Marie Forleo introduction

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I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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Can you imagine what life would look like if you stopped caring about all the little things that don’t matter, so you had more energy to care about the big things that really do?

This question is at the heart of my conversation with Mark Manson, author of the irreverent and brilliant New York Times bestseller, ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’. Obvious warning: don’t watch this episode if you find the f-word offensive.

Mark has fresh and valuable insight to share on what brings true happiness and fulfillment in life. If you struggle with perfectionism, people-pleasing tendencies and feeling overwhelmed by caring what others think — this one’s for you.

The key to living isn't getting rid of struggle, it's finding good struggles. @IAmMarkManson Click To Tweet

In this delightful conversation you’ll learn:

  • Why certainty is the enemy of growth
  • How the key to living a good life isn’t getting rid of struggle, it’s finding the right struggles
  • Why indifference doesn’t solve your life problems, but caring about what matters = fulfillment
  • How you can’t be an important and life-changing presence for some people without also being a joke and an embarrassment to others
  • And so much more

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

Listen Now

Now, I’d love to know:

1. What’s one specific thing in your business or your life that would improve if you started giving more f*cks about it?

2. What’s one specific thing that you should be giving no f*cks about — at all?

Fun questions, right? Remember to share as much detail as possible in your reply. Thousands of incredible souls come here each week for insight and inspiration, and your comment may help someone else see their world in a new light.

Important: share your thoughts and ideas directly. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be deleted as they come across as spammy.

Thank you a million times over for adding your voice and helping to make this corner of the Internet one of the best in the land. Remember…

No matter how great your life is, you’re always going to encounter pain and struggle. The question is, how are you going to respond?

If you have friends, clients or colleagues who tend to care way too much about what people think, forward this email. They’ll thank you for the laugh, and the fresh perspective.

With so much love,

XO

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246 comments

  1. 1. Uhhmm, I want to give more fucks about how I pitch/sell myself to clients. I mean, I sort of undersell myself, which doesn’t help me at all. I fear to come of as Little Miss Know-it-all, so I rather stay on the safe side and don’t push too hard. I feel like I don’t want to bother people with my services.

    2. I am currently learning only to care about/listen to the criticism/feedback I specifically asked for and to give 0 f*** about unasked feedback. The struggle is real.

    • Annabe

      Delightful interview.
      Jennifer, with you on no.1. It just feels as if I have to claim that spot on the widescreen to be good and successful at what I do. It is just not me! I am quiet and I work quietly. I will think of you as I mountain climb my way into visibility.

      No.2. Learning to ignore when I am hurried by other people’s agendas, but embrace my own pace.

    • Dear Jennifer I can sign under your post 😉 Let the force be with us girl and many others who are in the same situation 😉
      Big hugs!

    • Jennifer, thank you so much for sharing that. I have been facing the exact same problem of underselling myself in all areas of my life in order to accommodate everyone else so they can feel important. NO MORE!

    • Hi Jennifer, Hi Annabe,

      I am the same as you two girls. Especially, you, Annabe.
      I am quiet and want to keep my own pace. I am successful at that right now. But it is a struggle.
      And, because I am quiet, it is difficult to “sell” myself. Which ironic. Because I am doing marketing and selling/marketing stuff is my job. But when it is about yourself, it is waaay more difficult (right?)
      Jennifer, I checked your website. I think you are in the same case.

      And so I discussed this problem with many people and what came out of it was that it is not about “selling” yourself but more about being honest. You should keep your value and ethics in mind. Some people will hate you, some will love you. It was discussed in this week’s post but Marie also made some other videos before about it as well. We are a whole, value, ethics, skills, etc. So when we “sell” ourselves, we should embrace all of them.

      PS: Jennifer, I love the little rainbow that serves as your website icon

      Cheers,

      Fanny

  2. Brian

    So….I have a question. Didn’t Sarah Knight already cover this idea with her book “The Magic of Not Giving a F*ck”? I enjoyed the conversation with Mark, but I’m just wondering if this isn’t ground that has already been claimed by Sarah.

    • “There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages.” Mark Twain

      • JonB

        Samuel Clemons never lived in the world we live in today. I disagree, there’s always new ideas everywhere. And Petie Hernandez can really sing! Why do people change their names? Answer that one, Sammie. I wonder if I should give a fuck.

      • Love the kaleidoscope analogy. Part of the creative process for me is taking current ideas and blend them into a new design.

    • Amanda

      The book derives from an article that was written in January 2015. If I am not wrong, that was way before the book “The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F‎*ck”by Sarah Knight was launched. Maybe his article + Marie Kondo inspired her to write the book!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Brian, thanks so much for watching and commenting! I’m not familiar with Sarah’s work, however I do know that Mark’s book stemmed from an article he wrote that went viral, which was originally published in January 2015.

      The beauty of great ideas is that we can share similar messages and concepts in our own unique voices, and it’s all about finding a voice that really resonates with you!

      • Nyali

        Caroline – appreciate your responses. Any chance you might share a link to Mark’s inspiring article. I’ve been offline so this would be helpful. Many thanks to yourself, Marie and team.
        Kindly Nyali

    • I was thinking the same thing. This feels so similar.

    • It’s a common theme, but maybe a fresh perspective? There’s also Fuck It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way by John Parkin.

    • If you read Elisabeth Gilberts The Big Magic she talks about Ideas floating around and we can hook in to them and do something or we let them go. Im totally in to that concept cause I dont think there are just one person for one idea. We are not coming up with ideas from below I feel we have abilites for certain areas and then we can catch ideas and develop them depending on our skills and experiences or time etc etc We have heard about a certain idea that has been developed by different people with out them realising the others were working on the same stuff : ) I love this….life is magic but we all have our individual ways of bringing things out in to the world.
      I also feel that I can see new levels in myself when I hear the same thing from another direction or person.

    • I already had think about the book that as similar title from S.N. , and i thought strange. Know that i’ved read the coments i would Love to read the both books. And by the way, Marie could invite Sarah Knight for one more amazing intreview😉

  3. Sara

    Enjoyed the interview. The part about doing what you enjoy is frustrating to those of us who have no special talent/interest. In other words no $h!t sandwich tastes good, now what do I do?

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      That’s a great question, Sara! We did an episode a while back that you might really enjoy checking out for some great tips on finding your special gift, even if you don’t think you have one: http://www.marieforleo.com/2015/03/special-gifts/

      Another thing I really love is the sentiment shared by author Elizabeth Gilbert about how, if we’re not sure what we’re passionate about, we can simply follow our curiosity. If there’s something you’re curious about, you might take a class or explore it further. The word curious makes it feel a little more fun and less serious than “passion,” so it can help you explore interests that might really resonate with you!

  4. Ron Hays

    How disappointing, I must say that I “Hate” the F word, and I just cannot believe that “you” would stoop to this level.
    I had a lot of respect for you, but that has now gone out the window.
    It is with deep regret that I must disconnect from this site.
    Regards
    Ron

    • And there it is! Mark said that being bold is polarizing. You can’t have people LOVE what you do without also having people HATE what you do. So, Ron is disconnecting from Marie and her work. And, here I am more engaged than ever. In fact, this might the first comment I have ever left on Marie’s site (even though I have been watching MarieTV for years).

      Look at that, Mark. You were right.

      • Dina! Yes, I agree! To Ron, really? Not that you’ll see this now since you’re disconnected from Marie because of the F word, but, what?! Seems like cutting your nose off to spite your face. Why would you want to miss out on all this smart goodness because of a silly word (that’s not really all that offensive in the end), and regretfully, you say? At least if that’s how you really feel, don’t be regretful about it. And as far as words go, I can think of much worse. I don’t go around dropping F bombs everyday, but maybe this is something you could stop giving an F about.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Ron, thank you for taking a moment to share your feedback. We understand not everyone in our audience uses this kind of language, and I’d love to clarify a bit of the context here.

      The reason we featured Mark Manson as a guest this week is because Marie resonated so much with his initial blog post and message, which is all about figuring out what to care about and what to avoid devoting too much of our energy or attention to.

      He chose to use this kind of language as it’s part of his vocabulary, but it’s also a deliberate choice to be provocative and a bit shocking. We of course understand it’s not to everyone’s taste, but the choice in language is purposeful.

      We always do include disclaimers on episodes that have language some people may not like, so you can always choose to skip those episodes. We’re sorry to see you go, though please know you’re always welcome to tune in to any of our other episodes without this kind of language!

    • sheena

      wow… guess you should have heeded the warning and not gotten all bunched up about it.

      • Pam

        Exactly

      • Benjamin Hines

        Ron is not the brightest bulb in the box. Before reading anything, seeing the video, it clearly stated not to continue if you don’t like the word. Therefore, why would you continue to even comment?

        I have been a fan of Marie’s work for quite some time. I recall I made a comment on one of her YouTube video’s back some time ago, where I said, I gave negative fucks, as you have a lot of haterade going on no matter what you do. She replied back with a LOL.

  5. Loved this. It made me think about my life more than my business, so here goes:
    One thing to give more f***s about in my life is I think my health. Like: gym above laundry!
    And something to give no f*cks about — at all? How much sleep my kids get. It makes me too anxious if they don’t get enough sleep but they’d probably sleep more if I wasn’t being a stress monster about it. They’re 6 and 9 and have survived this far, right?

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Love this, Lizzie!

    • Jenjen Jen

      I really appreciate this, Lizzie! House work for me, too deserves way less F’s than I usually give and health, fun and exercise deserve way more. Also, making things perfect all the time, or striving for that deserves WAY less of my energy… usually what that is stemming from is my fear of what others will think of me. I know that deserves way fewer fucks.
      AND my focus on my career; doing the work in the world that is only mine to do, needs to switch places with that fear in the fucks department.
      How do I do that???

      • R.C.

        Jen – your comment on “making things perfect all the time” resonates so much with me! Thanks for sharing it. I liked Mark’s suggestion of “question your assumptions. Why do you assume that if everything is ‘perfect’ that you will feel happier, life will be better, etc?” I’m asking this question to myself in response to this video and it’s something I’ll continue to think about. If you want to chat more, feel free to email me at blossombabypr [at] gmail [dot] com which is my work email and we can connect. If not, no worries and know that I share the sentiments you voiced in your comment!

  6. Allan B

    it,s god to see the cirkle again whit marks new blok as a wake op call , Fuck this old system and lets have the new systems, whit much more LOve and compassion whit each other, ,thats not a F….
    Allan b

  7. I needed this today! As an artist and business owner, I’m always trying to please everyone else. Taking care of yourself takes more work than pleasing others, “Hope for a life of Good Problems!” I love that phrase!

  8. Hell yeah! I Love Mark Manson’s work. And was just wondering over the wknd, if you Marie would have a conversation with him on Marie TV. Its incredible, how intuitions meets in the outer space. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH to both of you. it was a joy to listen carefully and see Mark talking ;). Always just read his blog.

    for me, I wanna give more a F*ck on the freedom in my life to experiment and explore and pursue the life I love AND moving through phases of uncomfort, anxiety and “feeling bad” with more grace. Its part of it and actually brings the results as we’ve just heard.

    give less a F*CK: Id like to quote here Marie: “Clarity comes from engagement”. That means too, that if things don’t match, or work out or weren’t fruitful, then that actually is a success and nothing to worry about. Accept and let go and move on!

    so many more just coming into my mind. Great inspiration this interview! Really!
    Thank you so much! im feeling very grateful!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Hooray, we’re so glad this episode really resonated with you, Stefanie! We’re so glad you’re a fan of Mark’s work, and we were so honored to have him on MarieTV 🙂

      • I can imagine! Must have been a joy. Mark appears so humble. I love it.

        Thanks so much for your reply on my comment.
        All my love to Marie and Team Forleo.

  9. Hello! I believe we should not give such a f*ck about attaining what has been established as the “perfect body”. A couple of weeks ago, someone I know sent me this link. I have since sent it to almost every women I know.

    Cheers to self love!!

    xo
    Katie

  10. Melanie

    Good material and idea. But why are you cheapening it and contributing to the coarsening of society and your readership – the substitution of “**” for “uc” accomplishes nothing. Please go back to your roots (the old saw – if your Mom saw what you were doing, would she approve?).

