Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

read more

Before I say anything else, I must say THANK YOU.

The love and support you shared for me, my dad and my family was truly overwhelming. I read every comment and every note that came my way, and each one fueled me with hope and possibility.

I am so deeply appreciative of your humanity, your kindness and generosity. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read this.)

And, I’m happy to report that my amazing Pops is doing so much better now. We’ve been getting positive feedback from the team of docs he’s working with and I’m incredibly optimistic about the road ahead.

Now onto today’s episode. This Q&A got me super fired up. It has to do with something I’ve heard throughout my life (though thankfully not much anymore).

When you’re hungry for success, don’t let anyone feed you crap about slowing down. Click To Tweet

And anytime someone would say this two-word phrase to me, I wanted to slap them silly. Not because I didn’t think their intentions were good, but more because I didn’t feel understood as a human being.

Have a watch and learn what I believe is the world’s worst advice for ambitious people. As you’ll hear me say in the episode, I’m not talking about burning yourself out or doing anything that would negatively impact you or your relationships. We need to make that uber clear, OK?

What I am talking about is a natural and very healthy hunger many of us have to create, connect and contribute. It’s an insatiable sense of curiosity and enthusiasm for life. For doing things, making things and discovering things that spark joy.

You’ll also learn when it’s absolutely worth your while to listen to folks when they say this specific two-word phrase to you.

Now, I’d love to hear from you. Is there anything that folks seem to say to you as a creative changemaker that drives you bananas? Let’s have some fun with this one, shall we?

My hope is that together, we can have a good-hearted laugh at the things that make our minds crazy, and we can see that we’re not alone after all.

Remember to share as much detail as possible in your comment as thousands of incredible souls come here each week for insight and inspiration. Your story may just be what someone else needs to have a breakthrough.

Important: please share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be deleted as they come across as spammy.

Thank you so very much for reading, watching and sharing your genius here. Your kindness always warms my heart, and I am consistently in awe of how you help make this corner of the Internet a truly fantastic place.

Above all, remember this. Honor that hunger you feel to learn, explore and create. Ambition isn’t bad. It’s beautiful. And when it’s channeled in service of your highest self, it truly can change the world.

With all my love,

XO

You may also like...
Add a Comment

328 comments

  1. We absolutely MUST stay away from the naysayers.

    She needs new friends.

    darlene

    • Agreed. I like to say to ignore the advocates of mediocrity. 😉

      • “The advocates of mediocrity.”

        The sad part is that most of the time they don’t even realize what they’re advocating! They’ve gotten comfortable with their fear/lack mindset or, as my husband said the other week “I’m already living my dream” – which is significantly smaller in scale than mine. That makes it challenging sometimes to co-exist with another who’s dream scale is seemingly incompatible with yours.

        That said, the more research I do into the types of creative entrepreneurs, the more I realize there are some folks who actually do their best work in the chaotic side of creativity, so telling them to “slow down” even if they’re overwhelmed will fall on deaf ears. That’s how they create, and they’ve gotten good at navigating the drama for themselves – even if it leaves a wake behind them.

        More important than telling people to “slow down” or even to “dream bigger” is “find your own groove – and dance to it.” The world needs slow dancers as well as boogie-down artists. 🙂

        • Oh. This is directly speaking to me! My family tells me to slow down. I had a coach tell me to slow down under the surface because she was attached to my energy and I am happy to say I no longer connect with her. I am not all about pulling others down because all of my life I’ve been in that seat where others told me this! I have a hunger too and I am totally strong, sexy and sure of this! BOOYA! <3

          • I’m not an Advocate of Mediocrity. Permission to use that as a one line come back to the naysayers.
            I had a boss when I first graduated from university tell me that most people are like water, they take the path of least resistance. Keep that in the back of your head when the herd mentality is being presented.

        • Tal

          “Find your own groove – and dance to it” – I love this, Lisa! Everyone has the right to dance at their own pace. We just like to keep it more upbeat!

        • Marie, Terrific news your Dad is doing better!

          I did enjoy this Q&A even though I am not one of those naturally driven and ambitious people. That’s why I started listening to you, to hopefully find a way to create more drive and ambition in my life and business. Thank you, Mari-Lyn

          • Rebecca

            Mari-Lynn I feel the same as you. I always wish I had more drive, I have the vision of wanting to connect and serve through my passion but I get stuck in comparing and wanting what you highly, motivated, driven peeps have, do!
            Any advice for us please Marie?

        • Right, Lisa. There’s room for all.

        • “More important than telling people to “slow down” or even to “dream bigger” is “find your own groove – and dance to it.” The world needs slow dancers as well as boogie-down artists.”

          Lisa, you rock!!!!!!! 🙂

      • Sarah

        This is the best adage I’ve heard in AGES. Thanks Emelia1

    • I totally agree! I’m allergic to them now! I break out in hives lol

    • Mike

      Just signed up for Fiverr thanks to your link so I can stop being a “hot mess”. I had no idea there was such a range of services.

      • Mike I just discovered Fiverr last week myself and for a few hundred dollars I have had a huge range of beautiful products supplied to me that I had been agonizing and wasting way to much time on! Mind you I have also had a few disappointments on this site. But overall Total BLISS!

  2. Hi Marie,
    So happy that your dad is doing better!

    And I sooo agree with you when you say no to “slow-downers”. Sometimes I feel my friends telling me that I’m too ambitious and that I’m losing my time, just because success requires more time and effort getting a “regular job”.

    Well, the truth is they simply don’t know what they’re talking about, there’s so much satisfaction in following your goals and I will never shut the door to my possibilities!

    Slap in the face to people pushing you down, they’re just afraid of freedom 🙂

    Great work Marie!

    • Chad

      SPOKEN LIKE A SAGE!!!

      Let me just say that I am with you 110%.

      I’m with you to an amount that defies logical math.

      I am with you infinity percent plus one.

      Can I state this any more emphatically?

      • lynelle

        No, Chad, don’t think you could!

  3. I love being fast paced and ambitious. I loved this so much because I have found that if I’m energetic, driven + ambitious I’ll attract more of that! And, that’s 100% what I want at the end of the day.

    • Yeah Kimberly, I feel so deep with you. There are some people (family and friends) who want me to do what they want and therefor they say I should slow down, but they just mean I should give my time to them and care about their problems. Generally I do take care of their problems too, but not in that instant they want me to.
      Thanks Marie, this was the perfect encouragement for me to go ahead and follow my wildest ideas and plans!

      • Mandy - Team Forleo

        I’m so glad you’re listening to your heart, Rita. There are always people out there who want us to do what *they* want, but when our hearts are our compass, we’ll never be led astray.

      • @Rita. Love to here you wake up that soon and the way you work on it. I call it is keep balance with what which our love person want with what we want.

  4. First off,, happy to hear your Dad is doing well.

    Perfect answer, Marie. I’ve stopped listening to anyone who dared to counter my soul’s voice. Unfortunately, that meant distancing myself from what was a close friendship.

    This person was deep in the “we” club. “We’re broke…we don’t know anybody…we need blah blah blah…” Except, I wasn’t any of those things. That was all *their* stuff which was a convenient way for them not having to try. Once I realized our levels of ambition were dissonant, I had to move on.

    Unless the “we” you’re talking about is in reference to confident and successful, leave me the hell out of it.

    In the end, your soul always knows who to listen to and what their motives are.

    • Love, love, love that “we” explanation, Emelia. It really hits home for me. I have gotten that before from family and friends and it’s really hard to let people know that you don’t want to be included in that group of “we”. It’s insanely important, however, to distance yourself from it so you can keep your own soul’s passion alive. Falling prey to it and starting to associate with whatever “we” people are lumping you into will slowly eat at your identity of being that ambitious person.

  5. I have only one thing people say that drives me bonkers: Why don’t you get a “real” job. And any of the variations of this statement.

    Not. Gonna. Happen. I MADE my real job. 😀

    • Oh my, this SO much, all the time hahahahahah.
      But we know what we’re going for, right Grace? 😀

      • Chad

        A-M-E-N!!!

        There is no advice that drives me crazy more than that advice. I abhor that advice with every cell in my body.

        • lynelle

          A-M-E-N Back!! yeahhh

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I’ve always thought the “get a *real* job” argument was so SILLY, especially for people who are running a successful business. Being an entrepreneur, especially a successful one, is certainly not a “fake” job! 🙂

      • The definition of a ‘real job’ is ‘Just Over Broke’- I’ve certainly had enough of those over my lifetime and certainly would not wish to impose that reality on anyone. I try and keep in mind that the Universe is full of possibility.

      • Even though you don’t have a successful business according to the society, Mandy, you can still have a successful life. Let pursue our dreams since if there is a will, there is a way. My new foundation is on the rise. “WATCH ME FLY!”. I love this quote. Another one i live by, “the person who says that it is impossible should give way to the one who believe it is”.

  6. OMG I love this. SO many people in my life doubted me when I first started and the main cause is because so little people understand exactly what it is I do. The whole online business thing just boggles some people!

    People would tell me that I was crazy for wanting to pursue an online business as a coach. Nobody around me knew what they hell that meant.

    But I pushed and now I have a fabulously successful business that I love and allows me to change lives and have the freedom to live on my terms!

    Thanks for the reminder Marie

  7. Mamma mia Marie! I love this!

    My mamma keeps telling me to “have a rest”, she’s been doing this like forever… and this drives me nuts (ok, not anymore, I just let it go now).

    I have realized over the years that most people who tell us to slow down this are in fact people who admire and/or envy us for all we have done and all we do, and they kind of feel lazy and small when they compare themselves to us.

    PS: really love the Copy Cure video ad 🙂

    Marie, don’t slow down!

    Best,
    Anne

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      You’re so right. But even if we did listen to them and slow down, we’re not serving anyone by shrinking ourselves to make others feel better. So glad you’re going your own way and following your heart.

      • lynelle

        Mandy, this almost (almost) hurts…because in the past ~3 years, it has become, each day a little more until I am bursting at the seams of the heart of it, unable to deny that I’ve lived almost 59 years as a freaking monk — an invisible one at that — because of all the crap I learned on Day One and held onto. It can hurt because for a moment, it appears that my life has not only been wasted but that it’s far too late to move into different territory, as a different “person.” Also hurts to let go of those with whom I’ve surrounded myself for decades to bolster that belief system.

        I am right at the juncture that some pointers toward this new territory, and a map for it, are coming clear. Seems of course to be the same for many others.

        All of these responds as well as Marie’s initial video are bigtime pointers. Thank you all.

  8. i LOVE the tip on “WHO” is giving you the advice. That piece is SOOO important.

    You would not get your jewelry appraised by a brick layer right?

    Keep the ambition train going!

    • Totally agree with you Laura!

      Its hard sometimes to go against what other people think is normal especially when they are so close to you.

      But, Greatness is out of proportion, there is nothing mediocre or normal about it!

  9. Marie, glad to hear that your dad is doing better. Thank you so much for sharing this. Really needed to hear it.

  10. Seriously! Great advice Marie!!! Always filter any feedback or advice. I’m super ambitious and people used to tell me to slow down too. Just hit a few awesome milestones and they’ll either be inspired or fall out of your life because you make them face what they are too afraid to do themselves. Live, love create!!!

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Filtering — yes! This is so true in many aspects of life. When people give feedback or advice, take what resonates and leave the rest 🙂

  11. azzy

    My prayers are with her dad and family….

    People tel me to take up other jobs cuz they only pays more
    or they say don’t work extra they wont pay more…

    I find that sick, I believing in giving more and being more.

    Thanks Marie and Team…
    I find you inspiring and you validate my beliefs…
    🙂
    God Bless…

  12. Milda

    Dear Marie,

    Thank you for being and congratulations for your dad getting better.

    I am a very fast person. And I had slowed down for several years when my two adorable daughters were born. This should have been the most amazing time of my life. But it was not. I truly love my girls, but slowing down took me down to deep depression. Now when I got back on my feet – my drive is back and can’t wait to make all my dreams come true. People saying not to hurry, I have plenty of time ahead, right now I have to take care of my kids, etc… Such words are really not encouraging. Is it really not possible to raise my kids and reach for my big dream? I strongly disagree. Though to stand alone in the world with a toddler in each hand is really terrifying, I dear the world – here I come!
    Thank You, Marie, for this video. I need all inspiration I can get and I am really grateful my dear friend Maria for introducing me with your website. You are an amazing woman, really inspiring, strong and powerful, beautiful from inside and outside. Hope to met you one day in person.

    Hugs and kisses,

    Milda V.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      So true, Milda. I know people are well-meaning when they say things like “you have all the time in the world,” but that advice definitely isn’t helpful to super ambitious folks–I hear you on that!

  13. Oh yeah! This one speaks to me…I’ve been both the crazy person and the centered person and both invite the “slow down” response for exactly the reasons you stated!!! (BTW, centered is better than crazy.)

    The thing people say to me that I HATE is “that’s too risky, it might not work!”

    I hate it because it puts doubt in my head. But I’m over that now and just do it anyway! You gotta try a bunch of things if you’re going to evolve and learn. So take a risk and do it!

    Thanks for the great info as always, Marie.

    Cheers,
    Ree

    • Mediocre people do not take risk! They like to stay in their comfort zone. If you have already made the choice to go after your ambitions, than don’t let mediocre people put doubt in your head. 🙂 I welcome the doubt of others, and I turn it into my ambition to prove it will work!
      So it might not work immediately..and if it doesn’t, change the plan, but never the goal! Good luck to you Ree!

  14. I’ve had several people tell me that I won’t succeed in my business and that I need to go back to work for someone else. They say this even though I’m doing better financially with my business then I ever did holding 2 or 3 jobs for other people…

    It used to upset me, and even make me doubt myself. Now I realize that what they’re saying probably has more to do with them than it does with me. I have no time for that… And I don’t waste my emotional energy on those people anymore.

    The supportive people are the only ones who matter when it comes to business. If they have constructive criticism, I’m all ears 🙂

  15. Preach! Marie, I felt like I was in church! You were speaking to me today darling! Whoop whoop. I can relate to the feeling of being told to “slow down”. A lot of people tell me “I’m doing too much” and my people pleaser side thinks I should listen, but in my gut it doesn’t feel right. Clearly two conflicting factors. I will definitely apply what you mentioned: do what drives me and motivates me regardless of people’s opinion. But if I am not meeting or achieving my goals, and someone gives sincere honest feedback, then I should consider it seriously and make a decision accordingly. Is that right? Hope I got it!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      You’re spot on, Shirley. What Marie is saying is that if you’re going fast, but what you’re doing isn’t furthering your goals and you’re constantly overwhelmed, then it’s time to re-evaluate. The beautiful thing about not slowing down is that if what you’re doing furthers your goals, then your hard work pays off. But if the things you’re spending time on aren’t accomplishing your goals and it’s just leaving you feeling overwhelmed, then that’s not serving anyone.

