Marie Forleo introduction


I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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Have you ever had someone say something about your work that felt like a punch in the gut? Where you were almost shocked how downright ignorant and mean it was?

While most of us get that learning to deal with criticism is an essential part of the creative game, that intellectual awareness doesn’t always help us emotionally.

Sometimes a put-down is the best fuel to fire you up. Click To Tweet

Especially when you’re first starting out.

Words sting. And unfortunately, the harshest words often linger in the back corners of our minds longer than we’d like to admit.

That’s why I want to tell you a story about this guy who put me down on an escalator and how I’ve used that experience to lift myself up.

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Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

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What’s so beautiful about this is that life is always giving you exactly what you need to grow to your next level.

Though it may feel absolutely crappy in the moment, with a little time and perspective, the crap often turns to gold.

So let’s turn this inspiration into action.

In the comments below, I want to hear about your escalator moment.

Let’s have a real, honest to goodness thank you fest for those times someone hasn’t believed in you. Or, when life has challenged your belief in yourself.

Tell me how it has, or can, fire you up to create what you set out to.

Be as specific as you can because thousands of incredible souls come here each week for insight and support, and your share may be exactly what someone else needs to hear!

Since it’s easy to get down and dirty talking smack about folks who were mean to us, let’s take the high road here and focus on what you learned and how it’s moving you ahead.

P.S. While we were making this episode we found this genius video that involves three things we love and thought you may too.

  1. a killer escalator moment at 1:15.
  2. badass dancing
  3. Christopher Walken

You’re welcome.

Thank you so much for continuing to make this one of the most supportive and positive places to visit on the internet.

With all my love,


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  1. I had one person tell me that what I was doing was not a “real” career. That my ideas were unrealistic and that I wasn’t going to succeed unless I grew into big agency and was acquired (not my business model).

    This is so true! We get to decide if we want moments in our life to push us up or pull us down. I always try to choose up 🙂

    • Galen, I think when we’re doing something outside of the “usual business model” like Marie, it takes a while for others to catch up. Some people like to think there’s only one way to do things successfully, and boy are the wrong! 😉

      • This is so true. Wasting time and energy trying to defend your decisions or explaining your entrepreneur vision/ambitions is just draining and frustrating. Many people can’t even begin to imagine living this type of life because it represents uncertainty and that’s okay. To each their own. Also, what people say and how they react is about THEM (their fears, values, life experiences and traumas) not you.

        • Great point, Genevieve! I had an encounter with a guy who basically said I was too fat to be seen with in public. His daughter was a charming pre-teen girl. She and I got along great. She was overweight, and while he had no problem with the double standard he was setting for his potential dating partner, his daughter really had a hard time with it. And he simply couldn’t see the message he was sending.

          It was all about him. And a shame, too. Because I’m pretty awesome. 🙂

          • Oh my god, that’s heartbreaking! Shame on him.

            I think parents sometimes don’t realize how much kids internalize not only what is said to them directly, but also what is said about other people. I remember my parents making comments about people in passing (their weight or the way they dressed) and I had some major issues about it well into my 20s.

          • Ivana

            OMG Lisa I love your business and website. Great work!

          • Love your confidence Lisa!

          • Jane Cavanagh

            Hehe I love that you’re awesome 🙂 (I’m a bit awesome too).

          • Pamela Biervliet

            Hi Lisa, I love your site & your vlogs. You are such a personality and so entertaining, you should be an actress!

    • I hear you, Galen!

      As I have continued to step away from my initial career, I’ve had former colleagues continually question the validity of my choices. I even had one try to shame me with, “How do you live on that?” Mind you, she has no idea about my finances and can’t even contemplate what can be achieved outside of our profession.

      I think when people deem choices as not “real” it’s only to keep them safe in their own mental constructs. I mean, how dare you step outside established boundaries and shake up everything they believe to be true?!!!

      I’m living for the day when the detractors say, “The amount of success she’s had is unreal.” And I’ll just smile knowing that they were right…on a level they couldn’t have imagined. 🙂

      • I could not agree more! What I am finding out is people seem to be surface level supportive of your dreams. Then when you actually put them into action they seem to get suspect and are not so quick to invest in you (time and money). It is natural to do what is comfortable and safe. Stepping out on faith and believing in yourself is high risk with abundant reward we are not all cut out for that. For those of us that are I applaud you!

        • So true! And great description “surface level supportive”

          • I can relate to that as well! I find that the “surface level supporters” are actually astonished that I am taking action to fulfill my dream, but as Marie says, I only makes me want to succeed even more. These kind of people will be replaced with real supporters once you show what you are really made of, I think.

          • I just launched my PFF movement last week Thursday. Prior to my launch I had been soliciting feedback from my circle and had been given some pretty good advice. They all know my story and have all encouraged me. However, during my launch and still even to today I have yet to see the support that I was banking on.

            At first I was completely sad, mad and upset. Then it was revealed to me that relying on my circle is not the standard and I must branch out in order to thrive. The very next day I started handing out my business cards to everyone I came into contact with.

            I realized that surface level support also was my catalyst to uncovering actual support. I have not even spoken to my circle to express my disappointment and I will not. I am going to do exactly what Marie said “thank them” for their motivation!

            I am a Perfectly Flawed FeMale!

        • Absolutely agree with you Marie!! Everyone is supportive of the idea of you chasing your dreams, until you actually go out and do it. It makes people uncomfortable to see people going against the grain and taking control of their lives. It’s definitely much easier to do what is “comfortable and safe.” But that just makes me want to prove everyone wrong! We can be the living proof that you can take a leap of faith and believe in yourself enough to make your dreams a reality!

          • Thank you Marie and friends for this meaningful discussion!
            As I get ready to launch my YouTube channel (thanks to your inspiration, Marie) I see members of my inner “circle” getting uncomfortable. It’s like they are scared for me to fail and want to protect me. Interestingly, I have been able to separate myself from their fear seeing it as a projection of their own stuff. I have to admit this is the FIRST time I have ever felt like this. I attribute it to finally being honest with myself about what my gifts (and not so good at stuff) are and just going in the direction of my what’s easy for me. I happen to like to talk in front of large crowds, kinda weird but it’s my truth. I also love to help people and as a therapist do, so why not marry the two!? My intuition says go and my intent is to serve. So what other people think of me is really none of my business!
            We don’t need anyone’s permission to be our true selves.
            Wishing you clarity and great success!

          • Jane Cavanagh

            Nicely said Jordan!

      • Suzanne Rogers


    • Isn’t it funny how people feel they have the right to decide what’s “unrealistic” when it comes to other people’s lives. The way I look at it, is these are people that have trapped their mind into thinking everything is impossible and I just feel sorry for them, since they won’t explore their full potential.

      • Totally agree! Everyone’s perspective is different based on their experiences and outlooks. That’s why I always try to remind myself that people can’t process what they don’t understand. Most are just trying to help when they are really just being negative.

    • I don’t understand how someone can start a business with the plan of getting acquired, how can you have a successful business and be passionate about it if you’ve got one foot out the door before you ever start? I have much more admiration for people who start a business because they love it and don’t want to do anything else.

      • Just another classic Marie, TURD MUNCHER, ignorato, Piece of poop!! Hilarious. My escalator moment was when I told someone I was going to do internet marketing… they laughed and said “you don’t even like computers.” Which WAS TRUE at the time. However I was going to make it hell or high water! Now those people are classified as turd munchers!!!! LOL

    • Thanks Marie… I needed to hear that.

    • FoX

      yeah up is better 🙂

    • I was kicked out of a bachelors program after having fulfilled all the requirements with flying colors- I also seen those that administered the program tear someone down with criticism and brought them to tears. I transferred to another University and had a far more positive and creative experience, obtaining my chosen degree. Do not live someone else’s dreams- you will never meet their expectations and your dreams will never come to fruition. Listen to your own soul’s song.

    • Amanda

      Thank you, I’ve had some women not appreciate me recently. And band to gether to be not very nice. Its made me realise how wonderful I am with children to get them to this level. And how patient and amazing I am, thanks. So I guess that’s what you mean about firing me up to be positive about me.

      Also I planned one amazing event recently. And I am not responsible for others reading or comphrehension abilities!

  2. Oh, this is a great topic!

    My escalator moment: For a hot second, my business partner and I thought we wanted to be corporate coaches to help companies engage their Millennials. After partnering with my old employer, we got some “anonymous” feedback from an old stodgy man that basically rained crap ALL over our website and accused us of being incredibly unprofessional.

    It was a wake-up call that the corporate world was NOT the box we wanted to be in. Transforming corporate America is a great goal … but it just wasn’t our battle. And that pompous old man helped solidify that in NO uncertain terms.

    So now, we have an awesome coaching business for Millennials, and as soon as we get super clear on who we really wanted to work with … our business was MUCH more successful.

    P.S. I’m stealing your phrase “Turd Muncher,” Marie! 😉

  3. The punch in the stomach for me was pretty much every annual appraisal in my corporate role. I confidently check off all my objectives for the year but would always be given “feedback” that I just needed to be more assertive – NB: I am assertive but was not ruthless to the point of aggressive. It took me a long while to realise i DID NOT want to succeed in that environment, but not after years of feeling not good enough in that world. Thank goodness I realised that it wasn’t that I needed to change ME but to change the environment in which I was using my skills.

    Now I do work that lights me up and draws out my strengths rather than forces me to be somebody else.

    The lesson I learned was that I should always listen to feedback but not necessarily take it to heart. x

  4. Marie-

    Thanks so much for sharing this video and your experience. I’m the SAME way! I’ve had two escalator moments that I would like to give thanks for.

    The first one came at the very beginning of my business. I was just starting to get out there and network and I told someone about my business name, Fit Armadillo. They thought it was a horrible name that no one would get. I didn’t care, because I wanted a fun name. Fast forward to today where I am now thanking this moment for fueling me to keep going and explaining my business name more clearly at the start of conversations, making fun t-shirts to show the cute mammal off, and getting me the awesome new clients who say they picked me FOR my name! Yay for ICAS 🙂 I actually am fortunate in that I got to thank this guy in person in August where I spoke at that same networking event and got to share all the exciting things that are going on in my business. BEST FEELING EVER! It was also my first time speaking so now I’m fueled to find more speaking engagements 🙂

    The other elevator moment I had came from another fitness professional turned business coach. She told me online fitness was a horrible idea and that no one would want to partake. I continued pushing and now have some AWESOME clients online ALL OVER THE WORLD. Definitely grateful for the fire being fueled there and the awesome experiences I am having in Australia, Japan, and all over Europe without having to deal with airport security 🙂

    I challenge someone to fuel this fire again!

    • Catherine, before I read your comment I noticed Fit Armadillo next to you name and thought “what an awesome name, I want to check that out!”

      It just goes to show that you so often need to do what feels right and will attract the people you want to attract. It’s also helpful to reflect on how we give feedback to other people – it’s so important to weed out your own preference when you’re trying to be objective.

      • Great point Rebecca!

      • Yay! I love it 🙂 You’re one of the cool ones 🙂

        Definitely agree with you about how we should use our interactions with naysayers to help us give feedback to others. I’m in a mastermind group and luckily the leaders of the group have had us focus on trying to be objective when we give each other feedback. It’s the reason I love the group so much!

  5. I shyly showed a friend my writing a few years back, and she was like, “Meh. Don’t quit your day job. You can’t make money off of that.” Years later, I quit my day job and started writing as a freelancer and blogger. It took years, but I finally understood that I had to make it work, because writing is my passion.
    Loved your video, Marie!

    • Money isn’t everything, friend! 🙂

      • cat1

        Thanks Dina for sharing this story – and Marie for the original video / post! – and Wendy for this reply. Because on top of the feedback not being great, even if it was true, if Dina (whomever) got joy out of it, that is sometimes enough, and you never know where the road might lead. I had someone say something similar to me about an idea I had (telling me that no one makes money doing that) and unfortunately I took it to heart and stopped pursuing my idea. It has now morphed into another idea (similar but a bit different) but the hurt from that comment still lingered. I didnt think … well I am going to show you … I felt too vulnerable and now I hesitate to share things with people because I see how I can get de-railed. But maybe that is okay too. We all learn from different experiences and inspire each other – which is why a forum and open discussion like this is really helpful. Thanks!

      • I absolutely agree, Wendy! A lot of people look down on those who pursue their dreams if they’re not huge moneymakers.

    • Becca

      I really admire all those of you who have turned these ‘elevator moments’ into motivation to push ahead with your dreams!

      I’m at the beginning of my journey, but my ‘elevator moment’ was when I’d just been accepted into the degree I wanted to do, (which was what I considered the first step in building a foundation from which to follow my passion). I’ve since learned to keep ideas and dreams to myself, but I was young, and told every new person I met socially that I’d just enrolled in this course and I had this particular passion. I was told repeatedly that course was very hard (by those that hadn’t done it, mind), that there’s no work in the industry (by those that weren’t in the industry), that the software I’d have to learn posed too steep a learning curve etc, that I should eventually teach instead of practice, that I’d never comprehend what I was pursuing (by those that never undertook the pursuit themselves), that women belong in the kitchen etc. I took these comments to heart, but I still went ahead with the degree, albeit with much trepidation. Now, I’m nearing the end of the course and not only has my passion strengthened beyond belief, but I’ve maintained an 85% grade average, and have received great feedback from my teachers on my potential. Despite these words, I’m frightened to leap into the uncertainty of not knowing whether I can actually do it. I know that I have to apply myself completely for some time before I’ll know if I have the potential to be good at it or not, and this fear is what’s holding me back. I’m sure it’s extremely common. There are many naysayers in my life at the moment and because of my own self-doubts, I am letting their opinions get me down. I do desperately want to use their discouragement as motivation, though – and blogs like this are helping tremendously! Thank you to all those of you who have shared their stories. I see that many of you were discouraged in the same way that I was/am, and to read that you have overcome that to achieve success is incredible, and will be a great source of strength to me as I continue my journey.

  6. People used to tell me – actually, the STILL tell me – that my job as a digital strategist / author-in-training is just “playing around online all day.” Nope!

    • Jennifer

      You can do it! The people who are playing around online spend all their free time playing Candy Crush, while you’ll be out reaping the real life rewards!

  7. Jennifer

    Yes! Such a great message. I went through a similar situation last month where I had to stand up and let someone know that I was serious about my work, especially getting paid one time for it. I literally knocked these people on their backs, with my tenacity, because they didn’t expect someone as young as me to play hard with corporate big wigs.

    These people don’t realize that they’re making us stronger, so it really is a blessing, even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment the incident occurs.

    • elena

      Great message Jennifer !

      • elena

        You are awesome !

  8. oh! I am wired like that too.

    The most intense non support I have gotten in my life was when I asked the chairman of my department to be nominated for an award.

    He tried to talk me out of it saying only this one dude had won it, it was very competitive, very hard to win.

    Then I asked if anybody had asked to be nominated. He said no. So I said I would like to try.

    After a week or so he hesitantly decided to grant me my wish.

    I freaking won the award out of 400 nominees in the entire US and Canada. He was the first to call me. He never apologized verbally for not believing in my talent but he did grant me another financial award which I took as his apology.

    And I really hope that me winning this very “boy’s club” award in Cinematography opened his heart a tiny bit to be able to notice the brilliance in other woman.

    So I thank him for not believing in me!

  9. Loved this video! 🙂 Each one of our obstacles should be viewed as an opportunity to strategize, execute better and move forward!

  10. Oh Marie.

    Your videos always seem to be speaking directly to me and are often being released with natural timing for my own life.

    I hope it is okay to share this here but I just had an experience this past weekend with an adult bully that brought back so much pain and trauma from my past. It started in high school with the “I Hate Erin Fan Club” and just when I thought I had left that all behind, a woman this weekend, at a blogging event, brought it all flooding back.

    Here’s my story (it’s 3,000 words long so clearly it had an affect) and I hope that it helps at least one person understand that they aren’t alone and that even if you’re knocked down to a place where you see no way out, good things can still come from it.


    • Erin- How interesting. There was a “We Hate Heather Club” at my middle school. I always find it interesting what makes people band together in the name of hatred. As I have gotten older I now realize that it was truly them reacting to my different-ness than them. My light may have been shining a bit too bright for them so they decided to dull it. Now I get it, then it was awful.

      Here’s to us outsiders shining on!

      • Em

        So there wasn’t just a ‘We Hate Em Club”! I will never forget that happening to me in third grade. The worst part was that even my application to my own hate club was denied! ;o)

        I’m so thankful to have experienced the dregs in life so that I could fully appreciate when life bestows you with blessings. I’m not interested in being limited by what other people think of me personally or their perceptions of the choices I make. I love that statement that our stars may have been shining too brightly for them. The only person to whom I need to remain true and authentic to is myself, so that I can in turn be the wife, mother, sister, coworker, etc. that I was destined to be. That might have been a little much to digest in third grade, but the important part is that the lesson was eventually realized.

        Have a fabulous day, ladies!

  11. I was told that I was “Too Old” to be starting my own business. This only pushed me harder to prove them wrong. Three years later I have one of the fastest growing most sought after wedding photography and cinematography business in the tri-state area.I have always been one to feed off of negative feedback and this was the kick I needed!

  12. Wow – this could NOT have come at a better time!

    As someone who very recently left her corporate job to live a more fulfilling and meaningful life, I’ve dealt with a lot of little escalator moments over the past few months. I graduated from Georgetown and started working in consulting. When I left what was considered the “norm” for my fellow grads (i.e. consulting, banking, finance, etc) to start my own business, everyone thought I was crazy. I was told that I should just keep in on the side, and that I didn’t go to Georgetown to “just start a blog.” Well, those moments just made me (and continue to make me!) even more determined to grow Quarter for Your Crisis into a movement and community to inspire and empower millennials to turn their passions into a greater purpose. We can only preach for so long; at some point, we need to take that leap of faith! I’ve realized that the more I start telling people about my business and the more confident I am in our mission, the more faith others have in me as well.

    Thanks for another great, inspiring video, Marie!

    • Jordan,

      That’s such a great point about your own confidence in your mission being the fuel that kept others interested and believing in you.

      When my sis and I first started our podcast a few months ago, I was a bit sheepish in telling people about it. Well…. we interview moms who are making money while spending time with their kids… and people were kinda like, “oh ok, sounds greeeeeeeeeeat.”

      Now, a few months later, we’re all, “We’ve built this community of women who are committed to growing their businesses. They’re chatting with us on a daily basis, and we’re keeping each other motivated, sharing advice, struggles, and cheering each other on. It’s pretty great, and you should come be a part of it!”

      It’s amazing the difference, right?

      Glad we at least had the confidence to keep going and push past those first few months of uncertainty!

      I still think some of my other SAHM friends think I do just what they do – hang out with my son, and play around online.

      Nope! It’s completely different when you’re growing something that can make a difference versus joking around on Facebook.

      Marie – I love terd muncher! Too funny! My new favorite phrase 🙂

  13. I’ve definitely had trouble with how to react to people in these moments. My biggest issue is from the health journey I’ve gone through where I’ve learned so many things about food, health, wellness, my body, etc. I sometimes forget that others have not gone through this journey with me, so I often encounter individuals who still believe in the main stream schools of thought.

