Marie Forleo introduction


I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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We’ve had this episode shot and in our editorial calendar for a few months now.

I’m still in awe of how our advanced planning of MarieTV somehow seems to energetically line up with what’s happening globally, and very often on a personal level for you, our audience.

Even my close friends say, “Marie, how do you always seem to know exactly what I’m going through?!”

When you wish you could turn off the pain, tune into it instead. Click To Tweet

While this particular Q&A has to do with a pretty common human experience, I can’t help but notice that this simple practice may — albeit in the smallest way — help us as we collectively strive to create positive social change both here in the US and around the world.

Pain, suffering and injustice are all around us. Like you, I see things on the news that anger me, break my heart and boggle my mind (and not in a good way).

However, I believe the more tools we have in our toolbox to stay connected to our humanity, the more equipped we’ll be create real and lasting change.

So today, learn a simple tool you can use whenever the pain around you feels overwhelming.

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Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

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Now, I’d love to hear from you. Do you have a personal practice that helps you deal with pain and suffering in a more compassionate way?

Leave a comment below and let us know. Thousands of incredible souls visit us for insight and inspiration so thank you in advance for adding your voice to the conversation.

And just a few extra notes for today.

  1. If you have a personal practice, please detail it out in the comments vs. add links or other websites — which can start to look and feel spammy. Super appreciated.
  2. My request is to keep our focus in the comments on the topic of this episode, which is how to energetically handle a feeling of negativity when it seems to overwhelm you. A lot is happening here in the US right now (and honestly — a lot is happening around the world), and emotions are justifiably very high, for all of us. What we’re focusing on here is not a substitute for speaking up or taking the appropriate actions, whatever those may be for you. My intention is not to discourage any conversations or actions you may want to take personally or politically, but to invite you to do that in a way that feels true for you, on your own platform. My sincerest appreciation.

With so much love,


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  1. When I am working with clients, I always give people permission to feel the pain. So often, we experience pain and want to reject it. As I wrote in my book pain is a signal – it indicates a need for change. Yet, until you really feel it (instead of avoiding it), you can’t really get to the core of how to heal it.
    Once a client has tapped into what’s happening for them physically and emotionally, we talk about “paying it forward” – that is, what one thing CAN they do to ease the pain of someone else? Charity and generosity usually triggers a sense of compassion, peace, and joy in our own lives.

    • So agree. All emotions are signals. Whether happiness or pain, they allow us to tune into the offering of the present moment. And as I always like to say, you will never heal what you don’t acknowledge.

      • I like that, Emelia – “you will never heal what you don’t acknowledge” #truth

    • I agree Lisa that we must give “permission to feel the pain”. This was something I once struggled with as I avoided feelings like the plague.

      Once I learned how to give myself permission to feel the pain and even name the pain, the pain started to dissipate…almost as if it was a trouble child asking for attention and once received the pain no longer existed. Very powerful.

      Thanks Lisa & Marie!

      Brandy xo

    • GREAT Advice! I totally agree with you and the next time I’m being affected by a negative situation in which I can’t possibly escape, I’ll definitely try this method.

      As far as those who are negative and unhappy though, I wholeheartedly and with great intention avoid and ignore them, as I don’t want their negativity to have any influence on me whatsoever.

      I’ve worked in super negative environments (like Laura spoke of) but only for as long as it took me to realize the bad situation that I was in. The important thing is to speak up.

      Once, I spoke up and to my surprise, not only improved the situation for myself, but for everyone else I worked with. Whenever I’ve spoken up and not been able to improve the situation, I’ve soon found a new job.

      The worse thing for anyone to do in an ongoing negative or abusive situation, is to remain there when they don’t absolutely have to.

      • I go to a tranquil place in my life, where I was most at peace and relaxed being massaged by three people at once in the mountains of Colorado. “I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief…. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.” ~Wendell Berry, “The Peace of Wild Things”

        • Madison

          thanks for sharing that quote, Chas. <3

    • Thanks for this Marie. For years I’ve been taking my clients through a process that embrace the pain and actually goes into it. The pain not only dissipates as they look at it very closely, but they are able to get information for why it is there. I this new (to me) piece of having them embrace it as well for the world. And I love that it is so simple and quick and that we can do it anytime, anyplace and that it is a blessing to the world! Thank you!

    • For me writing and talking to my intuition are the best ways to release anguish, stress, fear or negativity.

  2. What a beautiful, inspiring video, Marie! I am a bit of an empath so negative energies can rally get me down sometimes. I can usually read it on my need to take a break. I love journaling out your emotions, stream of consciousness style. Meditating really helps, too! Wonderful timing 🙂

  3. You’re absolutely right, Marie. The news these past couple weeks have taken me through an emotional rollercoaster. To be totally honest, I’ve been so angry lately. *sigh*

    But, as always, I am on the EFT train and will advocate for it until my last breath, because it has helped me SOO much through break ups, the death of my cat, physical pain, sadness, feelings of unworthiness, fear of speaking publicly, forgiving my dad and myself, surrendering to the Universe, and so on. I used it to work through my feelings of anger these last few weeks and I am feeling much better. My last post talks about how to do it and provides some sample videos for some of the feelings that may come up during the holidays:

    I hope that you guys add it to your toolboxes for your clients and yourselves! It has been an absolute game changer for me. 🙂

    • Angela

      Just tried EFT for the first time yesterday. I didn’t experience a dramatic change yesterday but I can say that I woke up feeling more capable and willing to face somethings in my life that I’ve been avoiding.

      Thank you for sharing the link to your site. I just went through one of the tapping videos on your post and thought it was amazing. Exactly what I needed.

      Wishing you much success and joy!

      • Angela, I needed EFT yesterday, too, and even though I don’t have a consistent practice the times I’ve taken advantage of the tapping have helped me a lot. I didn’t realize Marie had shared a link to lead lucky people to that modality, but I’m glad she did. A gifted practitioner introduced me to it and that personal experience gave me confidence to continue. Hope it keeps helping you, too.

      • So happy to hear that it worked for you, Angela!

    • Biba,

      I am right there with you. These last couple of weeks have been emotionally tumultuous. I’ve had to grapple with my own hurt and anger and as an empath, take on all the confusion around me.

      Part of my healing process is to withdraw and delve in. What I can say about the “valley” is it has helped me figure out what I truly believe. I can talk a great spiritual game, but do I really believe it in the midst of my troubles…

      Haven’t tried EFT, but I can see how it would work. Like Tonglen, it’s all about transmuting the energy that’s already present. I suspect I will spend a lifetime refining my own process.

  4. Meditation and living in the present allows you to realign ANY negative perspective instantly. It’s something I live and die by now. Thanks Marie – great video as usual.

    • I totally agree with this Adam – I so often find myself living in (read: dreaming about) the future and have found mindfulness meditation really helps with bringing me back to the present as well as observing, permitting and then saying goodbye to negative thoughts.

  5. Love this Marie! I’ve done it in Yoga, but never thought to bring it to the day to day. Thanks for sharing the tip with us 🙂

  6. What a great practice Marie, thank you for sharing that with us.

    One thing that I’ve been doing recently is called focusing. It’s when you tune into your pain and allow it to grow in intensity. Yes we usually want to run away from the pain and not feel it more intensely. But once we give it some attention it does start to disperse. All you do is pay attention to what it feels like, describe it a little bit, then name the feeling if you have words for it. Get curious about what the pain might be about. You learn so much about what’s going on inside of yourself and often solve long standing problems. And when then the pain starts to disputes, is gone forever in most cases. If it does show up again, it’s less intesnse.

    • Ingrid, a kind of funny story…I decided to practice going into the pain while in the dentist’s chair recently. I knew what the shot to numb my gums would feel like and over the years I’d gotten more nervous about it rather than less. I decided to approach the experience with an attitude of curiosity so I could observe–or one could say focus on–the discomfort instead of resist and fear it. What a difference! I was relaxed and didn’t suffer at all. Of course, life brings more challenging circumstances than that and I like your approach for those experiences, too.

    • I like that, Ingrid. Thanks! When ever I get super stressed, fed-up, hurt etc I say “I forgive you, I love you, and I release you”. I have no idea where it came from. The I love you bit can be a challenge but the relief comes in actually saying it. Love this new new idea Marie, thank you!

  7. Brilliant as always!

  8. When I encounter someone that is grumpy, angry, malicious or just down right mean I take just a moment to remind myself that the negativity they are expressing on the outside is just a fraction of what they’re feeling on the inside.

    Knowing that instantly makes me feel compassion for them and what they must be going through. Then I simply wish them peace and move on my way.

    Just like Marie’s advice it seems so simple, but when practiced it is truly profound.

    • Michelle

      Thanks so much, Katie Lee. I just was reading something so very difficult to process, then saw this video, of course! The synchronicity with this group is always amazing. But none of the ideas or comments before were giving me that “oomph” to be able to comprehend this angry, bitter individual who simply cannot be reasoned with. Until I read your response. It is, truly, profound. Blessings.

  9. That is awesome! For me it’s defnitely dancing and singing – private mini concerts on my own do magic for me 🙂

  10. When something negative happens to me, I throw myself some compassion. I kiss my hand and touch my heart as a physical gesture, I allow it, feel it fully without the story of blame distracting me into suffering more. Then, It floats away without much effort. It is our negative judgments that make it all worse, with them, there is no work to letting go. It just happens. Hope this helps someone!
    <3 Jodi Aman

  11. So unpretensiously! You do well, Marie,

    My trick is to breathe and radiate love and accept for me, my thougths, on both of us, our dialoque, on the riots, dictators, their fear, anger and revenge. just breathe and radiate love and accept.

  12. Marie, thank you for sharing the practice of Tonglen! It’s a practice that has helped me tremendously. I’ve been breathing in and releasing out a bright, loving light as well. I say the words, “All that is not mine, I return to source.”

  13. Millions experiencing this right now. Great way to put it into perspective. I often get down from the pervasive negativity among so many. Thanks Marie, going to put this into practice today.

  14. I love this practice, Marie!

    Whatever changes I seek to make in my life, I always start with trying to increase my level of awareness. When it came to getting control of my finances, I increased my awareness by simply looking at my bank account and credit card every day. When it came to getting control of my exercise and eating habits, I increased my awareness of how my practices affected my body by simply weighing myself at the gym every day.