  16. It’s not anything that has been said to me, it’s the frozen smile, slow nod coupled with the tone of doubt in friends and acquaintances voices as they tell me how wonderful it is I’ve started my own business. My accounting world is full of people that are unwilling to leave their comfort zone to follow their dreams and it’s unthinkable to leave the steady financial security and known monotony for all the uncertainty and who knows what else. I’ve realized that it’s not doubt in me, it’s doubt that it’s possible to be successful following your heart. Because if it were they would be chasing their own dreams too. I hope to give them an ounce of glimmer and show them yes it is possible.

  17. Hey Marie, I couldn’t agree more! Buy people’s opinion and you buy their lifestyle.
    BTW I’m glad you’re Pops is doing better! I lost my Mom 2 years ago and it certainly makes you think about what you want your life to mean.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I’m so sorry to hear you lost your sweet mom. Our hearts are with you–I know it’s a loss that’s felt continually.

  18. Hi Marie and everyone,

    Awww, it’s so hard when the people around you aren’t in the same space and it feels like they’re right and you’re wrong.

    I love love love my husband but when I tell him how well my business is going (and quote dollars), he says “honey, the money doesn’t matter. Don’t make it such a big deal” – isn’t that a sweet thing to say? And it drives me crazeee! It feels like every time I talk about the monetary success about my business, he worries that it’s going to change me.

    Sigh. So you know what? I just don’t talk to him about the money and discuss it with my coach and others who are in the same entrepreneurial space.

    Glad to hear your dad is on the mend. 🙂

  19. Marie,
    So glad to hear your Dad is on the up.

    For me, having someone say that I am “driven” like I have some awful curse is always a good indicator of if they sit in the support camp or distort camp.
    If only more people look at diamonds and see their brilliance and light, not focus on flaws and devalue them. Drive has brilliance. This world needs it.

    Shine bright like a diamond Marie, shine bright!

    With gratitude

    Belle

  20. Love this video!

    One of my very favourite quotes is by the physicist Niels Bohr: “There are trivial truths and the great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true.”

    In that spirit, I’d like to share a sadly overlooked TED talk, “When you feel the need to speed up, slow down”. It’s amazing, and I think it nicely complements your video, Marie. 🙂
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFU_n1bSyyU

    • Kendra

      This video was amazing and so powerful! Thank YOU for sharing!

      I have been experiencing pressure from ambitious ones to speed up and my inner being is saying “no, go slower”.
      I feels so illogical to slow down even more but I am receiving such clarity by going deeper and deeper, slower and slower, self loving-er, and more self loving. I know I’ll be riding the shark soon and I am best not be rushing off anywhere right now. I have complete faith that I am guided in every moment to most effective actions. I’m enjoying the beach, not worrying about the speech. 😉

      Love to you ALL

      • I’m so glad you liked that video, Kendra! It’s still a secret gem in the TED collection. 🙂

        Sounds like you are rocking the slowing down and centering. You go, girl! Or – um – you NOT go, girl! ;-> GO AT YOUR OWN PACE. You clearly rock. xoxo

    • This video was amazing!! Thank you so much for sharing. And it does compliment what Marie said as well–there are times and places for moving faster, but sometimes, it helps to really see what is there when you slow down. Perfect!

      • Thanks for the words of appreciation, Jennifer! It feels good to share something so good. I’m glad you agree that it complements Marie’s video. xoxo

  21. Love your videos! “The World’s Worst Advise for Ambitious People” is like throwing me a lifesaver while I’m struggling in a strong undercurrent. I volunteer my time with several different non-profits and I’m full of ideas to help expand their services. Serving non-profits brings me great happiness. I’m organized. I deliver on all of the tasks I volunteer to complete. I’m involved in many projects within my small community. There are a few that say I do too much. Do they want to complete a task I’ve taken on? No. Can they do it better? No. Are they dissatisfied with the end results? No. It’s crushing to have these comments when I’m going full speed.

    Thank you, Marie! I’m going to keep on doing what I love to do.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      This is a really good point, Sheryl. There will always be people/organizations that are afraid of growth and afraid of leaving the comfort zone, and I can totally see how that would be super frustrating for an ambitious person since ambitious people like to just get things done. The ones that aren’t afraid of growth will always appreciate those who know how to get things done because that’s probably what their leadership is like. 🙂

  22. I’ve had someone trying to make me slow down and play small for over 20 years. Let’s just say this person is on his way out of my life

  23. VIMAL R CHANGELA

    Dear n Respected Marie,,
    The Zeal and Enthusiasm seen in you is really Mind Blowing.
    I must say that the AURA N ENERGY CIRCLE around you is really fantastic.
    Very few people in this world can represent the level of readiness to response .
    Thanks a lot ..
    Really ..Marie..U r the LIGHT of this world.

  24. Hi Marie,

    Glad your father is doing better! Love and hugs to you…family is so important! You are so amazing and I look forward to your episodes each week! Thank you so much!

    Love this q&a! If I find myself in a frenzy, then I do have to step back a bit and make sure my well being is on track otherwise nothing will get done. Pace myself. Plus, we only have this moment, completion and wrapping up little tasks is as important as the whole project.

  25. Hi Marie,

    I loved this episode! I have had people tell me many different versions of the “slow down” advice, and it is frustrating.

    One that I have gotten is “How do you find the time to do all of this?! I don’t have time because I have [kids, a full time job, a life, etc…]”

    This burns me up because they assume that I have all of this disposable time when it’s not the case. I MAKE time for the things that are important to me (which means ditching the things that are time sucks or don’t make me feel good). And I don’t have kids, but if I did, that would not exempt me from having big dreams and goals that I want to achieve. And honestly, there are plenty of people with way more responsibilities that do WAY more than I do.

    I am so thankful to have the drive that I do to go after the life and business that I want. I remember a time when I didn’t have that drive and felt very lost in my career. But things changed when I started searching for the things that would bring me joy. You have to want it, and you have to pursue it (sometimes feverishly!).

    Great episode! Thanks, Marie!!

    Casey

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Casey, I love your perspective on this — that more responsibilities do not exempt you from having big dreams! 🙂

  26. mil

    Hi

    I have always been creative but not enough to put my product out there. Lack of thinking noone would buy it. Now at this age am thinking wow i left so many years go by not good. Maybe cause i was so busy with 3 kuds bringing them putting a roof over there head. Now i want to do me mt goal but dont know how. I do handmade greeting cards for all occassion, wedding assesories. I want to open a boutique but it seems so hard. Pls help thanks

    • Kendra

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFU_n1bSyyU

      Cindy, above, posted this.
      Please watch!

      All is well, dear one! listen to each moment as is speaks to you. Each present moment is like a game of hot and cold. Feel the positive emotion or negative emotion in each thought, word or step and follow the warmer and warmer feelings to find the gift in the present. You will find your way!

  27. Great message! I find myself in a stop and go pattern rather often when it comes to building my biz, however, this was exactly what I needed today to do less stop and more go! I think there is value in pace and as Marie says to do things where you aren’t dropping all the balls and running around like a maniac. Having said that, this takes practice and the best thing to do is to keep going until eventually you work out your pace without slowing down or stopping:)

  28. Amy

    I have the same feeling about the phrase/advice to “be careful” risks are necessary for growth.

  29. Marie – I LOVED this one so much.
    Calm mind = speed up 🙂
    Crazy mind = unproductive and slow process!

    Katie 🙂

  30. Thank you, thank you, thank you….she gets me, she really gets me. I am a psychotherapist who comes from a corporate background. My ability to get a lot done and geek out on tech to find ways to be more efficient and serve I am good at. I get out of balance and get back in balance and now I have more infrastructure to support me but in the land of therapists I keep getting the slow down message…it is driving me BATTY. Or “I am overwhelmed when I hear all that you do.” I want “Wow way to go!”. I know I can dip into ” too busy” but then I know “oh this is too chaotic for me, time to get more assistance”. Anyway thanks for for this. It soothes my SOUL!!! Getting so excited by this community listening project we are doing on the streets, for FREE…see you in NYC in September.

  31. Marie, I love what you said about “I’m so excited about what’s going on in my life” instead of “I’m overwhelmed/too busy” etc. Great advice! Thank you as always!

  32. Wow, Marie, this triggered so much in me. I’m one of those who is always being told to “slow down”–and I’ve noticed that most of the people who say it are the most disorganized, chaotic, drama-driven ones around. One person actually asked me why certain things never come to pass. “Should I work harder?” she asked. “NO, but you do need to work smarter,” I replied. Here’s the thing: Both my professional and personal life is extremely important to me so I’ve become a big believer in creating systems and leveraging when possible so I get a lot done in a short time. If that makes me someone who should slow down in someone’s eyes…well…so be it.

  33. This is awesome. I often have many projects on the go. Many people comment, “How do you manage life?” ” Wow, your life seems crazy”, “I could never do that” But really I feel energized being multi- passionate. It really is part of me. So cheers to the other super busy, loving being ambitious for life people out there!

  34. Wow! I could have written that Q-Letter!! There is one person in my life who loves to tell me to “Slow Down”…its my mom! And, to her, it probably seems like I have a chaotic life…as a single mom, with three boys and a growing art business to run….I do get a little overwhelmed at times. But…I never feel like a single mom…never feel like my age and I certainly do not want to slow down! I need to speed up and do more and learn more!!! I need to walk faster! lol…My favorite saying/quote is “The more you do, the more you can do!”
    Always learning, always growing! Thanks for being a wonderful role model for me!!♥

  35. When I worked in a French cooking school, my 40-some colleagues would always tell me to “SLOW DOWN!” I thought it was because they didn’t want to seem lazy, but quickly realized that management was putting too much pressure on us to work faster and harder.

    Now I work at my own pace, and I don’t have to compare myself to unrealistic expectations from management OR heed colleagues’ well-meaning advice. And even though working according to my own expectations of what “fast” or “slow” is has been a big adjustment, I’m so glad to be doing it for myself. And all thanks to Marie!!

  36. Happy to hear that your dad is doing much better, Marie!

    And great video with sound advice. One of my fave quotes is that people can’t understand your hustle when they don’t have your vision.

    When you know what you want in life it’s easy to move full steam ahead in trying to make it happen. Everyone isn’t going to understand, and it’s not your job to make them comfortable with your passion. It’s your job to live your truth and serve others with what you feel passionately about!

  37. Sarah

    Thank you so much for this! I co-founded a non-profit recently and this is one of the issues that I am running into with the board members of our young organization. The leader on our board is really emphasizing that we take care of ourselves and manage our commitments as we grow. While I completely appreciate that our board members are volunteers, I know that the only way we’re going to succeed as an organization is by pushing harder and taking advantage of opportunities. I feel like we’re all getting dragged down by this attitude of “let’s not take on too much” and I just want to go go go! It’s really frustrating.

    Thanks Marie!

  38. Val

    There is a huge difference between those who have our back, are on our team and those who are jealous, threatened, etc .. I love the word “schadenfreude”– a German word referring to those who take pleasure in others’ misfortunes… Ugh…

  39. So happy to hear your dad is doing better, Marie! Hugs!! <3

  40. kait

    BEST MARIE VID SO FAR! I TOTALLY needed this today. You rock Marie.

  41. Chad

    Thank you Marie! I really relate to you when you start getting a little heated about these people telling you things that drive you bonkers. Here are the 4 words that absolutely drive me crazy:

    “GET A NORMAL JOB.”

    No words can describe how much I despise that advice. I have been self-employed for a decade and I LOVE it!

    I am completely, perfectly, and incandescently happy to earn just enough money to pay my bills, while I spend the rest of my time doing things that I am really passionate about (namely being an autodidact in any and all subjects that interest me).

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Glad you brush off that “advice” and stick to what you know works for you, Chad! I think we live in a time where the term “normal job” is subjective anyway — one size does not fit all!

      • Chad

        Thanks Kristin!

        I know with full certainty that the paths that I am drawn to in life are correct for me, and I know that coming decades will surely prove that out.

        Also, I just hired a life coach who charges $2,000/mo. She’s really awesome! I’m ready to build something bigger than myself now!

        I struggle with ADD, so I know that having a coach is going to be an essential piece to the puzzle of realizing my passions in a big way.

        I want to affect millions of people for the better. 😀

  42. Marie, I couldn’t love you anymore! and your tweetable. Changing the world takes hustle, drive and passion! No slowing down over here! So great to hear about your Dad. Sending you and your family all our love xoxo

  43. Lin

    If slowing down means putting the work I love aside and doing something else, then hell no! But if it means getting an overdue break from a busy schedule, then I’m all in! 🙂

    Also, sometimes the ‘slow down’ advice just means ‘be patient’ and give some time for the seeds you’ve planted to grow.

    Have a productive week,
    ♥Lin

  44. Interesting, I am a clothing designer on the verge of getting established and the people who tell me to slow down are those who have given up on themselves. Marie is right, consider the type of people who are telling you to slow down. My already successful friends are always motivating me to “keep it moving!” It’s important though to not always listen to everybody and to be good about listening to yourself, your body, your needs, and how much you can do. If my inner-self is telling me to slow down, I listen. I’ve learned over the years about limits and knowing when to stay within them or how far beyond out of them I can go.

  45. Mithun

    I think this blog is for women. All the comments are posted by women. I better find some blogs made for males. 😀 😀

    • Chad

      We men who love Marie Forleo’s videos need to stick together! Haha…

      Yes, there are a lot of women here, but I find most of the information to be completely applicable to men as well.

      As a side note, I quoted Pride and Prejudice in my comment, just to see if any of those ladies notice it.

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      We have a ton of male viewers and readers, although I know many more women post here. Either way, you’re in very good company — this community is TOP NOTCH!

  46. I used to get very upset when people would talk about being more “balanced.” When I create I create in spurts and sometimes it doesn’t look so balanced to others – but it feels perfectly balanced for me! I can get done in a flurry of creativity over four days what some people need weeks to get done.

    Then I relax and read in a hammock and walk around barefoot until I’m ready to dive in again.

    And if I feel too tired or feel I might be wearing myself down, then I rest and I DO slow down.

    I absolutely agree with this very balanced advice – thanks for having our backs, Marie;)

    • Amy

      Love it Ana! Thanks for sharing….

      I work in a similar way and I used to feel guilty during my phases of rest – like I should be better at scheduling or something to avoid this flurry/work cycle.

      But now, reading your words, I just had a re-frame on the whole thing and can appreciate that style of work!

      Thanks so much… Your rock girl!

  47. Trancraze

    “If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough.”