    Often times I find this frustrating and let it bother me, but I do realize that I need to take it as an opportunity to test my knowledge on what I’ve learned. I also have to realize that not everyone has come to the realizations that I have just yet and maybe down the road they will.

    Thanks for the motivation Marie!

    • Janet, I often forget this too! It’s so difficult to see from that old perspective sometimes. I’ve come to realize that what took years to develop for me isn’t going to happen overnight for most people. It’s frustrating dealing with negative comments from people who don’t get it–or complete non-engagement. I feel that a lot of people’s tendencies are to block and ignore. I’ve got to cultivate patience. Thanks for the reminder.

  14. Natalia

    Oh, Marie! This episode touched me deeply.

    One of the first jobs I had when I moved to the US in 2006 was as a hostess at a restaurant in Times Square. One of the managers there couldn’t stand me at all and he would find any opportunity to humiliate me in front of others, including customers. My accent and limited vocabulary were the fuel to his hate. He was merciless. Some action was taken by management after an offensive incident.

    Anyway, fast forward to this day and I have become a translator. I’m passionate about helping others understand each other. I don’t underestimate others by how they talk and try to take the time to “get” what others are saying. You don’t know their stories but we all are human beings and deserve respect.

    The last thing I heard about that guy is ironic — he moved back to his hometown to work as an ESL teacher. I doubt to this day of his intentions and commitment to helping others.


  15. when I told my ex I was leaving him he said “you couldn’t put one foot in front of the other without me”. Truth was he was tripping me up the entire marriage and it was HE who could not manage without me.
    Now I joke about that comment when I deposit a huge check or get a fantastic new client.

    • Bridget,
      I had something similar happen when I left my ex – as I left a job I’d been at for 11 years and signed divorce papers that same day. My ex always said he was supporting my efforts to start a business, while really he was sabotaging me in so many ways. Amazing how sometimes we think the person we love most, is really toxic isn’t it?

      Anyways, my sister and I have a business and now it’s moving from just being US based to expanding into Southern Africa….I couldn’t do that if I were still listening to his negative advice! Rock on Bridget!

    • Jeeyoung Park

      Wow. It’s amazing just how much I blamed myself for all the things I couldn’t do for my ex. In trying to contort myself into what he wanted – sad, weak, and less-than him, (which I admit, was my choice, not his) I let go of some of the most valuable and energy boosting habits in my life – being kind, compassionate, having healthy boundaries, pursuing something that I loved to do in the spirit of service – social entrepreneurship – and traded that in for his victim mentality, binge-eating, binge-drinking, binge-dating, and binge-blaming. Losing these essential parts of myself was the best thing that happened to me. I used to be unsure of what makes me who I am, now there’s no fucking way I would ever miss an opportunity to express how I actually feel or let thoughts of self-doubt hinder my progress.

  16. Amy

    My gut punch was when I was consulting with a woman to do my social media promotion. As I briefly told her the history of my business (it was really a very strange series of “events”) and what and where I wanted to go with it. She looked at me and very bluntly said “You have no business being in business.” I didn’t hear anything she had to say after that. But my mind was screaming…”Oh yeah Bi***?! I’ll show you!!”
    Since that fateful day, I have tripled my annual revenue…BAM!

  17. marilia

    Love the video. Thanks for the episode.

  18. Cheryl H

    I’ve got TWO elevator moments–both took place within months of each other. Many years ago, days after I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree and days before my husband and I were getting married, my mom told me that I would never go on to graduate school to do a Clinical Psychology because, once women get married they get too involved with the marriage and domestic stuff to pursue things that big. Then, within a couple of months of that punch, I called a professor who had previously written a letter of recommendation for me to ask if she would write another one this year as I applied to graduate schools. Her response? “I have NOTHING to recommend about you.” (Emphasis hers.) No kidding! Talk about a punch! Needless to say, I got into graduate school and got my Ph.D.!

  19. Michelle

    I have to thank both of my ex-husbands — because of the way they treated me, I have gone on to totally reboot my life — moved 4 states away, started my business (which is finally taking off!) and am happy, healthy, and loved. Most importantly, I am of great value, I am healthy, and I have an abundant life full of joy & hope that likely I would never have had otherwise.

    The greatest way to get back at someone who has wronged you — especially someone who has abused you, belittled you, and made you feel worthless, useless and hopeless? Go forth and live — really live — with great joy.

  20. Several years ago I was told I was told “Well let’s face it, you’re not a very good designer…” and that I was no good at what I did. It definitely pushed me to prove myself even more and over 3 years later and I’ve been running my own business as a designer for more than 2 years! I’ve spoken at 10 industry events and conferences and have more work on than before, working with people and businesses all over the world.

    I’ve always been determined to prove myself, but I’ve realised only recently how much a push that gave me to show how good I really can be if I put my mind to it. Don’t ever let those negative thoughts creep into your head – just use it as fuel to burn away for the fire that is inside of you. 🙂

  21. My escalator moment was actually a lot of moments. My ex constantly told me my ideas were stupid, and that I was never going to do anything. Not only did I support him (because he didn’t work for years) with a more than full time job, I also started two online businesses. I spent all my time not at work working on these two businesses and they are both doing really great! We are now divorced… and now I just run my businesses full time. I’m actually opening a brick and mortar store right now. I always think about how wrong he was whenever I have a good day or a bad day and it encourages me to do even better.

  22. I had a friend (not a friend anymore) who after I took the leap to start my own business as a lifestyle coach after being in IT for 20+years, asked me “So when are you going to get a real job?” I can still recall the shock I felt in his comments. Crushed me, considering I had been investing every waking moment to creating this new business, from assembling a team, designing and managing the website and my brand and obviously thought he supported my venture. NOT
    Needless to say, his lack of support as my friend continued to show its ugly face and I moved on from that person.

  23. Oh My,

    Is that “hobby” line the new hard-wired put down by men?

    I love it when I get asked if I make all my “little bracelets” in my basement.

    I reply, “Well, golly, I could (I say shyly)…but what would my manufacturers do?” (I ask innocently).

    A heard a great line about what entrepreneurs can expect…only I tweaked it for female entrepreneurs:

    As an entrepreneur, you can expect crap…criticism, rejection, assholes and pressure.

    As a woman entrepreneur, you can expect crAp…criticism, rejection, ASSHOLES and pressure. Big on the assholes.

    Thanks for sharing and allowing me to vent….

    Love the show!

  24. I had a supervisor (I am grateful I am no longer at that company!) ask the team for ideas for some on-the cheap marketing. I was the only one who submitted anything–to her only, via email, per her request. She replied, copying the entire team with my ideas and stating for all, that the ideas were, in her opinion, not very “forward thinking.” OUCH! Never mind that my ideas brought in 10% of my total sales for the year before beyond the company leads I was provided. Same supervisor who, when she was new to us I asked, “Describe your leadership style?” She could not answer that question. But boyoboy did I find out from her behavior. Now I am building a business and life I love and it gets better every day, by taking my ideas and fueling them with what I learned from b-school. I am grateful for that comment because it sure lit my fire up big time. I am on the cusp of getting my first design studio lease and I would say that is forward thinking.

  25. CW

    Video taken down.

  26. I’ve been fortunate to have had a successful career as a freelance artist for many years now, but I didn’t get started in this gig until my late twenties. I always doodled as a kid, however. I remember my high school Physics teacher snatching a doodle away from me during class one day, crumpling it up and saying, “You’re never going to get anywhere drawing pictures all day.”

    Now from an adult perspective, I can appreciate his frustration at trying to teach a class and being ignored by a distracted student and I can forgive him for what he said because I really wasn’t paying attention when I should be.

    So while I hold no ill will toward him, I still hear that statement in my head every once in a while and it makes me smile, since I now make very good living drawing pictures all day.

  27. As a male, it’s no different.
    The usual response to me saying I sell online is “Oh eBayyyy?!”
    Said with a knowing look that actually makes THEM look brainless!
    Being a male, I am supposed to be out earning mega bucks while wifey stays at home.
    Yeah right, she earns more than me but supports me mentally and not financially.
    So ignore the haters (they are jerks) and do what you want to do.
    Oh, and Marie – you are HOT ;0)

  28. Jen

    Short to the point and inciteful – another great video – Thanks Marie!

  29. Hi Marie. Love your top by the way. I had a friend tell me about how she had been working late to meet deadlines. And I heard her and I was telling her how I work late sometimes too and it’s a good time because the house is peaceful as I have young children too, and her insult was to tell me her work was actually ‘real’ work. I am developing a healing practice and run self care and heal your life workshops and women’s groups. I felt she was undermining my value and inflating her sense of self importance.

  30. Yes! Yes! Yes! My old biz partner did not believe in me and put me down and I felt my toxic career and jumped into my profession/purpose doing what I love as a medium, motivational speaker, Soul Coach, and author!
    Also, recently my boyfriend (now Ex) made fun of me-when I told him I was giving my query letter to a famous spiritual author whom I admire! Really, Who does that?….I choose to only surround myself with people who lift me up and I agree-I Thank the “No Goers” for it only made me stronger and believe in myself even more!
    When people do not support who you truly are and your dreams and life purpose-it is time for them to go! They are just reflecting their own Poo on to us peeps who are doing something amazing in life!
    Thanks Marie-I just love and adore you! Your the best! When I have the capitol I am def taking your B School-and FYI Mastin Kipp gave you made compliments on your B School in his workshop the other week in Minneapolis!

  31. I’m a women’s portrait photography who’s studio is based out of my home. I was meeting with a non-for- profit partner for a charity that has nothing related to my business. She brought up wanting glamour portraits during one of our commitee meetings. I set up a separate date for her to come in and we talked about a session. She then told me people don’t take me seriously coming into my home for a portrait session. That I looked Unprofessional and shady. Now that never occurred to me because at the time business was great. My home is beautiful and inviting and portrayed the feel I wanted my clients to have while they were with me. So although it bothered me that she said that I proceeded unaffected. It wasn’t until a few months later another woman who owned a boutique said the same exact thing. This time it really hit me. I know I should’ve felt fueled to continue on and prove it works for me and my clients or maybe e fueled to find a studio but I let it block me
    I let my emotions control me and to this day I am affected. I feel inadequate and that somehow even my talent is compromised simply because of my location , mind you that I was once proud of. Now I don’t invite clients into my home. I don’t even get clients anymore. I’ve let those comments affect me in such a way I’ve never before that I’m stuck. I wish I had or could tap into the ability to let that spark go ablaze in my advantage.

    • Rebecca,
      I read an article recently about ‘firing your customers’ and it seems to me, that in those two instances, you had the right to fire them. When someone disses you – your place of business – and in your case, your home, you have every right to stand your ground and stand up to them.

      My question to you is: why has it bothered you to the point you stopped doing what you love? When you have a lovely home (probably nicer than many other people’s) to use as a background for photography, where you understand the lighting, colors etc, it only goes to show you know your stuff and those criticizing it do not. Dust off the camera and get yourself back out there! You’re good at what you do now you need to share it. 🙂 Hugs!

    • Vicky

      Rebecca I know how you feel & one person’s comment cured me so I hope it can cure you too!

      After I got divorced, through many direct and indirect comments, my parents and my ex let me know that I could never make it on my own alone with 2 small children and a house that needed lots of repairs.

      I kept on going to work every day, doing the best I could as a mom and figuring out repairs on my own with twist-ties and YouTube videos, but I always felt depressed and like a loser because I felt that I wasn’t great at anything and they were right. While I was at work I felt like a bad mom, and when I left work to take care of my kids I felt like a bad employee, and my house was OK but not the modern clean well-organized home I would be proud to show people.

      The first man I dated after my divorce asked me why I always put myself down and I said something about how I would never make it on my own, and then he said the magic words, “But you’re DOING it! You’re already doing it!” It felt like the sun burst out of the clouds and I was immediately bathed in warm sunshine!

      Whenever I get depressed I think of those words – maybe I was struggling & not doing everything perfectly, but the more important point was that I was handling “it” (everything)! Also I was foolishly ignoring all the positive results of what I was doing and all the positive people who liked me, loved me, and/or needed me!

      You did it too! You set up your house for a warm setting for photos, and clients loved it! (I used to go to an expensive doctor in the past who had his office in his home so it IS something that professionals often do! Those 2 women are jealous morons!)

      So when those negative comments come to mind, immediately push them back into the blackness and ignore them and focus on all the clients who called you and paid you and loved your work – THAT’S the reality! Not some snippy little comments from some grouchy old know-nothing A-holes – who cares about their stupid opinions?! They were probably jealous because they’re paying exorbitant prices to rent boutiques that nobody goes to, but you have an innovative idea so good that you have lots of clients who love your work and are glad to come to your home studio!

      Just think – some of your happy past clients may want to recommend you to their friends or get more pictures done themselves, but they haven’t seen you post anything in awhile and may be afraid you went out of business – hurry up and get something out there so you can get lots of loving new clients coming in! (And if more d-bags come in, just grit your teeth and ignore their comments and think of the day when you’re so rich you can tell them to get the hell out of your home studio!) Just remember: You DID it! You set up a business in your home and people came and paid you – you are ALREADY a SUCCESS!!

  32. Great message!!! And women, according to my experience and research, are much more sensitive to hurtful words than men. I remember my husband of 18 years telling me, after we separated, in response to my plea to get counseling with, “The marriage isn’t the problem, you’re the problem.” Marriage ended and with that a cushy lifestyle, but I got to work, started my own training firm and am now happily married again. (Also my step mom told me no one would marry someone in her late 40’s with 3 kids and no $.) Guess again!!!!

  33. Great episode, thank you, Marie for sharing this. I totally agree, those ‘escalator moments’ can be a most precious resource, if we know how to turn them into fuel. I also have this streak in me, I call it my ‘spirit of defiance’. But instead of going directly into an “I’m going to prove this” mode, I do it slightly differently.
    In my understanding, everything that I experience in the outer world is a reflection of something within myself. This means that if someone makes a patronizing, condescending comment (as in your example), I’d ask myself: “In what way am I putting myself down? Is there a part within me that is not believing in me?” Sure enough, something pops out of the woodwork, and I’m then able to deal with it in a respectful way. Such events always help me to build my inner strength and clarity.

  34. Mine came about 2 years ago and it was major fuel to my fire. I was told by a member of my Board of Directors (I was the Executive of a Foundation) that my curly hair was unprofessional. Yes, my curly hair. Forget the impressive numbers and management- my hair.

    So now I only wear it curly and enjoy using my voice (and hair) for good. Here’s to more women rocking their passion and personality to make their life the best.

    As always Marie- Thanks.

    Curly Hair Don’t Care,

    • Tea

      I have curly hair and I had a similar experience! A boss from one of my former jobs told me to tie my hair up or straighten my hair because she thought my curly hair frightened customers. I was horrified! In a few weeks I left that job and never looked back. I always wear my hair curly now, and it’s become one of the many ways I evaluate which companies are worth working for.

      I also love the “curly hair don’t care”! 🙂

  35. Oh, I just had one of those a month ago. But it was in a different way. He actually ment to be “nice” to me…
    Together with my sister I was catering a big two day event, an off-road bike competition in northern Norway. After lunch the first day I run into this guy who in english ask if I’m the one responsible for the food, whitch I was. He then says it was the best food ever and had it not been for the fact that he was already taken he would have made me his wife. That was pretty much the essence, but he used more words. So it was no way to misunderstand that the best thing that could happened to me career wise was to get married. He pretty much just ridiculed 15 years of hard work. If he had been 75 years old and with a twinkle in his eye, it could have been charming, but to get it from someone mid-thirties was just creepy. As it turned out he was this years star cyclist, who they had paid to travel across half the world to take part in the race.
    So what good came out of it? A clearer sense of who I am, what I know and that I’m skilled at what I do. Also this was the last year of catering this competition, as the money does not match the work and effort it takes to pull it off.

  36. Awesome, Marie!
    Little people belittle. Way to prove him wrong! Way to refuel with his Hater-ade! He is probably on your MarieTV list now (under an alias!)
    As always, you rock!

  37. Whenever people do it, I just think of this music and it all the bad energy goes away:

    I don’t know why but I get the felling this is something Britney heard and turned it around in her benefit.

  38. I’ve fell in love with graphic design when I was 16. My father’s reaction to the news was to scream and shout and bang every door in the house. I was trembling in fear but stood my ground. More than 16 years later he is still trying to steer me towards a different career path and calls my work “doodles” 🙂 In the meantime I’ve traveled to NY (I am from Cyprus, a Mediterranean island), attended one of the best schools around for graphic design, have worked with some great names and love every minute of creation that comes my way. I wish I knew how to thank him for that moment in a way that he would understand 🙂

    • Tea

      Stella, I admire how you turned your father’s reaction into fuel to go after your dream in graphic design. When I was younger, all I wanted to do was go into design or arts, but once I hit the end of high school nearly all the adults in my life – parents, teachers – told me to find a ‘realistic’ job in something else. Since then it’s been a battle to return to doing what I love most. Reading your story just now reminded me of this. Thanks for making an inspiring moment for me this morning 🙂

      • Hey Tea, I am humbled at the thought that I could inspire anybody and delighted at the same time. I met a lot of naysayers throughout the years too and we were probably told similar things. The way I deal with them is to remind myself that they are expressing their fears not facts and I also hang on to that moment right after I’ve created something that I know is good. It lasts for about a split second but it’s absolute bliss 🙂 Follow your heart and good things will come!

  39. I’ve had 2 ‘elevator moments’ but the one that sticks with me the most is when I went to a very successful guy that I was dating for business advice. I was just joining a direct marketing company and wanted his advice. He told me to not even waste my time trying to run a business, sale products, etc. He told me I’d be much more suited to work on a cruise ship or resort teaching aerobics classes. I politely thanked him, erased his number from my phone and jumped into Network Marketing! I’m loving it and ding well!!!

  40. Personally I can’t pinpoint a specific event, but I know I’ve had them. I tend to be more sensitive about them rather than using them to fuel my fire. This video a great reminder to take things, flip them, and use them to your advantage. Thanks Marie!

  41. I concur completely with this! I turned what was perceived as a liability in working with “those” types by listening to my inner voice tell me how to brand my business. Tugboat is a metaphor for myself (4’10”) woman working in a field dominantly primarily by men. It’s also a play on the type of work we do, little (firm) boat guiding big boats (publicly traded companies). Totally disarms those types right out of their misguided perceptions and puts a smile on their face at the same time.

    Great insight Marie…
    And way to go for not kicking that dude squarely in the ass. 😉

  43. So many elevator moment, quite every week but at least it give me the kick in the ass I need.
    Last time It was my mum, who suggest that my activity will never make enough money for living.
    Life is great because few days later we were going to a lunch and someone completely fall on me, devastated by a lost, in need for answer, and my mum as see me in action, and she understand what my job mean, what my guidance mean.

  44. Q

    Bonjour Marie,

    I appreciate that you continued your business and its flourishing now because the world needs that special thing that only You have!

    I’m intrigued by the notion that the ones that infuriate us the most are our best teachers and commonly one of our many soul mates, which we call into our life.

