You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.read more
Always, always the best. This is the best job. It really is the best job.
Hey there, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV. It’s the place to be to create a business and life you love. Now, if you are stuck behind your screen and struggling to meet more people in real life, this episode is especially for you. Today’s question comes from Wendy who writes:
“Hi, Marie. I did B-School a few years back, and really appreciate you and your team.” We appreciate you. “In business, I’m comfortable being vulnerable online, but I realized that I’m not at all comfortable talking to people in person about what I do. I’ve recently moved to New York City, and there’s no shortage of humans. However, I’m struggling to get out from behind the screen and have real conversations. In a world that makes it easy to hide behind our computers, what are surefire tools to get me out of my comfort zone and into the world? Thanks so much, Wendy.”
Wendy, Wendy, Wendy. This is a great question. So many people watching right now can relate. Because, you know, working from home, it does have its benefits, like a flexible schedule and time freedom and, hey, you get to choose whether or not you want to wear pants.
But it can also be really isolating. And even if you love people, talking about what you do doesn’t come naturally to all of us. I know this firsthand. I mean, I used to go to parties and as soon as I would get that dreaded question, “What do you do?” I would stumble. I mean, I didn’t like the term life coach, so I’d often say, “Uh, you know what? I write things and I make videos and I help people. But, hey, do you know where the bathroom is?”
However, like most things in life, this is totally figureoutable. So here are three surefire steps to help get you going.
Step number one is set a stretch goal. Now, to be clear, this is not about stretching out your hammies while you get to know someone.
So, you got any siblings?
Yeah, you know, I have a brother.
Oh, I felt that! Oh. So you got any hobbies?
So you asked about getting outside of your comfort zone. Now, if you feel comfortable introducing yourself to, let’s say, one person a day, then set a stretch goal and introduce yourself to five. And if five feels kind of easy, go to ten. And do this for a week or three weeks and watch how quickly you grow.
Step number two is be interested, not interesting. And, look, I get this. Right? Most of us want other people to find us and our businesses interesting and captivating and fascinating. Kind of like we’re in a perfume ad.
From the moment I saw her I knew everything was figureoutable. Except for her. She was interesting. Interesting. Available at Nordstrom.
But you want to know what makes people really interested in you? It’s when you show interest in them. I mean, you could offer them a genuine compliment, you could ask some questions, or have some fun with some go-to icebreakers.
Hey. Doing a little informal poll. Toilet paper over or under, what do you think?
Hey, what’s your position on yoga farts? Do you give the side eye or just ignore? Because I got one coming.
Now, if you feel uncomfortable starting with a weird question, you can say, “Hey, you know what? I have a weird question for you,” because, hey, who doesn’t love a good weird question?
No matter what your approach, be that person who genuinely wants to know more about others, and then listen to them like they are the only person on the planet. Because the best connections rarely come from you talking. They come from you listening.
Finally, step number three is have a party line. Now, I’m not talking about an elevator pitch or a static way to answer the question, “So, what do you do?” Those things can get stale and boring fast. But what I am talking about is just a simple line that you can use to introduce yourself to anyone at any time. Here’s how I do it.
So when I’m at a party or a group event and I want to meet someone, I just walk up to them and say, “Hey, I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Marie.” And I shake their hand. It’s simple, it’s easy, and, I gotta say, it works every single time.
So, Wendy, there you have it. Those are three steps to help you get out there and start meeting more people. And I want you to notice something – none of what I shared addresses what you do, and that is on purpose. Because here’s what I’ve found, when you focus on making genuine connections with other humans, the “what you do part,” that tends to unfold naturally when the time is right. And you’re gonna wind up describing your work in the context of the human that’s in front of you. And, most important, it’ll be fresh and it won’t be formulic.
And if you want even more on this topic, be sure to watch our video called Networking Basics: Eight Tips to Networking Without Being Fakey Pants. And, of course, we have a brilliant interview with Susan Cain on Networking for Introverts. And I’ll put both of those links below this video. Now, I want to land the plane on this tweetable.
“Nothing gets attention like giving attention.”
That was my A to your Q, Wendy. I do hope it helps. And now I want to hear from you. So what steps have helped you get out there from behind your screen and meet more people? Is there anything else that you want to share in this topic with Wendy? Leave a comment below and let us know.
Now, as always, the very best conversations happen after the episode over at the wonderful land of MarieForleo.com, so head on over there and leave a comment now. Once you’re there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF insider. You’re gonna get instant access to a powerful audio called How To Get Anything You Want. You’ll also get some exclusive content and special giveaways and some personal updates from me that I do not share anywhere else.
Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams, because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching, and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.
B-School is coming up. Want in? For more info and free training go to JoinBSchool.com.
Yoga farts take one.
Oompa loompa doompetie do.
I am ass hand. I’m here to grab some ass.
Check out that area.
Little nipple twitch.
Put it in your mouth. Now eat the flower. Now eat it. Now spit it out! Spit out the flower!