    – Mario Andretti

  48. I get this all the time not from random people in my life, or even friends and acquaintances, but my family. Which is nuts, because they’re the ones who have seen me succeed over and over again. I understand that it comes from their fear of seeing me crash and burn — which I did in horrific fashion in my early 20s when I suffered a nervous breakdown due to undiagnosed bipolar disorder. So I get that they’re concerned and perhaps legitimately so, and I love that they are looking out for me … but that was over 10 years ago. I haven’t had a serious episode since. In fact, I have kicked bipolar disorder’s @ss! But when they get this way I wish they would treat me like the person I am now and not the person I was a decade ago. When my family says this to me I am patient and kind and let them know that I have things under control. But when my sister snaps at me “You’re totally manic” when clearly I am NOT, then I’m liable to lose my sh*t. Don’t judge me by my past and don’t treat me like a time bomb. I am incredibly strong and successful because I worked through those obstacles. Don’t forever define me by something I overcame years ago. I am so much more than that.

  49. Robert

    Living a crazy life is fine so long as you are enjoying what you are doing.

    When the enjoyment turns to high stress that is the time to change and change does not necessary mean slowing down.

  50. Caveat: in massage therapy training we are taught to SLOW DOWN our strokes. It feels better, requires less pressure, and helps us feel what’s happening. My classmates joke about getting “Slow down” tattooed on our inner arms.

  51. I am fortunate to have attracted friends whose advice I honor. They do tell me to slow down because of your reason #2. I think many of us were raised to keep busy. Our parents said we were lazy if we had “idle” hands.
    So we keep busy even though slowing down and being quiet often allows energy, opportunities and ideas flow in. But if we are too busy so we can appear as if we have a full life then the real work does not get done.
    I remember when my mother was staying with me for a few months and I got up, cooked breakfast for kids and got them off to school, worked all day at a job, came home and cooked, cleaned the kitchen and then when I finally would lay down on the couch to watch tv I said, I know I could be doing something. My mother said, You ARE doing something, you are RESTING.
    I loved what you said about paying attention to who the person is who says slow down. We should always do that. better yet, surround yourself with people whose opinions you respect and you know they support you so any advise is given out of love and well being.
    Thank you Marie, and good energy and prayers continue to flow towards your father and your family.

  52. OMG, YES!!! I was saying “OMG, YES!” about 60 seconds into your video – you had me at “They don’t have the ambition you have.” For sure…don’t tell me to slow down! I’m on fire, and you snails are not going to stop me! PS. I also take excellent care of myself, so I have the energy to go full speed. It’s the only way!

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Go, Laura, go!

  53. While I am super ambitious and driven, I also know that I do need to slow down and be less “busy” and more deliberate about what I do. It’s important to find a mix that works best for me, instead of doing what the anyone else is doing. I’m also more aware of today, this moment, and what’s the best action I can take now. These are all great lessons to learn on our journey. Thanks for sharing Marie!

  54. Anna S

    Marie,
    You mentioned a great point of making sure we are aware of who is telling us to slow down. This can make a world of difference to our health and relationships! When one of my sisters tell me that, I don’t listen to her. When the other sisters says it, I listen and take note. I need to do that with more of the relationships in my life since I’ve noticed that I take just about everything to heart. Bad habit, I know.
    Can I have a twelfth of your awesomeness!?
    btw: you’re on my bucket list of people to meet someday:)
    -Anna S

  55. Kathleen

    Marie, I am glad to hear prayers for your Dad are working!

    WhooHoo. I just wanted to testify that those waves of creativity and energy can come and go over a lifetime (I’m 60)…ride the wave when it comes because the calm will come eventually and you will want to enjoy it when it does.

    Surf it! LA Kathleen

  56. Beth Luwandi

    As always, Yay, Marie!
    Glad your pops is doing better too.
    It feels so lonely sometimes when this message to “slow down” or tone it down in one way or another is coming from people closest to us!
    I had a client say “the best thing in life is:
    (not love, but it sure feels like love)
    understanding!” He’s right!
    We all need someone to “get us!”

  57. Karla

    I totally releate to Martina and your answer gave me a chance to reflect who are the suggestions of “slowing down” are coming from and if I need to take a break and enjoy quiet time. When you like to create and have a passion for what you do and a commitment (need) to contribute I actually feel I have to do more. Thank you for being so in tune with busy professional women and always finding a way to invite us to think and grow. Sending well wishes for your dad, xoxo.

  58. First of all, so happy to hear your dad’s out of the woods. It’s a scary thing to see your father, who’s been the pillar of strength, succumb to illness. But it’s a real blessing when things get better. Yay Dad! Father’s Day will be a more thankful one.

    Also, hells yeah, I’m gonna go gangbusters getting my biz up and running – because I love it. Because every step of the way is a journey of learning, empowerment, happiness and satisfaction – which is a damn sight better and more liberating than slogging it behind the desk of someone else’s office, handling someone else’s career. One thing I do is this: I work hard, but I maintain a balance of zen and rest. Knowing when to power down so I don’t burn out is a key ingredient to going the distance. Naysayers are gonna nay.

  59. Sometimes I’m that hot mess can’t slow down kinda person, but that usually doesn’t last long. At some point I have to drink a little wine and slow it down because I will burn out.

    Now I’ve been a can’t-stop-won’t-stop kinda gal because I have this killer new business idea and even still, if I don’t slow it down and relax and spend time doing my personal stuff, I know I’ll turn into the can’t slow down monster, and no one wants that!

  60. My favorite is “Wow, you have a lot of time on your hands!”

    Same 24 hours as you, hater! 😛

  61. I love that you made the distinction between if you’re running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off vs. being genuinely creative, inspired, and excited about what you’re doing.

    and also about considering who the “advice” is coming from. that’s HUGE.

    For me, I hate it when people tell me to calm down or relax. It really grinds my gears:) Because usually it’s when I’m passionate about something, or excited, or even if I’m heated (ie. angry), and I’m just showing my emotions.

    Something about hearing those words “calm down” and “relax” makes me do the exact opposite. Like don’t you tell me to “calm down!”. I’ll show you how un-relaxed I can be! haha

    Thanks for another great video! You’re the best:)

    xoxo

  62. PAIGE GORE

    This SOOOO resonates with me. And I love the advice about being a crazy person. Great idea of how to speak about your life without making people “FEEL” you are overwhelmed. Keep the videos coming!

  63. Audible “Amens” on this one, Marie! If I’m honest, I feel like for the first time, that little bit of me that is always apologizing for being driven, has melted away.

    Anyone who has been the “slow down” voice in my life has definitely Never been someone who’s life I admire. Thank you for being so unapologetic about the way you are wired, it gives us all permission to do the same.

    *runs and shares all over social media* 😉
    xoxo

  64. Thank you Marie! My mom has told me to slow down my whole life because she was afraid I would get sick but later in life she wanted me to smell the roses. Hey, I can do that and still go full speed ahead. Now I have started my own business and she has said “I hope you make it”. I know she is worried & at this point in my life, success is the only option. The other day I said “I KNOW I can make it. You know that you couldn’t do this but I know that I can.” And that was the end of the “hope” statements. People can’t see beyond themselves and you just have to remind them who you are. I started this business for my 7 month old daughter, so that I can be there for her now, give her everything & then give her this business when she is ready. She is 7 months old and already goes to the bank with me. It’s her business too. This business is beyond money, beyond me, beyond anything material & there is NOTHING in this world that will slow me down. When I tell people the purpose behind my business, that it is for the future of my daughter, the vitality of my family and comes from my love as a mom, there is no hesitation, no thought of slowing down. People are on board with a mom’s love.

  65. Just sharing some fun: My four-year-old son wants to watch all the Marie TV episodes with me. He thinks you’re hilarious, Marie, and wants to meet the “real person of you” someday. He just watched this episode and proclaimed loudly: “I will not tell her to slow down!”

    LOL!

    Just sending love from your fans—of all ages!

    Angela

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Angela, that is absolutely adorable! I love that he watches MarieTV with you — start ’em young, right? 😉

  66. People tell me all the time, “Your life is so crazy busy!” or “Maybe you should just focus on one thing.”

    I get it because I work a full-time job working in a marketing department of two for a $1.5 billion company doing design, marketing strategy and social media, plus I’ve started up a branding business for entrepreneurs who want to brand their business in a way that truly reflects who they are.

    Add all professional responsibilities to personal goals and ambitions, and it makes sense why people on the outside think I’m a little nuts. But I love it. I love working with clients who are doing amazing things for others through their businesses and living a full life.

    This episode pairs perfectly with the “You are Enough” MarieTV episode because I think often times ambitious people forget that who they are already amazing and they don’t need to prove themselves. I think often times we have this idea that we aren’t contributing enough to the world and confuse it for not being enough ourselves.

    As always, great message, Marie!

    <3 Natalie

  67. First things first, it’s never easy to balance work and the health of a loved one. I admire your work ethic Marie and pray for your family in these trying times.
    Today’s Q&A really made me stop and think about the different type of people I have associated myself with and what their advice for me usually sounds like. For me, I went into an opportunity that focuses on leadership development, with global distribution of our medical break-through products. It’s a passion for me to help people see their true potential! I want to inspire the masses, and influence individuals. I take my business extremely serious…so when my best friend told me that I shouldn’t have to give up things I enjoy, like Sunday football, I had to sternly tell her this isn’t a hobby of mine. She gave up YEARS to go to school, to find herself as a bank teller (nothing wrong with it, she’s content) but it is a position she doesn’t need a college degree for.
    Birds of a feather flock together. One of my favorite quotes is by Les Brown
    “if your the smartest one in your group, find a new group”
    I’ve had the same group of friends since elementary school, and they are all okay with settling. One of the best things I’ve learned is that it’s okay to change your surroundings, and the people you surround yourself with that are not striving to be more!

  68. #1 – loved hearing you answer that! WOOT!

  69. I’m so happy to hear about your Dad! I was praying for your family! I truly felt in my spirit (right away) that he was going to recover! But still sending lots of prayers and healing your way!

    Thank you for today’s Q! OMG! I used to get this a lot from old friends and still occasionally hear it. But it’s always from people going nowhere-ville.

    Yes I’ve had to learn balance but slow down? Not gonna happen 😉

    Thank you Marie!

    You’re awesome!

    Caity

  70. I love this one because I like to keep the flow going. However, it was my magnificent coach Nicky who gave me HUGE clarity on a different perspective on what it means to “Slow down.” Basically, it comes to this:

    Slow down your mind to speed up your inspired actions. Then you’re acting with focus, sustaining your energy (and increasing it along the way), you’re ahead of the game, and you’re on point with what you do/say/create.

    Thanks again for such a great post.

    Much love to you and your amazing family!!

  71. Dana

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, for posting this video. I have been struggling with someone close in my life constantly telling me to slow down, when all the work I’m doing is building my own business, inspiring me, giving me hope, and makes every cell in my body feel alive. The last thing I want to do is slow down. Although this person is someone I really care about, their life is depressing. They’re struggling, unambitious, depressed, sick, and sinking. They only see work as something negative. So, whenever they ask me what I’m up to and I say working, they instantly think I’m torturing myself no matter how much I tell them I love every bit of it, even the difficult projects. I’ve lost respect for this person I care for because of it. They’re always trying to tell me to not achieve my goals.

    The one other frustrating thing I hear from people is, when I tell people I’m starting my own business, people love to tell me how much work it is. Like that’s some gem of wisdom I didn’t know. It baffles me. Of course your own business is a lot of work, I never expected it to not be nor do I ever complain about work, I love it.

  72. Veronica

    Although I agree with a lot of what is being said, and although I count myself as hungry and ambitious to give back, the piece that may be missed here is that sometimes ambitious people truly do need to learn how to slow down in order to make themselves the most effective version of themselves possible.

    Ambitious folks are very prone to burnout, and at times will avoid taking care of themselves and really questioning WHY they’re putting the effort into what they’re doing. I know a lot of ambitious people who are ambitious simply for the fact of being ambitious and it’s pretty irritating, because you see them destroying their health, safety, and well-being in the blind name of “success” (i.e. money, leadership positions, etc.). I have much more respect for the ambitious folks who know where their personal balance lies and can push themselves while also knowing their internal WHY for what they’re doing what they’re doing!

    • Hey Veronica! You must have not read the post – as I shared, I’m not talking about driving yourself to burnout. That’s the opposite of what I stand for.

  73. Hilary

    Ah, I can relate so much to this! My partner recently tried (with good intentions) to squash my dreams, telling me I should “start smaller” and work up to my big goals, maybe in 20 years or after retirement. He implied that I’d be setting myself up for failure if I went straight for my big goals. I think he was trying to protect me from disappointment, but…. grrrrrr!!!!! So, thank you for this! I needed to hear it!

  74. Maria

    There’s nothing worst than someone telling me to slow down. It’s like they are saying “I think you can’t handle this”. But that’s their stuff projected onto me most of the times! We need to filter feedback as you recommend: in (people I respect), out (people I don’t)

  75. People ALWAYS tell me to slow down. At times, it was good advice (I was burning out), but at other times, I was just moving so fast that I was overwhelming those around me which how much I was doing/wanting to accomplish (i.e. nothing wrong with me, more their problem). I think it’s important to ask people what it is that makes them feel you should “slow down”? It’s always worth understanding why someone says what they say – do they think you aren’t happy? do they think you don’t sleep enough? etc. I would want to know why they said that. Once I hear their concerns, I can reflect on that and determine if it’s a legit concern or if they just don’t see the full picture. My BF often tells me to slow down but in the past, she has been able to spot the point in time in which I lose my sense of humor, I get frustrated more easily, and am moments away from burn out mode… sometimes she’s got some wisdom for me… 😉

  76. Kat

    Hallelujah Amen! From a fast-paced East Coast-raised gal living in somewhat culture shock in Northern California.

    The word “mellow” seems to be a virtue and common positive descriptor of people here in California. Which I don’t comprehend, & it doesn’t describe me. I thought “mellow” meant calm & resting, to the point of lacking ambition: not focused, in action, or getting things done! : )

  77. Marie, it’s so good to feel that I’m not alone in this! I have very often heard that comment too – that I should slow down.

    But over the years, I’ve realised that I’m the type of person who gets energised when there is a lot going on. I fit to a T the expression: “Want something done? Give it to a busy person!”

    That said, since I’ve become a mum, I’ve had to slow down. I noticed that my constant busyness made my daughter impatient (craving attention all for herself). So I’ve been progressively learning to be still… And it’s not that bad either.

    I guess there will come a time when I get more done again!

    Wishing you and you family all the best! Happy to hear that your dad is feeling better.

    Elsa

  78. Michelle

    I am one of those ambitious people that friends have told to “slow down” repeatedly, this is because I attempt to do a million more things then the average person should. And all this activity and drive and desire, destroys my adrenals, raises my cortisol levels, trashes my immune system and usually means I am not as present in my relationships as those relationships deserve I be.
    Most of the ambitious people I know are exactly like me, and the one who isn’t, no one tells to “slow down”. I would suggest that most friends intentions when saying such a thing is not to hold you back, and the defensiveness around hearing it probably means you are running from something you need to “slow down” and look at.
    Desire and ambition and creative fire is fantastic as long as you don’t burn yourself and others up in the process. Rarely do I see this balanced ambition in ambitious people.

