Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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Do you ever wonder if you’re too sensitive?

Maybe people have said, “You need to get a thicker skin,” or it’s simply something you repeatedly say to yourself. Particularly on those days when conflict, criticism or other people’s negative energy makes you feel like you got punched in the gut.

Sensitivity is a sign of strength. It’s not about toughening up, it’s about smartening up. Click To Tweet

As a highly sensitive person, this has been a recurring theme in my life. And in today’s episode, you’ll learn how to make your sensitivity a gift instead of a setback.

Because I honestly believe my ability to feel things deeply is one of my greatest strengths. It’s what allows me to do the work I do in the world. And it’s taken me quite some time to figure how to really leverage that gift, while mitigating the downside.

My hope is that some of what I’ve learned might help you, too.

Now, I’d love to hear from you. If you consider yourself a sensitive person, what are some of the practices you use to stay both open hearted and strong?

Remember to share as much detail as possible in your comment as thousands of incredible souls come here each week for insight and inspiration. Your share may just be what someone else needs to have a breakthrough.

Because feeling things deeply and fully is a beautiful, rare and precious gift. It connects us to the core of our humanity, and to each other.

Important: please share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be deleted as they come across as spammy.

Thank you so much for continuing to make this such a bright space heartfelt connection on the internet. I appreciate you.

P.S. If you have any sensitive souls in your life — please forward them this post. It’ll give them tools to embrace who they are, rather than think there’s something “wrong” with them.

With all my love,

XO

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347 comments

  1. I’ve dealt with some really badass circumstances so my own sensitive soul really appreciates this a lot! I started my day today with TED talk videos and it absolutely shifted my groove then I bounced to my essential oil diffuser, put some surrender in there cause I realized I am so oober focused on my own expectations. Considering the source of where these beliefs or remarks are coming from really opened my eyes especially taking on a network marketing position because it’s so easy for people to hate on stuff if it is shaded in “conspiracy” but I am totally stepping into my own power more and more. GREAT advice, seriously!

    • What a great way to start the day! I’ve incorporated TED talks as part of my morning routine as well for a few months and feel the difference. Being inspired and learning in the morning has been such an energy shifter!
      Keep owning that POWER!

      • TED talks! What a great way to start the day! I was starting my days with a yoga class, thinking that would be the best way to get centered for my work. Instead, it was more a social hour for some and gossip and negative energy followed. Nothing was directed at me, but I was so sensitive to it that I couldn’t get myself back on track and centered until the middle of the afternoon. I recently quit the class, but haven’t started a new routine to set my day off right. Thanks for sharing yours! Will start it now:).

        • Teri – hope you find as much value in it as I have. There are so many good ones out there too and I’ve just plopped my phone or iPad next to the sink while brushing my teeth and putting on the makeup. It’s a great time keeper too knowing they are only 10-20 minutes, I know if I’m running late if I’m still getting ready after they’re done. Best wishes!

        • Teri,

          Yoga is a beautiful morning ritual, and I’m sorry you were thrown off by a negative environment. I practice yoga using gaiamtv each morning. You can find beautiful lessons for every level and length of time.

          Best,
          Alana

        • Lana, hi !

          I’m in LOVE with TED talks so much, I actually just wrote an article on my devotion (waiting for it to be published..:) Every one is a journey.

          • Natalia – YES! I’ve found myself in writing mode after each one. It’s lighted the fire for so many topics for blogs!

      • Shirley

        This is an excellent idea that I can definitely use to start my day in a positive way. Thanks for sharing!

    • Jen

      Love, love, love the idea of a Ted Talk in the morning! Going to have to incorporate that one for sure!

    • Bernard, I love your style of morning routines AND I love the essential oils!

  2. I’ve said it so many times before and I’ll be saying it forever: Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) has helped me work through the whole gamut of emotions.

    I can be pretty sensitive. What I’ve learned is to acknowledge how I feel and work through the emotion. Once I do that, the emotional charge is gone and it allows me to see things from a different perspective. I can find the lesson in it whereas before I couldn’t see past my hurt feelings.

    This hasn’t been easy, but the more often you do it, the easier it is to get yourself to the other side of the issue. I hope this has been helpful. 🙂

    • Yes! I just used that this morning. Tapping is so great! I started to feel worried and then I sat down and tapped for awhile about the worry. Feeling much better.

      Now, I got some work done and I’m on to the next step of self care, an Epsom salt bath. I find that it really helps me to relax and clear away any negative energy that I’m still holding in my body.

  3. Can definitely relate to this. I refer to myself as a soft-shelled soul. I’m extremely sensitive which I used to think was an issue. It’s not. It’s a gift that allows me to be compassionate. In order to foster that, I definitely engage in all the practices Marie mentioned.

    I especially think the “feel it to heal it” is key. Denial never benefits anyone. I try to be mindful and take that extra pause. I try to understand what the moment is offering me and keep it moving.

    It takes practice not to get caught up in the vortex of emotion, but it’s incredibly important to remember that emotions are none other than sensors to help you realign.

    • Emelia,
      you’re so right, and Marie you’re so insightful!
      Every Tuesday I can’t wait to read what’s inside for me, that I can share and use to improve my life.

      As you said Emelia, denial never benefits, it just pushes things away for one moment, then negative feelings come back stronger than before. So yes, feeling it all is the key!

      Marie, I especially appreciated your first tip, because not losing my time on worthless things is one of my focuses every morning, but I’ve always confined it to “productivity”! Well, it comes out it’s really a smart strategy to bypass the negative feelings that will possibly hurt my feelings and push me down. Thank you!

      We’re such a lovely community 🙂

      • Have to agree with you, Anna. This is a lovely community. One of my faves by far. 🙂

      • I really love that too, on starting your day smart. I sometimes get distracted by Instagram/emails, but by starting intentionally (meditation & yoga for me) I have such a better day. You kinda highlighted the fact for me that I need to start my day smart!

    • I love that you refer to yourself as a ‘soft-shelled soul’, Emelia. It took me a really long time to accept the fact that I’m not as “hard” as I portray myself to be and that it’s actually okay that I’m a sensitive person. Negative energy affects me like whoa so I need to spend a lot of time meditating and moving it through my body in order to realign.

      I resonate with what you said about denial never benefitting anyone. I think that’s so true. When we deny our emotions, we’re just stuffing them down and as a result we’ll end up projecting them back on to another person. All in all, not a great way to move through the world.

      • Same here, Demetria. But now I can’t get the song “Like Whoa” outta my head! lol

    • I love that phrase, “soft-shelled soul” Haha!

      I am also very sensitive and felt for most of my life that I was weak or stupid for being impacted so much by what goes on around me. Finally, I have learned some ways to “smarten up” as Marie said, and I’ve also learned how my sensitivity can be a gift to me and others instead of a burden.

      And, I agree with you. The “feel it to heal it” is my favorite tip from this episode. I’ve been going through some tough family stuff lately that is bringing up lots of emotions and I’ve been letting myself feel it all. Remarkably, it passes on through pretty quickly. So glad I learned this!

      • Me, too, Delight. I thought it was weakness but now I’m so grateful for it.

      • Delight, I’m with you in using tools around family. Even when I think I’ve gotten great at recognizing and clearing out energy that is not helpful, being near family members can trigger so much! I’m now thankfully able to get through it smarter and much faster 🙂

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      “Soft-shelled soul” is my new favorite phrase! It’s perfect for how so many of us feel sometimes. And you’re right–being sensitive is a gift because it is a gateway for compassion and empathy. Although sensitivity gets a bad rap sometimes, it’s a beautiful thing to have. <3

      • Hey, Mandy. There are so many of us SSS’s out there. 🙂

        • Shari

          I’m a SSS… sadly to the extreme. Mostly from work… Being left out is a big thing for me and when it happens I wonder “what have I done” sometimes it’s an oversight sometimes not and the hurt from that is so big. I try so hard, maybe too hard so people like me. Not sure how to deal sometimes.

          • I hear you, Shari. Think I spent my first 30 years desperately wanting to be “included.” There’s still remnants of that feeling from time to time. But now, I just am who I am. I don’t have to strategize to make people “like me.” And if they did, they’d be “liking” who I was pretending to be so it still wouldn’t be me. All I want to do these days is what feels right to my soul and let it attract what *needs* to be there. (((hugs)))

  4. Hi Marie,
    Thank you so much for this conversation. I am a very sensitive soul and really feel things on a deep, deep level. It can be so hard to work through emotions especially when they’re painful. I used to ignore and repress and believed I was so strong, but being “strong” literally unraveled my life. Over the past 3 years (since I started Bschool) I’ve been slowly unpacking my life and facing the dark fears and hurts of my past. It’s hard. Really hard. It unravelled like a cyclone and I’ve had to restructure my entire inner “mechanisms”. I’ve lost a lot in the wake of the storm I let loose, but I know that in the purge I am coming through clean. I’ve just entered what I can only explain as a polishing phase for this chapter of my life. I am learning to let go and stop trying to control how others treat me. Or even control how I feel. I’m learning to allow myself to feel pain, but not linger there. I know this is a life long journey, but I’m finally ready to face my fears. Prayer and meditation everyday is my biggest help. The harder the day the more prayer and meditation. It really helps. I have begun to allow myself to feel love and not have to earn it or expect it. I am loved and I am love. Thank you for your role in my journey. Much love!!

    • Beautifully said, Shana! I can’t imagine life without the many tools–including prayer and meditation–that help me navigate the tough stuff. I’m no longer intimidated by the thought that I’m on this journey for life! Doesn’t feel like a sentence, but instead an opportunity for growth, for opening my heart. Helps to read of your experiences. Thank you.

    • Elizabeth

      Read Elaine Aron’s book “The Highly Sensitive Person”. She also wrote “The Highly Sensitive Child”, and The Highly Sensitive Person in Love, among others. There’s also a documentary being made about highly sensitive people.

      The books will be an eye opener for you and you’ll get a better understanding of yourself. That’s what happened with me and it changed my life. 15 to 20% of the population is highly sensitive (equally among men and women).

      • Happi

        I was about to suggest the same book. Reading her book changed my life and my copy of the book is currently doing the rounds with several Highly Sensitive new friends I’ve met. It’s wonderful watching them exclaim “oh my god, this is me!!” and a look of surprise them relief crosses their faces.

      • Roshni

        I was about to suggest the same book too! I used to think that being highly sensitive was a curse, but now I consider it one of my greatest gifts. It really is an eye-opening book, I highly recommend it!

        • Glad to see Dr. Aron’s book mentioned. She has researched and documented this trait for many years now, and since it impacts roughly 20% of the population (actually of over 100 species, including humans), I think it’s time she was recognized for her contributions. Have a look at her website, hsperson.com as well — she has a self-test you can take to see if you are highly sensitive.

          Understanding that highly sensitive people (HSPs) are simply wired, physiologically, differently to others, and that we get overwhelmed more easily by all the data we take in, helps us understand that often we need to call a halt to that input sooner than others, and recognize that when we are overwhelmed, we are simply not going to function at our best until we are in a position to let the overwhelm recede…

          Having said that, the other side of being HSP is that we actually need sufficient stimulation that our brain doesn’t atrophy — too little stimulation is as bad as too much! Which makes it a good thing that we HSPs are so aware of so much, because it means we can monitor ourselves and what we are involved in, in order to optimize our functioning…

          Great topic — glad you raised it, Marie!

          • ps. For the coaches reading this, Dr. Aron is listing certified coaches who have taken a very easy, but informative test on what being highly sensitive is all about on the hsperson.com website, which could be a useful piece of visibility for your work. She’s all about raising awareness of this in the world.

          • Deborah, thanks for providing the reminder about where to find Dr. Aron’s work. I loved the books, but hadn’t thought to visit her lately in the online world!

      • Reading The Highly Sensitive Person and Ted Zeff’s The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide really was quite freeing. And I recommend The Highly Sensitive Child to any parent of a highly sensitive kid as the adcice in so many parenting books just does not fit a highly sensitive kid.

        I spoke on Thriving as a Highly Sensitive Person at a home school conference recently and had 2 dads come up to myou booth and tell me that my talk totally changed how they understand their highly sensitive wife.

    • You said that so eloquently, Shana. You are accepting your authentic self and becoming clear. Here are some thoughts on sensitivity;”There are more than 7 billion people on Earth. Of those, 20% are born with highly refined nervous systems that influence many aspects of their personality and worldview. 62 million Americans — 1.4 billion people worldwide — process things more deeply…. I believe our nervous systems have been wired for us to bring forth a different kind of leading, and a different kind of living — a radical departure from the rude, crude, violent, mind-numbing ways that have dominated our norms, despite them being so ecologically and psychologically destructive. I believe highly sensitive people are neurologically wired to respond to our planet’s call — from business to biosphere — to step forward and bring forth many missing virtues from our culture… tenderness, compassion, empathy, benevolence, collaboration, inspiration, joy… virtues that have been confused for weakness, but are actually needed in every realm of our lives.”~ Erika Harris.

      • What a great perspective! I often feel so discouraged and emotional when I think of what we are doing to the planet and all of its beautiful creatures. I love the idea that perhaps sensitivity is an evolutionary advantage 🙂 Maybe our purpose is to change the world for the better, and maybe there is hope for us all yet. Thank you for sharing!

  5. Love this! I’m extremely sensitive and always need to remind myself other people’s comments and actions are not about me, because the world does not revolve around me. It’s one of Don Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements that that stick with me the most. – Don’t Take Things Personally.
    One strategy that I’ve been using a lot lately that has been quite successful and enlightening has been to ask myself where did that feeling come from. After I step back and just feel it for 5, I try to ask where the heck that came from and why was I wounded or offended. What belief about myself did it stir up or what open wound did it touch? That’s been so helpful in realizing my feelings are in my control and have to do with the value that I put on other people’s actions or words. Even though it’s not personal, there was something in me triggered and it has helped to take the time to look at myself and be aware of my triggers which takes their power away.

    • The Four Agreements is so incredible once you can learn to embrace it. I love your comment here and just wanted to let you know that I agree with it. 🙂

      • Thank you Carol for your note! The Four Agreements are excellent reminders to live by and so simple (not simple in doing/practice, but simple in theory). I have learned that I will never be perfect at it, but to heed agreement four Always Do My Best:)

    • You’re making me want to re-read The 4 Agreements. I really need to remember not to take things personally.

      And I like your idea about asking myself, “Where did that come from?” when a negative feeling pops up. Because the world is a mirror, right? So if something upsetting happens to me, it’s reflecting something inside myself that needs to be looked at.

      • Oh Delight! It’s a fabulous book and a pretty quick read if you are interested. It will shift your way of thought or at least bring awareness to your own.

        Loved that you picked up on the internal mirror, I do believe we reflect ourselves in our reactions and the way we interpret others. I take comfort in knowing that although I can’t change another I can look at and change myself:) thank you for your note! It tickled me to see your name “Delight”

    • Hi Lana, I remember learning this lesson through cognitive therapy: that no one can “make” me feel any way about myself that I don’t already believe on some level. I was negotiating a raise with my boss, and he was intentionally undercutting me, saying that anyone could do my job. It really hurt my feelings because I took it personally and was discouraged, when really he was just playing the negotiating game. I had to telescope out and came back to him with hard numbers that showed how much money I had brought to the firm, how many systems I had tangibly improved. I had to ‘be my own best friend,’ as Beyonce would say. I have had to learn to filter the criticism that comes my way instead of just letting it in and letting my inner-critic create a negative feedback loop. It’s helpful sometimes, when I’m overwhelmed by someone else’s comments, to imagine myself at the age when I first felt the feeling of not being ‘enough’ or good enough, and work through whatever the past incident was. It helps to put the present issue into perspective and realize that sometimes I’m reacting to stuff from the past and not the present issue. Of course meditation helps with this as well. Thanks!

      • Hi Clancy! What a great example with your boss! That makes complete sense going back in time to the first gremlin/self sabotaging thoughts of “I’m not enough” which can help putting a current situation in perspective of what’s really the issue. Thank you for sharing!

  6. This is great, Marie! Thank you!

  7. I liked this video, excellent advice as usual. And I love your tweetables! Happy day

  8. Jutta

    Hi Marie,
    this is a real good editions. Heavy duty and a must for everyone.

    I am struggling right now with such situations from my personal relationships and family. It is not that easy to handle, makes me sad, feeling trapped. How can you approach this without hurting the person who is not doing this intentionally?

    Thanks

  9. I try to stay open to feedback and see what I can learn from it, no matter what. Asking “what can I learn? What can I do better?” and then letting anything else go is the best approach for me 🙂

    I find the non-work stuff much harder. Where I live, grinding poverty is everywhere, and the temptation is to shut off from that. But that makes me less compassionate. It’s hard to find a balance sometimes.

  10. Hi Marie. Your latest video appeared in my email at the perfect time for me! I was just feeling that stomach ache of bad emotions because a friend of mine was unhappy with my prices and wanted “mates rates”. I tried to explain it’s about me valuing my time, but I didn’t really believe it myself. Your video reminded me that is his “stuff” and not to take it on board.

  11. I relate to this topic so much. I’ve been told my whole life that I was too sensitive and needed to toughen up. I’ve only recently learned how to embrace my sensitive soul and use it to my advantage. I silently recite mantras or affirmations to flip my energy. Two of my favorites are “Peace begins with me” and “I choose to see peace instead of this” – they allow me to quickly shift my focus, breathe, and let any negative energy wash away.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      These are such beautiful mantras! Thank you for sharing them with us. I definitely plan on adopting the latter one for my life.

    • I also agree with you. I really take care about what make me feel peaceful.

  12. This is a good one Marie. I really like the part about not starting your day with social media or email, I am going to try that for a week and see how it goes.

    I’ve also found working on my solar plexus chakra has been really helpful for dealing with negativity and being able to stay calm and centered even when things around me are not. It also helps with self confidence, the kind that isn’t based on external circumstances or abilities.