    Thus when I think about dealing with pain in a way that doesn’t get you wrapped up in frustration or anger or any (negative) emotion you’d rather not have course through you, I start thinking of solutions that help to increase my awareness of the pain in the first place. Tonglen will be a great practice to incorporate not only because it is (as you said) simple, but also because it increases your level of awareness.

    I’m a metrics person. I know there’s improvement when I see numbers saying such. I imagine I will try out Tonglen when it comes to sorting out frustrations that face me daily. I think in addition to trying out Tonglen, I will also assign a number to how much pain I felt before and how much pain I feel afterward and probably keep track of it in a notebook of some kind.

    Anyway, I feel that having some kind of metric will further increase your awareness and help you on the path to dealing with pain in a more compassionate way.

  15. It’s really all about deciding on whether the glass is half empty or three quarters full. I’ve gone through some horrific experiences and harnessed the energy to create a YouTube channel that inspires and entertains about dating, sex, love & everything in-between. I realize Marie requested no spammy videos but this one tells my story. A Cougar’s View About Life By KarenLee Poter

  16. Jo

    I like to take extra care of myself when I’m in pain. Just a moment to be by myself, to light a candle, or even better a real fire. To prepare a favourite dish, or just a warm or comforting drink. To take a moment to reach out to a friend I haven’t spoken to for a while.
    Often, when I feel in pain I realise that I’ve moved too far away from these basic necessitites of life and getting back in touch with them always helps.
    Thanks Marie!

  17. For highly Intuitive people Empathic Sensitivity is a real challenge. I am an Empath – someone who can feel the emotions, feelings and thoughts of others. It is very useful in my energy coaching practice but if you don’t know how to release it – it can be super uncomfortable.

    When we are triggered with empathic sensitivity – it’s an indicator that we have information for someone who is energetically ‘dumping on you.’ It’s like you’re a magnet for it because you have the information they’re looking for. Knowing how to effectively send that information and release the energy can – to be blunt – change your life.

    I work with highly sensitive clients around this all the time. It’s kinda my thing – as of late 😉

    Happy Holidays everyone! 🙂

  18. This is absolutely perfect! I’m a INFJ and often feel overwhelmed by all the negative energy out there in the world. Sometimes I just want to crawl into a ball, snuggle with my dogs, and shut out the world. But, that would not be the genuine me.

    I started deep breathing exercises back when I started following Tony Robbins years ago. Thanks for bringing it full-circle!

  19. Such a great video today! And so necessary! I try to step back and put myself in someone else’s shoes. Case and point-we are arranging to move my in-laws to assisted living. One is ready and the other is angry but I keep thinking, he went out to vote and totaled his car and now is being moved. That is a lot of pain to deal with, it’s scary. Putting myself directly in their shoes, helps me pray for them and have compassion. I really like the idea of breathing in and having it translate to more compassion. Very very good!

  20. There is something to be said for addressing our emotions (even the negative ones) – and seeking the value in it. How is this helping you grow or learn, or what might it be prompting you to change or tweak in your life?
    This is what enables us to move forward in a healthy way (rather than pretending-it-away or bottling it up.)

    When others around me are causing some kind of pain, I try to remember it’s usually a reflection of something going on inside of them – something they haven’t yet addressed fully. It’s not personal.

    Then, when need be, I like to establish some healthy boundaries, while sending them those good vibes. I like this (new-to-me) method for doing so! Kudos for the insights 🙂

  21. Very timely Marie, thank you.

    The pain I help my clients through really isn’t an external world pain but more an internal not good enough pain. The underlying pin of what I do is to build confidence and courage.

    I have created a free 10 minute tapping (EFT) audio titled “I Am Enough” that I am giving away to all of my subscribers at the end of this week, so if anyone has this as an internal pain (fear) then please by all means head to my website and join the mailing list so you can get this audio free of charge.

    I really find tapping to be the best way for me to shift negative energy around me, but I’ll be trying Tonglen in a couple of minutes before I head to bed.

  22. I had never heard of Tonglen before and appreciate the insight. I feel like this technique will be quite helpful for me going forward!

  23. Love it! Love it! Love it!!! What a great advice, and thank you for sharing it. I usually do a certain type of breathing called breathing from the heart. I have one hand over my stomach and the other over my heart. The hand around the stomach stays there in the beginning to help me focus on getting my deep breaths into that area, and the hand over my heart reminds me to be grateful for my breath and be kind to my precious heart. So next time, I’ll incorporate your advice from this video. With gratitude, Tanya

  24. Thanks to EFT, I learned the value of owning my pains and negative feelings without the need to judge them. I also learned and make use of the power of choosing self-love in that moment. I was taught, unconsciously of course, to see myself as unworthy when I was in pain of any sort. So the conscious choice to love myself has been an important ingredient in transmuting pain and negative energies. After practicing the choice to love myself for awhile, I realized that the desire to love oneself is born from love of oneself, so we cannot fail at self-love. How cool it is to know we were hard-wired to succeed!

  25. Wow!!! Just what I have been trying to express to my friends…while it isn’t my goal to stay in the negative energy…I do acknowledge it, breathe it in…and then ask for God’s help! Similar to what you do…and then, I add some tapping to make sure I stay in a peaceful frame of mind.
    I hope you keep making these Tuesday Marie TV episodes…because they are always greeted with joyful anticipation in my world!
    I love you! Can’t wait to meet you, someday!

  26. It’s super important when we feel emotional pain to take responsibility. We must understand why we attracted into our environment (like the person asking the Q) or why we are feeling it within ourselves. Negative environments will only bother us if they are resonating to something within us. It’s NEVER about what’s around us- that only serves as a mirror to what is going on inside.

    I’m a highly sensitive being. By doing this practice, I’ve been able to go into more environments that I used to avoid. This IS SO POWERFUL to get the wisdom of why we attract pain into our lives. We have a part in creating it. We can also transmute it!

    • kt

      I believe that we can transmute our pain, yes, but I don’t believe that we always have a part in attracting it into our environment. Think of Malala — did she invite being shot? Or the teenage kids in Pakistan who were killed today in this attack on the school. Or the woman who has a miscarriage, or the person who gets cancer.

      In some ways we want to think that we invited it because then if we just “act right” we won’t have any pain. We can always blame our pain on some wrong action, “attracting it into our environment”. But that really only works for the privileged and the old. If you’re a child in Syria, it’s the fault of your society and your ancestors. No seven-year-old can be blamed for the death of their parents through illness or war. We can all take part in transmuting our pain — even a child can create an extraordinary response, like Malala. But we must recognize that even a saint can end up in a war zone or in terrible physical health.

  27. Yes! This was super helpful, thank you so much for sharing this exercise with us Marie. We’ve been having all of these tough conversations around the state of the world, and this I know is going to help us have those conversations but be able to end them without feeling devastated.

    As always, your voice and message is so spot on, and I still love these “solo Marie” episodes the most! 🙂

  28. Thanks a lot.
    During this video I could just release some pain and sadness inside me. Just by looking it in the eyes. Feel more peace now.

    Meditation is of course also a great way to be free, but the every day life just wins sometimes.
    One of the greatest Meditation I know and can recommend it as Coach and Therapist to everyone is this:

    Valentina Levant

  29. Shante

    I enjoyed this video…I shared it on pinterest…because I believe these are helpful tips to be put into practice..anywhere

  30. Wow! Synchronicity keeps on keeping on — I created a video on my YouTube channel, sharing my own experience of Tonglen on the other week.

    This is a powerful practice and I highly recommend everyone try it as Marie shared today!

    You can find more resources for this practice in my Blissed TV episode here:

  31. Jenny

    I am a volunteer for Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, an volunteer organization that provides the gift of portraiture for families whose babies will never leave the hospital. Often, I am called to the hospital to photograph stillborn babies.

    I stopped editing one of these sessions to watch this episode. It couldn’t have been more perfectly timed. The idea of breathing in the pain of others is new to me. I did it right away and felt a difference. I am going to share it with my fellow volunteers.

    Thank you for sharing this.


  32. Every day a woman walks by the window of my salon in Halifax. She is profoundly disabled physically, blind and deaf. She is always accompanied by someone to help her and she looks like she is struggling in the worst possible way. When I see her I feel what I think is her pain. I feel sorrow and sorry for her. I feel uncomfortable and wish her life were not so difficult.
    Then I had the chance to see the same woman, sitting on a blanket in the sand, on a sunny day at the beach. She was knitting and smiling. Then she was escorted to the ocean where she splashed in the waves, laughing and feeling pure joy, the way I do.
    I immediately thought ‘Who am I to feel sorry for someone who’s life may be more difficult but not less joyous than mine?
    Now when I see her all I see is a woman who is full of joy and has the ability to take on life’s challenges.
    I have learned to not project my feelings of pain or discomfort on others but instead look for joy. She taught me this.

    • Jodi

      Fred, that’s a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it.

      • Fred,
        It was so nice to see your name here. Thanks for posting this. It really helped me today!

    • What an incredible story! Thank you for sharing – I so often feel that way. Now I will remember that woman laughing in the ocean and feel others capacity for joy instead. Thank you!

    • Fred – you are a treasure for sharing this. Your words and insights are sermon and ballad about life; the life that is journey, mountain, valley and sun at different times and in different ways for each and every one of us. In the past, I worked as therapist for abused and neglected children, along with their parents, who were invariably abused and neglected children in their own past lives. I breathed in their pain everyday, and together, we worked on breathing it out. The truth is, the kids already had it sorted. In the mix of the shit and the muck, their innate lean toward JOY never left them. Observing their blueprint to thriving is something that sits at the top of my tool kit today. Breathe the pain out, and always, always, look for joy. Thank you Fred. Thank you Marie. A profound Q&A Tuesday today.

    • Azzy

      Thanks for sharing your story, It helped me get over a unhealthy emotion.

      You reminded me not to project our feelings on others.

      Thanks again

  33. Thanks for sharing Marie!

    I have not heard of this meditation before and I am excited to give it a try. One thing that I thought while watching this video is how vast the world of meditation is. I was just wrapping up a guest post on meditation and in my take away I spoke of how many options there are for meditation and finding the one that works for you in any given situation.

    I also love that you said that anyone can do this meditation anywhere because that is one thing I love about meditation – it can be done anywhere, anytime and for a time you have available or that you choose.

