Marie Forleo introduction


I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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Over the years I’ve gone from being a one-woman shop to now leading a virtual and growing team of star players.

We’re all sprinkled across time zones and spend at least 80% of our time working independently.

Every day I take time to appreciate the beautiful souls I get to work with and I’m constantly looking for ways to improve our company’s culture. Why?

The greatest need of a human being is to be understood, validated and appreciated. - Stephen Covey Click To Tweet

Because no matter what you do for a living, being a part of a healthy, high-functioning team is vital if you want to feel fulfilled at work.

Now your team may be your family. Or fellow writers, designers, agents, managers, assistants or programmers.

Or even fellow employees if you’re working within a company.

As technology continues to erase the confines of the traditional 9-5 work environment, it’s vital that we all learn ways to become better, more caring leaders.

In this week’s MarieTV, I’m taking you behind the scenes in my company to share a simple practice that’ll help keep your team committed, productive and happy.

I’ve shared this practice with many of my close business friends and they immediately put it into play in their companies.

As promised, here’s a link to the original book The Five Love Languages, and The Five Languages of Appreciation, and here’s where you can take the Love Languages test for free.

Now I’d love to hear from you. In the comments below, tell me….

What’s your love or appreciation language? Go take the free test, or let us know how you best feel loved and appreciated.

There’s power in recognizing this for for yourself, so jump on in and leave as much detail as you can.

Tens of thousands of creators come here each week for insight and inspiration. Your share may be exactly what someone else needs to have a huge breakthrough.

Important: please share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. may be deleted as they can come across as spammy.

As always, thank you so much in advance for reading, watching and sharing your genius. You make my world.

With so much love,


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  1. This book is one of my favorites. I’ve used it with every important relationships in my life – including my kids. My primary language is gifts/acts of service. Don’t tell me, show me. 🙂

    • Lisa, have you read the Children’s version of this book? It’s sooo good!

      • Vicky, can you give me info on the children’s book? I’d love to read it to my kids

      • OH MY GOSH! This is the bomb who knew!!! I need to find out my love language!

    • Mine are Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Quality Time!
      Yup, three!! All of them got the same score.
      It reminds me once my bf was unhappy and he put his personal emotion between us, and so he didn’t help me ask her mom something. (we were in Germany, and my German wasn’t good enough that time) I felt so upset, and sad, so I went out ALONE (that was my first month in Germany). That feeling was so awful.

  2. “If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

    • LOVE this quote! I’ve never heard it before!

    • michele

      What a great quote to inspire great team building

    • I also must share, I LOVE this quote! Thank you for sharing it (I’d never heard it before either).

    • Jean

      WOW, Chas. That’s deep. I will remember this one. Thank you for sharing it.

    • @Chas. When people mean something as we mean, they will support and enjoy to make it like us. When we focus on win together, it always win.

  3. While I am outsourcing a lot more I don’t have a permanent team yet but I do know that keeping them happy and treating them like family is definitely huge! Can’t wait to start implementing some of these tips when I start hiring this summer. I couldn’t agree more about taking the time out and making this a priority.

    Everybody wants and needs “a little love and appreciation”


  4. Great video and tips, Marie! I’m starting to grow my own team and I really love the idea of using the love languages as a guide to making sure those who work so hard for me feel appreciated. So much more fun and relatable than some of those more stuffy business books!

  5. I first heard about this book on Oprah. After reading the book, it makes total sense. People express love in different ways, but how it is felt is what matters. Some people don’t recognize that expression if it isn’t in line with their love language.

    I have a friend whose husband buys her gifts. He likes to get her shoes. She complains all the time that he doesn’t spend time with her. One of her biggest complaints comes around the holidays, because he usually has to work. She gets incensed when he doesn’t ask for time off. His love language is gifts and hers is quality time. They butt heads about this all the time. Of course, I recommend the book to her. I don’t think she read it though. *kanye shrug*

    I had a tie. Mine is quality time and physical touch. That would explain why I melt for a good hug. 😉 Have a great day everyone!

  6. Lorri

    Yes I just watched your tuesday Q&A thought is touched on a lot of ways other them money to show your team how you feel about them and knowing how they want you to show them they are worth a lot to you. Thank you for the tips.


  7. Hi Marie!

    Thanks for this video! I don’t have my team (just yet) but this advice has helped a lot. I just did a test and learned some interesting facts. I’m making my fiancé do it when he gets back home so we can improve our relationship!
    I wish my ex boss would have known about this test or cared that much… I’m just so excited I live in times when hard work and focus on money is no longer enough. Cheers to the future of mindful and thoughtful business model! And cheers to all of you guys at Marie TV!
    Best wishes,
    Vita xxx

    • Awesome Vita – let us know how it goes with your partner. Really great conversations (and deeper connection) often follow.

  8. Hi Marie and everyone!

    I read the Love Languages book a while ago and I’m a “words of appreciation” person. Send me a good letter and I’m over the moon. Hubs is an “action taker” kind of person so he loves when I do what I say I’m going to.

    Learning how to work with that in a business setting is really fun and interesting. I have to remember that what I need isn’t always what someone else does and I find joy in trying to figure out what that is for someone and then giving it with love.

    I think it says a lot about respecting the other person when you step outside your own space and look to see what they need and HOW they want that.

    Have a great week, everyone!

  9. Hi Marie,

    Great episode as usual! I’ve found that beyond just showing appreciation with words, creating specific financial incentives are important (Even for contractors). Every contractor I work with receives the following if he/she does a good job:

    1. A financial bonus
    2. A video testimonial
    3. An email outlining what I appreciated about their work.

    This brings them coming back over and over again!


  10. That Don Draper snippet… awesome. I’m still lolling. Thanks Marie… you magical beacon of light and inspo! Big love xx

  11. Hi Marie,

    I think this is one of my favorite episodes so far!

    It really is the simple things is life that really make a big difference in the end. I will definitely recommend this to EVERY SINGLE one of my clients as they will totally benefit from this.

    Thanks for a fantastic episode Marie.

    Have the best week ever. Xx

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Yes! That is awesome, Leanne. It really does make a huge difference, and I hope this is super helpful to your clients as well.

  12. Came across 5 languages of love about 6 months ago and loved it! Never thought about applying it to my team – genius Marie! Am off to do it now!!! 🙂

  13. I’ve heard of this idea before, but never knew there was a test! Got to make my man do it, ’cause I can’t quite crack this one 😉


  14. Marcela


    It sound very logical NOW. I`ll apply it right now!…. Thank you so much for your job that improves us all who follow you! Bllessings Marie!!

  15. Hi Marie and everyone!

    Loved the Don Draper example btw :).

    I would say I’m a “words of appreciation” kinda gal. I don’t have a team right now because it’s just me (yeah, I have to appreciate myself for the time being, I guess!!) but gonna keep this video and the book in mind for the future. Thanks!


  16. Hi Marie and awesome ladies!

    I love the 5 Languages of Love book and use it all the time! I even make every guy I am dating take the free quiz! 🙂 My love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service. I never thought about making my small team take it, what a splendid idea!!

    Have an awesome day!

  17. I love this! And I’m seriously glad you were in my in box this MORNING!

    10 Words of Affirmation
    7 Physical Touch
    7 Quality Time
    6 Acts of Service
    0 Receiving Gifts

    On the gifts thing– I am kind of awkward about gifts because at 33 people my age still have boat loads of debt and the whole “no more than $50 office gift”…. seriously $50 could pay the water bill. The last birthday party I had was my 30th birthday and my mother wanted to have it at a swanky seafood restaurant and when I asked her if she was paying for everyone– she said no… so we went with a “no gifts other than bringing yourself” invitation and had the party at an old hamburger and hot dog joint… fully covered by the MOM.

    But is the traditional financial gift theory completely dated or do I need to learn how to accept gifts?