    Thanks for the great video!

    • Leah

      Thanks for the solar plexus chakra idea. It makes total sense, and I’ll definitely start to work with it.

    • I agree sometime they make we distraction but I want to mean important is we consider what really mean with us to do not need all of time we don’t do it again. Little fun and excitement also is necessary.

  13. Marie, I loved this and funny enough posted a video on criticism just a few weeks ago.

    great minds think alike!

  14. Jaya

    Marie, this speaks to me and hope the world out there hears it too as too often there is the blame and shame attached to being sensitive which goes deep in one’s psyche. We need to organize ourselves differently to support sensitivity as a positive value in our society. Loving kindness is all there is in every moment. In gratitude to you Marie for embracing this value.

  15. Jaskirat

    wow this video came just in time , to help me . so my in-laws family was here on weekend and they are dealing with possible divorce situation my sis in law has to go through. its so depressed and negative environment in their house , they bring that baggage here as well everytime, and create depressed negative and more negative environment for us, and they have never liked me , that’s why they keep saying stuff like to my husband when you go there he is going to get married again, and its always a joke for everyone even my husband, I don’t understand how to get rid of such stuff and my ultimate way of taking care of such situations is to cut off from such people but I am stuck because they are my in-laws, so unless I cut ties from my husband I can’t get rid of these people. can anyone suggest something easier

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s definitely a tough situation to be in, Jaskirat. It’s possible that your in-laws aren’t aware of how their negative comments are affecting you (if they were aware I hope they’d stop saying them!). Check out these two episodes of MarieTV where Marie discusses what to do when the people around you are sending negative energy your way: http://www.marieforleo.com/2014/10/naysayers/ and http://www.marieforleo.com/2014/12/tonglen/

  16. Jen

    Stellar episode!

    Great for any of us who are sensitive to what is happening around us. Love the notion that it’s not about toughening up, it’s about smartening up; most of us who become overwhelmed by all of it have tried to toughen up to no avail.

    You are so spot on about doing the most important work first!

    Sharing this one, for sure!

    xo

    • Isn’t it great Jen!? I know I’ve been through the must toughen up stage (briefly) before, and boy am I glad I didn’t stick with it – I don’t think I would have liked the ‘tougher’ version. And in fact, I think being sensitive is toughening up! x

  17. Perfect timing, Marie! Had a very sensitive moment yesterday and struggled. But then I meditated and had an honest moment with myself. I realized some of what was said was true and some was not. I thanked them for the part I realized was true then told them I would think about the rest.

    Afterwards, I watched your “conscious parenting” episode again and got in tune with my inner voice.

  18. yesaandgirl

    Excellent advice Marie!
    I have one tool that I find super useful and have been sharing it for years.
    Get perspective!
    Ask yourself these 2 questions(or a variation of these words):
    1. What will I think of this situation when I am 80?
    2. When I am 80, how will I wish I had handled this?

    Pretty damned hard to hang onto unrealistic/unhelpful/unhealthy reactions in the face of these questions. Drama hacked! 🙂
    Perspective really *is* everything!

    If you are feeling like you are in a phase where you are an hostage to your emotions, keep a paper with these questions in your pocket at all times.
    Put it in your pocket when you get dressed.
    It’s amazing how often your mind will “touch” it during the day, giving a gentle “strength supplement” ..slow release!
    It really works.

    I hope this can help even one person. 🙂
    Marie, thanks for giving us the place to mentor each other, I learn great stuff here!
    Carry on!

    Sharon Leigh
    yesandgirl

  19. Do you know that the top 3 priorities of my life is actually meditation, working out and writing! Thanks for the love & compassion that I get from you (across the globe, in India 🙂

    Thanks,

  20. Gail

    Don’t mistake kindness for weakness.

  21. Hi Marie!

    This resonated deeply with me. I too am a super sensitive soul and I find that I am even more sensitive now that I’ve stepped into my gifts as a healer, coach and light worker. I’ve learnt how to accept this amazing ability about myself and use it to my advantage without any judgments. This has allowed me the freedom to connect deeply with others on a soul level; giving them the space to feel inclusive, understand and supported.

    For many years in my past, I allowed my emotions to control me and divert me from the real work I was sent here to do. If a friend or colleague offend or hurt me in anyway, I would then internalize the emotional feeling of the whole incident and have it control me. Sometimes affecting my day, my week or even weeks of my life. I would also turn my hurt emotions into powerful negative energy and send it right back out to my offender times 100%. But doing this never helped me to feel better so I had to learn how to find a better way to become unaffected without harming others.

    The thing that helped me to shift out of this unhealthy pattern was deciding to turn the mirror around onto myself. Looking at my own self and understanding why I allow myself to react or become affected in certain ways and situations has allowed me to have great insight into myself. I know understand that all interpretation stems from our self belief.

    Once we are able to shift into viewing ourselves in a nonjudgmental way, we will become less and less affected by the energies of others. Instead we will pull only positive energies towards us. Thus creating a positive mental and physical states in and around ourselves.

    Thank you for giving us this amazing platform to learn a grown each week. You are truly an inspiration.

    Have a blessed week everyone!
    With tons of love from a open heart,

    Kerry

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      You’re so right, Kerry. When we teach ourselves to be able to acknowledge something without judging it, we’re able to treat ourselves more gently, which is especially important for sensitive folks (myself included!).

  22. Marie,

    This was so helpful for me. There is so much talk these days about embracing being a sensitive person, but these actionable steps were so clear and empowering for me, I really felt like I gained realistic ways to deal with my sensitivity and use it as a gift. You are amazing. Thank you! xx

    Claire

  23. Lisa

    You’re adorable. Love your videos on Tuesdays

  24. I have a couple of clients who are highly sensitive, and as a direct, pull-no-punches kind of coach, we always begin by setting boundaries. Just how “spicy” can I be without encroaching on their sensitivities? It comes down to trust. Even the most sensitive among us will listen to criticism from people we deeply trust and know to have our best interests at heart. But when we’re in a place where we don’t feel safe, we don’t feel we can trust, ALL the walls come up and then we project that there’s something wrong with us.

    There’s nothing wrong with you. As Marie keenly pointed out, it’s a gift to have a deep level of sensitivity to the world around you. But there are still toxic people who aren’t looking out for your best interests – sometimes they’re your boss, colleagues, or even your family. Creating and enforcing boundaries with those toxic people is important. For as much as we “blunt and direct” folks need to learn a little tact and diplomacy, the sensitive among us need to be able to hold their own when it comes to personal and professional boundaries… otherwise, you’ll end up being the doormat in life.

    • Lisa –

      Another way to look at “toxic” people is that sometimes, they just don’t know what they don’t know! Sometimes they think they are helping “for your own good”. When we understand ourselves better, it’s easier to stand our ground with such people and calmly say “thank you, but in fact what works for you doesn’t work for me; here is what works for me”. Up to and including walking away!

      Also, the understanding that sensitivity is actually a researched and documented trait validated by numerous scientists and researchers in a variety of fields can help lend credence if you are trying to educate someone…

  25. Lynn

    Hey Marie!
    Wonderful topic. thank you!
    An off topic comment to the beginning of your video…….as a sensitive soul too…….I dare you to find out how pigs are treated and killed for the “sweet sticks” and as sensitive souls themselves (very intelligent, playful and caring animals)……maybe don’t want to be eaten. Just a thought.

    • Lynn, I do know about that. Sweet sticks (in this context) actually has nothing to do with bacon. The reference was to pixie sticks. You get to hear a nickname, and some very lighthearted joking happening amongst our team. Also, I was just saying a word (“bacon”) out loud – which does not mean that I eat it, condone factory farming, or anything of that nature.

      • You know if I wasn’t so GUNG HO about wanting to set up my own biz, I would SO be knocking on your door Marie to join your team – It looks like you guys have so much fun working together….

        Love it – thank you x

  26. Alyssa Ostrander

    So timely Marie,

    Thanks so much for reminding us that sensitivity is a gift, not a curse! And how wonderful it is to be able to feel…yet how important to monitor the heart and mind balance.

    My mother-in-law is visiting for two more days and this reminder will help so much to remember to consider the source.

    I so appreciate your wisdom to start my day!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Oh gosh, I hope your mother-in-law isn’t too critical for the remainder of her stay. Please know that the community is sending positive vibes your way. You got this. 🙂

  27. Hey Marie,

    I can relate to this so much! And think I’ve started to realise that sensitivity and vulnerability are a proof of courage and not weakness 3 years ago. (also came across amazing Brene Brown! If you ever think it suits Marie TV, I reckon she would be a great guest to interview!) I am incredibly happy I have changed this about me and now I can just take a breather and move on, makes life so much easier. Few things that help me are motivational quotes & TED Talks, keeping active, yoga and meditation. Most days I think of this great quote by Buddha
    “What you think you become,
    What you feel you attract,
    What you imagine you create.”

    Thanks for your great videos as usual, it’s definitely one of the things I look most forward to on Tuesdays 🙂 xx

  28. Well for starters, I just LOVE this subject. I have been a sensitive person-well since I can remember! And although I haven’t always seen it as a gift, I now realize that it’s what makes me, ME!

    I just love Marie and what she has to offer around this topic. I was pretty stoked when I heard her three tips, because I actually use all three in my day to day life! Yay! This isn’t always the case…

    What I do, when I feel anxious or sad or frustrated by something or someone, is I put on my imaginary #loving and COMPASSIONATE sunglasses, that way I can get to a more gentle and loving place inside of myself when an uncomfortable emotion arrives. This helps me move through the emotion, say it’s anxiety, more gracefully! And my horse whisperer friend had given me an amazing piece of wisdom, which I try to use in these same types of situations. She says: ⭐️ allow your emotion to lead you to an act of self-care! ⭐️ I LOVE that so much!!!!!!

    Okay well I usually don’t post on here, although I would like to start doing it more, but this video INSPIRED me to do so, as you can see!

    Thanks Marie, I love you and your work so much!

    Sarah

    • I love what your horse-whisperer friend told you! I’ll try to remember that one!

    • Sarah, your imagery of loving and compassionate sunglasses so cute! And so inline to follow up with an act of self-care, I love that – thank you to your horse whisperer friend!

  29. Steph

    Marie, you are a fantastic teacher. I didn’t consider myself as sensitive until I watched this. I did consider it a weakness and I needed to toughen up for the corporate world. A professional woman can’t be sensitive. Too many of my coworkers are negative people. When they lash out I think it must be exhausting to be miserable so often. I will watch this video again and take your advise. Thank you.

  30. Catherine

    Well… How fitting was it for me today, you literally were speaking to me (!) Nice to hear you say my name.

    What I find difficult when faced with “on the spot” criticism is to avoid explaining and justifying my point of view. The hardest thing often for me is to first let go of my point of view to be able to listen to the other people point of view, may it be criticism. It is very easy to take a difference of opinion as criticism, especially when expressed in angry terms, but it is not always the case.
    Negative people are a different issue for me and what I do is “I cast away the burden of so and so on the Christ within and I go free to be happy”. Feel free to replace the “Christ within” by any universal All caring, All loving, All powerful energy you may want and let it do for you what you could not do for yourself.

    Thank you

  31. Hi Marie!
    Once again, an awesome Q&A Tuesday. As a sensitive gal, I related to everything you said. But there are some things that need to be addressed in this episode…

    1. You are rocking a BAD *SS jumpsuit!
    2. That is an adorable owl mug
    3. Peonies!

    Thanks for the great visuals along with the wonderful & actionable content! Love starting my Tuesday mornings off with your videos. 🙂

    • Kadee

      Love this reply and agree 100% 🙂

  32. Don’t take it personally, the ‘negative’ comment or feeling belongs to them. This is important to remember for any type of discussion actually. I like the 5 minute tip to feel it and then buh-bye. Marie, you are so in tune with real-life situations and all of us non-famous but not ordinary folks.

  33. I agree with Marie about the power of perspective. If I am ever in an actual one-on-one confrontation in a work environment, I always try to remember that it’s most likely about business, service, and efficiency. Some criticism at work is necessary to keep things running smoothly, and at the end of the day, it’s nothing personal.

    HOWEVER, when you’re sensitive to energy (like me), you don’t even need an actual confrontation or conversation to send you over the edge. Even though words aren’t likely to get to me, the undercurrent flowing through my environment can bring me down and make me feel cut off from myself. It may sound a bit “new-agey” or “woo-woo”, but here’s what I do to help me stay rooted in my own energy:

    1. Feed your spirit every morning. This can be accomplished through prayer, meditation, writing, exercise, etc. I personally wake up, light a candle, make coffee, draw a card (I’m a Tarot practitioner), and then write in my journal. I try to meditate as well, but it’s honestly not as important to me as drawing a card and writing every morning. But of course, you do you. 🙂 Whatever you can do to fuel your spirit before you jump into the race will help get you through the day.

    2. Carry a touchstone. Guys, let me tell you, having something you can physically touch throughout the day is a LIFE SAVER. No matter where you work or what you do, try carrying a cross, crystal, pocket Buddha, angel, mala string, (or whatever else floats your boat) around with you. Keep it in your pocket, purse, or on your desk…anywhere as long as it’s easily accessible whenever you need it. When you start feeling that dark, oppressive cloud forming around you, just take out your touchstone and remember that YOU have the power to control your own emotions/energy in every situation.

    3. Walk away. Whenever it gets too real or too crazy, find a way to get yourself out of the situation for a minute. If you’re working on the floor, ask a co-worker to cover for you while you “go to the bathroom.” If you’re working at an office you can use the same excuse, or you can go to the breakroom. Just take a couple of minutes to breath some different air and calm yourself down. The energy might still be the same when you return, but at least you’re more prepared to deal with it now, because you’ve identified it as an external force.

    These are things that always help me, but I’m interested to hear about what you guys do. (Feel free to reply with any questions/comments.)

    • Annie

      Zetta, I’m very much like you in this respect, I’m more sensitive to the energy around me and even things that people I know are feeling from miles away. It’s the current that gets me, because I often don’t know why I’m feeling what I’m feeling. So I always start by asking myself “Does this belong to me?”. If it doesn’t, the feeling often dissipates with that question. I love the touchstone idea! I’m going to try that, and I already have a sense that it will help.

      • Zetta

        That’s a great question to ask yourself, “Is this coming from me?” I wish I would have started doing that sooner in my life! For me it gets especially tricky when I’m picking up on energy from “miles away” too. When I can’t see the source around me, it makes me feel especially crazy. That’s when the touchstone comes in handy for me. Let me know how it works for you!

      • Mandy - Team Forleo

        This is such a smart and helpful thing to do! It’s kind of like Marie’s “consider the source” tip except you’re considering yourself as the source rather than other people. Sometimes we internalize things to the point of not knowing exactly where they come from, so this sounds like a great way to get in touch with your true self. Thanks so much for sharing this with us!

    • Kadee

      What great strategies! I am feeling inspired to make some big changes to my morning ritual.

      I too am so sensitive a confrontation doesn’t have to happen for me to be affected by the energy around me. Taking energy breaks, and deep breathing helps me a lot. Walking away whenever possible, spending time in nature always recharges me.

      Your idea of a touchstone is genius! I will incorporate that practice as part of my daily energy management. I have a polished citrine crystal that I feel comforted by that I will use. I have used it before but usually only for particularly stressful situations, it hadn’t occurred to me to have one on me all the time, such a great idea! Thank you!

      I have taught my son a similar practice using crystals and “worry” stones by his bed at night to help him with anxiety and nightmares and it has worked well for him. I will share the idea of having one with him all the time too. I think it will help him with some anger issues he is dealing with.

  34. Kim

    I’m what’s known as Hypersensitive… it’s not a fun ride! The smallest things can either make me angry, or cry or laugh until my stomach hurts…but mostly negative feelings. Have tried CBT, counselling, hypnotherapy.. i’ve just had to learn to build an invisible wall, which i’m building, brick by brick, to remind me that any negative views are the persons own and to bounce them back off the wall like a rubber ball. I hear it, acknowledge the thought, but let it pass through and try to not let it get to me. It’s extremely difficult but i’m slowly learning…at a snails pace! I suffer with anxiety and depression too so being hypersensitive just feeds those feelings!

  35. Elisabetta

    Hi Marie, I too practice meditation, so my first suggestion is going to be: if you feel upset by criticism, just focus on your breth for a few seconds and feel your emotions without judging them. Another energetic thecnique that works great is faster eft which helps to get rid of any negative response, you just “release and let go!”. Thank you so much for your amazing videos, I enjoy them so much all the time:)

  36. Rena

    Hi Marie,
    I agree with you that sensitivity is a strength, although it took me some time to recognize this. Sensitivity makes you more aware of what is not being said. this may give you a clearer picture of what is actually going on.
    Thanks Marie for all your work and advice. it has been great.
    Rena

  37. Melissa Brauen

    LOVED this! Sharing with my daughter who is uber sensitive and has a hard time working thru her hurt feelings. My biggest take away form this is the dialog re: thanking them for their point of view – and then ASKING them for their input on how you can improve. In other words – if the critical person is putting it out there, then put the responsibility of giving suggestions on how to fix it on THEM. This does two things: 1) it softens the ‘ouch’ factor and 2) gives you the opportunity to see if this is truly a helpful person or just a, well, ‘criticizer’ 😉

  38. Thank you for this video! I have been said my entire life to toughen up, stop being so sensitive…but I can not help but being like this, I was born this way. I cry when I am sad, I cry when I hear a choir singing for god’s sake! 🙂
    And I am getting better by not letting everything hurt me, since I am a mom, but I am still a tender soul. I do my morning pages of writing to clear my head and this seems to help me cope with everyday’s ”drama”. But it helps knowing that being ”soft” isn’t wrong or disability and also feels good knowing that I am not the only one. Being like this, my world is so much richer with feelings though, I notice other people’s feelings and I am so grateful for everything good in my life every day. I think the world should rather soften, there is enough violence everywhere. So much about being tough! If more people would be sensitive we would life in much happier place.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I couldn’t agree more, Nina. The world really does need more sensitivity and empathy. <3

  39. Dear Marie,

    How wise and wonderful you are! I’m one of those sensitive people too, and although I’m happy to feel “in tune” with those I serve, I recoil when I detect I’ve disappointed or angered someone. The Buddhist teachers I listen to would concur with what you’ve said. 🙂 Sitting with the feeling and not the story that feeds the feeling is one of the best pieces of advice that you (and Pema Chodron) have shared. I love your tender heart and your enthusiasm for life. You are a gift to the world, for sure! Keep on keepin’ on!