    Also, how we can call positive people into our lives to inspire us instead of escalator moments to motivate us. Taking action from inspiration of what we do have as opposed from motivation of what we don’t have.

    Thank you for continuing the conversation 🙂

    With love and gratitude for MarieTV,


  45. Someone in my life always use to say, “Good luck with that,” in a condescending tone whenever I have a great idea. It use to discourage me. But, I did it anyway and succeeded. Then, she noticed my successes and now she really does wish me well and is starting to believe she can create victory in her life too!

  46. Hi Marie!! I love how we are each others reflection, voice, and message givers of an affirming nature. Your email came today, I saw the subject line, and OH BOY, it was like a message from GOD, affirming that my message I have to share about copyright infringement of artist and creative works, is valid and necessary to the masses. Just yesterday, I stopped by a FB group I joined (like many others) in the art world, and yet another question was posted about how to get around copying someones work to make it your own. It was a perfect opportunity for me to share my perspective and knowledge about copying others creative endeavors. I was upbeat in my comments and thanked the perpetrator for having the Integrity to ask what was legal, and best, and following the advice of fellow artists to higher Integrity in her passion and work as a portrait painter VIA painting from another artists photograph. (Not cool to do without permission from the photographer, who found out she was doing that, painter got caught, and wondered why photograpaher was upset and threatening to sue). I was landblasted by the Group Moderators (etsy folks) for bringing that copyright crap to their group all the time. Get out of here was the message. Yes, it hurt, my mouth fell open, others also said what I said, but I got targeted. So, after about 5 minutes, I realized: AHA, I hit the correct target for my message. My message is not going to sit well with those who DESIRE to steal others creative ideas and works. Of course I am going to get criticised. KEEP Going anyway. Buck up!! If I intend to help spread this message, I better find a way to share it so it is heard, and I better allow space for the criticism and slammed doors. The perpetrators don’t want to hear they are doing anything wrong. I don’t like being the type person who makes people wrong either. So, that one MOMENT gives me feedback to either rework the message, or get off the soapbox. My inner question is” Do I have the balls and stamina to keep going and do more? Thanks Marie!! Important message for all of us to Integrate. Cheers

  47. YES. Have already been there! (I just launched my site in June, and am still creating my sell-able materials – as I build my audience and continue to develop great content on the site itself.)
    I had one woman who was so ignorant – she didn’t seem to realize she was eating her own words. In one breath, she’s telling me that, yes, she seeks opportunities to network…. She’d add her little cheeky sayings to back that up – such as “a high tide lifts all boats” – Then, in the next breath, she’s telling me I’m “too green”. Wait, what? ‘Newer’ (green) boats don’t rise with the tide??? Really? Then I found a typo in the product I’d just purchased from her. I had to contact her to find out about a specific measurement for a recipe that was omitted. Could feel her tail between her legs on that one. But that’s beside the point. The point is – I didn’t take to heart her other put-downs about how I was creating my website. It’s different – and it’s supposed to be different. I’m very much about individuality, taking risks, and putting myself out there – in true to form. We have to be soft and strong at the same time, right? I have a future article about that topic swirling around up in the ol’ noggin’ right now. 😉 May take more time – but we’ll get there – even without their ‘camaraderie’. They aren’t worth your steam. Put that steam into your own engine and fuel yourself further down the tracks, baby! Still would like to find more of that blue ocean out there though. Disappointing to keep finding the bloody pools….

  48. My escalator moment happened in college. I was a magazine journalism major and I was struggling to get editors to let me write for their magazine to get clips for my portfolio before graduation. I went to one of my professors and told him my concerns and instead of encouraging me he said, “You’re never going to make it in this business. You might as well just change your major and give up right now.” I was so pissed off I immediately went to my computer and fired off emails to anyone and everyone I could think of and interestingly enough today marks seven years that I have been self-employed as a freelance writer and photographer! So screw that professor. I am a success!

  49. Loved that! When I was about 13 I was into athletics and asked my sports teacher why there was no girls’ pole vault event at the regional competition. ‘Girls don’t do pole vault, my dear’ she said.
    You bet I got my skinny little butt to a (men’s) coach and started training. Because we were not well off, I managed to convince my school to give me a grant to buy a pole.

    After a year or two, I got all the way to the national finals and won a silver medal. I was still pretty crappy at it, but I didn’t care – that wasn’t the point 😉

  50. Wow Girl,
    You really got me with this one. I have spent the last year refueling, recovering, and healing from the loss of my business, my home and my parents. The worst part about it is that it is my parents who wiped me out financially and emotionally. Crazy right? As it turns twenty five years of helping my parents create wealth and security has left me broke but not broken. They siphoned off my accomplishments for themselves while hammering me with criticism and abuse. Though I don’t have an MBA from Harvard, actually Im a high school drop out. I am an idea machine, that has created successful businesses and wealth for someone else. I am a trend spotter creating marketing campaigns that actually worked and in general worked my ass off. I have finally hit the bottom of the pool and am now heading toward the surface again. I am passionately rebuilding my life and business, this time for my family’s benefit. No more theft of my strengths, talents and yes intelligence. My husband and I are on this mission together and are using the rocket fuel of doubt, degradation and abuse to create biz magic. He just quite his job of 18 years tapped the 401K and we pushed restart. Houston we have lift off!

  51. That guy was a jerk. I’ve dealt with put-downs as well, but I don’t know if I’ve ever had anything that direct and in-your-face.

    Recently it was people seeing my blogging as a bad expenditure of time (really, I wouldn’t have done anything at the time if I wasn’t blogging). My blog is about how we relate to various media and the core of a story, and within 3 months (just recently), out of the blue a film company in California contacted me with 3 tweets in 5 minutes, interested in me writing scripts for them- and the blog was a part of them wanting me. They said “Very good first writer we have seen with this approach.” Many script writers are chomping at the bit, and I was just doing my own thing!

    Actually had a troll just yesterday too. Called me illiterate when I commented on an article. I was agreeing with a person that if somebody isn’t enjoying classical literature, they should put down the book (for the time, anyway). I have no problem with somebody disagreeing with me, but really?

  52. Firstly, I haven’t heard “turd-muncher” in a while and I thank you for that.

    I’m a naturopathic doctor and blooming entrepreneur, having opened my own private practice fresh out of medical school almost 2 years ago. I’m young, I’m practicing integrative medicine (which is still a new concept for many people), and I cannot tell you how many “oh that’s so nice, dear” statements I’ve gotten since even before I started. When I had my grand opening of my office, my landlord looked around and said “wow, this actually looks like I real office…I thought you were just going to twiddle your thumbs down here.” And my favorite….”Did you actually write this business plan yourself? It’s actually really good.” I could go on…but I’m in the same boat as you, Marie. I see how what I do helps people every day, and those kind of statements make me want to take care of business even more than I was doing before (without burning myself out, of course). At the end of the day…I know what I’m all about and where I’m going so they can keep on nay-saying.

  53. JEV

    Thanks Marie – Had a similar experience yesterday. I am publishing my first book, which has been a work in progress, and is the launching pad to my new career. Yesterday I shared with my colleagues at work that I submitted my manuscript to my publisher and one of the senior managers said “So who do you think is really going to read it?” He said it in such a derogatory tone that it caught me off guard.

    I know there is only one me, that my story is unique, and that my healing journey has been amazing and something to share with the world and even if one person reads it and gains something from it, then it was worth all my efforts!

    You are so right, misinformed turds like him can indeed put fuel to the fire… lol!

  54. Hi Marie and all you lovely people here <3 wuhu!

    Well, thank you for this, such a fresh take on this issue. Well, I just launched my webshop with handmade organic skincare, and I have the biggest passion for this. I've been spending the last two years, getting the first beauty cream (daycream) just perfect. I gave a sample of the cream to this "friend", well actually I ended up giving her 5!! Because, everytime, something was wrong with it, from her perspective. Then one day, when getting a friday evening cocktail at this bar, she totally verbally assaulted me and my cream, yelling: "Do you think you are the new Ole Henriksen, just because you can blend a cream in a kettle, that smells like catpiss and feels like it's filled with sand – how can you accept money for this crap product… etc..? And this was in front of a lot of other people who was with us that night. I felt devastated and very hurt for a long while, thinking my product might be no good.

    BUT, short thereafter I got myself on my feet again and now I feel even stronger than before, I also, like you Marie, really wanted to prove her wrong!! Now, 6 months after this incident, I get so much amazing feedback from people who have bought my products, who loves them and having healed several skin issues. SO just because one person don't like what you're doing (or is maybe just jealous), DON'T give up – if it feels right for you, it IS right.

    Love, Mette

  55. It happens to me all the time, mostly because I’m young and fearless, and doing things very differently. I went to college in a different country and continent, I backpacked at 16, refused a very good job that would have been great for my career 2 month ago. And the last one, I’ve sold all my stuff and moving to the west coast even though I have a very good life where I live.

    I think that because I’ve made very different choices from a young age, I’m starting to be immune from all the comments. Being different and taking risks is who I am and I’m O.K with it.

    So, fortunately my family are starting to get used to it (they still have their moments) and I found very supportive friends of my decisions.

    What I usually find is that the persons that are making the most hurtful comments are the ones that don’t know anything, haven’t experienced a similar project themselves.

  56. Talk about laws of attraction —this episode is right on the money$$$
    I received an email from a woman who purchased my reading program who basically said I need to chuck my entire methodology, and stop being a dis-service to my current (very satisfied/successful) client base (yada yada yada). This encounter paralyzed me for 2-days; couldn’t sleep (wish I couldn’t eat, cause this encounter drove me straight to the fridge), or think of anything else. I’m embarrassed to admit, that like a mama bear protecting her cub, I knee-jerked and fired back asking who died and left her Queen of Sheeba; 2 days later I received a lovely Amazon endorsement review from the President of the National Right to Read Foundation.

  57. I loved this video and your story re-ignited my passion for why I do what I do and helped me to remember that it was an “escalator moment” I experienced early on that drove me to say “I am going to succeed at this no matter what!” Three years ago when I resigned from my corporate structured job my supervisor asked me why on earth I was resigning. I answered with a lot of enthusiasm that I was venturing out on my own and starting my own private skin care practice. Being a licensed Aesthetician, I felt it was my time to take the plunge and create my own destiny now that I had 5 years under my belt working in my industry. My supervisor paused and asked me in a very snarky tone what made me think I had what it took to start a business in New York City. I was speechless at his lack of confidence in me. He then went on to say “reality check: don’t burn any bridges here because you WILL want to come back and freelance for us when you realize you need to earn money.” What could have crushed my confidence instead fired me up to say to myself “I will NEVER go back to my old company needing to freelance I WILL succeed at this and show them!” I am not usually a competitive person, but his comment showed me a whole different side of myself and I am proud to say I have been successfully working for myself for three years and look forward to the next thirty years as a successful entrepreneur. Thank you again for being a constant and consistent inspiration to all of us Marie~

  58. Awesome video and brilliant you used his foolery as fuel to fire you up.

    The previous job I worked in a startup where the whole 5 months of working there was like that – I worked with 3 guys, and was brought in as a director but had to constantly prove my worth to them even though I had more relevant industry experience than all 3 of them combined.

    I left to start my own company 🙂

    Here’s to soaring. We are worthy, ladies, and we don’t have to prove anything to anyone accept ourselves.

  59. So timely. I just deleted about 4 honest reviews I left on books about unassisted childbirth and EC on amazon because I’ve read them and found them to be extremely unhelpful. I deleted them because other people (um, yes, parents, who get pretty combative about parenting topics) were ripping on my reviews, which I put time and effort into. My take-away? I’ll let others write negative reviews if/when they wish…but I don’t like how it feels to get backlash from sharing my opinion. I let it sting, and I can’t find any value in it, and so I choose to not do it. Sort of a tangent off what you’re saying, I think, but I love how this video complements what I just experienced and learned.

  60. Just yesterday, I received an email from a colleague, it was a reply to another person who was looking for a developer, and this colleague was offering me as a suggestion (with a couple of others). What was said was that I was “great technically, but not the highest in creativity.”

    Now, I know that I am no Picasso, but damn, I try…

  61. I often work with clients on adopting the perspective that everything in our experience- as in EVERY SINGLE THING – happens for a reason, and it happens FOR us, for our benefit.
    Everything teaches, and the ‘bad’ stuff teaches most of all (if we respond to it in the right way). So in a way, the bad stuff is really good for us 🙂
    We get ‘bad’ stuff because somewhere along the line we haven’t taken the hints that Life’s been sending our way (in response to our attracting them) and more than anything else Life wants us to learn ceaselessly – if necessary we have to learn the hard way. This is true in the macro (wars etc.) as well as in the micro (elevator moments) and everything in between.
    Of course what really matters is how we respond to our crap experience – learning from it is the best we can do. As Shakespeare wrote, “nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so”.
    Perhaps heaven is not needing any bad stuff any more because we’ve reached the best we can be?

  62. I started my consulting company 7 months after I left my husband (taking our 2 year old with me!) and 11 months after my mother died. When bringing my son over to his place one night, he said in a nasty, derisive tone that I would never make it and predicted that I’d be back in the full-time workforce within a year. Well, here I am, FIFTEEN YEARS later, with my business on the cusp of skyrocketing to a whole new level of success.

    While my ex’s craptastic comment may have provided the fuel to keep me going during that first year, what’s been infinitely more motivating has been my desire to put parenting first, really being there for my son, be truly and meaningfully engaged with him. I am deliriously happy to say that he started his freshman year of college last month. Yay, we made it! 🙂

  63. Ian

    Hi Maria.

    My thoughts… I guess even wankers can be useful!

    I am male, and have utmost respect for your success. You are an inspiration.


  64. Marie,
    How did you know that this happened to me just recently? Sometimes you scare me (but in a good way!) I just started my business this year (thank you B School) and have a bit of traction that made me feel ready to “Pitch.” Not looking for investors, but seeing it as a personal and professional opportunity to grow as a entrepreneurial leader. At the end of the pitch, before the VC panel gave their feedback, a VC in the audience spoke up about how my business was “niche” and no “repeatable business”, blah, blah, etc. I took his feedback without responding (because, the rule is not to answer back in that setting.) But I was seething inside because I felt blind-sided. The curious thing is that I got feedback from the panel publicly and privately that was constructive – e.g,, praising my listening to customers as the way to build momentum. In fact one serial entrepreneur offered to conduct a brainstorming session at his offices because he has ideas to consider in response to the criticism. So I learned that even when you want to fall through the floor, the Universe has eyes and ears, hearts and minds to witness and then to elevate you. P.S. The meeting organizers took pictures of the event so I have a picture of me presenting with authority and a picture of the Jerk actually pointing a finger at me across the room. I have those pictures tacked to the wall side by side to continue to fuel my determination to build a great Company.

  65. Lori Glier

    Dear Marie,

    Great video funny I was just so mad at a whole situation involving a used car and the safety of it and how things where handled.I went storming out so I could cool down.
    Yet when I truly began to think about this I thought of how they where making me become very creative in the game and how I want my company to have very high safety and Mental Wealth packages.I thought of everyones safety is like a deck of cards we never know what will happen , yet we can use our gut and make precautions in life.So maybe they thought I was this wimpy woman yet my safety and well being and my kids are very important.
    Love you heaps!

  66. Monique

    I had a student in my scholarship childbirth education class who challenged me on some of the information I gave to the class and tried to discredit what I had told them. She had expressed discontent with the material on a couple of occasions and sometimes sat looking bored or unhappy. I felt disrespected at this point and decided that I would excuse her from the class.

    I had always wanted to stay true to my values of supporting and empowering women for birth, so I decided to refund part of her tuition and to give her information to find another class that would fit her style and needs. When she responded with criticism and hostility, I kept to my values. I was angry, but I responded with compassion for choosing something that was not a good fit and trying to tough it out. I wished her well and let her know that I understood that the class did not fit her needs.

    I am grateful to this student because other than my divorce, I had never had the experience of truly knowing when something was not going to work. I knew what I was creating in my class and the experience that students had when they were my target audience. I didn’t feel guilty about asking her to leave, and I think it was a compassionate act to allow her time to find a better class for her. I am grateful because this time I got to see the problem before the conflict became a fight. I am grateful because I was able to practice a win-win situation by holding my power and allowing her to be powerful but not threatening to me. I also felt good that I didn’t feel stingy with the money. I never wanted to punish her, so the refund was the right move. The awesome thing is that I got 3 checks the next day that equaled double the amount I refunded! It came out of the blue, so I know I was practicing right action.

    • Alice Terpstra

      I think you did the right thing too. I spent twenty five years as a doula and childbirth educator and had this kind of client at least once a year. I think that gracious acknowledgement of the apparent values gap and prompt offering of refund plus referral to another agency or person is the best thing to do. It protects your reputation as a professional who is fair, compassionate and non judgmental. It took me a few bad experiences to figure that out. Good for you for doing it right the first time.

  67. Oh my gosh, I so can relate! I had a female dentist say that is people like me that help with the suicide rate amongst dentists because we cause them stress. I have a program that helps dentists find more joy and success through increasing their productivity. I blessed this woman, and continue to today. I went back to the drawing board, and created an even better program, that launches in the next few weeks.
    I knew that her comment was more about her, and not really about me, yet I used it for the betterment of all I serve.
    Loved this, thank you Marie!

  68. Ha! I work in financial services, the world’s last bastion of misogyny. I had a competitor tell me I’m “built like an 18 year old” [whatever that means] and then another competitor say to me, “So, does your Dad let you talk to the clients?” OMG.

  69. Cash

    Yes…Walken…and an escalator. LOL, i freaking love that video.

    Thanks for posting about this topic, as a photographer I constantly battle with this in a saturated diminutive environment. Love you Marie, love your style, and the outtakes are freaking hilarious. We need like a 30 minute B-roll of just funny stuff you say after.

    Keep it up girl.

  70. Sandra Rios Vital-ten Hoope

    Today a dear friend of mine posted that she had received a negative review of her wonderful book. Shared this video with her, no doubt it will cheer her up tremendously. Fully agree – nothing is as inspirational as someone doubting your abilities to succeed.

  71. Carolina Rodrigues

    In my early twenties I went back to college after traveling and experiencing the world a bit–an education in its own right. I was just two credits away from transitioning to a university so contacted them and asked to be admitted, as I was so close. The woman on the other end of the line said she would see what she could do but in all likelihood since I was a Latin female the chances that I’d graduate from a university were stacked against me and only 10% make it. Great coming from a woman but I took that as a challenge worked full time in high-tech, took 4-5 night classes a week and graduated with a 4.7 GPA. It served me and fueled me to show her and more so myself. A big thank you shout out to that woman at SJSU!

  72. There is a person in my professional circle whose default mode is to criticize whenever possible. But I LOVED talking to her. Why? Because most of her criticisms (of me or of others) were unfounded or inaccurate. So every time I spoke with her, I walked away fired up and inspired with a zillion blog post topic ideas. Her poor attitude led to her eventually losing her job and I miss the contact with her – only because of the creative inspiration she provided!

  73. Kirk

    Excellent post. Love the phrase, “totally ignorant chauvinistic piece of poop”. Dang girl, you are laying it down today!

