updates. Stay on your game, keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching Marie TV and I’ll catch you next time.
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