    And as long as I’m at it, it would be great if you could ask your podcast guests to clean up their language too. They can do it – they are smart and caring people.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Melanie, thank you for sharing your feedback, and we’re so glad to hear that you found some great takeaways from this episode.

      To quickly clarify, the choice of language in this episode is actually purposeful. Mark’s intent with incorporating the language he used was actually to be provocative, and that’s his choice for his work. There are some incredible messages and takeaways in everything he shares, which is why we were excited to share his work with our audience.

      Throughout the years, we prefer to not censor our guests, however we always do include disclaimers on episodes with stronger language that some people might not enjoy, so you’re always welcome to skip those and tune in to the ones that resonate with you!

      • Melanie

        Understood. But respectfully, please also understand that I’m making a choice to no longer listen to podcasts marked explicit. If we don’t start pushing back on inappropriate behavior, it will continue.

        • Pam

          Oh, please…the more you “push back”, the more you make the actual word an issue. Language evolves…like everything else.

  11. 1. What’s one specific thing in your business or your life that would improve if you started giving more f*cks about it?

    EVERYTHING!!!! OMG, Marie and Mark. This is one of the lesson that I am literally facing. But really celebrating and owning how valuable and worthy I am. I gave so little F*** about what I want to do, to the point that I don’t know what I want. so, now, I want to give FUCK about what I WANT and DESIRE!!!

    2. What’s one specific thing that you should be giving no f*cks about — at all?
    What other people think of me, especially when I’m promoting my business. Because what my offering and service do make differences. B-School has definitely been helping me be more confident about doing this. Marie, you are a rockstar. Thank you for the episode.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Great examples, Yuko! I totally hear you on the not giving a f**k about what other people think – that’s such a big one. We’re so glad to hear that B-School has been helping in that regard, and keep up the amazing work! ♥

  12. I need to give more fucks about how 3 Keys Therapy helps others get out of their own way fast (like within 10 minutes per issue) and less fucks about what other people (including my husband, and oddly myself) think about offering this groundbreaking intuitive therapy to the world… dammit.

  13. Sheryl

    Great episode. 🙂

    1/ I want to give more fucks about putting myself out there. I know sharing my life’s crap stories and my life’s sweet stories will partner well with my creative DIY stories aka tutorials and inspire so many. The process of designing and building furniture, artwork, a website and writing tutorials has kept me from from going down that freaky dark tunnel when going through crap. I want to share this.

    2/. I want to say a big fuck off to fear and it’s debilitating claws. Fuck you to the fear of cancer coming back. Fuck you to my 7 year old daughter’s kidneys disease. Fuck you to that horrible woman 4 years ago at the government office for threatening me with all you could to take my website down when on assistance and making my life horrible while going through chemo. Fuck you to the fear of putting myself out there. Fuck you to the fear of the guilt of making copious amounts of money when others have so little. (Almost over this one as would do do much good). Fuck it. I’m going for it.

    • Kiki

      Enjoy life to the fullest! Meditating wile taking short or long walks and observing nature, could be fun. Try it if you have done so already! With care, Kiki

      • Kiki

        If you haven’t done already I mean.

    • Sheryl, yes! Fuck all of that! And the part about wanting money when others have so little, try to look at is this way: The more money you make, the more money you can give and the more money you can put back into the economy. The more money you spend, the more money others have to spend as well! Especially if you make the conscious decision to support small businesses.
      Make money! Make as much money as you possibly can! Then share it!

  14. Oh God!!

    I should be giving more! Will applay everything and order the book now!!

  15. Kiki

    You are the Best Marie! Keep up the good work! Yes you will get bed criticism too but who cares. You are focusing on doing good for people and this is what matters. With care, always Kiki

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much for your kind words, Kiki! ♥

  16. 1. Writing. I need to care much more about the simple act of writing. Writing and storytelling brings me so much joy, and I love the sh*t sandwich that comes with it. I need to give much more of a fu*k about my daily writing habits.

    2. Building a business around my writing. I need to care less about this because it is crippling me. I have an idea for a new community blog I want to build. But, I am getting caught up in the question … “but how can I build a business around it.?” Maybe it won’t be a business – meaning it won’t make any money. Maybe its currency will be joy. Joy for me, and joy for its readers.

    • Kiki

      Do you always need to make money by writing? Did you check the copy cure yet?

      • Hi, Kiki. I did not look at the copy cure yet. It’s on my list though. What do like most about the copy cure?

    • R.C.

      Dina – I relate so much to the idea of “but how will this make money?” It’s like “if this never made me any money, would it be worth doing anyway?” You’re right – money isn’t the only currency – joy can be tremendous value and it’s hard to see sometimes in the beginning how that can evolve. Something can start out as giving joy and evolve into providing an income (or maybe not ever) but either way still be worthy of your time and energy. Thanks for sharing this sentiment – I feel it too!

  17. Camila

    I think I need to give 0 fucks about feeling certain emotions in the moment that does feel too good such as feeling bad, insecure, damn, jealous, victim like, guilty etc. And most importantly don’t give a fuck about it accept it and move on.
    I have to give fucks about how my feelings make me feel and how they make feel others specially my love ones and significant other because they can have either a negative or positive impact on our relationship. And it matters to me to make sure that I am being mindful and thoughtful about this. As the saying goes “people will forget what you do but they won’t forget how you make them feel” I think this is very true, u have been on both sides of this statement and either side does not feel too good. Overall I want to be a better person to be and enjoy with myself and also to be around! While focusing on what matters rather than being like for the sake of being like.

  18. Felix Opoku

    Thank you so much for the great teachings about choice.Hhow I must stop caring about things that don’t matter. To me, this is timely. Since the beginning of the month I have been thinking about how to focus on one thing to get results. It means that my intention and attentions​ are really getting in the right order. Listening to great achievers like Dr.John Asaraf programs has been a great source of excitement to me. Thank you again for your powerful motivational words. I want all the readers to get themselves involve and if they have the means to buy your products, please don’t hesitate. Be blessed with love and light.

  19. Absolutely fantastic interview and so much wisdom! The part about not caring about feeling bad sometimes is so important–I’m so glad to hear you and Mark are both proponents of that idea. The self-help field is way to saturated with a stigma that we’re not good enough if we’re not always happy. This is an issue I’m so passionate about debunking, especially for people living with mental illness, so it elates me to hear you talk about this!

    In terms of what I need to give more and less fucks about:
    I want to give engaging, deep, and passionate conversations directly with the people I serve. I’ve been letting this slide because of my focus on analytics and numbers–important, but I’m too involved. This is what I’ll be giving many less fucks about!

    Thanks for such great content, as always, Marie and team.

  20. Mel

    I only recently learned what really truly invigorates me – I discovered, surprisingly, that my favorite pain is the behind-the-scenes work of my business: the figuring out of things, like tweaking my website, getting programs to communicate with each other, learning tech challenges. It’s like a puzzle that I have to put together, and sometimes it’s frustrating, but it’s one of my favorite things to do. Thanks, Marie and Mark!

  21. Janis

    I smell sharks circling in these last two posts. Of course, Mark is speaking what has already been written and thought, for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. It was “The Preacher” in Ecclesiastes (1:9) who is first recorded as saying “there is nothing new under the sun.” Everything has been said before. Everything has been thought before. How does your telling of your interpretation of it differ from previous iterations, and how does it enliven you in a new way? How does it have the potential to enliven those with whom you interact in a real and meaningful way?

    For me this book, this writer, and this conversation speak of having the freedom to disregard those pressing, but irrelevant, therbligs that scream and shout for my attention, and instead give me permission to work on what I feel gives meaning to the way I choose to spend my life energy.

    Life is too short to throw stones. There is meaningful work to be chosen, and done. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Love this, Janis! While I was reading your comment, one of our other MarieTV episodes popped to mind that talks about this idea of everything being “unoriginal,” so I thought I might share that just for fun – http://www.marieforleo.com/2016/06/feeling-unoriginal/

      I love your note about how there is meaningful work to be chosen and done. We’re so glad you enjoyed this episode!

  22. Tim W

    How disappointing!
    You have your own ‘copy’ business – you write for a living, yet you are unable to construct this conversation without employing debasing language . Truly a pity. Are you siimilarly joining in hate speech when engaged in conversation with those with an opposing view – ‘ because in special circumstances it allows you to breakthough the clutter?’
    Indeed I am disappointed, I expect more from you . You are not as special as I had thought, just another hireling

    Tim Wilson

    • Mary Jo

      I disagree with you Tim; part of growth is doing that which makes you uncomfortable. The message was clearly stated, that there would be such language and that if YOU are made uncomfortable, to not watch. You made the choice to watch so your disappointment is your own discomfort (see the first sentence). Occasional use of debasing language – especially when trying to take someone’s guard down – can be helpful to getting thru the clutter in their head to get to the heart of the issue/matter/problem so it can be dealt with properly.
      Marie – keep doing what you’re doing! ROCK ON !!!

    • Tim Wilson- you are extremely rude. impolite, to write such a scathing reply to Marie
      Where are your manners ? I can only think that you are a fledgling of a young man who has never learnt his “p`s and q`s. Your thoughts could well have been written in a more acceptable way. Now you would probably like to tell me “to FUCK off” “!!!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Tim, thank you for taking a moment to share your feedback with us. We absolutely understand not everyone will resonate with this kind of language, and that’s why we always include a disclaimer on episodes with “adult” language so people can skip those if they so choose.

      To share a little context around this episode, Mark’s original blog post and message was something Marie really resonated with, and there are some great takeaways in terms of the greater message about how important it is to figure out what we should care about and what we don’t need to care about.

      Mark’s language is his own vocabulary, but it’s also a deliberate choice to be shocking and provocative. We understand that doesn’t resonate with everyone, however it is a deliberate and purposeful choice.

      That said, it’s important to note that while we don’t mind sharing occasional episodes with “adult” language, there’s a tremendous difference between using the words Mark does to be provocative, and using words to hurt people.

      We don’t ever use or condone hate speech of any kind against anyone. We take a strong stand for extending kindness and empathy to everyone, and would never feature a guest who engages in that type of hate speech.

  23. Give more F’s: 1) How my kids are doing; I’ve probably given them a bit too much space since they’re adults and they could maybe use more mom-wisdom. 2) our biz – getting customers to buy our products is our life-blood and their doing so isn’t really a reflection of my ability, it’s a reflection of their needs.
    Give fewer F’s: 1) my ex – especially that he can’t handle being around me. That’s all his. 2) not getting a sale is a reflection of the customer, not my ability. I need to let go of tying my performance based on the customer.
    I’m certain there are a lot more, but these are the two (each) that come to mind immediately. Guess I know what I’m getting a few ppl for graduation gifts…..

  24. Oh man this is refreshing. My biggest issue is worrying CONSTANTLY about what people will think of me. Will they be annoyed? Angry? Bored? Will they think I’m crazy? Too emotional? Too weird? That shit needs to stop! My work is more important than that and I owe it to myself and the people I serve to stop giving so many fucks and just do the work, without stopping every 10 minutes to wonder what people will think about it. Thank you Mark and Marie!

    • I can tell you’re an artist just by your comment. 🙂
      Same here. Being an artist is frustrating, because you need people to like what you do enough to buy it, but not enough to influence what you do. Right?
      It’s a constant struggle.