    Marilyn

  40. Marie,

    This was one of the best videos you’ve done! Those of us who were graced with the gift of empathy and sensitivity (I believe they go hand in hand) enrich the world, and yet we get the greatest criticisms. My entire life I’ve been told that I’m too sensitive and too emotional (usually by the same people who gain from the plus side of me!) – and it seems to be increasing in society today where tolerance for anything unique is often met with disdain.

    Love your positivity!

  41. 4 things I do:
    1. feel my feet – it grounds me enough to collect my thoughts and center myself – along with a deep breath
    2. read and watch positive and inspirational shows and books to uplift my energy
    3. Tapping – like you said, “feel it for five”
    4. surround myself with positive people whenever possible
    When I don’t do these things (so easy to do) I feel my energy falling and my sensitivity rising!

    Thanks for speaking to a truth so many of us feel!

    • Shirley

      I’ve heard of the “feel your toes” method before and almost completely forgot until you mentioned it right now. Thanks. I’ve heard that it not only helps to ground you, but also redirects your energy and reframes your thoughts to focus on being present.

  42. Monica

    Hi Marie,

    Thank you so much for this video! I think your approach to sensitive souls is so empowering. I really appreciate that, instead of contributing to a society that tells us emotions are bad, you’ve emphasized using emotions to add depth and quality to life.

    Thank you so much!
    -Monica

    • Absolutely agree with this Monica, and love how you’ve worded it. Emotions do add depth and quality to life – and for this reason, I think we are ‘toughening up’ by embracing them. I’d hate to imagine what the world would look like if we all ‘toughened up’ in the way that phrase is usually meant! Another mind-blowingly fantastic ep by Marie.

  43. Almost 2 years ago I quit my hospital nursing job to become a full time artist. Making that enormous change in my life really brought out some very resentful and unhappy people within my circle. At first, I was really hurt by the unsupportive comments, then I realized that this was simply their own personal shit that they were trying to throw at me. One thing I learned to do when a mean/hurtful comment came my way, was to say, “That’s a weird (interesting/strange) thing to say, Katie”. Most of the time, I don’t think the person realizes what they are saying or how it is coming across. By replying with this simple comment, it is returning it back to them without being confrontational. Plus, for me, it feels like I am giving it back instead of carrying it around with me all day.

    • Tal

      Regina – “By replying with this simple comment, it is returning it back to them without being confrontational. Plus, for me, it feels like I am giving it back instead of carrying it around with me all day.” — I love this! I’ve had a lot of people make similar comments after I took a leap out of the conventional career path everyone thought I’d follow. It is hard to deflect it, but I think what you say here is perfect. It is all about them. I’ve learned that it’s only their own fears they are projecting onto me when they say those things. It’s getting easier to let it not effect me, but what you say here is great to start practicing. Thanks for your comment!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      This is such great advice! It forces the person throwing the negativity at you to really think about and confront what they’re saying within themselves.

  44. Marie, thanks for this video! I love the suggestion to start my day with my “Me” stuff. When I wake up to a morning ritual of walking my dogs, a workout and a solid healthy breakfast I know I can tackle all that life throws at me. But when I start my day with a screeching alarm clock, a rush hour drive, and cranky co-workers (leaving my Me stuff for later in the day) I am miserable and feel off balance, like I can be pushed around by the world. It is definitely important to engineer our days and rituals to make sure we are taking care of ourselves before we take care of others. Great share 🙂

  45. Thanks for this vid, Marie. I’m a crazy super-sensitive person, and it’s been something that has (I feel) plagued me my entire life & career. I’m smack in the middle of a Deepak Chopra 21-day meditation challenge, and while it’s good, I feel that it might be opening up this “sensitivity portal” even more as it’s shedding light on my choices in life, which is sometimes painful. Anyway, this morning I attempted to check my email before my meditation practice (which is discouraged), and the whole session I ended up stressed and now depressed. Until I saw this video, curiously and coincidentally in my inbox, which helped tremendously. I feel like I will need to work on the part where I “forget it in 5”, but I’m up for the challenge. 🙂

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      It’s astounding to think how an email can throw off our day, but it really does! It’s great to hear you’re practicing meditation. The hardest part of meditation for me is being able to put myself in the right mental place to best benefit from it, so I hear you.

      • I know- right?? Thanks for responding, Maggie. You must love it on Team Forleo. 🙂

  46. Marie!! This post was an answer to my prayers! I knew my sensitive skin was an asset but I never really figured out how to flow in it positively without the negative aspect interfering! Thank you for this video!!!

  47. Kelly

    Marie, this was a great episode. I’ve been told I am “very sensitive” since I was a little girl – and it definitely wasn’t always framed as a gift. I love all three of your recommendations! I went through a phase in my life when I tried to build an armor – and it ended up that isolation and numbing habits were the only ways to avoid feeling things deeply. That is a real temptation for sensitive folks, and it just makes things much worse, ultimately, because it is a vicious cycle. You feel bad, you numb it, you come to feeling worse, you isolate, you feel even worse…and so on. Until you land yourself in treatment.

    But I have come to appreciate my sensitivity as a gift, because it allows me to be fully present for my life and for others. I even seek out feedback, now, because I’m always trying to improve. Feeling things without attaching a narrative to them is a huge help, as well as remembering not to take criticism personally. I also find that I’m in the best frame of mind to do these things if I can avoid HALTS – hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or serious. So I make sure to start my day with a good night’s sleep, breakfast, gratitude, and laughter. Those are huge priorities for me, because I know then that I have a firm foundation to allow negative energy and feelings to wash over me – I can feel them without losing my grip, and I can look for the opportunities in constructive criticism.

    Thanks again, Marie. I feel like this episode was a great affirmation for me – I am not alone! 🙂 You’re the best.

    • Tal

      Kelly – I like how you say to make sure you have a good foundation to prevent the negative feelings from taking over. I can totally relate to your HALTS! I know for myself when I’m hungry I especially take all the negativity way too deeply and it can taint my entire perspective. I’m going to make sure my morning routine sets the right foundation for me. Thanks for mentioning this!

  48. It’s interesting because earlier this morning, I was discussing this same topic with a friend who was often hurt deeply in dating situations. I pointed out to him that when he starts dating someone new, he tends to put her on a pedestal and the danger in doing so, is that it also pushed him down, therefore making it an uneven playing field. In my opinion, when you do this in ANY situation, you tend personalize things a lot more than if you feel on the same level as the other person. Not only are you putting way too much value on the other person, you are also putting less value on yourself. I also agree that you have to look at the source. When my ‘crazy’ aunt insults me now, I just laugh because…well, she’s crazy…ha

    • Elizabeth

      Your friend is HSP and should read Elaine Aron’s book “The Highly Sensitive Parson” and “The Highly Sensitive Person in Love”. There’s also a documentary being made about highly sensitive people. 15 to 20% of the population is highly sensitive (that’s equally among men and women).

      I had a hard time dating and thought there was something wrong with me, until I dated a man that was HSP like me. It was the most amazing experience. After that there is no way I could ever be with a non-HSP person. Some will argue this point, however I spent the bulk of my dating life with non-HSP which was a disaster. What was great about the experience was: our brain and emotions were in sync and it was like operating as one. At times it was like communicating on a telepathic level. The downside: you can’t lie to each other ’cause you’ll always know.

  49. Tal

    Love, love, love this! All my life, all I’ve heard is “you’re so sensitive” or “don’t be so soft” or the biggest one “toughen up!” I know the people who say this to me want what is best for me and are only trying to protect me, but I’ve always felt they are picking at something I don’t really want to change. The fact that I am sensitive enough to really deeply feel my emotions – and more importantly, the emotions of others around me – very deeply is something I don’t want to stop. I even feel the emotion of the environment I’m in, which is great insight for me to use for the field I’m working in. It’s all about getting it under control, as you talk about in this video. And it’s great to know someone as amazing as yourself is also sensitive and owning it!

    • Elizabeth

      Hi Tal, you are an empathy and an HSP (read the book:highly sensitive person by Elaine Aron) People say things because they don’t understand you and it makes them uncomfortable, that’s why they want you to change. There is nothing wrong with you, you posses a highly prized gift/ability that some people would kill for. Learn more about your gift and find a way to use it. I’m an HSP (highly sensitive person) and my gift is what makes me good at what I do. A way to control unwanted energy (which are thoughts) – continuously repeat “never complain, never explain what you permit into your life” ~ that will effectively stop your thought energy from gravitating towards negative people. And when someone is speaking negatively, repeat the sentence in your head. Without realizing it, your brain will effectively learn to block incoming signals, and people will stop telling you to “toughen up”. I do this all the time, the change in people’s attitude towards me is amazing. I wish I’d known this when I was younger.

      • Tal

        Elizabeth – I just saw your comment now. Thank you for your tip! I’d never heard of that before. I will practice it and see if that helps. And I’m definitely going to look more into HSP. Reading about it and hearing how people have ways of blocking the negative energy from taking over will be very helpful for me. All the best to you.

  50. Thank you Marie for this!

    Sensitivity and strong emotions are something that I’ve been frustrated with, especially when I feel strongly about something and I cannot seem to clearly explain why or what I’m feeling because I’m caught in the emotions. My husband is extremely logical and this can really be difficult for us when we’re discussing something important.

    He has also helped me learn to accept emotions and then let them go. I love the Give it 5, then Bye Bye idea, because sometimes I’ll try to sit with it and end up dwelling. What a great balance! Honoring the emotion, feeling it deeply, then letting go and moving on. BOOM!

    Thanks Marie, sending love and gratitude!

    karina

  51. Grace

    Dear Marie,

    What you have shared is s powerful, however l have a question on how to ensure the feeling remain physical and do not get to your brain.

    My own practice is that l count 1 up to 5 before responding to a negative remark or criticism and l smile even when l feel like screening.

    It is very encouraging to learn that being sensitive is a strength and not a weaknes.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      You’re so right, Grace! Sensitivity seems to get a bad rap, but it really is a strength, though an often under-appreciated one.

  52. Marie, how knowledgeable you are! I am also sensitive person. Learnt a lot from this episode.
    Love you. Thank you very much.

  53. Thank you so much for this video! I know it’s silly but sometimes when you hear or see something you really need it seems like a big flashing sign from the universe. I’m someone that most people think of as super thick-skinned which means it may not occur to people to hold back anything when talking to me. But truth is I’ve always been very sensitive, even as a child. Very recently, someone very close to me was harsh, and incredibly cruel. While I am trying to consider it as not being about me at all it did cause me to question so much about myself, my goals and the way I live my life. Because I often feel like I absorb emotions of mine and others I’ve been having trouble letting it go. The advice in this video is definitely going to help me going forward especially as I don’t want to become super tough. I like being sensitive usually.

  54. Oxana

    Thank you, appreciating your advice!

  55. Ann

    love the notion of hearing the words, but not putting negative meaning to the words. we can often gain new insights from other people even when they may deliver it in a way we don’t like. For example, if you tell someone about a new business you are starting, and they say, “you can’t do that,” usually that means they can’t do that!

  56. Great Q, magnificent answer.

    We, humans came to earth to experience life in all forms and grow from it. So, running away from pain or anger, trying to deny our feelings is not the smart way. I absolutely love and practice the advice “live it and say bye bye”. Letting the feeling in and then let it go is the best way I have found to move on quickly. I practice it with all emotions because sometimes being super ultra happy can make you promise some not so good long term things.

    Thank you for this post, is perfect to reinforce this knowledge.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      So true. Marie is a fan of saying, “Whatever you resist will persist and grow stronger,” so if you don’t allow yourself to live it on your own terms, at least for a little while, then you’ll make yourself live it in a negative way later. So glad you enjoyed this week’s episode.

  57. OH yes! Sensitivity has always been at the core of my existence- over the years, it periodically caused huge mess in my life, as I am also a person who attracts a lot of attention (by my colour, energy, uniqueness), and yet did not really manage to get a handle on my sensitivity as an ASSET until recently, at 40 yrs old.

    I slowly found ways to deal with my uber-sensory-psychic-energetic sensitivity, and to build boundaries to protect myself from the kind of people who feed off of open, energetic people like myself <3 But these lovely points by Marie really help cut to the chase – brava Marie!

    If you're struggling with feeling vulnerable- just keep in there: keep working at it, because you will get there eventually – my own challenges felt like an impossible cliff to climb to the top of, BUT I DID IT- B-School helped enormously in honing my focus, and helping bring structure and peer support to my business, and I now feel extremely comfortable/ increasingly confident in having my sensitivity at the core of my business 😀 xx

  58. This was one of my favorite MARIE TV episodes! I admit that sometimes the negativity of one person coming my way can take up my productivity and emotional energy for the day. My best way to protect myself from taking criticism too personal is to root myself in Scripture and prayer. As a servant of Jesus my identity is totally wrapped up in Him. I cannot be shaken by anything if I am grounded in this truth. Thanks for spurring on so many people including me ever single day!

  59. Thank you for this episode Marie! I am a very sensitive person and feel my emotions very deeply. Now, I know is not about thickening up but smartening up!
    Thanks a lot!
    Rosa

  60. Sarah

    Awesome, Marie!

    I think sometimes it’s easy to forget that outspoken, successful, and powerful(!) people like you can be highly sensitive as well. And it helps a lot to hear you share your experiences with sensitivity with us. Because it naturally implies that the reverse is true: Sensitive people can BE outspoken, successful and powerful, if we want to!

    For my own sensitivity, I used to think of it as weakness, and I used to “manage” it through all kinds of avoidance practices (like limiting my contact with other people, even though I’m naturally extraverted). It wasn’t actually until I discovered the concept of the “Highly Sensitive Person” (as defined by Elaine Aron), and then, more importantly, the concept of the “empath” (as defined by Rose Rosetree) that I was able to start viewing this as a gift, and a somewhat rare gift as well (not freaky rare, but < 10% of the population rare).

    I now manage my sensitivity/empath talent through a daily practice which I learned from Rose's empath empowerment system. It involves (like you said!) starting my day with an exercise that is about ME so that I have a firm foundation and don't get lost in other people all day. Other than that, I have done a lot of bit-by-bit growth and healing to get to know myself and BE myself more effortlessly. It doesn't make me any less "sensitive" (so to speak), but it decreases the effect of external factors on my sense of self. Every day, I feel less and less "threatened" by others' bad moods, criticisms, etc. or even my own bad moods and bad luck… because they do not affect my identity in any way.

    Now, the sensitivity really does feel like a gift to me! It is like having laser-sharp eyesight, except for emotions and other energy.

  61. Mari-Lyn

    Marie I love this Q&A! I am very emotionally sensitive and thankfully I have been using these suggestions for a little while now. I can say for me they absolutely work. Meditation in the morning has become instrumental in a positive and grounded me set while considering the source truly allowed me to let go or grow. The one thing I haven’t really done is your third suggestion of give it five and say bye-bye. I love that suggestion to totally feel it without giving it any mental interpretation. Your scenario of stubbing your toe on the bedpost was perfect! Thank you for helping me smarten up and reinforcing for me that toughening up is not the way to go!!!
    Thank you,
    Mari-Lyn Hergenrader

  62. Barb

    Hi Marie, I really liked your video today and the skills you provided. I also appreciate your validating those of us who are highly sensitive people. Wish I knew this years ago, but I am learning now. You are cross generational and that is wonderful…………Thank you!
    Baby Boomer

  63. Elizabeth

    Has anyone read Elaine Aron’s book “The Highly Sensitive Person” – until I read her book I didn’t realize 15 to 20% of the population is HSP and it’s found equally in men and women. Once I understood this, that’s when my world changed. I gradually moved away from that 80% of non-HSP of the population, and started meeting more HSP. For lack of a better analogy: I found my tribe.

    Elaine Aron also wrote: “The Highly Sensitive Child”, and The Highly Sensitive Person in Love, among others. There’s also a documentary being made about highly sensitive people.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      This is so interesting! Thanks for sharing this with us. It sounds like Elaine’s work is spot on for this episode.

    • Yes!! I discovered i was an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) years ago when I first read Elaine’s book. It was such a relief. And some of her simple suggestions for living with this gift ( and YES IT IS A GIFT!) are fabulously simple – like relaxing your hand when you’re signing your name… silly but you realize how tense you get!

      Marie, your advice is sooo great. NO email in the morning! and paying attention to where we put our energy and the energy we let into our space… yes.
      thank goodness sensitive people!

      There is nothing as strong as tenderness,
      And nothing as tender as true strength.
      Saint Francis de Sales

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      I read it a couple of years ago, Elizabeth, and it changed the game for me personally!

  64. Your advice is timely, as usual, Marie. This is a topic that I am constantly mindful (or sensitive) to. I know my gift as a sensitive soul aids me in most everything I do, however, it has been a curse too. I am forever learning (and relearning) how to channel the sensitive energies for positive outcomes. THANK YOU for this reminder. I truly appreciate the work you do!!

  65. Aaron Szczurek

    I think the way I handle other people, when they are critical or down right mean, is to try and put myself in their shoes. Why might they be acting this way or saying these things. It really helps me not to feel personally attacked, and opens up the doors of communication and understanding if I can think of a way to respond with this in mind. I think you did mention this in you video already, but I can’t think of a better way.

