Marie Forleo introduction

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I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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This past weekend, I had friends over for a scary movie night. We screamed, jumped and ate more than our fair share of popcorn. That kind of fear can be exhilarating and fun.

But fear can also be debilitating. Especially when it holds you back from doing (or continuing to do) the big things you want to do. From tackling those important projects, tasks and changes that you know, in your heart, must be done.

All of us, no matter how experienced or accomplished we may be, have fears that can hold us back. It’s part of our shared humanity.

But the quality of your life and, ultimately, your destiny will be determined by whether you’re willing to continue to face those fears and move through them — or not.

The only deadly fear is the one that holds you back from living your life. Click To Tweet

In this MarieTV, I’m asking two powerful questions that can help you continue to stay on a path of growth, learning and contribution, even if fear has kept you frozen in the past.

First, you’ll become aware of what you’re truly afraid of.

And second, describe how your life will be different if that fear was a non-issue.

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

Listen Now

You can’t change what you’re not aware of. You owe it to yourself and the world to keep growing.

Now I’d love to hear from you. In the comments below, answer both questions:

  1. What’s the exact fear that’s holding you back?
  2. What would you create or attempt to change about your life if that fear wasn’t an issue?

Remember, share as much detail as possible in your reply. Thousands of incredible souls come here each week for insight and inspiration, and your story may help someone else have a meaningful breakthrough.

Important: share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be deleted as they come across as spammy.

Thank you so much for reading, watching and allowing me into your world. Your willingness to contribute to these conversations makes this one of the bravest communities in the galaxy.

If you have friends, clients or colleagues who want to move past their fears, please share this episode.

With so much love,

XO

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330 comments

  1. Fear of letting go control over my business processes. This keeps me from scaling up. I need to allow people to help, without getting in my own way. Any advice on flying without holding on to the cockpit would be so helpful.

    I love your work, Marie. It is historicable for the self willed of our time.
    Xo, S

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      We hear you loud and clear, Sondra! You know we’ve got some MarieTV episodes that may provide just the right amount of inspiration for you and your desire to scale up. You can check them out below:

      How To Grow Your Business Without Working More–> http://marieforleo.com/2011/07/grow-your-business/

      Watch This Before You Hire Anyone For Your Business–> http://marieforleo.com/2011/02/watch-hire-business/

      Tony Robbins & Marie Forleo: Money Master The Game–> http://www.marieforleo.com/2014/12/tony-robbins/

      Want to Hire Your Dream Team? Offer These 5 Unusual Perks–> https://www.marieforleo.com/2017/10/hire-team-motivate-employees/

      • Sondra Sneed

        Thank you, Heather. I shall review. 😉 !

      • Hi Heather, can’t seem to locate the video for the first link on growing your business. Thanks for all you and Marie do to help us personally and professionally!

    • Hey Sondra! Thank you for your kind words. Advice on delegating: set people up for success and make sure expectations are clear and agreed upon. Explain exactly what success looks like, answer their Qs, be clear on deadlines and check-in points and then go for it. Leading and training others is a lifelong dance — the journey is never over so embrace it! Hope this helps 🙂

      • Hell, Just seeing your face next to this excellent advice, directed at me, alone helped. Thanks for seeing me, Marie. xo, Sneed

    • Hi Sondra,
      Great question. I have found myself in that place many times.
      Here’s what helped me:
      ** Adopting the belief that 80% done today is better than 100% done in a week.
      ** Realizing that I’ll never find or hire another me. It’s impossible. Nobody will do things exactly like I do, so I focused on finding talented people who then I trained to do things according to my expectations.
      ** Being OK with the fact that it will take time to train somebody to do things the way I like. Being OK with the fact that they will mess up, they’ll make mistakes (and that’s ok as long as they learn from them).
      __________________________________________________________________________________
      At the same time, I know that when we want to grow our businesses we have to start by transforming our inner worlds.
      I’m curious:
      ** How will your life and business look like in 3 years from now if you don’t scale it? How does that feel to you?
      ** What would be possible for you if you let go of control and got out of your way?
      ** What would be the easiest thing for you to delegate or receive help with?

      Love, C

  2. Sue

    snap Sondra, I’m there too. I fear letting go of my business too. I’d love it to grow and I’m afraid of my message staying where it is and not growing to reach more and more people. Sue X

  3. My biggest fear is probably being laughed at behind my back and making a fool of myself for thinking I did a good job but not in other people’s eyes. This stops me from sharing my work more often.

    • Hey there. I know you know this, but sometimes it’s worth hearing again: the only person you can control is yourself. Focus all of your attention and energy on learning, connecting and being of service vs. worrying about what people think about you.

      The latter is a recipe for misery. The former is the recipe for an outstanding life filled with joy, connection, growth and contribution. Choice is yours 🙂 XO

      • You are right, I’ve heard it before but who says we shouldn’t hear positive mantras as often as the bad ones that are in our heads 🙂 … so thank you, Marie, for your care and everything really <3

    • Years ago I had a job teaching classroom teachers how to integrate technology into their lessons. I was comfortable with the technology, but had never been a classroom teacher and feared their judgement. To get over that fear, I would say to myself each time I entered the classroom, “It’s OK to look like a fool.” That gave me the courage to do my job. There was never any negative feedback from the teachers. The fear was all in my head.

      • Barchi & Chocolate

        Oh, how beautiful❤ Thank you Barbara for sharing your story! Really appreciated:)

    • Hiya, I hear and feel your pain.
      I agree with Marie – change the game and determine your own success.
      All too often we place our success in other’s hands. We determine our success based on the presence of positive feedback and the absence of negative feedback.

      However it’s slightly more complicated than that. Our fears about what other people will say about us reflect our OWN fears about our self. When our deepest darkest fear is that we are a fool, then:
      a/ no amount of reassurance will convince us otherwise (as you say yourself, you won’t believe any positive feedback)
      b/ It triggers procrastination and it’s fancy cousin – perfectionism (where we never launch our ‘thing’ as we never finish it – on the rationale that if only we can get it prefect than no one will criticize it)

      The sub-text of both ordinary and fancy procrastination is “if you don’t try you can’t fail”.

      The only thing that is worse than a horrible suspicion that you are [insert your worst fear here] is having that suspicion confirmed.

      c/ we CANNOT produce a piece or work (or be ourselves) in a way that EVERYBODY will agree is perfect. Quite aside from personal subjectivity (think of a book you love that someone you know didn’t like) the sad reality is that our success holds up an uncomfortable mirror to the inadequacies of others (shout out to Brene Brown)

      The haters want you to play small. And they will even hate you for that. As the ghost said, the haters gonna hate. You will never win if you play by their rules.

      What to do?
      Set your own rules. Redefine your markers for success. On your terms – not in terms of other people’s feedback but based on your values. For example, my top values include: courage, authenticity & vulnerability.

      Our values can failproof us. If I try something and it doesn’t ‘work out’ – I check my values. If I was courageous, then…success! I also usually check in with my motivations and benchmarks for success before I launch into something.

      It’s about changing our cognitive habits that cause fear and avoidance. I’ll spare you the behavior psychology proof, but the fastest way to reach a goal is to either ignore or have compassion for our real or imagined failures, and to have powerful rewards for the smallest amount of progress in the right direction.

      And the most powerful rewards (and punishments) are immediate (this is why the donut NOW is so much more powerful than even desperately wanted but far away weight loss goals).

      And what are the immediate rewards (and punishments) closest at hand?

      – our self talk.

      Wishing you all the best – and sending us all belief in ourselves.
      Rebecca

      • Dear Rebecca,
        you just left me speechless! Wow, what a valuable insight and advice. I am beyond grateful, everything you said totally resonates with me.
        I’ll now apply your strategy, can’t really wait 🙂
        Wishing you all the best and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
        Barchi

        • Dear Barchi, thank you.
          It helps me if I can help others avoid some of the pain I have been through.
          I promise you the gold lies beyond the dragons.
          🙂
          Rebecca

          • Alexis Irwin

            Wow! This thread was so helpful to read! Thank you both for sharing and offering such great advice with a detailed explanation.
            -Alexis

          • Thanks so much for your positive feedback Alexis, it means a lot sorry, can’t reply directly to your comment – I think you were the end of the thread)

            In fact I feel positively REWARDED by your lovely feedback. And behaviours that get rewarded get repeated, so you have just increased the probability I will do my best to offer some helpful psychology insights again (!)

            On the topic of rewards – the fastest way to reach out goals is to reward even the TINIEST bit of effort in the right direction (instead of punishing them by beating ourselves up for our real or imagined ‘failures’ – just for a change)

            For example, if you’ve just done 10 minutes on That Super Important Thing you’ve been avoiding – then reward yourself.

            Rewarding your efforts makes it easier to keep going.

            Conversely, if you beat yourself up (“I should have started sooner, there’s so much to do, I don’t have enough time” etc.) it decreases the probability you’ll try again and therefore makes it much harder to get started again (I.e. the cause of procrastination)

            See what you made me write with your cunning rewarding feedback!
            🙂
            Rebecca

          • Thank you again for this … I’ve already started with some action … yay, and I spread the word with my friends … so your reply has a ripple effect <3

        • Dear Barchi,

          I am beyond delighted you are teaching your brain to associate effort with reward (instead of punishment) AND spreading ripples for my work.

          Kia kaha, kia toa (be strong, be brave)
          🙂 from New Zealand,
          Rebecca

      • That’s so true and beautifully said. Thank you, Rebecca.

    • I feel you!

  4. Wow! I just read Sondra’s comment, and mine is the same! I’m afraid of letting go of control of my business as well… For years, I’ve done it all alone. Me! Moi! Ich! Myself. Alone. All the teaching, and curriculum development and marketing, all the hands-on stuff, all the movie making, content creation… Phew! Time to get some help, eh? The only problem is… Nobody can do it as good as I can. AHHHHH!!!! I hate to be a control freak, and I’m usually pretty darn easy going, but when it comes to my business? Nope.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Hi there, Corina! I replied to Sondra with some episodes of MarieTV that you may also find helpful so I’ve also listed them below for you as well. The beautiful thing is once you acknowledge and identify what’s holding you back, you can take action keeping in mind what you know about yourself and your business. You’ve worked hard to get your business to where it is today and when you expand your mission you will be able to impact MORE people in the world. We believe in you. xo

      How To Grow Your Business Without Working More–> http://marieforleo.com/2011/07/grow-your-business/

      Watch This Before You Hire Anyone For Your Business–> http://marieforleo.com/2011/02/watch-hire-business/

      Tony Robbins & Marie Forleo: Money Master The Game–> http://www.marieforleo.com/2014/12/tony-robbins/

      Want to Hire Your Dream Team? Offer These 5 Unusual Perks–> https://www.marieforleo.com/2017/10/hire-team-motivate-employees/

    • Marie really attracts some amazing folks, Corina. You have a beautiful family business. I would love to bring my husband up to your homestead and play one day. I can’t wipe this grin off my face from your about video.

      • Sondra, thanks for pointing out Corina’s video. Wow, Corina! What a lovely homestead you have, and what beautiful offerings!

  5. Fear of what people think about my work and not making a successful business.
    Thanks Marie, you are an inspiration in many ways. Cecilia

  6. Beverly Menninger

    Fear of striking out on my own and not doing it well enough or getting in over my head.

  7. Coach Sherry

    Fear of rejection. I wrap so much into my coaching business that when someone doesn’t value it or doesn’t want it, it’s a direct hit to me personally. Logically I know it is not about me rather not the right time for them, however, emotionally it hits me in my heart. This fear keeps me from going to networking meetings or calling on businesses that are my target markets.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      That person not wanting your coaching is simply making way with time and energy for the person right around the corner who is looking for EXACTLY what you have to offer. You’ve got this because your heart knows your WHY and your mission. Keep that top of mind, always. xo

  8. Beverly Menninger

    If my fear wasn’t an issue, I would create my own business confidently with strong marketing and web presence, making my own schedule and doing as much or as little as I want and need. I would have the money I needed to do the extra things I really need to do in my home and for my professional development.

  9. Elna

    I am gradually learning to react to fear! How ? Just to look at the funny side of it! And that big mountain become a small beautiful mountain to climb up.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      LOVE this perspective, Elna! Here’s to smaller mountains and more laughs. xo

  10. Anna

    I’m not exactly sure what my fear is, but there sure is a lot that I don’t do because I’m afraid to disturb people or that they are smarter then I am. Therefore I don’t say much, until I’m very sure that I say the right things.

    • Charles

      Are you afraid of other peoples perception of you? Do you fear that you actually have no value to bring? Or something else?? I am no guru, but it seems to me that if you speak your mind and share your thoughts and ideas then you cannot ‘disturb’ other people. As long as they have kind hearts, if they are smarter then they would be glad to enlighten you which you can simply view as a learning experience, not a personal deficit.
      Maybe your idea isn’t perfect but it brings one of these ‘smarter’ people to a better idea than they would have originally come up with.
      And if they don’t have kind hearts than whatever they think about you doesn’t matter.
      And maybe you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for : )
      hope i was of some help

  11. I am becoming more courageous to be by myself. I had problems with feeling abandoned when I was younger so this process is a difficult one for me. But what I have noticed is that when I am by myself, the creative flow runs right through me and I receive many new, inventive ideas. I am learning this alone time is very much a blessing instead of an emptiness. Look forward to seeing what the Universe wants to create through me next. Thanks for the video Marie. It was wonderful as usual.

  12. Marie

    That I don’t really know what I am doing ! Just took training in Arcturian Healing Light, I have always work in the business world and now embarking on a spiritual healing path to bring Love and Light to this world. Thank you for your great work! you truly are a creator.

  13. nuella

    Fear of starting my dream business. I have always asked what if I fail.

  14. Fear of judgement is preventing me from making videos to support my online presence. I have a blog and I feel that videos will really help me build a connection with my audience. I tend to do tons of research before trying anything new because I’m afraid of looking stupid. Usually I waste too much time researching/overthinking instead of taking action and learning from hands on experience.

    • Hi Deirdre, I hope it’s okay with Marie and her team that I share a video from outside her network, but I want to tell you about something I did in May (and I hope it’s of interest to you.) It’s called the Shine Video Challenge (http://www.niamharthur.com) by Naimh Aurthur. It’s a ten day program of how to create videos. Naimh gave me insights to help understand how to use YouTube, as well as tips on things like lighting, sound, background interest and more. And each day she gave a “challenge,” a theme of what to talk about each day. Anyway, I could go on and on. I learned a lot from her. She offers this challenge quite often and I’m able to do the challenge as many times as I’d like. 🙂

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Deirdre, you can always practice with just you and your laptop (just like how Marie started out) and get the feel for how you can gain ease with the camera. Perfection is a myth. Progress comes from engagement, not thought. Press record and try!