    • Oh Stephanie I am the same! But lately I’ve been giving less fuck of what they want. Especially when I lost a friend of mine I realized that life is important and pleasing others will leave you empty handed …
      All the best girl, we’ve got this 😉

  25. Matthew McGuire

    Hi Marie my one thing I should give more time to is going back to college to get a degree in psychology because I feel i will be more fulfilled in my life. I know it is very difficult to graduate college but i need to have it so i can be more successful in my life. It might take me a longer time to graduate but I know it is possible.
    The things i must get away from in my life to succeed is listening to people’s feedback that I don’t need in my life because it has stopped me from doing my own goals in my life. I know it was difficult for me to say this in a comment, it is the truth about my life.
    God bless you all at Marie TV bye
    sincerely,
    Matthew McGuire

  26. I think everything in my business is important to me. It’s whether I do anything about it. The thing I do care about – but don’t do anything – filing. online or in a cabinet – my dropbox and file cabinets needs to be cleaned up.
    I shouldn’t care about the people who are unreasonable. Unreasonable people can not be influenced, so it’s a waste of time.
    Haha, I just uncovered something – I don’t want to say the “f” word but feel I should here to be cool. I’m not cool and you’ll get my meaning without it…so I don’t care about that either 🙂
    Business is business and overall, it’s money and systems – it’s probably my personal life that I need to let go of things or care more about people in my life and what they need.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Cathy, you can totally use the words “care about” and “not care about” instead of the F-word – you’re absolutely cool just as you are! 🙂

  27. Diane

    Focusing on myself to not give a F*CK with what’s going on around me that is none of my concern. But it’s hard. What advise can you give to help on this specific circumstance: It’s easier to not give a F*CK about people that don’t play an intricate part of our every day lives. The question is, how do you learn to not give a F*CK about the family member(s) that are constantly around in a close knit environment? Insignificant and sometime significant situations where it can cause a bad moment in your head and you have to push through the anger and say to yourself, “You can’t do anything about it, just move on…” but the scar remains and you really have to let it go to keep sane as others will just say say, “That’s just how they are and it has probably been forgotten on their end 2 seconds after it happened, so…oh well, let it go.” But things keep happening. I WANT to not give a F*CK but I also can’t stop caring about the headaches they cause.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      I so hear you, Diane – it’s always a lot harder to not care what people closest to you think. While I was reading your comment, a few MarieTV episodes popped to mind on a few different topics that you might find helpful, so definitely check these out for a few tips:

      http://www.marieforleo.com/2014/10/naysayers/
      http://www.marieforleo.com/2016/01/forgiveness/
      http://marieforleo.com/2011/03/people-wrong/
      http://www.marieforleo.com/2013/03/communication-strategies/

      • Diane

        Thanks for your reply Caroline, I’ll check them out!

    • Liz Charpleix

      Diane, I have spent nearly 30 years caring about what ‘my family’ say, do and think, even after ‘divorcing’ them by changing my name six years ago. (I use quote marks because although we share DNA, they don’t fit my understanding of what family really is.)
      Just last week, I finally wheedled out of them what the issue is that has made them actively and deliberately hate me for so long, and it turned out to be such a ludicrously tiny, utterly irrational non-thing, I feel as if I’ve lost 50 pounds!
      This episode of MarieTV is timely, as I’ve just, through the nasty final (hopefully) exchange with ‘my family’, discovered that all those F***s I’ve given over the last three decades were utterly wasted.
      So now I want to keep on my new and bouncier path by not giving F***s about them and their irrational behaviour, instead offering forgiveness and compassion to those people who are still tightly bound in their determination to hate me – from afar! (It’s a plan – I hope I can keep to it.)
      As far as giving F***s – it’s about restoring my faith in myself, and recreating social contacts which have gone by the wayside because ‘my family’ convinced me that I was incapable of social connection. The first three old friends I called were so joyously pleased to hear from me, I wondered why I hadn’t done it earlier; why I’d blindly believed what I was told by haters instead of testing the truth or otherwise of their assertions.
      I’m lucky in that, although we live near each other, ‘my family’ all live their own lives with only accidental meetings. It’s a big move to cut ties completely; people judged me for it. But it was worth it. Accepting unasked-for judgements of others is also on my list of banned F***s.

      • Diane

        Liz, thank you so much for sharing your personal story. You’re right. No need to waste time on the wrong people. I appreciate you taking the time to reply, it helped.

  28. Laura

    What if, what I’m giving to many fucks about has a big space in every person’s life: a mothers opinion. How do you balance not giving too much of a fuck with not being indifferent to someone that means a lot to you. I would appreciate the advice and/or suggestions on this subject,
    Laura

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s a really good question, Laura, and I can understand how it’s challenging when it’s someone close to you giving you feedback. Marie is a big proponent of listening to your heart and letting yourself be guided by your own inner wisdom, so it can help to tap into that when you’re feeling unsure. Marie also has several episodes on criticism that you may find helpful for this:
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2013/07/deal-with-criticism/
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2016/05/fear-of-criticism/
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2014/10/criticism/

      • Laura

        Thanks a lot Mandy.

        I will visit them all.

        I’ve been struggling for a while with this but I know, for sure, than when it’s over, I would have learned my lesson which I believe it is to accept myself completely, warts and all 😉

        XOXO,

        Laura

  29. My husband and I have wondered if it might be genetic, and jokingly say that our Give a Fuck gene is extremely active!

    Seriously, I love this topic and few days go by when I’m not involved with it in work or writing – usually under the guise of saying no, simplifying, finding clarity, finding your why … but giving a fuck slips out on occasion, too! 🙂 Like Manson says, we need to constantly question our assumptions.

    Personally I’m working on giving more fucks about the huge pleasure and regenerative power I receive from reading and journaling, and fewer about who might be disappointed when I need to turn down social or volunteer opportunities .

  30. Clarissa Evers

    Tomorrow I’m going to meet my 17year old daughter at youth welfare office. She moved out at the age of 15 after spending 5 months at a youth psychiary as she seriously injured her body and didn’t go to school. She stopped that long ago, now doing a successful job at school and decided to move again to our house to visit highschool, be with her dog, her family and her friends. She’s going out with a boy now for abt 5 weeks. After 3 weeks she wanted our permission to sleep at his home (also 17 years, living at parents’ house). We didn’t give that permission as she doesn’t take contraceptives. The teacher of the house she is staying phoned me and asked me why I don’t grudge her that pleasure. My answer was: they can do many things giving pleasure but I don’t want that hurry on that topic. Now I feel really uncomfortable as I exspect that tomorrow I have to declare in front of at least 4 people (teachers and workers of youth welfare office) why I don’t want my daughter who is also under medication to take hormons light-mindedly. I will probably appear as an overprotecting mother. But it is really, really important for me to see my daughter not taking too serious risks concerning her health. Thank you for your words as I feel much more couraged now. Tomorrow I am going to play the ‘asshole of a mother’ who doesn’t allow her 17year old daughter taking e.g. a 3-month-injection as first choice.

    • Ronda Gartland

      The hardest thing to do is to be the “asshole of a mother” who doesn’t allow her daughter to step into adulthood too early. She might not like it, but she will remember that you did this for her for the rest of her life. She will also be learning that she too will be the “asshole of a mother” one day. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

  31. I enjoyed the talk between you and Mark. Firstly I liked the way he deliberated about what to say before answering- this is important, because you will find that people who answer too quickly, have to rephrase their words, because they have not given themselves time to “chew it over” before giving their opinion.
    Regarding my own thoughts,, and ideas, it can be sometimes irritating to see that the other person is so entangled in his/her own opinion, that that person does not really listen to what you are saying, being so wrapped up in their own indisputable argument . There are always 2 sides to a topic, and one should always listen to both- perhaps one could learn another approach to a discussion. It often helps to have a humorous thought at the back of your head. It helps to “keep your cool” !
    I always enjoy your videos Marie, and look forward to your next.

    As always– love from Christopher in Denmark.

  32. I really want to give a lot of fuck about my business, understanding my clients needs, what kind of products that I need to be creating, impacting more lives.
    However, the mind always goes haywire because I am giving too much of a fuck about my old life that I walked out of. I cannot afford to let my old identity bring me down and feel sorry for myself. It is the past and out of it. I am not a victim. I have the power to change to my life and others.
    Just putting this here makes me feel good. Only today morning, I put a request to the universe to send me a message that is going to help me move forward. This interview could not have come at a better time. This is the message.
    I did so many videos, however, I stopped them for a while because few of my own friends did not like it. I cannot do that. Why the fuck should I stop because it bothered them?
    I have to be authentic to myself. That is the only fucking thing that I need to care about. I need to drive this point deep into my spirit, my body, and my mind.

    Thank you so much, Marie, for doing what you are doing and to Mark Hanson for not giving a fuck about anything but what you are meant to do!!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I’m so glad this episode was so timely, Jaya! A mantra I really like is “I am not my past. I am not the things that have happened to me. I am not how others choose to treat me.” I hope it’ll be helpful for you too.

      Not everyone will support what you do, though it’s especially hurtful when the people who you think will support you don’t. That’s not a bad reflection on you––it just means that particular thing you’re creating isn’t a good fit for them. We hope you’ll feel inspired to follow your heart and share your gifts in the way that only you can. 🙂

      Additionally, I wanted to share some of Marie’s episodes on handling criticism in case they’re helpful too: https://www.marieforleo.com/2013/07/deal-with-criticism/
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2016/05/fear-of-criticism/
      https://www.marieforleo.com/2014/10/criticism/

      • Thank you so much Mandy for your kind words and support! I am finding this new way of relating to others who are open-hearted and open-minded.
        Thanks to Marie for building this awesome community and showing the way for many like me. I can only imagine the kind of criticisms she might have faced as an early adopter to so many new ideas and concepts.
        I will check out the other videos that you recommended. Thank You again!!

        • Sel

          Jaya. Thank you so much for such an inspiring post. I can totally relate to with what you just said.

  33. 1. I try to give more fuck about what’s most important to me and that involves my relationships, creativity and physical activity. Essentially all the things that make me light up. I’m putting together an art show that combines all of those things but have been side lined by fear and questioning more than a few times. I keep taking steps forward but I am unsure if this new venture will be worth the shit sandwich:)

    2. Giving so many fucks about what other people think about a friendship of mine ending. I know that it was the right decision but the desire others have to fix it can be crushing and I will start to question my “goodness” or emotional maturity. I also have a real hard time with the ex-friends judgments on me even though I can see she’s stuck in a pain filled destructive cycle that no one can pull her out of but herself. It’s exhausting to care and I look forward to giving 0-fucks about any other drama involving this situation.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Taking care of yourself and doing what’s best for you is important and not something you should be guilt-tripped for. We’re sending lots of love your way and hope things get better soon.

  34. I’m inspired today to not give a f*ck about what anyone thinks. These are great reminders. I have a little sticky on my computer that says, ” I will find, see and connect with opportunity to grow myself & my business today “. This was one of those. I am bold. I am not certain. And I don’t give a f*ck! Thanks Mark & Marie

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Awesome, Mel! That’s such a great mantra. 🙂

  35. Wow, terrific Marie Tv!!
    I’m a writer and the one thing I should give less of a fuck about is the people who find tedious little issues with my writing; a grammar mistake, the fact that my books are a ‘little sharp’ in places and the people who are offended by some of the topics I tackle. I should listen to them and give their words consideration but not allow it to weigh too heavily on my mind and heart.

    On the other side, I should give more of a fuck (and give more attention to) the people who read my books at record speed and love them. My books are bold are that’s my style and I should give more attention to my audience and not my critics.

    Terrific post. As always, I will share it!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Right on, Michelle! Your work isn’t for everyone and the people who love your books are the lives you’re meant to make a difference in. 🙂

  36. JohnMoore

    I like adages:
    In the end everything will be perfect. If it’s not perfect, it’s not the end….

    It is said that God created certain angels whose only job is to put stress in our lives, so we don’t fall asleep and miss it.
    WTF!
    JM

  37. I’m already working on giving more fucks about my website SEO and thinking about what my collectors need from me instead of what I want from them. Thanks to Marie’s copy advice from a short while back I’ve changed my website to be cleaner and more collector-centered. I wrote an article about how to become an art collector and a soon-to-be published article about ways to display your art collection. And I’ve started a #stylingpopart hashtag on Instagram for people who might struggle with integrating specific pieces of art into their home – they can even make requests for which paintings they’d like to see styled next.
    Feeling inadequate for not having a normal job is the worst! I’ve only been a full-time artist for a year and a half, but I’ve had people treat it like it’s a hobby or ask why I don’t get a “real job”. I need to stop giving fucks about what is “normal” and what other people think about what I do all day. My family is taken care of and no one is being neglected so it shouldn’t really matter who thinks what of my career.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Exactly, Liz! And it sounds like you’re doing great! Marie has had some naysayers too, and this episode immediately came to mind as I read your comment: https://www.marieforleo.com/2014/10/naysayers/ I think you’ll enjoy it. 🙂

  38. Erin

    1/ i need to give more attention to LIVING my life. Right now I just chase kids, clean, cook, do laundry. I don’t actually have a life. I need one. Desperately.