    Thank you, Marie, for giving me a chance to share! As well as giving us some place to do so!
    Aaron 🙂

  66. Hey! Great video this morning. I’m a sensitive person, and have been told to get a thicker skin many times by a former boss. I decided to change careers and fully embrace my gift to share it with others. I really appreciated your advice, and I would add one comment: in your second recommendation you totally nail it that the other person’s reaction is about them, and I also assert that trying to figure out why that person said what they said with the intention of trying to make yourself feel better is a red herring – because it’s all your interpretation. If you’re triggered by having someone respond to your sensitivity and then focus on why they said that, likely what you come up with is going to be self defence mechanism that ultimately in some way protects you from harm (for example, how they must not be comfortable with emotion, therefore making them wrong and you right). It gets us wrapped up in circumstance, thinking about them instead of us, and in our head. Where does that actually get us?

    What I recommend is deciding in those circumstances when someone tells you to get a thicker skin, is to practice focusing inward on a core quality that you love about yourself (your radiance, your ability to relate to others, your light, your intelligence), and talk/respond from that place. One of my core qualities is peace, so I would ask myself – if I were responding as peace, what would that look like?

    Thanks Marie! Really love that you’re giving space to this topic.

  67. Theresa

    Marie,

    Thanks for the video on sensitive souls! I’m struggling to get my business off the ground here in Detroit. It seems people and even family don’t want to see me succeed. I’ll listen to the source and take it for what its worth.

    Thank goodness I’ve gotten away from most negative people.

  68. Oh yes. It is our thoughts about the situation that ruins the whole thing.
    For me it used to be when I was driving home from downtown in rush hour traffic. Someone would cut me off and I would be soooo pissed. I would think, what a jerk for cutting me off, why does he think he is so much more important than me?
    I would have a migraine headache by the time I arrived home. I decided I could no longer live like that. So I turned my thoughts around. I still got people that cut me off in traffic, and I still felt that initial pissed off feeling – but I chose to think instead: That is fine, let him go ahead, maybe he has an emergency at home – besides I would rather he be in front of me and out of my way, then coming up behind me and causing trouble.
    Just that shift of thinking let it go for me.
    I still get that initial pissed off feeling when someone cuts me off, but I just think my new chosen thoughts and my pissed off feeling is gone and forgotten about in about 2 minutes.

    Love it!

  69. What a great topic, thanks Marie for this episode!

    As a highly sensitive person, I value this gift and rely on it at my work, but if not mindful, it’s so easy to backfire. Over the years, I’ve learnt that whenever criticism got to me was because that I lost my center. I call this syndrome “energy slut”, ie. absorbing “stuff” from others without any fussiness. lol

    Things & practices that I do that have helped over the years:

    :: 1 Always reflect first, and don’t pretend to be perfect. Sometimes criticism can be helpful, as long as I’m learning something on the journey, it’s all worthwhile.

    :: 2 Stop holding “psychic bins”, inviting others to throw up on me. Pray very hard to people who send bad vibes.

    :: 3 Invoke Archangel Michael to “wash” the energy and cut the cord. Followed by a bath with Epsom salt.

    :: 4 Pay attention before going to bed + ensure that I’m not sleeping with someone else’s fear or stuff.

    :: 5 Press “Tai Chong” pressure point along the liver meridian (no needles required), often that’s where our body holds conflicts/resentment/old stories. Once you feel the emotions, release them. Your body is a loyal friend to help you adjust and come back to your center.

    :: 6 Build a process to see the bigger picture, such as going to the nature, quality time with loved ones, journalling, dancing etc. Little moments in life keep you grounded. Once you see that you are living in life with full integrity and passion, that’s all matters.

    Hope this helps!

    Love,
    Yiye

    • E L

      Wow!

    • Yiye, thank you!

      I know a bunch about mind/body tools for making shifts, including acupressure, but this is the first time learning about “tai chong.” Excited to try it!

      Hugs of appreciation,
      Susan

  70. This was a great episode Marie; thank you! I am also very sensitive to people’s energy and comments. I read The Four Agreements a few years ago, which helped me calm my sensitivity. However, it does come back from time to time. I really loved your tweetable. My uncle told me once that being sensitive was a sign of strength because it allowed me to help others better. It’s just a matter of understanding sensitivity and making it into your strength.

  71. Ann

    Great Q & A today as a sensitive person this was a great reminder of the value of being a sensitive person great tweetable too!

  72. E L

    Marie, as most often is the case, your topic is timely. As a “spiritual businessperson” faith is what helps me most often in the area of sensitivity. I can be sensitive to some “hot button” issues. Whenever I feel like “cussing” I just remember whose I am and keep looking and getting up! It works most of the time 🙂 for me. I call it tough love!

  73. Theresa

    Hi Marie,
    Thank you for your inspired insights.I always look forward to Tuesday with you. I am at times so sensitive to others that I can feel their feelings. At first Ididn’t know that the feelings belonged to someone else. Then one day when I went to work I suddenly felt extremely suicidal when I walked in the door. it made no sense as I took an inventory of my life, which was going well, and thought this is very strange. Then I went upstairs to see the person who lives in the house and realized I was feeling her feelings, not mine. This is sometimes useful for me my business. I am self employed and clean houses. GOD often sends me someone to who is ill to take care of until they pass. However, at times it is not good. After doing some reading, I have found that wearing clothes that cover most of me ( long pants and long sleeve
    shirts) helps and sometimes if necessary I need to put some physical distance from people whose feelings are causing me to feel uncomfortable.
    I start my day with prayer and gratitude and then breakfast and while I’m getting ready for work I watch Brian Johnson’s Philosophers Notes TV. He gives me great ideas and food for thought and at the end of the video he says ” Have another awesome day ” That sets the tone for me to go out into the world and make a difference.

  74. Sensational, Marie!

    I’m so happy to hear you talk so positively about being emotionally sensitive.

    I’d struggled for many years with anxiety and depression. Then, after earning and MBA and trying to slug it out in management consulting with an industry leader, I burned out. I went back to school for a PhD in Somatic Psychology, also known as mind/body psychology.

    My program blended theory and mind/body experiential practices. I realized that our bodies hold the key to confidence and resilience.

    Through breathe, movement, posture, and sensory awareness, we can learn to regulate our emotions. Not manage them, but to make little body adjustments that help us feel better, even when criticism is coming, we’re in an overstimulating environment, or we feel like we have too much to do.

    Now, I coach high-achieving, emotionally sensitive professionals (B-School has helped me a ton!). Here are my top 10 ways to deal with being emotionally sensitive at work:

    (1) Watch my diet. Sugar and caffeine can make me depressed or anxious on their own. We are what we eat. Those are out for me.

    (2) Meditate. Every day. Even 5 minutes. Aaah, brings long-lasting ease.

    (3) When I’m overwhelmed or upset, I breathe, long, slow and deep. I also practice and teach Kundalini yoga. I’ve learned a slew of breathing techniques for cooling anger, for reversing anxiety, and so much more.

    (4) After an upsetting event, I shake out my body. Like a dog wiggles when it gets out of water. I imagine the upset leaving through my limbs. Shaking is the body’s natural reset mechanism.

    (5) In conflicts, I ask myself, “Who have I decreed this person to be? A villain? A know-it-all? A judge?” And then I just come to a neutral place, and face the facts, instead getting stuck in a false judgment about the person. That lets me come back to my own self-worth.

    (6) I center myself. I literally put a hand on my belly (“hara” in Japanese, or “tan tien” in Chinese), the seat of wisdom in so many ancient practices. It’s calming and re-centering.

    (7) I smile a genuine smile — for myself. If you hold a smile for 30+ seconds, it releases feel-good hormones. I think of that smile as smiling on my own spirit. Sweet!

    (8) When I feel attacked, I feel either my butt in the seat, or my feet on the ground, and remember that Mama Earth is holding me. I’ll be OK.

    (9) I keep a journal at my desk for writing out any frustrations. I hand-write my upsets. It gets the energy out and I feel better, fast.

    (10) In the moment of intense sensitivity, I place a hand on my heart, and tune into the wisdom of my soul or higher self. No one ever knows what I’m doing, and it’s my favorite self-healing technique.

    I feel so fortunate to have transformed my own sensitivity to be of service to other high-energy, high-achieving professionals, so they can contribute their best in their careers.

    LOVE you and what you do, Marie – Thank you!
    Susan

  75. Bonjour, Marie !
    I do the same thing: feel the physical without attaching a label.
    &
    What they say is about them, not about me.
    xo

  76. Colette

    Hi Marie,
    Thank you so much for this topic…loved it! On another note….where did you get your outfit? I LOVE the top and LOVE the pants!!!! Can you please let me know where they came from?
    Thanks so much!

  77. When something comes up for me I follow the its:
    Claim IT – I feel _______.
    Name IT – Answer the question “Why am I feeling IT.”
    Respond to IT – What’s next?

    This helps me let go and move forward.

  78. Marie,
    You Rock sista! Love that you addressed sensitivity and from a perspective of it being an asset. It SO is. If we follow it we can be guided to the perfect ways to bring our gifts to the world.

    AND…I LOVE your outfit in this video. That pantsuit is amazing – you look gorgeous!

    Much love lady!
    XoxHeather

  79. Marie, thank you for distinguishing between the anonymous critic and critic of those who know us work or live with us. It is sooo important.

    It is NOT the critic that counts, but the person that is in the “arena” doing the work, bravely. So when we receive the criticism, it is a moment to stop and smile to ourselves: it is because I’m DOING it. I’m daring greatly.

    I’m sure many people know the quote but it is worth bringing it into the picture here:

    “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
    The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
    whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
    who errs, who comes short again and again,
    because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
    but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;
    who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
    and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly”
    Roosevelt

    • I meant “critique of those”

      • Thank YOu Joanna – this is exactly waht i needed to hear right now! xo

  80. Ebony

    I am very sensitive but I had to tell my self that if can do something to better the situation then do my best but if this person shows me there is no possible way I can correct the situation then forget about it and move forward because I did my best. And try not take everything to the heart all the time

  81. Found my tribe in this video.
    Good to read t feed with HSPs comments.
    Thanks. Some good tips and relabelled self as a soft-shell soul.

  82. I just had a really Bitchy customer dump their crap on me at work yesterday – it is hard to control my reactions when this happens. I meditated on why this happens and it is to learn how to deal with my own bitchyness and to really feel remorse for the days I have ruined for others because of my foul moods and snippy comments. And also I realized that my own life isn’t in alignment with my dreams and values; my job doesn’t reflect my ablities and gifts. But until I grow and make changes, how do I handle my reactions? I seem to have no control. And as a Canadian I am expected to keep the peace when I feel like speaking my mind and standing up for myself. If it was my company, I would refuse service to that customer. Plus my boss is the extreme opposite and lets everything go, and he takes all the crap no matter what. So I am expected to do the same when I know in my soul this is wrong. Time for a new job perhaps….I will first talk to my boss cause I don’t agree with “the customer is always right” and putting financial success before integrity and fairness…nice place to sort this timely topic out!! thanks marie and crew!

  83. amy

    being sensitive is a blessing & a curse – hallelujah/dammit! the curse part makes me feel like this world is not for me which has caused me to attempt to leave it on a few occasions. the blessing of it let’s me realize that not everyone gets to see the world the way i do or to feel as passionately about things.
    i really loved today’s episode of marie tv for providing some tools to deal with situations where my sensitivity can wreak havoc on my mental state.

    speaking of skin – nice outfit today!

  84. Best video tape and advice ever Marie! Thank you always for sharing your advice and knowledge!!!

  85. Thank you for a wonderful episode, Marie!

  86. Sherry

    This is one I want to ponder and absorb deeply because I’ve always been a sensitive person — many would say and have said that I’m “too sensitive” or that I “care too much” and that I need to “toughen up” — so these suggestions are ones I take to heart as tools that may help me. Which is great because all my life I’ve felt like a big baby and condemned myself for being sensitive and caring as if that’s a bad thing! It’s not. And I like how Marie talked about being “smarter,” not tougher, especially in the way I start my day. I may try that one first!

    Side note: I totally thought you were in that room where you “stubbed” your toe, Marie! So it cracked me up to see the green screen during the goofy fun “behind the scenes” excerpts at the end. I was all, “She wasn’t actually in that room? I thought it was real! It looked real!” LOL. Well done, computer peeps.

  87. Ashley

    I’m always told I’m “too sensitive” and I don’t take criticism well. This is extremely helpful and makes me feel like I’m not “wrong” for wearing my heart on my sleeve!

    I will move forward knowing its them, not me and also be less of drama queen when I am criticized, Whatevs!!

    xxoxoxox

  88. Hands down that was me, not saying that in not anymore but i have to be more centered and like you said energy just past through me now. What have helped is put to learn to be present, grounded, to embody myself. That way my energy stay preety whole and when things happens to me now i take a few breaths and get centered. By practicing being in the now you will get stronger emotionally and your energy doesnt get drained. Hope this help.

  89. Hi Marie,

    This came at the perfect time!!!!! I just had a situation yesterday that consumed me and I wanted to figure out how to not let this persons energy take over but I couldn’t shake it. I am going to be sharing your video with my fellow FEA group members.

    I am a very sensitive person and that is why I am transitioning out of accounting to life coaching and motivational speaking. It feels so much better and is aligned with me. It fits perfectly with my sensitive self : )

    xoxoxo,

    Ashley

  90. I totally agree with you. It’s ok to have emotion. That’s what make you humain. The problem is that we don’t have enough sensitive people in the world. Feel it for 5 mins then shake it off and follow your bliss!

  91. Azzy

    Hello

    When emotions start to feel overwhelming, like feeling of being judged, being lame, etc…

    Two things help me…

    >Calmly feeling, the sensations of what I feel. It makes me more comfortable next time around.

    >Thinking about how many people love me and how much difference I am making/can make in their lives, starts to change the direction…

    Thank you
    Love you guys…

  92. Leah

    Thanks for your super solid suggestions, Marie! I used to get thrown around so much from the energies of others, and stayed home a lot to avoid that. I do much better now, but being conscious and specific about how I start my day is going to make SUCH A DIFFERENCE!

    Something I became aware of a few years ago that really helps is that the emotions I’m feeling when I’m out in the world aren’t necessarily even mine. It used to confuse me when I had an emotion that didn’t make sense to me, until I realized that I was picking up someone else’s, and unconsciously taking it on. Now I know to be more aware and consciously make that distinction.

    I’ve just discovered you a month or so ago, Marie, and I so love your high-powered videos. Always succinct and to the point, and I really enjoy your guests. It took me awhile to figure out what an ’80-year queue’ is, though. It’s the queue for the ‘bathroom on the right’, right???

  93. Marie – get outta my head!
    Seriously, this has been a ‘hot topic’ for me lately, and I keep getting drawn in the direction of learning more about managing my high level of sensitivity (and not just stuffing it down or feeling it means I’m damaged).
    I’ve suspected I’m an HSP and quite probably an empath for some time, but hadn’t really looked into it or reached out to others about it until recently. And then BOOM – one of my very favorite visionaries (you) is discussing it! I love kismet.
    One of the things I’m learning is a good practice for me, especially in the beginning of my day, is quiet time with my animals. I have house bunnies, and they are extremely gentle, loving, devoted souls. I find I can tune in to their vibes and emotions, and it’s extremely grounding for me, because so often an animal’s emotions are just so pure.
    Meditation is also key (and I’m not great at being consistent about it – working on that, and thank you for the reminder that my personal important stuff is the most important to work on first!
    XOXO!

  94. Jennifer

    This is what i needed. For one of my biggest inspirations to say its ok to be sensative, you are fine. I have had a tough going these past couple weeks and my emotions are taking a toll, that punch to the gut feeling seems to be a daily thing. I now know I’ve been dealing with this completly wrong. My thoughts have been my worst enemy, making me feel like there is something wrong with me that i will never get over my anxiety.
    Self care has always been part of my daily practice and was happy to hear that be one of Marie’s suggestions. And I absolutely love the take five and say buh-bye i will be keeping this advice into consideration from now on!

  95. Pantothenic

    It’s sometimes a fight for me to stay sensitive while remaining strong. Marie’s thing about feeling it totally w/o mentally interpreting it is cool—it can be a chore sometimes. I find having an outlet and having someone supportive around who will be a sounding board can often help, it helps provide closure to an issue or criticism.

  96. I’m going to try the Take-Five and say buh-bye, I love that idea! I have tried to shut down my emotions, for many years, in the past, and instead of “toughening” me up, it led to burn out and depression. It was from hearing so often “You’re too sensitive” or some version, always said very sarcastically. Then I realized that many people are sensitive, and we have our place, too, our purpose. And that by trying to deny your sensitivity, you are erasing your Self. It is difficult, in a place where a lot of people are throwing negativity around, but I’m going to try the Take five – I think that sounds wonderful. And I’m going to watch this video more than once (including as a way to start the morning with positivity).

  97. Hi Marie,

    I am sensitive too. What I do, is to make sure I’m strategic with who I spend my time with AND I notice my energy levels after the meeting.

    Katie 🙂

  98. Marie, thank you SO much for talking about sensitivity!! I am a life coach who specializes in working with highly sensitive women and it makes my heart so happy to see more people talking about it as the gift that it is! Your message in today’s video is so important and so needed! XO

  99. Kimberley Mulla

    Hi Marie! Your video arrived in my inbox at a perfect time! Thank you! Like so many who have commented here I have always been sensitive. As a child I was heavily criticized for it and it wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I started to appreciate it as a strength and asset. Now as a mother, I am trying to teach my children to embrace their natural sensitivities and strong empathy they feel for the world. We have had the most success with embracing a minimalist life. Less stuff, less media (except some Marie TV!), less busy. This has lead to more time, more money (although that wasn’t the goal), more emotional space, more freedom over my work, more time as a family enjoying our favourite hobbies. The less I feel tied to consuming, the less I’m affected by that which doesn’t serve my purpose.