    These days I am trying to do one thing at a time well. When I feel the voice inside me say “Its not enough”, “Do more!”, “Hurry up!” or the ambition to complete all my new ideas (which there are a million at any given time) calls to me even though clearly I could use a day of sitting and staring blankly at a wall, I question “Why the rush?” “What will happen if I don’t?”

    Thank you to the person who shared the Ted talk about slowing down.
    I love to remind myself of this quote when I am feeling crazy: “You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day. Unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.”

  79. Sindi Ayap

    Dear Marie and community,

    This is very timely as I am counting down my last two weeks at work. I applied for a job in a humanitarian agency and longed to grow in the agency. Unfortunately,my boss seems to see me differently, telling me that I’m much in a hurry and too passionate. I’ve never known that my passion was a negative thing. I applied for a company-paid scholarship in one of my dream programs but it was his approval that was needed. He rejected my application and told me to settle for local trainings. To me, it was the cue to move on and when you emphasized that I have to look at WHO this person is, I realized that my boss has no social life, is a self confessed insecure person, and has no savings account at 43 years old! The idea of having to work with someone who downplays and even hinders my growth is suicide. So I am moving on and become even more passionate than ever 🙂 Salamat, Marie!

  80. There is a difference between “Slow Down” and “Let Go”. When people say slow down, they are not saying let go. You said everything is better when you do it twice. I don’t agree with that. Some things are definitely better when you do them slower. : )

  81. Sabita Saleem

    As always, love you Marie. You speak straight from my heart. I’ve been asked to turn off this naturally driven ambitious drive to grow since the early days. For me, it’s equivalent to dying. And I stopped expressing myself for an extended period in my life. Deep down I thought it’s rare but the seemingly “I’m busy” phrase kept me away from recognizing it like you put it just now.

    You are such an inspiration. Thank you so much.

  82. I avoid the slow down Debbie downers. It’s all about knowing your own sense of boundaries , what’s too much, what’s too little and what’s just right. Being fully alive in a healthy way, fulfilling your dreams and goals doesn’t happen if you slow down to a crawl or speed up, spreading yourself too thin. Balance brings harmony, and harmony brings happiness. Those slow downers may have good intentions, but I say to them, mind your own business, take your own inventory, live and let live.

  83. Marie,
    THE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING!
    Thanks for this amazing point. I usually get ” you are all over the place” and “how does your husband handle you?” Since I am not a traditional “anyone” it is hard for people to understand me…my business…my acting career…the way I run my home…my kids…but the truth is in the pudding. I have two kids that both follow their heart, a husband that has created a life he wants, a business that I can stand behind and an acting career ..I enjoy seeming like the Tasmanian
    devil…it keeps me alive and invigorated!

  84. Sky

    I had people close to me, when I was going through a tough spot tell me to consider getting a day job. I had a few people in my life, offer me jobs, tell me to settle and get a job a month before a BIG break through with my business!!! Don’t give up, ignore and the break through moment is just around the corner!!! 🙂 Sky

  85. Very happy to hear your Pops is better Marie! <3

  86. Sherry

    First of all, I’m so glad to hear your dad’s doing well. I send more positive thoughts for him to keep on getting better and stronger! 🙂

    I’m mulling over this week’s Q&A Tuesday – it’s major food for thought because I’ve never considered myself a super ambitious person. I’ve always thought of people like that as the ones who have the ability to be great salespeople, always going and doing, while I feel more introverted and struggle with the thought of putting myself out there.

    However… at the same time, for most of my life I *have* had that inner voice, that desperate itch, the poke poke nudge nudge gut feeling inside that I’m meant to do something good, something important, something MORE. I guess in a quieter way, that might be my ambition calling? (Or my soul’s purpose trying to make itself known or get me to dig harder to find it?)

    And when I do feel a fire about something, I don’t like being told “no” or “do you really want to do that?” or “can you really make money doing that?” Questions like that make me even more determined to get it done and show that there is more to life, there is great possibility and we shouldn’t give up. Am I a naive fool, believing that there is “more” out there for me to do and achieve and become? I don’t think so. I may not be there yet, I may not have found that sweet spot niche where I exhale and say, “Yes, this is where I’m meant to be,” but I do feel enough of a drive to keep looking and trying. I think it’s important, because if we just spend our lives coasting along and not really paying attention, what’s the point of life? Why are we really here? Why waste it by living unconsciously?

    Marie, you’ve talked about how you tried many different avenues (creating workouts, working for MTV, working for Gourmet magazine, working on Wall Street) and at last you became a life coach. When you first found that option, did something shift? Did you feel like –cue the angel choir singing– “This is it. I feel like I’ve been hit over the head. This is right for me. This is what I’ve been searching for”? Or was a more gradual realization that you found your true calling?

  87. Marie,

    Thank you for this post, and hope your father keep getting better.

    I am an ambitious person, so your advice about who is telling you to go slow is a perfect fit.

  88. Thanks so much Marie! This post inspired me to share it with my friends on Facebook with the following message:

    It is with kindness that I politely ask my friends and family to stop telling me to slow down. It’s not good advice because it’s not going to happen and although I may sometimes seem stressed and busy, I am absolutely loving it! If I’m having a bad day and seeking support, telling me to take a day off will make me feel worse because on top of whatever I’m dealing with, you’re saying I also don’t know how to look after myself. Please say positive helpful things like “don’t worry, it’ll all be worth it” or “keep doing your best, that’s all you can do.”

  89. Alani

    I freaken loved this one! Perfect for what I am going through. Damnit! 🙂

  90. I don’t really have issues with people telling me to slow down. I’m naturally in a slow place right now, so people look to me and say, “Wow, you have really slowed down and seem much more vibrant.” This feels like a natural place for me to be right now.

    What I do hear from people – and my buttons really get pushed by it – when someone says, “You expect too much.” Naturally I’m one of those people who tends to leave a place, an experience, a piece of something, whatever it is, a little better than it was when I found it. With a little more love, a bit more light, I feel how something could be more connected, brighter and I’ll use my own money, time or energy just to enhance something because I just believe that’s how energy and the world works. I regularly have people telling me it’s a waste to do that, I expect too much, why bother.

    I really don’t listen to them, but it does grate on my nerves and sometimes I find myself saying, “Why bother. No one else cares.” Bugs the crap out of me.

  91. Cindy

    Love the video! My pet peeve from those who don’t understand my drive – interruptions. “Don’t you want to go to the beach today?” or “Let’s go to the movies or to the bar?”, because “You can do that some other time.”

    As a writer, working on completing three books set for release this summer, developing and creating an on-line course, and setting up for a major book set for release in two years…lots of research and interviews with key players already signing up for the book; I really dislike hearing a knock on my door with the please do not disturb sign on it, or getting a text saying, “Are you done yet?”

    Sometimes I feel like preparing little busy bags for folks like I did for my children when they were toddlers, and saying, “Here, color for awhile, then read, then have a snack, and then rest. Come back when you’re done!” LOL

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Ha! That’s a pretty brilliant idea, Cindy! Whatever you have to do to keep the peace so you can work, right? 😉

  92. I have always been a very driven person. Seven years ago a spinal cord injury forced me to be in bed 20 hours a day. Everything came to a screeching halt. This state of affairs lasted over a year and a half. Slowly I have worked my way into Self-employment in my own Art Studio. I am still me. Though they have changed dramatically, I STILL, I have big goals and intentions for my work and my life. I am driven to create and achieve and I suspect that will never change.
    My body tells me often enough to slow down.
    Making up for LOTS of lost time here. The last thing I want is to be told by yet another entity that I cannot do what I intend to do. The people I appreciate most are the ones who observe that I may need some assistance and offer to actually ASSIST in a manner which is encouraging and supportive (i,e. a reminder to work from a different position when they see the one I am using is a struggle, ideas to modify my work space, or simply handing me something that I can’t reach), without implying that I can’t achieve my goals. For me, slowing down is synonymous with “stopping” and that simply is NOT acceptable. Instead, suggestions that are adaptively useful ,that don’t take me of my path or downplay the importance of my goals, are always welcome.

  93. SO GOLDEN. I agree. I always feel guilty b/c people tell me this all the time. But I am not happy when I cut out all the achievements and projects. I thrive on it. Lately the pendulum has swung too far and I am a bit out of control so yes I need to relax myself, BUT I agree if you don’t put out the vibe of craziness not only do you not get as many warnings but you show how you recognize everyone is busy and that much of your projects are self inflicted. You can’t play victim to a crazy busy life if its all self driven. If I slow down, I pretty much poop out completely so I just know this is my pace. I enjoy yoga, vacations and relaxing but only for short periods to re-energize. If you are happy being mediocre, more power to you and therefore more power to people like me!

  94. For those who want to go slower, that’s their thing. You have a choice whether to be at that level or not. Sometimes in life you are speedier because of energy and enthusiasm or drive and do-it-now feelings. You choose your own pace. When they try to drag you down, say no thanks.

  95. Nope, I have people around me who admire ambitious folks like me. My mom used to tell me to slow down when I was little, but she gave it up, she now encourages me. And particularly this community doesn’t let me ‘slow down’ 🙂

  96. My answer to being advised with these two words: “I’m an author, publisher, business owner and mother of 3 kids including one who is a blind teenager. I simply don’t have time to slow down. I’m working on my legacies: raising children and creating excellent literature. 🙂

  97. Beautifully put!!!! the SLOW factor is to listen to Your Self~ You and Your Higher Being-ness must learn to be the judge of the Work you are here to do. Working WHILE weaving in the Light. Consciously bringing It in so we become the cellularly In the beauty we are creating. Boom. xo <3 So thank you Marie for being ON POINT for a very difficult human spiritual subject. 🙂

  98. I get this all the time. I am often a little frazzled during season, but Mostly I hate when people act like I’m crazy because I voluntarily work a midnight schedule. I’m a photographer and most of my booking are after afternoon and evenings and then I stay up all night editing so theres no other outside light messing with my eyes when I color correct and so I cant be as easily distracted as I could if I wandered outside on a nice day or had lunch with a friend. Everyone acts like I’m killing myself but Sleeping 5am-1pm is just as valid as sleeping 11pm-7am. It works for me. I love the quiet and being alone after my husband goes to bed.

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Jenni, I think some folks just don’t understand things they aren’t familiar with, but if it works for you and brings you joy, I say it’s all good!

    • Sherry

      I know what you mean, Jenni. I get a lot of “Why do you stay up so late?” or “You should get to bed at a ‘decent hour’.” They don’t seem to grasp that sometimes the quiet of later evening works well for me. I have no phone interruptions at that time of night, it feels like the world around me is asleep so I have complete focus without the “noise” of outside life distracting me. I might not always stay up super late, sometimes when I know I’m tired I will go ahead and hit the hay sooner than usual, but when I get on a roll, I see nothing wrong with staying up that late. It’s awesome. *GRIN*

      But like Kristin says, if people aren’t used to it, if it’s not part of their scope, they just don’t understand it so they question it as if it’s wrong. But maybe it’s just wrong for THEM. Not for you or me! 😀

      I second Kristin — if it works for you and brings you joy, go for it. I cheer you on!

      • Thanks Sherry! That’s exactly it. No noise, no o0o0o Shinny (Wanders off chasing a butterfly). The BEST call I’ve made however to help focus my ambition is hiring my BFF who is a SAHM to do all my scheduling so I have regulated daily goals and don’t use my middle of the night time to get lost on the internet… and reply to blog threads… whoops. lol

        • Sherry

          “so I have regulated daily goals and don’t use my middle of the night time to get lost on the internet… and reply to blog threads… whoops. lol”

          HAHAHAA… see, we’re both up! (At least, it’s late where I am. I don’t know where you are. *GRIN*)

          I’m winding down for the night a little earlier than usual tonight, but I send you all sorts of positive energy for your nighttime projects. Have fun!

  99. Panto Thenic

    Excellent episode, I loved Marie’s response, have had the same thing happen to me, I’m driven and I love it, and I don’t have time for their s__t. If they want to live life in the slow lane, so be it. I do have mixed thoughts on this, though. There are some who are driven, but they have more of a “I’m the master you’re the servant” attitude that they throw at other people. Known plenty of managers like this. It’s an insecurity. So, I love going full speed ahead while having to remember to respect others.

  100. People don’t tell me to slow down, because I take things one at a time and feels great! no need for drama!

  101. I’m so glad that your dear Dad is feeling better. Still sending prayers for continued healing. During B-School I had an accountability partner whose energy level and ambition were different than mine. She is lovely and wonderful but our styles are different and each week she would tell me that I had too much planned to accomplish. Nope! Not for me! I got things done but could let myself off the hook because she wouldn’t help keep me on track for what she saw as too much. She is still my treasured friend but I have another accountability buddy who matches my ambition with her own.

  102. Hi Marie!

    First of all thank you for all your work to inspire others! It’s an amazing task and you are rocking it!

    I really appreciate this episode because it brought up the opposite issue for me. I hit a brick wall and motivation and ambition are memories for me. I’m currently selling a business that I’ve owned for 9 years to pursue something that feeds me and helps others. My problem is motivation. I just want to be at home with my kiddo and decorate my house. I feel inferior when I see women around me kicking ass with energy I only remember having. I’m happy for them but I feel it highlights the lack in me. I’ve changed my diet and I do exercise and I’ve taken time off to relax but this “burn out” is epic. How do you Re-energize, Re-focus and Re-motivate after burn out?

    Thank you muchly!
    Sarah

  103. Denisse

    WOW! You hit in the right spot- in a good way!

    I am currently struggling with exactly this; I am 27 years old and working on my bachelors, I just got married last year and everything is great….until everyone start bashing me about “when are you going to start a family?” When I give them my answer….”well when I finish my bachelors I will be going to Medical school and then by then I can have time to start a family?” No one likes my answer. They say, “well you know your husband is 10 years older than you, and you aren’t getting any younger, if you start having kids by the time you finish school you’ll be in your 30’s and your husband in his 40’s, that’s pretty old to be a parent -you just wont have the same energy.”

    So I just don’t know if they are right, or if I should continue with my ambition to be a Doctor! Right now my focus is my school, my business, my job and my husband….I don’t have room for a child. But then my husband doesn’t want to be too old either and these people are getting to him. HELP Marie this is frustrating.

  104. This lesson is a hard one for me to swallow…mainly because my whole business is built around the idea of slowing down, doing less, and finding ease in your yoga practice in order to revitalize you so that you can do more in your day-to-day life.

    Some people hate it when I suggest they slow down in classes and I wonder if I’m being insensitive with my business model. I definitely don’t have the life of my dreams but I’m working hard to get there, so why should they take my advice?

    I should refine what I’m suggesting to clients – appreciate the process as it unfolds…that’s really what I mean by ‘slow down.’