    2/ I need to give less to what other people think of me. I work so hard everyday so people think I’m a good mom, a good wife, etc. it’s debilitating

  39. Jenn

    I love that we are using the word f$@k. It’s a powerful word, and I’m tired of being shamed into not using it. F$&cking YES!

    1. I would do so much better if I start caring more about my own happiness and personal growth than by sacrificing it to keep everyone else safe, happy and healthy. If it sounds cold, it’s not–they’re gown (just about) male adults.

    2. I’m learning to care less about what the haters will think; that they’re most likely railing about something completely unrelated to me and my work when they have something negative to say. (Not to be confused with sought after feedback or even opinion.) I’m making my art and facing my fear of vulnerability by sending it out into the world, weather I think will will like it or not, for better or worse.

  40. I would love to don’t give a f*uck about my family constant criticism… I have being doing work within me for it not to affect me, but it still does. It takes a LOT of energy from me.

    This is very related to my “at times” lack of faith on me and the things I can achieve, specially now that I’m changing career paths.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I’m really sorry to hear you’re getting a lot of criticism, Barbara. There’s an episode of MarieTV about handling criticism that may help (https://www.marieforleo.com/2013/07/deal-with-criticism/), though I know it’s tough when the criticism comes from family. We believe in you and we hope your new career opens a lot of doors for you! 🙂

  41. Heidi Larson

    I LOVED this!! What I loved the most and what I realize that I need to NOT give a fuck about is those “haters”!! I have been on this wellness journey for just over the past year and I have noticed those that were my “tribe” have turned into “haters” and I have been giving way too much attention to that. Thank you for pointing out that I need not give a fuck about the fact that I can’t please everyone… and that’s OK!!
    On the opposing side, I need to really give more attention (fucks) to being aware of what I’m really willing to go through that’s tough with that twisted pleasure. I have really been trying to focus on what my “passion” is lately and I was asked yesterday (as a matter of fact), “what do you love talking about or could you talk about for hours and hours”? … I’m trying to figure all this out, but I need to be more mindful of what I would really enjoy suffering for. Thank you so very much. I am a new fan of Mark Manson and I just put his book in my Amazon wishlist! Have a fucking awesome day!

  42. O M G! i just discovered his book and think Mark is a genius! I’m even sharing this with my teen and young adult children – they aren’t afraid of the F bomb (thanks mom) because he nails all of life’s conundrums in such a funny and powerful way. SO important to becoming the best person you can possibly be. so freeing to understand how we have been conditioned to feel inadequate. This book should be every grad students #1 gift. 😇
    PS i’m a bschooler and this really helped me assimilate the lessons you’ve taught me. Yay!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s awesome, Stephanie! We’re thrilled you’re a B-Schooler and we hope your kids like Mark’s book too. 🙂

  43. As always…Amazing! I never come away from Marie TV or B-School feeling anything but inspired. I totally give a fuck!! I couldn’t agree more with your interview with Mark Manson. The simplicity of the message resinates in my soul and has woken me up. I was feeling a little blue this morning and majorly scattered about my business…no longer! I have nervous about making huge changes to me business model for years…not good enough, don’t know enough, others are better; soul sucking negativity. No longer. I am on a journey that is just beginning and no longer rushed to just do it but do it with integrity, honesty and positivity!
    Marie I love what you have done for me and the countless others you have touched. Let me tell you how thrilled I am to have you in my life daily. You are a constant inspiration!
    Thank you!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much, Karen! We really appreciate you and are so glad you’re feeling inspired and uplifted. 🙂 It sounds like you’re on an amazing journey and we’re super excited for you!

  44. I loved this so much. I’ve watched Marie for a few years now, just graduated B school recently, and this puts things into another perspective for me. I stumbled at first on this idea of certainty being the enemy, because I’ve learned a lot about clarity and how crucial a clear vision can be to creating something real, but when I heard Mark discuss it in his terms, I get it. There is a distinction, I think, between clarity and certainty, which I hadn’t thought about before. I, personally, sometimes struggle with having a real, concrete vision, which is “clarity,” versus the unknown and being available to let the unknown evolve while maintaining clarity of PURPOSE rather than how it’s all gonna go down. I’m going to give more Fs about my business but more so the purpose behind it all and letting that guide me, and giving less Fs about what that looks like. Love you Marie (and Mark, you’re still kinda like a rockstar but like a nerdier version, which is cool!)!!

  45. I just decided not to give a fuck about how long it takes to complete a task that’ll provide great value to my customers. I kept looking for something that I could produce quickly to put out an offering. But “the good stuff” takes time, and I give a fuck about my offerings being “the good stuff” so I’m gonna take the time to create it.

  46. Loved this interview so much. Running my website is the struggle that I love. I love digging into the nitty gritty and figuring it out; the struggle is so rewarding! And I could not agree more about finding meaning vs. pursuing things that “look successful” or “sound cool.” Thanks for a great interview Mark and Marie!

  47. Lisa D

    What a great interview!! This topic is definitely one I think most people struggle with, obviously me included and some more than others. Brene Brown has a quote that I shared on FB recently that says “you can never do anything brave if you’re wearing the straight jacket of what will other people think?”. This totally came to mind and made me think of this after watching this interview. To me, this is probably one of the biggest challenges most people face in business or in their personal life – we’re so afraid of not being valued, liked, loved, etc. and it can be paralyzing. I can say personally, I’ve worked over the years to overcome this and bear this in mind anytime I am taking a brave step forward in anything I do or share with the world.
    So one thing I should probably give less or no f*cks about is people not sharing the same POV or caring about a matter that is hugely important (to me) – more around justice things, social matters, global matters, etc. I know it sounds ridiculous, but you know when you’re so passionate about something and feel so strongly about it but the person next to you doesn’t see it or is like, whatever.. that fires me up! But really, it’s not my job to change people or make them see something they don’t see. Of course I realize everyone has different opinions, thoughts, beliefs, etc. Just something that get’s me rattled every now and then.
    I should probably channel that energy towards the development of my business and focus on my behavior and actions and hope that the light and energy I give out resonates with the right people and those that it’s meant to resonate with! 🙂

  48. Allison

    Thank you Marie and Mark! Talk about authenticity with no hype. Loved it.
    Here goes: (ho boy. ) I should give more F’s about putting myself first, setting goals and then witnessing the fear and resistance and continuing anyway. I should also give more F’s about believing that what I have to contribute to the world is valuable and needed.
    In my worldview everyone gets respect until they lose it. I should give fewer F’s about archaic beliefs that displace a basic sense of decency and respect for all regardless of age and my worries about if I’ll face a firing squad for abandoning them. I should give fewer F’s about getting everything right before making a move.
    And I’m loving some disappointment panda. (I’m wondering if I’ve had it on my shoulder since I was a kid, cause I’ve been adored or pissing people off (simultaneously) for a very long time.)

  49. Sandy

    What’s one specific thing in your business or your life that would improve if you started giving more f*cks about it? Eating to live and having a colorful variety of healthy meals. I am consistently working out, but need to plan my meals with great nutrition value. As far as business, taking it to next level even though I just started my online business and staying on my A-game. (Thank you B-School)
    2. What’s one specific thing that you should be giving no f*cks about — at all? THE HATERS!! Haters are going to hate!! Stay away from the Debbie Downers LOL
    I read this book in the beginning of the year and my favorite quote is “What pain do you want to sustain? Everybody wants to have great sex and an awesome relationship — but not everyone is willing to go through the tough communication, the awkward silences, the hurt feelings and the emotional psychodrama to get there. And so they settle. Because happiness requires struggle. You can only avoid pain for so long before it comes roaring back to life.
    Thank you for a spectacular video and I love this book as it has help me to NOT GIVE A F$$$ what people say or what they do!! I already read some of the negative feedback about Marie language, but she already put a disclaimer on top of show. Marie continue being great and who gives a F$$$

  50. I’m making some business changes that some have questions about, but if they can’t come up with compelling counter arguments then I have to put them on the “don’t agree” side, with love, but not taking it personally! I’m embracing the idea not everyone is going to like me or my ideas and that’s OK.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Right on, Leslie! You can’t please everyone and that’s a good thing because it means you’re connecting even more strongly with the people you’re most meant to serve. Knowing what feedback is valuable to you and what feedback you’d rather ignore is always a good idea. 🙂

  51. Elethia Gay

    Wow! This is the 2nd video I watched on not giving a F**k. This is confirmation.
    1. I need to give more f**ks about my business and my daughter. I know that I have the talents and the abilities but I’m SO afraid about being able to stay afloat financially. I tried to keep my business afloat after my marriage and ended up in the same predicament of my childhood… no money (-$6 in my account) and piecing together pennies to pay rent. I wish I could give more F**ks about my business. As for my daughter, I have to do better.
    2. I should be giving no f*cks at all about what people think of me personally. I think that’s the other reason I have not relaunched my business. It’s simple (yet, not easy) to hide my failure to launch behind jobs, employers and even an “I’m friendly and happy” smile. However, what would happen if I said, “F*CK IT” and jumped?

  52. 1. What’s one specific thing in your business or your life that would improve if you started giving more f*cks about it? More advertising = more sales! My focus needs to shift to putting the same 100% that I put into my FT job into my business to increase sales!

    2. What’s one specific thing that you should be giving no f*cks about — at all? What other people think. The older I get, the less f*cks I give, because everyone else has their own motive, when I know what MY motive is without a doubt!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Hooray to both of these, Karren! 🙂

  53. 1. I want to give more fucks about setting my prices at rates that are sustainable and feel good to me. Some of my current prices make me feel resentful and like I’m giving too much away and receiving too little.
    2. I want to give zero fucks about the people who write me emails complaining that my prices are too high. I have taken on too much guilt for other people’s stuff and I have to take care of myself!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      So glad you brought this up. Being properly compensated for what you’re worth is vital. There will always be people who can’t afford your offerings, no matter how low they’re priced, but knowing your worth and charging adequately will help you take care of yourself and keep you from feeling burned out. You do good work and you deserve to be paid for it. There’s a MarieTV episode on how to raise prices: https://www.marieforleo.com/2012/08/raise-prices/ I hope that helps!

  54. I like this guy, he is an independent thinker.
    Thank you Marie and team for this episode.

  55. Olesya

    Thank you so much for such a great episode full of subtle details! Yeah, wrapping up uncomfy questions in such a fun manner is really helpful to finally get involved into this shit, to finally start asking all these questions!
    And a load more thanks for not letting go and asking to write a comment, I buy it for the second time, and I already feel the potential!
    I found myself living on autopilot most of the time and not really involved in my own life. And this completely sucks!

    So,
    1) I really should care more about scheduling things that need to be done. I don’t want to let people down if we already have something arranged. I really should let people know about any changes as soon as I am aware of them, and for this — yes! — I have to be aware. That’s why I shouldn’t give up on scheduling and planning, and that’s why I should think really deeply about what I am going to achieve and what tactics I should exploit.
    I should totally get aware of struggles that I do enjoy and the ones I should learn to enjoy (mind, this is also a possible option if integrated in the former category).

    2) I should not be stuck with the third conditional in my reasoning. The only possible way to develop is by thinking first conditional and acting.
    And I should let go of worries of misunderstanding. Yes, I might enjoy struggling to understand what someone wanted to deliver, and I do enormously enjoy binding the things together, but it’s hard work. F*ck it, no one said it is easy. And if understanding isn’t worth the effort — f*ck it, either.

    Loads of love and appreciation,
    Olesya

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Nice, Olesya! Marie has a great quote about scheduling that I think you’ll find helpful for your #1. She says, “if it’s not scheduled, it’s not real.” Meaning, if a calendar doesn’t have time scheduled out for the task, it won’t get done.

      • Olesya

        Thank you, Mandy! It is this exact phrase of Marie that I recall every time when something turns out not real in my life due to my poor scheduling. And this phrase does keep me on track.