    Thanks again for your inspiration! Kimberley

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      That’s amazing, Kimberley. Making space for the good stuff in life!

    • Really great advice Kimberley – I’ve had a strong feeling/urge to minimalize/pare down over the last few years too- I somehow knew it could be necessary. Thanks for the little bit of affirmation! 🙂

  100. Hi Marie,

    Phew! So glad you covered this topic today! I am uber sensitive and it drove me bonkers until I discovered that by being sensitive means is a rare gift and that’s the reason why I do the things I do which is coaching others and giving them the empathy, love and support because it made me realize my strengths instead of calling it as a weakness.

    I love you so much! Cheers to sensitivity!

    Hazel xo

  101. Barbara

    “Take-Five and say buh-bye!” Love it, and will definitly use it!

    I’ve been told by several people that I am way too sensitive, and what’s worse, I’ve recently been told my daughters are “very sensitive” too. I combat that sickening feeling by telling myself wholeheartedly that “I’d take sensitive daughter any day over insensitive daughters”. Thanks for serving it up the way you did, Marie!

  102. I loved this video! I try to do exactly as you say – although the example with hurting your foot, really made me realize how much I dramatize some issues… when in fact I should just feel it for 5 and then say bye! – uber cool phrase!

    I actually read in some magazine that Jennifer Aniston does this: when she feels sad/bad/negative she decides to “grief” for one day and then just move on. But on that day she cries, screams, watches crappy TV, eating ice cream…and then, the next day, life goes on like nothing ever happened.

    At first I was skeptic about this…but then I tried it and it really works! My only issue is accepting it and actually have a grief day. I feel sometimes that “I am wasting time” or that “I should be working, fulfilling my dreams, not crying or feeling all the pain”, but I know it’s just my coping mechanism of self-protection – it’s really hard “feeling all” – and I tend to be very superficial with some aspects – cause I just want things to speed up.

    I do hope I am not the only one :)) but if I am – well, I am just special :))

    Thanks for the weekly inspiration, Marie 🙂

    • Roswitha, what I hear is that in taking a “grief” day, you are giving your sensitive self the time and space to settle, and let the overwhelm pass. Which is what it’s all about. And what I do, too! So no, you are not the only one!

  103. I love the idea of considering the source! As a highly sensitive person I was continually berated by a cruel and unkind mother my entire childhood and into adulthood. While it’s so easy to fall into the belief that whatever others say about you (particularly what your mother says!) must be true, once I realized the things she told me were a reflection on her own insecurities and personal beliefs and had little to do with me, I was able to move past the hurt and truly embrace and appreciate my sensitive nature. And now I’m passing on those lessons to my daughter, who’s another sensitive soul! Thanks for sharing, Marie.

  104. Once again spot on Marie! I use a term “handle your handle.” In helping others create a path of peace in life … Everything comes down to “feeling” it. Knowing that we are pushed and pulled on our paths, it’s equally important to know we can’t cling to or block these feelings …. Knowing may win the battle, but feeling wins the war. Many Blessings, Kevin.

  105. Naomi

    Thanks for sharing this today Marie; it spoke to me on so many levels. I’m a sensitive person and get pretty emotional at times. I’ve more or less come to terms with my sensitivity (but still wish I wouldn’t burst into tears in public!).

    Right now I’m really struggling to let go of a situation that occurred at work during the past year. It was ongoing for about 7 months and finally culminated with some really nasty false accusations being made against me. I am having trouble moving past that situation, yet I believe that I need to forgive before I will be able to start loving my job once again. I’m just really struggling with the forgiveness part!

    • Naomi, I have to say that I think forgiveness (at least of other people) is over-rated!

      I have had a few very nasty things happen in my life. For quite a while, I tried to forgive, everyone and everything; well, everyone and everything except myself. So maybe the place to start is to focus on putting that energy into forgiving yourself.

      For me, once I got good at that forgiving myself thing, I started to find I was more forgiving of others, including a male family member I thought I would NEVER forgive because of what he did to me.

      Like the air stewardesses say, put your own oxygen mask on first before you try to help others! Hope this helps.

      • Naomi

        I have never thought about forgiving myself. Thanks for mentioning that Deborah. It’s something that I will need to look into deeper.

  106. this was great! I also do two more things; one, I try to remember as quickly as possible to lean into the experience and feelings, and two, also remember that feelings are not always truth, i can feel something deeply, however, it may not be an accurate or trustworthy feeling. I sometimes instead need to use my feelings as a flag and a guide to get curious and see what is going on with me that is causing those feelings.

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Sandy, that’s a great extra tip. Thank you for sharing!

  107. Debi

    That was Wonderful and so helpful! Thank you Marie! I have an “interesting” situation at home. I live with TV watchers who enjoy Lou’s shows with sirens and people yelling. Small area, often 2 different tv’s and shows are being watched at the same time. Add that to living right next to a very busy and loud train station, bus station, etc, and yikes, my nerves get zangled. Yes, I said zangled. It’s my new word for the day. I’m feeling slightly creative because right this minute, there are no tv’s on and it is glorious! I’m savoring it! And coining new words 🙂

    So I want to get up early, but the TV goes on as soon as my “husband” heads downstairs to start his day before he leaves for work. News is not my idea of a woo-hoo and/or peaceful day to start a day. I need to solve this for myself. After much thought, I think the best solution is going to be to move out, into my own place, where I can start my day and end my night in non-zangleness! After 31 years of trying to please and appease husbands (2, 1 at a time, ha) and 5 kids, I think it’s time for me to create a home space I enjoy and hit the restart button on life.
    Blessings and joy!
    With much gratitude!!
    Debi

  108. Be who you are, not who others think you should be. Nuff said.

  109. Rodrigo

    Thank you Cathrine for such a great question and thank you Marie for answering it! As an empath one book that has helped me greatly is Don Miguel Ruiz, “The Four Agreements.” To all other sensitive souls as myself, I highly recommend it. Blessings to all 😉

  110. Hi Marie and Team Forleo,

    The Q today sounds like it came from me. I hate the fact that I’m sensitive and I have really ‘toughened’ up to prevent my sensitive self getting hurt.

    I feel as though I can either be really sensitive or tough. There is no in between. My tough side means I’m rarely effected by others and although I’m always a nice person, my tough attitude is a bit like a ‘bitch’ or ‘diva’.

    My sensitive side feels like lamb to the slaughter. I feel as though the world can smell how sensitive and ‘weak’ I am and just take advantage – so that’s why I choose to be tough instead.

    I am still very receptive to other person energy’s and I know this is a gift, because it helps to keep me in a good place and can also help me to make decisions to.

    Thanks Marie, you’ve given me a lot to think about

    Naomi

  111. Trishyk

    Your content just keeps getting better. This article was the best yet. Very timely. This came on a morning when I had, had a sleepless night because of someone’s criticism. It was eating me up. This helped me to see it for what it really was. Thanks for being you Marie. Xx

  112. Luciana

    Great tweetable, Marie!

  113. I’ve been a sensitive soul since I can remember, but because I’m open, direct, honest and outgoing, not everyone realizes it. One question I find useful when I feel emotionally overloaded is: “does this belong to me?” As a sensitive person, I pick up on — and often channel — many other’s emotions. So when I find myself feeling angry, upset, frustrated, etc. I stop and see if it’s something that is actually bothering me or whether I’m just hanging on to someone else’s cow patty for them. Usually, it’s the latter, which makes it easy to let go!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Sarah, what a great tool to use for filtering out others’ emotions. Thanks for sharing that!

    • Reeta

      Thanks Sarah, deffo will be using this! 🙂

  114. Jennifer

    Dear Marie and team, great video this week on sensitivity. I, too am a Highly sensitve person, and for most of life this has been hard. However, I am very intuitive and feel that my sensitivity is also a gift. My practices of writing, meditation, yoga all help me. And great shows like yours helps too! Thanks for all you do! love, Jennifer

  115. My favourite Q&A Tuesday so far! Has NOTHING to do the fact Marie is rockin my Crybaby mug on her side table… No, nothing to with that 😉

    Hahaha! So thrilled!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Yes!!! So darn cute. 🙂

  116. Ah… SPOT ON!!! I am a sensitive person and can stew and stew and then I go out and poll my friends… I loved this Q&A Marie. Thanks for giving me a little perspective. I was always “too sensitive” growing up so you’ve helped me start to get over a whole LIFE of being pegged as such.

  117. Marie – THANK YOU for bring this up! You Rock! I am a sensitive person, and all my life, all I’ve heard is “you’re so sensitive” and “toughen up!” I know they were coming from a place of caring, but the comments made me feel like there was something wrong with me. It took me a while to embrace my sensitive soul and think of it as a gift. One of the resources was reading HSP by Dr. Elaine Aron. Seeing it in the positive lens has changed my life and has empowered me to become my best self. Shared the post on my social media channels. 🙂 Keep up the awesome work you are doing!

  118. Thank you so much for answering this question Marie I soooooo relate to this. I love the feel for 5min then bye bye, I for sure am going to be using that one. One of the things I do that I find helps is I’m careful about what I read, watch and listen to so that it doesn’t bring me down.

  119. Thank you Marie – so glad you tackled it – the world is opening up to the sensitive nature of the soul and some of us are more sensitive than others. And its ok, actually a gift. A gift that when we embrace it – magic happens. Wonderful to see a high profile person with an amazing reach into the world create more appreciation around this gift. Thanks again, with love, Maria xx

  120. Oh my goodness, such a great episode and so timely, after I recover emotionally after being impacted my people with narcissist tendencies over the past few days (and this is coming from someone who has had lots of practice with this).

    I absolutely love the tips that you have provided and they are all ones that I try to do too 🙂 The only other tip that I would mention when considering your source (incase others are also regularly dealing with people who are narcissist or toxic) – is to be mindful of the fact that many people don’t have the gift of sensitivity and are in fact built the opposite way. They are often unable to step out of themselves and put themselves in someone else’s shoes. They are also unable to have a constructive dialogue – as the conversation isn’t about understanding each other and moving forward, but is about being right, defending yourself, attacking the other person and using every trick in the book to do so (including lies). I have become much better at identifying people who are like this (especially when it’s people I can’t avoid, like in family situations or at work) and have put in place strategies to protect my energy or sensitivity. For example, spending less time with them or limiting opportunities for when they can impact on me, managing my expectations when it comes to having a dialogue with them, using our dialogue and experiences as an opportunity to learn for next time, and being my own hero when being bullied or intimidated.

    Plus I just remember that if these things didn’t upset me occasionally – I’d be concerned. It’d show me that I lost my sensitivity and my ability to care so deeply. I’d be coming more like those people who can’t step outside of themselves or who have narcissistic tendencies (or a perhaps full blown narcissists.

    x

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Absolutely, Naomi, and I love what you shared around setting up boundaries and really having internal red flags for people who don’t get the quality of sensitivity and perhaps spending less time with them.

      So glad this episode resonated with you!

    • Naomi

      Hi Naomi ~ Thanks for sharing this your strategies. You described some of the people that I deal with in my job to a ‘T’, and I am struggling to respectfully stand up for myself. Due to our age differences (these people are old enough to be my grandparents) and the fact that I was raised to be respectful (which is a good thing!) as well as my sensitive nature, I often allow things to go too far instead of speaking up and insisting on being treated respectfully.

      • Oh Naomi, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I know how horrible it can be. I’m not sure if it helps, but with practice you will get better at it – especially when you’re so aware of what is happening. Thinking of you.

  121. Consider the source is one I closely follow now. A wise friend taught me that and he learned it from a cop. I also try to realize and hear what a person is actually saying vs. my interpretation of it. I often think people are criticizing me when in fact there is just a problem they are trying to solve.

    Though it takes much reflection and training to really put this into action. My emotions are sooooo strong, stronger than my brain.

    • Naomi

      Oh, that is so me, Sophia. I can take things way to personally. Let me know if you figure out a magic solution (other than real-life practice). 😉

  122. hillary

    wow this was like you were talking right to me. I am SO sensitive and am working so hard to toughen up. it’s SO HARD!

  123. Fantastic and timely video Marie! Our Sunday meditation group was just talking about this. Of course I am sharing your video with them.

    I’ve been trying to get my blog audience to participate more since B-School (share, comment, visit more, etc.), but when I heard about some of the negative feedback one of the group had to deal with, it made me wonder if I had a thick enough skin to not take things personally. So yay for your timing. Of course I’ll focus on manifesting loving and light-filled comments, which I am ready for. But these two occasions have helped me prepare for the others, should the need arise.
    Blessings!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Beautiful, Dominique. So grateful to hear that.

  124. Bleugh, Thrown for a loop this morning in an argument about renewing the passports that was plainly a lack of communication…..thats all. Still felt slighted a lunch time but spent an hour in that garden and nature fixed my mojo! I felt so much better for an hour of ending green things.

  125. Wendy

    Thanks so much for this episode, it was very timely for me! I was able to recognize a lesson in a recent experience of my own in the answer you gave to Katherine. Love your work, thank you for sharing it with the world.

  126. Chris

    I always said God gave me too many feelings! I now know that you can build emotional muscle by mostly letting go. A hard thing to do consciously, but it can be done with practices like meditation combined with something like FasterEFT. Which is the way I did it. Also, when you first wake up before you even open your eyes imagine your self in the future where you are feeling great. Concentrate on the “feeling words” as this is how we speak to our subconscious mind, show it what you want. This sets you up for the day and gives clear instructions on how you want to feel. The subconscious mind is not logical, you’ve analysed and reasoned all your life, but it’s made no difference so try this. This is working for me. My husband said, whatever you are doing keep it up! Our relationship and my family interactions are now so much happier and even, heaven forbid, fun! My sensitivity has reduced dramatically, yet I am now more confident, compassionate and understanding, I am no longer in my own painful feelings. I still have a way to go, but at least I know I am going in the right direction on the right path for a change. I hope this helps you too.

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Chris, thank you for your lovely share. It’s very in line with an episode we did with Danielle LaPorte a little while ago. I’m popping the link in below, in case you haven’t seen that one yet — I think you’ll LOVE it.

      http://www.marieforleo.com/2013/12/danielle-laporte-goals-desire/

      Good for you for finding something that works for you, and then practicing it regularly.

  127. Akisha

    I’m not super sensitive in general but I can be from time to time. What I do is consider the source and I also say what I’m grateful for and put myself in a happy state. Sometimes I listen to good music or just play my instruments for awhile until I feel better. I’m a songwriter so sometimes when I’m feeling like crap I just turn my sound recording on and sing whatever comes to mind and it ends up being a good song with a lot of emotion 😛

  128. Kim

    Thanks Marie for another excellent lesson filled with Love and Humor. My life really did shift for the better when I could take constructive advise, like from my boss, and let the nasty negativity, like from a rude person, roll right off me. I am sensitive and compassiobate. But a huge list fe lesson came when I realized that many people lack the skills in delivering direction. So I made the decision to align myself with a company and colleagues that collaborate and support one another. Now I can learn to be better in my career which in turn allows me to be super successful and have be a pleasant empowering interaction rather than a kick in the pants.

    Thanks
    Kim

  129. “Forgive and delete and MoveOn.org”–hahaha, I love you.

    As a highly sensitive person, I’ve found that the most valuable thing that I can do to stay peaceful is to put myself first. Self-care is my number one priority, and when I am grounded and well-nourished I find that I am able to observe the comments and criticism of others with more of an objective compassion rather than a fearful defensiveness. I keep my cup full before I attempt to fill anyone else’s cup, and I listen to my body and honor when it’s time to walk away or say no to something that doesn’t feel right.
    I am also practicing recognizing that any negativity that someone directs towards me is actually just a call for love that is stemming from their own personal insecurities and fears. It’s not about me. So I do my best to remember that they are more than this moment of asshattery, and that the most beneficial thing that I can do for both of us is to not respond back with anything but love and understanding. (Feeling what I feel first, of course, rather than stuffing it away to explode later.)
    Another thing that has helped me greatly is shifting the way I look at being a sensitive person. I’m choosing the see it as a GIFT, because that’s exactly what it is! I see the world differently than most of the people around me, and by living from this place of authenticity and self-love, my sensitivity becomes a source of light and inspiration for everyone that I come across. Being sensitive allows me to be truly present with whoever I am with, to see them exactly as they are, and to truly listen to them from my heart. As long as I have my healthy energetic boundaries in place, and am living from a place of being grounded and centered, my presence is my gift to the world. Simply by being me, I am spreading my light to the world.
    🙂

  130. Safaa xo

    I am a highly sensitive person, but after getting rid of the toxic and negative people in my life, I have changed a lot. I can no longer keep things in, so my poor best friend is my “Venting machine” lol. I vent via message and she reads my emotions as they poor out in words. after i have written and sent her a good 10 messages I feel better. jokes apart even that has to change some how, so perhaps venting out in a journal will come soon.

    once I let it out, that’s it i get over it before a new day starts. Now its getting to the stage that within an hour after any words or situations have come my way i get over it and move on.

    It is paramount to not take things personal and its so hard not to. But I am training myself to do just that and smile. Learn to forgive so I am not bound to others in anyway, New day new opportunities and better things coming my way. Its all a learning process…can hurt and anger one but hay ho we live n learn.

    I do agree that being sensitive is a gift and it should be cherished and not buried, masked or changed.