    • I’m not sure of your exact question Jean-Marie, but a gift does not need to be expensive, or even cost money. It could be a single flower from your garden, a ripe piece of fruit, or a handmade (and handwritten) card.

  18. Hi Marie,
    Thanks for this video! Just today I also read about the five love languages on another blogpost, so I think the universe is trying to tell me something ;).

    Just one question about it: do you actually let your team-members fill in the questionnaire? And ask for the outcome? Or do you just observe them and then know what their language is?


    • Hi Lieke! I feel the same way! I just started re-listening this book on my run this morning! Talk about universe is saying something! lol

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Lieke, we each take the test individually online and then share our results with the rest of team.

      And I have to say it’s really incredible — once you know the primary way someone likes to receive love, you REALLY start to notice in your interactions with them. It’s a beautiful way to enrich relationships, both professional and personal.

  19. Great video as always Marie. For me it’s definitely words of affirmation. Tell me, tell me, tell me! 😉

  20. What wonderful timing! I was just thinking about this on my usual office-elevator ride this morning. As I’m developing my own company of which I will be CEO, the discussion on leadership styles stays at the forefront of my mind these days. What a brilliant application of the love languages. Thanks, Marie!

  21. Marie,

    I just want you to know that your uniqueness, your uplifting insights, and the positive difference you instil in the lives of people all over the world… is greatly appreciated.

    Thank you,

  22. I am totally a Words of Affirmation gal 😉

    I had never thought of using that in business, but it makes total sense. I love it. I don’t have a team yet, but when I get one I will remember this episode.

  23. Keith

    Oh good, more techniques to manipulate employees.
    BTW Don Draped too honest?

    • I’m sorry you’re so cynical Keith. What you view as manipulation, millions of us see as a way to improve our communication skills and effectively express genuine care for other human beings we spend a lot of time with.

    • Jean

      Keith, do you honestly feel manipulated when someone shows you their love and appreciation? If you do, that is very sad.

  24. Great video as always :)! Physical touch is my number 1 so give me a big squeeze and I’ll do whatever you want :). Ok not really but kinda…

  25. Jhanna

    I love these books. I’ve used the tests for my partner, children (supremely helpful to recognize who they are!), and now I’ll be using it for my new team.

    By taking the time to use this information, it gives honor to the ones who matter most in my life.

  26. kirk

    All of the Human Resources people across the nation cringed every time you said “love” and “physical touch” in the same sentence.

  27. Lysa P

    Hi Marie. What advice do you have for someone who works in a corporate environment and can’t choose their colleagues? Each of them are so closed minded and difficult to work with and after two years, I just don’t want to work with them anymore. I’m starting to dream of a career where I can choose who I spend my days working with but just don’t know where to start.

    A woman who turned into a robot and works with un-trainable monkeys.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Lysa, that’s a good question as so many of us at one time or another have to work with people we wouldn’t necessarily choose to (I know I have in the past!)

      One thing you might consider is taking a more subtle approach – learning what your own love language is, and possibly even seeing if there are ways you can share tiny bits of support with your co-workers to see what resonates with them.

      Sometimes the situation just isn’t conducive to this kind of work though, and I thought I might share one of our terrific recent episodes about staying motivated yourself when people around you are bringing you down:

      I hope that provides you with a few great tips, and we’re sending our best!

  28. Grace

    This book has been a guiding light for me for years! My mum have it to me after a bad break up and it made me realise we where never going to communicate the way we both needed. So I have recommend this tirelessly to many friends, some have broken up purposefully knowing that the love languages would never adapt, some have gotten married totally assured they can communicate & some regret not having the information whilst in previous relationships as it would have saved them.
    Share this – in all aspects of your life. It’s transformative !
    Now to get my other half to understand words of affirmation!

  29. Loved the episode. I have been using that book for years, but just this weekend, I got a boost of how good it feels. One of my primary love languages is acts of service. When someone does for me the thing I do not want to do, I feel fantastic. I have a new assistant, Bonnie, and her love language is words of appreciation. Over the weekend, we led a yoga/JounreyDance retreat. This was my 17th retreat, but the first time she had been assisting. My husband Ben has been my main assistant for years, and he was there as well. Ben and I have always set up everything ourselves. This time, Bonnie and Ben took over the job of preparing the space for every activity. I was able to take time by myself to prepare for each teaching session. When I arrived, the space was set up, and I could concentrate on teaching. It was an amazing experience for me! I felt so supported and loved. Since Bonnie loves words of appreciation, I made a special thank you in front of everyone and let her know how much I appreciated her amazing support. Ben feels loved from touch and words so I made sure to hug him and hold his hand a lot while speaking my appreciation. We all left feeling so supported and loved!!!

    • Love your story and how you put it in practice 🙂

      • Thanks Amelie. The other big learning leap for me was, as much and I love having things done for me, I have a really hard time asking for it. So this weekend, I had a big break-through moment. We were all having dinner and the yoga deck needed to be set up for the Restorative Yoga Practice. I was just asking them to “help me” set up when I caught myself and asked if they would set it up FOR me. This was HUGE for me. They said, “of course!” They ran off and did a better job than I would have done! It was such a huge awakening for me. The next morning, the same thing happened. They set up the dance space better than I would have and I coukd prepare to teach from a space of fullness. Amazing!!

  30. Always something fresh and new in your videos. Rather astounding, this particular one. I have been studying and writing about this subject for 30 years and thought I knew everything. Not so. Thank you.

    Larry Mullins

  31. There’s also “Money Languages” that are great – especially in couple relationships – that are really worth knowing.

    • Where can we find info on these? I think this would be greatly helpful. Thanks!

      • Hi Joanna

        Here’s a brief overview by well known Christian marriage speaker Jimmy Evans – This is where I first heard of it, and it gives a brief, but pretty good, thumbnail of each.

        As I said, it’s great for figuring out why your spouse/partner is reacting the way they do with money and how to work with them.

  32. I read this book about a year ago with my fella and what a difference it makes when you know someone’s love language! Mine is acts of service & his is words of affirmation.
    Since then I have tried to find out my close friends love language as well. I will for sure keep this in mind when I build a team.

    • Hey Nyk, I’ve actually asked my friends to take the test when they were at my house. They were all happy to 🙂

  33. Violet

    Love your ideas and sense of humour. Hopefully one day you could make a video about haircare as well. I’m so jealous. How can you have such beautiful, gorgeous hair? I really want to know,

    • Hi Violet! It’s honestly my genetics. I’m Italian. My grandmother had incredibly thick hair, so I have her to thank for it. 🙂

      • Kat

        C’mon Marie! Be honest with that poor woman. I’ve seen you with normal (great) hair…I also know extensions when I see them. Tell her the truth.

        • Kristin - Team Forleo

          Kat – like Marie said, it’s REALLY all hers! (I’ve seen it in person many times and can vouch for it being all natural. That’s what good genes and having a good hair stylist looks like.)

          • Susie Q

            I think Marie’s beauty (and that includes her lovely hair) comes from leading a joyous, fun, fulfilling life that she has created for herself.

            Happiness shows itself in a person’s body, as does unhappiness. Love yourself when you look in the mirror, and the person who looks back at you will smile and shine.

            Thanks for showing us how to do it, Marie and Team Forleo! 🙂

  34. Hi Marie & Team, thank you so much for sharing this resource. I love the non-competitive benchmarking of using a relationship tool for couples in business 🙂 I honestly think that we should all learn how to improve our relationships in every area of our lives. At the end of the day, true connection is what makes us the happiest.
    I’m not sure about my dominant love language (I think I welcome all of them!), so I’ll be sure to take the test you suggested. Thank you so much for sharing.
    Elsa x

  35. Hi Marie,

    This is terrific advice. I’ve owned a virtual assistant company for 8 years now, and we have a team of 35 virtual assistants. We’ve worked with thousands of entrepreneur clients over the years, and I can say, personally, that when clients master that art of appreciation – it goes a long way!