  56. I just want to say that you have the coolest people on your show and I love that you share their messages with us through your platform. There have been a few people in particular who I discovered because of you through Marie TV and they have changed my life and thinking (Dr. Shefali Tsabary was a BIG one). So THANK YOU for being so committed to making a difference in our lives! It is working!!! <3

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s so wonderful to hear, Barbie! We appreciate you and are thrilled you’re enjoying getting to know the guests on MarieTV. 🙂

  57. Angela Carpenter

    I loved this Book, I recommend it to everyone.
    Giving a fuck about what your family or friends thinks about your life, personal or professional, I am giving the middle finger to.

    Giving a fuck about what I think about my own life-personal, professional and where my true heart is and wants to go, Yes, I need to give a fuck about that 100% and go for it!

  58. Donna

    I loved your convo with Mark Manson! He has a special gift of drawing people in, despite the sarcasm and language!!
    It would be beneficial for me to stop giving f*cks about what people at work think of me. I work very hard and am successful by being ethical. I don’t need – nor should I want my friends to come from work!

    And I need to give a few more f*cks about financial planning for the future!

    I can’t wait to read Mark’s book!!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Spot on, Donna! We’re thrilled you enjoyed this episode and have some great plans in place. 🙂

  59. Great episode! I’ve had clients who have told me how much they love this book.

    One specific thing in my life that would improve if I started giving more f*cks about it is training for the triathlon I’m doing in July. I’ve never considered myself to be an overly competitive person, so I’ve had the attitude of “meh as long as I cross the finish line it’s fine” which effects how often I train. Yet when I work out, I feel great! So by giving a f*ck about the importance of this triathlon and training, I’d reap the rewards and pride.

    One specific thing that I should be giving no f*cks about in my business is how many followers I have compared to other people in my industry. My following and brand has been steadily growing, and the most important thing to me is that I’m putting my heart into serving and being consistent. The other thing, as a new(ish) mom, for advice to other moms is to not give a f*ck about what every other mom buys or does with her kids! Your kids don’t need a thousand toys or to be in a thousand activities. This is something I need to keep close to mind.

    Thank you Marie!
    XO
    Alexis

  60. Bella

    I felt like shit after embarrassing myself at a roundtable discussion about my project. I felt insecure & embarrassed to talk about how big my project is in term of $ and how much fund I’ve raised. Instead of being proud of myself and the project, I felt like shit, small and insignificant. WTF! This episode came at the right time this morning. I shouldn’t give a fuck about worrying how other people think and trying to impress others so I can be invited at the table next time.
    I’d like to give a fuck to focusing more on how to add value to others, pay attention to their wants and needs.

  61. This video was perfect!
    You know that is a hard question of what to not give an F* about because I’m still in the early stages.
    Finishing school, starting a new business and negotiating what can be cut out and done at a later time so that I can refocus on what I need to get started and things that will benefit my life has been what I’ve been doing.
    Even though focus is my biggest challenge, especially building relationships across the board, I don’t feel that I shouldn’t care so much about focus.
    But what I would like to give more time and energy to is myself.

    I am really good at listening and caring about other people, just to end up feeling tired, worn down and unappreciated when I need a friend or someone to just be there. But I know that it’s not their fault and I shouldn’t expect it of them.
    It’s tricky though because sometimes (especially the past few weeks) when things I give my energy to are big and I can’t avoid because they are essential to my business and personal growth (i.e. finals and launching a website) and I need a friend, I don’t know what to do.
    I’m not sharing that energy with others or things that I can cut out. That little bit of time I try to negotiate to build relationships and a support group I feel is very valuable and it both hurts and is draining when everyone is to busy to communicate or care.

    In those situations I’m not sure how to not give a F**, but I do know that I need to put more time into myself because people aren’t always available.

  62. Cindy Lee Fairfield

    As an artist I believe I’ve mastered the art of not caring about what art critics say about my work. Art is personal, and unique to the creator. I give a f*ck about painting what is important and relevant to me, which is the only way to be authentic as an artist.
    The other side of the coin is more complicated. The world is a results/profits oriented place. I struggle with striking a balance between creative time and wearing my business hat. The two seem to be in constant conflict, sometimes to the point where I just don’t do anything. That is my constant struggle. I need to learn not to give a f*ck about other people’s idea of “success”. Why did I start painting? To explore the world and create beauty. But, I also want to share it…….
    What really jumped out at me in the interview was the part about being willing to endure the hard and inconvenient parts of doing what we love. A perfect reminder that anything worth having in life will always involve some degree of pain and sacrifice. There it is!

  63. That was hilarious! Easily one of my fav MF episodes. Ill continue to give a Fuck about contributing to others lives in a caring, thoughtful way, while not giving a Fuck about the haters who hate on everything anyway. ❤

  64. I am struggling to give more fucks about actually doing the “selling” part, because it’s the part I hate most. So trying to change that experience up so I am just having conversations with interesting people about stuff and letting them know without being all sales-pitchy that I can help them with their own struggles. I don’t want to have to “sell” it, but I know it has to happen or I won’t get anywhere.
    What I am learning by the minute to give less fucks about is my appearance/age/weight blah blah blah and just allowing my Wisdom Light to shine. That’s hard, too, but getting easier (thank you Carrie Montgomery).

  65. Sadly, many of the comments I read on the page were negative. Happily, mine is positive.
    Marie, thank you for this uplifting interview with Mark Manson. I’m getting better with age and gaining understanding of how powerful we are to create our reality. Taking time to evaluate, contemplate, and meditate our life, current situations and what we ultimatley desire is paramount to success that WE DESIRE.
    The f*** I want to care less about is financial success. I’m coming around to having joy in my work and giving to others be the success. And the financial reward is important but secondary. Like attracts like and I have an abundant nature that is being rewarded with a nice life.
    The f*** I want to care more about is heart based loving connections with all, including myself.

  66. Jackie

    Thanks for the brilliant and insightful interview with Mark Manson, it was excellent and I took so much away from it.
    One specific thing that I should be giving no f*cks about — at all? I ain’t going waste another f*ck on what anyone thinks about me, or what I think people think about me. People can think what they want to think about me, that’s their business, not mine and I don’t give a f*ck :-). I’ll tell you why, because I’m going to give more f*cks about accepting who I am, that I am enough as I am, although there are areas that I know I can change and improve that will make me a happier, nicer and more successful person. Thank you! X

    one specific thing in my life that would improve if I started giving more f*cks about it?

  67. this was a serendipitous episode today; I found it on Facebook just this morning, and I woke up feeling “cloudy” today – kind of down and on the edge of discouragement. I’m starting a new chapter of my life, a “2nd chapter” so to speak. Just this past weekend I retired from a 25 year career as an artist and am beginning a career as an inspirational consultant. I developed a course in mindset transformation. Now I am struggling with learning how to market my online course. So I guess what I give a f*uck about is my desire to help people through my course and what I need to NOT give a “f” about is the pain of trying to figure out the marketing. That struggle is my “s” sandwich I suppose which is necessary to devour to enjoy the work of working with people on mindset transformation. If I’m understanding the premise. And getting over my personal prejudice against the “f” word itself so that I could hear the message of the episode.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Congrats on turning over this great new chapter in your life, Linda! It sounds like you’re doing great work. We appreciate you tuning in. 🙂

  68. I want to spend more time giving a fuck about being myself and sharing the things that I am absolutely passionate about, things that help others value themselves and recognize how amazing they are. That’s really what I love to do. And I want to spend less time giving a fuck about how people view my work, how to have the perfect web site, how to make sure I don’t offend anyone. Because that puts me in a bind- how can I make myself and everyone else happy at the same time? I can’t! So what I want to do is to speak to the people who want to hear what I have to say- and- well. fuck the rest! Now I don’t mean that literally because one of the things I am passionate about is finding value and potential in everyone. But they don’t have to like me or agree with me. That’s difference I heard in this interview. Thanks Marie and Mark!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Exactly, Beverly! It’s definitely possible to still respect people even if they don’t appreciate what you’re doing. Know that you can make a big difference in the lives of the people you’re meant to serve, but that not everyone is meant to benefit from your work. You got this. 🙂

  69. I want to give more fucks about confidently finding ways to sign up wellness coaching clients in a way that meets them where they’re at and serves them in the highest and best ways possible.

    I want to give zero fucks about fear of failure.

  70. Melissa

    Out of the blue, about a week ago my daughter (a grown woman) and I decided to just start using the F word. Not to our customers, (we both have businesses) but when we talk on the phone to each other or send a text. When things get tough, we now just say “f**k it” . Or, “I really don’t give a “f**k” and so on. We die laughing too because it just isn’t us to talk like that. The great thing though is that it is somehow ” freeing” to use that word and just plain helps with all the frustrations and trials of life. It’s our new word.
    When I saw your video this morning, Marie, I couldn’t believe it. So perfect!
    Mark you are awesome and everything you said was so right on! Thank you so much for sharing. Will definitely check out your book.
    Thank you Marie for being the amazing person you are. We love you and all the videos you so generously give us.

  71. boris

    I want learn English good! You are the best Marie!

  72. Jeni

    I’ve been using the f word a lot lately. It’s a throw back to my younger days, before motherhood & other adult responsibilities. And it’s been during these 40+ adult responsibility that I somehow lost sight of my passion. So I’m giving a f about rekindling my passion to create and not giving a f about all the distractions that I allow to take me away from it.

  73. This Episode has the best timing ever for me! I will publish my first e-book tomorrow and feel sick about it. And i do, because i still give a f+++. To hear that i will be a joke AND beneficial is such good news. Thank you so much!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Congrats on publishing your ebook! We believe in you. 🙂

  74. D Viney

    I thought Mark was incredibly honest and insightful. I especially loved his honesty when taking a deeper look at his “fantasy of being a rock star”.
    More F**** and general bravery in my artistic endeavors and finding my audience.
    Less F**** about worrying how things will get done. I will get them done or I wont. No sense in worrying about it.

  75. 1. I don’t give a fuck about Facebook / social media.
    2. I give more fucks about the quality of my work.

  76. I want to give more of a f”xx”k about what could really be a career I want to being doing where I wake up and am delighted and satisfied with this career choice every day. I have not found it yet, but feel like I am on a path to do so, and hopefully will soon.

  77. I loved this episode!
    I could stand to give more fucks about the my own personal branding, and all the things that go along with that, like my portfolio and website, my office hours and location, and even how I handle administrative functions and prioritization of projects.
    I could give a lot less fucks about whether or not people are willing or able to pay what I charge, what type of design “niche” I should be in, and most of all whether or not I am capable of accomplishing those big fancy projects that clients have to take loans out to pay me for. If they trust me enough to go into debt for my work, I can trust myself to do it right!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Love it, Beccah! You do good work and you deserve to be properly compensated for it. 🙂

  78. I’m giving more of a fuck about being fearless whatever I do because building a business and bringing in clients, meeting new people and sometimes just getting out of bed is consistently a lot easier, more fun and productive without fear and worry.
    I’m giving less of a fuck about stuff from the past because I’ve let a bunch of it define my story and that story doesn’t define my future.
    I’ve been following Mark Mason’s writing since 2014 and was happily surprised to see him today with Marie. Thank you for being fearless to share his insights as they are bold and thought provoking. I laughed really hard when I read his first question in “7 Strange Questions That Help You Find Your Life Purpose”, about the shit sandwich, then was quiet because his insights are spot on. Thank you for this great topic and interview!

  79. Oh! Oh! Oh! I really need to give more of a fuck about making a difference in the world! I am building myself up as an online personality who promotes the incredible programmable MIND. To give a fuck about personal growth and how I can inspire, encourage, support people to go for their next greatest level of growth and opportunity! I love how Mark puts himself out there and doesn’t give a fuck what others think. I desire to get there myself.

    I don’t want to give a fuck about my past, my limitations, what I’ve achieved or not achieved so far. I don’t give a fuck that I feel like I’ve lived a “small life” so far.

    This interview was brilliant! Loved the article, I know I’m going to love the book. Thank you Mark Manson for being YOU!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      This is such a great insight! You haven’t lived a small life at all. We believe experiences and life’s detours are all a meaningful part of the journey that have made you the incredible person you are. Marie talks about this more in this episode (https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/10/feeling-behind-in-life/) and how to overcome that feeling like you should be further ahead. You’re doing great!