    🙂

  131. Hi Marie, this is my first time commenting on one of your videos but I have watched so many and loved EVERY SINGLE ONE!! This one in particular resonates with me. I have been told all of my life to “toughen up!” by the people that are closest to me. People that know me well see that I feel everything so strongly (put my heart and soul into everything I do) and take everything to heart. Another thing that goes hand in hand with being highly sensitive is that it gives me so much insight into what other people are feeling even when they may not even realize it themselves. This tends to make my life a daily roller coaster of emotions and something that I have had to work on constantly with my self development. Being able to step aside and evaluate those feelings and categorize which ones are valuable to me and which ones belong to someone else is one of the hardest things I have had to learn. Watching your video today makes me realize just how far I have come with this process and given me the inspiration to embrace this side of me and use it to my advantage rather than try to squish it altogether. Thank you.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much for sharing this, Kerry! I’m so glad you’re embracing your sensitive side. So many wonderful things come as a result of sensitivity: empathy, compassion, the ability to experience life more wholesomely, and more. 🙂

  132. Kristy

    Thank you so much for this one. I watch Marie TV every week but have never felt drawn to post anything – until now. I’ve been fighting against being ‘too sensitive’ my whole life – to be able to see it as a strength, and to practice honing it, rather than resisting it, really has changed my whole outlook. I’ll be sure to put some practices in place to cultivate it, rather than shut down my heart. Thank you again.

  133. This touched me enough to make a comment… never have before.
    In my work with clients, being sensitive means I can feel their stuck energy shifting and clearing, even in a Skype session. Tapping (EFT) is also super helpful for getting me out of a rut, even when I have to drag myself by the collar to begin.

  134. Monica

    Hi Marie! Tuesdays are fast becoming my favorite day of the week. Your Q&A videos seem to always be exactly what I need to hear on that day.

    I am also highly sensitive and have fallen into the cycle of poor self-care so this is the exact reminder I needed to see today to get back on track to taking care of me first.

    My morning routine used to be to get, stretch, do some Tai Chi, and then list 10 things I am grateful for and allow myself to really fill myself up with gratitude. I have fallen out of this routine. Time to start this again.

    Thank you again for sharing your wisdom with the world. Happy 4th to everyone.

  135. Haven’t even watched the video yet but already tearing up.. have had a bit of an overwhelm lately with tapping into some seriously negative energy fields & immediately resonated with your title. Feeling introverted & vaulnerable, where as usually my skin is a littler tougher & can handle a lot more. Looking forward to reading & seeing todays episode 🙂 Thank you for all your support & contribution!

  136. Nature! I am super sensitive, and nature grounds me. I live in the wilderness in the Pacific Northwest, so I get a lot of grounding. I need it with raising three kids, and being an educator, where I interact with lots of people all the time!

  137. Alison

    I got thrown by an unsolicited negative comment recently at a dinner among new acquaintances. At the time, I took it personally, as if the person ‘had it in for me’. As my heart raced, I managed to utter a few sentences about my business rationale to set them straight (“my research shows there’s definitely a market for this service”). I tried humour (“have you got the same idea?!”) When I was accused of being sensitive and defensive, I tried candour by telling them I was answering their question and it would be great if they heard my answer. In retrospect, I realise I shouldn’t have engaged their negativity, which was just their regular social awkwardness and not a personal attack. I knew they were a bit peculiar from the beginning. Next time, I’ll not get into business idea discussions with those I consider ‘off key’ and I’ll direct my ‘sensitivity smarts’ at the market I’m aiming to capture. Considering the source is key, I agree.

  138. Great episode Marie! Just wanted to share my techniques as well. I also love watching something inspiring as I’m working out in the morning (in the comfort of my living room) – TED talks are a great one and I see others are also starting their day that way! And I also meditate after I get to the clinic, but before I see my first patient, to protect myself from any negative energies (I’m a reproductive acupuncturist-which I LOVE, but my patients are going through a lot and it’s important to shield myself energetically so I can remain open to properly take care of them). I’ve also noticed over time that I’m very visual, so I don’t watch the news as it can get me too riled up. Listening to NPR seems to be much better (although it still gets me to cry at times, depending on what they’re discussing!). So I think paying attention to how you get your information and what’s the best way for you to connect with your community can also be helpful (everyone is different, so just notice what gets you worked up and leaves you feeling drained afterwards-and consider avoiding that type of activity in the morning).

  139. hilda ayala

    That’s me , thanks for your advice

  140. wendy becker

    Great advice Marie thank you. I spent years being a sensitive and thinking “what’s wrong with me” but the upside as a result of this is i’ve been on a big journey to strengthen and empower myself.
    To keep my heart open and stay strong i stay present in the moment and keep my heart connected to the heart of the Earth. Bringing in Earth energy and expressing Gratitude multiple times throughout the day I have found is a very beneficial strengthener.
    Also learning to understand first is Thought then comes Emotion. So being aware and mindful of my thinking and choosing the thoughts that support creating my reality/what i want to experience in my world is also very beneficial
    A key phrase im learning to live by is:
    “Thought influences Matter…so what Matters to me”
    One more important strengthener for me has been the intention:
    “I am the Absolute Authority of my Sacred Space”. Intending absolute authority from a loving heart has been very powerful for me.
    I find living from an open heart takes Courage but i make the choice daily to live and experience life from the Love of my True Self and wouldnt have it any other way. love Wendy

  141. Hi Marie…I always love your videos. I can’t say that I’m exactly sensitive but the criticism can hurt. If I receive criticism, you are so right…to slow it down and think about it. Sometimes that’s not the easiest, so often times my safe (and kind) response is, “but that’s just me.” When someone critiques me, it can feel like they are trying to change something about me or my work, but I can take it back immediately just by owning it, unabashedly. It holds off that moment of discomfort and gets me through the feeling with four simple words. I totally agree with asking yourself if there’s any truth. The best lessons can come from criticism. Thanks for a another helpful video. I especially liked the feel it to heal it. xo

  142. Bitature Zeus

    Well well I first take this opportunity to kindly thank this show for the work they
    Have put together. .its awesome yes..it is
    I said it..
    Well ..what can say ..the truth is I really need help
    To get more educated. .so that I can be able to fit
    Is such amazing programs..
    But I thank the almighty I never fail to say anything although my
    Education..law status does not led me anywhere..but it makes feel
    Better I can still share something with you out there.
    ..to my comment is..I believe in GOD..and so possitive..
    I hate giving up. ..try keep trying. .don’t give its my way through.
    Negative thoughts ain’t my things..depending on what kind of convesation….
    Sharing ideas its lovely .it gets you qupt

  143. Emota

    Dear Marie,
    you are wonderful – all my admiration to you!!!
    I was thinking, that all the wisdom you say on your video, if we could also have a transkript on each video – I would really appreciate.
    Might you always be happy and wise for the coming infinity.
    All the best Emota

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Hi, Emota! If you check out the videos on YouTube, they have a transcript option there. We upload all the transcripts for the videos there. 🙂

  144. Joanne Rose

    Wow! Perfectly timed video yet again. I am a sensitive soul and was recently approaching a select group of people who had some previous minor success in the 80’s to do a paid cameo in a TV pilot I created. I spoke with a woman who expressed interest and had me call her. We were on the phone for over an hour and she seemed really sweet and asked me to call her any time and we cracked jokes and she wanted to meet up. I sent her the script and she was happy to do a cameo. I asked if I could add her picture to my marketing materials and she was all for it. And then I noticed she unfriended me on Facebook all of a sudden weeks later. I was taken aback. I wrote to her wondering what happened and she claimed she did not agree to anything??? I reminded her about the above and she decided to tell me I am “using” her. I could not believe it. She wouldn’t accept my friendship request either. I wrote her a caring email and told her I was confused. She continued to be cold. Your video today helped me understanding things. Thank you so much. I have since learnt this woman has a drug history and was recently in jail and lost full custody of her daughter. Thank you, Universe for doing me a favor.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Oh gosh, what a stressful and confusing situation! I’m glad the Universe had your back and was watching out for you. It sounds like it could’ve snowballed into a tough work relationship.

  145. Thanks for this topic. However I am SO sensitive that friends and friends of friends often come to me to read their energy, which I’m generally dead on. This has been a huge asset for my life coaching business as instinct plays a huge role in how I guide a client. I’m pretty secretive with my clients on this issue as I don’t wasn’t to scare them off. I have practical tools, just a little help from some unknown force. My biggest issue is that I’m SO sensitive I can’t turn it off! If I’m on the NYC subway and someone is feeling depressed, anxious, in their head, etc. basically unless they are sleeping, I can’t always turn it off in a public place. Any if ice? Thank you!

    • wendy becker

      I hear you as i too use my intuition and sensitivity to tune into peoples fields to assist them with whole body balance. I couldnt imagine anything worse than a NY subway being with all those people. I actually had to move out of Sydney to a place 2 hours up the coast to be near the beaches, bush with clean air and peace – i absolutely adore it. And i do my consults by phone because i am able to get the clients priorities thru their Higher Wisdom /Self so am not needing to be face to face.
      A good thing is to be able to return peoples energy back to them and the visual i have come up with for that is to a image a giant satalite dish that is a reflective mirror. I intend that any of their thoughts and their draining energy is bounced back to them. So i stay connected to my heart, connected to the Earth and just be me. If i was in a confined space like a train i would make sure i had my field pulled in closer around me and probably fill my field with gold and have maybe a purple shield and then the reflective mirror. xo

  146. Hey, everyone, it was a pleasure to watch the Q&A this week! Somehow I have always known that Marie is sensitive lol but I have always seen it as a good thing! Being sensitive is not only about being hurt and influenced by other’s emotions, it’s about being able to express yours, be genuine and connect with people.

    It took me a while to understand this though. In business school when they asked us to identify our strengths and weaknesses, I always used to put my sensitivity as a weakness but nobody cared to bother and tell me that it is not actually a weakness. Well, it might be, if I let it take over my life and behaviour but now I am learning to just “feel it for 5” as Marie says in the video. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t work. It also greatly helps me to know that the way people behave is not about me, it’s about them which actually allows me to understand they drives and motivation on a deeper level.

    While working as a teacher my sensitivity was of great help when working with children and their parents, and now, as a designer and copywriter it allows me to “feel” my work and give more of myself to deliver great results.

    It’s tough though as some people are just plain mean 🙂 But as Oscar Wilde says “Life is too important to be taken seriously”

  147. Wow! I read the preview when I opened up my email before heading into work and thought this would be a great before bed treat to end my day. But this resonated with me on so many levels I can’t even begin to explain. That’s why I say “wow”.

    “Don’t shut down your heart or develop some protective armor to protect yourself from a cruel world” – Bam! I always thought all my life that is what I had to do but that solution didn’t feel right within me – this one does. My “sensitivity is a sign of strength”. I believed it but now I have confirmation. On some days when I have to speak publicly or do other projects I feel are beyond me you’ll find me in isolation curled up in a ball. It’s usually because my head is filled with what I think others will be thinking of me – which is the absolute worst. This session (as I call them) inspires me to want to uncurl myself from that miserable ball and face every challenge dealt to me and grow my well of sensitivity because it is indeed a gift and a rare powerful force in this universe.

    Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I can so relate to everything you shared here. I’m so glad you see your sensitivity as a gift because that’s what it is. It’s hard to imagine life as a non-sensitive person!

  148. Karen

    I am highly sensitive to poople’s energy, tone, facial expressions, etc. I am also sensitive to loud sounds & need a lot of quiet.

    However my job is high stress as I am a Cashier in a grocery store. At the time I needed work & my employer helped me a lot with my anxiety. I

    I subscribe to a few newsletters & audios which help a lot. I go to work an hour early to read or meditate to calm me. I have worked with a few life coaches & have a good support system.

    I take less medicine for anxiety & depression now with the help of my doctor. I ask for help when I need it, mostly.

    Elaine Aron’s book “The Highly Sensitive Person” helped me a lot too.

    Thanks Marie 🙂

  149. Toni

    Funny! I receive emails all the time. I usually overlook non-business emails. Today was different! All I can say is thank you, thank you, and thank you! This video, needless to say, was a sign to an unspoken question for the universe!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s wonderful, Toni! I’m so glad the universe spoke to you today and sent you just what you were looking for. 🙂

  150. Thank you Marie! I like to shake it off – shaking my whole body or doing some EFT on any meaning I’m attaching to it, eg ‘I’m not good enough’

    x

  151. Hey Marie en Marie tribe,

    This episode is great! Just in time to stop me starting world war Z with my neighbors over a fence. A fence? Yes. But you stopped it! So thank you!

    Love from Holland,
    Karen

  152. Lisa

    Oh I heart this vid and wisdom- thank you Marie. I am a sensitive soul and it has (and still does) cause me some issues.. However I’m starting to harness the gifts which accompany this trait, such as being fab at jobs with people, being empathetic and experiencing life in a very rich way. It helps me when I’m ruminating over what someone said to ask myself questions like; ‘what was really their intention? – to help me or hurt me?’ The answers vary but as I get older it becomes a little easier to let things go either way. I also find emersing myself in things I lobe takes me away (usually) from rumination or if I’m just to mad or caught up in it to write a letter to the person to vent then not send it (this definitely helps).. Sometimes I’ve even found soft ways to tell people when I’ve felt uncomfortable about something, though this I find quite hard still.. It also helps me to have read and learned (through reading books like ‘the highly sensible person’ and the work of Susan Cain) that as a sensitive person and introvert my brain and nervous system are a little different to those who don’t share these traits, so this encourages me to embrace it as its part of me. Lastly, having these traits has enabled me to help others with the same and to look at how to use them wisely. I shall also share forward your wonderful smarten up tips thank you! Xx

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I love the idea of asking yourself what the person’s intention was! You’re so right that that’s a key. There are always going to be well-intentioned people who just aren’t good communicators who may accidentally hurt you, or vice versa, but knowing someone’s intentions really helps. Awesome insight!

  153. Kare

    Hi Marie,

    Love your upbeat and informative videos!

    I, too, am a highly sensitive person. What I have found is helpful when I get that “puched in the gut” feeling from something done or said to me is to write about my feelings regarding the situation. This practice helps me quickly feel better and move on.

    Kare 🙂

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Writing is such a great cathartic practice. I think people who don’t naturally like to write are intimidated by the idea, but it really does work! Thanks for sharing this with us. 🙂

  154. premlall

    what you will achieve and internalise inwardly will change your outer life and image. This is just a reminder pl.

  155. Feel it for 5, then say buh-bye! Love it! Thanks for another great episode Marie!

  156. I loved your advice, esp the one not to feel it in your head… jst from the heart. Our hearts are filled with Love and so its not going to make you feel ‘bad’ for a longer time.
    Prolonged suffering only comes from the head!

  157. starr

    Thank you for your gentle ways to approach real life situations. I just love what you do.

  158. Dear Marie, this video seems so apt and well-timed for me! Being in the throes of negative energy at work, emanating especially from one person, I now am going to take your tips. Most importantly, I am going to stop looking up social media first thing in the morning. Thank You marie !

  159. Kadee

    I feel blessed to have started my morning today with this episode of MarieTV and the great comments everyone has shared.

    I am a HSP and have felt it to be a weakness not a

    I tend to get up and jump right into my work, emails, social media etc. and though I have prioritized exercise, and eating healthy as part of that, my mornings are fast paced non-stop work until lunch. By lunch I am usually pretty exhausted and depleted which makes the rest of the afternoon very challenging.

    I am doing my best to resist jumping right into my email and social media this morning, hahaha! This is going to take some practice, but I love the idea of taking back my power, protecting my sensitive energy and setting up my day how I want to.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I love how you said that: taking back your power. I hadn’t thought of it like that, but that’s exactly what it is! Thanks so much for sharing your insights with us. 🙂

  160. Kadee

    Oops didn’t mean to hit enter yet. I used to view my being highly sensitive as a weakness not the incredible strength that it is.

    I am in charge of my experiences/feelings now instead of feeling victimized and out of control.

    I still struggle with negative energy and confrontations but strategies like Marie has shared help so much and take the power back from the person or situation so it no longer has control over you and how you feel and for me, no longer keeping me affected/trapped by negative/energy or feelings for an indeterminate amount of time. Losing sleep having anxiety and becoming physically ill from these things are mostly a thing of the past.

    I am excited to see more positive results the more I implement these strategies from this awesome and perfectly timed video.

    Thank you Marie and team and all who have shared comments.

  161. Great show!
    A couple of things to share: A MUST READ–Untethered Soul. Let things pass on through. I sometimes visualize a shower or a stream of water….Don’t take it in and make the negative emotions have a place to root! So many of us are creatives–we see the world very differently and quite honestly, sensitively. It is what gives us unique perspectives and it is truly, as Marie says, a strength. In design school, we have project reviews from nearly day one. Great reviews with teachers and experts will include things like, “your color choices would be more successful and impactful if…..” Not so helpful is “you will never make a living doing this work.” I have heard panelists give both–to me and my classmates. Every time you hear something like this it’s really a test–to see how grounded you are in your faith in yourself.

  162. Suzy Wilson

    T H A N K Y O U S O M U C H M A R I E [{BIG HUG}]

  163. Jenn

    Wow, what a great video! And I also got a lot out of reading all the comments–thanks to everyone for sharing what works! I’m a recording artist, an extremely HSP, and for a long time I didn’t consider the sensitive part to be an asset. There’s a lot of rejection, criticism, and just plain mean-spirited people in the entertainment biz, and I used to feel that my ‘thin-skin’ was a major disadvantage. Every time that I tried to toughen up and be more like thicker-skinned people, is usually ended with me spiraling into an emotional black hole, feeling more defeated than ever.

    Then a friend told me about Elaine Aron’s “The Highly Sensitive Person,” and I really related to what I read in that book. I also found myself drawn more and more to other HSP in friendships and through my career. It was such a relief to find more people who could relate to all the challenges of being a HSP.

    What ended up being really cool is that I came to see my sensitivities as being an amazing gift. After all, the reason I could write such evocative music, is because of how deeply I feel things, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything! Also, I feel that being a HSP gives me a special kind of radar to help detect the truth about people’s intentions–kind of like a super power! Countless times it’s helped to steer me away from working with people who give off the wrong kind of vibe, and to know when I’ve found someone on the right wavelength.