  36. Thanks for a great video (as usual)!

    This was so timely as we’ve just decided to expand our publishing team from 2 to 4. We’re really paying attention to how to work with and manage others in a way that keeps them fulfilled and excited about their work. We’ll be using the 5 love languages to do that!

  37. Jean

    Love Languages is the best way to develop and ensure lasting, honoring relationships! My primary language is words of affirmation. Yup, me and Peggy 🙂

  38. Lori Glier

    Dear Marie,
    Great video!
    I took the test and I am tied with:
    8 Physical touch
    8 Words of affirmation
    Great to know!

  39. Eva

    Love the advise you are truly gifted. I never heard of the book and will run out and get it. I took the test and I am quality time and that is so me. I am just starting a company and its only two of us so I am going to suggest to my partner to take the test. Thanks Marie

    Keep doing what your doing!!!

  40. Liene - silk Art by Liene

    Hi Marie.
    I think it is so true.

  41. That’s a wonderful advice! I have heard of the book and applied the concepts a few years ago, but had not thought about it in a while.

    My partner’s love language is physical touch and quality time. I have to make sure I am not on the computer past 8pm and that I stop working by 5pm otherwise I get into trouble…. I just now realized how closely it’s associated with his love language.

    Mine is act of service and I can see how it works for me as a healer. Whenerver someone is having a difficult time, my first reaction is ‘can i help’, ‘how can I make it better’….

  42. Liene - silk Art by Liene

    “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
    /Maya Angelou/

  43. Stella

    I’m confused. The free test uses a romantic partner. Do i need to take the test with a romatic partner in mind, or with a team memeber in mind? Wouldnt the results change depending on that? How did u do it with ur team? Tks

    • Stella, in the episode and here on the blog, I talk about the version of the book that is specifically geared towards the workplace. Direct links and all 🙂 Have a closer look (or listen) as that version may feel more comfortable to you!

  44. Awesome topic! I don’t have a team right now but this will be extremely useful if I have it in the future. My love language is definitely words of affirmation and I think it is a really common thing 🙂

    Lovely dress!!

  45. I am thinking of having this test available at all my retreats. That way we can start the event getting to know each other even better and support each other more. How awesome that would be!! Thanks as always Marie!!!

  46. Bree

    Great video today! love this insight into a personal love language!

    I also Love your dress….& those cute shoes! 😉

  47. My husband and I have been using this method since we got married! For Valentine’s Day this year, he took the initiative to ask my boss for a day off work for me so we could spend the day at a Marriage Conference – this was the best V-day gift ever because my LL is Quality Time! And the quickest way to show me love or appreciation is to spend quality time with me.

    I think this is also GREAT for the workplace, along with Strengths Finder 2.0 and Emotional Intelligence 2.0 – you’d have an UNSTOPPABLE and UNITED team!

    What a great idea to apply The 5 Love Languages to the workplace!

  48. Leslie Howard

    Hmmm. The authors of this book also have an entire “Five Languages At Work” series of materials as well. Hope that Marie has already read them.

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Leslie, like Marie says in the video, we use the original test because we’re a touchy feely bunch 🙂

  49. I love Gary’s book. I read my copy numerous times as well as loaned it to couples I know. After taking the test and reviewing the website for Gary’s newest book, I sent the link to members of my mastermind group asking that each person completes the test and share their results next month in our meeting.

    During my corporate career, I found that showing people how much I valued and appreciated them increased the level of discretionary effort that demonstrated toward the success of the businesses I lead.

    As always Marie, thanks for your meaningful insights. I appreciate you for all the encouragement that you give to all of us.

    Sending lots of love and positive energy to everyone!

  50. Good Message to get back to!! We get so busy with work, and life we forget that these languages provide balance to our lives and relationships. Mine is Physical touch, and quality time. Nothing says I love you, like putting down the phone, turning down the volume, and just focusing on me, and whatever I have to say. I love touch in a way that isn’t sexual, but in an attentive way. My husband unfortunately needs to learn that, because he likes to grab instead. He is, as we all are a work in progress :).

  51. Marie I am so thrilled I took your course this year. Everyday I know I made the right choice because you speak my language;). I am so proud to say I am one of the first 300 people trained under the tutelage of Dr. Martin Seligman in his Authentic Happiness Positive Psychology Coaching program and it has been my mission since 2003 to lead with love, appreciation, gratitude and positivity. In fact, my first book is on this topic using The Nurtured Heart Approach in the workplace.
    I love that you sing..I typically know all your song references and they make me smile. I appreciate that you are authentic. You are not pretending to be someone else or changing who you least that is the way you come off. I am grateful that I was on the Hay House emails to find out about you. Thank you for sharing YOUR special brand of love;).

  52. Hi, Marie
    Fantastic idea and tool!
    I took the test and I confirmed the top two languages of love: touch and words. I live in a place where people are quite stand-off’ish so touch is out of the question. No wonder I look for friends from more touchy-feely places of the world 🙂
    I’ll read the book, can’t wait!
    Thanks again,

  53. Doug Shoaff

    Marie, I loved the question and your resources. I am a one-person business at start up, but i can see how this applies across so many situations. Thanks.

  54. Great clip! I love this book and I know my love language is words of affirmation. Imagine if politicians and government officials communicated using this language? What a wonderful world it would be! We can start from within to create this change and let the whole world follow suit. Thank you Marie for your awesome reminders and words of encouragement. So grateful for you!

  55. LeeNichole Marett

    I was a year into my marriage the first time I read “The Five Love Languages,” and it completely changed my relationship. My love language is words of affirmation, so when I wanted my husband to know how much I loved him, I’d tell him about it. I’d write him love letters or leave little notes in his work bag, and I thought that was working. However, it turns out that his love language is quality time. It didn’t matter how often I expressed my love verbally; it I wasn’t clearing my schedule for workday lunches or date nights, he wasn’t really feeling loved. At the same time, even though he was working hard to spend time with me, I wasn’t getting the words of affirmation that I needed from him. Reading this book changed everything. I understand now that nothing makes my husband more loved than when I clear my entire schedule for a weekend alone together, and he knows that nothing is quite so special to me as a heartfelt love letter once in a while. I’ve never even considered incorporating the same concepts into my business, but after seeing it make such a difference in my relationship, I can’t wait to try this with my team!

  56. I just took the test and my love language is receiving Gifts. I had a revelation I now understand why birthdays and gifts are so important to me.

    So interesting. Thank you so much!

  57. Maya

    That was the best lesson yet, I totally needed to hear that today. I was going through some hard time with people sometimes, even though my job is to help people… I don’t want to lose hope in some people but sometimes it’s really hard to keep up with the passionate love to everybody, especially when they can’t respect you. I will try to understand this better and study, because this is really important for me to get and do it to farther my career!! Thank you south Marie and the wonderful team who believes in us and world!! It means a lot.

  58. what if you are already doing this and but you keep coming across flaky team members who don’t care for things like this. They show that they awesome in the beginning and then they just don’t really care for your business and idea. Its so hard even when you show love, affirmation and spiritual guidance, what do you do then? Its taking me forever to find an assistant who doesn’t want to take over or be flakey and unprofessional.
    any ideas please?

    • Emma,
      The fact that you want to lead and guide people on your team tells me you have a vision for your team. AWESOME! I have a hunch the issue might be in your hiring process. Have you ever seen when Marie has had a job posting for Team Forleo? It’s been rare but the description I saw blew me away–specifically asked for rockstars but weened out those who “just wanted to do their own thing.” I know for me, I’ve gotten much better assistants when I started using my brand’s personality but CLEAR communication of what I was looking for (detail oriented, admin ninjas) and what I was NOT looking for (flaky, out-of-touch, excuse-givers) to my hiring ads. When you hire someone, make sure you’re not just settling on someone who’s capable, they should buy into the vision upfront. You might even want to market your job to someone who fits your ideal customer avatar, that way they understand the value of the service you’re providing. I know this is hard to answer without seeing your specific process in action but I hope that helps!