    As a business owner in the wellness field, I definitely vacillate between slowing down and pushing. I want to provide a good example for my clients. You make some really great points that I’ll be digesting for a while! Thanks Marie!

  105. Wanda Bowing

    The thing that comes to my mind is when I’m working within a team framework and I encounter someone who’s speed is self-serving and not conducive to group function. I don’t necessarily think people who fire at a high speed in groups are “self-centered” only that a high speed isn’t always suited to the task at hand. Frankly, speed and depth are not always analogous.

    Personally I have always worked at a speed not comfortable for most–which is fast. Over the years I’ve learned to temper my speed when around others. That the particular vibration of my speed can make some restless or uncomfortable. To be sure this is a discomfort for them, but it is not my wish to make discordant relationships either.

    Perhaps having children or working with the elderly has made me aware of just how uncomfortable it can be for some to be around my vibrational speed (as it were). Perhaps all I’m saying is it’s as important to listen to the person asking us to slow down as it is for us to consider the reasons why.

  106. Great news about your Pops!!!! So glad to hear! Thanks for keeping us updated, we are concerned about you and your family!!

    People always tell me “you are doing too much” you have “too much on your plate.” I say: Yep! Thanks for telling me what you think is too much, but one day when I’m successful you will see!

    I need to be busy…like you said I want to use up my ambition and drive and know at the end of my life I did stuff!

  107. Such great points! In 2014 I was so overwhelmed – being a new mom, trying to push forward in establishing my career and getting used to my new lifestyle and still trying to do everything I was doing before my baby came in to my world. At that point – yes, I had to slow down and it was the best move I could have made because I finally was able to get clear about what I really wanted out of my life and how I wanted to get there.

    Fast forward to a year later – I am going towards my goals at full speed and not turning back. I don’t feel overwhelmed and I’m “doing” a lot more than I ever have been. New job, launched my own business, thinking about baby #2, training for a bikini competition and having dinner on the table every night. Booya!

    • Dang girl! You’re unstoppable, keep it up! 🙂 Also, nice name. 😉

  108. Viridiana

    Hi,

    I’m glad your Dad is getting better, you were on my prayers last week. I want to send you “Thank you flowers” to which address should I sent them?

  109. It’s funny how related things seem to happen to you on given days… I always lay the fault on the Universe trying to get through to the most distracted person on Earth (me). Right before watching Marie TV today, I read a post my sister shared, it said: “Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy shit… what a ride!'” Phrased differently, you touched upon this in today’s episode. Coincidently, I was advised to slow down this morning, and got just slightly annoyed by the well-meant suggestion and thought “As if…!” And, while I am not sure I’d call myself ambitious, slowing down is just not who I am either 🙂 Thanks, Marie 🙂

  110. Thing is, the drive which gets you through all the stuff in your business is a worry to others. Forget their life routes, they are making their own choices – you have to work your doodaahs off to start and grow a business at warp speed.

  111. Katrina S.

    Happy Tuesday!

    Marie, I absolutely love you and all that you stand for; passion, determination, authenticity, inspiration, the list goes on and on! Any time I need a kick in the pants, I hop on my elliptical and watch your videos. You always help reignite my fire within…..THANK YOU!!!

    Hugs & High Fives,
    Katrina S.

    p.s. Thrilled to hear that your Father’s condition is improving! Sending continued happy thoughts in your family’s direction!

  112. Ada

    Most people around me support my ambitious tendencies are amazed by what I can fit in a 24 hour day. However, it breaks my heart when I see my 8 year old look at me and say, “mom, why do you work so much?” I purposely put everything down between the hours of 5-9pm to be present with her, but obviously she senses that I have that itch to be creating. Because I am passionate about my career, my favorite hobby is doing/working on things related to it (Rehab based Pilates). When I am in the studio working directly with patients/clients, time flies because I am in the flow. It’s hard to put that down. When I am home, this is when I want to create, but obviously this is difficult when I know every action and decision I make about how I spend time with my family will impact her view on the world. Does anyone have any advice on how to strike the balance here? I know everybody has a balancing act, which is why I am particularly impressed with this community

  113. Oh my, you just described my life in the past 8 months.
    I was with business partners for 10 years that didn’t want to do anything!
    They never did anything that wasn’t over managed and firmly in their comfort zones.
    Last year my wonderful Hubby and I came up with a great new product that could really make us some serious money. The company wasn’t doing well and we thought we should just go for it. Our partners delayed and stalled the project to the point where we realized they just didn’t want to take the chance.
    We decided to ditch them and go out on our own. We had to raise all the money ourselves with some key personal investors and we went for it.
    AWESOME does not describe our situation now. And this drive you talk about was squashed in us for 10 years.
    Now things are sweet and shiny and this year we’ve expanded and after a bottle of wine decided to launch another product we’ve been thinking of.
    You are such an inspiration Marie. Thank you so much! xxoo
    Cindy & Jonathan

    • I’m so happy to hear you ditched that biz partner. It must have been difficult, but it’s amazing how much one person can slow things down. I once worked with someone like that who seemed to never want to finish our projects. I created some of my best work with her, but, alas had to give it up!

      • Oh never finishing … That must have been the perfectionist in your group. We had one of those as well. Cheers and success to you!

  114. Manuel

    Dear Miss. Forleo,
    I am glad that Your family is good health.
    Yours sincerely,
    Manuel.

  115. Laura

    I hate to slow down , sometimes I think that I am not productive if I am not stressed as I like to be!.
    It makes me feel alive and enjoying this unique life I got .
    And I hope that each time our day comes down all of we will remember the grade dance of you guys! It is just awsome!!! Thank you !

  116. People always tell me to slow down because I have three small children! But I love working and what I do and I always want more. Trying to balance it all is hard but I just can’t stop hearing that inner voice that pushes me everyday to make my business better.

  117. Amy

    It drives me bananas when people tell me to be realistic! Who’s to say my dreams aren’t realistic? It all starts with imagination <3

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Right? Who’s to say what is or isn’t realistic anyway?! 🙂

  118. Eliane

    For me, it was the contrary. I have a calm and soft energy and was always pressured to “go faster”, “do something”, and that kind of pressure used to paralyze me instead of motivating me. On another hand, those comments helped me to learn to take my place, respect myself and the rhythm of others.

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Eliane, I can see how that kind of message is totally paralyzing instead of motivating! I think the overall message here is to trust what feels best in your own nature, and it sounds like you do that well 🙂

  119. YES! Perfectly said, Marie. What drives me bananas is when I try to aim to have a more enjoyable, luxurious lifestyle, I get told that I should settle for something cheaper. Which is understandable, they’re looking out for me and my best interests financially, but I’ve been “living cheaper” all my life. It doesn’t make me feel good, keeps me stuck and I know I deserve better than these “cheaper” things. It’s time for a change, and I know that it will challenge me to work smarter and more strategic in my business. For that reason, I finally hired my first business coach recently! 🙂

  120. Don Haney

    Marie, I’m glad that your father is doing better.

    This is related to the subject here. Since last year, my weight, blood pressure, and blood sugar are down. When someone asks me about losing weight, I say that I have been eating less and exercising more. A healthier lifestyle should be a good thing, right? But, I have heard comments like “I bet you are starving.” Or the implication that I am losing weight because I am sick. If I am eating too much, taking blood pressure pills and diabetes pills, that would be sick in my opinion. But, I am not taking any prescription drugs, and I just passed my annual physical for health insurance.

    I just look at the source. The people that have thought that I must be starving, or sick, are people that NEED to lose weight. I don’t say it, but I’m thinking to myself “I don’t want to be like you.” The people that are happy that I have lost weight are healthier and happier than those that think that I am doing something wrong.

  121. Unfortunately some of the people we are around are like crabs you don’t want to be caught in a barrel with them. I used to make myself small to conform to the small mindedness of friends but now I have learned that my dreams are not to be shared with people like that who zap my energy but with people who get it and add to my excitement. I know I have a valuable contribution to make to the world and I am not going to let anyone tell me otherwise. Thanks Marie, sometimes we need a remember because truly there are so many crabs in the world who can’t see outside the barrel.

  122. Thanks Marie!

    First of all, I’m so glad to hear that your Pops is doing better!

    Thanks for your message today. I totally had an Ah Ha! moment as I was watching your show. I had a lady that after I told her what I was doing, just said, “Is there even a market for that?” I really think that that comment keeps lingering in the back of my mind, every time I try to write a blog post. Or any time I try and put myself out there. So thank you for reminding me about who I am listening to. Thanks for making a difference to ME!

  123. My two least favorite cautions are “Are you sure you’re qualified?” and “That sounds risky.” I’m not talking about sinking mega-bucks into something I haven’t adequately researched. The caution is that spending ANY time on a new endeavor is likely to be a waste because “those things rarely work out, doncha know.” My answer: Double up on my homework to make sure they DO work out, and use economic savvy when starting out. As for whether or not I’m qualified, I figure anybody can learn anything if they put in the time to ask the right questions of the right people. Right?

  124. Tal

    Oh this video is so on point for me. I have great goals and dreams and everyone around me thinks I’m too idealistic. When I talk about the issues that drive me and why I want to do something to change them, most people look at me like I’m crazy for trying. I’ve even had people tell me I care too much. How is that possible?!

    It reminds me of that Dr. Seuss quote ““Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

    Thanks for the reminder Marie!

  125. Hey Marie and happy team, it is great that your dad is getting better.

    Anyway, I consider myself ambitious person, but what drives me nuts is when people tell me: “OK, you did this and that. Now you should have a baby/buy house/move to bigger place/ invest in new XYZ.” I absolutely hate that! We all have different visions of success and I hate when someone tells me what I SHOULD do and how successful life SHOULD look like. Makes sense?

    • Absolutely makes sense Milena. We need to live our own formula or path for a happy and successful life, right!? 🙂

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      I hear you, Milena. There’s no one right path and what is a “should” for one person might not be the same for another!

  126. Cindy

    One of my most dis-liked comments is…..”you need money to do that.”

  127. Love this video! I am a person that needs to run until a project is complete, and that may mean I get 4 hours of sleep a night for two weeks, but then when it’s done, I sleep. I love this about myself, but I find that harbor a guilt about it, because I’m “supposed to” be balanced.

    Thank you for sharing.

    -Tara

  128. Drives me bananas when people ask how my project is going? Project? I’m building a business. Launching high quality products for managers – worldwide! My business is not a “project.” LOL.

    • Hahaha YES Kimberly!!! I personally set myself up for that one though – my business is called Project Healthy Happy Me… so now I can’t really blame them for asking me that question no matter how degrading it sounds! 😉

  129. Hi Marie
    As a person of more ‘mature’ years, I am so fed up of being told I should be slowing down and thinking of retiring. I feel like I am only just getting started. I have recently been on the brink of burn out but it has been more to do with not having the right goals in place and being scattered and trying to please everyone. I don’t intend slowing down. I don’t think many people half my age can keep up! My kids can because they have been brought up in the same way.
    Best wishes to you and your dad
    Julie

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Julie, I think it’s great you’re doing your thing despite what people are telling you. No one knows better than you what speed is best for your life!

  130. Ashley Harkey

    Thank you Marie for your enthusiasm in this video. I love how fired up you were on the topic. I feel like if we aren’t slowing down then we are allowing ourselves to take more risks in life which allow us to elvolve into finding out who we are. I also love the two distinctions you made about if your taking on to much and running around like a chicken. That’s where I feel prioritizing and creating a game plan comes into play so your in control. Thank you again Marie!

  131. I was pushing myself too hard (12-16 hour days, 6-7 days/week) building my website and doing B-School. It was my Guides who told me to slow down via my physical/energy body. I’ve learned to listen to/trust them… but it took me longer than usual because of the chaos I had created with self-imposed deadlines, technophobia, etc. I’m glad I slowed down (for 11 days away), so that I can now enjoy the journey on the way to my goal. I even got a blog post out of it. Purpose and passion are great! So is loving ourselves in the process of reaching our dreams. I’m no longer putting the same pressure on myself and enjoying life/getting my art business off the ground much better now.

  132. Awesome, thank you for validating what I am doing!!!

  133. I really appreciate this video! I feel like I’ve gotten so many message to slow down or calm down in the past. Some of which were helpful, others not so much.

    Problem for me, and I am wondering if other people experience this too, is that I need things to go a little too fast to get stuff done. This is why I like tight deadlines and lots of things on my plate. When I don’t do this I just don’t get much done. People tend to tell me to give myself more time, but at this point in my life I realize they don’t know how I work and I should keep doing what I know works for me.

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Alexandra, I definitely don’t think you’re alone in feeling this way! I know plenty of folks who thrive and do their best work under pressure. Everyone is different — if you know what works best for you, own it! 🙂

  134. The dual nature of your answer was so perfect Marie. I have dear friends who often advise me to “Just pick ONE thing!” This type of mentoring often leaves me feeling.. angstie at best…Like “OMG you guys don’t get it!” But, I have been learning and training myself to be fully confident in my abilities. When we find ourselves around people encouraging us to Slow Down, we can be a bit more pro-active and make sure the life story we are sharing with them is one we would be excited to hear too Always love your insight Marie, catch you next Tuesday!

  135. Someone once told me that if my business want successful in a certain amount of time, I should give up. He’s now my ex boyfriend.

  136. I think we all have different speeds. If I try and do too much, I’m the ditsy, intense nutcase. If I slow down, I’m much more effective. Then I know women who crave action and speed and if they go too slow, they get grouchy and depressed. I think its all about knowing ourselves.

    • Absolutely Laurie – like all things in life we are SO unique and different – and we have to find out own formula or optimal speed. 🙂

  137. Love this Marie, and was so pleased to hear that your Dad is doing better.

    Like most things in life, I trust my OWN instinct around whether I need to slow down. I am ambitious – I push myself hard and I am proud of that. But at the same time, my body and the ‘universe’ start to give me little nudges when it’s truly time to slow down. I start to get illnesses, make silly mistakes, or have other little hiccups that show I might need reminding to fit in more self care or me time, or to take a break or weekend away.

    I don’t act like an overwhelmed ‘crazy’ person in front of others – so if they tell me to slow down, I tend to just say something along the lines “Thank you, but I’m okay. Truly. I like juggling lots of balls. I’m a pro at it. And I have a beautiful self care practice. But thank you, I’ll keep this in mind if I ever do begin to feel overwhelmed.” Or something along those lines – and yes, as you say, reflecting on who it is that says things like this to me and how I want to manage that relationship moving forward.

    Thanks again, Marie. You’re amazing as per usual. x

  138. First – so glad to hear your dad is doing better, Marie 🙂 Thanks for updating us! <3

    And…your advice is spot on 🙂

    When you're in business, it's hard not to question what you're doing. Add in the peanut gallery and it's even more difficult.

    One other bit to add…once you get going, beware of some of these people who hated on you in the beginning, but try to use flattery to be a part of what you've built once you're making it. I've been coming across quite a few people like that lately and have heard several stories of business friends being taken advantage of – not cool!