    • Dinora Macedo

      Hey Deirdre!
      I relate a lot to your current experience with fear. I too am going through the same situation, hours and hours of research because I’m too worried about what others will think of me. I try to tell my self that there will always be people in the world that wont be happy no matter how much you try so just be yourself, love me or hate me. Even though I tell my self this I still am not 100% confident. Are you doing anything that is helping you with your fear?

  15. My fear is of making the same mistakes twice. If I didn’t recognize them well enough the first time, I could do it again. I’d rather learn from new mistakes, or from someone else, not repeat my same failure loops.

    • A consistent journaling practice can really help with this Yvonne. But you have to go back and read what you wrote!

      • Absolutely Marie! I’ve taught life journaling for many years now… What’s important is to write about the mistakes, of course, but getting down deep inside yourself and write about why you thought the idea (which you think turned into a mistake) would work for you… What were you thinking, what were you feeling prior to what you did. Then write down WHY you felt it was a mistake, because most of the time, things we think are mistakes turn out to be blessings in disguise! And write again about your FEELINGS. Do you feel sad, embarrassed, frightened someone will judge you because of it, and lastly think about where in your body you can feel it. Did making the mistake make your stomach hurt, could you feel it in your diaphragm? Perhaps it broke your heart. But writing down all of this in detail isn’t just left by the wayside then… You read it and reread it. And the idea is to be able to read it again and FEEL the same pain you felt before. It’s those FEELINGS that give us the courage to choose something else or, like I mentioned earlier, oftentimes when you come back to it, you’ll be able to see that “mistake” as a life lesson and be able to see the road that brought the beautiful you to to the unique place you are now.

      • Dinora Macedo

        Thank you very much for this idea! I will start my own journal, I am confident this will help me with my current fears!

        Blessings!

  16. My fear is happening now! I’ve wanted my own membership site to help photographers elevate their work and to get out of a stagnant feel they may have. I’m not as big as I should to really grab a lot of photographers and was scared to do this… but I did and yep, I only have 6 signed up now and my presale ends Sunday, Nov 5th. Sad face….because I really wanted at least 20 so the members feel they have a community.

    • Hi Janice, have you thought of offering a referral gift to see if the ones who joined might help get people interested? Just a thought if you haven’t already. Good luck.
      Mary

      • Hi Mary 🙂
        Thank you so much for the idea. I did have this for people who signed up for the membership updates. For the presale, I’m now giving everyone 1 month free.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Janice, yet if you flip it and think about you have those 6 as of now and a few more days to welcome more in! That’s 6 more than you had if you didn’t launch at all and you can now pour into those amazing people that said YES to you and learn in more detail what they need.
      You’ve taken the leap and are doing the work! HOORAY for that! You’ve got this.

    • Janice, what a neat idea! It usually takes time to “get butts in seats.” Continue to advertise, perhaps on FB and other social media… In time, you’ll get more and more. Good luck! I’m a very amature photographer, but this is definitely something I’d be interested in!

      • Janice Sullivan

        Thank you so much Janie! Yes, I have a FB add now but I’m making a quick video today to add another. I’m also going to try Instagram with this video too. I’m crossing fingers and toes to make this work for the members.

    • Have you thought of offering $9/$19/$29 levels of membership with increasing benefits of being a member? $29/month seems steep for a monthly commitment and a free first month might just get your tire kickers. May be hard to rise to the expectations of a well-oiled $29/month community your first month. Good luck!

      • Hi Michelle,
        Yep, I have a first month free for the presale. With this membership, I have live calls where I actually work with the members. They also have access to my paid content and I give them bonuses that know one else will get. Basically, I have a lot of interaction with them so I feel the price is right.

        Thank you so much for your ideas I like them and it gives me food for thought.

  17. Ariane

    I have the fear of being laughed at. I really don’t take myself seriously, and I want my blog to be full of jokes and sillyness, but I’m afraid people will find it stupid… I’m torned between being okay about it because it’s who I am and being scared that it won’t lead to a business because nobody takes it seriously.

    • Ooo Ariane! This sounds like something fun to follow and read! Some people just don’t get it, lol. Getting back to the advice of Marie from years ago (although I’m forgetting when and on what video) but she said: Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay (I’m sure those weren’t her exact words, lol).

      • Ariane

        You’re so right!! I gotta embrace my sillyness 😛 I actually think I found the video you’re talking about: https://www.marieforleo.com/2011/11/fear-of-being-judged/
        Thanks so much! 🙂

        • You do Ariane… that’s what makes you unique. 🙂 I like to be silly too but when the camera is on me I change, hahaha Need to change that…I’ll watch the video you added for some inspiration. 🙂

          • Ariane

            Lets all change that together! 🙂

    • Daniel Pereira

      Hi Ariane
      Don’t ever allow such thoughts survive in your mind.
      Remember we are all unique individuals in every way that we have been created all from birth, no one is perfect or will ever be. Perfection doesn’t exist anywhere, because progress and technology advances by the second, what we can call perfect now to our liking but just now will be replaced by something better or more efficient, so where is the perfection gone. HAHAHA yes Ariane let them laugh because the ones that usually do laugh are the ones cannot do any better, so jealousy thrives with stupidity.
      Being scared you should never be, as long is not to loose your life. We all try to succeed one way or another, yes we will have idiots that they will laugh at us, but you know what? with persistence you will survive with glory and leave the others biting their nails with jealousy. What a Pleasure to know and see HAHAHA
      Remember you will find rejection in all points of your life from another, but look at the reality. Whatever you do is your creation alone good or bad to others opinion doesn’t matter, as long you are satisfied of what you did. And always look forward and see in your mind the end thriving glorious results.
      (Because nobody takes it seriously) what a joke, nobody will ever take anyone serious if doesn’t line up their pockets; if you know what I mean. But the only way to find out seriously, is do it or start, then you can see if is a yes or no, but never give up on the first or second attempt, give a chance.
      Good example: A man with poor education like Thomas Edison hundreds of fails, having people laughing at his idea and look what it came about. Why!!!!!! persistence time and time again, it payed off that today the all world is benefiting.

      • Ariane Lariviere

        You are totally TOTALLY right! Thank you so much. Great example, Thomas Edison. What is it that you do? If you don’t mind me asking 🙂

  18. Fear that I won’t be able to make a living doing what I most love – sharing my music with people around the country & the world. I’m getting older ( am middle-aged with grown kids) and I think I have a good product with my shows & my CDs, but have so much fear around really putting it out there, 24-7. There is such uncertainty and risk in living a creative life. What if the people don’t come? So many people don’t seem to want to ay for live music anymore. It’s scary. But with the years I have left, I want to spend my waking hours & my energy on what I love most. And really LIVE. In love. Thanks for your inspiring messages, Marie!

  19. Rachel

    Fear of success – which prompts a fear of needing to continue to being successful

    • Jennifer

      I also have a fear of success. It sounds ridiculous but it’s true for me. I am a little concerned about having to continue to outshine myself. But more than that, I am afraid people will resent me for being awesome at what I do. When I start to get on a roll, have some success and I tell others what I plan to do next, so often they stomp on my plans and dreams. I’ve decided that means that if I actually DID what I planned to do, they wouldn’t just stomp on my plans, they would HATE me for succeeding. The ironic thing is that these negative people are so negative that I avoid them now anyway. So what if they hate me for succeeding?!? They aren’t even really in my life anymore anyway. Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for someone to give me permission to succeed. I know I don’t need permission from anyone else. I hereby grant myself permission to be a brilliant amazing success.

  20. Ramona

    Have been fearing rejection.
    If that fear was not an issue, I would ask my list of potential sponsors to fund my film short. I would submit my film short for film festivals. I’d get on the phone and make cold calls for booking gigs…reserve the event space I have access to for my new workshop.

  21. I fear rejection and “making a fool of myself”. I fear I’m a fraud. I fear people wouldn’t like my art or find my work useless

    If the fear were gone I would create my book and launch my online classes…

    • Jennifer

      Art is never useless.

  22. The big fear holding me back is the fear that I will think I am doing a great job, but in reality, my work will suck, and I’ll damage my credibility, be called out as a fraud, look “stupid” and and have to change my identity and never show my face again. My kids will be embarrassed by me and not pursue their own dreams because I proved it’s a stupid idea. I’d have to get a “job” and slowly die an agonizing death from “sameness”, like waking up in groundhog day, over and over and over…
    If fear wasn’t an issue, I would create a traveling school where my students would collaborate on projects while traveling the globe. It would be augmented with online programs to study at their own pace, but mostly on-the-job training and continuous workshops presented by the students themselves. It would be called the school of lyfe and be self-supporting, the income from the projects supporting the travel, accommodations, and food. It would be an eclectic bunch, with training in all aspects of life, business, sciences, philosophy, art and technologies.

    • I love your school idea!! I think thousands of college age students would love an experience based alternative to university and I think thousands of middle aged folk disillusioned by their college/work thing would love an opportunity to get the experiences they wish they had while in college to help them figure out a new path. I say go for it!

    • Charles

      I absolutely love this idea as well!! In fact many times I have dreamed that alternative options existed like this, or that I could literally start my own university in order to teach the things really important to life. I dont know how thoroughly you’ve analyzed the logistics, but if this is something that you can pull off go for it and dont look back!!!

    • Jennifer

      Tammy,
      That sounds pretty cool. I’m sure a ton of people would want to join you. Who cares what people think? Go do it! You got this!!!

    • So, in four years you might say this?

      “I have a traveling school where my students collaborate on projects while traveling the globe.

      “I augment with online programs, for study at their own pace, but mostly on-the-job training and continuous workshops, which are presented by the students themselves.

      “I call it the School of Lyfe. It is be self-supported. The income is from the projects that support travel, accommodations, and food.

      “It would be an eclectic bunch, with training in all aspects of life, business, sciences, philosophy, art and technologies.”

      —-
      I have a question…
      Would foreign exchange students and other forms of global studentry be a resource, or who are your students? Form where they come?

      Warmly and encouragingly,
      Sondra

  23. I love this one! I actually practice this monthly. The first of the month I ask myslef “If I knew I wouldn’t fail, what would I do?” and I make it my goal that month to do it. Sometimes its a bigger thing and I take a first step other times it’s a business endeavor or a personal growth. But the 1st of every month I ask myself that question and by the last of the month I have one step to overcome it. It’s a great practice

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      What a spectacular practice, Michelle! And then 12 months later you’ve moved a mountain with your actions. Thanks for sharing it with us here- you may have just changed someone’s life. xo

  24. Danielle

    I am fearful of going back into debt to pursue a dream that is not guaranteed. I’m trying to make enough money to get my husband out of his 9-5 so he can solely run his business, but advancements seem scammy and all have a cost. I work hard, teach myself, and have history of success, but nothing is good enough to take the leap.

    • Danielle

      And if fear wasn’t an issue – I would go all in. I have a sporadic energy that would take us in a lot of different directions. But honestly, even if I wasn’t scared, I’d still think it through and weigh the costs. Maybe my fear is holding me back from really reflecting and trusting myself to take another step.

      Thanks for the prompt, Marie 🙂

  25. I had to really ponder this. Up until this past summer, I was afraid of calling someone, and not having the perfect “thing” to say. In August, I called most of the top leaders in my community to gather at my office to explore how as a community we would address the opioid situation. EVERY ONE I called agreed to meet. Not a single person turned me down. I even had some difficult conversations.
    After that, I haven’t been afraid of tackling anything. When I’ve been asked how I got over my fear, my reply was, I did it (making the phone calls) afraid. Each phone call presented its own challenges, yet, I knew, no one else was going to make the calls for me. It was a great lesson in doing something, in the face of fear.

  26. Charles

    I am afraid that if I don’t hold on to (all) my stuff (books, notes, etc.) that I will lose or forget the knowledge and wisdom present in them. As if there are answers of gold (as if I must cling tight to every piece of wisdom I obtain for fear of losing it forever) that without will leave me unhappy.
    Any help would be greatly appreciated : )

    • Is your tendency to cling to an “identity” that isn’t really “who you are” costing you the life waiting to emerge? We are more than the things we carry. Sometimes we have to lay them down to discover the truth.

      • Charles

        Yes you are on to something.! Thank you seriously a million for taking your time to respond. We are more than the things we carry, I like that. But i think a little less that I desire to cling to a certain identity and a little more that I am afraid I will not reach the level of fulfillment/proficiency that I desire or am capable of in life (due in part to having been given answers that have taken individuals in some cases years to come to — and not having applied them as I wish, letting them rot so to speak)

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Charles, this is a very real and valid thought. Marie spoke with Liz Gilbert on MarieTV and she spoke about this exact thing. You may find the conversation helpful and inspiring. You can watch it here through the link below:
      What Elizabeth Gilbert Wants You To Know About Big Magic—> http://www.marieforleo.com/2015/09/elizabeth-gilbert-big-magic/

      • Charles

        Thanks a lot Heather, the video was very insightful and I am taking the advice to heart! Thanks for what you do!!

  27. I’m afraid that if I push my business further, I will have even less time and more problems. Dont want to miss out on time with my family.

    • Hey Sheli! Don’t prioritize your schedule, schedule your priorities. If quality time with family is important to you, set it in the calendar. This way, you KNOW on a weekly basis that you have set, non-negotiable time with them and can focus fully on your business outside of that.

  28. I’m afraid of working hard. I’m afraid I don’t have what it takes to work hard so I avoid taking on things that will move me forward. Does anyone else feel this way?

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      Lynn, you’re absolutely not alone in feeling this way! And oftentimes, what we’re afraid of doesn’t end up being half as difficult as we’d thought. Marie says this time and again: ‘clarity comes from engagement, not thought’.

      While it can feel scary to see a mountain of big, difficult leaps ahead of you, breaking those down into small, manageable tasks can feel liberating. And if you’re truly in doubt, ask for help along the way! You got this!

  29. Marie, I ask that questiona lot. At different times in my life I am fearful of different things. I can extract the main theme and that is failure to achieve the desired outcome. If I fail what happens ? The people who counted on me, the money, how do I look , what do I say. These are my fears . The biggest one right now is what about my family , I fail and they suffer . The house the food the car. I fail and they participate in the failure. Sure they will benefit from my success. I cannot fail, there is an at stake -ness which involves more than me. It has been stopping me for some time now, while I get the circumstances and conditions just right. If this were not a fear, I would be on Marie TV !!

  30. Aischa

    My fear is that I won’t to be expert in my field like I need to be. I specialize in mobility training for athletes and I’m terrified that I won’t be able to help them like I said I can. It’s held me back for years!