  59. Ms.chinchilla

    Well said Marie.
    Most of all: Let Them Know You Have Their Back
    As the leader of a team, your team members must know that you have their back and that you are their greatest supporter. I see my primary job to remove obstacles that are In My team’s way and to be there to support them when issues arise with a customer or other internal groups. When you team members know they have your unconditional support, they can move forward with confidence.

  60. Akilove

    My language is receiving gifts. Its how I show love and how I feel loved. 😀 Finding the perfect gift for someone just makes me feel so awesome inside….

  61. Hallo Marie,
    When I know Tuesday is coming I can’t waiiiiiit to watch your episode!
    Keep the great work.

    And as always a huge thank you 🙂

  62. Hey Marie,

    Great video! I’ve thought a lot about these love languages. I think for me, I feel most loved when I’m told I am loved, and appreciated, when I feel like the other person knows who I am and the gifts I have to share and supports me in sharing these gifts, and when he is committed to me, undoubtedly…. 🙂

    Have a fantastic day!

  63. I love this! I’m just gathering a community, and this is exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thank you. =)

  64. AMY

    i took the test and I got the result i always knew was my love language ,wait for it ……….acts of service

    • Good for you Amy! Now the key will be knowing the language of those closest to you, and all being on the same page about it 🙂

  65. I did this test verbally a few years ago, together with a therapist in couples therapy. The outcome didn’t feel clear at all and it didn’t bring a change in the relationship. Today I did it again and the outcome makes so much more sense! What’s really interesting is that my love language completely lines up with where I focus my new business on in B-School as well. A wonderful unexpected confirmation I’m on the right path. Thanks Marie!

  66. Great episode. Showing appreciation for your team is so important for building a happy and productive culture. I only wish the “Don Drappers” of the world would watch your videos.

  67. Great insight! I am a huge Verbal Affirmer. I give it constantly and love receiving it.

    Thanks for sharing.

  68. omg. I just started to re-listen this book TODAY! Thank you so much Marie, this was a great reminder!

  69. Cheryl McLaughlin

    Marie, thank you. This is such important information. I’ve trained elite athletes and coaches for many years and one of the biggest challenges is helping coaches, parents and young athletes to understand how to encourage and appreciate each other effectively…to tune more into what the “other” needs and how they experience it. Many parents and coaches try to show their kids the encouragement, appreciation and love they wish they had, but it often doesn’t fit what this young person wants and needs. It’s the same in business and life. Well done.

  70. Jenny Britt

    Thanks, Marie and Team Forleo! I hadn’t heard of these books and will pick them up today. It turns out I’m a hugger!
    No big surprise but I’m eager to find out how the people
    around me prefer to be loved at my current job and as I build my own
    team for my business. You are all amazing!! (Verbal appreciation) and I appreciate this free gift!

  71. Oh definitely. There’s books on this stuff geared toward connecting with your kids too! (My doodle is a touch kid.)

  72. This is a really interesting exercise, I’ve been through the Speed of Trust by Franklin Covey and The Birkman Method with teams. It was a challenge/awkward to open dialogue amongst team members and I remember Speed of Trust bringing focus on the elephants in the room – core reasons people did and didn’t trust each other. We were all leading teams and had to improve the way we as peers worked together. The Birkman Method was useful in understanding where we and our colleagues landed in various grids – I believe most helpful was understanding what our stressors and needs were.

    I just did the 5 Language exercise, my main language was Quality Time, Then Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation and Receiving Gifts. I thought Words of Affirmation would have been at the top of the list for me but in terms of Quality Time, I’m always been big on quality over quantity. I think in personal and professional worlds you make the best of the time in front of you, quality over quantity. From a professional level I made sure my teams knew I was there for them beyond the deadlines, some were located remotely, and that I was there for them when I pushed them outside of their comfort zones to grow.

    I think this exercise would have been challenging in my previous work environments because I see it opening a door to vulnerabilities – but I think that’s great. I watched The Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown not too long ago and thought her Ted Talk was amazing. Reading about 5 Love Languages I’m intrigued and finding some great content on their website. Thanks for a great video and window into another great resource of growth and information, really enjoying Tuesday Q&A, it’s become my “cup of java”.

  73. Thank you so much for sharing! Such an insightful video clip. My primary love language is words of affirmation. Looking forward to your next video post!

  74. I’ve read “The 5 Love Languages” and it is very eye opening. But I never thought about using it in business or with a team. It’s a great idea because it is easy to be constantly asking team members for things or fixing things. But I’ve heard that, especially for some people, they need to hear up to 5 affirmations for every criticism in order to be able to feel fully appreciated and become a more engaged team member. It’s all about positive reinforcement.

  75. Hi Marie!

    I work for a Church of about 6,500 with 7 domestic and 2 international campuses. One thing we do is have desk/ office name plates that have our Myers Briggs / Personality Type on them. This helps so much when knowing how to address someone on specific topics / and knowing what reactions to expect!

  76. Are cookies a love language? Cause one of my bosses gave me cookies for a job well done and I loved it!

    Just kidding. My love language is acts of service. I am definitely not a hugger, but my husband’s love language is physical touch. It’s tough sometimes, but I know it’s important to him.

  77. Ginger Moss

    I’ve been using the 5 Love Languages in every aspect of my life for the last six years.

    I use it in my relationships with coworkers, family, volunteer organizations and my love life. If anyone is going to be spending significant amount of time with me I ask them to take the test and I share my results with them.

    I also utilize the 5 Languages of apology which is another helpful book by Gary Chapman.

  78. Hey Marie:
    You are right on! I loved this segment and I also took the test. My love language is that of “Acts of Service”. I never gave it much thought but I must agree. Thank you for your insight and words or wisdom! YOU are an inspiration! XOXO Kim

  79. Wow! That was a fascinating vlog. I went to the attached link immediately after and did the test. It was eye opening for me and definitely helps me better understand myself. Thank you so much!

  80. I read The 5 Languages of Love in 1995. It changed my marriage for the better instantly! My husband and I were trying so hard to love each other as we thought the other wanted to be loved. I had been doing acts of services like crazy that weren’t noticed that much, and he was all touchy feely with words of appreciation that rolled right off my heart. What a relief to discover how to love each other using the 5 Languages. But I never thought to use the 5 Languages as part of a team! It makes so much sense.

  81. Brilliant! I made my close circle of friends take this test years ago and the results have been fantastic. (And yes, Kristen’s language IS physical touch. And quality time.)

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Must be something about the name! 😉

      • Team Kristen physical touch!!! Haha so funny!

  82. Melanie Duan

    Really interesting approach. I did not know this book neither the approach. Absolutely love it and think it is sooo true! Thank you for this secret weapon! Sunny smiles, Melanie

  83. Great topic, Marie, THANKS!
    And YES, you have nice shoes 🙂

  84. I am also a Kristen with a physical touch love language 🙂
    We JUST talked about this in my church home group Sunday night and all went around telling everyone how we like to receive (and give!) love. I love knowing what my husband and friends value but never thought about bringing this into my business. Awesome idea, thanks again Marie!

  85. My love language is acts of service and receiving gifts. This was the first time I did this quiz and it totally hit the nail on the head for me. 🙂

  86. Love it! Five Love Languages saved my marriage (husband acts of service, me- quality time). When I was Director of Curriculum and Instruction, we had teachers give this test to their students so they would know how to best reach and motivate them — while not all teachers bought in, those that did saw incredible leaps and bounds improvement in their students (especially the struggling ones ). I think there is a child version of the test too, and what a way to build a team.