    Bottom line: even after getting past the beginning stages of your business, it's important to stay true to you and the direction you want to take things. Be very careful who you trust and whose advice and observations you take to heart.

    And then…just rock it 🙂

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Amen to that, Catherine! 🙂

  139. Hey Marie,
    I love this advice, mostly because it is so “relatable”…. I am always looking for that next opportunity, project and business idea. Some people even see this as spreading yourself too thin… although i have to say that there were times where i was doing just that. It took me many years to accept that I am a creative person, and spreading seeds is the only to way to venture out with those new ideas. Most people see this as not knowing where you are headed and being someone who is “lost”… which is the complete opposite. While it might not be conventional, it is my way of living my greatest life, and honoring the person I am… is it for everyone… ofcourse not, and that is ok… but it is for me. I have accepted myself, and the way I choose to live my life, which has lead to down some amazing paths. While I welcome people’s opinion, I always consider my own first!
    Thank you for this…

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Exactly, Miranda — keep trusting your own heart. It knows best.

  140. Sekina Titilayo Okonu

    hi Marie!
    Glad to hear your dad is recovering. As you help care for him; ensure you make every moment enjoyable as you can. ‘After every difficult situation comes relief’. I’ve been looking for d opportunity to tell you how inspiring you are& that I’m so glad I found you! Stumbled on your site sometime ago while searching for answers on whether its OK to be multi passionate. Having been in the labour market for a long time searching for ‘the dream job’; without compromising my personal values; I decided to start doing my own thing; that was how I discovered how multi passionate I am; &I happen to be quite good in ‘all these things’ too! Someone who was close to me was always telling me ‘you are here, you are there! But its something from within; I only feel fulfilled when I do all these things I have passion for; I can not abandon one for another; I would feel very empty if I do that; I hope some people here understand this feeling? & I don’t get overwhelmed by it all because I don’t have to touch every passion everyday; & I know its good to delegate when there is a need. It happens the same someone who used to tell me I’m everywhere; cunningly stole a business idea I always share with her ‘cos I didn’t have the fundings to execute the project. I’ve learnt my lessons. Try to check out their motive if they try to slow you down. Just let your passion drive you! I’m moving ahead & I hope all my dreams come through. Trying to ‘monetize’ my passions & also working on my blog; with doggedness & perseverance; God’s willing; I will get there. Thanks Marie! Lots of love to you from Africa!

  141. WAYYYYY RIGHT, MARIE!!! Wow!! or me it’s when people tell me: it might be time to drop the dream. I’m like: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? Hahahah! 😀 I discovered my vocation and passion 3 years ago and have been working extremely hard to make it a reality. It has taken time to actually start to succeed and every time I felt a bit down because of huge effort and no results, my most loved would tell me maybe it was time to give up. They meant well but it would actually make me so mad I would get over myself straight away and hit again! 😀 Without realising they helped me so much! 😀
    BTW, it was thanks to BSchool that I FINALLY found out the way!! THANKS FORLEO TEAM!!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      We’re SO happy to hear that, Ximena. Go you! 🙂

  142. Oliver

    A response I received when I annouced I am writing a business letter for a Union is, “Somethings are not meant to be done”.

    More recently a response to a businesss idea I am proposing was, “You’re idea is too controversial “.

  143. Perfect timing for a powerful reminder! Thank you Marie! Three years ago, I had a burnout (my third!). I was told by everyone, including the doctors, that I had to SLOW DOWN. Well, I was so lost to myself, I did what I was told (very unlike me!). In fact, I slowed so far down, I went into depression and I never wanted to get up again! When I tried, I realized I had lost my vision, my confidence, and my passion for what I loved. Yes, there may be the occasion when reevaluation of one’s priorities may be necessary – however, I have learned that, when one is energetically “aligned” to that who they REALLY are, there is no such thing as SLOWING DOWN. In fact, I have come to know that, for me, it is extremely detrimental to my health! Human beings are designed to move fast and furious! If I were asked what I believed to be the key? I would answer ,,, Alignment! Alignment! Alignment! INtegrity to your own authenticity! When being all you can be, and coming from that part of you that is the REAL YOU, (that’s that “you” underneath the one who you purport to be), it is impossible to SLOW DOWN! And if you try, you will be out of Alignment to that REAL of YOU! … just sayin! 😉

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Love what you shared about being in alignment with who we are because that really is a key piece. It pushes it beyond just hustling for the sake of hustling and means you’re dream-driven and you-driven.

      Thanks for sharing!

  144. Great episode, Marie! Here’s what people say to me that I can’t stand: “Be patient! It might take longer than you think it should…” UGH.

  145. Great video, and reminded me of another, similar phrase that makes me cringe…”you seem scattered”. I am an artist and aspiring writer, with many passions in life! I do have a million ideas, and I always write down the good ones so that I can still focus on the here and now. Others just don’t see the connection between all of my creative endeavors, yet it is all inextricable to me! I just tell them that they have no imagination and leave me alone…

  146. Sometimes I don’t want to tell people what I do to avoid that “Oh that’s a great hobby comment”! Or sounds kinda hippie!! But hey, what I do is a business too!
    Thanks for a great (as always) Marie TV episode and so glad your Papa is doing so well!

  147. This is FABULOUS. I seem to question whether or not the “slow downers” are right and I’m just all wrong… THANK YOU. THANK YOU. The point about being a “hot mess” is a good one and I wrote down (on my white board) Get A Schedule… I do need to be a bit better organized. That’s very different from slowing down, though.
    THANKS!!!!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Exactly, Christine! So glad this was just what you needed.

  148. Wow! I totally relate to today’s blog! I definitely have had people tell me that I work too hard, work too much, etc — but the truth is that I love it! I work full time, I write books (on my ‘spare’ time;-), I’m currently learning French and I also have a stack of books I plan to read…eventually…but I love being busy. It energizes me! I always say that only boring people get bored! Come on, there is so much to discover and learn on the Internet alone, I can’t imagine not being able to fill my days up. When my life is over, I want to be able to say I crammed something productive and enjoyable in every second:-) I’m not sure that some of my naysayers can necessarily do the same;-)

  149. I totally get this! I can’t slow down… my brain just works at this speed and when I am cramming my work life in between school pick ups, grocery shopping, a husband and three kids – I am on top of my game. If I’m forced to slow down (finish a project, stop for holidays or even the weekend) I struggle to feel motivated and stop enjoying each day as much as I do when I am doing the crazy, busy things. The things I have in place to help me do this are good support networks, great friends, my beautiful family and flexibility and freedom of working in my own business on my terms. Thanks for sharing! I do have a questions for you Marie – I am achieving great things in my business but each time I have a win, the bar raises higher and there is another achievement to reach. I am constantly striving to get to the next thing and once I get there, it feels like the bar rises again. I feel like I am climbing a never ending ladder and each step gets harder and harder. What do you do to feel content for what you have achieved and not just ever striving for the next thing and next thing? Thanks, Anna

  150. Lora

    Wow!! I just heard someone tell this to me recently. “slow down” “take baby steps” What?!!!! This person could not cope with my eagerness to get things done. I was rocking an rollin! Excited!! Moving an groovin!! and
    Bam!! You want me to slow down? Heck it was volunteer work…You want me to slow the momentum? I can do that if you never want a thing to happen ever again for your group.

    Thank you Marie for confirming my intuition an the great advice!

    You Rock!!

  151. Akisha

    I haven’t really gotten anyone telling me to slow down but I do get a lot of crap from my parents telling me to be realistic and it really bugs the crap out of me.

  152. hilda ayala

    Thanks Marie love all your videos its changing my life

  153. WOW!!! I was so glad i got your show today.. This was right up my alley. I have been dealing with this for a some time now. I’m a indie plus size fashion designer and in the last year or so my life has had a lot of changes and had to stop doing my fashion. I lost my father in September of last year, I got laid off from my last job in April of last year.. I have since then got back on my feet slowly. I have new full-time job that pays the bills but is very mentally draining, and in my desire to get my fashion business back going, i decided to enrolled in school to get my BA in business(online) even though I’m a traditionally class room learner, and this has put some added stress that I did not anticipated, plus I have the desire to get my plus size business back going that will not go away. I have talked to a few people and I have been told to step back and slow down and pray about it.. Sometimes I think I put to much on my plate adding school into the pot.. I thought going back to get my BA in Business would help me grow my fashion business, but the questions was with so many organization and programs out there to help entrepreneurs grow their business, do I really need school.. I do feel like I’m going in circle with my head cut off.. Your show today helped me, but I wonder if I’m doing too much..

    Lisa Kay Banks
    LKB Designs

  154. Go where you’re celebrated, not tolerated.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Exactly! That’s a wonderful way to put it.

  155. Jaimi

    Oh my gosh this came at a perfect time!
    I have a very busy lifestyle: I work part-time in medical research, study physical therapy full time, have an internship, I am starting a pilates and massage business and I make a conscious effort to go to the gym daily for at least a couple of hours. I love each of the things that I do but given the amount of time they take up, I often have to take responsibility and prioritize (which I am more than happy to do).
    I have one friend however, who consistently wants to make plans at very inconvenient times (like during finals) and gets very angry and tries to make me feel guilty when I get on the “no train” at these important times. Twice in the past 2 weeks during finals I have been told I “need to get my head out of the books” and to “slow down and loosen up”. I started doubting myself, and got quite upset about it all. But having watched this video I realize that he is one of those people I don’t particularly want to listen to, as he has one job and still lives at home with his parents and no responsibility. It finally made me feel ok for being ambitious, and I will continue to work really hard and make time for the people in my life who are not trying to bring me down.

  156. I hear this all the time. Especially from my mother who is retired and has little to do but is always ‘busy’. Often too busy to do the things most people just do on a normal day. I also hear it from clients I coach to be more productive. People who see others achieving, accomplishing and producing, often feel uncomfortable because they are not. It is much easier to try to get someone to ‘slow down’ than it is to ‘catch up’ to them. If I have 20 minutes between meetings or am waiting for a ride, I will check something off my list instead of leafing through the latest issue of InStyle. I put things where they belong instead of waiting to do it later. I make important calls as soon as I have a chance, schedule meetings when there is a free 15 minutes, take a call when I am busy to save the time of having to call back, schedule projects on slow days instead of hanging out and plan ahead when ever there is a chance in my day.
    People often wonder how I get so much done. I create a 28 hour day by not wasting time so when I am ready to relax and enjoy a great meal and glass of wine with the man I love, I am free and clear to do it without worrying about all I have left to do.
    Most people who want a productive person to slow down, really wish they themselves could speed up. Even a little. But it is an effort so they instead wish we didn’t do so much. Then we could all feel good….

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      These are some smart strategies, Fred! There are always little hidden pockets of time, but we tend to fill them doing unnecessary things, like scrolling endlessly through social media. I like what Marie says about turning pro, “How would you act if you were the best in the world at what you do? Not scroll through Facebook.” So true.

  157. I love me some Forleo today : )

    Gracias woman.

    I abhor – abhor when people tell me to ‘not work so hard’ (a friend just said this to me a few weeks ago – so this is fun timing. I finished my book 8 months ago so I should be sitting on my hands now watching the clouds pass by??)

    Would you prefer I sit around and complain about the travesties of the world – or actually use my precious life to make a difference??

    How about instead of trying to keep me playing small you ask me what do you think is holding you back from really sharing big?

    This Q&A Tuesday was perfection. Thank you fellow mover n shaker I really appreciated it so much.

    And thanks for all the work you do and to everyone else here who works hard for what they love and believe in. Lots of love everyone! xo

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Yes, yes — use your precious life to make a difference. Bam!

  158. Hey Marie,
    Glade to hear it’s going well.
    In high school, I went to my guidance counselor to ask if there were any tutors for french. She completely ignored what I asked and asked me if I “need” to take french… No one “needs” french, but I was most of the way done the courses I needed to get my bilingual certificate and it was something I’d been working on for years.
    I do sometimes run into the too-many-things-running-around-like-a-headless-chicken. I’m working on limiting how many things I take on at once so that I can put my best effort into the things that matter.

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Yes Ashley, when were hustling, it’s super important to prioritize and only say yes to things that are in line with what you want and what matters to you. We do have some MarieTVs on that, if you want any any links shared — just reach out to us at infoATmarieforleoDOTcom. 🙂

  159. Better to keep moving than to slow down or stop. I often accomplish more on a day that I am booked solid than I do on a day without appointment.

    The only voice you have to listen to is yours.

  160. Marie!! I feel like you have literally created this episode for me! I’ve been told to ‘Slow DOWN’ by SO many people, sometimes I feel like I have actually done it. Really, after a while I feel like I’ve got to ‘obey’….Don’t think so!!
    I’m naturally fast, I talk fast, think fast and do it fast, and maybe they just can’t keep up. And I’ve said this before, but THIS one is going on my all time Marie-favourites! Thanks so much for all you do! x

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Awesome, Fayann — so glad you love this one!

  161. Amy

    I am happy that your dad is doing well..e. I send you my light and blessings to your family…This is hitting close to home as I am very ambitious person…but due to my negative self-esteem…people see me as overwhelmed… Or have opinions on what I can do…

  162. For me, my pet peeve lines would be “When are you going to get a job?” or “Now it’s time to put that degree to use!” I HAVE a job and I have enough money in savings to take the risk for now. I’m 20, single, and living at home with a mom who’s fine with that; I’m not in danger of tanking. People talk about it as if I’m losing out on my life, but I know I would regret not taking THIS path.

    Probably the worst, though, was when a friend commented to me when we were at a Wendy’s about how they were hiring. I have nothing against Wendy’s, but that wouldn’t be my first job at this point; I have a degree and a buttload of experience.

    I believe that within a year I could be making $50 an hour in the entertainment industry, because I can communicate about writing and storytelling like nobody else and put that knowledge to use well. One film distribution company in California, about a year ago, saw my old blog and said they’d never seen anybody with my writing approach in their 10+ years and hundreds of films distributed; I was talking with the Chairman within a week.

    But I know I would regret going down those paths. I’ve thought about the greatest-case scenarios. And they’re not bad, they’re just not for me.

    I feel like people think that I woke up one morning and decided to try writing and entrepreneurship. I like to think I woke up over the course of a year and determined that I needed to change the world.

    That said, I do want to add: I need to become more vocal about my frustrations. I don’t think that people KNOW how much it drives me up the wall. I’ve gotten better about letting people know, but not everybody who I’ve felt triggered by probably realizes.

  163. Jeremy

    Best episode yet. Love your
    work. Take care.

  164. Jackline Makandi

    Hi Marie,
    Good to know your daddy is doing well. Glory to God!

    Very true Marie. Am a very ambitious lady and my sister has been discouraging me on my ambitions. Every time i have an idea i want to work with she has been telling me all the reasons why it cannot work, that I am so young and crap. But have been persistent all the time and kept on keeping on. And guess what? That very sister is now supporting me more than anyone else, and even going extra miles to connect me with the right people to support me in my ambition.
    DON’T LET ANYONE SLOW YOUR AMBITION!