    OK, so my moment came a little over a year ago when I was asked to be the headline speaker at a small business convention in another state. The audience was invited to leave anonymous feedback. One guy wrote a line that punch my ego right in the jaw and that I will never forget. His comment was, “Took 30 minutes to deliver a 5 minute speech”. Ouch.

    At first, I was hurt. Then as I grew more courageous, I reread it again and again — and eventually I came to thank him as you did. “Thank you dude for being honest and for driving me to prepare like crazy for every speech I ever give again! Woo!

  74. I’m going through this on a personal level. No one is in love with my idea of having a bohemian chic wedding on a budget, wanting me instead to go the traditional route, spend tons of dough on something that will flash by. It definitely gets discouraging, but the crazy thing about it, as Marie says, it’s motivates me to make the idea work even more. Thanks Marie! Love this episode!

  75. Bwa ha ha this is my favourite Marie video, ever! Heck yes I’ve had this. My fave is a guy who I met for the first time some friends; when he asked what I did his reply was “is that a ‘serious’ business then?”

    “What do you mean” I replied, “you mean one that makes good money or one where you wear a suit and go to meetings and talk about things with other people in suits?”

    “Aren’t they the same thing?” he asked “I have an idea for a business and it’s going to be a proper serious one”.

    That was several years ago and not exactly surprisingly, I heard his “serious business” didn’t work out.

    But why I love this story? Is that I started telling it to others to illustrate the difference between a business that thrives and one that just looks good – and someone walked up to me once and thanked me saying they were on the edge of being “that guy”, the one who thinks its all about “looking like a business person”, but now knew what to focus on instead.

    So I guess his words fuelled me to be super crystal clear with people about what a “serious business” really is (ie: so much more than wearing a suit or even having a slick website!) – and to never fall into that trap myself.

  76. Thanks so much for this epsoide!!

    My moment came when I was told…wait for it….because I was black I would never appeal to a wide enough pool of people be able to attain enough clients to support my business.

    At first I pretty much went to the floor, but then I picked myself up and said you clearly don’t know me or other humans.

    So yes…thank you for not believing in me, sir!!

  77. I tend to internalize “escalator comments” entirely too easily. Starting my own business has been a huge lesson in growing a bit of a thick skin.

    I have one acquaintance who asks me “are you looking for a new job yet?” every time I see him. These words are a punch in the gut to me. I mean, he could ask “how is your business going?” But that’s not happening.

    I’ve benefitted from this video & reading the stories in other comments. I really need to work on turning around my attitude on these escalator moments!

    • Answer..”No need to look for a new job, my __________ is making me a great living and I am my own boss. I love my life.”

  78. Great insight. I’ve had so many of these experiences. Often they come just as good feelings are surfacing around delivering something.

    A few years back I had just completed my first photographic exhibition & I was socially chatting with a group of people about photos. One guy just keep going at me with the same, nice hobby, did you have an inheritance kind of stuff. He asked what cameras I used & when I explained said “they sound like nice toys, they must be fun to play with.”

    It’s infuriating, but it’s also tragic, since it shows us the fear in their world.

  79. Dear Marie,
    I agree every moment that someone puts you down, we build a power not only to resist a next painful sensation but we stand up!
    #1 – proud to be Polish born US citizen
    in 1999 right after I set up my first business in Poland I was in Paris shopping for fabrics at Premiere Vision. Visited a traditional Austrian Loden company. Proudly wearing my last name badge – a man looked it my name and laughed saying:
    “Is it Polish name?”
    “Whats funny about that”
    the ignorant nationalist:
    “Oh, nothing its just funny, because only 100 years ago Poland didn’t exist but it was Austria…”
    This one comment changed my view of my birth for life. Despite 2000 years of Polish history and at times the country being quite a power (1400-1500) and Polish University being one of the first Universities in Europe and possibly the world, Italian famous princess marrying Polish King – Bona, I was discriminated based on my birth place.

    Over the year I have been discriminated by gender, age, birth, accent (nationality). I was punched in the stomach privately and cried my eyes in my car during lunch breaks to public humiliation at front of my subordinates by the CEO who mocked me and said that “my shoe landing on the cover of Footwear Plus magazine” in June of 2011 meant nothing for the company and nothing will translate into sales.

    That was my past.
    Today I stand strong and committed to me, just the way I was born and shaped by my gypsy existence of living in Gdansk, London, New York and Dallas. Traveling to countries like China, India, Brail, and most European countries made me aware of human kind and nature. I can read warmth and connection from the eyes of an Indian woman selling on a street in India or a girl in China and I can recognize ignorance and luck of cultural and human awareness on thousands faces I see in New York and other civilized places.

    I want to build my business and then help women.
    Education is the only way to affect future generations. Only educated and aware and alert individual can make the right choice of being a good person and help others.
    Thank you for your support!
    Monika Kusinska Paez

    P.S. I heard years later that the Austrian Loden company went out of business…

  80. Where do I start? Lol. Love this! I really have two names – a regular business name where I’ve been a successful lobbyist in male dominated industries for 25 years, and now am a life coach while doing non profit public policy work as a day gig. There’s been plenty there, but something else popped into my mind while watching your video for the best escalator moment. … My spiritual name is Shea, where I do my spiritual work. I was told by a former spiritual teacher – someone with whom I was extremely close, deep abiding love (ya da), and who kicked me to the curb (best thing that ever happened in my life! 🙂 – that I was crazy and unstable and would not succeed and that I should stop doing public ceremonies, teaching and work. It was one of the most surreal experiences of my life. Then he proceeded to tell others and wrote a nasty blog post about me, and he is an internationally known author. I lost some “friends” as a result, and I gained more than I lost. Um, yeah. Unfortunately, he viewed me as competition, though I never viewed it that way. I *always* go by the “fuel for the fire” idea. Anything like this? I use it to amp up my work, and that’s what I did here. Now? I am graduating my first two classes in a five year Mystery School that I started one year ago, getting ready to start my next round of the first three levels of classes, have grown our community FB page from 130 to 460 in a year’s time, better attendance at our ceremonies, and have created a new spiritual tradition and started our filings to become an officially recognized 501c3 by the federal government. Spirit of fire! 🙂 Thanks for doing these videos, they really speak to me and I love sharing them with others!

  81. Dawn

    Thanks for including the Christopher Walken video. My day needed a little shot of awesome.

  82. What a superb topic! I loved Marie’s video and reading everyone’s similar stories. I am in a position where a number of my friends, especially those in my profession, do not understand the business I’m building and imply scepticism that it’s a solid path, a meaningful path, or an appropriate path for someone with my degrees. I’m newly committed to letting their doubt and under-estimation of me heighten my determination!

  83. Patti

    That built in programming you speak of Marie is the only that has driven me in many ways to create and in life in general. My parents since I was a child told me I was just a dreamer and I’d never amount to anything, that I was wasting my time and energy with being creative or dreaming. While I watched that “abuse” destroy my sister it fuel’d me like a raging fire. I achieve everything I set out to do because of that program inside me. Reprogram your self immediately if that Is not built in. Thanks Marie that’s such a core tool to have in the bad ass box of success!!

  84. Yes yes yes yes yes! I love this topic!

    I decided many times over that a traditional 4-year university just wasn’t for me and because of that decision, was told that I would fail in life and wouldn’t be able to get jobs or support myself.

    Well, thank you very much for the motivation you non-believers! I put my savvy networking skills and insane determination to use and by 20 years old I was running a company for a multi multi multi millionaire. By 23, I was making 6 figures and had enough saved up by 26 to quit my job and start my own online business. WABAM!

    Today’s post was an awesome reminder to myself of my accomplishments and I thank you for it Marie. How easily we forget all the good we’ve already done when looking at all that is left to do!

    • I didn’t go to a 4 year Uni either and my family used to use that as a means to say I wouldn’t be successful in life. They were wrong LOL! Just goes to show our culture has particular attachment to what they deem leads to success ( traditional, institutional concepts) over the power of determination.

  85. charity

    My daughter, an aspergers, is my continuous trial. But I seek her out every time we butt heads because she needs to know 1. Someone has her back and 2. How to keep talking even when she wants to shut down. These are life lessons she has to learn. The sweet moments are there after I pursue her. She feels listened to.

  86. I cannot believe how rude and indeed ignorant that guy was! And sadly, this type of ignorant, thoughtless commentary is how prevalent in business, ESPECIALLY towards women in business? It’s crazy.

    Actually I haven’t received anything yet like that, but my husband receives these types of comments all the time. About everything and anything, by people who I don’t think even A. read his posts and B. have something to gain from bringing negativity onto his health site. Granted the majority of comments are extremely upbeat and add to the posts, but in the beginning it was indeed an issue and easy to take personally.

    Thankfully my husband is also an actor and so knows how to take rejection from going to casting calls that are more nos than yeses. I am sure that is actually part of the reason Marie why you were able to take the negative comment and turn it as an impetus to boost your motivation: you are a dancer and have probably also done casting calls.

    I on the other hand would read the negative, frequently crazy and insulting comments on his page and take them very personally. Here was a complete stranger insulting my husband over something that is obviously in their own mind and not based in fact or reality. When I confessed I felt this sensitive towards how people can act online ( and in person) a successful travel blogging friend of mine said ‘ That’s nothing. You want to see what happened to me?’ and proceeded to show me an ENTIRE forum devoted to bashing them. For the most ignorant reasons imaginable. It was actually scary. I asked her how she handled it at the time and she said it made her doubt everything she did, but eventually she pulled through it, wrote a rebuttal to the hateful critiques of her journey and the critics fell off one by one because they had actually imagined something that wasn’t there, and she proved that in her post.

    I really need to learn to deal with rejection in such a positive way, until then I try to share what I do with people I feel are my Ideal Client or that are in my peer group.

  87. Right on, Marie.

    I am a sparkly lawyer for entrepreneurs and recently had a hater regarding an article I wrote for — she commented that it was a horrible misrepresentation of reality and that I was an unschooled lawyer — interestingly enough, she is not a lawyer and what I wrote was the black letter law.

    I soooo wanted to respond with that but I let it go. Thank you, angry copyright activist for teaching me a lesson in patience and letting things go.


  88. If I could pinpoint the most nauseating offensive asinine moment in my career it was having the owner of, during a business meeting, tell me how he ‘likes black girls’ and ‘once you go black you never go back’ while the person I was working with, former co-founder of Technology Fusion, snickered as he licked his chops at the delicious check he was in hot pursuit of from this multi-millionaire, with a hope of transforming the entire building with smart home technology. To clarify, no, I didn’t fear this disgusting 900 year old zillionaire with a track suit on with furry silver hair infused with stripper glitter bursting out would risk all of the age-defying plasma work and touch without permission but the words went to the bone. Excusing myself to go to the restroom shortly after he then offered loudly, confidentially and boldly to join me while two of his assistants, (family men I later found out), turned green at the disgusting comments. On the way to the restroom I discovered ‘working girls’ who were skimpily clad and curling their extensions (gasp, wtf). After all of the water we sipped during our meeting Santa had to then go to the restroom, again, boldly inviting me, saying his balls were so big that he may need help to move them out of the way in order to relieve himself, in front of his two assistants and the person I used to work for. I held my professional NY game face, stuck to the meeting before one of the assistants saw the opportunity to drag me to the elevator and get me out. I am in the deepest appreciation for that man. The founder of the company I worked for laughed at the story about Nygards comments and simply didn’t care. I was then not paid for the entire month of work and the monies owed to me from a commissioned sale were withheld. To this day I have not been paid, to add to the disgust I experienced on all levels from such a verbal sexual assault. This affirmed my determination to to work for myself and I pushed harder than ever juggling three odd jobs to get Kissing Lions Public Relations started. Journalists, inbox me, I’m happy to tell it all.

  89. Great video! I’ve had, and continue to have, the same kind of “elevator experience” that Marie described. I am a horse trainer and I bought my own horse farm and started my own business when I was fairly young- 24 years old. Even now that I’m almost 34, I still have people, men and women, that say to me, “Oh so do you do this full time? Was this your parents farm?” I used to get so mad when people would say these things to me, but now I try to answer with pride and say, “No I don’t come from a horsey family, I actually bought this farm and started my business by myself ten years ago.” That usually stops people in their tracks! Thank you for continuing to inspire women entrepreneurs, Marie!

  90. I had an artist that I really liked and looked up to tell me that I will never make a living on my art alone. She said “No one does.” She said that I should be happy if I can sell my paintings for any price, that my prices are too high for an artist without a gallery( I’m not looking for representation) and then she sealed the envelope of crap with her opinion that my studio didn’t look like a real artist’s studio. It felt like being punched in the gut, and it stopped me in my tracks for a long time. Now I’m finally making moves to go forward and offer my paintings for sale.

  91. Hi Marie,

    This one really struck home with me. I had an experience with a total douchebag, that made me work harder in my life, to prove him wrong. And, to make it even worse, this douchebag was my TEACHER.

    When I was in seventh grade, my geometry teacher would greet me every morning with “Hey, Hollingsworthless.” Worthless. WORTHLESS.

    I spent every day of that year, being told I was worthless. That it was part of my name – HollingsWORTHLESS.

    I became determined to prove him wrong. Even though the other kids laughed at me. Even though I felt like shit, I held my head high, and mastered his math class. In fact, as a girl who “isn’t supposed to be good at math,” I got the highest grades in the class.

    I got a degree in Biology, and then a Master’s Degree in Ed Administration, and just finally finished my PhD in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) education.

    I’ve spent every moment of my life, proving I wasn’t worthless. So, now that I’m DOCTOR (and he’s not), I teach hundreds of teachers every year what demeaning your students can do to them. No teacher should ever be allowed to make their student feel worthless.

    Now, I not only teach at a university, I run a website for empowering women in science. I’m an author (written eight books, now working on my ninth), a motivational speaker, and an all-around badass chick.

    His put-down became the fuel that fired me up. I won, hands down.


  92. When I first became a Nutritional Therapist and was figuring out how I wanted to work in the field, a rep from a supplement company told me about a position at a chiropractor’s office. I interviewed with him and he loved my ambition and wanted to hire me! As I thought it over I realized that his focus (anti-aging, weight loss, and pain) wasn’t really what I felt passionate about (digestion and neuro). I also realized that working for him way across town would be getting another car and commuting, which was something I hated in the corporate world!

    After serious thought, I ended up turning it down. When I let the supplement rep know this he said, “I can’t believe you’re passing up such a great opportunity. Tell me one Nutritional Therapist you know who’s built a full-time practice without working for a Dr.”

    Well, I couldn’t tell him because I didn’t know anyone that had. I said, “I’m ok with being the first.” His comment really stuck in my mind as I got started because I knew I could prove him wrong!

  93. I’ve had tons of these experiences and many have been very painful. One of the first major attacks was very public.

    I was working in natural resources at the time and was asked to write book reviews for a professional newsletter. I read a very conservative book first that was loaded with misrepresentations of research done by others. I prepared what I thought was a balanced review, pointing out the misstatements and suggesting that critical reading was in order. I really believed that this would get other professionals thinking about the propaganda that we were all being exposed to and how it was so often disguised.

    The piece was published and I was literally destroyed by my peers. Up to that point, I had believed that being a woman in a field overwhelmingly dominated by men wasn’t that big an obstacle. However, the comments lambasted me as much for being a woman as they did for being a “liberal” (although it was really beyond that and I was accused of socialism and communism as the b-word and c-word rained down upon me). Wow.

    A few years later, I completely walked away from the profession and have found my own path, which does include some environmental activism.
    I needed that experience to push me off the fence and realize there was no middle ground in natural resources–you had to choose one way or the other (utilization with no bounds or protectionism) and be ok with the fact that the “other side” was not going to accept you. That has served me well and has given more power to my passion–I no longer feel the need to write balanced pieces so as not to upset anyone.

  94. A couple of years ago, the statue of David had to be taken indoors. Why? Because some ignoramus were using it to hang their laundry on for drying, and one or two people have pissed on it. There was also a problem with the pigeons pooping on it. Evidently, not even a master piece can get respect, sometimes. So we have to protect it. As for myself, I have been called sexy and cute, for the last 55 years. Believe me, this is not a compliment. Especially not when you are doing serious work and people ignore what you say and do, and chose to focus on your ass. Its a diversion tactic. Now, I am not talking about a few incidents with some idiots. I am talking about consistent, gender based, daily putdowns, which I have been subject to, for over 50 years. This is a social phenomenon. We live in a patriarchal world, and many people-both men and women, do not approve of an independent woman. They want you to be weak and helpless. They want you to stay at home and spend your life baking cookies for the church fund raising. Make no mistake about it- this is war! Its the war against independent women. You have to know everything about strategy and self defence. The desire to belittle women is deeply ingrained in the human psyche.

  95. I’ve had an elevator moment for every goal I’ve ever had. When I decided I wanted to go into private practice, EVERYONE told me it was a bad idea. I have actually been very successful in private practice, so I’m happy I ignored them. I was told I’d never get my book published. I now have five published books. With my latest project, I’ve just decided not to tell anyone about it until it’s done because I don’t want the negativity. But truly, what I’ve decided is that the negativity says more about them than it says about you. They’re just mad because they weren’t able to do the thing you are trying to do, so they discourage you because misery loves company.

  96. Jill

    I am an artist. My educational background is in the visual arts and I know that this is the realm where I am truly in my “sweet spot”. I put my career on hold to be a stay-at-home mom/military wife and, as my children grew older, I was able to find success as a freelance photographer. My (now ex) husband was nearing retirement from the military and told me that it was time to go get a “real job” and that working as a self-employed artist did not count as that. Guess what? a) I’m not married to him anymore and b) I AM a self-employed artist, my business is growing. I am happy that his comments forced me to evaluate so many things about what kind of life I wanted to lead and realize how very much I wanted to find my own success as a woman entrepreneur.

  97. Oh my GOODNESS! I was just talking about this as I am coming out the other side of yet another trip down a rabbit hole, under that rock in “dark night of the soul land”.!!! It seems that most everyone believes in me and is counting on me to make it big! And yet way too many elevator moments that happened early in my quest have caused major doubt in my confident self. I have always known that I can do anything. But this multi-project plate spinning girl got tired of the dots not connecting and finding the opening that makes sense for me. Thank you for reminding me who i USED to be when I was a young girl who didn’t care what other people thought was possible. I had lost her and my MOJO and that is not an option any more. And thank you to all of the amazing women telling their impossible stories of success! I know I am one of you. YAY! I have found my people! I LOVE my people!

  98. Thank you to Judith & Wally for putting me on blast in my private FB group by pretty much saying that I was in it for the money & not for my community (backstory: I’m a FitPro, I run 21 Day programs & I use to give a bonus week but realized that was unfair to my monthly members so I discontinued it.) Thank you because you pushed me to learn how to provide more value to my monthly clients as well as my 21 Day participants.

  99. AEG

    The example that is coming to my mind comes from a bit of a different angle. It wasn’t so much a put down, as it was criticism.