    Brandy xo

  34. Angelo Rivera

    When experiencing pain I remind myself its a natural emotion.I then proceed to try and realize the source i.e is it my ego that is insulted or am i feeling pain because of an inability to resolve it for myself or others. My best remedy us connecting to the source and meditating in silence for the answers,the most logical and rational answers Lways ,at least I believe so come to me at that time. Quieting the conscious mind and allowing the subconscious to take over.

  35. Divine Time! I just came home from my children’s school and was speaking with another parent after the bell had rung. We then witnessed a 5yr old acting completely out of control. He was outside with a just a t-shirt on and it’s zero degrees. A teacher then got him in the corridor where he was kicking and screaming. Two teachers and the principal tried to calm him. He was sweating so much he steamed up the glass door as he went up against it. I was informed he was a foster child. He had been abused in his previous home. I was very emotional to think how much this little boy must hurt and not be able to express his emotions in a healthy way, and for what he possibly must have gone through. I took it on and it drained me! I am an empowerment coach in training and began to wonder how am I ever going to coach full time if this instance drains me?? So I dug in my tool box. I knew I had to release this and I was asking for divine intelligence to bring me solutions. I started with sending out love and peace to this boy and visualizing him in a calmer state. 30 minutes later I received this video and I am now using it!!! I love when you ask the answers will come. Thank you! Feeling much better.:)

  36. I loved this video! There must be some weird universal drive around this as today I have a post about meditation and mindfulness going onto my blog too! Maybe we are all just a bit overwhelmed with a pre-Christmas preparations and our trying to help ourselves and others through them in a peaceful, loving way.

    I love meditating to Kristin Neff’s self-compassion meditations. They really make me feel calm and present, and they also remind me that I need to feel compassionate toward myself before being able to be fully compassionate towards others. I’ve also used one of her meditations which deals with difficult emotions so that’s very aligned with what you’re saying here – really love it!

  37. Lisa A

    I believe if you are loving, centered, and grounded internally, then things outside won’t cause such turmoil for you. I’m an empath, like many others, but I’ve been listening to John Holland and James Van Praagh speak about how to handle it. They basically say that you have an aura radiating out so many feet and you need to bring it back in. You can ask for assistance (universe, angels, or whatever works for you) to help bring it back closer to your body. This tip has helped me, but also a lot of my friends. We are compassionate, understanding, and helpful but we don’t feel all the excess negative energy anymore. As soon as I see trouble, I’m able to send out constructive prayers that are helpful to others instead of dwelling on the situation unfolding. I ask for everyone to be the best they can be. Ultimately, that allows me to be at my best and I believe it’s a healthier approach for everyone.

  38. Brenda

    Beginners may want to observe the pain but also allow it to flow through their feet into the earth to be changed for the greater good. Then breathe out energy to be used for the greater good (what we think is positive isn’t always what is needed).

    I like to put one hand on my heart and feel the warmth of my hand meet the warmth from my heart. Next, allow your hand to follow your breath without trying to change it. Finally, allow your eyes to float up as you breathe in and relax down as you breathe out.

  39. Julieta


    Such a good post!

    I believe we all are going to have a similar response to this post, because we can only change ourselves.

    When I am stuck dealing with my own pain and others, especially around negative people (where you can almost see the negativity come alive) I pray.

    It is as simple as your advice. I take to the light the fact that they are going through a painfull lesson in life, that they don’t know how to deal with it. So I pray (you can also wish, desire, hope) that they receive the love, compassion and knowledge they need in this moment.

    We have to remember that we are teachers, students and growing humans, pain just come when we don’t want to accept and transform the natural experiences that we have to live for our own good. In others words, when we are in “resistance mode”.

  40. Kristina

    Such a great topic Marie! I learned about tonglen from Pema Chödrön´s book “When everything falls apart…”, which I can highly recommend. Just reading her words tunes me into that calm and compassionate voice that makes me convinced that we really can heal and learn more from inviting the pain and BREATHING with it. I also recommend a visit to Gabby Bernstein´s website for some more helpful guided meditations on the same theme….(release, witness your fear and honoring yourself). If more people learn about these techniques the world truly can be a better place in so many ways. Peace and blessings to you Marie and everyone visiting this site! Kristina

  41. I also learn so much in my yoga class and I heard a teacher tell this story once about a great king and his minister. The king wanted all of history to be recorded in writing so he could learn from all that has happened. The minister went on to document history and after 10 yrs came to the king with many volumes. The king was so busy he asked his minister to condense it, 10 years later he was down to a few volumes. The king was still busy dealing with war and poverty and had no time. He asked his minster to condense it more. The minister came back 10 years later with 1 volume, but of course there were still so many things to do so the king demanded a shorter version. The minister went to work and a few years later was able to turn it into a few pages but now the king was on his deathbed and sickly, so the king needed maybe just a page as he had no energy. A day later the minister returned, the king was dying and with one sentence on the page and the king asked him to read it for him, and it said… People suffer.

    Kind of a long story but this is it, the human experience is suffering. We get to sit at our computers and watch a video once a week, and go to yoga class and meditate but out there people are suffering, for real!

  42. Michelle

    This is the story of my life at work! Thanks so much!

  43. I loved this episode, thanks Marie. My family and I have been watching what is going on in the US with a mixture of sadness and utter frustration.
    Pain is tough to deal with. I repeat the mantra ‘I’m sorry, I forgive you. I love you.’ Works wonders for me. Those words can relate to many different painful situations – you may need to forgive someone else or yourself. You may need to love someone else, or be reminded to love yourself and you can be sorry for someone else or be apologetic for something you have done that hurt someone else. I have to say it from my soul though, or it doesn’t count!!

  44. Kelly V.

    Hi Marie,
    Right now, my boyfriend is accusing me of trying to “fix” him. I feel confused by this. I wonder why he presents fixable problems, and when I give him advice that his mother, as it turns out, already gave him, (which is common) he appreciates it, but sometimes, he balks and feels insulted, but never tells me at the time. I get displaced angry from him later, and our relationship gets toxic. I love getting advice from friends who I trust have my back! Also, because he sometimes loves my advice, and other times resents it, I never know when to just act understanding, or when he’s looking for solutions as well (personally, I like both, so I tend to give both). I like your meditation presented here, but do you have any suggestions for these confusing situations?
    Thanks so much for what you do and who you are!

    • Hi Kelly,

      It sounds like you are in a difficult situation with your boyfriend. I know myself how it is to fight against getting advice. Especially in the past, it made me feel bad about myself when someone else told me what to do. I interpreted the situation as being put in an inferior position compared to the person who gives advice to me. I felt threatened in my self-worth, judged, and I thought that something was wrong with me (which is why I was given advice – at least I thought so).

      Maybe, your boyfriend feels similar, whenever you try to give him advice. What I suggest you to do is, next time when he presents a personal problem or issue to you, to just listen, understand and empathize. Show him that you are there for him and you support him no matter what. If you want, you can ask him questions that a) show your interest in his topics and b) evoke positive emotions inside of him. Like this, you make him feel good about himself and his self-worth and he notices that he has a good, positive experience when he shares personal stuff with you. Additionally, if you want to give advice, first ask him, whether he is open for some, ask for permission. Then wait for his feed back and take action accordingly.

      Good luck!

  45. Jodi

    Boy, people just can’t resist advertising their own stuff in comments here, can they? Thank you, Marie, for at least requesting that they stop.

    I think the practice you described sounds wonderful, and I’m glad you covered it. I actually read about it a couple years back in a book I highly recommend: Search Inside Yourself: The Unexpected Path to Achieving Success, Happiness (and World Peace) by Chade-Meng Tan. For some reason I just haven’t thought to try this, but now that you’ve reminded me about it, I will do so.

    Another practice I picked up from the same book and use often, and do find a lot of value from, is to silently wish people happiness, particularly when I’m irritated with them. Like if someone cuts me off in traffic and my initial reaction is to cuss at them, I try to catch myself and instead silently say to the driver, “I wish you happiness.” Similar idea to the Tonglen, in a way. It helps me feel so much happier rather than angry. Of course, there’s more to it than that, which Tan describes wonderfully in his book.

  46. Hi Marie,

    This is apt for me right now. I’m trying to avoid pain and so by doing the breathing exercise hopefully it will help me to feel and release the pain instead. x

  47. Pain gives us an opportunity to grow as well. It’s a signal to us that thee is something wrong going on in our life and we need to fix it. We then improve in the process. It also helps us to gain an understanding of other people and the things that they go through. We can then use this understanding to help others.

  48. WORD! that’s IT. <3

  49. As a Christian I believe that these burdens aren’t ours to carry, but that we’re feeling these things to pray for others specifically and with compassion (really similar to this Tonglen practice.) There’s a book by Beni Johnson called “The Joyful Intercessor” that goes into this in detail. It’s been super helpful to me because I’m definitely a “feeler.” I always feel so influenced by atmospheres and environments, but am in the process of learning how to release the opposite spirit and be an encourager in the midst of oppression. Thanks for giving us the chance to share!

  50. Oh fantastic practical exercise Marie! Definitely will be doing this. Especially right now as I lost a dear friend to death this past weekend.

    Thanks so much for telling me about Ton glen!
    For me my attitude is real vital. I once heard some very wise words from a holy man, that I apply to my life.

    The words were these. The cross is heavy for those who drag it, light for those who embrace it.

    Love your ‘wisdom biscuits!’

    Catherine Meyers

  51. Aloha Marie,
    Do you know who Paul Scheele is? I’ve been doing his Paraliminals and find them very very helpful.
    Going thru major life changes and could easily lose my neurotic mind! Divorce, putting my beautiful brilliant German Shepherd service dog to sleep, losing the equity of the home my husband and I have been building for the past 10 years (CastleInHawaii) due to Madame Pele threatening our village of Pahoa. Also listen to Louise Hay’s 101 Power Thoughts for Life! These positive affirmations are awesome. So I wrote a screenplay 108 pages and now trying to see if anyone is interested. So mahalo for your good works and also for letting me share! Sheri

  52. Hi Marie,

    Love your description of to glen. Reminds me of my own go-to work, which is called “the Work” of Byron Katie. It also involves having all your judgements about everything and everyone, but working to find out the truth of your own experience.