    • Kelly, my husband used to spend weekends doing thing for me to show me how much he loved me, while I felt ignored and unloved. All I wanted was for him to sit with me or walk with me and talk.

  87. I love this book, but would never have thought to apply it to my business team. Brilliant! Thank you, Marie 😉

  88. Elena

    I really enjoyed the video Thanks! I listened to the book a few years ago, and your comment made me want to go back and listen to it again.. Great for my new morning workout; >. I still keep the concepts alive in my mind and try to apply them in my life. It is really helpful.
    I still haven’t hired a team. Or wrather I work with someone I consider a partner eventhogh I pay her. It works great for what we do. But I have got to admit that the thought of hiring a team is daunting. And I just know I will have to If I want to get these Ideas off the ground. I am hoping to get some pointers here of how to go about it and also how to figure out salaries and overseas employees. and all of that.
    I am so enjoying Bschool. It has really changed my whole energy…and I admit I have overwhelm moments just because I can not fit all the brainstorming, improvement ideas, kids, home renovation and work and job offer within the same chunk of time.

    Ahhhhhhhhhh! Love it!!!

  89. I’m gonna have to check out this book to find out the best ways to connect with my clients to keep them going! Some people really respond to tough love and others need more coddling. I would love to learn more about this so I know which to choose and when!

  90. Wow! What a fresh approach to understanding people! Doing this could save so much time, money (less turnover) and energy with our teams! Marie, so nice to hear such a new idea being offered by you and Mr. Chapman. Thank you!

  91. As a Life and Business Coach, The Five Love Languages is one of the first topics that I address with my clients and encourage them to explore with their family and staff. Two other topics that I find very valuable are emotional needs from the book His Needs Her Needs by Dr. Harley and a Needs assessment from Coach U. These three things help people to see themselves and understand their current struggles in a whole new and empowering way.

  92. Heather Clarey

    I first heard of this from a good friend of mine a few years ago.
    She and her fiancé were using it too! I am not at all supprised at
    my results. I do like gifts. To me it’s not what’s most important.
    Thanks for sharing!

    11 Physical Touch
    7 Acts of Service
    6 Quality Time
    5 Words of Affirmation
    1 Receiving Gifts

  93. The 5 love languages is a great book! One of my clients borrowed it to me for my fiance and I to read before we got married. It totally helped us be on the same page and understand each other a little better. I’m act of service and that has helped him understand I like it when people show me things rather then tell me things. I hadn’t even thought about applying it to business but great idea to expand that and notice it about other people in your life.

  94. I love this video! Thanks for sharing. I’m about to do a corporate workshop including an appreciation exercise and I’m thinking I’ll include the 5 appreciation/love languages somehow. 🙂

  95. Such an interesting test!
    My love language is Words of Affirmation…sending this test to my husband asap! 😉

  96. kay

    Hi Marie,
    I recently discovered you and have already learned a lot. Appreciate your advice so much since I am in process of starting up my own business from home as a SAH Mom. Would have signed up for B-school but too new and not enough money yet. Maybe next year.

    May I humbly offer my opninion concerning your videos? Love everything about them – setting, length, relaxed yet elegant and professional atmosphere, and of course content. BUT in my opinion you should leave off the little before-and-after “goofing off” clips. Get the idea, but to me it only makes you come across as showy and, well narcissistic. I don’t think you are either of these, otherwise I wouldn’t keep watching. Also, for whatever it’s worth, I would leave out the mini-skits as well, just not necessary. That’s one fan’s opinion – take it or leave it.

    Best wishes for you,

  97. Jen

    Thanks for sharing this Marie. I just did the free online test and it’s amazing!!! Why did I not know this about myself already. The lightbulb has just gone on and things makes more sense. Thanks so much 🙂

  98. The Five Love Languages is the number 1 book I recommend to Feng Shui clients who have improving their marriage as their focus. My primary love language is Quality Time, and the secondary is Touch.

  99. Oh boy! What if I’m a hermit – and prefer solitude? Is there a language for the solo types? Like “lots of alone time”? 🙂

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Hi Saiisha! I’m totally one of those people who loves solitude too. While I of course have fun with the Team and my friends & family, I just love that alone time.

      I like to think of the love languages as how I can best relate to others when I am interacting with people, but interestingly I find that my own love language (words of affirmation) is what I need from myself the most too.

      Cheers for solitude! <3

      • Hey Caroline! Nice to see a face to your name – thanks for helping me out last week… Team Forleo rocks!

        I see what you mean about Words of Affirmation – as a language to relate to others, but also with yourself – that’s some interesting insight.

  100. THIS IS SO CRAZY! I was thinking about how I could connect better with my team, just this week. I was contemplating having them take the 5 Love Languages test or the Myers-Briggs personality test, so that our entire team could have better communication/conflict resolution. I literally laughed out loud when I saw this video; it couldn’t have been better timing. Thanks Marie…for inspiring us by having a business and life that you love!

  101. I’m a long standing fan of the Five Love Languages theory, so delighted to see you promoting it, Marie.

    But a word of warning. This isn’t quite as simple as “oh, she likes gifts, go buy something, that’ll keep her happy”.

    I have a boss for whom gifts are meaningless. In the Christmas Kringle he pick some crappy thing he owns and doesn’t want and wraps that up for the gift receiver. Gifts are my secondary love language and so I have hassled him about this practice many times. He always buys me gifts when he travels, but I know they’re cheap, crappy trinkets which take no thought at all. And so, are fairly meaningless to me because I still know they’re meaningless to him – no real effort or thought or cost to him.

    Similarly, my primary language is touch, but I CAN NOT STAND people touching me if they don’t “mean it”. For me, touch is super powerful so you’d better mean it, not just give it away cheaply.

    Does that make sense?

    It’s not just about using a trick or tool to keep people happy, you gotta start really speaking it and learn how to use the other language meaningfully.

    Hope that’s helpful….

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Great points, Naomi – thank you for sharing your thoughts. We always believe it’s so important to have authenticity be at the heart of our actions, because, as you point out, people can tell when it isn’t “real.”

  102. Yes, appreciation is one of the 4 foundational tools of lasting happiness. Thanks for another great article Marie. Great stuff. May you and yours enjoy more happiness and success than you can imagine.

  103. Thanks Marie. Such simple yet profound guidance every week.

    I was almost the only school teacher I knew who consistently responded to all situations with one of the love languages. For my students it was often dramatically life-changing. It sometimes created a dilemma for school administrators, who didn’t know what to with kids I’d supported through “bad behaviour”. But the long-term result was always the same.

    By addressing the pain behind the behaviour, while supporting with kindness and patience, it’s impossible to get it wrong. Thank you Stephen Covey! His 7 Habits was life-changing for me.

    So I’m writing this not to brag, but to urge people to approach teachers in the same manner. Not only do they need the love more than most(!), but the extent to which they feel loved and appreciated as people with their own feelings and needs will be a strong determining factor in how much they’re able to inspire their students, or to disengage them – and there’s one helluva lot of disengaged school students who hate their teachers! They then become the haters of the future.

    By treating teachers like hurt children, which most still are emotionally to some extent, and showing love and appreciation, but without approval for their behaviour, we can begin to turn education around so that it empowers children rather than disempowering them. When this happens, it will have an enormous impact on our society and on our planet.

    Thanks as always, Marie, for being you

  104. Isabel

    My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation! I read The Five Love Languages a few years ago and it made a huge impact in understanding relationships. I also enjoy helping others figure out what their love language is as well!

