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Bam. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Coming at you. Ding!
Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. Now, if you’ve ever lost motivation because you’re afraid your dreams are just too unrealistic, this one is for you. Today’s question comes from Bree who writes:
“Hey, Marie. You’re such an inspiration. I so respect your advice.” Thank you. “Here’s my situation. My whole life I’ve had big dreams and lots of ambition, then this little word started to pop up from people around me: unrealistic. For example, I wanted to work in publishing and was told that was unrealistic. There were so many obstacles and so few jobs. However, I now work for the second largest publishing company in the world. But there’s a new dream I want to pursue and I can already hear the cacophony of voices in my head insisting this dream is unrealistic. A certain level of realism is necessary, but too much can create self doubt. So Marie, how do I handle not only hearing from others how unrealistic my dream is, but also not let myself drown out my own desires? Thank you so much. Bree.”
I love this question so much, Bree. Every single one of us who both dreams and creates things faces voices of dissent both from people that we know, from people that we don’t know, and very often the most deadly comes from within. And if we don’t take a thoughtful, conscious approach to taking on our unrealistic dreams, they just ain’t gonna happen. But if you are up for the challenge, and I think you are, here are five steps that can help.
Step number one is frame your dream, and here’s what this means. We can’t become what we can’t envision. So when I say frame your dream, what I mean is I want you to take a picture of it in your mind’s eye in vivid, specific detail, and then what I want you to do is translate that picture into words, meaning write down that big, unrealistic dream. And I know that you may have heard about the power of writing things down before, but the truth is, most people just don’t do it, which is so crazy because the research is conclusive on this. There was a study done by Dr. Gail Matthews that shows that you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. So what I want you to do is whip out your journal or hop on that keyboard and get writing.
Step number two is filter opinions and fend off negativity. You’ve got to take responsibility for the energy that you allow in your life. I want you to fend off negativity as much as humanly possible. You know, we know so much more about the brain than we did just 20 years ago. Neuroscience has taught us incredible things like that our brains are continuously shaped by our thoughts and our experiences, and you know this to be true. I mean, negativity is one of the most toxic forces on the planet. It’s toxic for your brain, for your nervous system, and for your ability to stay motivated. So do me this favor, okay? Do not solicit or listen to the opinions of people who are notorious for just being Debbie Downers. The one mistake that I’ve seen people make consistently is they almost habitually talk to the exact person who is the most likely to shoot them down and make them feel like crap. So don’t do that.
And here’s another key, I want you to always, always, always consider the source, meaning don’t put a lot of stock into other people’s opinions unless they’re actually out there consistently taking risks and being brave and actually making things happen. I mean, if you think about it, let’s say, I don’t know, you wanted to climb Mount Everest. Would you ever take advice from someone who’s never even attempted the summit? No, of course not. That would be crazy. So don’t take advice from anyone unless you really think it though.
And I want you to ask, has this person achieved an unrealistic or impossible dream? Are they taking meaningful risks on a consistent basis? Do you admire who they are, how they live, and what they contribute? If not, do not use them as a sounding board for your idea.
Step number three is flood yourself with positive examples. So once you’ve removed the negative outputs as best as you can, step number three is all about feeding your mind and surrounding yourself with positive stories on a consistent basis of other people who have achieved unrealistic dreams. So think about Helen Keller, for example, who was blind and deaf by the age of two, yet with the help of teachers she created this extraordinary literary career writing hundreds of speeches and essays and books. And there are thousands of biographies at the library or even on Netflix. And the great thing that I love about biographies is you also get a chance to witness other people’s stumbles and their falls and all the failures that they experience along the way. Which, of course, stumbles and falls and failures, those are inevitable for all of us. And, you know, it’s worth noting that just about anyone whose achievements are worthy of a biography or a documentary probably had an unrealistic dream. So do this for me, feed your mind examples of people who speak out and stand up for what they believe in and make change happen.
Step number four is fast forward. So if you’ve watched this show for any amount of time you know this, I love end of life studies. And here’s what we know for a fact, when you’re on your deathbed, you couldn’t care less about what anybody who says your dreams are unrealistic says. I mean, Bronnie Ware’s research tells us this very, very clearly that the single biggest regret people have when they’re about to pass is this: I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
So Bree, my friend, stop worrying about what other people might think or say about how unrealistic your dream is. It really does not matter. The only thing that matters is what you do about it now.
Step number five is focus on action. So this, my friend, is the most important step of all. Action is the antidote to fear and you don’t have to take perfect action, you just need to take any action. Brick by brick, inch by inch, step by step, that is how all great things are achieved. And you know my mantra, I believe everything is figureoutable. And the best way to figure anything out is through action based learning. So one more thing before we wrap up, Bree. Unrealistic dreams are totally where it’s at. That’s where all the growth and the excitement in life comes from. After all, what other kind of dreams are there? Dreams like this?
Marie, you will not believe the dream I had last night. So reasonable. I’m shopping, I’m getting all my normal vegetables, but they didn’t have avocados. I asked the manager, he brought me some from the back. So realistic. So inspiring.
Wow, that sounds inspiring. I mean, you can do that. I think… I think you can make that happen.
So Bree, there you have it. Five steps to help you bring your unrealistic dreams to life. And if you ever start to waver, remember this tweetable.
If someone tells you your big dream is unrealistic, that’s a sure sign you should go for it.
That was my A to your Q, Bree, and I really hope it helps. Now I would love to hear from you. What unrealistic dream are you working to bring to life? And what, if anything, has been stopping you?
Now, as always, the best conversations happen at MarieForleo.com, so head on over there and leave a comment now. Once you’re there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF insider. You’re gonna get instant access to a powerful audio training called How to Get Anything You Want. You’ll also get exclusive content and special giveaways and personal updates from me that I just don’t share anywhere else.
Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.
Wow. Mister international. You and Pitbull.
Get buck buck wild. Reel it on in.
I had to do it. I needed to just get it out. I love you guys. Okay.