    Katie is the real deal.
    So are you

    • Jodi

      Byron Katie!! Tracy, thank you! I had some of her material years ago and found it so helpful, then lost the materials and couldn’t remember her name. I’ve been wanting to look back at her stuff recently and wishing I could access it, and as soon as I read your comment, it rang a bell so I checked and that is who I was looking for. 🙂

  53. L. David Ryals

    Great Show and so needed, right now! When the negative feelings happen, I do two things. I remind myself: “Be here in this moment.” That stifles the urge to mentally flee the situation. And second: I remind myself: “This is happening!” Again, stymieing the urge to mentally flee and be anywhere but the present moment. While I am doing those things, I do an inventory of what I am feeling. Is it fear? Anxiety? Am I extremely uncomfortable in this situation? Being able to identify what’s going on inside helps me get a handle on it. It also reinforces that I can endure unpleasant emotions/feelings and the world won’t crumble.

  54. Perfectly timed Marie, thank you SO much for this suggestion. I will definitely incorporate this into my morning practice!

  55. Thanks so much, Marie, for this!

    Me? I didn’t get this meditation yet – I heard of it, read about it, it makes some sense, but not enough to engage me.

    I’ll keep diggin’ 😉

  56. David C Belgray

    Dear Marie,

    I’ve sent e-mails to Mayor DeBlasio and Commissioner Bratton offering my services to either set up and/or establish a program for training the cops.
    It’s probably lost in the morass of e-mails. I’ve done a lot of this work previously, in my anger management program, and that’s probably why the John Stewart show invited me on about 6 years ago. Other than putting a letter into the mail -ugh! – any suggestions?

  57. Loved this post, Marie- thanks.

    When it comes to energy vampires or crazy makers, one technique I use is to step back, detach, and think to myself- “hmmm, isn’t that interesting? There he/she goes again with (X behavior)”.

    Understanding that it isn’t about me goes a very long way toward allowing myself to notice and accept the negative energy of others without absorbing it and allowing it to shake up my own world.

    Obviously there are atrocities in this world that are incredibly painful for all (most?) of us… Doing what we can to make a difference (by donating, peacefully demonstrating, volunteering or getting otherwise involved) is imperative- we can’t always detach- but I believe it is also imperative to understand where acceptance is needed and where action is warranted.

    Of course- by doing our part to bring peace into the world we are already- and always- making a difference.

  58. Thank you thank you thank you for this great advice!, you made mi day.


  59. I was usually tying to avoid pain, but what you persist insists, they say! I’ll try to confront and engage with my pain. Thank you Marie!

  60. Marina

    Hello everyone! Whenever I get angry with someone, I do what I’ve learned from Sonia Ricotti: I repeat as many times as needed “Always come from a place of love”. It helps every time! =)

  61. Andrea D'Ambrosia

    This is really beautiful, Marie! Thanks for sharing this wisdom.

  62. Nicole Eleazar

    Perhaps, she has both jobs because she has one foot in and one foot out of that attachment to the pain. Perhaps it would give her strength to believe that every difficult moment is a blessing, as it is a chance for her to grow. We wake up very slowly. She has made so much much progress. Her unconsciousness is slipping away and she’s almost awake. Thank you God for those final pushes.

  63. Nathalie

    I find this is a good practice.
    Recently I got all worked up and upset over a client not doing her work.
    So finally I laid it all on the table and said I feel that maybe you need more time because the behavior I am witness are one of resistance.
    I don’t feel its fair that you ( the client) keep paying for a service nor that I repeating myself because the work is not done- taking up both of your valuable time.

    She was really token back and upset that I didn’t want to continue working with her -despite letting her know she can come back anytime -she lost it- starting getting snappy with me and actually very abusive and patronize-

    Saying I was a just a kid who didn’t know what I was doing ( the client is 64-I am 32). I was sitting trying to not in return snap at her.
    But trust me that mantra – I was trying to sit still – I literally needed to hold on to my chair so I won’t stand up and let her have it.

    It effected me so much I actually not only felt sick afterward but got ill with a flu.

    I realized by bitting the bullet and not addressing the situation sooner- I contributed to this event- so I decided in the future I was going to nip this in butt earlier-by saying something sooner.

    I later emailed this client in question-when I was better.
    In the email I admitted that I should have brought this up sooner and basically I think she is needs to do her work and I don’t tolerate this type of behavior. She emailed me back with an apology and wants to work with me again.

    To be 100% honest although I don’t know if I want to work with her again.
    In all of my clients – she was worst to the point where I am not sure if I would refer her to anyone.

    I know it sound terrible to speak because “I do believe that anyone can be help, change and grow-but only if they decide to help themselve.”
    So I said I am booked up for 3 months already, which is partly true because I have new project I started on that is taking up her original time spot, and that she should get back to me in 3 months and we can evaluate then if it would be a good fit. What a day!
    I am thinking as well to put more measures in place, like an more detail assessment to screen out clients that are not ready- and try to really focus on ideal clients target. I don’t want to experience this ever again.

  64. This makes me think of the poem called ‘The Guest House’ by Rumi which is about inviting emotion in as though the emotions are guests being welcomed. It is sometimes so easy to run away from our pain, rather than acknowledge and accept in and let it move through. One way I deal with pain is to notice where it is showing up in my body and notice the sensations and through being totally present to let it subside. I also make sure I am not plugged into news media all the time. Thanks Marie!

  65. Ana

    Thank you for the video.
    My personal practice for dealing with suffering and pain is to focuse on my inner peace – trying to find out where I am spiritually and then try to inhale “peace” (I actually say this word or mean it) and exhale thinking “relaxation” and just relaxing, feeling how my whole body gets lighter. You can also count your breaths, starting 21 inhale, 21 exhale, 20 inhale, 20 exhale, you count like this till you get to inhale 1, exhale 1, inhale 0, exhale 0. The important thing is to give all of your attention to simply breathing.
    What are the consequences of this exercise, you will feel clearer in your head, your eyes will feel more relaxed, the pain and/or blockages will vanish. I wish to all of you who are reading this inner peace and wellbeing!

  66. Maria Belloso

    To ease pain I use OSHO Meditative Therapy CD: Reminding Yourself of the Forgotten Language of Talking to Your BodyMind….is Awesome!

  67. T

    Good episode. That dress makes me smile though. Am I the only one who thinks it looks like a cheerleader outfit? 🙂 I guess that could work. Marie is a good life cheerleader!

  68. Love this! I haven’t heard of it before… which surprises me cause I’ve been doing yoga for a long time! Guess I just haven’t happened to find a teacher that does that. Anyway… I’ll definitely try this out, since there are some days where I very much so need it. 😉

  69. Thank you so much for this Video! Exactly what i needed right now. I will try it out AT ONCE and for the whole day. But i am already pretty sure it will work. Thanks Marie!

  70. Lea

    Dear Marie, I loved this episode. I recently learned how to lean my entire body into a tree, any tree, and release my worry, fears, and pain into the tree. The tree takes these painful feelings and emotions in like carbon dioxide and transforms them. More than any other being on this planet, trees match our human luminosity and are here to help us in more ways than to just making oxygen. And now, when I am in a situation where this isn’t a tree around, I now have this new practice. Thank you so much!

  71. Doug

    Marie, I just love your approach here, from your video to the admonitions concerning comments. You’re awesome! Thank you!!!!!

  72. LOVE IT! This one is for you:
    how to release old stuff & heavy off your shoulders… enjoy, JyotiMa

  73. Perfect timing with this episode! Just opened an e-mail with a disappointing message in it and needed the inspiration to carry through on my own coping method since today has been a challenging one.

    My method is simple. When I feel like reacting to a situation or correspondence instead of responding, I use the mantra “Do Not Engage” and repeat until the urge to react emotionally to the information has passed.

    Usually this provides a moment to clear an intense emotional reaction, providing clarity and an opportunity to provide a response that will be more helpful to myself and the recipient.

  74. So Funny and Awesome! I just wrote about this on FB today!! Coincidence…I think not. You are so right on!

    This is how it went for me this morning:
    There was a time (last week maybe LOL) when people’s stupidity aka (for this example) “Road Rage” would cause me to have thoughts like: WTF is wrong with these people? Do they not realize how ridiculous and idiotic they look? Or how much F’d up – unnecessary negative karma they are creating? Which of course will boggle their mind when it catches up to them – throwing them into a (((why me)))episode. YES that’s how it works.

    Today – I see this Road Raging Nut Bag and my thoughts are different. I think wow. Followed by – I know deeply that we are One. So…this means that she is me and I am her. How does thinking WTF is wrong with her help? So instead I imagine giving her a hug and mentally telling her it’s ok…everything is going to be ok. Slow down love. You will get there when you get there. I wish you peace today and everyday that follows…
    Not sure if she felt it or feels better but shoot I feel GREAT!
    Try it next time you are faced with stupid, idiotic, ridiculous, behavior. It might just change our world for the better. And if it doesn’t – It sure will make you feel at peace. Cross my heart.

    Same basic concept. 🙂
    Thank you Marie…You are Awesome!
    I LOVE Q&A Tuesday!!

  75. My number 1 practice for transforming pain into its opposite is Authentic Movement. It’s similar to mediation only with movement. Its extremely useful for me b/c I really need to be physical and move/give shape and form to my emotions.

    In instances where I can’t do this or its not socially appropriate (eg at work), I do the breath technique Marie demonstrates here…though I never new there was a name for it. Thanks so much for sharing.

  76. Crazy synchronicity! I started this method two months ago to boost my self-compassion, too, and it works like magic. The researcher Kristin Neff argues that when you make a compassionate gesture towards yourself, like putting your hand above your heart or on your cheek, you strengthen the connection even more. She also recommends in stressful situation to check in with yourself first and then with those around you.
    Try it!!!

  77. This was an awesome episode, Marie! Thank you for sharing. This happens to me when I have a a negative exchange with a client, and I take it all into my being and then I feel sick and I don’t know how to release it back into the earth. this breathing exercise will definitely help. Thank you sooo much!

  78. This was the perfect day to find this information in my inbox! I’m feeling super negative today and am often surrounded by people with a very pessimistic view on life, so this is extremely helpful. Usually I try to distant myself from the problem by leaving the room etc but it definitely never helps. Thanks so much!!

  79. pure gold!
    we love you!