  105. David K

    Dear Marie,

    Although I have enjoyed your postings, this is the first time I have felt compelled to respond. Last year I was working in very dysfunctional non-profit, I wrote a professional letter to the Board identifying the need for developing a healthier internal working culture. Two weeks later I was fired! Of course there is more to the story, including a recalcitrant CEO! After I left and after a board review, rather than instituting change (sadly enough), the organization lowered the bar for itself by getting rid of a visionary set of corp values and reducing their mission goals. Creating a healthy, functional workplace is so critical for enjoying life. We spend so much of our precious time at work, making it be rewarding as possible is such a gift for everyone involved. Most bench marks for success are externally oriented, whether they relate to the profits of an organization, or the external wealth of an individual. My hope is that someday our measure of success will be measured by the health of our internal environment as well as the external. We truly need balance, for ourselves, and for the planet.

    Thanks for your contribution for a healthier planet! Seriously!

    Best to you and your team,


    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      David, thank you so much for your comment and kind words. We’re grateful that you were inspired to post and share your thoughts after following us for a while!

      I’m sorry to hear that you went through that situation – I know you’re not alone there, and it’s so tough to see real solutions and have the company culture not accept them. Your points about health of the internal environment and balance are SO important.

      I hope that you’ve found yourself in a more welcoming environment since then – it sounds like you have so much to offer to the right place!

  106. Marie, I LOVE how you continuously expand/deepen my perspectives. 🙂

    While I’ve always made it part of my way of being, to express love and appreciation to those who make a difference in my life in some way (from family and friends to teachers, service providers and people that make just a brief appearance on my journey), learning that there are 5 specific love and appreciation languages takes that to a whoooole other level!

    Thank you for sharing this!
    Another great MarieTV.
    Love & appreciation sent your way (translated to your own language when it reaches you). 😉

  107. Love this video! Motivates me even more on the launch of my new book THE HAPPY JOURNAL. It’s designed to help people be proactive in making their own happiness. Part of my plan is to promote these journals in the workplace. Giving staff a tool to be responsible in creating their own happiness (and to not place blame of unhappiness on ‘that’ boss or coworker).

  108. Kerlana Mejias

    This helped me so much. Thank you Marie!!

  109. Kimberly

    Pre Cana 8 yrs ago! The best thing my husband and I did. Although he still confuses the concept when he says “but I changed your windshield wipers and washed your car?” And I remind him those are HIS – acts of service, MINE are touch and words of affirmation. But when I see him vacuum out the outback I know he loves me and boy I’ve never felt so appreciated for doing a load of laundry. Now to implement this at work. Thanks!

    (Oh and Marie- don’t feed the negative trolls). Back to the B school grind. You’re kicking my butt!

  110. Hey Marie,

    Great video. loved your tips I guess its going to work awesomely well in all areas of life. Thank you so much. Would be checking out the books soon.

    Love what you do


  111. Hi Marie,

    I have no idea what my love language is, but I’ll certainly be taking the test.

    At the moment I’m a one women team, I only have to keep myself motivated. But my future goals is to eventually have my own small team.

    Your ideas are great and it’s a great way to make a new team member feel immediately connected to the rest of Team Forleo.

    I know when it is a small team relationship can be more personal. But I’ve often wondered how do you keep from crossing the line into being unprofessional? When it’s a small team it seems to be more like friends who work great together.

    But what do you do about the team member who treats the boss like friend?

    If you had to cancel lunch with your best friend, you’ve been friends forever they will forgive you. But what about a team member who might think to themselves “me and the boss get on great I can take a day off here and there”.

    When it’s such as a small team, how do you keep that line clear?

    Thanks, Naomi

  112. Dear Marie,

    I wish you a National Day of Celebration of Greek and American Democracy 2015 greetings full of love, cakes, mathematics, coding, relativity, gravity, exclusivity, dating, social networking, Agile Modeling, blogging, angels, fairies, blessings, flowers, wonders, greetings, magic & miracles!!! I wish you all the success in life. I am inspired by you. For me the language of love for my Team is:

    1. I received X number of valid clicks for Ashley Madison Affiliation Program or Y number of unique views for Google AdSense Advertisement in my site at!!!!

    2. How much money I can earn by selling my Art in France?

    3. How much money Dad can make by investing in shares?

    4. How much expected EPC / Month I can earn by working as Target Corporation USA Affiliate?

    Thank you for reading my message. I wish you all the best in career.

  113. By the way… I just did the test

    Acts of Service!

  114. Hi Marie

    I love when this happens! Just the other day someone mentioned this book to me and I was planning to get it from the library or grab it online. I didn’t know there was an online test. Thank you for sharing. I was interested for my marriage & children. I don’t have a business team yet but see it will be handy there too. Currently in Bschool so am ‘seeing’ you a lot lately

  115. Tania Chilby

    I LOVE using this idea for business as well as for every area in your life. I read all the Love languages and I have used with my daughters and friends and I even read the relationship one too. I love touch as A Love language in my life, I have a Moon in Taurus so I love any thing to do with touch, body products creams and any thing touchy feely !! Thanks Marie

  116. Jean

    Marie, I love Steven Covey’s books. Thank you for the quotes. They help me remember what I learned from him.
    My primary Love Language is “Acts of Service.” I love it when my husband helps me around the house. This is especially true now. I am now disabled and unable to do most things that I used to do.

  117. Love Language? Don’t flap your gums about it, do about it! Acts of service all the way. To me, if I matter to you, you do something for me to show it. While other “languages” are important to, in their own time, this takes complete precedence over everything else, especially since I am a work horse by nature, but sometimes it is nice to get a break and have someone else to do things for me.

  118. Ada Mary Jane

    Thank you Marie!!! going trough the quiz helped me realise and value more fully what I receive in my daily life… The surprise is that it’s much more than I had realised!!
    I’m feeling a sense of gratitude towards life and it’s magic…

  119. Elisabeth Isabelle

    Dear Marie en co

    You know, I don’t have to be angry with my parents anymore. I do know now that they’ve another love-language than me!
    Even with colleague’s, I finally know why I’m so often confused.
    And I’ll learn myself, from now on, to appreciate other ‘love-languages’.

    Thank You!
    Elisabeth Isabelle

  120. Thank you Marie! 😀 It´s like you read my mind. I have bee strugling with this for a while. But I also wonder how often you stay in contact with your team by e-mail etc, and how often you and your team actally meet in person. Can you say something about that?
    I run an online yoga studio, and I have a team of yoga instructors and writers (for the blogg). The problem is just that some of them don´t reply to e-mails, calls etc, and I am wondering if it my lack of leadership, or if they are just not the right people for the business…?
    Would love to get your advice on how to keep them motivated when we don´t see each other! 😀 Loooove! Anne Simone

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Great questions, Anne! Regarding our team, we meet in person a couple times a year. In terms of checking in throughout the week, we do have regular calls where we check in as a whole team, and we’re often very in touch via email on a daily basis.

      Our whole team is really committed to being present and staying in communication with each other, as it’s such an important part of having a remote team. That can be a bit more difficult if your team isn’t working on a full-time basis though, and it sounds like your team might have other things of their own going on other than your company.

      You might like to consider what commitment you need from your team that makes the most sense for your company – weekly calls? monthly calls? regular email check-ins on a particular day? Then make sure that everyone is on the same page with your expectations and understands their commitment to your company.

      I hope that helps, and thanks so much for tuning in this week!

      • @Caroline. You give very useful information. Thanks

  121. Sean m Waight

    Thanks for mentioning that book, I need it to show my wife I love and appreciate her in the way that she wants most. Right now she hates my guts! Lol! I bought the book through audible. Looking forward to learning!
    Thanks Marie!! Next time I’m in NY I wanna meet you and see your operations! Good job!! You make me want to close up shop and work for you!! It looks like such a fun progressive work environment!