    Several years ago, I launched a site about glamping ( Now this *was* actually just a hobby for me – I was frustrated that there wasn’t a good way to filter out glamping destinations based on amenities at the time. So I enlisted some help from a few family members and we input data for as many glamping spots as we could find – initially about 300. Since I was collecting and listing this data about other people’s businesses, I wanted to notify them before going public with the site, assuming that most people would be happy to have additional exposure for their businesses. So I sent out an email to all the listed properties, gave them a link for a preview and told them that if for some reason they did not want to be included in the directory, they could hit the opt-out button.

    The third response I got was from this really angry man who lambasted me for collecting the data without his permission and basically accused me of all the things that my email was actually meant to avoid. I was trying to be fair, transparent, and respectful with the info, and he decided that I was the exact opposite. I knew that it was just one person’s opinion, but it did upset me. And it took a day or two to set it aside emotionally. But out of hundreds, there were only about 4 people who opted-out. And I received a lot of emails from businesses that were really grateful to be listed.

    It was a process though to get back to some more solid ground. Mostly, I found it upsetting because I was being accused of being inconsiderate when that was precisely what I was trying NOT to be. So I had to work at reminding myself where my intentions were, and set aside the fact that this random guy wasn’t recognizing those intentions.

  100. We have the same attitude in dealing with this kind of people. When someone said negative things about me or doubt my skills, I prove to them that they’re wrong.

    Thanks for another awesome video Marie!

  101. I’d have to say the hardest hitting moment for me came from my own family member. Its tough to hear something harsh from someone who really doesn’t know you very well but even harder when it comes from someone who has known you since you were born. This family member has a prominent corporate position and I have SO much respect and admiration for them. Putting myself out there, I flew to their city and had a lunch meeting (because they’re so busy, it was difficult to even get this time) to share my current goals and how I plan to achieve them. Needless to say, I was able to speak my peace but as soon as I was done, I was shot down to the ground. This person was just plain mean. It was so disappointing and disheartening mainly because I didn’t feel like I was treated as their family member but rather a low level employee that was getting fired. That was just a few weeks ago. I guess those closest to you really can be your hardest critics. It really made me question my path and wonder if I’m really on the right track. No bueno!

    But thanks Marie for this conversation! Helped confirm what I was already trying to tell myself as I processed the situation. I’m ready to use it as fuel to my fire and prove that I can achieve my goals. Bring it baby.

  102. Thanks, Marie. I can totally relate. So I was about to start my dream job 3 years ago…It was in a different city and I had no car…and I needed it for the job anyway..So I decided to look for one in couple of weeks after the move. Then my employer called me and asked to come down for a 2 day induction, 2 weeks prior a start date..I was in panic and started to search for a car…Told my friends, neighbors…etc..So here I was on Wed at 5.30 pm…no car and due to be in work for 8.30 am on Thu…One of my neighbors turned around and says…”There is no way you could find a car now and get there tomorrow on time..Just call them and cancel!” I was furious…He made me so mad..I found the car 3 hours later, paid 200 less than expected, insured it over the phone before I even got to see the car (you can cancel insurance within 2 weeks anyway, so I was just covering myself in case car was OK and I needed to drive back) ..and ….I drove to this neighbour and said…you said ..No way! – I said – Way….Made me proud and powerful…I made it into work…

  103. I needed to hear this today.

    I was punched in the gut yesterday at my day job. I am currently in school to change my career. I want to leave the corporate world and work in a totally different career. I want to work to develop programs to help victims of childhood sexual abuse. So, I don’t want to climb the ladder at my day job. I just need to contribute well until I finish my schooling.

    Thank you for this message! I can’t waist time being angry at my day job. It is a means to an end.

    Perfect timing! Thank you!

  104. Watching this video I kept hearing Taylor Swift saying, “Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. I shake it off, I shake it off!”

    I haven’t had anyone (yet) belittle my business, but I know that there are several people in my life that only tolerate it on a surface level because I currently “work with clients.” The idea that I’m planning to bring in revenue by creating online products and courses is too heebie jeebie for them. 🙂

    Also, this vid had me LOLing with all your colorful terms for that dear man in the elevator. hahaha

  105. My degree is in Interior Design, but I’d let my career languish. Two years ago, the opportunity to work on a Show House presented itself. The organizer of the event continually tried to discourage my participating, in several painful, degrading encounters.

    My space in the house was well received and published in a national shelter magazine, but I vowed never to participate in anything she was involved in again. Last year, the designers who participated in the previous year’s event had first right of refusal to participate, before the available rooms were offered to other designers. I decided to toss that vow away and not let her defeat me, choosing to design a bedroom for children.

    Show House expenses typically come out of the designer’s pocket. It became an issue of “can’t afford to do it and can’t afford not to,” but as soon as said I yes and dove in, several manufacturers came to my rescue making my costs a fraction of what they would’ve been. One of them ended up using my space for a current national advertising campaign.

    It hasn’t turned into new clients or revenue yet, but it was a defining moment for me personally. By using her negativity as fuel, doors to things I never imagined opened. I’m thankful to her for not believing in me!

  106. I’m really gload you share this Marie. We all have to face the lack of trust and faith that others project on us. Also, proving them wrong is the best payback ever!

  107. Wow I needed this video today! THANK YOU (as usual) Marie Kick-Ass Forleo! My dream is to help aspiring filmmakers get their films made! I started a company to do just that. It’s been a great success and has opened up many other opportunities for me. As a result, I’ve taken those other opportunities. It has helped me learn more about the film space, and it has helped me meet amazing industry professionals. So what’s the problem? I’m not working on my own company anymore because I’m so busy with the other opportunities! Those opportunities were safe, and my own company is free fallin’! SO: The person who is telling me I can’t do it…is ME! Ooof! Didn’t see that one coming! Fire LIT!!!

  108. TB

    hi all,

    worst professional moment. here goes. i had handled an awkward situation poorly. tho no body got hurt, and nobody was yelling (I teach Pilates’) i had three ladies write diatribes to my boss about me. they were out to get me fired! it was horrible, specially cuz i didnt see it coming. i thought they were three nice little older ladies, and they hadnt said anything to me directly that indicated how upset they were. anyway, the good that came out of it, besides making sure it never happens again, situationwise, was that it clarified for me exactly who was NOT my ideal client and who to work with. they were so clear in not liking me, i got the message loud and clear. and i didnt get fired. actually got more work, of the type i should be doing. so there! bad experience, good outcome.

  109. CE

    Here’s a question I would love to get a response to: what if you want to start a business that is educational and informational, make money doing it, but consider it a fun, almost full-time hobby. And what if you ARE bankrolled by your husband? Is there shame in this? I am excited about my plans, but I feel like other people will not respect me, based on the story I just heard from Marie. What are the thoughts of the strong women out there?

    • It really doesn’t matter where you get your financing to start a business, because bottom line is it takes a savvy business person to start, build, and sustain a thriving-successful business for the long haul.

      IMO do what YOU want to do. Do NOT worry about what other people think – just trust your intuition, along with researching your best options. If others drag you down with their own beliefs, then it may be time to switch friends –and be with supportive like minded comrades. If you love what you do, success with follow. My best to your endeavors!

    • AEG

      Hi CE! I like that you brought up this point, because it did cross my mind during the video as well. I think it boils down to: *you* get to write the script for your story, and that’s going to be the one that counts most. So for Marie, this chauvinist a** was projecting a bunch of his assumptions onto her that weren’t accurate. But it wouldn’t make it any more just if he had been right about her circumstances. The important part was that he was belittling her personal capacity, drive and strength as an entrepreneur.

      If your story is: “I have a hobby that I’m transitioning into a business with the love and support of my husband,” then there’s nothing there that is shameful! You’ve still got to call upon your persistence, your courage, your hope, your knowledge and your talent to put your ideas and desires out into the world in a meaningful way. No need to make it harder on yourself by feeling embarrassed about the resources (financial and emotional) that make your opportunities more possible for you!

      • AEG

        On second perusal, perhaps you meant that you aren’t intending to make it a business, but just do it because you love it? And that that approach is possible because your husband supports you financially. If that is the scenario you were asking about, I still think the same thing applies.

        You’re making a personal contribution through your work/hobby regardless of whether or not you get paid enough to support yourself. And your husband obviously values you and your partnership with each other enough to help you achieve those (your personal) goals.

  110. Jacqui

    Woah, I can totally connect with this video.

    My escalator moment was 3 years ago, when one of my entrepreneur friend whom i kinda looked up to asked what i wanted to do after i graduated. I excitedly told him i want to be a personal trainer and inspired people to stay healthy and confident in their own body. His instant reply to me was that i will never be able to make it as i was not an extrovert and its not my nature to ‘sell’.

    Well, I thank him for the comments he gave, because ever since then i worked really hard to pursue my dream. In fact, i was incredibly eager to work towards what people assume was impossible for my reach; A personal trainer that is able to inspire people by helping them to reach their fitness goals. Even my parents got persuaded to lose weight and maintain a sustainable healthy lifestyle!

    Thanks for sharing this video Marie!

  111. Yes, Marie, there’s a lot of people walking around inspiring us all to not be like them. Here’s a little story from my most recent book, which inspired this tweetable.. “People treat people how they treat people. It has nothing to do with you.”

    “One of the most difficult things I had to learn in my life was not to take things so personally. Whenever someone mistreated me, I use to think that it was due to something being wrong with me. Now, I know better.

    People treat people how they treat people. It has nothing to do with you.

    One day, while walking in New York City minding my own business, I passed a guy sitting along the sidewalk who heckled me, saying- Hey- you walk like a FAG.
    Seeing that no one had ever said such a thing to me before, I assumed that it wasn’t true and that the guy was nuts. But how often do we get treated badly and think that what the person is saying is true, or might be true?

    Twenty-minutes later, I happened to be walking down the same street again and the guy didn’t notice me. Instead of me, he heckled a guy walking a few feet in front of me saying- Hey- you walk like a FAG.
    I chuckled, realizing that he was indeed sitting there in his own madness, randomly shouting at people.”

    –Giorge Leedy, Little Star Big Universe

  112. People who spew mean spirited jabs at what you offer, are typically folks that live inside of the glass that is half– or mostly empty. Many are incapable of making their own dreams come true; thus are insecure and jealous. So sad. BUT, it is also true that these people can be fuel for your own success. And, sometimes harsh critiques can make you clean up a ambiguous areas that challenge you. So not all is a waste.

    Comparing the numbers; constructive comments have far outweighed destructive badgering by far. . . .always thank your commentators no matter what their response. They will remember you > and that is the point isn’t it?

  113. A few people have suggested that my business is “just a hobby” to “keep me busy” because I started it while I was on maternity leave with my daughter. Even though I work harder than I ever did in the corporate world I am still always referred to as a stay at home mom. I want to scream “I’m a WORK at home mom, dammit!” I have no doubt that this was a huge source of motivation for me, especially in the beginning. I wanted to prove them all wrong. Every sale and every satisfied customer tells me that this is so much more than a hobby.

  114. Marie,

    Great episode! Thanks for the reminder that any and all negative experiences can be used as fuel for success. My background is filled with D-Bags who want to cockblock on my success. Usually through stupid-ass criticism like with your butt-munch-boy. Keep up the good work. -R

  115. Marie, I love your energy and attitude! What I’ve found in the self-help industry (that grates on my nerves) is an attempt to project perfection, which is unrealistic and phony. Though you don’t flaunt your faults, you seem more genuine than most, which is what I try to do myself.

    Thanks for sharing this story. I once had a woman in one of my workshops write in her evaluation that I spoke too loudly and that she felt my use of the word s**t was inappropriate. Well, I used the word s**t for emphasis. I think we get too bent out of shape over the use of swear words and sometimes there just is no better word with more impact. I get that some people won’t like it or that they will think it’s unprofessional, but those people will not relate to me, anyway. I say it like it is, which is not always what people want to hear.

    As far as my being too loud, she could have moved from the front row. I had to speak loudly enough for the back row to hear me, as they hadn’t provided a mic for me. As it turns out, she is life coaching herself, so either she was trying to eliminate the competition or she was only taking my workshop to steal my material. I won’t forget her and I doubt that she will have mush success with that kind of attitude.

    Anyway, thank you again, for being YOU!

  116. This couldn’t have come at a more perfect time because I’ve been experiencing the subtle version of the escalator moment…in the form of questions like, “So are you working? Is this your job? etc.” The insults are thinly veiled and the facial expression says it all. My response (after I spent a few days simmering—the best come backs always come too late, but not really too late) is, “Are you following your heart? Are you pursuing your dreams?”
    Thanks for sharing this Marie!

  117. It seems like all I have is naysayers in my life. Straight from a friend in my Facebook private messages: “As far as your online stuff well personally I don’t think that is going to work and I say that because I have seen you try other stuff like this and it never pans out. I think you need to do something like a real job to bring in money.”

    And from my daughter: “It’s not like you can just put a website up and then get people to come to your site and start a business…” Hmm… doesn’t that sort of define internet businesses?

    I have to admit, they get into my head. Every day I spend some of my energy trying to overcome their negativity. Maybe I actually am a loser? Nope. I had a semi-successful social network, close to 5,000 member and 3,000 Facebook followers. My new project is to take what I learned from that experience and monetize with a new program, but what I see as growth, they see as failure. I wish it made me want to fight and prove myself, but it just drains my energy.

  118. Alice Terpstra

    Escalator Misogynist: “Do you have a rich husband?”
    Me: He is now. My business made him that way.

  119. Annie

    Hi Marie,
    I LOVED this episode because that SOOO happened to me..but in a different capacity. It was around 2008 and I was jobless and went back to graduate school. I had been working and now that I was not, I did not want people to forget about me while I was in graduate school. I was thinking ahead. So I scheduled as many informational interviews as possible! I went to meet this one guy who was the head of a major PR firm in my area. I was so excited and really could not wait to meet him, hear about his experience, and, in the back of my mind, was hoping to get a mentor to help steer me in the right direction.

    Instead of a warm welcome, the interview started with a condescending hello, I was put in this chair that made me feel SO small and inconsequential and when I started asking him questions, his answers were curt and to the point. He made me feel like I was wasting his time. The worst part, at the end, I asked if he had any suggestions or words of wisdom for me. Instead of uplifting, he stared at me and told me if I had asked what it would take to work for him, this would have been a TOTALLY different conversation. He turned his back to me and I knew the conversation was over. I have to thank him and the many other rude, egotistical people who have influenced me as to how NOT to act and prove that even though I am a woman, I have a brain and a voice.

    Now, I am in a position to pay it forward by being that person for the next generation of people who just want advice. I hope to be that positive mentor I craved back in 2008. Because in the end, you never know if that person you help today is the one who will help YOU in the future.

    Thanks again! Great video!


  120. Last year my brother asked me: Do you earn a living with that? That year I made 250.000 euro’s (!). I can’t blame him for his ignorance, he got stuck somewhere in the seventies 🙂

  121. Marie, from one Jersey girl to another, I love you.

    My escalator moment came about two years ago. I was talking to a friend about my campaign for paid family leave in the U.S. and how determined I am to see six months mandated paid leave in my lifetime. She replied:

    “Oh, that’s not gonna happen.”

    And it stopped me in my tracks. She’s a great lady, and a well-meaning friend, and I was totally thrown off by such a negative comment.

    But only for a minute.

    That comment had an explosive impact. Not only did it light a fire under my writing and lobbying, it made me take a hard look at how I was treating myself. After all, how long would “in my lifetime” be?

    I decided that I needed to stick around for quite a while to make sh*t happen. So I completely changed my diet, got back into yoga, and started treating myself a lot better.

    And I started to like myself a lot more, too.

    So my “escalator moment” wasn’t just fantastic for my business goals; it ultimately led to a healthier lifestyle and some much-needed healthy narcissism.

    Here’s to making sh*t happen!

  122. Francine

    My lifelong mistake has always been assuming that others will be happy for my growth, just as I am thrilled to see growth in myself and others. Now I understand that I’ve often not attracted into my life those who would be happy, and I understand why.

    When my then-boyfriend and I got engaged years ago, my mother, upon my excited announcement, stated, “He’s not Catholic. It’ll never last.” I now understand that this was likely reflecting her own unprocessed pain from her divorce from my father years earlier. Both of them were Catholic. And my husband and I are still happily married.

    After my mother died, I took stock of my tumultuous relationship with her. I asked myself a lot of really hard questions. I dove into reading and research to try to better understand myself and my family. I began to explain my expanding understanding of myself to my closest friends at the time.

    First, they told me they were afraid for me and that I should see a therapist. I read this as their unspoken feelings–“I don’t feel adequate to be listening to you. I don’t feel human enough to listen without needing to have been through the same things. I don’t understand that my listening and simply being here are enough to you. I don’t understand that on a human level, we are equal.”

    Then came the ostracism. Slowly I was removed from their circle, first in little ways, then bigger. My then-boss and pastor, who was one of these friends, came to me several months later and told me that he was giving half of my job to an unpaid volunteer. When I shared my dream and desire to teach a free class to the church community about the concepts that had helped me grow, he said, “What if no one comes?”

    In my experience, the energy of fire has the potential to spur great transformation. It can clean out any weeds and decaying matter in order to make room for new life to be planted. It can also burn and scar us. I’ve often been one to allow those burn wounds to remain open to the infections of my self-doubting mind.

    But this time was different. This time I could let my heart break fully and become empty with the inner knowing that I had the strength to fill it. This time I decided that the last straw of many painful lifelong rejections was going to transform that entire straw pile into all the strength that had built up in me in the meantime, unacknowledged. I was willing at last to acknowledge the amazing brightness of my own being and stand tall in my own radiance. That’s when I said yes to the quest of being a light in the world. And that’s when I understood that if I wanted to attract other lightworkers into my inner circle, I needed to own my shining truth and actually be who I know I am.

    Oprah says that strength multiplied equals power. I’ve come to understand that as women, many of us sacrifice or limit our immense inner power for the sense of security we feel in our groups. If one woman tries to rise above, it reflects back to the others their own learned mindset of limits. My mother was no exception. Just like me, she was a product of her society and of her pain. I know this now, and after the fire of pain and transformation and the water of healing, I can peacefully and lovingly forgive us both.

    Maybe we as women have learned to equate living in and from our power with being arrogant. Maybe we’ve learned to think that if our sister is rising above, there wont’ be enough goodness left for us. Our maybe the thought of ostracism is enough to keep us small. Whatever the reasons, wouldn’t it be amazing if we acknowledged our equal and fully whole inner power inside of each and every one of us, always there no matter what our lives have tried to tell us? And wouldn’t it be amazing if we keep encouraging this greatness in our sisters and relish in the fact that we all can shine wonderfully, each in our own brilliant ways? Can you even imagine what a world this could be?

    Keep accepting your light, sisters–and brothers too! And keep shining it bright!

