I can’t take it, no more, another Q&A Tuesday. It’s so awesome, isn’t it?
And Joanna writes, “No matter how much I try to get motivated, I can’t. I feel horrible that I’m falling behind in my career and business. I feel embarrassed to meet my friends, because I don’t want to talk about what I’m doing. I’ve applied to so many jobs to no avail, and I don’t seem to be putting enough effort into my business. I’m making very little money, and I’m falling deeper into debt. I have time and a very supportive husband, but still, I can’t seem to get motivated. What is going on? What is holding me back?” Joanna, Joanna, Joanna, Joanna. First thing I want you to know, girl, is you are not alone. Every single person on the planet at some point in their life has experienced this, including me, and it’s very, very painful.
I want to tell you a little story. A few months ago, my friend, and we’ll call him John, was going through a similar situation. John’s in his twenties. He’s super talented, really cute, really smart, but he was feeling lost in his life and he was embarrassed about it. He’d been stuck in the same retail job for years, and he felt like time was passing him by. I shared a few ideas with him and within a few weeks his whole life changed, I mean completely, and I’m not kidding you. He got a new job, his relationship’s back on track, and most importantly, he’s not embarrassed to talk about what he does anymore, and he’s really excited to get up and go to work every day. When you’re stuck in a rut and embarrassed about your life, there are steps you can take to get back on track. Here’s what my buddy John did, that you can do to.
Number one, be honest. Most of us have the tendency to hide our true feelings and pretend that everything’s okay, when the truth is, it’s not. You know how they say the truth will set you free? Well, it’s totally true. Whenever you’re not honest with yourself or others, you’re just going to stay stuck. The first step that John took was being honest with me. Now, being honest with your friends does not mean that you’re a Debbie Downer or that you’re a burden, especially if you stick to the facts and stay out of victim mode. For example, if you’re talking to a friend and they ask how you’re doing, don’t lie. Just say, “You know what? I’m going through a really tough time right now.” Remember, your hiding isn’t fooling anyone, it’s just keeping you stuck. Speaking of hiding, that brings me to number two.
Step number two is to get out and be around people. Don’t be a hermit until you get this all figured out. Most people think that they’re not good company if they’re going through a rough patch and that’s just not the truth. My friend, John, came to stay with us for the weekend. So even though he was going through a rough time, he did not fail on his social life. Start making plans with your friends, fill up that calendar, just being around people will help get you out of the rut.
Step number three, the most important, you have got to take action. Once John told me what was up, I knew he had to read my book, Make Every Man Want You. Now, on the surface, it seems like a relationship book. But really, truth be told, it is a book about kicking ass in life and I knew he had to read it. I gave him a copy and he started digging in immediately. Key point there, he did something. May seem obvious, but most people whine and wallow in their misery rather than just doing something about it. You could read a book like mine or take some personal development workshop, or maybe you can go see a therapist. Or how about this? Maybe you should go see the doctor and get a whole round of blood work done to make sure your health is on track.
And get things done. You can call back a friend you’ve been meaning to talk to, clean out a drawer, or maybe take a class that you’ve been meaning to take forever. Start with one thing, even if you think it has no relevance to the big life problem that you’re trying to solve. You know my mantra, “Everything is figureoutable.” But you won’t figure this one out in your head, you need to get out and take action.
Step number four, and I love this step, forget about motivation. And this is a tweetable. Losers wait for motivation, winners just get shit done. So many people wait to feel motivated before they do anything. Here’s a newsflash, happy, productive people do not wait for motivation, they just get on with it. Rather than trying to be motivated, try my bring the party technique. This is the thing that John got from my book that worked like a charm. In John’s case, bring the party meant getting really into his job, the job he already had. He decided to throw himself into every little task, and you know what? He started having a good time. No matter what he was doing, he had fun doing it. Pretty soon, all kinds of cool things opened up for him, more clarity, money, happiness, new opportunities, you name it. Wouldn’t you know it? He’s totally clear on what he wants to do in his life, and he’s already booked gigs in that field.
Do not underestimate how powerful this bring the party technique is, and you kind of got to do the shoulder shake like this. When you bring the fun and passion to everything that you do, you literally become a magnet for great stuff to start happening to you. That’s what I got, Joanna, I hope you enjoyed it. Don’t forget to let us know how it goes.
Now, here’s what I want to know from you. What do you do when you’re feeling like you’re stuck in a rut? Do you ever feel embarrassed, like you’re not ahead or where you think you should be in life? Tell me in the comments below, I know you’ve been through it, give us some of your wisdom. If you like this video, please subscribe to the channel. And of course, if you found value, share it with all your friends, because you know they’re going to thank you for it. If you want to get more than just videos from me, you need to get your butt over to marieforleo.com and sign up for email updates.
Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you for watching. Love you, can’t wait to see you next time, that’s right, next video, right here, you and me, let’s do it.
Boobs got to be used for something, right? Keeping necklaces warm, it’s a new use. Burning that shit up.