  122. I read an applied this ever since the book 1st came out in the early 2000s. It’s an excellent resource to use in all relationships! I’ve noticed that overtime due to things I’ve experienced in life that my love language has actually fluctuated depending on what part of my “tank” is being filled at the time or what struggles I’m experiencing. So I think this is a great tip but also recommend that people should redo the test or re-examine your love language or their partners love language from time to time to be sure that it hasn’t fluctuated some and they’re not feeling the part of what they need isn’t being filled anymore. For instance my main love language when I first read the book was ask of service, but then overtime because of deprivation of all types of love in my experiences and relationships, my love language actually switched and became a balance of quality time and words of affirmation, with acts of service coming in at a close third. Thanks for your tips always! I’m going to try this with my team as well. 🙂

  123. Great advice in this video, Marie! Can I just say how fun you are?! Thanks for being not only super successful but also super fun and genuine!

    I took the test, and was surprised to discover that my love language has changed since I took it 8 years ago. I think I’m becoming more practical as I age! My love language used to be gifts and now it’s acts of service. I think becoming a busy mom has probably contributed to that! My sister and I are business partners and work together, and I’m encouraging her to take the test too.

    I’ve realized in our working relationship – that when she says, “I can take that off your plate this week. I know you’re busy with X” I appreciate that so much! Can’t wait to see what her love language is so I can be a better encourager/supporter of her too.

    I’m also thankful for a husband who is great at acts of service. He comes home from 12 hour days and never stops helping around the house, spending time playing with our son (which is also an act of service to me!), and more.

    When we add employees to our business, I will definitely have them each take this test – what an amazing idea! Thanks again, Marie!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Wonderful, Beth Anne, and thank you for your very kind words.

      I think it’s quite common for love languages to shift as life changes and demands new things from us — mine have shifted too.

      So happy to have you tuning in! 🙂

  124. Great info on the video, Marie! I read this book years ago but never thought about applying it to people I’m working with. I’m still a one-woman show (for now) but will definitely be applying these principles as I grow a team.
    I re-took the test after several years and see that the results haven’t changed much for me. My love languages are gifts, then affirmations/acts of service tied for 2nd spot 🙂

  125. HELL YES!!! This could not be more timely!!! I love the love languages and had NO idea that there is one for biz too. I’m buying it now and plan to use it right away with my teams. Thank you Thank you!

    XOOOOO – Judi

  126. Love this video, like all the rest.
    In the past working for others, I so often felt under appreciated. Now whenever I pay anyone who works with me, I add words of mega appreciation for their excellent work with each pay check. It feels right.
    I’m looking forward to reading this book and learning even more how to be more generous by being specific in showing gratitude.

    • @Jennifer. You make good job, sometime I lose of it. That is not faith with people are working best for us but I always try to fix this mistake.

  127. Joanne Larkins

    Powerful information here, and it does help me. I am working through the “shutting myself down” after I hear positive feedback, even though, that is exactly what my heart needs, positive affirmations. I am doing “Tapping” for it. I recommend Jessica Ortner, if you wish to check it out. She would be fantastic for an interview, by you, Marie. Thank you for all that you are doing to make this world a better place to live, for everyone. Sending positive vibrations, for your continuing success.

  128. I love this episode. This make so much sense and will help a lot at home. I am purchasing the book right now and took the test. I’ll ask hubby to take it, too. I still don’t have employees in my business, but I will use it at home. Thanks for sharing.

  129. Marie,
    I love this book and have incorporated it into my business as well. The interesting thing about the workplace version is that physical touch doesn’t show up for people in the workplace.
    I help business owners show appreciation to their clients and recommend they include all love languages in the work they do to be sure they touch their client’s heart whether they know their love language or not.

  130. Yes! This book helped my marriage so much! For 9+ years my partner always believed that I liked touch as much as him and then after reading this book it was apparent that affirmation was my primary language. I offer this wisdom to my coaching and counseling clients and am happy to know it can be extended to the workplace as well.

    And not that you asked, Marie, but sweetheart, get that laptop off of your lap! You need to keep that area of your body healthy and wifi-free!

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      It’s an iPad 🙂

  131. I love, love, LOVE that book too! What a difference it all makes. As always, I adore your video, too. You are always inspiring. In fact, you are one of the people that has (unknowingly) encouraged me to follow _my_ calling. Thank you for that. Hugs!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Thank you, we’re so happy to hear that LD. Hugs right back!

  132. Carol-Ann Marshall

    Marie, this is so appropriate. I just bought the original book yesterday and started reading it last night. I haven’t taken the test but I know for sure that I have two love languages, touch and affirmations. I can truly see how this could be extremely valuable when building a team. Thanks for giving us this new insight.

  133. Ava

    Love it!

  134. I friggin’ love this, I just did the test and it is so on point. I’m going to get my team to do it… I work in Investment Banking will be interesting to see the outcome.
    Really enjoyed your vlog today, thank you Marie x

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      That’s wonderful, Reena and thanks for your kind words. Having a happy, supportive team is terrific no matter what industry you’re in, and I hope you find the love languages to be a useful tool!

  135. We don’t need to see your cute shoes,you are cute enough.Learnt a really important thing-love languages.Thanks.

  136. I so appreciate you and your insights! Will take this test & will share this to my friends & loved ones to enjoy. You are awesome Marie! Thanks & hugs

  137. Sara

    Maybe someone posted this already – but it’s for the workplace. Cheers!

  138. Hey Marie! I just read this (the tweetable) in the book Captivology too 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing! I love the book the Five Love Languages. So happy to see you sharing it here today!

  139. Love your stuff Team Forleo! Marie – you are such an inspiration!

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much, Hanneke 🙂

  140. I did this with my son and husband last night (on the site they have a test for kids) – Although I have known for a long time what my love language was, it was so wonderful for both my hubby and teenage son to read and understand it so they can understand why I always need words of affirmation… and I can understand my sons love language is Quality Time (awwww… love that!) and my husbands is Acts of Service… so all that time when he’s filling my car with petrol (thats what we call gas in Australia) and ironing my blouses, hes really telling me he loves me. I Get it!!! :)) Thanks again Marie. X

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Yes, Tenar! Knowing those can make a huge difference, and I’m so glad you did it the three of you.

  141. Diana Gaffney

    That’s awesome, thank you for sharing that.

  142. Marie. Congrats you have a happy team. That is right when we think about ‘What people make right and good always attract more support.”

  143. Ali

    Hi Marie,
    I want to say you’re awesome, and I appreciate you!

  144. Great way to use the 5 love languages. Super book, my daughter introduced to me a few years back. I love using DiSC too, because it really helps people understand and value differences. Thanks as always Marie, great topic!


    Many thanks to you Dear Marie for the awesome inputs you share with us every week.
    I feel I do understand you, validate your approach, and I appreciate your efforts in clarifying things and reaching out to us.

    Love you for all of your efforts

  146. I absolutely love the Five Love Languages. I was first introduced to it when my now husband and I read it during our courtship 12 years ago. I most recently implemented it in a Mastermind Group I hosted during a 14-day Love & Empowerment Challenge. The group loved it, and raved about their results and their excitement to begin implementing it into their relationships.

    As always, you deliver in such an astoundingly impactful way Marie.

    Thank you!

  147. Love this video Marie! I am “Acts of Service” all the way…gifts, words – I’m not that interested – Show Me by what you do and I feel valued. Love this book, it really helped me understand how every person needs to feel appreciated in their own language, my husband is all about the Physical Touch so now I now that just touching his hand or shoulder when I speak to me makes him feel appreciated and loved.

  148. I love your free spirit and joy. You are an inspiration Marie. I’ve already added Gary’s book to my cart.

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Thank you so much, Derek. Enjoy!

  149. Great topic. So often, we express appreciation in the way we ourselves like to receive, which has only a 20% chance of landing as the love language of the receiver. Thanks for honing in on using “appreciation radar” in a way that will be appreciated!