  31. Mary Lahti

    Hi Marie,
    I have a fear of getting sued by people who just want to take things away from me I worked so hard for. It’s the thing you don’t think about until you get closer to your dream and then start to hear horror stories. If I didn’t have this fear, I would be out public speaking, coaching my fun program and volunteering more. I’m trying to figure out the best way to get protection so I can move beyond this fear and stop it! I’m working on it. HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEN!!
    Mary

    • Hey Mary! Talking with your accountant, a lawyer, and insurance broker can address most of this. Make the calls and get it handled 🙂

      • Thank you! I’m just now learning about how to set this up. This was the part of business where I rather GREEN. As always, thank you so much for sharing such great content and in a most fun and entertaining way. Happy Halloween !

  32. Rashmi

    I have a beginners problem. Fear could be a factor but its more of not knowing how to go about it. I feel so great about the idea so much so that i have butterflies in my stomach. If thats a good sign, i do so want to make it happen but don’t know how to begin and lay out my path.
    Rashmi

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      We like to think that nervousness and butterflies are signals that you’re onto something exciting, Rashmi. Break your actions into small steps and schedule them into your days and weeks. If it’s not scheduled, it’s not real. I think you’re onto something 😉

  33. Fear of not actually fully trying and going for my business all in (getting the books written, reaching out to schools to speak, etc.) — because I’ve done that many times before across plenty of sections of life (and then would find an excuse: “If I’d had more time or tried a little more, things might have worked out differently”).

    And this was an interesting go round with this question — I thought it’d be my usual: “I’m afraid of what others may think, if they think my ideas are dumb” route, and then the above popped to mind. Thanks, Marie and team, for helping me go a bit deeper this morning!

  34. Mahal

    My strongest fear is not being able to get out of a situation. If this fear weren’t making noise in my life, I would be open to a partnership the leads to marriage.

  35. Fab

    I am most afraid of sucking at what I am supposed to be the best. I guess that sentence resumes my fears pretty well.

    The second question is actually my biggest problem because I think my fear killed my dream already. I have been frozen for so long that I have no clue what I really, really want to do with my life. I don’t know what my dream is. Writing, maybe, but still, I don’t know exactly about what.

    • Charles

      maybe starting something, small steps, even if you dont know your ultimate dream, will eventually bring you to your (hidden) dream

    • Jennifer

      Fab,
      Think about what you loved to do as a child (and why you loved that) and it might point you to your passion.

  36. Brian Victor Hernandez

    What a truly great, inspirational question. Another great one for me is; What would you be doing with your life if you did’nt need to pursue money or wealth? Imagine yourself in one of the many rooms in your many mansions? What Would You Be Doing Then?

    Thank You Marie And Friends for raising the vibration of love. Take Care, Brian

  37. I would buy that abandoned church and make it my home and art studio where I can offer art classes as well as paint and create furniture and decor. The fear here is the fear of financial stability.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Oh, Heidi, that sounds spectacular! Make a plan. Get the numbers on paper in a real and tangible way. Create a list of actions that will take you from concept to reality. Ya never know 😉

  38. Mary Russell

    If I could release the fear of not being capable of taking care of myself I could probably to ANYTHING.

  39. Eva

    I just mind-listed three major work projects I’ve been afraid of doing and decided to move forward with them once and for all! Thanks Marie! Amazing what one would do if we felt no fear!

    • Well done Eva! If you haven’t already, take some action on that project RIGHT NOW. A decision isn’t real until we’ve moved on it. Rock on 🙂

  40. Barbara

    If I weren’t afraid of not being good enough, I would advertise. And I would offer more than just straight massage, I’d offer some healing energy modalities. But it’s easier to stay small.

    • Jennifer

      Have you ever considered partnering with a group of women who do different healing modalities and having in home parties for groups of women to try each modality? If you get 5 or 6 healers to all advertise the service on their websites, you could all expand your customer base tremendously.

  41. Tera Joti Kaur

    I think I’m afraid to be bored and, as a multi-passionate person, I’m also afraid to choose. I have 2 distinct interests: Real Estate (currently in it full time)and Kundalini Yoga. Trying to find a third way, one that merges the 2, but then, I am again faced with 2 options: developing a corporate coaching program using the Kundalini Yoga technology or creating a Kundalini Yoga lifestyle brand that would include AirBnB real estate or other types of real estate ventures. Help! LOL
    And, if I wasn’t afraid, I would take the time to sit down and have a real honest conversation with myself and go for what feels fun, a lot of fun.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Tera, we feel you! It can be so challenging to decide next steps when you love multiple things. We sometimes want to put them all together to ‘make it work’, yet maybe you don’t have to. We have some key MarieTV episodes around this exact issue that I think you may find helpful. Give them a watch and you may find insight that you’ve been seeking:

      Franchesca Ramsey Gets Real About Creating a World-Changing Career–> https://www.marieforleo.com/2017/10/franchesca-ramsey/

      Should You Start More Than One Business at Once? Watch This to Help You Decide–> https://www.marieforleo.com/2017/06/two-businesses/

      How To Be Multipassionate Without Looking Flaky–> http://www.marieforleo.com/2016/07/multipassionate/

      • Tera Joti Kaur

        Thanks Heather!

    • Jennifer

      Tera,
      You are my soul sister. I am a Realtor, a yoga teacher and an energy healer. I also have a massive passion for veganism and healing illnesses with diet. I can’t possibly choose either. I love all my interests. It took me five years but I finally figured out how to blend the yoga, energy healing and diet…you already said it. Corporate wellness. So do that and sell real estate. You don’t have to blend the two. They can stay separated. I used to think people would think I was nuts and scattered but the truth is that the healthy stuff balances the stress of selling real estate.

      • Tera Joti Kaur

        Thanks Jennifer! Am very grateful for your answer. And I loved to read about your own journey!

  42. Kyra

    My fear is feeling dumb, I can’t concentrate on my studies as I always fear that I might not get the concepts right…I might not understand because of an earlier missing concept…I might not complete my project work on time…means never.

    If this fear wouldn’t be with me, I would read my books to fetch my curiosity..my dreams…my ambition. I would love to do that forever only if I wasn’t this much afraid of my failure attempts.
    I feel like having a zero or negative experience on my dream path.

  43. ysabelle gamelin

    to be success and to lose it all not be able manage the suceed

  44. akram

    hello, im akram 22 years old and my question is my self -confident very low and sometimes i felf shy to have a regular eyes contact with people when we having a conversation.what should i do to ne more comfort and confident in front of public?

    • Practice! Find a friend you trust, someone you feel safe with and practice looking them in the eyes while you talk. Rather than glaring at them, soften your eyes to a gentle, smiling gaze. Put all your attention on listening to what they have to say!

  45. Henry

    English is not my mother language, and I’m always afraid of applying jobs that say “perfect communication skill.” I love marketing and content creation, and if I wasn’t afraid of my language skill, I would apply for those jobs.

  46. Yvonne

    If I had no fear I would quit my job and start my own business selling the things I make and teaching classes; open an art gallery/classroom/showroom. I would also offer Reiki, as a Reiki Master I would offer reiki sessions to help other people. Art and reiki as healing therapy, helping others find themselves and move toward their dreams.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Thank you for sharing, Yvonne. Have you thought about starting to build a business on the side while you work? We’re big fans of ‘bridge jobs’ around here- jobs that you have while you also build your business. Marie worked loads of jobs as she built her business. Financial security is important and it allows you to carve out time on the side to learn and build your business.

  47. Carolina

    Afraid to travel alone! Difficult to get over that one since bad things do happen to women. But it would be great to do it anyway and learn a lot form it/advance in life/get new perspectives! 🙂

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      Carolina, have you considered starting small? Maybe take quick weekend trips by yourself at first before you pull out all the stops and travel the world solo. Build your confidence in navigating cities and towns nearby, talking to people and making connections, and becoming aware of your surroundings, and you’ll be ready to board a plane anywhere. You might also want to take a self-defense class, which would not only prepare you for the journey, but also bump you up a few notches on the badass scale as well!

  48. I guess it’s time to be honest with myself. I do not fear failure, I fear success. I have so many ideas for my business, but I stick to the day-to-day, like most people do. Each time I want to do something it goes “What if it’s a success ?” “What if people criticize because it works ?” “What if …” So I procrastinate, postpone every projects.
    How can I just let go, and do what I REALLY want to do ?

    • Hi Sophie! EFT will totally help! I have this exact same fear and it kept me stuck for years! Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping) does exactly this, letting go of fear and helping you move forward. I use two fingers and “tap” on different points while I say my fear out loud and finish with “I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” So what I did was say “Even though I’ll be criticized for being successful, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” And you just let it go from there. I tap between my eyebrows, the outside of my eye, the top of my cheekbone, under my nose, and on my chin. I just repeat the fear and keep tapping on those points until I feel the knot in my stomach disappear. It’s been a life saver, I tap on tons of stuff every day to keep focused on that consistent, imperfect action like Marie says. I hope that helps!

  49. Jenn

    I have two fears. 1) I’m the primary bread winner in our home, so I’m scared we won’t have the financial support we need if I quit my job. Otherwise I’d quit tomorrow because I’ve wanted to leave this job for about 5 years. 2) I have tried a few different business ideas that were successful to varying degrees. But I guess I’m scared that the next idea will end up like all the others… only slightly successful, not exactly what I want, and me walking away from it after trying really hard for 2 years and realizing it’s not right. I think I’m sick of that cycle, so I’ve paralyzed myself with this ridiculous idea that the next business venture has to be “the one”. So now every idea I come up with, I’m taking myself out of because it doesn’t sound sustainable enough, or fulfilling enough, or like it would make a big enough difference in others’ lives, or like it would be profitable enough…or any other number of reasons the little gremlins in my brain come up with to shoot it down before I start.

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Jenn, thanks for taking the time to share with us so openly and honestly. Rather than thinking about the end outcome of money and “the one”, where does your curiosity lead you? What brings you joy? And Marie always asks, when was the last time you had FUN?
      Bring ease to the ideas rather than pressure. What feels intuitive and right will bubble to the surface when there’s less strain and more space. You don’t have to solve it all right now, you simply have to pay attention and start to take small actions.

  50. Noelle

    My biggest fear is letting go of the security of my every day job to venture out into creative endeavors. I started out living a creative life with my formal education, but by my mid-20’s, I found myself in the exact rut I never wanted to be in – in an uninspired day job. Now, years later, I’ve made some attempts to get back into creativity, including some bold moves, but I realize as I creep further into my 40’s, that I’m just as embedded in my day-to-day grind as I’ve ever been.

    My fear used to be rejection and failure, but now it’s turned into my fear of being one of those people who is never satisfied, always searching and not able to accept that fact that a full-time creative career never happened. If I didn’t have fear, I would feel confident that I have the right have a creative career, without judging myself for being “silly” to want it. I think this fear of never living a full life is the biggest one for me right now.

  51. As I am sitting here contemplating writing my letter of resignation: fear of failure in my business after I leave my day job. But yet, I need to leave my day job to focus more on providing great products and service to my clients in my business! Time to jump!

  52. I’m afraid I won’t be successful enough in my business endeavors to support myself financially.

  53. laurel

    Like many people’s comments, I’m afraid of failing and that my dream will never come true. I’ve worked 7 days a week for 3 years on my online business. I put a successful career on hold to chase my dream of working for myself. Every day I keep going because I have hope but I’m afraid that I’m not being realistic. I’m really looking forward to B-school!!

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      We’d love to have you, Laurel, if the time is right for your life and business. Between now and then, keep taking action and doing the work. When we show up for our dreams, we get closer to them.

  54. Oh goodness Marie, I don’t know if I actually have a BIGGEST fear, there’s several I’d like to work on… The one that pops into my mind right now though is fear of doing my thing really well and then feeling that I have to be able to maintain that level of success, how will I do it? I’ve become so accustomed to letting myself down and being okay with doing so (well, feeling frustrated about it, but it’s my status quo so I actually oftentimes expect it. : / But in September I read a book I really enjoyed, I identified with the main character pretty much to a tee… It was called Made For Me, I don’t remember the author right now… But the gist of it was the main character, Michelle, always wanted to be a designer (she’s almost 30), she feels like like she’s always been floundering with her life… I don’t want to say too much, in case someone wants to read it as well… But when I’d finished the book, I said to myself, “I wish I could do that.” Within the next half hour or so I’d had an epiphany and said, “Wait! Why the hell cant I?”

    A friend gave me a book earlier in the year, which I was procrastinating on reading. But once I told myself, “Why the hell cant I,” I picked it up. Oh my goodness it’s changing my life… Seriously! It teaches women how to do what they love to do and make a living at doing it. It starts with that dreaded FEAR you’re talking about. And helped me get out some stuff and really THINK about what’s been holding me back. She goes step by step thru each process of starting any size business you have in mind. (Hopefully it’s okay with you to share the names of these books as resources) It’s called Business Boutique by Christy Wright. She’s part of the Dave Ramsey team.

    What I’m about to do (I’m hoping I can finally follow thru after all of the work I’ve put into this for the last month) start an Etsy site to sell the collage boards and various collage cards, journals, books, and much more. (This is my first step, when I get ahead of myself is when I start freaking out and the overwhelm stops my entire process, EEK!)

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      It sounds as though, Janie, that you’ve been showing up for your dreams and self is a really BIG way and for that you should be so very proud. You’re doing the internal, soul-searching work that is sometimes the toughest to do. And with that momentum and positive energy, you’re now creating action towards making your dream a reality. That’s amazing! Keep going after it. You and your dreams are worth it.

  55. Archana

    I have fear of looking weird in public..

    • Hi Archana, I THOUGHT I had a fear of looking weird in public, until I asked my two grown children: what is uniquely weird about me, and they both agreed that I have absolutely no problem being embarrassing in public, lol. And you know what? They’re absolutely right. When they were growing up and they’d act out and fighting in a public place, I’d usually do one of two things, if we were in a store I’d start dancing. And if we were in a restaurant, I’d start talking with a southern accent (We live in Michigan, but there was about a year much earlier in my life that I lived in Chatanooga, Tennessee) Either option would do the trick, becuase instead of fighting with each other, they both changed to having a untried front pleading for me to stop! Hahaha

  56. Sonja

    My exact fear right now is will my health improve or get worse? That little voice – which is much smaller and barely speaks above a whisper any more – says that I am going to get worse and never get out of bed again. But I don’t really believe that. People with my illness (not life threatening just life altering) DO heal, but it is on their own as western medicine says there is no cure. But I am on the short track to losing my house because I am not able to work full time. I went back to school in February and became a massage therapist and am working on building my own business, but my health is greatly curbing my hours. I have 7 months of mortgage payments saved and then nothing. I won’t be homeless, as I can live with my parents, but. . . no. I am racking my brain as to what I could do around my illness or get super lucky and get a part time job with someone who understands what I can and can’t do. But losing my house, my great credit, my years of being independent and well able to care for myself and all my responsibilities? This is difficult to face.