  165. Sekina Titilayo Okonu

    hi Marie!
    Glad to hear your dad is recovering. As you help care for him; ensure you make every moment enjoyable as you can. ‘After every difficult situation comes relief’. I’ve been looking for d opportunity to tell you how inspiring you are& that I’m so glad I found you! Stumbled on your site sometime ago while searching for answers on whether its OK to be multi passionate. Having been in the labour market for a long time searching for ‘the dream job’; without compromising my personal values; I decided to start doing my own thing; that was how I discovered how multi passionate I am; &I happen to be quite good in ‘all these things’ too! Someone who was close to me was always telling me ‘you are here, you are there! But its something from within; I only feel fulfilled when I do all these things I have passion for; I can not abandon one for another; I would feel very empty if I do that; I hope some people here understand this feeling? & I don’t get overwhelmed by it all because I don’t have to touch every passion everyday; & I know its good to delegate when there is a need. It happens the same someone who used to tell me I’m everywhere; cunningly stole a business idea I always share with her ‘cos I didn’t have the fundings to execute the project. I’ve learnt my lessons. Try to check out their motive if they try to slow you down. Just let your passion drive you! I’m moving ahead& I hope all my dreams come through. Trying to ‘monetize’ my passions& also working on my blog; with doggedness & perseverance; God’s willing; I will get there. Thanks Marie! Lots of love to you from Africa!

  166. Dance the dance you dance! Not the dance they want you to dance!
    Stay true to yourself !
    That’s something i learnend over the past year, since i had a burnout last year and stil recovering from it. But it made me see who i truley am.
    Erika Defurne
    from Belgium

  167. LUKE

    If a car goes to fast and furious — what if it crashes? If a car goes to fast what if it crash?? Similarly if you keep going to fast, hopefully, you will live after the emotional crash…! And, I’m not a negative person… i actually FIGHT everyday to keep it real and be positive, but the reality is — WE ALL — live in a negative world and are influenced for good or bad, and you and i have to deal with it everyday… so yourself-righteous achievements can go suck an ego driven egg… Talk to me face to face and I’ll CRUSH YOU’RE PRETTY little PRIDE! Period. Because 2 Tim. 3:1-5 is coming towards this “system of things” and you are as self-satisfied as they come… but you already know that.

    You know it all, you glorious one… your ahead of the pack, now hurry up and delete this negative post, you overly greedy, self-righteous human-being, whose been criticized and hypnotized buy unseen demonic forces just like everyone ells…

    That’s why you prepare to live far away from reality…

    MONEY-Business and Social Statues is your GOD!

    You have zero power over what’s coming, as history will prove itself.

  168. Tammy

    Hi Marie, I just love you so much!! 🙂 your videos always give me the perspective I am needing and they are delivered in the right timing every single time.
    People drive me crazy because they tell me their opinion on what I ‘should’ be doing in my business – like I don’t have my own direction?
    Drives me NUTS! anyways, I am learning to block it (with your help) so thank you xox

  169. Hi Marie,

    Thanks for sharing this. It’s so true. Many people’s ambitions are being cut short by so called ‘loved ones’.

    I myself have been a victim of this, until I decided that I would no longer lower my ambitions to align with others estimation of themselves. I decided, that if I felt I could do it, no one could convince me that I couldn’t. I must confess that it’s a lot harder if these ‘advisors’ are people you really love.

    I’ve since authored 2 books on success for teenagers – Can Do, a collection of inspirational quotes for teens and young adults and Can Do Journal. I also run a blog and dedicated courses on the same topic, and I’m working on 2 new book releases this year.

    Please keep doing what you do. You are a great inspiration to me and several others.

    Lots of Love from London, UK

  170. Mary Lahti

    Marie,
    So so glad to hear your dad is on the mend!! Thanks for today’s topic. I love keeping busy and living in New York almost zaps you with the extra energy to want to do more. But your message took me personally in a different direction and I thank you. I am usually pretty good about knowing when my chaos is turning into a mess. But when I am too busy working towards my dream and goals, sometimes I’m trying to act like I am an octopus using all my limbs on different things rather than focusing on one or two things that will help me move more quickly towards what I want to do. I work during the day, plus want to develop my own business, plus want to keep acting so take on projects, plus want to keep up with my artwork, plus take webinars, read blogs to keep learning and contribute and deal with ‘life’ as well. Although I can usually manage it okay with little sleep, I’m not moving faster in the direction I want because I’m trying to do it all right now. And people rarely tell me to slow down unless I do look like I’m about to turn into the Tasmanian Devil. So thanks for that reminder for myself as well as not listening to people who try to turn down your dimmer switch. Have a great day and more healing vibes for your dad. SINGcerely, Mary

  171. By far my biggest naysayer pet peeve is, “You should be happy with your well-paid job at a nice corporation and benefits. What more do you want?”

    Well, I want to infuse my work with passion and live each day knowing I’m creating a legacy I’m proud of. No “velvet coffin” for me!

    • Mary Lahti

      Ah, that’s another one and then I feel slightly guilty for not accepting what I have. But nothing wrong with wanting to strive for more of what you can do for yourself and others as well. Clearly stated. Thanks for that. Mary

  172. My husband is always telling me to slow down. It drives me crazy! I have always been goal orientated and plan my journey and go for it… it my career, in decorating, in my small creative online business. I just say I will slow down when I die! I am very organized and dream out loud. He sees this as me being unsatisfied with my position in life…. not at all, I love my life! I just love the adventure of exploring for that little boost for myself and to share with others. I just don’t let those comments affect my dreams…. GO FOR IT!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Lori, I can totally feel your energy and hunger for adventure — it’s awesome. What you shared reminds me of an episode of MarieTV we did a while back on “Does Wanting More Mean You’re Ungrateful For What You Have?” The short answer — no! 🙂

  173. Zoe

    Great episode! I love the advice you give about who to accept advice from – if the person doesn’t have the life you want, why would you listen to the advice they have to give?

    The thing I hate to hear people say (to me, or about themselves) is “You’re so busy!” as it’s this badge of honour. No, I’m not “busy”, I’m working hard on my success and I fill my time with meaningful actions, thankyouverymuch!

    Another great episode, Marie! Kudos to you and your team 🙂

    z

  174. Jen

    Thank you for this!!

  175. nancy

    Great advice marie! people will always try to knock you down in some way…some do this to try and make themselves feel better and throw you off your game…be strong and forge on…you are an inspiration!

    Marie; all my best to you and your family and hope your dad has a speedy and full recovery….eveytime you see your dad give him and ol’ kiss and hug and do it lots!! Dads are the best. N.

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much, Nancy. xo

  176. Hey Marie!!!!Thank you so much for all your inspiration!!! You’re’ what got me leave my regular job three years ago, move to Bali and become a yoga teacher. Now i’ve moved back to my home country and find it hard to adapt and live life in a new way coping with people who don’t seem to get how i don’t’ have an 8-5 job…and keeps telling me i should get a job on the side and that it won’t be enough doing what I do. I know it’s possible and really want to keep aiming for a life in freedom and joy.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I’m so glad Marie inspired you to follow your dreams, Lisa! I hope you had a beautiful time in Bali. There will always be people who don’t understand your passion because they weren’t given your vision, but there will also always be people who completely understand and support you on your journey. Your heart knows the way. 🙂

  177. I find that those who are afraid of failing or success make negative comments more than likely out of frustration of being stuck. Sometimes they mean well but in other cases, are secretly very envious of the ambitious person and want the them to stop or better yet, fail so that they feel less of a failure themselves.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I couldn’t agree more, Diana. I think your insight here is spot on.

  178. Marie, it is a very sage point to reject any advice that doesn’t sit well within your heart. People mean well, but so much generic advice is actually harmful. It is so important to consider the source of the advice and whether they have any pertinent experience or if they are just repeating something they heard someone else say.

  179. I couldn’t agree more. This is the decade for creatives to seize power from the corporates, and make that shit happen. No more excuses, that no one notices your art. Connection has never been easier. You no longer need permission, to do the things you love.

    The only thing in your way is… you!

    Go create something!

    PS: Happy to hear your to Pop is doing fine. 😉 It must be all those karma reserves you’ve amassed. Keep Living!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Yes, yes, YES! I love what you shared here, especially, “You no longer need permission to do the things you love.” You’re so right–the gatekeepers are falling by the wayside. If you want to publish a book, you don’t have to have a publishing house’s approval. If you want to make films, you don’t need Hollywood’s approval. It’s a wonderful thing.

      • Now, how do we get the message out to the masses? The people I talk to still believe everything they watch on TV.

        BTW: Team Forleo is doing a great job to spread this message.

        • Caroline - Team Forleo

          Aww, thank you so much Hammo! In terms of getting your message out, there are so many ways to do that — the beauty of the internet means that it’s never been so easy or inexpensive to get your message out on a wider platform.

          There’s so much nuance to marketing of course, but I thought I’d share this great episode of MarieTV with guest, Jonah Berger about contagious (viral) marketing. It’s a great one, and you can use his tips on any platform to help give your marketing a boost and get your message out into the world:

          http://www.marieforleo.com/2013/07/viral-marketing/

  180. I was diagnosed with a rare disease a few years ago and the first advice I heard from those who never really understood me in the first place was “Slow down.” I didn’t get sick because I passionately pursue my dreams; I got sick because my body betrayed me and is destroying itself. My husband wants me to keep doing what I love to do as long as I am able. Do you know who never once told me to slow down? My doctors. They see that a full and happy life is keeping me healthier longer and told me to keep it up as long as I also pay attention to my health needs. Many people live long lives; I won’t. I will, however, really live while I’m alive! How many people can say that?

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      You’re so right. Living the life you want adds so much to your happiness that no one should feel compelled to slow down, especially when it will negatively affect them. We’re cheering you on and are proud of you for following your heart. <3

  181. Eva Christina

    Thank YOU 🙂 🙂 🙂 To often, I get. Isn’t it better to do as usual? Why do you wan’t to do that? Be careful!
    I’m on the way and learning. And working on finding THE Peergroup where I find support.

  182. C

    Great episode!

    This isn’t something people say, so much as something they imply through questions.

    Since getting engaged, several people have said, ‘So are you quitting your job now?’ and ‘So are you going to stay home when you have kids?’

    Just want to double-check, the year IS 2015, right??

  183. Thanks Marie, I can relate to this!
    Something similar people can say to me to drive me banana’s is:
    ’Well you can’t do everything.’ And in most cases it’s another way of saying: slow down!

    True, sometimes you just can’t be at two places at the same time, that I have to agree with. Yet sometimes you want to combine multiple things in life and really have to jungle to manage the schedule to make it possible and that gives me a kick, where others might just get anxious thinking about it.

  184. I stepped out on faith and quit my “secure” job to build my business and my brand as a writer, life coach, fitness expert, and empowerment speaker. It’s been a struggle for the past few months financially. Sometimes I’ve doubted my decision, but I know I have the ability to make this work. My best friend promised she will be in my corner as I pursue this goal and she has been, even investing in my company, and in me. Other people have not been so supportive. I dropped those folks quick. I don’t have time for people who can’t envision my dream, passion, and greatness.

  185. Reeta

    I really enjoy MarieTV and all the wonderful advice for everyone…and such quality advice is free!!! Happy days!….Mmm one thing I hope you can clarify? What is meant by a ‘crappy life’? People could look at me and say crappy life as I’m not working and haven’t done so for some time yet I give my friend advice who’s an ambitious doctor to slow down mind chatter in the way of meditation and me time. I’m working through limiting beliefs to land a job whilst studying for a career change. I wonder after watching this…who am I to tell a friend to slow down?

  186. Dina

    Thank you for this episode.
    You really made me think about what’s going on in my life.

  187. Hi Marie!
    When I was just finishing my Dave Tour I was getting odd jobs to begin building for the future. I also had a full time job that was low pay. With very little expertise or knowledge I decided that I liked landscaping and would start a landscaping business. Everyone I knew had a lot of reasons that they thought I shouldn’t do it; that it would fail, that I wouldn’t get good paying customers, or that they thought it was unethical as I did not go to college for it, and lastly I had no money, credit, equipment, or a car. Long story short I sold my business after amassing enough money to buy a farm in Boulder county, Colorado where I am married and raising my son. Listening to naysayers would have left me stuck in my hometown, working for low pay, which would clearly have sucked. How ethical would that be? Not very, if you ask me, as their yards would still be ugly, and I would not have a wife or son. Sidenote, a good friend did the same as me with carpentry, and also now has a successful business, and family.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I’m so glad you followed your heart and did what’s best for you and your family. Your heart never leads you astray!

  188. Demiera

    “Ambition, like most strong forces, is an excellent servant but a bad master.”

  189. Jeannie

    Spot on Marie. I would like to add that adding balance is probably a good idea though. I learned that at a young age as I watched my father who was a very successful doctor/surgeon who loved what he did and worked most of the time. He did not balance it out with self-care and died of a massive heart attack at age 56.

    Love this life.
    Peace,
    J

  190. This is so true! I get this advice often because I am absolutely
    passionate about building a podcast and coaching my clients on productivity
    and when you coach productivity you also DO productivity.

    I like the thought of evaluating: WHO is this person that gives me that advice?

    Also when handling clients it looks this way
    1. They describe how everything is a mess, and nothing is working and they feel overwhelmed
    2. I give them concrete steps how we can handle this and make their life effective and more efficient
    3. Given the fact that they need to break some habits and create new ones aka get out of their comfort zone they day
    “Oh no I don’t need that, the 2 hours TV at night help me recharge and center”

    Here is the best thing to ask when people
    a) give you crappy advice
    b) Deny that what they are doing drives them into a hole of overwhelm, stress and healthissues


    How is that working out for you?
    It is that easy
    Oh I should stop doing more than I am payed for because the lazy people will win-
    I am very fulfilled with the service I am delivering, how is that working out for you?
    And then you might find out that they work in a low paying job in a company nobody knows

    “I don’t want to stop drinking 1-2 a week, it is fun and I get over it”
    How is that working out for you?
    Then comes the realization that the whole next day is completely messed up and they never get to do anything they love because they overdo the drinking part in the evening.

    So that works in both directions when it comes to advice.
    Sometimes when people argue it is a lot of hot air.
    That question helps me cut through it and get the tomatoes off of my eyes and the eyes of my clients.
    But it is also important to be respectful when asking that question.

  191. Sound advice, Marie. Agreed. I usually hear to pick up the pace, not to slow down. Either way, I believe its best to work at your own speed. If you don’t have a problem with it, others really shouldn’t.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Great advice, Roxann. It’s always so important to trust our inner wisdom and follow the pace that is best for us personally. Sometimes that means speedy, and for others, slow and steady wins the race 🙂

  192. Sarah Dupuy

    This one is right up there with ‘have a plan B’ in case your ‘unrealistic’ ie. ambitious dream doesn’t work out. Total dream killer in my opinion. What say you Marie?