  80. This was really thought provoking. I really need to take the time to really think about what fucking things to care about or not. I don’t know if I should say thank you. You given me too much homework!

  81. I think I should give more of f*(*)()( about what food I eat. Sometimes I allow myself to get too busy and do not get organized to improve my diet.

    I only care about criticism from people who can express it to me in an intelligent way. If someone just starts complaining and pointing out every tiny detail that is the tiniest bit off…then their comments say more about THEM…..then my business.

  82. Pam

    I love the quote, “It’s not your business what anyone else thinks of you.” Not sure where I heard it first, but it speaks to me. As much as I think I don’t care, I do get my feelings hurt, on occasion, and I blame myself! I would truly like to NOT give a fuck about that. What I want to give a fuck about? Aging as gracefully as possible.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      So true, Pam! And that is a great quote––thank you for sharing it with us. 🙂

  83. Elaine

    I love the part where he says about haters will be haters and the importance of accepting this. I truly don’t give a fuck about what others think about me or what I do but I do encounter a lot of envious people, colleagues and even ” friends” who will always criticize and judge in my work environment . That irritates me to no end. I really need to find a way on how to respond to those kind of people.

  84. Amanda

    My safety, well being, hurts etc, caring about me more

    Less, what my parents partners and familys think of me or other people in general.

  85. Amanda

    This is so perfect! Just before watching this episode, I was blamed for a minor mistake my boss made at work. I felt really upset, but after watching this episode, I realized that my reaction was rooted in fear and deep insecurity around my own ability to act in the world. I am so afraid that deep down I am incompetent and I’m terrified of being called out as a fraud. So it feels especially painful when I am called out for another’s mistake and am asked to appear incompetent so that they can save face. I need to give WAY fewer fucks about how I am perceived in situations like this (which will be forgotten by everyone else in 10 minutes). And I need to give way more of a fuck about noticing and celebrating moments where I have done good work. These far out number my mistakes and I’d like those moments of success to be my narrative.

  86. Antonia

    As a Greek, I would like to say that Mark quoted or almost quoted Socrates, who once answered when asked about what he knew that: “There is only one thing I know, that I know nothing” (εν οίδα ότι ουδέν οίδα). And this question thing, ask yourself why, was his method to make people find out the truth about themselves or anything else they were struggling with and it is called “the obstetric method”. Thank you, Marie and Mark! (a younger greek philosopher)

  87. Keila B

    Dear Marie,
    Recently I’ve took the decision to make exactly that: focus my efforts on things that really matter and things that are REALLY relevant for me to achieve certain goals. My family, my two boys are always a reference: their needs and well being are always on the top priorities. And me, of course.
    If something looks like waste of energy, it’s because probably it is.
    If something looks like a long and stressfull battle, probably it really is.
    I made exactly this question to myself: “How life would look like if I just stop caring about all the little things that don’t matter, so i can have more energy to care about the big things that really do?”
    And I’ve been doing that for the last 3 weeks and I feel much better now.
    I thought that i was in the F-Worldland but i wasn’t. I was carrying too much and didn’t realize that.
    So it’s nice to read about that in here.
    It’s another sign of confirmation that we are really connected and that i’m going through the right way.
    xoxo, dear Marie!
    <3 much love,
    Keila.

  88. Daniel Francis Pereira

    Really like the title of the book. I put it on my to buy list, also the interview makes you think and look at life in a different way .Great stuff. Thanks

  89. Brenda Heins

    I was so excited to hear this interview. I have been reading this book on/off on my phone. I find it very refreshing to realize I don’t have to give a ‘fuck’ about everything. As a woman and a mom I find that somehow we are expected to do everything and we feel guilty if we can’t keep up. I have my own expectations that never seem to be met.

    So one thing I am going to give more ‘fucks’ is my creative endeavors. I love your show, Marie. I am so relieved to find someone else who is multi-passionate. I keep wishing I could concentrate on just one thing and excel in that. However that just doesn’t seem to be how I’m wired. So I’m going to just go with my own creative flow and hold myself accountable to being creative.

    And I’m going to give less ‘fucks’ about housework and redundant chores that don’t matter. I am going to make myself and my creativity a priority. My kids are adults now and my son graduates from High School in two weeks. I have put my kids in the forefront for 22 years now. It’s my time and I won’t feel guilty.
    Thanks for another amazing show!

  90. Tegan

    I want to give more of a fuck about the health of the planet, and less of a fuck about wearing a bra.

  91. Mimi Ghosh

    Everything. Everything would improve if I stopped giving a fuck.

  92. Dee

    Thank you, Marie!
    1. I really need to find my passion and invest my energy into exploring my areas of interest. I am a person who just entered the big 30 and still have no idea what my passion is.
    2. I am in a new country struggling to find work in my field and the people around me pass remarks about me sitting at home and doing nothing. I don’t know why but I have managed to find only mean people here who demotivate you and insult you outright. I am unemployed since 7 months and I had been trying my best to find work in any field. It becomes really stressful when you are not able to find even a part-time. On the top of it, I hear people judging me in their minds.I really need to stop caring about what these people think and not let them consume me.

  93. I just watched this video and it was the perfect timing. Thank you very much for sharing this video. Well, I was feeling depressed and giving a fuck about it-haha, because I had just published my first kindle book in English called Zen and a Way of Sustainable Prosperity, but no one had left a review on the Amazon book page. It is embarrassing because it is a book on motivational success philosophy and I am supposed to be successful. However after watching the video I decided not to give a fuck about my feeling of depression and embarrassment, and decided to start giving a fuck about what I can do about it.

  94. I finally FINALLY learned the magic of not giving a fuck what other people think about me last year. I wish it hadn’t taken me 35 years to get to that point… And also realize there was probably no getting around that. 🙂

    What I am giving a fuck about: my opinions about myself and my own value
    What I am not giving a fuck about: what other people think about me

    Not sure of who originally said it, but it boils down to this: “What other people think about me is none of my business.”

    Thanks for another great episode of MarieTV!

  95. Tahleah Murphy

    I want to give more fucks about my writing! The only thing that is consistent is that I’m NOT consistent. BUT I mean really gettin’ into the bones of it, I love the idea of writing in the early hours of the morning when it’s still dark, but I allow other work priorities to override on the basis I’m earning money, and excuses ‘I don’t feel like it’ …. There are times when I can get into flow and others not so much, anxiety and frustration creeps in and it’s all part of the process.
    What I would not like to give a fuck about is persisting with some of the work I know I don’t excel completely at and enjoy. This includes loss of income but I believe the space that can be created is far more beneficial. If it’s not in alignment, there is no point to justification…

  96. 1. I need to put a serious fucking effort into doing the work of making my business, my business.
    2. I need to stop fucking nitpicking every little thing that triggers my OCD. I waste so much energy.

  97. I don’t give a fuck about baseball
    I don’t give a fuck about the Super Bowl
    I don’t give a fuck about politics
    I don’t give a fuck about Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year
    I don’t give a fuck about the American dream
    I don’t give a fuck about 9-5
    I don’t give a fuck about fashion
    I don’t give a fuck about advertising

    I do give a fuck about my 94-year-old mother
    I do give a fuck about my beloved cat
    I do give a fuck about Israeli f0lkdancing
    I do give a fuck about my spiritual growth and development,living a healthy life and and helping others to live a healthy life
    I do give a fuck about the ocean, flowers and sunsets
    I do give a fuck about love

  98. I need to give more fucks to making money (something I’ve tended to give little fuck about and which has very much limited my experience of and my stepping into life) .. and to give zero fucks about what other people think which has similarly kept me small and withdrawn.

  99. Jenny

    Thank you for enlightening me about where my limited fucks in life left should go! I am not sure this is the kind of feedback you are after but here it is. I was curious about the original post Mark wrote and took a sojourn into Mark’s blog. From there I downloaded lovely ebooks (refreshing to have them without the hard sell of a product) and found a golden nugget moment from ‘Finding you life purpose’
    ‘As soon as you try to eliminate a thought or emotion, you make it stronger.
    The more you focus on an emotion, the more powerful it becomes.
    Negative emotions are like quicksand: the more you struggle
    to get out of them, the further into them you sink.’
    I have spent the last few weeks discovering limiting beliefs, dealing with negative emotions, and discovering all manner of woowoo solutions that actually conflict with my pragmatic being. I have dealt with this stuff before and it keeps coming up. I do not believe it is erasable. It is sooo nice to have someone state this – you cannot ‘eliminate’ these suckers…..they are there since childhood, burned into the brain for eternity, and they cannot be magically erased or healed. While I can comfort the inner child of my past she still feels fucked over and hurt, while I can positive self talk my way through a day those feelings and memories are still there…the not good enoughs still float around to attack when they feel like it. Thank you thinking mind but I have got this. I will decide what to give a fuck about 🙂

  100. Larry

    I’ve found that what appear to be some of the most glamorous jobs are in reality the least glamorous. In the past, I’ve been Director Of Operations for an annual event involving dance, music, and lots of fun. Many people were jealous of me. What they saw was me on stage. What they didn’t see was me during the other 99.99% of the time doing stressful, boring work to make it all happen. Glamor or fame are never good reasons to pursue a goal. What I’ve found is the only good reason is no reason; It simply feels right. My advice is to avoid asking “why”. Why is the little lie that leads to a mountain of mental garbage. Or as old Carlos said in The Teachings of don Juan…

    “Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. This question is one that only a very old man asks. My benefactor told me about it when I was young, and my blood was too vigorous to understand it. Now I do understand it. I will tell you what it is. Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same: they lead nowhere.

    They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long, long paths, but I am not anywhere. My benefactor’s question has meaning now. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere but one has a heart, the other doesn’t. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.”

  101. Larry

    Uchida: I haven’t met a child who said, “Oh, I am so outwardly happy.” Why should you be happy?
    Interviewer: Is that the basic circumstance in life, that you’re not really happy?
    Uchida: No, I’m very happy now.
    Interviewer: No, I mean in general.
    Uchida: Well why should you be happy?
    Interviewer: Because we all strive for it.
    Uchida: You strive for it because you are not. If you are intrinsically happy, why do you strive to be happy? Then you don’t need even to think about it.

    Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon
    “I spent my entire life making people famous. But there’s nothing about fame that I’ve ever seen that’s healthy. It’s something that’s very hard to survive and has no intrinsic value unto itself.”

    • Sharon "Smokey" Gray

      I’m going to have to stop at this comment and make a reply because, all of these comments are starting to become my meditation practice.
      I JUST WANT TO SAY…YOUR FREEING HUGE INSIGHT “HATER’S ARE GOING TO HATE”! Now all that time that was spent trying to figure out…what was wrong, is it that they don’t like me? Their expression makes me feel bad….Set me free why don’t ya????
      I don’t want to use the word F*ck too much, because it would loose some of it’s power and flavor. It’s like a secret society word…and rather a treasure and talk about our needing to be understood! Lol It’s not the word…itself…it’s the way you say it. I love you so f*uking much…so……much. Or “I don’t give a f*uk about this or that and the way your lips form, at that point. woops have i said too much….”A deep expression word that hopefully is used as a deep expression”. Onward

  102. Suzanne

    Thank you so much for bringing my attention to Mark Manson’s work and for interviewing him, Marie and Team Forleo!

    I want to give less of a fuck about what people think about my mothering skills when my son is being loud, shouty and angry in public (he has ADHD).

    I also want to give less of a fuck about people not understanding if I don’t have a “proper” job (and me accepting that I do not need a “proper” job if I can earn money from something else that I love to do).

    I am currently having a bit of a dilemma because I am trying to set myself up in business as a hypnotherapist (am also doing b-school) but I have just applied for a 20 hour a week “proper” job that I got excited about when I saw the ad.

    So… am I chickening out of setting myself up in business, or is it a necessity to have money coming in from a part-time job WHILE I set myself up in business? I haven’t earnt anything yet. It’s just that there will obviously be a lot less hours in the week to set up my business and do the hypnotherapy if I also have a part-time job (plus dealing with the kids, dog and household…)

    I want to give more of a fuck about actually DOING and IMPROVING in the work of hypnotherapy rather than just the background “setting up my business” stuff (which I enjoy but it doesn’t earn me any money).