    So for me, it’s about keeping it in perspective. Yep, being a HSP has its challenges, but I also feel deeply grateful to have these gifts. I hope to keep smartening up so that I can make the most of them!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Beautiful share, Jenn.

  164. Great Marie TV – You are a stellar example of how being true to your sensitivities can yield impressive results in the world!

    My sensitivity buster is hugging my dog, Zanzi. She brings me back to being present which allows all the feelings of overwhelm to dissipate.

    I also have found that Tapping on the back of the hand between the joint of the 4th and 5th fingers with the 3 middle fingers of the opposite hand gives me a way to calm down racing emotions. This is part of the triple warmer meridian and it works for me when my sensitivities get triggered and I want to retreat to my bed for months.

    It is so empowering to see all the comments on this thread! I can’t wait to see the world start to shift as all of us highly sensitive people start being ourselves, owning our strengths and quietly demonstrating to the world how to live in connection with the “core of our humanity.”

  165. I start my day with a loving ritual….
    I drink lemon water and my vitamins then I go to a stuffy chair and pray. Once that is done I meditate for 15 minutes, read my affirmations for the day and then I MUST send a positive affirmation to my 3 kids (28, 23, 16) and another to my husband!! I then go to the gym and I am back home and showering by around 9:00 to go to work by 10:00 am….
    Once I do all that then and only then can I begin my day right!!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Maria — what a fantastic, and yes, loving ritual for your every morning. Good for you, lady! Love it.

  166. Great video as always, thanks Marie! As a highly-sensitive-right-out-of-the womb-person myself, learning and teaching the Alexander Technique has totally changed my life in how I manage my sensitivity.

    It helps me maintain my boundaries, own the space I take up, and stay grounded and present in response to what used to throw me off kilter. It also helps things flow through me so I don’t stay stuck and attached to what is not serving me. It’s an embodied way of learning how to “get your own back” or “get more of a spine”.

    As an Alexander Technique instructor I *love* working with highly sensitive people in order to offer them the same tools that have helped me optimize the gift of my own sensitivity so much.

  167. I needed this reminder this week, thank you! I am a super sensitive person and have been ridiculed for it in the past – by others but mostly coming from myself as voices in my head. When I start my days with my routine of writing, meditation and yoga I am so much more productive and kind to myself and others. Recently, I’ve been working on listening harder to the voices and instead of letting them upset me I am trying to give them love and attention, then move on. It has been an awakening journey that I have only just begun. I already feel much more peace around my emotions and being sensitive. Lately, my routine hasn’t been a priority and I feel like the critical voices have a stronger presence in my thoughts……. sounds like I need to get back to making my routine a priority!

  168. Great session! I have two simple ways I deal with external criticism that aligns with “consider the source.”
    1. Don’t let the jerks (or stronger language) get you down. They have a bad life and are just trying to share it. [this came from my overnight shifts as a waitress along I-80.]
    2. What other people think of you is none of your business. Not sure where I read that – but am coaching my tween daughter to embrace it.

    • Graciela O Young

      Ha,Haa, Yess. Laura,

      #2 is absolutely right. Many times people don’t think before they speak and we have a tendency to quickly feel as though their truth becomes our truth when in fact it really isn’t our truth at all… Most times when meeting folks for the first time or the twentieth time, I usually take what is being said with a grain of salt…unless they have really positive wording and can actually back it up as well as being truly trustworthy then I may consider the info as a way to grow.

  169. Mary Lahti

    Thanks, Marie! Every time I play hide and seek with my feelings, I lose. Instead of letting myself feel, I would hide those hurt feelings and try to seek the reason someone responded in a negative way. Wah. It took me a very very long time to learn to just allow myself to feel, as you said, and then move on. It is soooo much better to be accepting of that sensation. Of course, I try to learn from anything that is constructive. And by allowing yourself to feel first, then your head and your heart is more clear to be objective to responding, if appropriate. It’s a lot like getting angry and upset about an incident. Instead of reacting immediately and writing a nasty email, letter or FB post, take time to feel. Write your feelings or response down until it’s all out so you can think more clearly and objectively if a response is necessary. But I had to work at this because I had been playing hide and seek with my feelings for a long time so it took a bit to change the habit. Oh, and the whole idea of trying to please everyone gets in the way too. You’re bound to get some rejection and feel it go through what you thought was thick skin. But everyone and their thought values are different for sure. That too took me a while to get used to and granted, I would still like to please everyone but that’s not reality. I sure hope EVERYONE liked what I wrote. 🙂
    Have a safe and happy 4th of July weekend for those USA folks.

  170. “You’re too sensitive.” I’ve heard that a few times, and I think it’s a way for others who say it to deflect the fact that they may caused you harm. Do I say, continue to be yourself, and hold those accountable who try to make you feel bad for feeling.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      So true, Danielle. Sometimes someone telling you you’re being “too sensitive” feels like they’re using it as a means to avoid apologizing for their hurtful actions.

  171. Marie, it’s powerful to hear from you, such a delightful, cheerful, successful presence in our eyes, how you overcome any setbacks that sensitivity may bring… along with all the gifts!

    Once I’m done processing it intellectually, but can still feel the energy lingering in my field, I love shaking – as animals do after encountering any threats to release the trauma or negative energy from the body! It takes me from my head and into my body, and I sometimes even turn on music and have fun shaking it out.

    I’ve also learned over the years to use therapeutic crying, to release any built up tension through tears. When something is emotionally triggering in a powerful way, often relating back to deeply seated pain from years back, I try to go deeply into the pain and feel it as much as I can and let it come out as tears. I rarely cry, maybe once in two months or so, but when I do, it’s so cathartic, and I come out feeling totally refreshed!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      These are some really good tips! I love a good therapeutic cry–it’s just so cleansing. I don’t know if you do this too, but I’ve found that if I don’t have a good therapeutic cry every couple of weeks it’ll build up and I’ll one day find myself crying for no reason. I think it’s all the minor frustrations that add up that wouldn’t warrant a therapeutic cry individually. Eventually, it has to happen, though! I haven’t tried shaking, but it sounds really helpful too.

      • I agree Mandy, that it’s all the minor frustrations that don’t get fully released otherwise adding up! Personally my tears surge only when a deeply emotional event brings my challenged emotions to the forefront, but that’s awesome that you’re able to release periodically simply triggered by the buildup!
        As for shaking, there’s actually such a thing as shaking meditation! One called Bio-Energy meditation, and another created by Osho… maybe more out there, if you’re interested! Or you can turn on music of your choice and shake as you like ;D

  172. When I at situation of waiting or hope something. I take advantage of that time to enjoy doing thing I passion or help forward to my goal instead.

  173. Thanks for the blogpost. I loved it.

  174. I love you and always watch your youtube video lessons. You are a greatly bright and active woman and I envy you so much. How can I be like you, Marie? Now regarding with the sensitiveness, I always control myself and I can
    neglet the things which make me bitter and dumb and foolish person without brain. But I love God, with the love and guidance from God, with the love for God, I cannot count the people’s badness on me, let it be. I love God, and God will help me and give me protections and resistances, Marie, I always see moon, Sun and rain. They never choose the good persons and bad persons and they are giving what they have to all of the people who are good and bad. They are not made by people and they are from Nature and like unknown things from someone and somewhere. We all receive them and so we must try to be same as like Sun, Moon and Rain and Air. We must love each other and forgive each other and help each other, when we die we cannot carry anything and bring together with us. Being unable to take with us and so we must share what we have with others for the goodness of the world. Loving each other and helping each other can make the world peaceful place to live for all of us. Life is short and so living peacefully and happily by caring each other and helping each other is good for people in our world. So sensitivity we should sustitude with love and good mind for others because one day we have to leave the world with nothing with us. So we should love each other and help each other as much as we can to make the world peaceful place and happy place, and I wish we people all over the world love each other and help the poor and unable eople. We people love God, Therefore we should love all people in the world, We love peace and happiness which can make the world good place to live in. May all the people happy and peaceful and kind to each other. And one thing more, I love you, Marie. I am Ni Ni from Myanmar. Thanks and loves to you and people all over the world.

  175. Graciela O Young

    Hi Marie,

    This is an excellent series regarding sensitivity. Many years ago I found that I absorbed every energy and spoken word and it was literally making me ill. My sister gifted a self-help book to me for Christmas of “93” named the Four Agreements which literally changed my life. The agreements basically where four principles that when practiced everyday can really help to change your way of thinking about how others may perceive you or your work.

    The practice that I use to keep my heart open and stay strong came about due to this amazing book my sister gave to me so many years ago and I still use it today.

    The agreements are:
    Be impeccable with your word.
    Don’t take anything personally.
    Don’t make assumptions.
    Always do your best.

    First agreement: I have always felt that your word is your bond no matter what. This is something I learned as a child as a result of many broken promises and contradictions from family members.

    Second agreement: This one took me over a year to really absorb but eventually I also was able to learn how to not take every word so literal or personal.

    Third agreement: I still struggle with just a bit from time to time, so my recent actions to this everyday is that when I am in a conversation to ask questions before trying to assume what the message means as a whole. In other words, I have to ask several questions of the person(s) so as not to assume that their message has a hidden meaning, sometimes it’s like pulling teeth but it actually helps to pry the exact feeling or message behind their words. This agreement actually goes hand in hand with the second agreement in that once you are clear on what is being said or stated you can process the information and move on with life from there.

    Fourth agreement: I think this speaks for itself. Especially when you are passionate about your work and life this comes pretty easy because you put your all into what you do.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      This sounds like an incredible book, and I can tell it had a profound impact on your life. I hope others who could benefit from it will find it through your sharing it here. 🙂

  176. Sekina Titilayo O.

    hi Marie!
    Wow! Seems we have quite a bunch of sensitive souls in here; and including you! What a relief!
    I’m a highly sensitive person, though I also have this ability not to show my hurt to the ‘source’; I put on this ‘tough person mask’ in front of people who hurt me; but in private, whoosh! I feel all the pain in the guts; go through the episode over and over again& wonder ‘why me?
    Overtime I’ve devised some ‘feel good techniques’; If the source of the hurt comes from my being too caring or compassionate; I tell myself I’m just being me & not been caring cause I’m expecting a reciprocal. Where the source is from those who say things carelessly; I try to ensure that I don’t put myself in a situation for a similar hurtful episode to repeat itself! The part I’m still working on is how to stop the incidence from rewinding itself in my head!
    I love the way you put it that people can hurt you often because they have an issue with their miserable self; and its not about you. Thanks& so much love Marie! Guess this community have so many things in common apart from creative minds!

  177. As a sensitive guy, it’s especially hard to handle negative emotions. It’s bad enough that someone is being a pain, but then dealing with the whole, “I’m a guy, I shouldn’t even care, BUT I DO!!!” is just messy. I really like the idea of feeling without attaching meaning. Will be trying that.

    K

    • I should clarify: When i say as I guy I shouldn’t care, I mean that I feel a lot of social expectation in that vein, and that there isn’t a lot in my social/cultural circle that supports male sensitivity. I don’t really have an idea of what it is to be a sensitive yet powerful, guy.

      • Chelsea - Team Forleo

        Khaled, love your share! I totally hear you on how it can be tricky to navigate the expectation of guys to not care or not be sensitive, so good for you for doing the opposite! We’re so glad this episode resonated with you.

    • Michele

      Attachment is a bitch! If you really think about it for a moment it gets yucky. Attachment is so disempowering and it keeps us stuck. But our monkey mind has to be attached to something in order to feel better about itself. If we can find a way to detach from things, even good things, we open up to the freedom to be our true selves, sensitive or otherwise. Thank you for sharing a guys perspective outside of the societal stereotype. In other words, thanks for being real;)!

  178. Michele

    I love the “feel it to heal it” comment! The only way to the other side of anything is through, feel through the experience (for five, then say buh-bye;) ), then surrender to it. Once you do that the energy dissipates, at least for me. Breathing really helps me stay connected to my heart as well. I also love the fact that it’s not about toughening up. That tells me that acceptance of who I am, all that I am, is the key to my happiness. For me, I change the wording up a bit in the second part. I say it’s about heartening up, not smartening up. I find that when I’m “smartening” up that’s coming from my head, a place of disconnection for me. When I’m “heartening” up I’m more connected to my own source within and I can disconnect from the external values that can ruin one’s joy and happiness. Once again, thank you Marie, for being you and for being the mirror I need to see my own beauty and greatness. xo

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Beautifully put, Michele. I love what you shared and the way you’re seeing things. The heartening up idea is so good too!

      Thank YOU for being here with us. xo

  179. Such perfect timing for this post! I very recently have started putting myself and my business out there. As an introvert, this has been incredibly difficult yet is something that must be done for my business.

    I posted on a forum recently and was attacked by members who didn’t even bother to fully read my post. I instantly took down the message as that punched in the gut feeling hit.

    By the time I got home, I had calmed down and realized the deletion of my post didn’t actually happen. I was able then to formulate a decent response and in the end, received tons of website visits and leads. Next time, I’ll know to think and consider before reacting!

  180. Sakana

    You’ve simply got to care more about what YOU think of YOU, than what others think of you. If you think you are great, (and you are) then the rest takes care of itself. Don’t blame others for your lack of acknowledging your own awesomeness. You are awesome. Focus on that, not how you think the other guy is wrong.

  181. Michael Forman

    My business coach gave me a great exercise that I complete first thing in the morning where I look at what I don’t want, what I don’t want to feel, what I do want, what I do want to feel, how I want others to feel and then I create an action that I will take for the day. This exercise is working amazingly well for me and gives me a say in how my day goes.

  182. Respect! be to Marie for bringing this Lovely Community together. Geography and distance no longer affect us because of this intriguing Team Forleo Website. Sensitivity affects me greatly especially when am dealing with critics of my world changing mission but today i have learnt a lot on how to handle sensitivity the likes of ‘smartening and not toughening’. This will help me go a long way afloat sensitity. I also enjoyed Joanna’s saying which says ‘credit goes to the person in the arena whose face is marred by dust, sweat and blood’. It says is all, every one of us should be prepared to stand strong for the truth for us to see the dawn of a new world.

  183. Hi Marie, I love your video and you natural nature before and after. That was cool and unexpected.

    thank you for the three steps, I totally agree and I also asked my lady who creates beautiful organites to tell me how to protect myself from noise that irritates me purely because i am highly sensitive.

    so she send me an article full of useful tips

    you are right that it only last for a second when it come to the physical sensation of whatever it is one is feeling.

    why do we attach mental drama all the time. I dont get it?

    anyway, this is all groovey baby. Imma gonna be your new far from today.

    Woop woop.

    Love an light

    Delina

  184. Dear Marie!
    I handed in my quit notice today. I have a new job. It was a very difficult decision. Mybe, one little step towards my dreams, I hope. My boss was very upset, moreover angry. I felt very bad and nervous all day. I thought I was too sensitive. Thank you saying it’s not a horrible thing, it’s a gift.
    Thank you all! Never stop!
    Love
    Sophie

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Your dreams are important and I’m so glad you’re honoring them despite the difficult decisions you have to make to do so. <3

  185. Perfect timing, Marie! I received some constructive criticism in an email today and my first reaction was disappointment and upset. However, I did “consider the source” in that I understood that this was the perspective of just one person (albeit an influential one) and it was just my ego that was hurting. Your third tip though is particularly useful because I was trying to push my feelings away as unjustified. Now I know I can allow myself to feel what I feel, without the drama. Thank you so much!

  186. Clare Downing

    As a super sensitive soul this was great advice and I particularly loved the ‘take 5’ tip. One thing I’ve been doing when I find myself in a situation where I can feel myself spiralling under the weight of someone else’s negative energy is to remind myself that “this is not my pain” It helps me to take a step back and remember that, as you said, sometimes when people offload it has everything to do with them and what is happening in their day/week/life and little to do with you.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      This is so wise, and “this is not my pain” is such a great mantra! You’re so right that people offloading is *their* pain–not yours. It’s hard to remember that sometimes, but it’s so true.

  187. Karen

    Thank you Marie for such an inspiring episode! I’m a super sensitive person, too, so this episode and all the comments, conversations here were so very encouraging and mean a lot to me. Thank you.

    I loved all the tips you gave us. I needed them all. Among them especially the second one was a big hit.
    After having so many emotional struggles with all the other people’s negative comments, attitudes, etc. for nights, days, weeks over decades, I just (finally!?) started realizing how powerful it is to shift my eyes and focus on where their source is, as you wonderfully said, rather than on my own feelings.
    It’s quite hard to give up to focus on my own heart being hurt, aching but it just leads me to get sucked into self-pity and lose my confidence.
    But by shifting my gear towards finding where their sources are, I gradually started understanding their issues, situations, possible past undesirable experiences, and even their lack of confidence, jealousy etc. These finds actually have given me more muscles to become more understanding and even more compassionate for those ones who give me negative energy. It turned me to think “Then what can I do to meet their needs?” And I found my heart was spontaneously healed.

    We can see through the things, the people around us in a much much deeper level because we are more sensitive. It’s absolutely a special gift so that we can meet the needs, fill out the missing spots, blanks that people are normally unable to do on their own.
    I totally understand it can be very overwhelming sometimes and it’s definitely a tough call. I still need to learn this process more to make it my own – but I think we should embrace and cherish our special talent.

    Marie, thank you very much again for this another awesome episode and also always being a sensible creator of this amazing community.
    Love you!

    • Hi, Karen –

      One of your comments raised a red flag for me.

      It was this one: “It’s absolutely a special gift so that we can meet the needs, fill out the missing spots, blanks that people are normally unable to do on their own.” Taken at face value, this is how I define co-dependency…

      I’ve learned for myself (through a lot of hard work over many years!) not to do for others what they can (and need to) do for themselves; that in fact I do them a disservice, that what I’m really doing is disempowering them to make myself feel better/stronger/more powerful.