    But if health and money were non-issues? I would live as close to the ocean as possible, in a warm climate, and have a building with living quarters on top floor, my painting studio on the second floor, and my massage studio on the first floor. I would also be writing my novel and volunteering in my close knit, artistic community. I would have endless energy and my eyes would sparkle, and I would be the person and have the place where everyone wanted to be!!!!

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Sending you so much love, Sonja. In your words I can tell that you’re a passionate woman who fights for a life she loves. You can do this. xoxo

    • Hi Sonja – sending you peace and clarity as you build your new life and face your fears. Reading your post brought back a lot of memories for me and I hope you don’t mind me sharing them with you.

      I have experienced something similar – I have been living with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue for over 10 years and there were times where it was utterly crippling. I actually became a certified Pilates instructor about 4 years ago to specifically work with people in pain because I felt like if I could help them then maybe it was possible for me to heal. And being in that world led me to people that did help! I learned that on days that I felt drained, I needed warm epsom salt baths and to curl up with a good book. I learned how to automate as much of my business as possible so I had less to do each day. I realized my limits when it came to how many people I could see in a day (only 5 private clients) so I rearranged my schedule and stacked everyone so it was all at once. It taught me how to build healthy boundaries for myself, to not freak out when people disappeared, and how to stay focused on building relationships with the good clients and pushing out the bad clients.

      Being a Pilates instructor put me on path of self healing without western medicine and I’ve actually become an online coach as well to expand my toolkit and help a larger scale of people in pain. It’s possible that the same healing could happen for you! Being in this world is amazing, there are so many different and natural ways you can heal your body and you’ll meet tons of people that will want to help.

      I also think it’s beautiful that you have become a massage therapist because you understand pain and this will be an amazing light and influence for your clients. There are so many of us that feel alone and are scared that it will never get better and it’s awesome that you are working to help others not feel this way.

      Practically speaking about improving health, I found that EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) really helped me manage my pain because it’s all about releasing emotional stress and promotes self-care, acceptance, and forgiveness of past hurts and current hurts/fears. Forgiving and tapping (EFT) is such an amazing resource to release that stress so that it doesn’t drag you down throughout your day.

      I hope you don’t mind my very long post – I just know how it feels to feel trapped and scared so whenever I meet anyone who feels the same I love connecting with them! You’ve totally got this and you’re not alone! – xo Rachael

      • Jillian - Team Forleo

        These are some beautiful suggestions Rachael; thank you for sharing and being such a light in our community!

      • Sonja

        thank you for your response – appreciated.

  57. Archana

    I would have enjoyed my life in more better way, if I am not having this fear…I always think too much before doing anything new..kind of serious / boring personality. ..kind of I am having starting problem in any new projects..

  58. Fear of being seen nailed it for me. I tend to hide myself from those I don’t trust or blast you for things you say and do. I’m not even sure why I had them in my world. For so long I was surrounded by people I shouldn’t have given my roses to. I finally realized that I must surround myself with those who are openminded, kind, caring and positive. Not having the fear of sharing my truth would allow me to build the business I dream of. Great episode, thank you for the brain boost. I feel like I grow every time I watch Marie TV. Happy Halloween!!!!

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      That revelation is HUGE Stephanie. We actually did an episode on how to surround yourself with more positive and open-minded people; you can find it right here:

      https://www.marieforleo.com/2013/01/friend-break-up/

      We hope that you continue to be discerning in who you give your roses to, and allow yourself to blossom open as you share more of yourself with the world!

  59. Nahoko Toyota

    I am in the process of healing myself from my 10 years of battling with bulimia. I quit my well-paid job in a big city, moved back to my parents’ house, traveled quite a bit and started to work casually at restaurants and on some occasional free-lance works. After 16 months, I am afraid that if I make a wrong decision now I may go back into the same old habit, although continuing how I live right now is not good for my financial situation or to my soul. I feel like I am wasting what I’ve learned, my talent and passion living this way. However, the fear of making a wrong decision keeps me away from deciding what’s next and taking a step forward.

    If I continue to live in Japan (where working in a corporation as a woman with personality is not easy), I want to work on my own as diversity advocate. My fear is to be ignored and ridiculed by the whole world, criticized for my lack of credibility or expertise and end up feeling miserable without making any money. If I move to another country where I can feel more liberated, I will need to find a corporation who can sponsor my visa. My fear is (A) not finding any job or company, (B) getting a job that sucks and becoming stuck with it, (C) falling into bulimia again for the loneliness or any other stress.

    My brain is about to explode with so many stories of fear after experiencing the mental darkness. I struggle to see what “taking care of myself” means at this stage of my life.

    • Ana Estrades

      A hopeful message to you, Nahoko Toyota! I know about your struggle. But I can tell from what you say that you have already overcome the most difficult phase of all: to acknowledge your struggle to yourself and others, quitting what you had in the big city to figure out the next step in your recovery. That is such a brave act and the fears you are feeling now are totally normal. My message to you is don’t be too anxious to be back to “normal,” it is a gradual journey. Trust yourself and what you know is best for you: most important right now is what you say, that you learn to take care of yourself! Don’t obsessed about your relationship with food, focus on loving yourself and eating well as part of it.

  60. The fear that’s holding me back are a few:
    Not feeling good enough
    Not knowing exactly “how” to do what I want to do
    Feeling afraid of being seen

    If those fears did not exist, I would simply share more of the music I’m working on, my thoughts and ideas around personal growth and development, and my personal experiences more openly and fully.

    Wooo, here I am and Happy Halloween! Thanks for a GREAT episode Marie! I love you all sooo much,

    Sarah

  61. Kristen

    My fear is “If I do “X”, what if I end up not having enough money to support my life and put myself in an unstable financial position”. I’ve been dancing with this fear pretty much all my life and it rears its head whenever a big decision is to be made. Sometimes I choose to take the calculated risk and sometimes I don’t, but it has held me back at times for sure.

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      Kristen, you’re SO not alone in having some fears associated with money. In fact, so many of us do, and much of it is rooted in our relationship with money and feelings of lack. We have a whole playlist of episodes on shifting your money mindset and allowing yourself to believe in your worth. Make a soothing cup of tea, and tuck in for a few of these:

      https://www.marieforleo.com/category/grow-your-wealth/

  62. My fears are all around being seen, being heard, being rejected. The other side of these fears, if I am seen, heard, accepted I might be successful. Then what? My Shiatsu and healing arts practice is full. My ‘energyscapes’ art classes are filled. I am asked to present at events and be part of a larger community. My dreams come true and new dreams are created. We all have stories of why these fears are part of us. I have spent my life pushing the bolder up the hill. Getting really tired and sometimes squashed by it. Today I learned a new mantra from Deepak Chopra, ‘The present moment is filled with new possibilities.’ This allows me to be in the present moment while taking one step at a time on my journey. Using the natural flow of expansion and contraction to move forward, to move aside or take a rest and be in the moment.

  63. Sandy

    My biggest fear was of being alone, but not the alone time one spends with oneself, but of genuinely being ALONE in the World. After losing my immediate family members in such a short amount of time, the impact of being truly alone hit me hard, and I didn’t know who or where to turn to for help. Many of my friends deserted me in my time of need, good old friends. I was stunned and in shock to say the least. I couldn’t understand what was happening in my life anymore. How was I going to overcome this fear I had of being alone? Who would help me?
    The path to facing my fears and finding my own happiness was the most significant gift and life lesson I could give to myself. Once I began to learn more self-awareness, I was better able to know my exact value. I started to take on challenging tasks that I never thought I could accomplish. Once I was present, (at the moment) I was able to give myself more self-love, and the same will be true for you or anyone who is reading this message. It’s within this deep inner connection we find that there is no longer anything to fear, even being alone. Also, B-School provided me hope to create my own business. Thank you again for your flagship program.
    Thank you for a BOOTIFUL and SPOOKTACULAR Halloween chronicles.

  64. Q

    New to my current job, running the portfolio alone, with absolutely no background in what I do and faced with a really steep learning curve.

    Things changed at the 3-month mark, and I am constantly told to step up my game, no more hand-holding, that I need to get things done NOW.

    The pay isn’t fantastic and the hours are pretty long. I am learning so much, most colleagues are great, but the dread I feel about work is causing me to lose sleep.

    My low-level fear, I suppose, is that I am not trying hard enough and that I am a whiner for considering quitting.
    The bigger problem at hand is I don’t know what I am good at at all.

  65. Daniel Pereira

    What is fear ?
    Fear is the unknown that we think it will be a negative point, headache, rejection, ignored and the worst death.
    Now let us look at the reality, if you don’t know what is!!!! Why should we create an idea that it can be totally catastrophe, you might be surprise that the opposite will surface that is going to make you happy and elated with pleasure.
    If you want to eliminate fear, close your eyes and your scepticism ideas that you have been taught from birth, and go for it, do it, explore, love, talk, jump, create, make a point, never allow yourself to have that feeling of regret that you didn’t do it, or whatever you deep down inside desire so much wanted realize did not happen.
    Remember is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Never make assumptions on something that you don’t know, just deal as it comes or happen in your best interests.

  66. Lovie

    Oh Marie! That damn “F” word – haunts me (no pun intended as it is Halloween)… The fear of failure, as in reaching out to whoever or wherever to get books, cards, writings, in print. I have great ideas for those little gift books (those tiny little cute ones you can fit in your back pocket whenever you need to laugh, smile or throw at someone’s head) and I just don’t know how to find people to help me illustrate in them and get them out to the universe.

    • This is such a great idea – I love those kinds of books! And I especially love giving them as presents! I’m not in publishing or illustrating but google hasn’t let me down yet. What about a facebook group or meetup group for artists and illustrators? You could join and make friends with people you like and scope out their work at the same time. If anything, it could be fun!

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      Lovie, Rachael has some good suggestions below, and if you haven’t discovered them already, Upwork and Behance are great websites to find talented freelance artists. Tackle one small task at a time, and before you know it, those little gift books will be flying off the shelves!

    • Jennifer

      Lovie,
      Read the comments from the top down. There is a woman named Barbara who is an artist and posted a comment. Maybe she could illustrate your books. And if she isn’t right for the job, she might know someone who is.

  67. Stephen

    Lately with a lot of introspective analysis and looking back at decisions I have made, I realized I have shied away from leadership roles, even when there has been team consensus that I should take on the role. I think my fear from a childhood where moving from neighbourhood to neighbourhood, school to school was a constant. A work life that has mirrored that constant shifting from company to company, role to role. I think the fear I have ingrained is that I will be moving, shifting, leaving and that I need a lower level of commitment. Sure good team player, care and want everyone to do well, have their back, work hard, play hard. I understand the scales of empathy and expectation. And perhaps the person I am most in fear of leading is me?

  68. My fear is trying my best and failing because it turns out I’m not good enough or I didn’t do enough of the right things. I have a fear of being in debt and having to borrow money to keep my business running. It’s an overall fear of failure and running out of time, resources, and money.

    If I didn’t have that fear, I wouldn’t worry about investing in my business because I would believe that it would all work out. I would truly believe that it’s not “if it’s successful” it’s actually “when it’s successful.”

  69. Pam F

    I am afraid of not knowing all the details before moving forward with a decision. Occasionally I have taken a leap of faith, and those have always been my BEST experiences, but generally I let my fear stop me.

  70. Ana Estrades

    Happy Halloween everyone! Not a penguin here, hehehe, Marie! Nice episode as always you know how to make a party of the negative in this world!
    As shared in comments above, even if with different words: I am fearful of letting my voice be heard, whether in person, phone or online. I have actually been listening to your MarieTV from the early days of the brick wall (yep, 2011, right?) and in 6 years, I have written only 3 times here.
    Like Achana says, I am sometimes more in my head, thinking, than doing. I have learned with time that they are not a duality: I can be both a thinker and a doer. Indeed, I am very much a doer too, when I overcome fear, I conquer a lot! It is all about balance, I guess, not thinking too much that I end up overwhelmed, and stop acting out of fear.
    I have been planning and working on my own blog for a couple of months now, and I have not launched it YET. Again, the fear of being heard. Behind that there are a number of fears, such as being criticized by other people, or worse, the fear of not reaching out to enough people or being ignored. I have rewatched the episode in which you say to just press the button, because it is never going to be perfect. It is so true, but pressing the button is what I will do if I felt no fear! And yet the fear is there. And then I remember one of the very early interviews you did with Steven Pressfield about his book on resistance (you were both in your laptop screens, imagine! and it was so good, anyways!) As I write my answer to your Q, I am inspired to see this resistance and fear as one emotion that is there to tell me how important it is that I follow through. Perhaps some fears should be heard, but other fears are there just to help us realize how special what we do is. It might be a good moment to finally read Pressfield’s book on the The War of Art and then push the button… oh yes, and next time I write my comment, you will actually have a website to go to!

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      Ana, we hear you! From what you wrote, you know exactly what your next move is.

      Hop on over to your website, login, and press ‘publish’.

      Seth Godin, in one of our interviews, advocates blogging every day, no matter what it is, or whether or not it’s ‘any good’. The practice of putting your work out there consistently makes the click of that button feel less weighted and less daunting every time you do it. All you need to do to start, is start.

      We’re cheering you on; you got this!

  71. My fear is knowing that I am an amazing senior PR leader who would move mountains at a global tech company. I’ve been in the PR agency business, I have a proven track record and would love to be on the client side. What’s holding me back is my location. I would attempt to change my location to land an executive package to be in San Francisco or a major city with a tech leader.
    Marie, you are an inspiration and I appreciate your laser sharp focus.

  72. Willemijn

    I have been ill for some time now and in the process of recovery AND starting a business from scratch after losing my job through my illness. There’s a lot of sadness and grief but I’m also very much willing to start over and create the life I love.
    I think my biggest fear is not being healthy or strong or energized enough to deliver. That I can’t live up to expectations or that I have to disappoint people. And in the end, that they don’t value what I offer.
    I would start things earlier when that fear was gone. I’m not sure it’s irrealistic though after what happened with my health.

  73. I have a deep fear of being seen. If I were to release this fear so much would change for me. I think my relationships would improve drastically, I’d have more fun, and my artistic projects would see the light of day. I am learning to step into the light more, but it is baby baby steps. Thank you always for your beautiful insights and encouragement! Even though we’ve never met, I feel like you are always rooting for my (and everyone’s success) and that means a lot :).

