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There just ain’t no love. We just get right into it, don’t we? What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me.
Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV. The place to be to create a business and life that you love. Now, if you’ve got some bad habits that just keep derailing your success and you are ready to break them for good, this episode, my friend, is a must watch.
Now, here’s why we’re talking about this. A few weeks ago during a company meeting someone asked for some ideas to break a late night cookies and ice cream habit. This person said, and I quote, “It’s like I turn into a child at 9 PM and I have to have my cookies and my ice cream before bed. This needs to stop.”
And, I mean, I could relate. I don’t think that there’s any human on the planet who, at any given time, doesn’t have at least one habit that really needs to get kicked to the curb. Well, it turns out that there’s a simple two word fix that can dramatically increase our ability to resist temptation and it gives us a better chance to make a better choice.
Now, this is based on research done by Dr. Vanessa Patrick. She’s a professor of marketing at the University of Houston who published her findings on the power of self talk in the journal of Consumer Research.
She found that when participants framed a refusal as “I don’t,” for instance, “I don’t eat chocolate cake” or “I don’t eat sugar,” instead of “I can’t,” they were more successful at resisting the desire to eat unhealthy foods or skip the gym. In fact, they found that when it came to deciding whether to eat certain foods, saying “I don’t” was nearly three times as effective as saying “no” about about eight times more effective than saying “I can’t.”
Very interesting, right? I don’t versus I can’t. Two teeny tiny words that can make a ginormous difference. And here’s why. When we say “I don’t,” we are empowered. We’re determined. We are at choice. It’s a tough, strong phrase like, end of story.
But when we say “I can’t,” we disempower ourselves. It sounds like we’re not allowed to do something by some outside force. You know what? We make ourselves feel deprived when we say “I can’t.” And in essence, we make ourselves weak, whiny little b**ches like, “Wah, I can’t have the cookie.”
Now, what’s even cooler though is we can tuck this little trick into every corner of our lives. We can start making some clear, strong declarations, like this.
I don’t eat Skinny Pop every night.
I don’t look at my phone during dinner.
I don’t necessarily tjuz the MarieTV set.
I don’t put the toilet seat down.
I don’t refer to everyone whose name I don’t immediately remember as Chimichanga.
I don’t show up to the set of MarieTV nude starting tomorrow.
I don’t stay up until 3AM watching bear attack videos rubbing fried chicken all over my thighs.
I don’t say no to new experiences.
I don’t shave.
Pretty awesome, right? And if you ever forget about this little two word miracle I want you to power up this tweetable.
When you need the strength to resist a bad habit, I don’t is stronger than I can’t.
Now I would love to hear from you. Okay, what’s the one habit that, if you’re super duper honest with yourself, is derailing your success or your happiness? Is it eating a certain food, is it checking social media when you should be writing or creating? Is it binge watching some just dumb stuff on Netflix all night long?
No matter what it is, in the comments below tell me what, as of this moment, you will no longer do using the phrase “I don’t.”
As always, the very best conversations happen at the magical land of MarieForleo.com, so head on over there and leave a comment now.
And once you are there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF Insider. You’ll get instant access to a powerful audio training I created called “How to Get Anything You Want.” It’s really good. You’re also gonna get some exclusive content, special giveaways, and personal updates from me that I just don’t share anywhere else.
Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world does need that very special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.
I don’t frequently tell Zach to sit directly on top of this.
Yay! You got breakfast!
I don’t make my team dress up.
I don’t say no to Marie.
Like the bass jelly just gets to settle. Alright. The jiggle gets to settle.
I don’t even know the meaning of the word no.