      I’m not saying that’s what you are doing, BTW! I don’t know you, and I’m sure that’s not what you were intending to say nor what you do.

      I will say that yes our sensitivity is a special gift – I absolutely agree with you there. And like any gift, it can be both a strength and a weakness. In my experience, this one comment points to a potential weakness that we all (particularly since we, as women, are groomed to be “helpful”) would do well to keep in mind and self-reflect on…

      It’s one thing to be more aware of other people’s struggles. It’s quite another to take it on as our job to try to fix them!

      • Karen

        Hi Deborah,

        Thank you for your reply! I absolutely agree with the point you raised. And I actually understand what co-dependency means and does affect our lives from my own past experiences… So I totally get what you mean.

        Thanks to your reply, I just realized I should have said “It’s absolutely a special gift so that we can meet the needs, fill out the missing spots, blanks that people are normally unable to see on their own.” instead of “to do”. Yes, the original wording does sound like co-dependency…! I’m sorry but it was not what I meant. (Thank you for understanding.)

        As you say and Marie herself expresses in the video, yes it’s true that sensitivity can be both a strength and a weakness to overcome.
        However, after watching this video of hers, I was really inspired that, with this special talent and also with compassion that comes out of our own experiences – usually by going through tough times and getting them over in our own lives, we can meet the world’s needs practically in a healthy way. As entrepreneurs, we can be much more creative especially in our business as well. This talent is not given to us to get defeated by the world but to give whatever we have, passionately to the people around us and to the world.

        So, thank you again Deborah. Your reply gave me another opportunity to dig more deeply into this topic!

        • Great reply (and thinking), Karen! Glad my comment was a catalyst. And glad we agree on the clarification.

          And I SO agree with you about what we can do as entrepreneurs. “This talent is not given to us to get defeated by the world but to give whatever we have, passionately to the people around us and to the world” — agree completely with that WHOLE statement!

          • Karen

            Thank you Deborah. Your input is much appreciated!

  188. Amazing.

    This video is enlightening but even more so is the email discussion on this. I’m going to read Elaine Aron and check out her website. I’ve read and re-read the 4 Agreements.
    I’ve been told my whole life I need to toughen up. Then I end up spending substantial amounts of time trying to get my balance back and feel things deeply again so I can let go of them. It’s like a yo-yo experience.
    So happy I watched this and grateful to Marie and her team. Thanks!

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Elaine’s book is fantastic, Jen! I read it a few years ago and had a-ha moment after a-ha moment while reading it. 🙂

      • Thanks so much Kristin. It’s on the top of my reading list for sure.

  189. Thank you so much for this Marie! Perfect timing. I’ve been relating this message to my sensitive 8 year old boy for a long time now. In fact last night he cried himself to sleep after watching a movie about a family who became homeless, so I showed him this video today. Your suggestions are in line with what I’ve been telling him, so to have it validated and reiterated was super helpful. It is a gift, and one that can lead to greatness! I told him that rather than focusing his thoughts on the sadness of the situation he learned about in the movie, to instead use the energy to figure out how he can improve the situation for others, how the actions of one person can make a difference to many.
    But to have you suggest he start his day on the right foot helped him to come up with ideas of some things he’d like to think about or see first in his day to put him in a positive state of mind. Thanks!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Wow, Melanie — what a cool thing that you’re sharing this with your 8-year old son. I hope the episode helps him see his sensitivity in a clear light, and thank you for letting us know you shared it with him! He’s in good company here 🙂

  190. One of the biggest leaps of faith I took was in my early stages of guitar playing. My mom had pushed me to participate in the talent show taking place at my church (which I had denied going many times), so I did it. It was the first time I had played in front of an audience + there were judges! because I was so nervous, I messed up really bad and even asked if I could start over. That didn’t make a difference though..i continued to mess up. I ended up winning 3rd place ? I think it was in that moment I had to really think about whether I wanted to continue playing or just quit. That’s when you know you really want something bad. I didn’t give up. I now play sometimes in front of an audience (mostly sing). I mess up sometimes… but its all part of the process. (:

  191. Lauren

    Great topic, Marie! I think it’s one that is often overlooked. I’ve often been called a “sensitive Sally” and my old supervisor referred to me as “waterworks” because I would cry often when things upset me. I took the feedback as a sign that I needed to toughen up, and I spent years trying to be less emotional. Then one day, I realized that my sensitivity is one of my strengths. It is how I’m going to make a difference in this world, and it is what has primarily driven me to pursue becoming a health and life coach. These days, I am very careful about who I give my sensitive energy to. I can love and care very deeply, but only to those that I trust and feel will honor and be cautious with it. There are still times when I do care deeply for someone that ends up hurting me, but I am generally able to take a good look at the situation and realize it was something in them, and not me. In my mind, I can do no wrong by choosing to be compassionate and understanding. Whether or not that is reciprocated is not going to change the person that I am.

  192. Totally Awesome!

    Thank You Marie!

    Bless!

    Elaine 😉 x

  193. Thanks Marie for sharing this. I too am highly sensitive and remind myself daily to feel it because it is,so much easier to go into my brain. There are a couple of books by Cyndi Dale (www.cyndidale.com) that are amazing and I have,really helped me. Energetic Boundaries and her newest book the Spiritual Power of Empathy.

    Thanks again for doing what you do! Have a great day.

  194. What if that critic is often myself? Especially regarding art!

  195. Christine

    Thank you Marie! Of all of your videos I feel this one was the one I needed to hear most. Actually, I needed to hear it many years ago, but you know what they say; when the student is ready the teacher appears. Thanks again. I’m so glad you have chosen to share that special something than only you can give!
    Peace & Love,
    Christine

  196. Amazing post I must confess. My first time of visiting your site and am totally impressed. Thanks for sharing, and hopefully I will be a regular visitor

  197. Kristen

    i do believe that being extra sensitive is a gift and a sign of strength, but you have to really learn how to listen to your inner voice, otherwise you will pick up on what everyone around you is feeling and it will impact and affect your actions. Learn to trust your hunches and faithfully follow what is in your heart, and it wont matter what others are throwing at you energetically. This will take a bit of being a “hard ass” on your part, and it will come across to certain people in different ways. The more you detach from the BS around you the more people will question you not playing into their drama. It takes a lot of strength to keep persevering despite the outside world, but keep to it. (I have had a lot of experience with this, and have been around a lot of different people…enough to hear whats my truth, not theirs)

  198. Love that ‘start your day smart’.
    Have used the Ted talk idea – great for getting my brain working in an’ out in the world’ way, and opens up my intellect if I’m sensing I might be using more ‘heart’ than is useful for me! Works particularly well if I’m not seeing clients (I’m a bodyworker) and I’m going to be working at home that day. I also use interviews with potent and connected women – has a similar effect.
    It’s so useful to remember ‘sensitivity is a sign of strength’. For so long, I was inclined to think my personal history had resulted in these reactions & feelings. Finally I am coming to accept & embrace it, whilst taking care of me in an appropriate manner – more down/quiet time.
    Thanks Marie, great post and reassuring replies! There’s a whole gang of us…

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Fiona. There is indeed a whole gang of sensitive souls — the world needs us! xoxo

  199. Hey Marie,

    thank you so much for this episode! It resonates so much.

    Recently I have been using a mantra that helps me stay grounded and keeps my heart open: “Put on your own oxygen mask first.”

    I noticed that when I didn’t take care of myself first, other people’s emotions and energies could easily throw me off. When I take care of my wellbeing by doing the things that keep me grounded – meditation, yoga, connecting with uplifting people and inspiring ideas (like your videos) etc – I was able to really be there for the people around me and help them get through it without me getting lost.

    It’s a strength to be an empath, not something to hide and tuck away. Thanks for the reminder! 🙂

  200. Angels

    As an empath and highly sensitive person I can very much relate to Catherine’s comment about it running her life or affecting the whole day.
    I live in the UK where negativity and the victim role are cultural aspects of our personality and day to day business. It’s like the majority and norm that I come across.. I am highly positive and loving and I’ve found for years that I even fear going to the school gates because by 9am I’m already infused with negativity that can carry on into my whole day.

    I’m 35 now and I meditate. Do yoga. I’m a single mum of two boys and was just discussing with my mother how getting up at 5am to look after their feelings and needs can leave me no time to do what I know serves me first thing… And that is true.. But I’ve learnt to work with what I have.
    To do gratitude lists throughout the day and in bed on an evening. Today I noticed on my run after the school shift that I felt sad. So I cleansed myself with a woo woo wipe down with the intention of letting go of negative energy and it truly seemed to help.

    Later after reading Lousie hays calendar cards I did a mental clear out and when I opened my eyes I’m sure it was much brighter than before I closed them.(not science lol it’s just something mentally had shifted)…

    I see the truth now.
    How loved I am when I chose to love myself.

    I think people’s energies affected me more when I looked for others to fill me or cares about there opinion.. Well no more. I’m too old to give a crap as much anymore and I know that lowering of my energy affected my parenting negatively., so I’m no longer willing to compromise the beauty my children see by letting others affect me. I just switched my thought I guess. My intention to be peaceful., as Wayne dyer says ‘we don’t get what we want’ ‘we get what we are’.. So I actively chose peace moment to moment and today when I noticed I was deeply affected by something the father of my second child did I cried- gave myself that 5 minutes to feel then I noticed it had changed me day. The course of my mindset..
    So I stood in the shower, put my hands in prayer position and recalled/listed ALL I had to be grateful for in that day..

    I don’t think I’ll ever change fully. I feel energies. It’s s gift. People tell me that all the time. It helps me to feel, heal, to love, to have empathy for others., for 35 years people have told me I analyse too much and am too sensitive., well maybe they are insensitive to say such things.. Maybe they are right. But it doesn’t make ME wrong.,

    I cried today when meditating.. I thought why am I sad, I didn’t feel sad. I then thought of s friend and realised the sadness I felt was their’s not mine. As soon as I got this awareness the sad evaporated. Like magic. I became aware it was because they feel lonely..
    So finally at 35 I know what I feel isn’t wrong., it’s often not mine and I’m learning to love myself in this life, with my sensitivities and in all my glorious form.

    Because there really IS only one me and I AM.. Why would I want to be any different.. I’m imperfectly perfect and I’m rolling with it.. And I say screw the critics, especially my own inner critic.. That bugger needs to pipe down and chill often more often lol

    Love to all
    I wish you contentment and the awareness and knowledge to accept how you feel. Manage it and love it for the gifts it gives x
    Nameste
    Ajhancock

  201. Helena

    I can really relate to that, and love all, but speccially your second suggestion. Will be useful in my field 😉

    Thank you Marie!!!

  202. Marie,

    I come from a family that likes drama and my family members will often kick up some drama by saying mean things. The way I have learned to deal with these emotionally dramatic moments is that when someone says something to me that is difficult or I can feel it triggers me I check the source, I DON’T react, and I try and listen. When I listen to what they are saying I look for the content in the message rather and respond to that rather than the emotional trigger. My family has actually made me a better communicator in my public life.

  203. ye

    i try not to feel anything most of the time. long story.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I’m really sorry to hear that, Ye. That’s a tough place to be, so please know we’re sending lots of love your way in hopes that things will get better soon. <3

  204. Reeta

    Sensitivity is a strength? Really? Fantastic!!

    To think about the amount of energy I would have saved from putting my sensitivity through gruelling ‘toughen up’ workouts.

    Thank you, you’ve saved me unnecessary sadness, bundles of time and energy.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Absolutely, Reeta! It doesn’t always feel like a strength, but being sensitive really is a wonderful gift.

      We’re so glad you checked out this episode!

  205. Tiffany Diamond

    Great advise especially for those who allow themselves to be vulnerable. Feedback is a gift and it can be opened and used or returned to sender. Agree with the perspectives Marie offered (per usual). Feeling things deeply is power – letting it control you is not. Listen, learn and then move on!

  206. oliver rojas

    I am a sensitive person so appoinments with other people or checking social media can derail my progress. I am going to eliminate unnecessary distractions from intruding on days where work is unequivocally the most important task. Letting distractions intefere is like “Playing Russian Roulette with the Day”.

    Thanks so much for offering varied advice on how to cope with anger. My anger is so painful I want to create panademonium. A better approach to getting thru today is to focus on the suggestion of not attaching “A mental interpretation to emotional pain.” Normally, I am comitted to “always” mentally interpreting mean behavior. Sometimes, there are no rational explanations and a mental interpretation only serves to lengthen emotional pain rather than shorten it.

    Thanks again Marie. You are a wonderful person.

    I do not have any additional advice on how to deal with negativity. I am already an ardernt believer in “examining the source”.

    Feel the pain and don’t try to dismiss is another piece of advice I neglected to comment on, but that I dutifully try to apply on a daily basis since hearing it in an earlier segment.

    Oliver

  207. Isik Tlabar

    I’m super sensitive and used to keep myself and my heart as a way of dealing with it, well ignoring it;)

    Now as a morning routine, I wake up at 7am if I have to be somewhere at 10am. This puts me in a relaxed mood in the morning, I’m not rushing and enjoying the morning.

    I used to use my phone as an alarm but now I’m putting it outside my room to avoid checking it as I’m getting ready. I write for half an hour (2-3 pages) first thing in the morning. I write about anything, any worries or anxieties I have at the moment or simply what happened the day before and how it made me feel. This helps me clear my head and embrace the day fully. It’s funny, when I fully write about a negative thought I have, I look at it on the page and it dissapears, it has no power, its all in my mind..

    Then if I have time I meditate and do an energy wheel qigong exercise. If not, writing is amazing on its own. When I eat breakfast I only focus and think about the food I’m eating.

    This really helps me to stay in my own body and power. This way when I feel upset about something I know that sometimes its someone else’s energy. When I realise that, it goes away naturally.

    Over the past few years I realised that people always treat you how they treat themselves, so sometimes it has nothing to do with you!

    Thank you for a great reminder <3 xx

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      What a fantastic morning routine, Isik!

  208. Hi
    Ronnie here
    I was in Africa. Earning better than I am earning now. Mom dad in India, brother in America. I really felt for them as they were not getting any younger and we’re beginning to struggle with technology.. Watsapp, emails etc.. Dad had a small accident but sitting in Africa I did not know how small it was.. So I decided to come to India.. For 6 years I have played a second fiddle to him in business but we are not earning so well
    We have had fights where I told them I did this for them and they ask me why? I should not have!
    Now I will be a dad soon and financially I am not that sound
    My wife works currently but plans to quit after the baby
    Now I am in a financial soup and I ask myself was this the right thing to do? Should I have left my well earning job and come or should I have stayed and earned and sent money home.. I was in Africa for a year.. My bro was in America for 8-10.. He earns better even now that he is back.. I have till Sept to turn my earning into gold or find a job.. I know I will survive. No matter what but.. Bring good/ sensitive/ caring doest pay u that well!! Frankly somewhere my dad respects my bro more cause he earns better.. There is 1 thing I am happy about my dad is more peaceful in business than what he used to be as now he dies not have fights with his brother who is in the same business.. In a movie that would be a happy ending unfortunately life does not end there.. When you learn the game it changes the game.. I don’t even know why I am writing all this to u.. But I guess I just want to vent it out!! Tomorrow is a new battle day.. Tc keep smiling! I respect u!

  209. Merari

    I’ve really been practicing the let in for 5, well for more than that really but this video helped to me understand that now that I know how to let things in and allow and accept the emotions that come up that I can also wrap it up in 5 minutes! Thanks Marie 🙂

  210. Jenee

    I’m very sensitive. My dad is very hard. Now I have children and my older son is sensitive. He is compassionate and kind. He’s also emotional (comes with the territory). My dad keeps telling me I need to toughen my son up, but I can’t stand the idea of that. I love his gentle spirit and I connect with it. Am I wrong? Is it ok to have a gentle boy and allow him to remain that way? Will he fail at life? (As I feel I have)

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Jenee, thank you so much for watching this episode, and I’m sorry to hear that you’re worried about your son. So many of us on our team are sensitive souls too, and it can definitely feel challenging to move through life with a sensitive heart. However, that doesn’t mean that your son (and you!) can’t be happy, fulfilled, successful, AND sensitive.

      As Marie shared in this episode, being sensitive is such a gift, and the world needs people who are gentle and compassionate. Rather than “toughening up,” you might find it helpful to think about something like teaching your son to be resilient. I love that word in particular, as it doesn’t mean being hard, but instead being able to be ourselves and bounce back from tough situations.

      You could even share the tips in this episode with your son or watch it together and start a conversation about how he can embrace being sensitive and resilient. In particular the tip about feeling our feelings and then letting them go is such a lovely one and so valuable for all of us.

      I hope that helps, and know that we’re sending so much love to you and your son <3

  211. Elle

    I love this. Thank you 😊

  212. Kaitlyn

    I used to battle chronic anxiety and the key to unraveling much of it was the realization that the key to the pain, is in the pain. I believe that I was in a constant state of anxiety because I was always running away from feeling deeply. As soon as I stopped running away and stared my emotions in the face, and even asking those emotions questions, my anxiety waned. I now believe that feeling things deeply is my super power.

    Hot tip: Reading Brene Brown’s “Rising Strong” book was a game changer for me. Download the audiobook and listen on the treadmill. She is a researcher and storyteller and has an amazing knack for describing how leading wholehearted lives is dependent on leaning into our vulnerability and owning our stories, even the messy ones.

  213. Allan

    Thank you Marie. Love your work!
    Being a male and sensitive is tough. I am also a small business owner with staff. Trying to balance being a boss and being sensitive is hard, especially in my field (mechanic)
    Luckily I work with my partner and she is the tough half of us. But to help me I do give myself time in the morning. My “hour of power” meditation and yoga. It all helps. Constant growth. But some days are so tough.
    Thanks again.
    Allan

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