  74. I am a woman of action in all of my life except marketing. I agree, everything is figure-outable. I’m grateful to have had a successful B2B design career behind me that was based solely on referrals—never marketing once—and I was always as busy as I wanted to be. Now, as an artist in the next phase of my life, I’m embarrassed to say I’ve spent years trying to find what is apparently a needle in the consumer audience haystack for my art. The Trial & Error Period of my journey seems way more relentless than it should be and my resilience feels maxed out. Consumer marketing methods that use urgency, scarcity and daily contact to grab and hold attention aren’t the energy I enjoy receiving or sharing, so I keep putting one foot in front of the other hoping it’s possible to succeed after a longer time with more understatement than its opposite. I’m definitely doing what I would do if I had no fear: advocating for horses, nature and the mindfulness they offer through art and a children’s book.

    Just in writing this, I can see that my fear of never being as successful as I was in my design career carries a judgment and an expectation that I could do myself the favor of losing! Thank you for the urging to think this through.

  75. Josh L

    I am afraid to go back into debt if I go back to school to pursue my masters degree or doctorate in chiropractic. There is also a small part of me that is afraid that I may fail a attaining one of these things too. I have been craving to get out of my current career and break into something better. My instinct tells me, “I’ve got to do this!” However, it’s just the fear (from what I have described above) that stops me and getting out of my comfort zone.

    If fear was not an issue, I would GO for one of these things and breakthrough this wall of fear.

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      We absolutely hear you Josh. That fear of the unknown can be big, and at the end of the day, for you, it’s really your confidence in your own abilities here that gets to be sharpened. Making a financial investment in your future can seem scary, and it can also be the biggest incentive to follow through on your dreams.

      Marie always advocates for putting decisions like this through the 10 year test: if you decide not to go back to school and change your career, in 10 years will you be happy with that decision? And if you say no, and you want to go for it, taking it one step at a time is much more manageable than looking at a huge uphill battle in front you.

      • Josh L

        Jillian-
        Wow! That’s a good way of putting it into perspective! The answer to your question is no; I wouldn’t be happy with my decision in 10 years by not acting on my desires and pursuing my goals. That’s true; one step at a time is definitely more manageable than looking at a huge uphill battle. There would definitely be more pros than cons by pursing my goals and not worrying about debt and/or failure. I just need to be more confident and GO for it!
        Thank you.

  76. My biggest fear is worrying about whether or not my clients will stick with me as I expand my business. I also worry that expansion is too much for me to handle, financially and physically/mentally. I own a small dance studio and we have out grown our space. We need to move to a larger location, which means higher rent and raising our prices. I know that I can’t stay in my small space another year and still be able to serve all our clientele in the best way possible. But moving is very scary. I find myself afraid to make the calls to even start looking at other spaces. I know it needs to be done, but I can’t seem to find the strength to get started.

  77. Monica

    I have two fears.

    1. I won’t be able to get anyone in the door.

    2. That I will not make enough money to support myself and my family.

    If these two fears were non-issues, I would have a spiritual retreat/healing center for people to find healing and peace on a very personalized level. A person could tailor their time to what they were drawn to needing and could scheduled time from 1 hour to one week. There would be sleeping areas to rent or maybe cabins and meals would be included as well. I would also offer weekend workshops.

    • Jennifer

      I love that idea. I’m sure a zillion people will be drawn to it. Do it!!!

  78. My fear is putting myself out there on video, and social media and having others judge me or my content for not being an “expert” in my field. My perfectionist personality keeps me from moving forward unless something is perfect! This is really causing me to be at a crossroads in the continued development of my own business goals.

  79. Beth

    I am an artist for a living and I fear not making enough money, so I try to do all possible gigs and sales avenues to make money with my art. So, I am selling in many different markets and it is stretching me too thin. I am realizing I can’t sell in 5 different markets and also grow by business (and make more money) in 5 different markets! I need to find a focused market and trust it will work out.

  80. I am very much hamstrung by the fear to remind the people whose help I need in business about my project. Creative industry is a cut-throat arena, and when you´re trying to promote your finished product residing in a different, much poorer country than the U.S. and your entire interaction with potential producers/sponsors is via Internet, the fear of being not enough is always here. It is even bigger when you have been interacting with those people on social media for quite a while to believe that they share a vision and values with you — because not everyone who is successful in this industry actually cares about socially relevant projects that make a difference in the first place and aren’t a fast buck in short term, despite holding a potential to resonate with wide audiences in the long haul. So when I find those people and take time to get to know them somewhat (as far as it’s possible without meeting them in person) and then reach out to them about my project, which in itself feels like a very vulnerable act, and they don’t reply within a week, I feel so scared to remind them about my request. I know that they are busy with their own lives and jobs; I know that reading my emails requires time investment from them, and I know from my own experience that sometimes amidst a busy schedule it’s easy to forget about a correspondence thread even when you’re interested in the idea in the beginning. But I am afraid to sound inconsiderate and rude towards people who owe me nothing but who can effectively help me bring about the future that I spent years of unwavering effort building. I am afraid of getting a personal insult about my identity, or my class, or my financial status, or my not-too-smoking-hot Instagram gallery, instead of a criticism of my work (these kinds of insults happened a lot during my first year in the arena). As a clinical depression survivor, whose psychogenic disease was 90% fueled by shame that amassed over adolescent traumas and three years ago got terminal, multi-drug-resistant and almost fatal, I am afraid to get a new shaming trauma from people who I’ve come to trust and whose opinions I’ve come to respect. And this fear of pushing them to give me some feedback — any feedback — keeps me stuck. Because I’m not getting refusals that I need to move on to someone else. The nature of my project doesn’t allow me to submit it to multiple people at the same time — if many people agree to help me launch it into production, it will just not work. So I am struggling with this fear. I am struggling to strike a balance between being respectful and generous about other people’s time management and being healthily assertive about communicating my own time-related pressures to them.
    Thank you for reading this! Much love

  81. Tanya Smith

    I am afraid that trauma from my past will make me unable to cope with the pressure of success. I am afraid of not being good enough once I get to grad school around all of these people that have a more traditional background, better education etc. I guess I’m also afraid of my own power because of the negative reactions I have gotten in the past when I embrace it.

    • Tanya Smith

      I forgot the most important part of the question, what would happen if this fear didn’t exists… I would apply & get in to the grad school of my dreams. I would make connections that would alter my life forever. I would be confident instead of faking it until I make it. I would get my PHD and do TED talks on overcoming trauma. I would be the kind of role model that I always wanted to be & my story would help other women know they can overcome anything!

  82. Rosaria Lecci

    I would quit my current job, start my own business in coaching and mentoring, and my walk home satisfied and happy, cause I would do something I m passionate at and my potential would blossom. Thank you Marie for your most valuable inspiration Xox Rosaria

  83. Fatma Temiz

    Hi Maria,
    I can not define my fear but it’s in my heart and brain. May be not knowing how to start or decide exact topic and about success If it was not, I would like to start blogging on coaching and motivation issues in my language in addition to my current job.

    You inspire me and help me to improve my English
    Thank you:)

  84. Claire

    Fear that I won’t be able to cope emotionally with challenging situations in a management job, as well as the fear of not being good enough. If I didn’t have this fear, I would have gone for a management job…got me thinking…!

  85. Fenne

    Hey Marie,
    My fear has always been that my spiritual nature would not be enough to make it in the selfhelp industry. Because the clarity that is in me, is far to be found in my digital skills.
    I am clumsy, slow and I don’t seem to understand much of the whole social media stuff.
    Yet I’m young, ambitious and ready to give it all, because I feel that spiritutal enlightenment should be out there.
    So I started to film, to write and a website is on the go and you know what?
    I get likes. Not much yet. But taking in account that I have no name, plenty of beginnersproblems (light, light is important!) and hardly no curriculum, I see this as a good start.
    Now, I’m afraid, because I know that it could be so much better if only I….
    Also, I’m excited because I started, I just started!
    And finally I can become better.

    Thanks to you I understand the power of taking action Marie.
    Warmly, Fenne

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      Fenne! You got started! That’s half the battle right there, and from here you get to learn, grow, tackle new obstacles, take on new skills, and see what blossoms. We’re so excited for you, and thrilled that you took that big step forward. Keep going!

      • Fenne

        Thank you so much!

  86. Heather

    My biggest fear is being able to support my family. I’m currently the head of household with a very good corporate job that has great growth opportunity and benefits. However, it greatly restricts my time with my two sons (5 and 2 years old).

    If the fear were gone, I’d be free to stay home with my boys and potentially drive my own business. I’d be totally willing to take steps in that direction if I had any idea what I wanted that business to be!

  87. Tijana

    Hi everyone! This is my first time leaving a comment on this wonderful blog. One of my greatest fears may sound not so serious, but trust me, it is holding me back big time. I’m afraid that if I really start chasing my dream (of building a big educational business, both online and off), I would get sooo absorbed in work that I would not have a life anymore. Although I LOVE teaching and helping people grow through education, and I also think I am quite good at it, chasing absolute excellence is something I am afraid of, for the reason I just mentioned. Thank you so much Marie for making me express this fear in actual words, instead of just feeling it. I believe this will help me overcome it! xoxoxoxo

    • I’ve had this one! Sending you lots of love and light, Caroline

      • Tijana

        Thank you so much, Caroline! Big hug and all the best to you 🙂
        Tijana

  88. My fear is ‘being too much’. Worrying that my design ideas are too weird, I sometimes wonder if I would be more successful if I followed other peoples design trends. The result is that I sometimes I tone my work down.
    Without this fear? Wow! I wouldn’t feel embarrassed promoting my work. My work would be that much more richer in content and detail.
    I am Alice finding my muchness.
    Thank you always! And, Happy Halloween to y’all.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I’m so glad you brought this up! I think about how the world of fashion and design would look different if revolutionaries like Lisa Frank and Betsy Johnson had felt that way. Not everyone loves their weirdness, but the right people do, and they’re catering to an under-served market who doesn’t often feel seen by the mainstream fashion industry. As Marie says, “the world needs that special gift that only YOU have.” And you just might find a lot of other people love your unique designs too. 🙂

  89. My biggest fear is creating all the things I want to do and not having enough time to get it done, and selling one of my businesses I have ran for 23 years so that I can follow my true passion in life which is health coaching

  90. Fear that I have nothing of real value to share or I don’t know enough – no one will listen.

    Id be a motivational speaker and host talks and webinars if I didnt have this fear.

  91. Dear Marie,
    How can we deal with the constant fear, anger and heart-ache that come from all the disasters and violence around us? Mass shootings, natural disasters, nazi marches, drivers who kill people on purpose.
    It brings so much grayness into my life. I’m constanly afraid for my loved ones, for myself and people around me. I find myself paralized by all of this.
    How to find a courage to continue to work and also be strong?

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I’m so sorry, Bogdana. It’s clear you have a big heart and just want things to get better so people can feel safe. These are scary times, but we have to keep going. Marie has some tips to build the courage to carry on when you’re living in fear: https://www.marieforleo.com/2017/04/courage-to-keep-going/

  92. So check this out!
    I’ve never been aware of being fearful of anything – no boundaries, I would go anywhere, approach anyone (even called the White House when I had a question for the Pres), do anything! I was also super relatable to all people – could effortlessly connect.
    Have you ever been super passionate about something – like it has a hold on you?
    Me too! My passion – I have a few that intertwine but the 2 main ones are helping people move beyond the experiences of their stories and creating connection through conversation
    Tell me if you see the irony in the what I’m about to say. On a gorgeous sunny day this June, the oh so familiar alarm went off at 5:25am. What wasn’t familiar was the feeling I had that I could no longer do the job I had for 15 years. There was an urgency to ending this era and starting a new one.
    I resigned – started working on my passion – writing courses, taking courses, networking like crazy. I worked mostly behind a computer 16 hrs a day, 7 days a week. Synchronicities started happening. I thought “cool, this Law of Attraction stuff works” . Don’t get me wrong, I fell down a lot. I also got up a lot (smarter each time).
    Ya know what though, I started feeling really disconnected from others – the isolation felt like it was literally killing me. TeD talks had become my new best friend.
    When I did talk to people I had so much to say I confused the hell out of everyone – it was too much (possibly like this)!
    A couple weeks back something in me kinda snapped. Everything is just too much, too many choices, too many possibilities, even too many choices when grocery shopping! How many types of tea bags do we really need?
    For the first time in 55 yrs I actually think I’m paralyzed with fear. I’m procrastinating (have never done that before), I dare not look at the FB groups I’m in related to courses I’ve done, a Google search with its 10,000 pp causes me to hyperventilate.
    Marie, help – WT* happened !!! Better yet, what do I do?
    Am I fearing success? Just burnout? I have so much to offer – but not if it stays in my head.
    Does anyone see the irony here? My passion is to help people get unstuck and to connect. Is it just me or does it look like I separated myself from what I value most.
    Does anyone have any suggestions?
    Marie, help – WT* happened !!! Better yet, what do I do now??

    • CONGRATULATIONS on this amazing transformation you’re in the middle of! I think you should take heart, often the biggest breakthroughs happen right after a huge block. The passion and the speed at which you’ve been traveling might have blocked you up. Go easy on yourself, apply patience rather than pressure and this block may start to lift. But throughout the process, it sounds like this challenge is the best possible thing for your business. If your passion is to connect and get people unstuck, then every step you take through this challenge is going to draw your closer to your client who is struggling with those exact things. The true significance of your business might be teaching itself to you through this exact block. It sounds like you’re about to connect to your purpose at a whole new level. Find the right book, talk to the right person, and this will go away. I hope some of this pressure lifts and I would be so excited to hear where things go from here. 🙂

    • Andrea

      Leslie, you have much more life experience than I do, so I will not pretend to know better than you what you should do. What I do when I feel overwhelmed by everything I’ve put on my plate (and especially when the internet is involved), I just stop and take a break, take a step outside of the whirlwind of information that is the internet. I stop ‘cold turkey’, as they say. I go to the country side or visit my family, go outside the city, call my friends (who tell me they can’t see me, but we still have hour long conversations on the phone), depending on the situation. Then I start writing down what’s been happening and what I feel and writing it helps organize it. I see what I’ve been wasting time on and what I actually enjoy doing.

      You say you love helping others live their lives better by connection and communication. What would you recommend someone who came to you with the same problem? Talk to a friend or a trusted family member? Why not do it yourself?

      I hope you get unstuck soon and get back to bringing awesomeness to the world.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much for letting us know what you’re going through, Leslie. It definitely sounds like you’re on the cusp of something big and Emily is right that sometimes the biggest breakthroughs are on the heels of a major roadblock.

      A couple of MarieTV episodes immediately came to mind as I read your message, so I wanted to share those in hopes it’s helpful:
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/12/decision-detox/
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/04/self-sabotage/
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2012/10/stop-self-sabotage/

  93. Spencer Logan

    So my big dream is to quit my 9-5 desk job, move to Germany, live in the countryside, and be a personal development blogger and life coach. The fear that is holding me back is uncertainty. I don’t know how that kind of life is possible, and each time I think about leaving the country my mind jumps to “you don’t speak the language, won’t get a job, and will end up being too broke to buy a plane ticket home.” If I didn’t have the fear of uncertainty (and student debt) I would buy a plane ticket yesterday.
    At your suggestion I read; Turning Pro, Do the Work, and have started tearing through The 4-Hour Work Week. I’m putting in the right action, but still a part of me is feeling scared. But it’s more of a good fear. I’ve heard it said “if your dream doesn’t scare you a little bit, it’s not big enough”
    Would love anyone’s thoughts!
    An adoring fan boy
    Xoxo

  94. Hey Marie and Team,
    Great stuff. I’ve been following you for awhile and always look forward to your zany delivery and spot-on ideas. I have everything I need to succeed in a big way; talent, experience, vision, a team, a message and a process. People in the know tell me I will create an empire once I get rolling. All prelude to say that while I have some of the common fears of failing (pesky to be sure), my bigger fear is wondering if I have a right to be huge and how will that change my life? Will it still be mine?

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Those are really good questions, Jason. We believe you have every right to be as successful as you want to be achieving your dreams. While this episode is specifically about writing, it does answer that big “who am I to do this?” question: https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/05/writing/

      I know that doesn’t fully answer your question, particularly the latter part about whether your life is still your own when you’re successful, so if you want to write to us at infoATmarieforleoDOTcom we’ll be happy to help you submit this for consideration for a future Q&A Tuesday episode.

  95. Now I am having a problem in my relationship and I am trying to find a reason for that. I realise one thing that I really scare the bad truth will happen. The thing I never thought before is how my life change if it is not my scary anymore. Thank you because you give me enough brave to face it!

  96. I fear that my words, art, writing etc. will be misunderstood or not heard whatsoever. I fear all my ideas will flop and that I will never make money doing what I love without completely draining me in the process. That I will never be a true part of a community and that I do not have anything to give.
    I know that part of the reason I fear all these things is because I have lost so much for most of my life: my house, school, family and my two children (lost them to their fathers, I don’t have parental rights for either of them.) I have never learned how to set down permanent roots with anyone. Even though I graduated from high school nearly twenty years ago, I still strongly remember all the torment I experienced back then.

    It’s hard to live in the present when I feel so condemned by my past, of all the wrong decisions I made.

    I know I am capable of so much more, but I’m stuck in the past that my original family will never take me back. I don’t want them to now, but that need to connect and belong still have sharp deadly teeth.

  97. Melissa

    My fear is investing money in say equipment and going broke trying to focus on what I really love. It simply isn’t practical. But the rest of me suffers when I don’t just DO IT.
    Also…I have a habit of coming up with all these great ideas and will even implement and then all of a sudden I have years worth of “loose ends”…seems wasteful and makes me feel so terrible that I’m wasting perfectly good ideas.

    • Melissa, keep your ideas somewhere visible, don’t let go of them, even if you don’t get to implement them. You’ll find that some of them will be implemented by others in time. Regarding investments and going broke, start small and build from there. Only invest the money you can afford to lose, buy one piece of equipment at a time, like I did when I started. In time I bought higher quality tools for my own venture by reinvesting everything I managed to gain from my work. But first, build a business plan, study your target market, study the competition, find out what mistakes they make and find solutions to them, make a medium to long-term budget. That way you will not waste money and even if your venture will not be the success you imagine now, it will still be an extremely important lesson for the long term and a jumping point for anything you will decide to do in the future. You’ll have your business plan and budget templates and you’ll have a whole lot of experience.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      What Andrea shared is spot on. There’s no shame in starting small and working your way up as you’re able to. The first episodes of MarieTV were shot on the built-in camera on Marie’s laptop––no fancy graphics, no nice clothes, no production. Just Marie in her living room on her couch. What you see now is years in the making. It can happen and we believe in you. 🙂

  98. Mariana

    My greatest fear is not being loved and accepted as I am. If I did not have this fear I would allow myself and my work to be seen. I would leave my job and start my own business.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      You’re wonderful just as you are, Mariana! As Marie says, “the world needs that special gift that only YOU have.” Everyone may not resonate with what you do, but that’s true for everybody and every business. It’s about connecting with the right people and finding the folks who love your work.

      There’s a MarieTV episode about the fear of judgment and rejection––I hope it helps! https://www.marieforleo.com/2011/11/fear-of-being-judged/

  99. Hi Marie, thanks for posting this video. It’s well-timed in my life right now.
    I have a fear of “just going for it,” which is made up of over-thinking the process to apply
    or network, under-valuing my skills, not knowing exactly how to move forward, and struggling to tell my story. I don’t know exactly how to head in the right direction, but I feel like time is slipping away from me. I’m a young professional and am constantly doubting myself, which is taking a toll on my ego and creativity. Help!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That sounds really stressful, Darragh, and I can see how doubting yourself is hurting your creativity. Please know you’re not alone––a lot of high achieving folks feel like they’re not doing enough or that their careers aren’t progressing quickly enough. I think you’ll appreciate this episode on what to do when you’re feeling behind in life––it’s got some helpful, actionable tips: https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/10/feeling-behind-in-life/

  100. Fear to be myself no matter the family and friends approve or not 🙂 hhaaaa

  101. Fear to be myself no matter the family and friends approve or not 🙂.
    And fear to set up my boundaries, because changes are tough and I’m afraid to me criticized and put down, because obviously being myself is not following the mass.
    How can I possibly be myself meanwhile conforming to everyone ideas of how I should be and what I should do.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s such a good question, Claudine! And something it sounds like a lot of people are struggling with, so please know you’re not alone in the pressure you’re feeling. Fear of criticism can be tough to shake, but I hope you’ll find these tips from Marie helpful: https://www.marieforleo.com/2016/05/fear-of-criticism/

  102. Sabrina

    I graduated cosmetology school 3 months ago and I eat and breathe hair. I did really well in school and had multiple job offers before I even graduated. Now that I graduated I am absolutely full of fear and my hands shake every time I give someone a haircut. I don’t know what to do and I feel lost and now I’m thinking maybe I did the wrong thing by choosing a career in the beauty industry. I’m not as good as I thought I was in school. I am currently at a salon that is great and my co-workers are amazing and helpful but there are not any walk-ins and I don’t have a way to build clientele. I feel like a failure and I also fear letting my husband and kids down, and everyone else that was rooting for me. This was a major career change for me and it took a lot of sacrifice for me to complete school (10 months to be exact) and I don’t want to let them down and I don’t want to quit because I do love it. However between my anxiety and not having clientele or making money I’m thinking that this was really not a good move. Any advice on letting go of my fears and how to maybe market myself better? I don’t know, I feel desperate and like a true failure! 🙁

    • Jennifer

      I have an idea. Ask your manager if he/she would be willing to let people pay a discounted fee the first time you cut their hair. They could try out the new stylist for a discount. Please note that I don’t think your services are less valuable than everyone else’s. I’m sure you are awesome at what you do. But, it could be a great way to get some people in your chair. Maybe your manager could even put a sign in the window (and on the website) that advertises there is a brand new stylist and stating the special (short term) discounted rate. Once you provide your service and people love how you make them look, they will come back and they will tell their friends about you.

    • Andrea

      Congratulations for graduating! You did an awesome step towards a happier life, even if it seems scary now. Anything has a learning curve and every new project has a slow growth in the beginning. From the way you phrased it, it seems like you have to bring in your own clients. As Jennifer mentioned, you need some marketing tactics. You can do both offline (discount, fliers, going to events) and online (setting up a website or social media profile with examples of your work). This way your existing clients can recommend you to their friends. I don’t know much about salons, but I think that getting several loyal customers is the way to go. If you make them happy by listening to what they want and making it happen, they will come back to you and refer their friends who need a (new) stylist. You could also give them vouchers for friends, participate in events as a sponsor, also with vouchers; mostly getting yourself out there and showing that you exist in the community. The anxiety you feel now will go away once you get so absorbed in the process that you don’t have time to think about it any more. I wish you all the best!

  103. Sandra

    My biggest fears are that I don’t feel like I’m qualified enough (even though I have a bachelor degree in nutrition, and there are plenty of others out there with no/less qualifications that give nutrition advice). I also worry way too much about what others will think of whatever I put out there in the world. If I had no fear, then I would just go for it and go big with my business, and not care what others think.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I’m so glad you brought this up, Sandra. Sometimes it’s hard to know when people truly aren’t qualified (especially when there are regulations and legal certifications involved) or when they just feel like they’re not qualified because they have imposter syndrome. If it’s the latter, this MarieTV episode can help: https://www.marieforleo.com/2012/10/stop-self-sabotage/

      I know that doesn’t fully answer your question, so if you want to write to us at infoATmarieforleoDOTcom, we can help you submit this question for consideration for a future Q&A Tuesday episode.

      • Sandra

        Thanks Mandy – I think perhaps I do have a bit of imposter syndrome, so will definitely check out the episode!

  104. Ruby

    My biggest fear is that I will spend hours, months and even a year of my life trying to create something only to discover that nobody wants what I have. That they may be laughing and saying, “What the hell makes her think she had anything of value to offer?”

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      You do have talent, wisdom, and value to offer, Ruby, though we totally understand that you may have days where you don’t feel like it. Everyone may not love what you do, but the right people will, so it’s a matter of finding them and serving that audience. I hope this video will encourage you to share your wisdom with those who need it most: https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/07/promote-proudly/

  105. Awesome video! I fear choosing the wrong path, when I have multiple passion projects that I would love to do, but I know I can’t do all. Fear of investing too much time and then realize that was not the right thing to choose.

  106. I do have a fear of failure . I am also overwhelmed by where to start my business . I also don’t always stick up for myself

  107. My gut, knee-jerk answers:
    #1: Be famous.
    #2: Shoot for the f*#%!ing stars.
    #3: The attachment to creative work. Fear is easy to remove if there’s no attachment (expectation) to it.
    #4: I would create & produce anything that inspires me in the given moment or day! Song, writing shortstory/essay, inspirational message, storytelling!

  108. Lorna Wood

    I’d actively follow my passion to help bring awareness to wildlife and the effects of the destruction of earth through my art. That’s what I’ve dreamed of doing since I can remember. I dont have to be recognized for my work as long as it brings awareness, for instance; the decline of the Orca Whale due to the ever growing highway through the oceans of British Columbia. My proceeds would go towards the conservation of these efforts. I don’t care about keeping the money that would be raised. I care about using my service to give back.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      What a beautiful way to give back, Lorna! It sounds like you’ve been given a beautiful vision and we’d love to see you make it happen.

  109. Thank you everyone for sharing and for the great video resources-I’ve already looked at one.
    Todays show is perfect and funny because yesterday I was in the ocean and thought how fear is like a shark-when it charges you you charge it back and it goes away -it (fear) is this potentially scary thing that comes out of the blue and usually at inconvenient times! I’ve had many oceanic adventure and last week was charged by a 8 foot shark, which is VERY VERY RARE (having been on the ocean thousands of times), my body was a shield to protect others which was pure instinct just before charging back. In that moment I was large, without hesitation and if you’d been in the water you would’ve not even thought about not listening when in those few seconds I told you what to do. It was fierce oceanic love, the night before my friend and I were doing an exercise where he had me say to him, “I’m sorry I can not afford to give away my work at this time.” IWe did it a few times and at the end he said it was better yet he wasn’t entirelty covinced I meant it. After the incident I saw him and told him how he would’ve had no doubt if he heard me then. Yesterday in the ocean I was musing it’s the same with fear-when you face it it loses power and you gain it-even if I’m shaky I can make one move step forward. I’ve had so many wild adventures that when I share – people are inspired and I want to write them down because if I can do it someone else can, even start with a weekly blog, I start to do it and then let go, sometimes because I’m in another adventure, and this episode makes me realize I need to commit, sit down and do it and not let myself feel overwhelmed with the scope of….where to begin…and just begin with this latest adventure…write something once a week to start…and sea where it goes…And commit to a stable life on earth so I can keep having adventures and sharing them with people.
    I love this space and everyone sharing and so much gratitude for every new thought, step and dream everyone is embodying and sharing-thank you.

  110. I’ve always considered myself pretty fearless with regards to most things (expressing myself in front of others, public ridicule, entering contests and the like) since I’m able to control my own reactions to what people say (even behind my back). But there has always been one odd thing that I feared and nobody else around me did. I’m afraid of speed, in the literal sense. Speeding cars, trucks and trains passing by, being in a car that’s driven too fast. It’s probably an instinct, but it has still impacted my life. I pushed myself and managed to get my driver’s licence and now I’m too afraid of traffic to actually drive. I don’t know what I would do if I weren’t afraid of speed. It’s not that big of a problem for me yet. I’ve always found ways around it (using public transport, riding a bike, walking – a lot of walking).

    Recently, though, a new kind of fear has arisen in my mind. I’m afraid of losing my loved ones. I don’t fear my own death, only the death of my family and friends. I know this fear stems from my depression, which I’ve been working on, and it’s subsiding. I work on it consciously, every day, by reminding me that every moment I spend with them is precious and every moment I spend thinking about loss is a precious moment lost forever. So I return to the here and now and tell them how much they mean to me. If I didn’t have this fear, I know I’d be much more peaceful and I’d dedicate more time to the creative endeavors that I love. I’d also probably spend more time with them, being aware of them and their lives.

    Thank you, Marie, for this exercise. I feel like writing these personal things don’t necessarily belong here, but in my journal. Still, you asked. I hope my answers help someone, if not just myself.

  111. Victoria

    Great video! Fear of losing friends. I treasure friendship more than anythings else. But I have fear to losing them one day. I scare I’m demanding too much, so I keep a distance. But every time I feel I’m demanding too much, I start to keep distance, at the end I will losing them. This pattern keep on repeating and I started to worry and emotional on it.

  112. ETM

    Love love love you Marie and COMMUNITY!

    I’m so excited for Halloween (which was yesterday, but I’m still excited, that’s just how excited I am) because I’m unpacking a big ol´ fear. My biggest fear is instability for my son. What if I can’t provide education, shelter, and food. I’m a provider. This fear is so big I literally work at the school where he’s gonna get his education, just to make sure everything is a-okay: tuition, lunch, little bus ride. Everything. Maybe a little too much.