    Thank you for your penny’s worth… 🙂

    Love from Suzanne, a Brit in Germany

  103. dechen

    the word struggle sounds heavy – i would like to replace the word ‘challenge’ feels an energy of enthusiasm – thanks for sharing – dechen – india

  104. Linda-Jane

    Mark was insightful and raw. His advice was helpful on a fundamental level that’s both practical and relatable. I’ll enjoy reading his book.

  105. Stephanie Forman

    Seriously this made me day! Asking the question why has really felt like a breakthrough for me. I’ve been struggling at work and when I think why on all of the situations that have been affecting me, why has cleared up so much and taken some weight off of my shoulders. Thank you so much for this post today!

  106. 1. I need to care more about growing my business even when it involves promoting myself.
    2. I need to stop caring about whether my ideas will fail when launched. If one idea doesn’t work, I can always tweak it or move on to another one.

  107. @IAmMarkManson
    This inspired me to draw Disappointment Panda, I now have a lovely sketch I drew staring at me of a giant panda in a button down shirt that is 2 sizes too small and slim tie much like I imagine door to door Book of Mormon salesmen would wear with a red cape. The panda is innocently waving and holding up a sign that says ‘You only have to prove it to yourself’
    My Hero!!

  108. The Shit sandwich is my mantra hahah I have new one …the dissapointed-panda !! love it !!

  109. Nancy

    I would like to give less fucks about earning money and always worrying whether I’ll be able to pay my bills (even in my off time) and I’d like to give more fucks about fucking off in the moment and playing and making art. My inner child longs to play and yet my inner parent is freaked. Wouldn’t it be cool if they could meet in the middle and just be an inner/outer adult who is balanced and happy, and everything would just WORK OUT? It’s not happening right now because I DO need to find a job, and I’m worried and scared. Fuck!

    • Betty

      Don’t be so hard on yourself Nancy, play the long game with art. Get into getting a job like it’s playtime or making art. Have fun with it. What’s the worst that can happen? You will worry more? Then, make art, any kind of art. Make art about getting a job, or not getting a job., read ‘Your Inner Critic is a Big Jerk’ by Danielle Krysa from thejealouscurator.com. I should think giving a fuck about being balanced is a stone around anyone’s neck, much less an artist’s. I hope you will give yourself a break, so you CAN create.

  110. Mandee

    First I’d like to say that I love this book. I listened to it first back in November, and since then, have listened to it four more times! It’s especially fun because I listen while walking my dog, so I am laughing out loud while out in the world, but… you know.. I don’t give a fuck! 🙂 Anytime I start feeling like EVERYTHING matters, I’ll turn it back on, and it reminds me that, no-everything does not matter, and to focus on what is true for me.
    As for your questions:
    1. I’d like to give more fucks about actually doing a good job, and getting things done! I am such a procrastinator. I always think, “this can be done tomorrow.” or “I’ll start next week.” Then I stay in the thinking/planning mode forever!
    2. I should not give as many (if any) fucks about what everyone else thinks! This is my life-long struggle. Caring so much what everyone else thinks of me instead of what I think of me. But the truth is… I don’t really know what they think. I am putting their thoughts in their heads. Rarely do people come out and say the terrible things I am so afraid they will say or think. And to be honest, I know it is none of my damn business what any of them think anyway.

    Thanks for this awesome interview, and thanks to both of you for doing what you do!

  111. simz

    wow wow wow this was something i desperately needed..@Marie Ur episodes always kicks me up,,n u truly are a the great motivation for me..thanks for sharing such life changing episodes…hope to get another

  112. Great topic, I realize it’s not that I’m giving too many FU*KS, the problem is I’m giving my FU*KS towards thoughts that have nothing to do with me.
    I try to guide my life by a quote I first heard a comedian say
    ” If you are not financing, feeding or fucking me, I don’t give a fuck.”
    But of course, this is easier said than done because I am human.

    What do I need to start giving a FU*K about? my business yes my online business, my mental and physical health, my relationship with my spouse.
    What do I need to stop giving a FU*K about? What my family and acquaintances will think about me not have a 9-5 job and a 401K.

  113. Els

    Delightful!
    I love it!
    No I want to read the book. Will the book be transelate into Dutch?

  114. I loved this episode! I have been on a journey to do just exactly what Mark is talking about! What other people think does not have that much effect on me! I just really don’t give a F*ck because what they think is always about them anyway! It is not about me; whether they think of me as good or bad, it is always about them! When I decide to embrace that reality I am always alright! What I do give a F*ck about is my intuition and listening to my heart to decide where, what and how I want to be in MY Life! Such a cool concept if everybody could get it! Thanks so much to you Marie for your contribution to my Life, you bring so many AHA moments for me! Thanks a bunch for having Mark Manson on…going to get the book! Blessing and Love*

  115. Deedee

    I loved this episode! I have been on a journey to do just exactly what Mark is talking about! What other people think does not have that much effect on me! I just really don’t give a F*ck because what they think is always about them anyway! It is not about me; whether they think of me as good or bad, it is always about them! When I decide to embrace that reality I am always alright! What I do give a F*ck about is my intuition and listening to my heart to decide where, what and how I want to be in MY Life! Such a cool concept if everybody could get it! Thanks so much to you Marie for your contribution to my Life, you bring so many AHA moments for me! Thanks a bunch for having Mark Manson on…going to get the book! Blessing and Love

  116. 1. Look, listen & follow the light. It is a calling from the Universe. I respect the Call.
    2. What other people say about me.

  117. BIG fuck yes to all the above! Very necessary interview and discussion.
    I need to read this brilliant book ;p

  118. I would add that there are no good or bad struggles… ultimately every struggle is our teacher, every problem sheds light on an important insight. For example: I am struggling with mites on my cat now which also seems to be in the house and on me, while simultaneously trying to plan a move and take care of two other pets and I am single & doing it all alone! This is a call for tuning into my sense of feeling powerless over life and it’s affect on me, and deep underlying fear (of the big move, of creating a new life, of being close to other living beings, etc). And, if I am truly honest with myself, I can see how I actually created this problem: TO GROW! I am NOT powerless, I have solutions at my disposal, most importantly my outlook and expectations about this situation. I have the opp to overcome a sense of being a victim to life and instead creating the reality and outcome that suits me better. (wish me luck, please! 😉

  119. I give too many fucks about what happened in the past or might happen in the future. When in reality I should be giving a fucks about what is right in front of me right in this moment. The things I can control, what I can actually do.

  120. Betty

    The witty Artur Plotnick wrote admiringly of the versatility of fuck grammatically when he saw handyman throw down a hammer and yell, “The fucking fucker’s fucking fucked!”

    Indeed.

    My list:
    1. I think my need to clean , clean and clean more is fucking fucked. As well as giving a fuck about clothes, clothes, and more clothes.
    2. In the category of ‘Can you please start to give a fuck?” I would say putting time into having social life that actually includes people would be a good start. Being brave enough to meet the guys who write me from Match might work, too.
    And. Of course.
    I really need to give a fucking fuck about finishing those fuckin Art Projects!

  121. Marie:
    I just want to say that you are an inspiration. I look forward to your videos every Tuesday and can always take something away from it. My goal is to one day become a life coach and help others. Keep doing what you are doing because I appreciate it.

    – Thank you.

    Sahony Natasha

  122. Janine

    Wow. This was such a fulfilling, realistic interview! Just in time for dealing with the critics in my creativity. Thank so much Marie and Mark. And FYI…just got the audiobook. Love it!

  123. Great episode and very thought-provoking! I went back and read Mark’s original article from 2015 – what a ride! I laughed, I cringed, I cried, I loved it.
    What to give more F’s to: 1) who my ideal client really is, and what she gives a f**k about so I can really serve her; 2) my relationships with the people I truly care about (which aren’t that many but they’re ones I ignore the most, isn’t that interesting?); 3) eating healthy, more balanced; 4) why the heck I’m here, my WHY.
    What to give waaaaaay less F’s to: feeling guilty about wanting to leave the people and organizations I feel guilty leaving. The ones who only give an F about me as long as I’m busting my tail for them. And what will happen to them when I’m gone. And what they’ll say about me when I go. Aaack! Too many f’s given!! God give me the courage to not give a f**k and walk away and into better things, better struggles and problems.

  124. Hmm.. I should give more fucks about my vegan bag line.. And less fucks about my weight!

  125. 1 – I need to give more f$%*s about creating my own projects and products as opposed to being reactive to what projects come to me.

    2 – I need to give less about unwarranted personal drama – the work I do is on behalf of children and families – not about personal dramatics.

  126. AWESOME interview! Thank You!! I never comment but I had to today! This was something that’s been on my mind and amazingly, it appeared in my inbox this week! Very eye-opening!
    I know I spend too much focus and energy on others and “being nice” and “doing the right thing” and making things “perfect” and if I’m being honest with myself: probably putting too much energy on being liked or accepted.
    What I WILL BE spending more focus and energy on is the many projects I’ve started and haven’t finished- on my dreams! They usually get put to the side for later…no more of that 🙂 They are very important and deserve my attention.
    Thank You again XO

  127. Samira

    Dear Marie and Mark,

    Thank you for sharing this message. What I find most useful is that asking “why” for every endeavor, for every work that we do. It is very essential to find out motivation behind every goal.

    There are small mundane things that I have to frequently care about which I normally don’t. For example, keeping my room and my house tidy. There so many small things that we overlook but those are important. Another thing is learning people’s love language (5 love languages) so that I can better connect with my loved ones. I enjoy writing and I have started work on my manuscript. I simply must write more than read. (I began reading lately.)

    I simply must stop listening to too many motivational videos. I get addicted to them, so inspiring, so motivational but also addictive. I simply must move away from the screen and actually do some work.

  128. Great share but for future reference…
    You don’t “hone” in on something. To Hone is to sharpen an object like a knife.
    You “home” in on something… Like a homing pigeon.
    Sorry easy mistake but one that I think you would appreciate knowing the difference.

  129. RITA MAZZOLA

    I just want to figure out how to give a fuck about my self. About my success, my self-worth, and taking care of me.
    I want to stop giving any fucks about selfish people with judgmental attitudes, what they think of me, and how they define success.
    I have been beaten down and made to feel worthless long enough. I am tired of being depressed and feeling that I’m not good enough.

  130. Lorna

    Well, I’ll be getter by then S book too! Lol. I say this s because I’ve purchased books from Maria’s guest speakers before and they’ve really helped me, (the books), personally.
    One thing I need to do more than of; would be to focus on what I want, what I’m doing.
    One thing I definitely need to stop doing more of; would be to stop comparing, which we all know is a slippery slope.

    • Lorna

      I better edit that! *Well I better buy this book too! Lol.

  131. 1. I need to give more of a fuck about creating content that clients find useful, that they can learn from, and rely on me for fashion advice. Besides feeling proud of my work, just knowing I’m making a difference in the lives of others is so helpful.

    2. I need to give zero fucks about how quickly other people grow their following compared to me. I’ve been a personal shopper for 8 years but my social media reach hasn’t been growing at the pace I’ve desired. Sometimes it’s discouraging going to Instagram but I have to let it go and just do what I do best, styling!

  132. 1. I need to give a fuck about numbers and charting my real progress as I tend to want to avoid that and then complain when I realize I’m paying everyone around me, (including the IRS) way more than I’ve ever made… and I’m a doctor. While I make a difference and love what I do, I shouldn’t have to be impoverished. I think one of the main reasons I am is because I have a belief that one must work very hard in life and will be consuming Top Ramen and Flavoraid because KoolAid is too expensive.

    2. I need to not give a fuck about what people think. There is an art to relating to people, finding things you love about them, etc, but I take it too far. I list everyone out and how I can find the best possible scenario in whatever drama I’m allowing to consume me. That whole realization that you will have people hate you feels like a knife because there’s an insecurity within me that dreads that they are right. I believe many people are craving authenticity, be it disgusting, grey or beautiful. We are starting to pass by the low maintenance fake flowers to decorate our homes as we work our lives away and stop by the seed section, realizing the cycles, dedication, disappointment and unsurpassed beauty of the living, wild garden.