  150. Steph

    Marie, I’d love to be a part of your team. I didn’t know such work environments existed. My love languages are equally acts of service and words of affirmation. I also completed the workplace quiz and my workplace is Deadly. I cried because it is true. Wow. I need an exit strategy. I’m scared but it has to be better than this. Thanks Marie & Team Marie.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      I’m so sorry to hear that, Steph. I’ve been in some incredibly toxic work environments myself, and they can weigh on you so heavily.

      We’re sending Team Forleo love and best wishes that you’ll find a much better environment soon. You can also check out this recent episode for some tips on staying strong as you’re making the transition:

      • Steph

        Thanks Caroline. This episode helped me realize I can not let the words, action or energy of others negatively effect me. I am working on rising above by focusing on my strengths. I still need to be my best as I work on leaving.

  151. I totally love this book and test. I use the concepts frequently in my practice with employees and patients. Thanks for the information boost!

  152. Jenn

    I own a small business designing & building rooftop gardens in Chicago. I would love to praise my employees with their mode of “love language” but uh, er, a majority of my staff are men in construction roles such as carpenters, welders & garden maintenance. Is there a version of this questionnaire for a more masculine approach, so as a women I do not feel uncomfortable or make anyone on my staff uncomfortable? (Also, my preferred mode of love language is Acts of Service & lowest on my totem is physical touch) Thanks for your advice!

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Great question, Jenn. You might find the book “The 5 Languages of Appreciation” might fit better for your staff. The link is right below the video if you’d like to check it out. It uses the same principles, but it’s designed for the workplace so it would likely be more comfortable for people and teams who aren’t quite as touch-feely as we are here 😉

  153. Margret Wathey

    Marie, you rock! and I loved your video! Thanks for being awsome!

  154. Rula

    Marie, how awesome that this lesson on relevant validation – it totally validated the feelings I’ve been having about my team lately. This gave me some great tools and ideas and I can’t wait to use them to connect with my team!

  155. I got my business/personal assistant to take the Love Languages assessment. It has made a REALLY great difference in our relationship and communication. Thanks for the secret Marie!

  156. Jana

    I have been follow you for 4 years. You haven’t idea how much my life has turn on in my dream. I am a brasilian business woman, and my personal and profissional life has change so much in this several years. Thank you so much Marie.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      That’s amazing, Jana … we’re so honored to hear that. Thank you so much for tuning in and being a part of our world!

  157. Andrea

    Love you Marie, love your shows. Your team are the luckiest. 🙂 <3

    • Andrea

      If only team leaders take your tips, the World would be much more productive and happier 🙂

  158. Karen Cherniak

    Love this book and it has been very helpful to me.

    My primary love language is Words of Affirmation. I didn’t always have that growing up and it is so important. Books like The Secret & The Law of Attraction are very helpful to me, as i also struggle with anxiety & depression, but over the years these amazing books have truly helped me.

    My secondary love language is physical touch. I didn’t always have that growing up as well, so it is important for me to show love to others.

    Thanks so much! 🙂

    • Kristin – Team Forleo

      Karen, I think it’s really incredible that you know your top love languages and recognize that you didn’t receive as much of those languages as you would have liked growing up. It’s even more amazing that you’re able to focus on giving that love to others rather than seeking it only for yourself. That’s so beautiful!

  159. Shauna Schmitt

    I took the test and I am Words of Affirmation. This is not surprising to me as I will always look throughout my day in ways that I receive that feedback from those that I love.

  160. Wow, thankyou so much for this Marie! Even without the test…I can tell already that I like to hear words of appreciation. Now I know why I haven’t been brave enough to turn ON the comments on my web pages yet…. I am soooo scared of getting negative words sent my way!
    But I can see, I am also preventing any positive feedback! Oh my, what to do! 🙂

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      I so hear you, Linda. Words of appreciation for me too – big time – and I also really resonate with the fear of getting negative comments. I’m not sure if you saw this one already, but we did an episode recently about how to deal with criticism online:

      Fortunately there are also so many great people out there who will leave positive comments. Despite how loud the critics can be, there are many, many more awesome and kind people, so if you decide to turn comments on, I’m sure you’ll see some positive feedback coming your way 🙂

  161. Hi Marie,

    Great post! I am glad you mentioned and are also using Gary Chapman’s book on love languages. It demonstrates that you can use a Christian/spiritual book to positively impact an organization. I am a firm believer that if you make the investment in your team, the benefits to the organization far surpasses your investment.

    Keep up the good work!

  162. Marie, I have saved this email in my inbox since Thanksgiving, not watching it, but knowing when the time was right I would watch it. Today I did. And you were so right on about gratitude journaling.
    I do use slightly different wording, starting sentences off with: I am truly grateful… I am blessed… I am so happy and grateful… this takes me a little deeper into my feelings and connects me to Source.
    I am truly grateful for my partner Fred, who gets my vitamins and water for me in the mornings and evenings helping me to be healthy.
    I am so blessed that Fred delights his soul by playing his saxophone and flute daily (which also delights my soul).
    I am so happy and grateful that even though we are both ‘lead’ dogs, and met in our 50’s that we work out day to day living in a way that is good for both of us.
    I am so grateful that we are still ‘in love’ after 7 years of commitment and 5 years of marriage.
    I am so blessed to have a partner who loves to laugh, play with words, and have so much fun.
    Kym with Fred

  163. Hi Marie,

    I started to apply these recommendations to my relationship and I love it. I took the test and I discover I rather prefer someone show me how they love trough acts of service than for example giving me gifts. I told my husband and now he is trying to change, 😉
    I am telling everybody about this, it is so useful and can save you so many disappointments!
    thanks for bringing it here.

  164. Dilara

    I dont need a test : I know, I am a quality time person 🙂 I feel loved when someone pays time for me, listens to me, shares ideas with me.. that is the best!

    • Kristin - Team Forleo

      Dilara, that’s great you’re so self-aware! The test was really eye-opening for me. I’m the “physical touch Kristin” in the video and I knew that love language was important to me, but didn’t realize how much it mattered until I took the quiz and saw how it took the top spot in my results 🙂

  165. I LOVE the love languages book and recommend it to everyone! Thanks for sharing it here. So cool you and your team use this. My LL are physical touch and words of affirmation. Sending your team a huge hug!!

  166. A great read and I really enjoyed reading this. I took the test and I am Words of Affirmation, like Linda I am also scared of what people will say but hopefully will have the courage to take in negative feedback/s. Thank you so much for this post!

  167. Micele

    My question is, What if your spouses love language is acts of service and you become physically unable to do this? Are you just tossed aside si ce you are no longer needed??

    • Gayla Drake

      In a bad relationship, possibly. But in a good one, where there is a real desire to connect and grow together, then perhaps one would find other ways to perform acts of service; and maybe the other person could open to another of their love languages, like words of affirmation or quality time. A genuine bond isn’t going to be broken by something like that. A superficial one very well could be.

  168. She is talking about Predicates found in Selling with NLP – which is every sales man’s sales bible.

    Kinesthetics, Auditories and Visionaries.
    feel, hear, see….

  169. Gayla Drake

    Quality time, which has GOT to be a rough one for employers to navigate, which may also be why I really never felt appreciated when I worked for somebody else. My boss asked me once, “How do I reward you for doing good work?” I laughed. “Time off.” She didn’t get it, but yes, that is EXACTLY what would have made me feel rewarded. Getting to go home and use my brain for something meaningful instead of doing that stupid job. And my BIG Core Desired Feeling is FREEDOM, so . . . I pretty much HAVE to work for myself!

  170. Hi, what a beautiful website. The book, “The 5 Languages of Appreciation” how long does it take to read? We are going to read it with our staff.

    Thank you, Jolene

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Great question, Jolene! It’s a fairly short book––under 5 hours on audiobook, so it doesn’t take too long. We hope you and your staff love it and find it as helpful as we have! 🙂

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