    But my business is growing. My clients are awesome. I love them. And I now stand to make as much money in after-school hours as I do at my day job. Time to take a serious look at what’s holding me back. At the end of this year, I might be making the big leap! This would free me up to give him what he needs the most (a mom with just one job! Hahahaha!) And I would also be doing the thing that I’m most talented at in this world. Helping people write the books they were meant to write. THANKS B-SCHOOL!!!

    So YAY!!! Halloween! Let’s get the fear out!!!

  113. Zoe

    Hey Marie… every time I try to name my fear (the one that prevents me getting my book published) I literally freeze, like my body and mind just hit a big old brick wall! It’s just so frustrating… any top tips gratefully appreciated x

  114. Thanks Maria for all your help and advice. My biggest fear is being seen and looking dumb. I could really boost my confidence and be a better designer if I could get past this.

  115. Sue Hetherington

    Walking through the fear of speaking in public has been one of the most difficult aspects of growing my business. Fear of judgement I suppose. I KNOW deep down I have something of value to share with the world….as well as my own story, which could and would help someone else work through the same life challenges. Having said that, every time I become ‘transparent’ in my web posts, I then sit in silence and sweat ‘lady’ bullets and fret about the outcome.
    Thank you for all you do Marie and Team.
    Sue H.

  116. I have two fears, the fear of flying and the fear of public speaking. I face my fear of flying twelve times each year and I’m proud of the progress I’ve made over the years. I’m driven by necessity. I am here in the USA alone…ALL my family are at home in the UK. I researched teenage suicide attempts for my PhD and wrote ten therapeutic novels to help teenagers avoid this irreversible act. My life without my fear of public speaking would mean I could teach invaluable insights as CEUs for nurses, teachers, counsellors, social workers and therapists. I need help please.
    Sincerely, Dr. Celia Banting.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      You’re doing such important, necessary work in the world, Celia, and we’d love for you to see you share your findings on a larger scale and help those who need you most. There’s an episode of MarieTV about the fear of public speaking––I hope it helps! https://www.marieforleo.com/2013/03/overcome-fear-shyness-josh-pais/

    • Sue

      Dr. Banting
      PLEASE don’t ever stop what you are doing and what you have to offer. It is so needed and necessary. We are witness to so many youth in our society taking their lives at ages as young as 7. PLEASE don’t ever stop <3

  117. My biggest fears are failure and rejection. I expect so much of myself and my business (alternative therapies and counseling) and when I don’t achieve it, I usually get very “judgemental”. The same thing happens when I get an idea and while working on it, I found someone else who’s already doing it or something similar.

    If I did not have my fears, I guess I’d work through my ideas to completetion and not feel like a failure if something didn’t happen.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I know it’s tough when it feels like all your ideas have already been done before, but please don’t let that stop you from sharing your gifts and talents with the world. Marie talks more about this here: https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/01/all-been-done/

  118. Leaving my comfort zone. I know there are ways that I can improve my financial situation, but I am afraid of change, even though that is exactly what I need to do. I would love to be financially self-sustainable by way of my writing. Whether it be my blog or beginning of my book. Anything that would enrich my life, away from the 9-5 rat race

  119. I would leave my job to pursue my emepowerment Speaking and life coaching business full time.

    The same is true for question #2.

    • Lex Morgan

      empowerment speaking (typo)

  120. Emilia Louisa Pucci

    I fear not being good enough as an artist no and that matter how hard I try to improve my art and make a living out of it that my attempt will result in a major failure on a deeply personal, financial and social level. If I didn’t have this fear, I would unabashedly do my art every day and not get discouraged when I plateau/really suck. And I would share more of my art, learning how to receive feedback.

  121. My fear is “what if it doesn’t work?”
    I usually have no problems with putting myself out there, but the bigger I do things, the fear also gets bigger. I created a new “challenge” for business systems (simple systems like email management, onboarding, etc.) and I went all out, graphics, affiliates, copywriter, videos, etc. and the fear of ‘what if it doesn’t…’ almost made me not want to do it!
    No matter the outcome, it always works out because it’s not like I’ll die or anything lol. But I’m finding the bigger the project the bigger the fear.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Wow! It sounds like you’re a really hard worker and you’ve got a lot done so far. When you pour your heart (and time and dollars) into something, there’s always the fear that it might not work. There’s an episode about overcoming fear and switching careers you may find helpful: https://www.marieforleo.com/2017/02/career-change/

  122. Wow! This one came at the perfect time! I’ve been dealing with a lot of fear lately, partly because I’m about to release a project I’ve been working on for several years. However, your question, I think, will help me work through what I’m afraid of. I know it’s a fear of rejection and haters. So, I’m going to spend some time working through this and answering some of the “would be” haters so that I don’t stay in anxiety about it. I think if I plan ahead for SOME people to not like what I’m putting out there, it will help me with the disappointment of that. I’ll be prepared for it! I know more answers will come as I work through this. Thank you so much for the work you do!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s really smart, Brooke! It’s always smart to prepare ahead. You got this!

  123. Recently, I’m noticed that my problem seems to be making decisions; big decisions like where and when to move, little decisions, like picking something on a menu for lunch. Somewhere along the line, I realized that this has become almost crippling to me because everything turns into a stressful decision and I grow frustrated with myself, get defensive when I can’t make a decision and it consumes way too much of my time! I believe that my fear lies with making the wrong choice. I know that deep down, any decision is better than none and I have all the tools to making a decision (I actually recently watched one of your older videos on decision making) but I just seem stuck. I know in part it is because I’m way too analytical but this goes at odds with the part of me that just wants to jump up and do something. I’m not sure my fear comes from not having confidence that I can deal with difficult situations that might come up or if past decisions (that weren’t so great) are making me not trust my own judgement. If I wasn’t scared, I would make a final decision where and when I want to move and not question it.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s definitely tough, Michelle, especially when there are so many decisions to make at any given point in life. I’m not sure which episode about decision-making you saw, but Marie has several and it’s our sincere hope that one (or more!) will help with this. Here’s a group of the decision-based episodes all in one place: https://www.marieforleo.com/?s=decision

  124. Anik

    I am afraid of my voice. I don’t like the way I sound. I sound like that moment on MarieTV when Marie called a guy a douchebag (not to his face)… Except that I sound like that all the time. I have been trying to understand what my problem is-I’m not speaking out of love, so I suppose all my content is a cry for help. I don’t feel like I am saying what I have to say in a way it can be heard. I suppose I am taking value away from one set of ideas and putting it instead on another set by insulting one thing and praising another. I sound bitter to my own ear. And bitterness does not seem like a step to a successful business. Maybe I’m surrounded by the wrong people, so I’m just in a state of constant frustration. I’m worried I will paint myself into such a corner with my bad attitude that I will lose even the great job I have. Rosa Parks pissed people off by not conforming, but what if I simply get put in jail after I refuse to sit at the back of the bus? I have little kids to feed so the risk is high.

  125. I am afraid of being ridiculed & being judged by others if I put myself out there. (It’s safer in here) This keeps me from showing up and being seen. I think this is a HUGE reason why my business has not taken off yet.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      We’d love to see you put yourself out there with confidence. Marie has an episode about overcoming the fear of judgment that I hope you’ll find helpful: https://www.marieforleo.com/2011/11/fear-of-being-judged/

    • Love your honesty Michele x

    • Samira

      Hi Michele,

      You are afraid of being ridiculed, you are probably doing something unconventional and exciting. I would love to see you out there.

  126. Alaina

    I have been afraid of letting go of my corporate job (“that’s such a great company to work for!” they all say, and it’s true… but they can have my job), and the “financial stability” that it has provided for me over the last ten years and nine and a half months. YES – I have been in this job (and wanting something … different … for nearly HALF the time I have been working there – five years. I am terrified that I will not be able to pay my bills, and even more so because last year… I bought a house (and a mortgage).

    If this fear wasn’t an issue… Well, I guess maybe it’s not (as much) anymore because I accepted a part-time job (and FAR less pay) LAST FRIDAY! My current job has been a commute – ever since I bought the house, my driving time has nearly quadrupled to at least 2-3 hours a day. I so crave to have my time back to do much more productive and useful things each day. So, I am making the leap!

    Time is so much more precious to me, cannot be created, and I can make more money if I want to. My new fear is actually starting the thing and being seen – the blog that I have been dreaming of for three years, and offering energy healing and coaching services. I have needed more time, and in a week and a half, that will no longer be an issue.

    If I was not afraid of being seen, I would be out there, offering services, insights, and recipes to people to help them improve their lives, as I have been able to do, over the last few years. I really want to help others, and I know that moving forward with this project will allow me to do so. I have no reason NOT to, anymore, and all the reasons to say YES!

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      Thanks so much for sharing Alaina, and congratulations on taking the next steps toward your dreams! It’s clear that you have a strong desire to serve others and it’s wonderful that you’re making choices that will help give you more time and energy for your creative work. As Marie often reminds us, decisions are rarely permanent, so there’s absolutely nothing wrong with trying something different to see what doors may open. We’re all cheering you on!

  127. KG

    Great topic!! It’s probably the single greatest topic of humanity. What I’m most afraid of I discovered are the thoughts in my head which are just fantasies and imaginations and if I believe in them long enough they become my reality. Once I really began to see the non reality of thoughts and that it was my choice to pay attention to any one of them which gave them power to control me and my actions in life things began to unlock for me.

    • Samira

      Thank you KG,
      That is a wonderful insight!

  128. Hi Marie – you are a lioness with a heart and a sense of humor <3
    My massive, debilitating, paralyzing, concrete-shoes fear is that if I even push my coaching business out there, if I even dare to say that "I can do this" (which I know I can), that I will fail to touch people, that I will be seen as an imposter, and that my ADD will stop me from following through consistently enough to build one brick on top of the other and make it happen, and, when I do fail, my big attempt to make something of myself, my chance to independently thrive, will laughably languish in the mud-like despair of my own hesitation. Because who am I kidding anyway?
    If that fear wasn't an issue? I would be a cyber-published writer and kick-ass coach of very successful, artistically talented people with normal self-doubts and overthinking issues. How's that for a plot-twist? I would also be known for 2) my rock and roll guitar playing and 3) my visible, publicized, nationwide advocacy for the arts (which I believe needs to move to the center of culture and society as we know it. So there's that 😉

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      Wow, Duncan! That’s a vision if I’ve ever heard one. It sounds like you have an incredible amount of clarity and motivation to make your dreams a reality– and the great news is you’re already half-way there! So often we focus on the things that could go wrong, but I’d love to encourage you to ask yourself what amazing things could happen if you did launch your coaching business…

      A powerful exercise can be to answer the question “wouldn’t it be great if…” at least three times to get to the core of your desire that you can tap into whenever you need a boost of inspiration and motivation. This MarieTV episode is a great place to start if you need an extra push: https://www.marieforleo.com/2014/02/brainstorming/ You’ve SO got this, Duncan!

    • Samira

      Wow Duncan!
      Your enthusiasm is contagious! Thank you for sharing that.

  129. Andrea

    My biggest fear is to talk in front of public and introducing myself to successful business people. Being and talking at business meetings, dinners or any kind of work meeting makes me so anxious that I have to find my way out of there. My anxiety has increased over the past two years!

    • Samira

      Dear Andrea
      Have you checked out Marie’s episode about overcoming fear? In that episode Marie and her Fiance Josh talk about fear. That video is my “go-to”. That is why I am recommending that.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NaUS6iDFeM

      • Andrea

        Thanks Samira. I will check it out!

  130. I Fear loosing the stability and continuous financial support that my 9 to 5 job gives me(even I feel that it’s leaving me brain dead!) if I was to put more money and time into my own business.
    My mum and dad were always employees and had the same employers for decades! So for me to think of making money out of something I create for myself is scary.

  131. You look beautiful in that pinky jumpsuit!! muah!
    Fear to me is like fire that keeps growing bigger by the minute that I decided to not act on what I need to do to advance. Whether, it’s for my career or growing my blog audience. I always ask myself this question whenever I’m about to hold myself back from doing what I’m afraid of…” Will I regret this decision?” if it’s yes, I acknowledge my fear and proceed with sweaty palms or shaky voice, I’m doing it. Xoxo

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      Thanks so much for the kind words, Kolyanne! You painted a powerful picture of what fear can look, and feel, like if we don’t act on it. As Marie often reminds us, “fear is like a GPS for our soul” and it can be a powerful ally if we let it guide us (sweaty palms and all!).

  132. Luca Cimaao

    Hey Marie, I’ve been watching your videos lately and the more I see them the more confident do I feel about my career path. But, The thing is I’m 25 an I feel terribly lost, I thought I knew what I want it and I follow it, I’m still following it, but it feels at times impossible to reach, the more I walk into it, the more lost i feel. And now that I’m starting it feels like If I quit it won’t be too late, but If I don’t quit and keep following something that feels so blur might not be the best idea. I was wondering if you have any advice for when you feel incredible lost even when you’re doing what you love. And talk about the feelings that you might experience after you following your dreams.

  133. If I wasn’t afraid of doing all the work and then no-one being interested or buying in I’d create a membership site for parents who want to ask questions, share experiences and learn how to use tools like emotional freedom technique and others and simple language skills and games to help their children develop a resilient and accepting attitude to failure and create a growth mindset so they can take on new challenges and school work with I can figure this out attitude.
    Parents would learn ways to feel more confident in their ability to manage and less like they were randomly reacting to their children and their worries and fears. Homework, chores and the day to day experience of being a parent would become less stressful. Parents would feel supported in developing an authoritative parenting style.
    Children who have an authoritative parents and a growth mindset do better at school, are less likely to be bullied and are less likely to fall into depression and contemplate suicide as teenagers. They’re more able to resist peer pressure to drink to excess and try drugs. They are more inclined to have confidence that whatever gets thrown at them they can weather the storm and know they always have a choice.
    Parents could choose to join on a monthly basis and leave whenever they wished. I’d invite in guest experts each month, present a live training each week. Have a Q&A day. Encourage a supportive community that would answer each others questions. A place to be open and share your worries, fears and exasperation at the job of parenting without feeling like a complete failure or ‘the worst mum/dad in the world’
    Funny how passionate I can be about it but still let my fear get in the way.

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      Thanks so much for sharing your vision with us, Diana! It’s clear you have a strong desire to serve parents, and children, through your unique approach to these important and timely topics. It sounds like you already have an incredible amount of clarity around your ideas, so I’d love to encourage you to ask yourself what are your potential barriers-to-entry and find ways to work around them.

      Does the idea of charging for memberships feel daunting? Start with a free blog, newsletter, or community group where you can begin having these conversations. Worried no one will “show up” to your page? Find out where your potential subscribers/members are hanging out and contribute to the discussion there. Perhaps organizing a monthly in-person event for parents at a local school, or contributing written pieces to an existing publication could help you build interest (and confidence) in your own work. We can’t wait to hear how your ideas continue to grow and evolve- do keep us posted!

  134. My fear is to burn out my savings by continuing to invest in my business, which has yet to see any return. However, I am giving myself permission to see the big picture and have a trusting heart to focus on the possible positive outcome.

    Love Marie’s contents….many topics are very close to what I’m doing.

    Marie, thank for your being an inspiration!

  135. There is not much that I will admit that I am afraid of.
    In reality though, I am very afraid. Afraid my nonprofit won’t hit its goals. Afraid that I am in a romantic relationship with a friend, while the love of my life is out there somewhere else. Afraid I might never be able to have kids. Afraid that living “outside of the box” is just a fantasy I have been indulging in.

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      Thanks so much for your honesty, Lulu! These are all completely valid fears and ones shared by many people, so just know you’re not alone. So often, a lot of our fear and doubt comes from having a very narrow idea of what “success” looks like.

      However, as we’ve learned from so many creative entrepreneurs (and their MarieTV interviews!) over the years, the journey can look totally different for the outcome (happiness, love, joy, etc.) to be the same. Just like there are a number of ways to build a successful business, there are several options when it comes to relationships, parenting, and lifestyles. Just because our way may not look like other’s, it doesn’t make them any less valid or valuable.

      As Danielle LaPorte shares in this powerful episode, by tapping into our core desired feelings we can find clarity and direction to help us set personalized goals that inspire us (regardless of what other people are doing): https://www.marieforleo.com/2013/12/danielle-laporte-goals-desire/ Thanks so much for sharing your heart with us today.

      • Wow, I really do love this Danielle episode. Thanks for speaking to my soul, friend.

  136. I’d let go of my fear of successes and being able to have it all. I’d embrace the fact that fulfilling all needs in life allows it all. I’d publish my research in Nature during my PhD, be empowered by money instead of afraid it won’t come, create a research blog to connect my work with a larger audience, have the nurturing nourishing relationship with a hot man, and have support from my lady friends who are rooting for me, and run a sub 3:00 hour marathon time. #goals. I recently let myself believe in these goals and it was liberating!

  137. IF I wasn’t afraid, I’d keep my pursuit of putting together a book / magazine that showcases all of the real-life client stories of success and failures of marketing for my clients. I know there’s a huge value in breaking down these experiences because it will help others (and draw in more of my ideal clients). I have all of the headlines written out, and have begun writing, but part of me wonders if I’m even qualified or if anyone will take it seriously. I guess for now, that’s not the point. Thanks for the reminder to keep at it! ; )

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      Thanks for sharing, Bryce! It sounds like you’re making some incredible progress on your project so I’d love to encourage you to step back and celebrate how far you’ve already come. So often we compare our own journeys to someone else’s destination, but the process of creating something from scratch is unique each time. As Marie often reminds us, “the world needs that special gift only YOU have”, and I’d love to share this episode that may help spark some new ideas for you as you continue working toward your dreams: https://www.marieforleo.com/2016/06/feeling-unoriginal/

  138. Keila B

    Nice episode. It reflects and answers exactly what I’m living.
    My answers… To question #1
    I’m afraid of having a good idea and not being able to deal with the high demand that it can create. And, of course, I’m also afraid that what I believe it’s a good idea, it’s also a failure.

    To question #2:
    I would take off all the feeling of scarcity from my thought, from my skin, from my life. I would choose to live in an abundance of feelings, of life, of love and health and also material.

    I’m on the way. Soon or later it will happen and I’ll live the life I want.
    <3

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      The magic in sharing those words, Keila, is that you’re so right- you are on your way. There’s beauty in taking the power away from the fears and facing them. Your abundance is yours because you were born- it’s as simply as that. You’ve got this. xo

  139. c

    Fear of “failure” (whatever that means)! And fear that failure will lead to “losing everything”.

    I would start a business! Or two 😉 I would start something “good enough” and go from there!

    I WILL!!!

    Amazing how just answering those two questions, even simply, has brought me so much courage and begun to release a lifetime’s worth of anxiousness and mental roadblocks! I will be diving into my B-School Journey next week, and my fear-based heaviness has been replaced by super excitement and creative flow! I can feel it!

    I will be referring back to this thread…thank you Dear Friends and Journey-Mates, for all you offer <3

    xoxox

  140. Samira

    Hi Marie,
    Thank you for what you do and most importantly for what you are. (Amazing Life coach and a wonderful human being)

    I want to be an author. I want to write books. I believe that I have some very important messages that my life experiences have taught me. People can benefit from them. I am actually afraid of being rejected (because I do not have any formal education in writing field) and being seen as a fraud because some of the messages are already out there. But, I want to share them as well adding my perspective to them. The biggest fear is that I will be alone on this journey. I won’t have my family support. I can’t share my vision to them. Oh my goodness! I am afraid of so many things, I didn’t even realize.
    Thank you Marie for this episode!

    What would I do if fear wasn’t as issue. Well, I could make YouTube videos and write blogs about the insights that I have learnt from my life experiences, but I am choosing writing books. The reason is that my writing is stronger than my speaking. Writing is easier for me. Books give us a broader perspective of things. I am currently working on my first manuscript and I share a blog with my husband. (I remember that he created that blog for me too because he knows I love writing. I do have family support.) I am afraid to tell him about my inspiration for writing books. If I tell him he may be supportive of that too. He may help me too because he is also an eloquent writer too. He is also a charismatic speaker too. Another fear arises, I would look stupid as compared to him. Ah! Comparison! OK I just got it. These are magical questions.

    I am going to continue working on my manuscript and on blog and on communication with my family. I am afraid, but I will do it anyway. As you once said, “Action is the antidote to fear.”

    Thank you!

    • Heather- Team Forleo

      Marie always says, “Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.” and Samira you’re proof of that statement. Each action that you’re taking is moving you towards the dream of writing the books that you have on your heart. You know your gift and you’re walking towards it, rather than doing something that doesn’t feel like your genius zone.

      These insights are so valuable for your future and what a beautiful gift you have given yourself.
      Sending you a BIG Team Forleo hug. xo

      • Samira

        Dear Heather,
        Thank you …Thank you …..Thank you!
        Your encouraging words are just what I needed to hear. I feel a lot more confident now.

  141. Prachi Sharma

    I am student who is stuck in a professional course which I should have completed 3 years ago. Now I am running 26. I am jobless and totally dependent on my parents. And I fear that by the time I complete my course, no one will provide me job. They will question what took me so long. They will see through and judge me for my failures. I disappoint ppl so much.

  142. I am afraid of not being successful .i amalso afraid of failing .

  143. Fear that I am not moving from a place of Love, but that I am doing things selfishly.

  144. Katie Jordan

    I’m afraid I won’t have enough money to pay my moms and my bills and end up on the street. My mom is trying to get disability because she can’t work but only gets $200 in General Assistance so I have to pay her rent and whatever else she needs. Also that I won’t have enough money to start being in massage school so I can help people heal therapeutically. If I didn’t have to worry about money, I would be a CMT and RD so I can help people get through health issues traditional close minded doctors won’t help them with. Educating people on how to be more self aware so they can choose how they want their health.

  145. I’m afraid the business idea I have won’t pan out, and/or I’ll get bored. I went to school for a degree in one thing, and while I like the job I have using my degree, I am interested in pursuing so many other things. I’m afraid of sinking a lot of time, energy and money into something and getting bored with it.

  146. If I wasn’t afraid I would begin to share this innate light, joy, and voice more unapologetically with the world. I would write, I would blog, I would motivate – I would let go. I wouldn’t care what people thought.

    The conflicting beliefs are that I want to connect, belong, be accepted – but my soul also wants to machete through the unknown and inspire people by leading a new path. To liberate others and show them that they are loved for being different.

    Freckles on a portrait of skin, stars in a dark night, love in an angry room – they all shine because of the contrast. Different is beautiful.

    If I weren’t afraid I would express myself freely. In every evolving angle of life. A sonic boom of expansion, radiating pure love out in every direction.

    Fears that cropped up as I wrote this:
    – I don’t know the clear answer to which direction to take. Fear of missing the chance to make a difference. Fear of not reaching my potential. Fear of time running out.
    – Fear or being deserving, fear of outshining. Fear of coming from the ego. Fear of being alone. Fear of my intentions being misconstrued. Fear of having to say no. Fear of not being perfect. Fear of not being liked.

    Wow I’m seeing fears befriend, or shall i say be-fear eachother – tag-teaming up to turn into one sticky clump of gummy doubt.

    What this is showing me is that we all have parts within us that resist love or create hesitancies. What if we didn’t hesitate to express, to love, to fail to move? What if we allowed our fears to propel is and open us up?

    Perhaps fears are just the keys jingling to unlock another channel within us. And behind that door are more gifts, growth, and light.

    What would we do if we could not fail? Perhaps we would greet fear as an old friend trying to steer us towards our dreams.

    If we didn’t feel fear how would we know that there was something important to us on the line?

    trusting that fear is only in our minds.
    Today’s practice will be to breathe and acknowledge any fear but use it as energy to move through a situation rather than stop.

    Thank you for this post Marie & team!

    Inspired,
    Sara

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      What you shared is absolutely beautiful, Sara. Thank you for opening up and sharing what’s on your heart. I know the fears of not knowing what direction to take and time running out can be exceptionally strong and sometimes difficult to shake, so I wanted to share some MarieTV episodes about those that I hope will inspire and encourage you:
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2014/11/life-purpose/
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/10/feeling-behind-in-life/

      • Sara Sharp

        Mandy!! What a happy surprise when an email came in saying that a reply had been left on my comment – thank you for taking the time 🙂 Tabbing open the two links you shared to watch tonight.

        I’m going to ask because I’m NOT afraid (woohoo!) – If I have the bravery to embark away towards a higher path, are there opportunities to get involved with the Marie team? My heart knows that my calling is to be in a space empowering other people with comradery. This feels right. There’s no time like the now, so I’m going to put my heart out there and see if there is an opportunity to give back with you!

        Daylight savings just became daylight spending,
        To leaps of faith,
        Sara

  147. I am just starting up to try offering lifestyle coaching on my own, using my own brand and just … me. My biggest fear is nobody would want to train with me and pay me and if they did, they would not get the results they are looking for. Sounds silly now that i write it down haha

    But if i werent afraid, and those two are not real, I would create
    – a simplified system for everyone in the world that will change their lifestyle
    – i would write a book about it
    – i would travel the world to teach people how to do it
    – i would work with schools to influence the school education system
    – i would create a training program for other coaches

    Thanks so much for opening my mind

  148. Afraid of not being financially secure if I change from doing corporate America and go in a more educational direction. One and only fear right now. If I was more financially secure, I could see myself applying and trying for any and all jobs that struck my fancy. Or going out and getting any extra education I needed to achieve the job I wanted.

  149. Anonymus

    Hello!I want to be a music producer but my parents don’t allow me to do so I mean follow my dream i m afraid that if I would go against there wish It would spoil our relation.I am actually not interested in living anymore .I wish you could guide me, may be?

    • Jillian - Team Forleo

      Dear soul, we hear you and we want you to know that no matter what your dreams are, we’re here to support you.

      First, before anything else, we hope that choose to stay safe and do no harm to yourself. If you’re feeling like hurting yourself, I highly recommend contacting a local suicide hotline. Here’s a link with the number of the national hotline here in the US: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

      There are trained specialists who work those lines, and they can help support you and find the help you need you’re going through a really difficult time. Your voice and gifts are needed in this world, and we’re wishing only the best for you.

      Additionally, you may want to take some time to share some more about your dreams with your parents. You may be surprised to hear that they want you to be happy, and support you in ways you may not have thought. We’re so grateful that you’re a part of this community.

  150. Alexia

    1. Afraid of far too many things at the moment: failure, coming across as unintelligent, what others think of me, not knowing what I really want out of life, what my purpose is, missing opportunities, networking, speaking in public, finding and not finding that next assignment/job, finally closing the door on my relationship, not finding love again, being alone, leaving my parents behind, leaving my dog behind, the tools/skills/experience I currently possess not being “enough”, wasting precious time on always worrying instead of using my time and energy to grow, create and contribute.

    2. I would pack my bags, get on that plane and go and spend time supporting development and/or nature/wildlife conservation projects in Africa, South East Asia etc. I would (again) fill my life with travel, meeting new and inspiring people, building friendships, creating new experiences and hopefully make some meaningful contributions and find fulfillment.

  151. Deepthi

    I am an engineering student studying computer science. I have the fear of failure! I worry that I’m gonna mess up my projects or assignments or exams, and hence sometimes fail to even try. Due to this reason i sometimes ask my friends for help and they are all sometimes pretty mean about it. then, there is this other fear that stops me from standing up for myself in front a classmate or friend is being over critical or downright mean. If those fears didn’t exist i would have been i lot more successful and self-trusting and self-reliant!!!

  152. The Weinstein scandal and all the stories in the news triggered a return of panic and PTSD. It has been difficult to deal with but I just keep moving forward, even if it is just by inches. My blog was difficult to complete this month. But I got it out there and told some of the horrendous story of my past. It would mean a lot to me if you took the time to read it. THANKS!!

  153. The first fear holding me back is a popular one—appearing stupid or ignorant—and I can manage that. The second is a fear is not being able to earn enough money to support our basic needs, and ending up living under a bridge somewhere. I know that’s a limbic anxiety best addressed by caring for my health and well-being.

    What I don’t know how to manage is expressing controversial content and dealing with the backlash of trolls and angry individuals. Particularly being a woman with strong values and ideals around social justice, seeing the way women are treated in traditional and social media is horrifying (the 2016 election, as one example). These are not just emotional fears, and unfortunately misogyny is real. Since this is a question of perceived or actual safety, I hold myself back. Any advice?

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      This is such a great question and your timing is perfect because Marie just did a Facebook Live the other day and someone asked a very similar question! If you check out the Facebook Live https://www.facebook.com/marieforleo/videos/10155406812988978/ around the 9:16 mark, I think you’ll appreciate what Marie has to say. 🙂

  154. Nicole

    You know how you can hear the same thing a thousand times, but it’s not until the thousand and first that it’s like you’re hearing it for the first because you’re finally in a place where you’re ready to take it in? That was my experience of reading this one. Mulling over these questions helped me to know that I was finally ready to devote myself more whole-heartedly to my private practice. To make the choice to leave the security of working for someone else in order to follow my vision for how I believe the work that I do can be done. To take a risk on myself. Thank you, Marie, for the guidance over the years to offer the unique gift that only I have xo

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s wonderful, Nicole! We’re really proud of you for committing to your private practice and giving it your all. You got this! 🙂

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