  133. Toni O'Dea

    I’ve recently been working with my daughter on the art of giving f**ks where needed to help with her anxiety (after her Dr suggested your book) and in doing that I’m definitely reaping the rewards myself. I am certainly loving the fact I’m worrying less and “realising” more – my family and my relationships are high on my yes list, I’m listening to my gut instincts more often too. High on the forget it list is other people’s reactions to what I choose to do – I’m still careful with how my actions affect others but I am doing what feels right in my gut and standing behind my decisions!
    I do have a question…I work with many other people (women in general) and am now finding that because I’m “let that sh*t go” I’m noticing more and more that the people I work with aren’t, they hold onto stuff – how do I make them feel valued; that I’m listening and that they are worth my time whilst helping them move on and not give a f**k?

  134. Catharina Delmarcel

    More-fuck-worthy: people, living things, your health, anything that inspires you or brings a smile to your face.
    Not-so-fuck-worthy: social media, looking cool, status and doing anything to perfection.

  135. Larissa

    Thankful that Mark basically brought Buddhism to the mainstream – our natural tendency to have aversion to pain and crave pleasure. His new twist: finding and staying with “good pain.” Such a great interview!

  136. Maria H

    Hi Marie,

    Question, I graduated college undergrad with over 100k in student loans, private back in 2011. It is going to be two beautiful years now that I have been stable in working within a corporate career like jobs. Before it felt like as if I was still figuring things out myself. Today might still feel a bit like this, I am in a role with a team that my own autonomy and authenticity at times feels like is judge, argue with and even doubt based on the attitude, tone, and answers that I received from the people around me . I am part of a team that does not feel that I am integrated with the them and I am only needed on a need to need basis as a coordinator. My Boss at times is not in the office, and the other girls that I work with that are a step above my role take on a bossy/in charge like mentality over me and it does not feel good, specially, when we have not bonded as a team. This “reality” started about 6 months ago and I have been in this role and company for 10 months. My expectation was that this will change and the circumstances will improve, or I get better at not letting these sort of situations and comments and attitudes from others at work get the best of me *it does time to time. And lastly I am feeling highly strong about keeping my options open when it comes to work ?! . What is your advise/suggestion for me to empower myself while still at this role with this company and also not repeat this at any other job.

  137. I am working on giving more fucks about staying with, and embracing, the struggle towards becoming a successful in business (aka getting to profitability). I would really love to embrace accepting that more money does not mean less struggle. I know it doesn’t work that way but I still want more money. I am working on giving way less fucks about disappointing people and saying no to them because something that they want from me is not in my, or my business’, best interest.

  138. I think what I find most difficult is to not give a fuck what the people I love think.
    Family and friends have the best intentions but they also tend to be more afraid for us than they should and their fears tend to be contagious.
    When wanting to do something bold or risky (inside the limits of responsibility) and therefore exciting, I’ve found it’s better not to tell my loved ones. They’ll give me their opinion and I’ll end up doing nothing!

    • R.C.

      Amen to this sentiment, Paula! I can relate!

  139. Mark Manson is a very interesting personality, seems to be approachable from my traits, but he is more cheerful about his attitude drive, I learnt from him.

  140. Emma

    I would like to give more of a fuck about motivating myself to spend time writing. So often I get caught up with work and being tired that I don’t put enough effort into setting aside time to write.
    But I want to give less of a fuck about what people think of me. I am so caught up in what even strangers think of me, let alone people who know me, that I don’t want to upload content for fear of being laughed at. I will give less fucks!!

  141. I want to give more f’s about getting really comfortable with making a loving from blogging. It makes me squirm sometimes and I undersell and under estimate others knowledge on what a blogger can offer.
    I want to give much less f’s about what my parents think, I love them but every time I publish I inwardly judge that they will not support me or care about it. I’m trying to make this into a career, this isn’t my school play xx

  142. Jacqueline

    I’m going to have to give this some serious thought but I will figure out where to give less fucks and where to give more. I really loved this episode, it’s exactly what I needed right now.

  143. Brooke

    If the episode didn’t use profanity I would watch it. I appreciate the warning however.

    I am interested in what is covered in the video. Is it possible to share what is discussed in learning, ‘How you can’t be an important and life-changing presence for some people without also being a joke and an embarrassment to others.’

    Thanks!

    Brooke

  144. Mags

    Marie – you need a section underneath each video where you list your outfits because I LOVE what you’re wearing!!

  145. Nisha

    I want to be a writer, singer and dubbing artist. I don’t give a fuck to what people think about me when I earn only 8000 Rs a month

  146. Jay

    Simply Amazing.

  147. Oliver

    I wanna give a fuck about doing better at loving and no fuck about internalizing pain.

  148. Love Love Love these episodes!

  149. I LOVED this! I listened to it on podcast whilst I was walking, and it had me grinning to myself. It is so easy to take yourself too seriously and to worry way too much about what everyone else thinks. This made me take a step back, give myself a kick up the a** and get on with living and enjoying life and stop giving all the f*cks 🙂 Thank you xx

  150. Lorna Wood

    Okay. After watching this interview, it was like the whole conversation was speaking to me! So….I went and bought the book. I waited for the book to come in the mail, like someone watching water boil. Two days through Amazon and I was reading it. I could not put the book down! It is so darn good. Really informative information that speaks my language…and….honestly?, It’s changed my life! I’m not kidding here. So….thank you Maria for creating nducting an interview with Mark Manson and thank you Mark Manson for telling me like it is.
    I have now put this book at the top of my book list as the best book I’ve ever read. I’m going to buy a dozen of them and hand them out.

    Yours truly and sincerely,
    “I don’t give a f#*k.”
    Lola

    P.S. My new line is “calm down Amigo.”

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s awesome, Lola! We’re so happy to hear you enjoyed the book as much as we did. 🙂

  151. Sonshine

    This was awesome. I am a Christian and I know that if people knew I watched this I’d be considered some kind of Sell out. It’s ok. I kinda don’t give a f^ck. I learned somethings here that Ive always sort of known but gave too many f’s and I did not move forward with things. Now, I’m just going to do it. Thank God I watched this. Umm no pun intended. Woo hoo

  152. Great episode Marie! My experience is that if you’re doing something interesting with your life, unfortunately criticism is often a fact. Some people will want to help you. Others simply are jealous. And others will want you to fail. The trick is to figure out which is which. Which is obviously easier said than done. : )

    On perfectionism, I personally I quite liked the book “When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough”.

  153. Love it! As a business owner, daughter, friend, sister, neighbor….I’m always trying to please everyone else. Taking care of myself is so much more work than pleasing others….

  154. If I gave more of a f*ck about time and time blocking – setting tasks and not getting distracted I’d be a lot better off!!

    Stop caring what people think and self comparison! There definitely in the need to stop giving a f*ck category!

  155. R.C.

    I want to give more of a fuck about WHO and HOW I am being. Am I being loving? Am I tuning into my feelings? Am I honoring what I need to thrive? I want to give a fuck about being grounded in what I know is true for me and what I need to be my best self. I want to give more of a fuck about being grateful and being in awe of the magic in life.

    I want to give zero fucks about conformity and fitting in. This is something I struggle with. I feel like I’m so aware of what is “acceptable” or proper behavior and what is “weird”. I want to give zero fucks about physical appearance. I struggle with judging people based on how they look and it is something that I want to let go of.

    Thank you Marie and Mark for this wonderful interview! I will continue to think about and reflect on it!

  156. Hi Marie, what I want to give more fucks about is having fun and being present in my life, showing gratitude, and donating to my favourite charity.
    What I want to stop giving a fuck about is my toxic family members that I live with.

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      Hey, Qhawe! Being present, practicing gratitude, and donating to charity are all great goals. It can be hard when our loved ones don’t support us, but it’s often because they’re simply trying to protect us from pain or disappointment. While we can’t always avoid negativity from others, we can control our reactions to it. I’d love to encourage you to invest in relationships and activities that inspire and uplift you, and check out this episode for some more tips for dealing with criticism: https://www.marieforleo.com/2016/05/fear-of-criticism/

  157. Anna Mata

    AH! I loved this video of you and Mark. This has really opened my eyes up and got me 10x more motivated to work on my long awaited hobby.
    1. I always had a thing for stating my own opinion about certain things in my life I was/ am experience. That being said, I wanted to start my own YouTube channel in order to talk about these things
    2. the reason why i always put it off was because i was so worried about what other people thought. But over the past month, I am beginning to think more about what I want than what people think.
    This video is very comforting. Thank you so much for sharing this!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s fantastic, Anna! Starting a YouTube channel sounds like a wonderful creative outlet. It’s possible you’ll get haters anytime you put your work out there, but everyone does, including Marie. Getting negative opinions doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong or that your work isn’t good––it just means that person isn’t meant to be in your community, and that’s okay. There are others who are meant to be in your community. 🙂

  158. I really loved this. Marie, you always ask the questions that I’m thinking but haven’t articulated yet. I also love that you interviewed Mark b/c so many of ideas really resonate with me and his delivery – using humour to clarify more painful topics – is definitely something I try to do as well.

    Something that I shouldn’t give any f*cks about? I won my first award in a design annual that is highly respected in my field and the credits were misprinted. Instead of being credited as Creative Director, I was listed as Designer under two of my male colleagues, as if my poor, female brain couldn’t come up with a good idea without help. It was soul crushing. That project meant so much to me and it seemed unbearable that the world would give others the credit for it. I know I *shouldn’t* give any f*cks about it – and I’m trying – but it’s a long process. I’m trying to accept the anger I have about it instead of repressing or judging myself for it.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Teri, oh my gosh, how awful that the credits were misprinted and weren’t an accurate representation of your incredible accomplishment. I hope that some sort of correction or apology was made on part of those responsible so you can get the credit you deserve.

      That kind of thing can be tough to overcome, and accepting how you’re feeling is such an important step.

      We did a wonderful MarieTV episode on forgiveness, so I thought I might pass that along as it’s been a great resource for me personally: http://www.marieforleo.com/2016/01/forgiveness/

      Thank you so much for tuning in with us!

  159. Both Mark’s and Sarah’s books are very good. However, what’s the point of just not giving a f**k if you don’t know why you were giving a f**k in the first place?
    Obviously I am biased as I’ve written a book about it, but I can’t help but feeling this was a limit for both books. Especially when it comes to long term results, I am sure understanding the reason for caring too much about something is crucial 🙂

  160. Sarah

    Acouple parts of this interview literally made my jaw drop because it felt like someone was finally understanding exactly what was happening in my head and life! I’m a little conflicted on one point though. So, the reference about dreaming of being a rockstar but realizing you actually don’t enjoy the work that comes with it, and not being able to choose a career path because you’re paralyzed by the idea that you could do so many things… basically what I took from Mark was that he chose writinf because that is what came naturally and he actually liked doing. So the lesson would be to figure out what you actually like doing, as opposed to just what you think sounds like a good job. However so many times I have heard Marie say that anything great you achieve comes with being uncomfortable, and finding that success etc. means pushing through those bits you don’t enjoy…. so that feels contradictory to me. Which is it? Find what I naturally enjoy or take a risk and suffer through something uncomfortable in the hopes it feels good later? Thanks for listening!

    • Hailey - Team Forleo

      Hi Sarah! We’re so glad Marie and Mark’s conversation sparked some great ideas for you– thanks for bringing up such an awesome question. You’re definitely on the right track with pursuing the things you love, but at the end of the day, even “dream jobs” are jobs and they require hard work, focus, consistency, and flexibility. So often we approach decisions by thinking about what we “should” do, so Mark is suggesting we try the opposite and start by doing what we love and seeing what doors may open. Marie shares a bit more about this in another episode of MarieTV that you may enjoy: https://www.marieforleo.com/2016/02/safe-or-inspiring/

  161. Thank you for reminding me to go through my list of current projects with “Why?” in mind! I have a lot on this list that fall under building my business / getting more clients…maybe too many. Need to take the why deeper. What a fucking RELIEF to realize I don’t give a flying fuck about one of the networking groups I’ve been going to!!! I’ve got better things to do!

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