  80. Hi Marie,

    How do you always make your backdrops looks so nice, and what type of camera do you use?

    Your videos always look so great. 🙂

    (Plus you’re a total hottie so that helps too). 😉

  81. Blow it (or them) off!
    Love it! 🙂

  82. odile

    Marie I live your video. I had learned tonglen with buddhist but I was not convinced , the way you explain it and show it , it is so simple I love it and I am going to do it for sure . For the moment i do loving kindness meditation ” may i be happy and weel , and may you be happy and well adressed to anyone you wish specific or general ” but tonglen is very good because it invites us to tune into the pain , just LOVE IT ! 😉

  83. Love this Marie! Will definitely use this at work straight away. Sometimes it’s easy to get ‘sucked in’ with negative things, so why not suck them in and then release them. Thank you!

  84. Regina

    great suggestion to practice. I also use this forgiveness mantra. Ho’oponopono Mantra
    I am sorry
    Please forgive me.
    I love you
    Thank you

  85. Valerie

    Less than an hour after watching this video I received a phone call that a dear uncle of mine passed away this morning. The universe surely works in mysterious ways and I am so grateful for you, Marie Forleo, the work you do and the attention to this exact topic your show brought today. I have had a history of avoiding feelings – especially those that revolve around loss – and my usual M.O. has been to turn to anything but dealing with those pesky feelings and covering them up with all sorts of “avoidance” mechanism (i.e. wine and cookies). With this simple yet ingenious meditative tool you’ve so eloquently discussed I know I’m on a better path for handling what has happened today, over the next week and whatever else life throws my way… it’s not meant to be easy, right? Thanks again.

  86. Great episode as usual Marie!
    What you said resonated for different reasons. I’m gonna try and be succint 😉

    Society tries to make us suppress our feelings. Emotion is viewed as an enemy. But bottled up, we become time bombs! So allowing ourselves to feel a negative feeling is good.
    But instead of becoming overwhelmed by it, we meditate or…
    As I learned from Dr Alan Watkins, when we feel stressed or unsettled or under pressure, what happens in our physiology is that we breathe shallow and irregularly. The result is that our heart rate is all over the place and our brain functions reduced. He’s got a very interesting demonstration of that on a Ted Talk he did called ‘Being brilliant every single day’ (in 2 part).
    The solution is to breathe rhythmically and from the heart.
    This insight has been invaluable to me!

  87. I love this! I rarely use tonglen, but have in the past and always find that I feel more calm and relaxed after doing it. I’m going to pull it out of my bag of tricks more frequently (and maybe even use it with my clients!). I also find EFT helpful in tuning into those “negative” emotions. So important to breathe in the negative and let those emotions flow through us rather than resisting them. Feeling the negative really is the gateway to the positive.

  88. Nancy

    Hi Marie,
    Love this segment. I go so much out of it. All video’s are so informative and inspirational.

    Marie, I love your style! Can you share with us when you post your video’s what you are wearing and what brand. You are so perfect.

  89. Ludmila

    My God! I loved this video! It’s just what I needed! I’ve been dealing with all of that and for sure this helped me
    Thank you

  90. Kim

    I have been stuck with certain emotions lately. They come back to haunt me. I like this idea. Am going to put it to use now. Thank you Marie.

  91. Melinda

    Hi Marie – this is so perfect for the wave of New Year growth bubbles that I am experiencing.

    My absolutely necessary way of dealing with this ‘pain’ is Laura Hames Franklin’s program Wholly Shift. It is life and business changing and really allows you to tap into the beauty of yourself even when things feel bumpy!


  92. I use the So Darshan Chakra Kriya DAILY, which is an alternate nose -breathing, breath retention, organ toning, internal mantra and physical release meditation exercise. I find that its been excellent in helping me acknowledge and release experiences that impair my body-mind-spirits natural peak performance.
    I learned it from this video:
    It’s changed my life. Literally.

  93. Jessica

    I’m not sure if anyone has said this yet. But as a sensitive myself, and growing up around a very negative parent, look for ways to fill your life with as much “positive experience” as possible. Even if you breathe in the pain and wish for peace, it doesn’t mean those people at work will change. That would be great if they did, but it could take a while. Or…it may never happen. You might change and feel a little better However, wouldn’t it be ultimately better to just find a new job with a more positive environment, instead of the battle of it possibly making you sick? Ask for something like that when you breathe out too. Because I know I, at some level, carry things that are not mine to carry. I didn’t create them and they aren’t my emotions or energy. Life is just more fun if you ask for those who are your people to show up…. and you deserve it! Breathe in the pain…and pray for peace and then ask for something better. (I need this advice myself at times, so this is perfert.) Thanks, Marie!

  94. Right on time, Marie, thanks for the inspiration!

  95. Honestly a very well timed video for me personally. Thanks for this Marie. I always keep a poster of the solar system that I will regularly look at that makes me remember how small we are and how any negative thoughts and issues really don’t matter.

    Probably a bit unprofessional but you look freaking stunning in this video!


  96. lucia

    Sometimes we don’t get over that negative vibe but we need to resist &think positive as you well expressed. Practicing prayer helps as well ” I CHOOSE TO TRANSFORM ANY NEGATIVE ENERGY OR INTENTIONS I ENCOUNTER, FROM ANY SOURCE, TO THE FREQUENCY OF PERFECT DIVINE LOVE AND FORGIVENESS AND RETURN IT TO ITS SOURCE”.

  97. Hi Marie,
    From reading the comments, it sounds like your video on tonglen has positively effected many of your viewers. But there’s actually a lot more to this practice, with more helpful exercises. If you felt drawn to learn more, you might want to check out HHDL’s books on compassion. The steps that I have found to be essential for tonglen to really work over a long period of time is to work with what’s called the “equanimity” steps. There’s 9 steps to go through BEFORE starting to do your tonglen practice. They make the tonglen about a thousand times more powerful and helpful. Worth checking out. Been doing this for over 20 years now, and can recommend the whole process 100%. Thanks as always for a informative and fun video. 🙂

  98. When I feel overwhelmed with pain, and I’m in the middle of feeling it and letting it out and not being able to figure out how to stop it, I take a breath and think: “It’s not okay, but I’M okay”. That calms me down enough to stop crying and start feeling that truth, instead of the pain. The situation is still there, but I know that I will figure a way out or through because I am enough and good and capable. I am okay.

  99. That was so what I needed, thank you Marie ….

  100. I have several different practices. First, I rarely watch the news, but still hear about stuff. I have a variety of mantra’s and one of my favorite is “I send peace, love, joy, happiness to all living organisms on planet earth.”
    I say that several times a day. It lifts me and hopefully spreads out across the earth.

    I do use Ho’oponopono on some negative situations. You can also you it on yourself(Inner Child Issues) and give yourself a hug which releases oxytocin the “love” molecule.
    I am sorry
    Please forgive me.
    I love you
    Thank you
    As a writer, I will write out my thoughts about a situation; re-read them to make a decision to see if “they” need more work or attention. I hold a ceremony when “thoughts” no longer evoke a negative feeling and burn the paper. I don’t do this very often.

    Others have mentioned EFT and that has value for many people.

  101. I do a similar practice you describe, using on out breaths “May all beings be free (of suffering), may all beings be safe, may all beings be filled with love”.

    Sometimes I say my favorite quote, “In nature nothing exists alone.” (Rachel Carson). This takes me right to the heart of feeling interconnected with all who suffer AND grounds me in the natural world as my proper home.

    I also am learning about grief ritual, making space for grief. Can you imagine what our society might be like if we had regular monthly community spaces to process grief? For those returning from wars of all kinds, for anyone who has lost someone close, processing and releasing would allow so many to move forward in a healthy way. So much of our pain is unprocessed grief and our culture has so few acceptable, supported outlets for grief. Not just grief for people close to us we lose but grief over any “gaps” in our lives. Things we never had. Things we never embraced.

  102. Beth

    Love this. I have done half of this practice over the years by praying blessings and peace on people who are pissing me off. It started years ago when a neighbor was doing something irritating and would not stop when asked to. I spent a couple of months being mildly to moderately annoyed by this person’s thoughtlessness. Then I reached a point where I accepted the fact that the only person being affected by my annoyance was me. My neighbor A) didn’t give a hoot and B) didn’t even know since I never said a thing after my first request knowing it wouldn’t do any good. So, I started praying blessing on her everytime I found myself annoyed by this behavior. I offered the prayer as unconditional, not expecting any intervention on the part of the divine or the universe to fix it. I did feel better and interestingly, without any conversation between us, she eventually stopped doing the annoying behavior.

    I will add the breathe in part to this prayer and the remembrance that millions of other people are feeling pain like this right now and will add the blessings to them. Beautiful post, thanks.

  103. Xapple

    Right now im just breathing deep, thinking about all the frustration and negativity you must feel inside you and I am breathing out sending you peace and love…. There, Marie’s advice worked, I dealt with an angry annoying person in a better way than getting angry at them..just because her advice is too espiritual and profound for you it doesn’t mean other more espiritually intelligent people can’t put it to good use. Now go get a life and take your negativity elsewhere.

  104. alison

    Thank You Marie! Now I have a word/name for that which I do without thinking. Tonglen. Seeing someone so close to me suffering and feeling so helpless sometimes that I reject it instead of, as so describe, breath it in and exhale with love and compassion.
    I love your wonderful and insightful videos.

  105. Sarah

    My personal practice = meditating! I started meditating on a regular basis about a month ago. With some ambient music in the background, I try to relax and center myself for 10-15 minutes every morning. It’s not always easy, but doing this for just a few weeks now, I’ve noticed a shift for the better. I’m calmer and more loving and accepting towards myself, which then projects to the outside world. Totally believe that everything in life comes full circle. Meditating helps me feel grounded and keeps me grateful.

    Thanks for a wonderful video Marie!

  106. I am a childbirth educator, so the topic of pain comes up daily. Your suggestion to tune into the pain is what I teach as well. We need to work with what we have and not try to escape it.

    Thank you for sharing this.

  107. I loved this episode! There is always a need for tools in times of struggle and pain to leverage. I often look at these horrible situations from a spiritual perspective, in other words, ” what is the lesson in all of this mess? “. I look at my lesson, and the person in pain in an attempt to put things in perspective for me.
    Last year I had a horrible experience – I had to go to the wake of a very small child. It was the most horrible thing to witness as a human being and as a mom – literally like running my heart over a grater. When I finally broke down in private, I asked my husband what kind of lesson could possibly come from this? He calmly replied, maybe its a lesson for the parents which I still struggle to understand. In turn, all I could do was pray to the mass card every morning, looking at the beautiful little face that was lost and asked him to send his mommy another baby. Sure enough, she was a new mom in less than a year! All I could do was trust the Universe and send love and healing to my friend and she is slowly healing and loving her new son.
    Marie’s breathing lesson is priceless and I will be adding this to my coping tools, for sure!

  108. I received this great tip from Terri Cole at a conference on locking your energy- which works wonders if you’re more of an empath, or just working with really draining people and situations. It’s a bit of energy work, and there’s a video on the process here: I tend to be a bit of a sponge when it comes to other people’s feelings, but this trick has worked wonders for me.

  109. I cant like this post enough. I think it is fabulous and will add it to my repertoire.

    As to another practice, I use a short meditation where you picture yourself holding a sword and the pain you are experiencing as a cloud in front of you. It is dark and roiling and you let it engulf you and you experience/feel/embrace the pain. Stay with it until the pain begins to ease and you are ready to let it go. You then use the sword to cut through the cloud of pain to see brilliant, shining light beyond it. You then walk forward into the light and allow yourself to be engulfed in it and feel the love of God’s light in it. Breath it in, then release it all.

    Love that one too. Not as quick as Tonglen but effective.

  110. Hi Marie

    That was beautiful & so lovely for you to bring spiritual practice here to show the beautiful game changers of the world this side on how to deal with ‘it’ all (yes I’m an empath too!) & and have the power – to empower! – others along the way to change this pain.

    I did want to share about my personal practice. I don’t follow any tradition or practice specifically, but instead I have blended & creatively combined to what my own heart resonates with from multiple spiritual practices from kundalini (yoga), your stock standard yoga (ashtanga for me) & buddhism mainly. Every day (yes everyday – and I love it!) I wake up and do a yoga/movement/play/self embodiment session (with my Beats by Dre headphones!) & then I do my meditation for 25 minutes, and then the two particular practices I want to share particularly with you all are singing to two mantras: Jaya Bhagavan & also Gayatri Mantra.

    Jaya Bhagavan I actually resite (listening to music/a song – by Tina Malia & Shimshai is my favourite) which is a mantra/praise to the energy of universal consciousness that is held in the body-mind (my body) and is (the consciousness) is present in us all. It enables me to feel fully into my body & feel the Love which is my true self in the centre (under it all – and if you can’t believe you are Love too… well.. I’m telling you. You and Me baby. We are only Love under it all 🙂 )

    Then, after I finish my practice (and this is the practice relevant for compassion & sending love back to All) is the Gayatri Mantra which is a praise/mantra that awakens the vital energies and gives liberation and deliverance from ignorance (for All – including ourselves). Basically, FEELING love and SENDING Peace & Devine Wisdom out to the world (from the centre of our heart – the centre of the chanter) enables me to open up my heart not only in that moment, but I have found it a significant help throughout my day in breathing even difficult moments in (aka when I have to deal with my mother especially!) & being calm, centred & grounded in my Truth, and who I really am – and not necessary reacting to what she says, or what happens out there – outside ourselves – in the world.

    Bliss & blessings Marie, and to everyone here – I hope you love the mantras as much as me!!!

    Love from tropical paradise Cairns ~ Australia.

    Xo Emily Ember

    OH! PS: My favourite Gayatri Mantra audio is by Shimshai & Tina Malia too!

  111. Thank you for this today Marie! This is exactly what I needed to be reminded of. I do a breath meditation, but the reminder that there are millions of people feeling the exact same thing (and they have gotten through it) was so comforting! Thank you!

  112. Perfect timing – thank you and much appreciated xx

  113. Dear Marie,

    This video is now one of my favorites! I like seeing your spiritual side.

    I listened to the holiday call with you, Danielle and Kris. So much fun! Such a great feeling the three of you transmitted via phone magic.

    Thanks for everything! You look amazing!
    ~ella birt~

  114. Oh Marie!
    This is right up my alley.
    I wrote about pain and made a very amateur youtube video on this topic.
    I’m all about feeling into and “be-friending” the pain.
    Check it out.
    Irene. xo

  115. I really, REALLY needed this.

    I’m going through a difficult time right now and have been doing loads of yoga which helps but have not been trying to think about anything in particular when I do it, just using it for an escape.

    Tonight when I do my yoga practice I will focus on releiving all of our pain and suffering.

    Thank you Marie!

  116. Helle Buttrup

    That is a goood practise.

    Another good one if someone really annoys you, is to wish them to be extremely happy, rich and loved – in a place far away from you – say hawaii

    It takes the pain of irritation away, as it is impossible to wish good for someone and be irritated at the same time.


  117. This is such an amazing tool! I can definitely see myself using it whenever I’m around people who are gossiping or just simply talking negatively about others.

    This is a tool that I also use in my meditations. But instead of breathing in pain, I breathe in love. And when I breathe out, I breathe out blessing, peace, wellness for the world and the people around me.

  118. Here, in France, the news are not just bad there are so negative! In terms of politics, economics, the waste of such a great country, the falling apart of Europe… The increase of collective and individual pain has been growing, it is even now measure by the OECD. For 5 years now I see it very clearly and it is affecting my life, my daily life, and increasing my pain. I deal with nature to resource myself but I have trouble to cope with daily pain as I cannot avoid listening to the news, to the people around me, and so getting negative interactions from negative people suffering themselves and not experienced to love or anything like meditation.

    When I create a message of joy someone would look at me as if I was an alien, because they do not experiment love, they experiment their own negativity, and if I enter the vicious circle I take upon their own pain that make me fall apart. SO?

    So, now, I do not let negativity enter my distortion field: stay away! It is still hard, but I can build my own world where my pain is being told and taking care of, even if I have to go to a therapist to make sure I have being listened to when I talk about these concepts that are not easy to understand for most people around us.

    Getting my self a flower, lighting a candle for my grand mother, and such things will temporally ease my pain, but making sure I stay connected with you all, and our human values, that is the real medecine ! 😉 And-Joy

  119. I believe that most of the pain we experience is created by ourselves. Most of the people in our society are unhappy and dissatisfied with how their lives “evolves”. I truly believe that once we figure out who we are and what we really want in life, we can start to feel content about ourselves – long-term. The key is to learn how to love oneself – which I guess is a life-long process.
    In the past, I used to take everything personal, saw all potential criticism as something bad and it affected me so so much. I felt so bad about myself so often. This year I embarked on a journey to learn to love myself, to become aware of my own value, and to accept myself as I am and to stop caring about what others think about me too much. Since then, I experience life from a complete different angle, life makes so much more sense to me now. And, I experienced much less pain, because I learned what is mine and what is “theirs”. I just feel so awesome now :).

  120. Aideen

    Thank you!! Ax

  121. Do you know Marie, I was only thinking, when I spotted this vid on Facebook, that you ALWAYS seem to know exactly what I’m going through at any one time! Then, you actually said that in your intro for this vid! It’s like you are telepathic! Amazing video, as always! I can’t thank you enough for all the advice, you are always spot on, and I recommend you to everyone!

  122. Always on time and dead on…Thanks Marie for what I call the immediate dissipation and emancipation practice. My morning ritual is…15 min meditation, 15 min tapping(EFT) , 30 min walk it out(walking in nature) or stretch it out(yoga). Super Green shake and hit it. I find for myself being super intuitive and open..I practice this breathing technique and have found it very effective. It gives me a chance to emotionally witness and also rebalance and change what I can… either speaking up or acknowledging the emotion. I must admit I sometimes say things others are afraid to dare say but I feel honesty is my way…it’s all about the delivery and timing. Operating from a caring heart is possible…it also gives me confidence to have those hard conversations. As always THANK YOU MARIE !

  123. Every human emotion is just that…Human. We all experience it, and with our instant connection to all the pain in the world, the way I stop myself from feeling Pain-Overwhelm is to breathe deeply and repeat another Buddhist saying, “Participate Joyfully in the Sorrows of the World.”

    Keep my Joy even when surrounded externally and internally by Pain.

    Great reminder, Marie, and thanks for the quick centering technique!

    Happy Holidays!

    • Dawnee Loya

      Thank you Marie. We are so joyful to see you giving Tibetan Buddhist teachings to your avid students. Thank you for encouraging us all to face pain consciously. We love tonglen. It is deeply healing for us. We appreciate your depth of wisdom greatly. Om Mani Padme Hum We teach a Tantric practice: breathe, movement, and sound to release tensions and negativities. We share genuine hopes for the peace and well-being of our sacred sexual selves globally. This practice is very powerful to create transformation. May all benefit.

  124. Katerina Erlebachová

    Hello Maria
    Tonglen is not so simple, as you present here. Instructions as you describe is a major simplification. If people will only do this under your instruction that you described here, they can also hurt themselves. I am very surprised that you haven´t found more about it before you present it.
    Tonglen has three levels, And it continues after exercise that is done before.
    I met one woman who became ill because she did the Tonglen by instructions that someone told her too simple …I highly recommend finding a master who really know how to teach Tonglen and learn from him before you start practicing it in “this simple way”…

    • B

      thank you Katerina, it is useful to hear a word of caution.

  125. Marie,
    Thanks so much for sharing this technique for dealing with pain and suffering and for explaining the benefits.

    My personal approach is a combination of prayer/meditation, Journaling, art journaling and watercolor painting. These activities activate my creative and spiritual centers and makes me more aware of Who I Am.

    I think the awareness and being tuned in is essential; so I loved that part of what you explained; it hit home.

    Thanks again, Marie.
    Be refreshed,
    Dawn Herring

  126. Emily

    Today’s topic was just what I needed! Sounds too simple, but it works!! I’ve found that my perceptions of pain are much more scary than the reality of that pain. And when I finally do “breath in” that pain and feel it in the deepest part of me, I’m often surprised to find it’s not as bad or hurtful or scary as I anticipated. And if it is overwhelming pain, “breathing it in” helps you to grapple with it, make sense of it. So you can exhale it away and free it from inside you.

  127. My Practice.
    1. Tong Len for sure. Meditate and Journal and think of a way I can help the dialogue with a workshop that donates $$ to the thing that is causing pain.

    2. Move. Yell, jump, stretch and dance it out of my body.

    3. Maybe have a cry and call Mom.

    4. Stare at Nature and remember that everything changes eventually.

  128. Lea

    Hey everyone,
    and thank you Marie for this great video. Writing a comment, right now, for the first time ever, is such a big hurdle to me. I’m so scared of not finding the right words, writing inacurrately or just not making sense. I’ve been following you and your work since I was 14, I joined B-School (and it had such a great impact on my life), but still I never really engaged in the comments, discussions or live calls.
    Through my daily practice, I realized that I am afraid of other’s presumptions of me, that I am (still) so scared, they might not like what I say, what I do, how I look or how I write, therefore I preferred being silent in the past.
    My daily practice, that includes reciting a mantra from the Lotos Sutra, which is one of the great writings of the historical founder of Buddhism Shakyamuni Buddha, connects me to my highest state of being and to the infinite wisdom, courage, and empathy that lies within me. By reciting this mantra in the morning and evening, I could see this tendency of holding myself back in fear of criticism very clearly, but also the great possibility for growth that it represents. Right now, I feel like I am making a huge step towards the goal of throwing myself out there, doing what I love to do and not worrying about what other people might think about me. My buddhist practice gives me stability in the moments, when I’m doubting my choices or when I catch myself comparing my life, my look, my abilities, or my job to others. The essence of the mantra Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo ,that I chant in the morning or evening and as long as I wish to, is the praise of each human being’s inherent buddha-nature and thanking the universe and it’s life force. Now this is very simplified, but it’s actually my tool to send out love and energy to everyone around me, while also having a clear introspective view on myself. In the half hour in the morning and the evening i feel like i can align to the rhythm of the universe, and evidently see my mission on this earth, which is creating peace and happiness. What i found out to be even more empowering, is attending meet ups with other laic buddhists, where we not only chant together, but have the possibility to talk about specific challenges we’re facing and hear other people’s experiences on how they could overcome obstacles. In these moments I feel so thankful to be part of a peace movement, and I realize that i am creating absolute happiness that is based on everlasting values. I can apply this method of realigning to every aspect of my daily life, and especially social connections are changing for the better once I explictly pray for someone’s personal happiness.
    Ok so this is it,
    Thanks for reading!

  129. I’ve practiced Tonglen for years after learning it from Pema Chodron. It is amazing and very transformational energetically. I also practice with a prayer each day that encourages me to let go of the past, be forgiving, and live from Love.

    Great vid, thanks!

  130. Marie, helpful and inspiring as always! I struggle with chronic back pain, so I’m always on the lookout for something new to try — can’t have too many tricks up one’s sleeve when it comes to chronic pain. And I agree that the beauty of a simple practice like tonglen is in it’s versatility.

    As for what I currently do, I’ve been working on growing a meditation practice for a while now (with some small success these days). And I find that much of my own pain and suffering is alleviated by simply focusing in on the present moment, re-focusing the mind away from troublesome thoughts or worries about which nothing can be done and placing attention on the sensations of the body for just a few minutes can really turn a bad moment around.

    • hi jessica, i actually use the tonglen technique when i meditate AND i experience the back pain which is every time during 10+ min meditation. And i can say it helps almost every time. I learned it from pema chodron and all is needed to focus on the painful area and breath into it keeping in mind thousands of others feel the same… ( at home i usually change position but in group meditation i try to be stronger ! )

  131. Ramani

    Hello Marie, I just love your inspirational videos.
    For relief of pain and for healthy and peaceful lifestyle, I practice ‘The Art of Living’ practices of breathing and Meditation ,followed by millions all over the world. This has helped me improve my health and heal.
    Also given me clarity in vision and thought.

  132. Marie,

    LOL! Your homepage photo for this video rocks, that sh*t-eating grin of yours would look great on the cover of The Onion or MAD Magazine.

    Anyway, thanks for the video, this technique helps alot. I work alot with meditation and other techniques, very good items to add to the bag of tricks, and shows a very postive way of approaching the “stuff” going on the world.

  133. I am HUGE on laughing Marie. Really, really, really big. If we look at the pain around us we’re bringing our energy to something serious, something sad. This only makes serious situations expand in the Universe. I laugh, and laugh, and smile, and continually joke around to handle this corner of the Universe. If I do see something which appears to be unjust, I’ll bless it and move on. Giving sad energy or head-shaking energy to it only makes it expand. That’s my fault. We all have to own our crap, or our judgement, and then, move on from it.

    If you aren’t going to physically tackle some cause the best thing to do is to bless it, to let it go to the Universe, so that it rights itself. You can choose to right it through positive action but if it’s out of your wheel house and if you’re engaged in some other cause, no need to bother. Simply bless it, and then when you’re away from it, laugh more, smile more and joke more. Life’s supposed to be a vacation. All disharmony is our creation. Now, that’s not to say we won’t grieve, and be angry, and be sad, but again, we choose to embrace these energies and then, to move to a higher vibe, to create more happiness in the Universe.

    Oh yeah, I meditate a ton too 😉 Every day 20 minutes.

    Thanks for sharing!


  134. Totally OT and you’ve probably seen it a zillion times over, but saw this and thought of you:

  135. Kim

    Interesting. I’ve always done it the opposite way – breathing out the pain to get that negative energy out of my body and then breathing in something positive to take its place. The way you suggest has good merit because it’s almost like, by breathing in the bad energy, you can cleanse it with your good internal energy and release it back into the world in a better state than it was. Either way, I love that it brings focus and empathy to the pain and the people causing it.

  136. Oliver Rojas

    Hello ,
    Awhile back Josh and you produced a video that explains emotions are vibrations. It went on to say, “They vibrate thru your core and resonate out until they disperse”. Among these variety of emotions.. are good and bad vibrations. Bad vibrations…are emotions that get caught…and don’t naturally resonate out and disperse, disrupting all your thinking processes.. To remedy this situation… I respond by,” Thinking Them Out…” which allows for, “Regaining your Grounding”:
    1 In an unsettling situation…Stand still, and touch your tummy with your hand. Hold it there and think..”Get a grip, regroup”.. till you feel some sort of rebalancing….a momentary recalibration of emotions so the bad vibes don’t drown out the good vibes
    2 then ask,……”What’s going on here?”..”Why am I freakin?’…At which point your brain starts scanning files in your head if the answer is not immediate.. Once zeroed in on the bad vibe..ask…
    3. What do I have here? What can I do to change this? How can I make it better?…If all this fails..consider…What can I do to make a “negative,” bad vibe event, a “positive….situaton”
    This system..of getting out bad vibes..or kinks…is not fail safe..
    some emotions blow you out of the water…although always try to circle back, get your footing, and regroup.

  137. Sofiya

    I agree, letting in the pain helps find peace. When I was younger I used to just hide pain behind my smile. I thought it would go away. I said to myself – I am stronger then pain, but eventually it had to come out one way or another. It was not until after I finished watching this video that I realized how much of an impact running has over me. I started running a few years ago and each time I run, I get a little me time. It helps me process things and think them over.
    Thank you, Marie for all the work that you do.

  138. YAo

    try the tonglen once this morning, hard to say is it helpful or not. but I guess i will work if keep doing it. when you recognize that pain is universal, but you don’t want to be universal , you will be more brave.

  139. B

    Marie, I unreservedly love you (and have done for at least 2 years now) but this suggestion in the video increased my emotional reaction a lot, it’s like as if I gave it even more room to exist within me. I feel like I have a good head on my shoulders but I don’t dare to do this for too long, I feel like I wouldn’t be sure where it would take me…

  140. Thanks, Marie, for this timely post. I have friends and family going through some rough times right now, and the Tonglen method is one I will practice.

    When I feel pain and suffering in myself or others, I write. Depending on the situation, I write a letter to myself or to that person offering my love and support. It helps me feel I’ve done something positive by sharing their pain and suffering. Sometimes I mail the note/letter and sometimes I don’t. That’s my way of tuning in.

  141. Focus on the silver lining in every situation!

  142. Beautiful, I do something creative when I feel pain or negativity, whether it is dancing, singing, decorating or my favorite I write it out specially when it’s deep pain like the loss of a loved one…

  143. Hi everyone.
    There are many cases in my life such as:
    When I can’t go home to wait something, first of all bad feeling come up to me because I want around my family. But in fact it is good time for me spend more efforts on things I passion about. Although is don’t really comfortable but help me don’t stay with negative, I really push myself go far more little step.
    Sometime I feel fear lose of my job that many people wish, but if this happen I have more opportunity to do things I want, I don’t need spend most of time and energy on normal job, I have more time, more energy, more focus, more creative to do things I really want. And I really get answer this for many people in this case if bad things happen that they think about.
    That is my experience.

  144. Stephanie

    Marie. Just signed up for your Tue. Q & A because I LOVE your energy……very good vibs! I have what I truly believe w/ all my heart to be a great product to manufacture and market. Problem: I am fairly clueless in how to go about ALL OF THE DETAILS in such a huge undertaking. When I think of all the details from custom fabric printing, assembly, advertising, website, shipping, and on and on I freeze up because I do not know how to do any of this and have only a small start-up fund. Just like “pin the tail on the donkey” I am blindfolded and spinning around……could you please push me in at least the right direction?

  145. Hi Marie,
    I use a method of expanded awareness to experience any kind of negative emotion which really is not us and what we are feeling but our Ego’s identification with the way things should be. How do we extract ourselves from this identification? By learning to be in the present moment to notice our own identification. If we feel negative or angry, we can sit or”cook”in that emotion in order to observe what it is. yes, we don’t try to push it away, but rather take in impressions from sensation in our body, feelings and the wacky thoughts that are flying by. We rarely are able to take in information on all these levels at the same time. As we practice this expanded awareness, we get better at seeing behind what our Ego is doing. it is not us and we are not those negative emotions. This practice could be like you are a visitor in your own body watching its shenanigans as if they weren’t actually you. If you can enter into this present moment, cooking in the emotions, you may be able to see your “identification”. What a relief to know we are not our negative emotions and we can eventually become separate from them with this simple practice of expanded awareness. This gives us the power to accept the way things are, not take things so personally and have really really good boundaries.

  146. There is nothing more compassionate than the act of service. It brings light into my heart and into the heart and lives of others. You love people more profoundly when you serve them with no expectation that you will get something in return (although that awesome, happy feeling you get is a huge reward).

  147. OMG! This is what I do during labor! Inhale the pain, feel it with my whole body, then exhale to release and relax. And I advice everyone who I know who’s about to have a baby that it is critically important NOT to resist tge pain, but to feel it wholly instead.

    Little did I know it actually works with non-physical pain as well. This is great! I can implement immediately. Thank you, Marie.

  148. I was going through a very tough relationship and was doing everything I thought possible to ease the pain… and that’s exactly what I was doing wrong! Just like Marie says… we try to find a way to make it feel better. But what I discovered was that the pain was telling me something. A really great meditation teacher finally asked me… “all this meditation you are doing is great, but are you LISTENING and RESPONDING?” I was using meditation as an escape instead of really using it to empower me. I figured out that pain was a reaction I was having because there was something I was avoiding and not DOING… in my case, I needed to say NO to this person. Once I did, my spirit was dancing (literally!!! I felt so much peace afterwards! something I couldn’t get from therapy or talking to my friends for hours on end!) Anyway, I started writing about my experiences and created a little website at to share what helped me. Marie hits the nail on the head in this video- having compassion for yourself is the ultimate gift you could ever give yourself. Thanks for helping so many people out there and empowering them, Marie (and team)!!! You guys are awesome!

  149. Madison

    It’s been a personal practice of mine to allow myself to really feel the pain; to breathe into it, to sit with it, and to allow myself to experience it while simultaneously feeling my wholeness, to know that I am not broken by it and it is not greater than me. This practice grants me the freedom to feel the broad spectrum of human emotions that contributes so greatly to life.

    “Perfect love is to feeling what perfect white is to color. Many think that white is the absence of color. It is not. It is the inclusion of all color. White is every other color that exists, combined.” – Conversations with God

    This video gives me a tool to turn that acceptance into greater compassion and healing for both myself, and the world. I look forward to putting tonglen into practice. Thank you, Marie, for sharing such deep and spiritual lessons in such a practical way.

  150. Hi Marie~

    Awesome video about Tonglen! I’ve tried this and have had interesting results. One time I got really sick after practicing this for a week or so and I wondered if it was because some of that “pain” energy got left in my body!
    So I’ve stayed away from this practice for several years, even though it’s come to me a few more times as an option for releasing and transforming energies that feel uncomfortable to deal with!

    So, I’m trying it again today in your video and somehow it feels different and I’m struck with the knowledge that sometimes, when I start something new, it may take a while to integrate and manifest in the way I want it to. Once I’ve been practicing it for a while, it may not “make me sick” or be so uncomfortable. So I am going to try this again and know it will have a powerful impact on my life and life around me!

    Thank you for this!

    A tool I use for bringing my awareness to energy is a tool I call Body Centered Awareness. I’ve learned many things about being aware of the bodies sensations and energies around and in the body through working with great life coaches, like Julie Cramer, and clairvoyant mediums and channelers of peace and love, like Michele Cleaves and Judy Anderson, and also training as a life coach with Leadership that Works, and watching Kwenda Lima dance, and it goes on and on! And, of COURSE, through the great work of Eckhart Tolle in his books The Power of Now and A New Earth, where I learned all about being the witness to my experience from listening to his books on tape (that’s when I had a tape player in my car!)

    So Body Centered Awareness is about noticing the energies of the body: the sensations you may be feeling at any given time in the body, so that you can reap the information from them which thus allows them to release themselves from you.

    A simple practice is to sit quietly for a few moments and watch your breath. Bring your awareness to a sensation you feel in your body. Continue watching the breath as you bring curiosity to this sensation. You can ask yourself: Whose energy is this? and listen for the response. This may give you clarity on whether it’s yours, partially yours, or someone else’s. Even just this clarity can allow “negative” or uncomfortable sensations and energy to shift and move from the body. Sometimes I’ll ask the energy, What do you want me to know? or What do you have for me? and I’ll listen for the response.

    It’s amazing. I always reap such awesome things from this.

    Ultimately, these practices bring me more centered into the body and more empowered in my own self so I can live my best life aligned with my own self, values, and visions, and go for them all!

    Love and Light, Sarah Haykel

  151. Hi Marie,

    This is kinda timely for what is happening to me right now and my daughter. I’ve been in some kind of pain not only physically but emotionally because my daughter had recently a “puberty crisis”, if that’s the right word. She told me she’s not happy here and blaming me why we brought her here. A lot of things happened after that which caused a lot of pain on my part as well. I’ve been uttering prayers for her whenever I am around her since her belief in God was twisted after the more than 5 years she is here in the Netherlands. I am so grateful to you for all the wisdom you are sharing to the world. I am benefiting from all of it. I will include Tonglen in my everyday routines from now on. Thank you very much. You are as always beautiful inside and out.

  152. Hey Marie,

    Firstly, you and your platform are just a beautiful composition of what the world needs more!

    How do I deal with pain, suffering or the dull moments?

    I embrace the moments, I look for the opportunities, I add some cheek to it and try bring in some fun, some laughter. I also take my frustrations out through a workout or a run…. But how I maintain this vibe, this happiness, or joy, is by encouraging others.

    In 2014 I posted an encouraging & motivational picture with some inspiring words each day for the full 365 days. This year – 2015, I will be doing it again. This year the posts will be hosted through my personal blog and shared across the social media. If anyone would like to come along for the ride please head over to:

    Keep up the good work!!!

  153. Great video!

  154. Sally Johnson

    I enjoyed the video. I feel that could be a good thing to do for some people whose Aura is weak enough to allow that kind of low vibration to effect them. However, it is like being on the battle field and you have to be in a very surrendered compassionate place to do this. If you were in this place in the first place, then you would not be effected by the negativity from your co-workers. What works for me is doing the 5 tibetan rites before I go to work. This puts me in such a high vibration that i am not effected by the lower vibes. This takes me out of the battle zone. So I find your solution to be non sequitur in relation to the question you received. I.E. if she is already brought down to the lower vibratory rate, then how can she breath in that angst? She could try but it probably would crash and burn her. 4 Tibetan rites. Freedom… I have a friend in Hollywood that once he gets a load of you, is going to realize your potential. Josh, sorry to say, is not King to your Queen, but you already know that on a deeper level. Don’t settle Girlfriend!

  155. Maria

    Brilliant Marie! Keep up the amazingly good work!

  156. Tan

    Hello Marie,
    I’m truly inspired by you, your posts that come in perfect time and your humour and positivity.
    It’s great to have people like you who do not hesitate to share their experiences and tips on how to have a better life and be a better person.

    How do you deal with anger? How do you calm it down when you feel it swirling inside you and just wanting to come out in the most brutal way possible? How can you not react when your ‘loved ones’ tell you so negative things, treat you like nothing, insult and accuse you of things you never thought, never said and never did?

    Today I experienced this and reacted in the most horrible way ever. I couldn’t recognise myself and at that moment could not even think clearly. It was like there was someone else inside me saying all those horrible things in reply to those horrible things being said to me. Since the start of this year, I’m just aiming at being a better me. Taking care of myself, my nutrition,my skin and my health and mind. In a moment, how could i forget all this? What should i do? After being so angry and nearly fell inconscious, i got red marks on my face. I don’t want to live such a day again. I can’t stand such negativity.

    • Chelsea - Team Forleo

      Tan, I’m so sorry to hear this happened and, most of all, that you’re feeling so down on yourself. We’d love to help, and I have some great MarieTV episodes to share with you, so write us at infoATmarieforleoDOTcom and I’ll share some links with you!

      Taking care of yourself is huge, and I think you’re right on in having that as a top priority this year. When our needs are being met and we’re taking care of ourselves, it helps with all of our other relationships with everything.

      Sending you loads of positive vibes, and please feel free to email us for those episodes.

  157. Vatsal

    Hi Marie,

    I am 36 year old male. I have been through really tough times emotionally & financially. I am trying to get back to connect with life financially. But I get really really scared thinking I am too old to startover or often I feel like I am stuck. I am trying to be positive as much as I can but I do feel scared very often. Do you think it’s too late for me to achieve my dreams?

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Hi Vatsal, thank you so much for watching this episode. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been through some tough times and that you’re feeling stuck. It can feel really difficult to get back on track after facing challenges, so I know you’re absolutely not alone there.

      Please know that we completely believe that it’s never too late to start achieving your dreams. We actually did an episode of MarieTV about that a little while back, so I thought I might pass that along so you could check it out:

      It’s a really incredible episode, and I love the quote Marie shares from Julia Cameron: “how old will I be if I decide to learn the piano? The same age if I don’t.” It’s never truly easy to follow our dreams, no matter when we get started, but it can really do wonders for uplifting our soul and doing our best work in the world.

      We’re cheering you on, and please feel free to stop by MarieTV anytime you need a little dose of inspiration!

      • Hans Hoerdemann

        Caroline, how is it that some people have pictures next to their name in these comments?

        • Kristin - Team Forleo

          Hans, great question! They have a Gravatar account set up that is connected to the email address they used when leaving their comment on our blog. The Gravatar account will pull in the photo of their choice wherever they leave comments on the web using that same email address.

          You can set yours up here –

  158. Hans Hoerdemann


  159. Hanna R.

    I love this, and I am going to try tonglen! I usually try to do a similar type of meditation, called Metta meditation, which starts with myself and then I send out the energies to those close to me, then to people I have hurt, people who have hurt me, and then to the world at large. It sounds like “May I be happy. May I be well. May I be peaceful and at ease. May I be free from suffering and pain.”

  160. Birgit Putteman

    Thank you for sharing Marie.
    Lately I’m overwhelmed with grief and not sure how to handle that.
    I’ll implement this and see how it works. So happy to have found something that will help me and that acknowledges the pain there is.
    Love from Belgium
    Xoxo, b

  161. Thank you!
    Tapping is a technique that I use, which works in a similar way. Tapping on the meridians is a simple practice, which will will release the pain, while acknowledging the thoughts associated with it. I love the aspect of tuning in, and transforming, while sending messages of love and acceptance of what is within the self and others. Sending love to everyone during this stressful time.

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