  123. Sarah

    this is just what I needed to hear today! Last year I quit my corporate job to open up my own business, in a completely new city. I got a ton of negativity from people who I thought were friends. Basically no one believed that I would do it or succeed. The business has been up and running since May of this year and it is a roaring success already in a short time. I am happy that I moved cities to start this business because that is how I was able to get rid of the negative people in my life. Now I am trying to surround myself with other entrepreneurs and business owners – people who understand me and my goals. I am much happier where I am today. I can’t say that I would “thank” all my naysayers… I am not there yet. Mostly because I am so disappointed that I thought so many of them were “good friends” of mine. It’s much easier to shrug off people’s ridiculous comments when you have no attachment to them and no relationship…

  124. People try to be support and with alot you can just hear it in their voice that they dont think you will get anything started even family. Its ok its there stories that stop them but not me. I am working my ass off and its getting easier to do the things I need to focus on and just delete email that I dont need to read and do seminars that will forward me in using things like social media and I am really watching what I do. I get to do things I love and things are showing up so I will even get practice telling people what I do an event that I won a ticket. Its exciting. I am doing interviews and other things to get me out there. .I am the only one to do it. and it takes work and time but I am doing it. Even with people who just work and those who dont think it will happen. I am declaring i have 4 clients in oct paying clients..

  125. Liv

    Hi Marie,

    Last night I was thinking about this escalator moment. I’m a recent graduate and I have a start-up in events planning. For the moment it’s very hard to face the financial problems because I don’t make a lot of cash ( it’s a start-up!!! doh! ) . A few days ago I was talking to my parents and they’ve said really nasty things about my career- that I’m not actually having a business because I’m not producing tons of cash and that I should give up with this business and work for a big company. I love my parents but they never support me and they are constantly breaking my heart with these nasty comments. And I really love what I’m doing and I believe that ONE DAY I will have a enough money for a quality life. But I cry myself to sleep at night because I’m thinking “Oh, but what it will happen if my parents are right and I’m not having a career and I’m losing time? Should I get a job in a big company?”

    Ladies, I really need an advice! And pardon my English mistakes, I’m not from USA 🙂

  126. Ivy

    When I was working on auditioning for an arts high school in LA for dance, my dance teacher told my Mom I wasn’t good enough to get into the school and I’d never be a dancer after the high school’s audition. It so fueled me that I got in the next year with flying colors and moved to NYC and was in two dance companies – the first one within the first year of landing there. HA!

  127. That’s sooo funny. A “D” bag on the escalator. I’ve flashed back to something that Mastin Kipp said at RHH Live about anger can fuel you. Yep. It sure can.

    Escalator moments. Love it.

    My escalator moments come when I give soooo much and then finally put an offer out there and someone says … why should I pay for that?!? I say. Maybe you shouldn’t.

  128. Arghhhhh! Marie, this makes my blood boil! To think someone would say that to you! I hope that guy watches this video just to see you that your light is shining brighter than ever before. Doubt in my abilities does not get me fired up it gives me the blues BUT I also don’t tend to draw my strength from outside forces so I always check back in with me and that’s what keeps me going. I can say, however that I know society thinks that Women can’t be powerful, smart, and in control of their destiny and THAT is the fuel that gets me fired up and ready to conquer the world each and every day! Thanks for sharing your escalator moment and thank you, THANK YOU for not believing that “turd muncher” (lol!) xoxo

  129. Ok I felt that comment in my gut too, Marie! Probably because back when I was starting out as a pet portrait artist (people commissioned me to paint portraits of their pets) and received my own negative comment, my husband WAS bank-rolling my work at the time! In a nutshell…

    Back when I was starting out as a professional artist, I had a woman say to me…ok it was my mother-in-law (gulp!)…”I mean, really Aimée, WHO is going to pay $600 for a pet portrait??

    A handful of years later, a friend of hers commission a painting. So I took my mother-in-law to lunch and surprised her with a “thank you”/referral check for 10% of my commission fee…which turned out to be *exactly* $600. 😀 It was probably the best full-circle moment of my pet portrait career!

    I’ve since transitioned into other work/animal painting subjects and she is one of my biggest fans.

    Thanks for the story, Marie! And for reminding me that that comment lit a bit of a fire under my posterior. 😉

  130. Gladys

    Marie, you have definitely made it! Your videos are so inspiring and motivational that I’ve forwarded to friends who need it. About the escalator moments, we certainly need to turn every negativity around in a positive way so that it fuels us, not kill us. Thank you for sharing about that awful moment!

  131. The earliest escalator moment I remember was when I was 6 (I’m sure that wasn’t the first and it certainly wasn’t the last). Without the support and understanding of my parents, I probably wouldn’t revel in these personal challenges whenever someone tells me I’m too small/weak/young/fragile/female to do something. Proving the nay-sayers wrong has fueled a lot of the fire in me, but the hardest part has been ensuring that it doesn’t leave me combative.

  132. Marie – I absolutely loved this episode! Please don’t tell me I’m not capable of something because ignorance and stupidity work like rocket fuel for me! It must be an Italian thing – lol!! While checking out at my local grocery store a cashier told me that I had a beautiful granddaughter. The only problem with that was I was holding my beautiful 9 month old DAUGHTER Jessica at the time – and that I was no way a grandmother!! I saw fire that day but decided to use the energy to lose 45 pounds and get myself back into shape. It’s been 13 years and I’ve not only kept the weight off but I’m in the best shape ever! Thank you idiot cashier!!

    And I hope to meet you someday Maire so I can personally thank you for inspiring me and helping me get the clarity and knowledge I needed to launch my own business. From one Jersey girl to another – YOU ARE THE BEST!!


  133. OH, gosh, I had a career I loved that balanced well with my family because it was only one or two days per week and paid fairly, doing work I adored!!!
    TWICE my male bosses, over the course of my career, invited me to leave the company because I had a baby. Twice I was encouraged to pretend I didn’t have a family. Well thank you very much, because now I am SO PASSIONATE about teaching mothers, among others, and integrating family life with work and/or study. Don’t anyone EVER TELL ME that I am not valuable because I have a family. The fact that I have a family is one of the reasons my JOB or life work is so important to me…… I can’t believe that women are expected to pretend they don’t have their kids in the workplace. That’s baloney. that’s a male shaped workplace, / study place. i guess. I won’t accept it!!!!! Women are awesome the way we’re made, and can shape our lives to fit with it!!

  134. Thanks Marie. This is exactly what I needed to hear today.

  135. Wow, I can’t believe someone would say something like that! But I love how you turned it around and used it to fuel and inspire you. I can relate to this and I’m sure so many people watching can, too! Thanks for the reminder and for sharing this 🙂

  136. Such a dick head comment by that asswad. Would be amazing if you could run into him again.
    Though he’s probably living in his car now with an attitude like that

  137. I think it’s worse when it is friends or family giving you the escalator moment–often out of concern, but occasionally out of someplace meaner. Even when I was in graduate school for a “hard science,” my aunt and uncle gave me a pitying look and said “well what do you expect to do with that?”

    I think, in some cases, it’s more the result of people having a hard time understanding jobs that fall outside their worldview. What’s bizarre about my aunt and uncle, however, is that their daughter was getting her graduate degree as an occupational therapist at the time. I suppose the medical field felt more “real” to them than STEM.

  138. Hi Marie,
    my escalator moments are pretty similar to yours.. people think it’s a fun hobby to pursue a career in health and fitness.
    “But, you’ll keep your full-time job right”
    “How will you make money?”
    “make sure you can generate at least 25K before considering this a career.”
    It just fuels me to work harder, make my website, social media and programs better.
    It saddens me that they are so short sighted..that’s pretty much it! lol

  139. I once had a well known visual artist tell me that my idea for a project was not going to work out. His exact words I think were “Well, let me know how that works for you.”

    Well it did work and it was a success. It’s imagining what is possible and asking why not that makes things happen.

  140. Vince

    You don’t want to know the kick in the *all’s I got
    this summer (with a tongue sticking out). Lol.
    Not in mixed company anyway. Made my last
    Twenty years seem absolutely worthless….

  141. Loved this Marie

    I always use the fire up energy to launch a new inspiration and bless the Ahole for it.

    I also use envy and jealousy to do this too, after some short bout of suffering jolts me to consciousness!

    Can’t wait for your next BSchool and hoping for a senior scholarship 🙂

  142. My “escaltor moment” was actually years of my life. My father, one of the people whom one would think would be most supportive, was actually the least supportive. For years I heard, “you are worthless and you will never amount to anything.” And yes, those were the exact words. In these kinds of circumstances, one has 2 choices. Either give up and accept his prediction or work like hell to prove him wrong. I did the latter and got a Masters Degree when he told me I couldn’t do it. In fact, he only had a 4 year degree and I got my Masters purely out spite! It ended up being one of the best things I ever did for myself so his negativity was turned into positivity!

  143. Great topic Marie!

    If you ever are looking for a reason to dislike people, try hitch hiking. This is what I did at 56 years of age when I returned to University to complete my BFA I was not able to complete back in the 70s at the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design.
    I was out of University for 30 years. I had an extremely limited budget and at the beginning my second year and my last term I had no vehicle. So I did what I had to do hitch hike over an hour away, for 7 months.
    You want to talk about feeling demoralized, humiliation and second class? This experience was it. However, I became more determined in spite of people not picking my up at times, being flat broke, exhausted, stranded, people giving me the finger and shouting obscenities from their car window.
    I focused on one day, one moment at a time, and on those who did pick my up, and those who helped me in immeasurably ways.
    After three years I graduated in 2012 with my Bachelor of Fine Arts from Mount Allison University. I received the Catherine MacDonald Arsenault Award, which is given to the mature student who exhibits determination, and perseverance in obtaining their degree. This was the proudest moment of my life.
    I learned if you want something bad enough you will fight for it, no matter what “turd munching” comes your way. 🙂 Love you Marie!

    Here’s a bit of my hitch hiking experience from my blog.

  144. Woah! Is this video coming into my life by coincidence. I don’t think so.

    I had a client completely scam me for $600 worth of free services. When it came time to ask for a testimonial, instead she dished up a lot of “feedback” which was all mean, hurtful and untrue. She told me she didn’t want to see her name beside my services. I felt so completely scammed, (especially when my paying clients voluntarily give me testimonials). The worst part is that I am part of a close knit mastermind group with this very person who I thought was supporting me.

    This was a huge lesson in standing up for myself, my value, and my boundaries which I then put into place, by making a decision to basically block out the naysayers (literally, as in banning and blocking them on social media and deleting their emails). I won’t let people take advantage of me when I am only adding so much value.

    THE BEST part of this experience is I consciously decided to start supporting all female business owners. I decided that I never want to be one of the naysayers myself. I want to encourage and help other women grow in business too!! If I had to be dished out harsh words in order to gain this lesson, than I think it was worth it!

  145. Barb

    I really enjoyed your Marie video today! I starting yoga teacher training at age 62 after dedicating myself to a career of teaching special needs children and when I am confronted with people who question why I would want to do this, it takes me back a bit. I find your weekly updates so encouraging and cross generational. Thank you!

  146. Once again, thank you Marie. Sometimes – who am I kidding? – Many times I hold out on a pursuit simply because of the perceived fear (situations like yours) that I am afraid to face even though they haven’t even happened. Sometimes I put feelers out and give snippets of projects to get feedback and if the individuals response isn’t like: “OMG that is mind blowing, that’s AMAZING!” and instead it’s just like: “Oh, okay.” I kill the idea, the dream, the vision because in my head I translated that to mean: “Your idea sucks what were you even thinking? Get real.”

    While I can’t recall a specific escalator moment, I remember the rejection I give to myself. And you just prepared me to fight back the voices in my own head. I guess, in fact, I am my own worst escalator moment. Thank you for that reality check and preparing me for the fight.

    Charles Doyle

  147. Cara

    I have had many people, especially close friends and sometimes family tell me it’s impossible for me to accomplish something. Those are the times in my life when I am most proud of proving them wrong. But I do find that egotistical male jerks have a special place in my heart. They get my back up and fill me with a heat that is inexplicably motivating. Are these guys still DBs? Absolutely. But I have now found a use for them and their continued precense on this earth keeps me moving forward…not because I NEED to prove them wrong, but because I relish in the fact that I CAN. 🙂

    Good one Marie. I love it.

    PS. Can you imagine saying something like that to him back? Oh your audience is mostly businessmen and entrepreneurs and you are running a business school online? How cute. Is your wife bankrolling you? Cause that’s the only way you could survive.

  148. Andrea

    Hi Marie,

    Thanks for being so awesome! Your message for today is just what I needed to hear. You’re right. I’m not sure whether it’s persistence, stubbornness or just pure will, I love to prove the naysayers / non believers wrong.

    Also, thanks to you, I’m now looking at Christopher Walken in a whole new way!

  149. My brother just last weekend said to me, ‘you really need a sugar daddy. then you can just admit all your ( air quotes) “buisinesses” can be what they should be… hobbies and you can just relax.’ yes, in 2014.

    Interestingly, right after I ended up watching an interview with that woman from shark tank, who said in all her biz experience the ones who succeeded the most were not the smartest or even hardest working, but those that had something to prove. I think it was posted on bschool, actually. it was my my reassurance from the universe to do some proovin!

  150. Suzannah

    Elevator moment in my sports career – I had a coach tell me when I was 11, that I would never amount to anything. Oh, yeah? It stirred the kindling in my heart that resulted in the fire of commitment leading to multiple World Championships and an Olympic Gold Medal. Oh, Yeah!

  151. Nadia

    I have NEVER commented on any of your videos, although am a HUGE fan and B-school student/entrepreneur.

    Simply based on this video, it has lifted MY spirits and fuelled MY fire to f***in’ KICK some BUSINESS A**!!!

    I also recently found out that my great great grandmother (late 1800’s) was a tobacco and rice trader between Burma and India! She used to do this on horseback. This was unheard of for women during this era. #wild.

    What a platform for me to launch my business skills, especially when it really is in my blood!



  152. Timely and well said as always, Marie!

    I had a lot of these moments whenever I was in big decision phases of my life (when I changed majors against my parents’ wishes; when I left my stable New York job to travel Europe and then move to Colorado and try to break into advertising; when I quit my ad job to go freelance; when I decided to travel full-time), but I am still shocked whenever it happens.

    I actually had one of these moments over the weekend. This year, I quit my old business and dove into something new, publishing four unique new travel guides over the summer. I worked my ass off and I’m getting great results, especially when you consider the smallish size of my initial audience. But when I asked an innocent question in a writer’s forum, some pompous douchebag took it upon himself to educate me on why I couldn’t possibly make money as a book writer and I shouldn’t expect much from the publishing world.

    Now, I was already exceeding what I assume were his expectations, but now I’m all sorts of pissed off and I’m using that anger to fuel the next year of my business. I’m not just going to prove that guy wrong. I’m going to knock his stupid expectations on their face.

  153. Yes, I’ve definitely had some “elevator moments” too! Thanks for sharing yours. It’s great to transform that anger into the fuel that can push you even further into your own power!

  154. Thank you for this. The biggest knocker I experience is the one in my own head. And yet I WILL keep going.

    Love to all who come here xx

  155. Criticism seems to come coupled with growth. It’s important to keep your goal in mind when faced with someone criticizing you. Come back to gratitude and WHY you are doing what you’re doing in the first place. Surely, if you’re good at what you do, you’ve got examples of great praise and affirmation. Always remember to focus on the positive majority, and ignore the negative minority. That’s just my two cents ;-). Awesome video!

  156. Patricia Nash

    In 1967, I asked–no begged–my dad to please drive me to a nearby community center to give a speech on behalf of my high school. I told him it was a speech competition and that I’d been selected to compete on behalf of my high school against all the other high schools in the district.
    My father was never supportive of any of his eight children (except in the one area of music for which I am grateful, for I became a crack musician before my teenage years.) My father responded with a smile of contempt on his face which I will always remember and said,
    “Win? You think you’re going to WIN anything. You’ll never win anything!” But I begged him anyway,
    “Dad, please! It’s a few miles away and I’m supposed to be there before seven!”
    “I’m not wasting my time!, he repeated, You’ll NEVER win anything!”
    So I took off as fast as I could–grateful that I was a runner–and I ran all the way to get there just in time. All of us participants gave our speeches on the same topic–“Peace is Attainable.” Someone gave me a ride home and as my father waited up for me to make sure I was safe, I strode through the door waving a large trophy saying,
    “See, I took first place!”
    Our principal sent me a personal letter of thanks and later called me into his office.
    “How would you like to give the Baccalaureate Address?” And thus I gave the Baccalaureate address in front of 2000 people for 500 seniors, one of them being a classmate I knew, Joan Blunden. She later entered journalism and changed her blundering last name “Blunden” and became known as Joan–
    Joan Lunden!
    I gave her Baccalaureate Address for our graduation
    And thus, all my life, the Naysayers have spurred me on. For no one likes being told what they can’t do!

  157. Adam

    A quote comes to mind .. “Kill them with success and bury them with a smile” -Unknown

  158. My parents told me my business idea was “unrealistic” and did not contribute to my Indiegogo campaign to help launch it. That campaign led me to landing an investor who is bankrolling the entire venture and NOW they are excited for me. We launch very soon and I know we are going to be a huge success. I love my parents but I will succeed despite of them, not because of them, and that’s OK 🙂

  159. I look forward to Tuesdays, just because of these videos, Marie!!
    You are inspiring, entertaining and encouraging. Bless your generous heart!


  160. Marie, you are the best! Thanks for this one.

    After reading Erin’s comment about “The I Hate Erin Fan Club” I went to her blog: to read the whole story. I wanted to share what I wrote to her:


    I followed you here from Marie Forleo’s site and I’m glad I did, if only to see how much you are appreciated and loved. I am always intrigued by a story like yours, where there is so much love, acceptance, and encouragement in early life, and then one event turns a life upside-down. It keeps me cognizant of the effect our actions can have on another’s life. It’s really good to know that, however long it took, you were able to turn it around. When I encounter someone like the woman who felt the need to put you down, the thing I try to remember is that her actions come from one place–fear. All bad or cruel behavior is the result of fear except, of course, the occasional psychopath. And here’s the thing–there are only two things in all the world that human beings are afraid of: 1) that we won’t get what we think we want and; 2) that we will lose what we think we have. I am always humbled by that. There are so many things I think I want. There are so many things I fear losing. My prayer is that I can give up all the wanting and worry. My prayer is that fear will not contribute to another’s pain. Thanks for this post and the reminder.

  161. So true life presents us with fuel for the fire either verbally or in other earth-shaking ways. Aside from several key statements like the “escalator moment” from my ex-husband which fueled my energy to move through divorce, I can think of times when just the opposite was true. Where people around me told me I ought to/should be doing something more ambitious, more high paying, more entrepreneurial than I am. While this shows others see something powerful in me, I tend to react by digging my heels in and continuing my path as “enough” because it meets several needs they may not see.

  162. Dearest Marie,
    I took your bschool program on its second year and your drive and passion was always an example to me when I was just beginning.

    One thing I learned was that these ‘escalator moments’ will continue to happen throughout our entrepreneurial life.

    For as long as we evolve and grow we will have those encounters with the non believers.

    To me they are one of the reasons behind my drive and passion.

    I loved this episode and I hope the guy is watching too.
    We all wish we could see his face.

    And as for my non believers….:) haha I can only imagine what they are thinking now.
    Keep rocking Marie.
    With so much love and admiration
    The SecondFirsts Lady. 🙂

  163. Anger is a great fuel for motivation, when used productively!

  164. Love ,love ,love you Marie!

  165. s

    U Rock it! I too love Christopher Walken! (Why?!)