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Oh yeah, I so hear you, Sarah! Having a “plan B” isn’t necessarily a bad thing in every case of course (sometimes it’s super smart), but I think so many people say that to ambitious dreamers as a “kinder” way to say they don’t believe the dream is realistic.

      I like to come up with my own sweet and sassy responses to stuff like that. Like “Oh my plan A is to succeed wildly … my plan B is to succeed wildly at something awesome I haven’t even imagined yet, but thanks for asking!” 😉

  193. Maria Sieben

    Just quietly, that was awesome.

  194. Natalia

    I agree with Marie about sometimes we lose ourselves in overwhelm and maybe is not about slowing down, but about watching how we transmitte our drive to others. If we are truly happy and connected with our purpose, there is no need to slow down

  195. We live for our own life so we have responsibility for what we want and meant what worth to live with. The one important question we should ask ourselves only is dose this work will make we really happy. While we are pursuing something and challenging our ability, no one else and nothing allow stop our forwarding.

  196. Marie-
    I am an avid consumer of your content but rarely take the time to respond. But today this one hits home because I am one of those people who truly loves to be super busy and involved. I love working, building, and mentoring young entrepreneurs. But here is the one I hear ALL the time. And I wonder if this is normal.. People always ask me, how do you have time? How do you get all this done? Or, you are so busy – do you ever sleep?
    But the reality is that I feel like I do have a balanced life. I spend time with my family, my girls dinner club, and my boyfriend. But I do indeed love to work. I am majority owner in two small business; I write a blog; I referee Division I women’s basketball, and I work for an awesome company in digital advertising for “day job”.
    So my question – do you ever get these questions? How do you answer them? Should I feel “guilty” when people ask me these questions, and I totally feel their judgment?

    As always — love your feedback, passion and drive.

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Rachael, you should not feel guilty AT ALL! You are rocking it and taking good care of yourself, so you’re able to get a ton done and still be present. That’s worth celebrating and something you should feel incredibly proud of.

      I’d say if people ask how you get so much done that maybe you just need to have simple reply that you can always say, like — “Because I love it all so much” or “Because I’m hustling and I stay on my game.”

      Regardless, you should feel super proud and own your passion, hard work, discipline, and outcomes. 🙂

  197. Joanne Larkins

    Thank you, Marie, as always, it iwas a meaningful show, and it was valuable advice to not listen, to those, who are not there for me. Love it.
    So, how are you doing with that button, to scroll your list of many, many guests? Also, along the same line, I wonder if it would be possible for you, to include a bibliograghy list, of the books, you have recommended, on your shows??? Thank you.
    See ya : )

  198. Sam

    This was just perfect, the thing that makes me go bananas is when everyone says policies are hard to change, and there is a system in which we live in that is difficult to get into or even change or attempt to change. Its horrible, it might be working for some, but what about 95% who is doesn’t work for.

    I want to get into that system, and change it from within, but I am small, inexperienced, and have no mentor to be able to get there. On top of all that, I think my mind is a my major contribution to my own self created unconscious stop for my ambition. In some way, I feel like its all happening inside me, and it was wonderful to see your response to the Q. Love it, gives me more drive and motivation to recognise this within me and around me. Really really appreciate it and I am glad to hear your dad is doing well.

    Love

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Hi Sam, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. We’re so thrilled to hear that this episode inspired you to feel more drive and motivation!

      While I was reading your comment, this other MarieTV episode poppe to mind about getting started with any big idea, and I thought I might share it since you mentioned feeling inexperienced and not having a mentor:

      http://marieforleo.com/2011/05/start-turning-big-idea-reality/

      Thanks again for tuning in, and I hope you’re having an awesome day!

  199. Denise

    Marie, your show makes me feel powerful and timeless. Your show is so modern in topic but still has this comforting, old world feel to it. You’re the best!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Aww, so sweet, Denise — thank you! We’re so honored to have you tuning in xoxo!

  200. Djuro

    Opinions especially those who do not have their personal result should not even be considered.
    I think we should listen to your intuition, heart, energy, knowledge, experience and cognition.
    Sometimes we need to think and listen to the advice of those personalities who are well-intentioned, with even more personal knowledge, success, experience and
    cognition.

  201. Marie,
    You are a G*E*M!!!!!! Thank you for your fun, your wisdom, your heart!!!!

  202. Ciao Marie,

    In the slow slow world of small town Southern Italy everything is PIANO, PIANO! (Or ‘cian ‘ciano in dialect–yep, dialect, those languages all of themselves, every village has one.)

    An American woman can quickly feel like a tomato-out-of-the-pasta-pot in their tightly controlled ‘slow down’ environment. And they mean it! They’ve been doing it that way for centuries. Something must be right. Right?

    Ya just gotta go with the flow; smile a lot, give good ‘buongiornos’ and keep going. Garners street cred. Or should I say ‘via’ or ‘vicolo’ cred.

    Fatta bene cara!

  203. Is your dad ok/stable now? Sending good vibes!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much for the good vibes, Milda! Marie’s dad is doing a lot better, and we’re all immensely grateful. 🙂

  204. Is it weird to say that the thing that bothers me most is for people to tell me that I’m super successful? Hear me out… Because I’m not successful by any of the standards I would use, and I’m constantly feeling like I have failed on something else. But people see that I work in a lot of different fields, that I work for myself, and that I’m not super poor (by a very narrow margin), and suddenly they treat me like I’ve “made it.” However, I know all of the places where I screwed up that week, and it’s frustrating for people to act like I have it all together when I KNOW I’m a mess.

    Does that even make sense?? I am not stuck up and I certainly don’t have it together. I hope it doesn’t sound that way.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      I absolutely hear you Rebekah, and it totally makes sense. No one ever really sees the full picture of someone else’s experience, and it can be really frustrating to feel like we haven’t “made it” yet, and have everyone telling you that you’re successful. I’ve been there myself, so I know exactly where you’re coming from.

      The most important part is to know what success means for YOU, and continually pursue that yourself — regardless of whether that measure of success matches others or not.

      Though I do want to give you a big high five for all the work that you have been doing. It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves when we haven’t really “made it” to our goals yet, but the fact that you’re doing the work means that you’re on your way.

      I thought I might pass along this other MarieTV episode that has helped me a lot in terms of re-framing those negative thoughts that crop up telling you that you’re a mess or that you haven’t made it yet: http://www.marieforleo.com/2012/10/stop-self-sabotage/

      Sending lots of Team Forleo love and we’re cheering you on!

  205. As an ambitious eager-to-make-a-difference kind of person myself, I have also scoffed at being told to slow down. However, as an Alexander Technique teacher, I do think slowing down is necessary in order to accurately observe, assess, and potentially change your own process and direction.

    If you are moving quickly and getting all of the results you want, then by all means, keep going at whatever pace you like. When I’m aiming for change, though, I find it most helpful to pause first, and then redirect my efforts. That way I have time to cut loose the habits that no longer serve me in my pursuits, and move forward with more freedom and ease!

    In an embodied way, as long as I am well grounded, and am not getting ahead of myself, literally my head is more well balanced on my spine, and this seems to translate to feeling like I’m more “on top” of and “with” myself. When I move from here find I can go as slow or quick as I like while still maintaining balance and composure.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      This is really good advice, Ariel, and I totally agree. It’s important to go at the speed that allows you to maintain balance and composure, which can vary according to person or the task ahead. Others may not understand the speed, but it’s not theirs to understand.

  206. reeta

    Hi….In principle I agree that you can’t tell an ambitious person to slow down. The part I’m not so sure about is assessing who the advise comes from, someone we admire with this amazing life vs someone we don’t with a crappy life. I’ve received golden wisdom from both types of people. I’m sure the days Eckhart Tolle was sleeping on park benches might have been judged as a crappy life though he had great wisdom. Perhaps I’m getting this all out of context so would appreciate clarification on what’s meant by a crappy life? …thanks 🙂

    Read more: http://www.marieforleo.com/2015/06/too-ambitious/#ixzz3dtAns26S

  207. The one that drives me crazy is “it’s hard work” or “a tough road”, running or starting your own business or trying to be a professional artist. I think they say it to try and relate but it also feels like they’re trying to discourage me from trying. It’s certainly not useful. Other than to drive me to want to succeed and show them how gracefully it can be done.

    Now that I am starting to kill it, looking back, it wasn’t that hard. I mean it’s hard work, but it’s not like pulling teeth when you have passion and the right tools. And the guidance I got from b-school gave me so many tools and great direction. Every time I feel self doubt now like “what if I run out of clients”, I just say f that and keep pushing forward in the positive mode I have been. I know I’m a powerful creator. We all are. We create our own realities.

  208. Thanks Marie!
    I think you’re right, it’s really important to recognise the difference between people who are saying slow down because you’re ‘being that crazy person’ burning yourself out and the ones that are just trying to pull you down. I think we all know deep down when we’re going the wrong way. ☺

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Exactly, Lisa — that’s huge.

  209. Elise

    Hi Marie,

    I am actually slowing down – or supposed to – in a cottage in Southampton overlooking the bay. Now I have time to clean out 3000 emails on standby – like yours truly. Time to enjoy the pleasant stuf …
    Still I am running a builing site form a distance – building a photo website – a design website and more designing. Why? Because I just love it.
    I set my priority this next month to take stock of my health condition and seeing friends first, but will not stop persuing my passions.
    So yes, slow down in one way – or rather keep going and changing priorities …

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Right on, Elise! Enjoy the cottage and bay views and projects. 🙂

  210. I love this video! My husband is the one who tells me to slow down all of the time! I am so inspired and driven in what I want to do and find myself to be so creative in a world of ideas and vision which to him looks like total chaos. He is always there, telling me to write a plan, create spreadsheets, consolidate statistics etc which I know I need to do but I’m too busy creating, visualizing and connecting with people that I find it hard to slow down and do that ‘other’ stuff i need to do. Whilst I hate hearing ‘slow down’ sometimes it is necessary to get my head out of the BIG PICTURE and do the ‘boring stuff’ that needs to be done TODAY to make it a reality… Unfortunately this is something I need to work on…. Thinking a business coach is what I need.

  211. I’ve always gone too fast, too intense, too soon and I’ve done so much and there’s still so much to do! Wouldn’t have it nay other way. So I never listen to anyone who tells me to slow down, only when it is my body who is doing the talking 😉

  212. OMG this totally resonated with me! I HATE when people tell me to slow down. I agree with you Marie that “slow down” tends to be code for “stop being ambitious, you’re making me feel bad about myself.” I also think it’s important to distinguish between “slow down” and “be grateful for what you already have/celebrate your success.” The other edge of the double edge sword to ambition is never being satisfied and always wanting more. Let’s raise a glass to ambition AND gratitude which can go hand-in-hand! Yum.

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Yes! Amen to that. Ambition and gratitude are not mutually exclusive!

  213. As always, this was super helpful… But I have to comment on the toe stubbing bit… I’m still cracking up right now. you’ve been added to my special goto folder of things that crack me up!! 😀

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much, Sunhae! I love the idea of having a “crack me up” folder – so fun 🙂

  214. Cynthia

    Hi Marie,
    One of my friends wanted to go to school for acting and I remember she was truly passionate and willing to put in the hard work. She was so happy that she said it felt like her life just started. Unfortunately her parents told her to forget about it and go to school for something else. Now she is stuck with no drive but she knows she cant let her parents dictate her life. How does she get her life back?

  215. Such an important topic…I once joined a company and worked for a manager who asked me what my aspirations were for myself at the company. I was in middle management at the time and told her I wanted to make it to the C-suite. She told me I was too ambitious. (I later figured out that she aspired to the same role.)

    As a result, whenever anyone asked me what my personal goals were at the firm, I kept them to myself. That made it difficult for people to help my achieve my “secret” goals.

    I wish I had not let 1 manager’s reaction shape my “secret goal” strategy for my 8 years with the company. In my last year, I finally told someone in the C-suite that I wanted an international assignment. 3 months later I was transferred to Hong Kong.

    We can speak our goals into truth, and if someone doesn’t want to hear it and/or support us, then sometimes it’s best for all concerned to “promote” them to “long lost friend/acquaintance/co-worker.”

    Tks for another great episode!

  216. oliver rojas

    Yes I do consider myself an overly ambitious person and I do get a few acquaintences and a mother that tell me to slow down. It’s very painful to hear it although I have learned to ignore it because those people don’t have my best interests in mind.
    If you care about someone help them succeed and reach their dreams. If you know they might fail, help them fall and get back up once they have fallen. If you know they are on a path of desctruction alert them to the fact and if they still want to oblige, allow them to fufill their manifest destiny.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      You’re so right, Oliver! I’m so glad you’re listening to your heart and not slowing down when you don’t feel ready to do so.

  217. Thanks, Marie. I totally agree! I have had accountability partners that were wonderful, but didn’t have the same level of drive, ambition and who weren’t jazzed to being doing so much. They would tell me that I shouldn’t create so many goals or do so many different things. That just didn’t work for me. Now, I acknowledge the differences and let myself stay on my own track.

  218. Meenakshi

    Marie! The blog’s just wonderful ! I was just searching on the internet about any such blogs and it just came infront of me! I am too happy to have read your blog before it gets too old!

  219. I don’t think I AM an ambitious person…I mean, I wish I had that hot drive that feels glossy and controlled like a sweet sports car.

    But I am more like a really cute VW Bug. I get there. I do. I won’t give up or quit on you (or myself). But there maybe some stops along the way, some repairs. Some “don’t feel like driving today.”

    It can be hard to remember all that I’ve done this way. But when I zoom out, and look at the last year – I’ve done a LOT. A web developer recently told me my site was “pretty darn good!” when I needed a some help to tweak some things. And I did that all myself.

    I dunno. Maybe I need to rethink it. Maybe I DO have ambition. It’s just slow and steady rather than sporty and sleek…?

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much for your note, Dylan. That’s an awesome way to look at it — especially because I’m a big VW Bug fan myself 😉

      It sounds like you really have accomplished so much, so I have no doubt that you have loads of ambition! Not everyone has to (or wants to!) go 100 miles an hour, so it’s a great thing to honor your own pace.

  220. Hi Maria,
    Great video. You are the best. thank you!!
    My buddy says be Ambitious- not AmBitches. Lol
    So. My Bf say to me — Stephen you sound so unstable right now.. especially when I have so many creative ideas that are rolling through my brain and I want to bring into the world. Can they all happen at once (Upchuck)? I am looking to make it all happen.

    So what if stability is a great thing to have when going for my – your goals. Thoughts please.
    Thanks for the love,
    Love
    Stephen

  221. Amazing! Don’t take advice from people with a creepy life!

Let us know what you have to say:

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *