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Because, yeah, all about that bass, about that bass. Yes.
Hi there. It’s Marie Forleo and this is Marie TV, the place to be, to create a business and a life that you love. And this today is Q and A Tuesday, and today’s question, it comes from Laura and she writes, “Hello, Marie. I could go on forever about how much your work gives me little soul bumps that make me want to change. And while change usually comes along with pain, your advice creates a state in which I feel comfortable alive and just willing to live my adventure.” Awesome.
“Here’s my cue. I consider myself a highly intuitive and caring person. People trust me. I’m passionate about my life and my work and I’m currently back at Uni for my next career. While studying, I still have my full-time office job where people are constantly stressed out. It’s like they’re at war. They’re getting sick and often treat each other in a grumpy, unloving, and uncooperative way. My problem is I can only take negative vibes for so long. Then I lose contact with my fearless and loving self. My stomach hurts and my breathing stops feeling natural. What can I do to not let a bad atmosphere get me out of balance? Meditation, good food and enough sleep just don’t seem to do it. Thanks. Laura.”
Laura, this is an awesome question. There is a lot of pain in the world, and sometimes it’s our own. We can get angry, we can feel disappointed, we can feel like things are falling apart. And other times it’s other people’s pain, like the pain that you’re experiencing at work or maybe you watch the news and you see all of the war and injustice in the world.
So pain and suffering is a part of our life. Now the good news is that you don’t have to let it overwhelm you and it doesn’t have to force you to lose contact with the core essence of who you are. So I want to teach you this very simple and profound practice that I learned in my yoga class. And it’s something that you can do on the spot anytime that you feel like the pain gets to be too much. It’s the Buddhist meditation practice called Tonglen. This is super simple and super powerful. Plus it’s dual action, so it can help you heal your own pain and simultaneously heal the energetic vibe around you.
Dual action, energetic practice.
Here’s how it works. When you’re feeling pain or you’re witnessing pain around you, you breathe in the pain, you inhale it. If it’s your own pain, you want to remind yourself, millions of other people are experiencing this right now, just like you are. Whether you’re afraid, you’re insecure, you’re upset, remember, millions of other people are experiencing that same pain, as well.
Now if it’s other people’s pain that you’re witnessing, same thing applies. You want to remind yourself that tons of people all around the world are experiencing that pain, as well. The point is you want to inhale the pain for everyone. You want to breathe it in. Now when you exhale, you say something really simple, like may we all be free of this suffering. And the exhale is really about breathing out and sending everyone a sense of comfort and happiness and wellbeing.
What I love about this practice is that it’s so simple and you can do it anywhere and you can do it as many times as you need to. So if you find yourself on the street overwhelmed with pain, you can do it right there. You can do it in your office and you can even do it in your home. It really, really helps, first because it’s a way to be fully present with the pain and the suffering that actually exists, yours and the world’s. You’re not denying it, you’re not ignoring it. And most importantly, you’re recognizing that it’s universal. And the second reason I love it is because it helps you to keep your heart soft and deepen your compassion and stay connected to your humanity. And I really love what the Dalai Lama says about it because he does this practice every day. “Whether this meditation really helps others or not, it gives me peace of mind. Then I can be more effective and the benefit is immense.”
Finally, if you want to take this to the next level, here is some advanced Tonglen. Do this meditation on people that really trigger you, people that you don’t like or people that piss you off or people that you feel have caused you pain. Just imagine them having the same type of confusion and upset that you sometimes have. So you breathe in that pain and you breathe out a genuine hope for their peace and wellbeing. I think the thing that I love about this most, besides the fact that it’s so simple, is that it trains us to do the opposite of what most of us want to do, which is to get over our pain or get away from it or not look at it. It actually helps us to be courageous and compassionate, especially when we need it most.
So let’s land this plane on a tweetable. When you wish you could turn off the pain, tune into it instead. That was my 80 year Q, Laura. I really hope it helps. Now I would love to hear from you. Do you have a personal practice that helps you deal with pain and suffering in a more loving and compassionate way? I would love to know about it.
As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at marieforleo.com. So go there and leave a comment now. Did you like this video? If so, subscribe to my channel and it would be amazing if you shared this with all of your friends. I would so appreciate it, and if you want even more resources that’ll help you create a business and life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only talk about an email, come on over to marieforleo.com and sign up for email updates.
Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams, because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on Marie TV.
B-School is coming up. Want in? For more info and free training, go to joinbcchool.com. From the tippy, tippy, tippy, tippy, tippy, tippy top. That was a little much. None of us can get it together. I need to actually do Tonglen when I see pumpkins being smashed. Listen, the show is free, so.