  166. I had launched a kickstarter campaign to raise the start-up funds for my own publishing business.

    A very well off family member of mine informed me that “It sounds like you have no idea what you’re doing. I’m sorry but I cannot help support a HOBBY. Until you have a REAL professional tear apart your work I can’t just take your word that it’s any good.”

    Sigh. Some people just need to criticize in order to feel validated. The Kickstarter didn’t succeed, but I remain undaunted (and have learned from it!) Chin up, smile on, and shake it off!

  167. I had this happen with my team of female film producers here at my company Collaborative Media Productions. We are funding a film about healthy eating choices for kids. It’s a comedy and we have a star name attached and an award winning director. We have done all kinds of things to promote it and raise funds. One of the things we did was got to playgrounds where Moms & Kids are, because that is our target audience. This helps us get the word out about the movie and make connections. The Moms were so supportive they handed us cash donations asked all about the film and were very encouraging . . . and then it happened some guy said “Do you really think that you are going to raise enough money for a movie doing this?” I was quick and professional and laid him out like a press representative for myself saying “Actually, we have already raised over 15K, we have this person attached, this director, oh and our writer is a Pulitzer nominee.” He just looked at me in shock as I smiled a smile that meant nothing of the sort. I have no time for people like that but I do have time to speak up for myself and other women who don’t feel as empower to that would come across his path in the future, so I did. The great thing about all this is that he is totally the minority now. The majority of the men I know are awesome! We have so many guys that believe in us including the writer, director, and star. They are so supportive and my husband, who is not rich and bank rolling me yet, (as your DB questioned in the video above) , has got my back 100%! So there are just a few lone wolves out there who don’t get that working with smart & determined women is where it’s at!!! It’s those small minded peps who are being left behind. Not us. We are on the rocket ship to success! #GirlPower #FemaleMovieProducers #Sisterhood #Partnership #Film

  168. Recently I worked with a client who was launching a Kickstarter campaign. The campaign was to raise funds for a new type of pen technology and I was hired to provide storyboards which would be used to create the video. I did the job, was paid and the video was created.

    After 2 days on Kickstarter, the campaign raised 3 times the amount it was asking. That was amazing! However, due to the creators inability to produce a working prototype, as requested by Kickstarter, the creators canceled the campaign. Shortly after, I received this email from them;


    I left the storyboard you provided to the video crew who shot a video based on your illustrations. The result? The kickstarter campaign was cancelled midway after raising over 100k because of the video which was based on your storyboard did not sell the product.

    To say I’m disappointed would be an understatement considering the amount of money you were paid to get the job done.”

    Wow! In the two years I’ve been freelancing, this was a first. I was upset. Hell upset is putting it mildly, but I understood that providing my clients with top notch customer service was key. Anger manages everything poorly, so after I calmed down, I wrote the response below. Sorry it’s a bit long.

    “Hi John,

    I’m so sorry to hear that, is there anything I can do to help?

    After reading the description about the Kickstarter campaign, I see that it was cancelled because Kickstarter requested a video that gave a more in depth description about the product. I also read through the 200+ comments from backers. It seems that there were technical questions that were not being addressed.

    I’m sure the creators were just in shock at the amazing support from everyone and to try and answer that many inquiries at once was, I’m sure, overwhelming. Again, the script that was written did not cover anything related to everyone’s concerns, like the type of ink, ink levels, battery life, cartridge cost, how the pen mixed colors, or how the scanner worked. But that’s wasn’t it’s intent. It was meant to sell a product.

    I understand that you must be frustrated, but to blame the cancellation of the campaign on me is unjust and misplaced. The video that was shot looked amazing! And it was based 100% on the script that I was given. It sold a product and it did it well enough to raise 3 times the amount asked within 2 days!

    I think the majority of people wanted to see the pen work. Like in my original storyboards where we show the little girl sample two colors from her stuffed animal and then draw, using those colors.

    In the end, I wish you and creators well. I believe in your product and I know you will create something that the world will truly love and enjoy. Good luck.

    Take care,


    Having to deal with someone like this gave me the strength and motivation to move past the anger and contempt, address the issue in a calm manner and offer any assistance. In the end, that’s all we can do. In this business you have to welcome challenges and really enjoy solving problems. Yelling and behaving irrationally would have been disastrous and completely unprofessional from my end.

    People will be upset from time to time, but if the situation is handled with action instead of reaction, tension can be diffused and peace can be restored.

  169. You are so right on, Marie! When I first launched my blog, “I’m Not Snow White,” which focuses on the restoration, empowerment, and eduction of women, my first comment was from some anonymous person who told me I must be really into myself and think I’m all that. They obviously didn’t know me or the fact that I had facial reconstructive surgery as a child and was very sensitive to that kind of meanness. I was so crushed that I had a moment where I almost decided to quit because I didn’t want to be judged publicly. But then I realized that the person had issues and was just being a dream killer out of his/her unhappiness. I determined to put myself out there to inspire, love, and shine a light of empowerment to other women. I chose to be unfraid and to keep going. I’m so glad it did!

    Thanks for being a light of inspiration, creativity, and love, Marie.



  170. This is perfect! I have used this tool so many times in my life, especially when I am trying new things and wanting to accomplish a new dream! One that always sticks in my head is one of my teachers told me I “had” so much potential and that she was disappointed in me, being pregnant. Another one was when someone told my husband that I didn’t seem happy or content with my role as a stay at home mother. Both times it fueled me to believe in my dreams, not give up on myself and most of all, it is okay to chase a dream even if you have children, actually having children can also be very inspirational!! Great video! 🙂 Sky

  171. Some people are just downright ignorant and mean. I have a few haters that post negative reviews and nasty comments online. They just fuel me to be more successful and do my absolute best. I have such amazing and supportive customers as a result.

    Stay true to your dreams, ladies.

  172. I have had many escalator moments in my professional life – I was a supervisory civil engineer with 3 degrees and often when I would enter the room with a male colleague other guys would ask him if he brought his secretary. Never went over big when they found out I was the boss. But I left all that to pursue my dream of teaching yoga – after surviving cancer and divorce I left my 16 year career to eventually teach yoga – my dream come true. I was (and still am) teaching in a great yoga studio and after one practice a mother came up to me with her daughter and asked me to talk to her girl about teaching yoga. She was about 18 and wanted to teach. We talked for awhile and then I mentioned about travel and places to study. And then the mom told me, “well I only want her to do it for summer vacations. I want her to do more with her life”. It hit me hard – as if this were not enough. In my practices I give people peace and a sense of well being and a way to cope with the world. In my opinion – and I remind myself of this often – it is just as important or more so than any policy paper I ever wrote or any project I put on or off the drawing board. And yes it did get me fired up – I am building my own studio now and still teaching and loving it and knowing I make a difference everyday.
    Remembering this mom and all the bad secretary jokes and put downs still gets me fired up. My special saying is “don’t let the bastards get you down – stay on your mark and with your dream”. I am after about 30 years of working and dreaming and riding escalators.

  173. I’m a self-published author and….well, do I need to go on? People tend to automatically assume that I’m self-published because I couldn’t ‘get with’ a mainstream publisher. The reality is that I was so excited about each of my books that I just wanted to get out there and show them to the world as quickly as possible!! Hunting down agents, publishers etc takes time away from pursuing my passion and although it would be super awesome to have a huge contract fall on my lap, I intend on selling books either way:-) The problem is that one of my worst critics is another self-publisher author, who has no more sales or fans than I do, but have a tendency to be quite condescending. The interesting thing is that I will check out what she is doing in comparison – how is she connecting with fans? What is she doing to market her books? What is or isn’t attracting people to her websites and social media? Sometimes it is hard to recognize what you could improve with your own brand but if you look at what someone else is doing, you might get some ideas from either what they are doing right or the areas they aren’t giving enough focus. I just remind myself that perhaps she has a false sense of security that may work against her in the long run and also, having her criticisms toward me has forced me to take a closer look at ways to improve my work:-)

  174. Oh, yes, I remember clearly, a few years…
    I was very excited to enter my paintings in the All Kentucky Juried Annual Exhibition. Many artists get turned away each year, both (limited to 2) of my paintings were accepted the first year I entered. One year I helped bring out the paintings for the juror to decide to accept or reject as he selected the winning paintings. I had really looked up to the Gallery Director and thought she was very professional. We were told not to say anything to the juror. I did as instructed. She and her friend talked the whole time. One of my paintings was on the floor leaning up against a wall directly under a light, it glowed. The juror had attended Yale. He picked and chose carefully. Several previously winning artists’ work was rejected. I left the room and when I returned my painting has been moved, I assumed it did not make the cut. Paintings were lined up to be selected for winning categories. I had not heard he selected mine as, “Best in Show.” The Gallery Director told me. I was thrilled!! We were told we could tell no one for two weeks until the opening exhibit. I did as instructed. When the juror left, the Gallery Director looked at me and the first place winner and said, “he was the worst juror I have ever dealt with. He had not idea what he was doing.” We were shocked by her unprofessional attitude. She or non her friends were selected as winners and she was not happy. Apparently, in all previous exhibits, she guided the jurors to select some of her choices. He graduated from YALE!!

    I was devastated at first, as a new artist, I wanted approval by the “in crowd.” Then as Marie said, I got mad and decided I would show her. I have won several other awards since then! And I sell my art regularly too!

  175. Laura

    Yeeeesssss! Thank you, Marie! This is such an important topic!

    I’m an actor. I didn’t just wake up one day and think, “I’m gonna be an actor”, though. Theatre has been the center of my world since I was eight years old. But strangers say the most HORRIFIC things to me when I tell them this is what I do. Here are a few of my favorites:

    1) Have I seen you in anything? Oh, you mean an “aspiring actor”? What restaurant do you work at?
    2) Awww, well, you’re still in your 20’s. You’ll get over that.
    3) “Actor”? Don’t you mean “Actress”?

    And part of me feels it’s not worth my energy to respond to these things…. other times, though…. I say thing like this, (if not to them, then certainly to my mirror when I get home… and I think there is something healthy and cathartic about getting it out)

    1) I mostly work in theatre. NO not musical theatre, and no, I have not been on Broadway, but I also haven’t worked in a restaurant since I was a teen. I mostly work with kids when I’m between acting jobs, and I’m going to school online to start my own business teaching nutrition and wellness to families on the side, because I f’ing WANT to and LOVE helping people take control over their lives.
    2) Don’t think so. But thanks for that.

    I digress….

    Point is, it’s really nice to hear your story, Marie. Because when I think that people have said that kinda sh*% to YOU, it makes me super confident in taking all the little comments that come my way and just using them as fuel for the fire…. the fire that runs my incredibly successful acting career, along side my mission to help us be a healthier happier world.

    Thank you, D-bags. Thank you, Marie.
    Happy Tuesday, All.

  176. I actually had a MENTOR tell me “take the moon manifesting stuff out of your offer”. Moon Manifesting IS the core of my business!!! That was the beginning of the end of our relationship. And now I’m serving more of my ideal clients doing my “moon manifesting stuff”! LOL

  177. To Dear Marie Folio (I rarely ‘follow’ anyone on of off line but you are the exception! – you mark a clear path to progress for ones life on many levels).

    About the bumpy Escalator Ride; because you have a more pure and simple straight forward mind and heart than some of the closed up people out in the world, your reaction was ‘real’, true to your feelings/emotions-challenged; you had something nice to share with everyone that day and the big ‘Turd Muncher’ came a long and dirtied it up the party dress. Well…I learned something about myself Marie from your experience. I realized how much I have changed. In the past, if such a thing happened to me, I would have CRIED, and/or smiled and made some excuses or explanations…and so on, and felt like a fake at the party. But now, thanks to a very dear Teacher of mine from India, I am soooo less attached to (OK…most) peoples remarks toward myself or my beliefs, business, etc. Now when ‘friends’ family, enemies say to me – You are this and yuo are that and why don’t you bla, bla, bla; I usually say…Why YES! ALL of the above. My how perceptive of you! You must be hosting this event! (and..EXIT off the ‘down’ escalator).
    All the best Marie – great show – 100%
    Kathy Everett
    Kensington, MD
    [email protected]

  178. Divine timing, Marie! I am going through an ongoing elevator moment RIGHT NOW! Yes, at my bridge job I am being told that my credentials are not good enough to do what I do (in my business on the side)… just because I want to bring my passion to them. Stepping on toes and ruffling feathers, and it is only making me feel stronger and have more clarity. Thanks as always for your insight (and entertainment).
    PS. Great dress!

  179. Andrea D

    One of the things I love about you Marie is that you are a genius at reframing pretty much anything to help you and us move forward.

    It took me back to my senior year in high school – that would be 1980 – clear as day. My 6′ 5″ Calculus teacher is sitting on the desk in front of me telling me that I WILL flunk Calculus if I don’t stop coming to class late and not finishing all my assignments. Mind you, I had already been applying to colleges for engineering – chemical engineering. Funny, until just now, I never remembered that part of the memory. Only that him looming over me and telling me that I would FAIL, put such fire under my ass that I not only was never late to class again, I also got an A in that class! I went onto complete my degree in Chemical Engineering and spent most of my professional career working in male dominated professions. At this point in my life, I am pretty sick and tired of using my “I’m going to prove you wrong” stance to propel my life forward, but that doesn’t mean I can’t harness this is some way to keep me motivated.

    I like that you said that you were already super committed to creating B-School and this jackass comment gave you jet fuel to take it to another level.

  180. I guess that every time when someone underestimates me I get a big kick of motivation.

    It’s funny how much easier a task become when I do it in spite of someone’s disbelief.

    Can’t think of an example, but it seems to be true that one kick in the butt makes us take a step forward 🙂

  181. I find it usually works like this…

    You can’t do that means… You should be doing that!

    I’m going through yet another one of these escalator moments. Been through quite a few of them. 🙂

    Love the video, great job!

  182. Natalie

    I have always loved musical theatre. I intended to minor in Vocal Performance in college, whilst pursuing my bachelor’s degree in Nursing. However, when I walked in for my last lesson of the semester my sophomore year, the teacher spent the thirty minute session explaining what she thought was wrong with my self-esteem, my goals, my career choice, and why I was “unteachable.” I cried during the entire “lesson.”

    The following summer, I thought A LOT about all of the things she had said – “You lack confidence,” “If this was really your passion, you wouldn’t be studying Nursing,” “Do your parents love you?” etc.

    That painful 30-minute session fueled me to really consider where I was going with my life. I ended up changing my major that summer and I somehow came to find gratitude for all of the hurtful things she said.

    I can still remember word-for-word some of the stinging things she said, but if she hadn’t said them, I am not sure who or where I would be. I am in a better place because she helped me to open my eyes and dig deep within myself.

  183. Thank you so much for this video, Marie. Brilliant and inspiring as always! I can definitely relate. In the past, I have struggled with this feeling of not being taken seriously because I look so young, because my approach is so different, because I do indeed create “cute” things … but you know what? These are just excuses. The more I let go of these ideas about myself, the more I found that people were actually looking up to me, partly because I was revealing more of my true strengths and also because I was simply ready to see what I hadn’t been seeing before. It still is a journey, but that’s life 🙂 Have a wonderful week Marie & everyone else! Love, Anna

  184. Baren

    Totally agree with you Marie. I don’t like the feeling of the happenings but when I get focused and get the message in the comments etc, etc, I always find out that the universe is always on my side and there is always a something for me to take and strive on

  185. I always love Marie’s advice and video’s. This particular topic resounded with me as just last week I experienced an “escalator moment.” I started my nutrition consulting and counseling business this past January. In starting up a business, it’s easy to take every job/opportunity that comes your way… While I am beyond well qualified, I still felt like I should take any and all opportunities. This has put me in some consulting roles that are beneath my education, experience, and pay-grade. Last week while I was at a client, I was working on a diet food product. Key word here being *diet.*. I was getting feedback on the sample from some of the employee’s of the company. One of the employee’s expressed his strong dislike for the product sample – OK I totally get that – not everyone is going to like diet food. Then he goes on to “advise” me to, and I quote, “go to cooking school.” My head almost imploded at that ignorant and rude comment, because even if I didn’t have a Master’s degree in Food Science, and years of product and recipe development experience, the comment would have been uncalled for. I took a deep breath, and replied to him with, “My friend, I am an expert in cooking and I am sorry that you don’t care for this sample.” I was definitely hurt by this, and felt like I was being completely undervalued and underappreciated for all of the knowledge and ability that I can bring to an organization. And then I took a look within and determined – it wasn’t this man’s fault – it was my own fault for taking consulting roles that are not at my level. And that stopped me in my tracks. 2 days later I was contacted by another company for consulting. We spoke on the phone, and I went over my background. The recruiter expressed her interest and admiration, and then asked me for my rate. I gave her the rate that I believe I deserve for the work she was requesting of me. She told me that was not the rate that the company was currently paying consultants. And I told her that I would like to consult for her company, at the rate that I had provided. I haven’t heard back from her, and you know what? That is OK. My escalator moment gave me the courage to 1) ask for what I deserve, and 2) walk away from a consulting role if it is not going to challenge me and use my intellect.

    🙂 Thank you

  186. You freakin’ rock!! I love that not only are your choice of words hilarious (d-bag, turd muncher!) you are right on! There have been points in life I have let those d-bags mess with my head, but then after a few hr.s of truly looking at things to see if there is any validity to what someone’s opinion is, I pick myself up & thank them for giving me the time & space I needed to reconnect with my passion & purpose! All Hail Marie….woot woot! Keep on keeping on….love your videos & content!!

  187. Just this morning, I had a brand new personal training client who told me after our first session that she really wanted me to “push me really hard, almost until I cry.” This same client, who is a very young woman, told me at our consultation how much she dislikes herself. Now, my MO is positiviy, grace, and encouragement. I can make you sweat your face off, but I will never belittle you. We made plans for our next appointment and I have been so looking forward to giving her exactly what she needs, without any tears.

    Well, I just got an email from her, canceling any future sessions. And that’s ok. As much as I know I could be a positive influence in her life, in reality she’s not my ICA and it helped me to realize that I want to continue to be valued and appreciated for the type of services I *do* provide, because I feel awesome when I’m in my element.

    I do hope she can find what she needs, though.

    Thanks, Marie!

  188. Jamie

    That’s sad that there is people out there that are that ignorant. My THANK YOU moment was when I was getting a divorce and my soon to be ex-mother-in-law asked what I was going to do now…I told her that I was moving to Chicago to become an Investment Advisor she laughed and said no one would ever trust you with their money. The first month I was the top advisor in my office of 70 other advisors!!! I Thank her everyday!!! It made me work 100x harder!!! You GO GIRL!!!

  189. Kiersten

    When I switched from working in child care to working in an office job(the pay was a lot better!!) a new person was brought in as 2nd in command in the company. He called me into his office to discuss my role at the company and asked me if this was my first real job, when I said “No, I’ve worked in child care for the last 3 years” (I was 20 at the time), he replied with “Oh, so this IS your first real job.”

    That was the punch in the stomach moment I needed to propel myself into becoming a strong, self-confident woman no matter what profession I am in! I can now thank him for not believing in my passion for kids because it’s driving me to pursue my dream of working with children and their families!

  190. “I won’t say that you can’t be an expert without education, but your AA degree does not mark you as a credible expert” is one of many lines I could pull from a conversation I had with someone on LinkedIn when I requested to post a question (about a topic I wrote and linked to on my blog) in a moderated group. I ate his criticism and responded with the least amount of anger but after three or four exchanges I politely asked for him to stop messaging me (which he sent me one more A hole) and removed myself from the group.

    Part of the reason his comment stung so badly was because I want a Bachelors. I have goals to one day go back to college but when it’s financially and personally right for me and my family. So I did what I could do in that exact moment. I wrote, I shared, I tweeted and I continued. I created a following, built up my social media and found a different group which welcomes my comments, questions and plugs.

  191. Angel

    Every step of the way some variation of this had tried it. I raised 9k if a suggested 10 to cover my 1st yr of college. Mostly scholarships i had hunted. I was told by a “counselor” in April of my senior year i should just give up going to school. I was sitting there with acceptance letters from 6 schools &national merit scholar rankings. I attended a magnet school, but it was an off-site counseling group, offering services, claiming to want to “help” inner-city kids. I was able to laugh at her negative attempt & see her for what she was. I forgot her name, but not her face. & I still wonder how many kids she succeeded in talking out of college who could’ve gone.

  192. Leann

    Dear Marie,

    I always enjoy your emails. They are not obnoxious or cluttering like other subscriptions. I can always get good & beautiful content from you (& your team) Sometimes I even share them with my dad. The world really needs that special gift that YOU have. Another thing I appreciate is how funny-but-serious you are about your topics. Also I love how your site is not cluttered with useless ads. Please, I hope you never change that because it makes your site so friendly to visit & navigate! I also love the community of commenters. I always find more people to help me in my walk of life.

    About your experience, I think the same thing, “how can people like that exist?” Like Caesar form Planet of the Apes, I want to think we are better than that. But anyways, Feminism is a booming topic lately & I can’t understand why is now becoming the new F word & people are afraid of it. I talked with a good friend about some issues with abuse on women & he actually took offense, with a tone that said “Women aren’t the only ones who deal with those things.” & I completely understood & agreed with him. I clarified that I wasn’t isolating women as victims, & I wasn’t blaming him or the male gender. We all need more respect for each other, regardless of race, gender, class, status, etc. For me it’s ridiculous, but still goes on everyday. That man was ignorant indeed, but I applaud you for standing up to him. Again, the world needs more positive & respectful people to stand up to make their lives & in turn the world better.

    Thanks again Marie!

  193. Mary

    Thanks Marie. You always on the point it make me even want to study heart
    for my project when I heard about succeed people like u going through what
    am going through that mean one thing I will make it….<3

  194. Love the title in this video. In fact, I almost included my ex-boyfriend in the acknowledgments of my new ebook as a thank you for not believing in me. He was so unsupportive and pessimistic about the whole online business thing and even spouted off stats about how many new businesses fail every year. He said he was being “realistic”. It was definitely encouragement to believe in myself even more.

  195. Thanks Marie! As a young woman entrepreneur (who looks younger than I am), I am always asked if I’m old enough to do my job (Acupuncturist/healer). I also once got mistaken for my partner at the time’s ‘assistant.’ The most comical instance by far was this: I use Cell and Organ Regeneration Therapy in my practice (which can heal and regenerate anything), and was posting something on facebook about it, a FB friend called me out and compared me to Hitler for spreading lies and giving people false hope (which doesn’t even make sense). That was probably the first time I knew I was really following my purpose:)

  196. This was such perfect timing! My escalator moment happened this past Sunday. Well, at least the straw that broke the camel’s back happened on Sunday.

    I own a traveling fashion boutique that operates out of a 1976 GMC RV. It’s a really fun, really new approach to retail and I’m proud of the business I’ve started. I live in a small town and had owned a brick and mortar, award winning boutique here for eight years before starting this new venture. I was very involved in promoting and growing both business and the town.

    There is no license for the type of business that I have, so the city has asked me to buy a one day peddler’s license every time that I work here. Even though it is more expensive for me to do that, I realized it was less restrictive in terms of where and when my vehicle was a allowed to operate, so happily buy a license every time. The last six weeks I have been out (mind you I am very rarely here more than once a week) someone has called the police to complain that I am violating some rule, law or other sensibility, which I am not, according to my discussions with the city officials here. I have had to deal with the police coming on my vehicle every time I am out, being cited for things that my license should cover, that other vehicles are doing but not being cited for, basically feeling targeted in my own community. It is petty and mean and oh so busy-body driven.

    At first, I hit the couch in tears, but by the end of the day, I decided, SCREW THEM. They don’t deserve to have my business here, they don’t deserve to make money off of me and they don’t deserve my promoting their town to people all over the Bay Area when I’m out conducting business in other areas. It has lit a huge fire under me to get my business known in other places and when people ask about my little town on the water, I now tell them not to bother, there is not much interesting happening there. We get a great response to our business every where we go, and I am choosing to do business with positive, creative fun people who really appreciate and enjoy the GoGo Glam shopping experience and our lovely vehicle “Lola”.

  197. Powerful topic Marie!
    Based on what I’ve read here and experienced, I’d say there’s some sh!! happening online that needs to change!

    I had a situation that led to (proven) divisive retaliatory actions against me from a popular teacher online! After which, I severed the relationship. This was someone I invested thousands of dollars to work with, trusted, valued.

    It was a huge wake up call!

    It reinforced the fact that just because people make lots of money–doesn’t mean they observe ethical business practices.

    That experience fueled my fire to move forward with even more conviction-and taught me to be more scrupulous when opting into programs+certifications online!

  198. First Thank You Marie for all you great work!

    My Escalator moment:
    After running Latin Caribbean parties and Cuban Salsa dance classes for about 8 years, one my frequent party goers – a business man said to me a night.
    “I saw the article in the local paper about you, I realize you actually have a business degree???? Would you like to get a real job and come and work for me? ”
    Trying to keep my professional smile I said…. Did you think I am doing this because I can’t do anything else?
    His short reply: “Well Yes”
    Still smiling I just replied that I am one of the lucky ones to make a living on what I love to do and feel blessed to bring joy, smiles and social connection into peoples lives through my work.

    This just made ‘fired me up’ to keep doing what I do and push on to do it better.
    Hope my story can inspire others to keep going for their dreams!

  199. Oh boy, Marie! Recently I had an experience similar to yours.(with the exception that I was stuck with this people) I never in my dreams would have thought that you would encounter that type of poop people. Especially since you have proven again and again your success! On September 6th I attended a Mastermind with Amy Porterfield. I learned a lot and I met a lot of like-minded people. I was Pumped and VERY Excited! After the event, I met my cousin and her husband for dinner. As soon as I met them at the restaurant and ordered dinner I felt “very uncomfortable”. (I ignore it because I was very excited about the event I had just attended. The following morning the same cousin and her husband and I went to breakfast. My cousin’s husband said to me: “Why are you doing that? Wasting your time! You should go back and work in Real Estate” I explained what I had learned at BSchool and I explained that I am not doing MLM. He went on to say “you are masturbating your brain” I said WHAT? (for a split second I thought I did not hear the right word) He repeated it. I told him again what my plans are and what I am focusing on. He went on and on – and lots of garbage was coming out of his mouth. I could NOT believe that for years I had respected this man because he was my cousin’s husband. I totally lost respect for him. Yes, like Marie said “this guy proved he is ignorant piece of poop” I said to him that I understand his “concern” but I am working on my business and my future. I was very polite and respectful. Despite the fact that he verbally “trashed me”. His response was “everything I said to you went over your head”. Again, he trashed me! I wished I could walk out of the restaurant, I wished I could through the cup of coffee on his face…But had left my car at another location and I was in their car. I could not walk away from this “horrible” experience. By the time we arrive to the place where my car was, I gave him and my cousin a hug and said “Thank you for talking with me and not believing in me” with a BIG bright smile 🙂 This only PUMPED me to FOCUS and PROVE them wrong. I really BELIEVE I am in the right path and soon enough I will prove to them and to the rest of the “haters” I have reached SUCCESS. 🙂

  200. I was enlisted in the Navy and got pulled out of the ranks to become an officer. This meant that I needed to go to University and then get commissioned. When I rocked up to the Uni the Officer in charge of the intake class was from one of the academies and had zero respect for Enlisted people and felt he was better than them. He flat out told me that he didn’t expect me to do as well as the obviously more academically suited kids who had gotten the scholarships out of high school and that I would probably get pregnant or just drop out like the last enlisted people he had worked with had. WTFark??????
    That fired me in to outer space. I not only got straight A’s for the first several years of uni and graduated with top honours but I was selected to represent our state in a Nursing Fellowship and then the following year got selected to represent the Nation. I was even nominated by our University for the Rhodes Scholarship. I will never forget that sad excuse for an officer as long as I live. And yes I thank him for being such a Dbag that he fired me up with powerful rocket fuel.

  201. Love this so much! I grew up being told I was stupid and would never amount to anything. I was told that I was irretrievably broken after being thrown off a building at fifteen. I didn’t listen. What do they know? They were standing on the outside, on the periphery of my life. They weren’t inside my soul, and had no idea of the dreams and determination rattling about in there! I am now a published author with a divine little girl. They were wrong and I was right! Don’t you go believing the nonsense people will sometimes hurl at you. See that it is their own “stuff,” and that they must be bitterly unhappy to try and bring you down. xxx

  202. Erica Risberg

    Hey Marie,

    I have a good one for you: I was at the funeral of a family friend a few years ago and bumped into a coach from high school whom I hadn’t seen in over 20 years. I walked up to him and smiled, telling him how nice it was to see him. He said it was great to see me to and asked me what I was up to. I responded with the comment that I wasn’t sure if he knew it at the time, but I was diagnosed with dyslexia in high school, and wounded up getting a Ph.D. in history.

    His response: How do you like flipping burgers?

    It took me a good minute to keep myself from hitting him. I responded with: I don’t know what you’re talking about: I’m a consultant and voiceover talent.

    He said: voiceover talent? I’ve always wanted to do that. How do you get in the business?

    I said: it’s really hard, and walked away.

    Talk about a motivator! I still roll my eyes about it, but it put a fire in my belly to prove him wrong!

  203. When I was first starting out as a Holistic Nutritionist, I met a fellow who wanted to combine our 2 businesses. We worked together for a while, we had good ideas but months down the road when things got sour, I decided to split and do my own thing. After his initial hurt he turned to anger and told me that I needed him, that I wouldn’t be able to be profitable on my own. That I somehow depended on his existence for my personal success. I never, ever responded to his angry messages with anger in return…. and I haven’t thought about it in a long time. It was his own fear of working alone that caused those angry words. It forced me to work even harder because I KNEW it wasn’t true. I think every time something negative happens it is meant to spur on positivity on the other side/receiving end… even though at the time it might be difficult to see through the red. Now I LOVE every day working with my clients, building programs to help others with their nutrition, being creative, learning so much taking business courses and even Instructing nutrition to future RHN’s at the local Institute.
    The path getting here might have been different if it weren’t for this sour story of going my own way….

    Thanks for the video’s Marie, us entrepreneurial girls’ at the yoga studio watch every Tuesday.

  204. Somewhat the same, but from multiple people. But it was my V.P. at the time who said to me after executive offices approved the concept proposal and I was announced I would be developing and running of the new depart start up. He towered over me and said, you know it will never take off.

    In disbelief I asked him, why would he say that? He replied with, “why would it?” I replied with the fact of, “because I will be running it! That’s why.”

    And at 9-years later with His Grace!
    Let everyone’s passion shine.
    Thank you Marie, your the best!

    Thanks Marie, you are the best!

    Because I will be running it, that’s why!

  205. Turd muncher is definitely one for the rolodex!

    My escalator moment: a comment by my (former) boss not to me directly, but really sent that zing up my spine. She said, “Everyone these days just wants to sit around and make art, & not work hard at a job.” Whaaa? How many things are wrong with this statement?! Making art IS a job that requires a lot of hard work. And further it made me think, “Actually that is a great idea; I’d like to do that, too!”

    Less than a year later she did me a huge favor & ‘let me go’. I didn’t have the courage to leave on my own, but now instead of working my butt off toward her dream, I make MY art & work my butt off for my own dreams!

  206. Back when I was living in the UK, I had a couple of men (one who was my classmate and another who my friends’ ex-boyfriend and roommate) call me a lesbian or tell me that I would never find a man. In both cases it was a reaction to a time when I spoke up for myself and set boundaries for myself with them and decided not to put up with their aggressive behavior.

    In hindsight, I suppose when I stepped into my personal power it must have been a scary thing to witness. Ha ha ha! I suppose my bad-assery was intimidating. I think its really funny now.

  207. I love the synchronicity of this video Marie. I just wrote a post about this over on my site last week (
    I had a woman email me some downright rude and offensive comments about my pricing for a workshop I was offering to host. It was one of my first experiences dealing with that kind of backlash around my work – and quite frankly it left me feeling super pissed off!

    After letting my anger flow (and many expletives), I realized that I am indeed grateful to her. For making me realize that I don’t need her opinions in order to do what I do. In fact, I had hosted a sold-out workshop at the very price she deemed “so expensive nobody will pay for it”. BAM.

    Thanks for this topic Marie – it’s an important one and something we all come up against once we make ourselves more visible online and in the world.

  208. I’ve had so many times, people think it’s my husband supporting me, when I’ve always supported him with my business. But the escalator moments that comes to my mind are when men have said something sexually inappropriate to me. (Strangers on the street.) I lecture them like a mother when this happens.”Never say that to a woman again!”

    I used to be shocked when other male witness act as if they didn’t hear.

    I get determined to fight for equality and educate people in the way to allow everyone to have value.

  209. Theresa

    HA! You said turd muncher! LOL!! I have met many turd munchers in my life, people who have said my dreams were unrealistic. Well, that just makes me even more determined to follow my dreams. When people put down the things I want to do, it only proves that they don’t have the balls the follow their own dreams. Or maybe they don’t have any dreams. So it makes them feel better to make me feel bad about having dreams. It might sting at first, but I take a breath and then just brush it off. I don’t argue with them. I just say “well, I’m still going to try.”

  210. My experience wasn’t quite so negative but certainly spurred me on. I was talking through my frustrations of growing my direct sales team and doing a bit of “why can’t I just catch a break”. Her response (and she was deliberately being provocative) was “I don’t think you do want to be a director. If you did I think you’d be able to get out there and just make it happen”. I was so shocked and started arguing that I did really want it. Our coaching call ended and I went out and grew my team by 6, and stepped up 2 career levels in the next month and a half versus the last 6 years. We both knew want she was doing but it was enough to provoke me into shaking my excuses and making it happen.

  211. Happens all the time, especially from those close to me who don’t understand my work. Lately, I’ve taken strength that I must be on the right track if the instances have increased.

    Recently I discovered how off track I was with my business and have worked hard over the last 6 months to get back on. Wonderful things are happening now and the activity is providing more activity. Truly, as I become closer to my goals and the work is more focused, it seems the interesting comments occur with greater frequency. My determination to carry through and succeed with my business increases with each careless comment from someone else.

  212. Oliver Rojas

    Small version of what you are talking about.
    Currently working on keeping a small self-managed condo association alive. When I told a friend of the difficulties involved with operating it he suggested I looking into having it managed professionally. After hearing this it prompted me to compose an e-mail I was hesitating to send to other association members.
    Yes..non-believers don’t always have the best advice. After sending the e-mail luckily I received a response by 33% of them (all 2 other people, hehe…) and was able to proceed with installing a lock on our backyard gate.

  213. cha

    I graduated with a course that nobody(some) does’nt like- an Agriculture.
    im always got criticize knowing that my course is such an “ewww”, for no one doesnt like to cultivate a land and they always told me that I am A farmer.
    I KEPT pushing my course because aside from the fact that I learned so much in agricultural economics, ive also learn to love the environment. Now I am happy believing that I know thats something can satisfy my happiness
    I am agriculturist no matter what

  214. It’s called the tall poppy syndrome. It is alive and well here in Australia. Those kind of folk just don’t want to see others getting ahead of them. I like the escalator metaphor. I can use that to imagine myself at the top of the escalator, looking down on those who put me down. It doesn’t matter what they say, they will always be going at the same pace, heading in the same direction as me, but I will be always a few steps ahead of them.

  215. Tammy

    I really needed this message tonight. Thank you, Marie!

  216. Janice

    As I am starting my own Health Coaching business I still need a second income to stay afloat. In an interview this morning I was informed that I was the wrong color, not bi-lingual, and I am old. Really really?! So what if I am white, English speaking and 53 years young! Instead of getting angry I smiled at her and replied “I don’t see dirt. I see the sun. So I know I am not dead. Thank you for your time today. I hope you have a blessed remainder of your day.” Of course once I was out of their parking lot I had a break down, but at least I didn’t loose it in that office. Good thing God gave me great friends to call and cry on their shoulders. And now this! Marie, you made my day!

  217. Ian

    Loved it Marie

    Yes you are right, One must never let the stupid negative thoughts crush your dreams. Always strive to prove them wrong.
    You Inspire me to keep my dreams alive no matter what.
    My dreams are slowly coming true, it has been two wasted years where I have been tossed between horrible job after another, but the important thing is to stay focused. The world is full of people who never realize their dreams and live life, never knowing who or what they could have been. I am different and have my mind focused on what and where I need to be. Regards Ian

  218. My most notable escalator moment is when on a whim, a friend of mine asked me to raise $4,000 for the Arthritis Foundation and participate in the Dublin marathon and I decided to do it. I’m not a runner, nor am I athletic, but I was always active in some way. My roommate and my boyfriend at the time did not believe that I was going to go through with it or even finish the marathon…I showed them!

  219. I have always had ‘out of the box’ business ideas that have always led to success. When I was launching my biggest, my own mother called me and said ‘You have finally bitten off more than you can chew.’ I love my mother and was glad to prove her wrong. It in part fuelled me. My desire to be successful made it so. Years later, as a salon owner and hairdresser, I made the decision to run for mayor of the city I live in. I ran a great campaign and many along the way stated ‘How can a hairdresser run for mayor?’ The fact that I ran community organizations, a breakfast program for inner-city kids, started the local business commission and sat on many boards did not seem to be relevant to them. I did not win the election but hands down won most of the debates. The federal politician(who was a former mayor’s son) won. The retired police officer came in second. The hairdresser lost second place by only a few votes. This was a huge success for me, even though I did not win. It showed the haters and nonbelievers to shut the fuck up. You never know what we are capable of.

  220. Eejee Art

    I am yet at finding a target for the fuel of the last one.
    So here I am at that place that is supposed to help me and the very person that is supposed to help me find back the carpet under my feet says: Forget it, at this time of your life, the only thing you will be ever able to do is placing items on a shelves or waiting at table (both honorable position I did when I was attending university in my youth, so I am not denigrating the position). Or even better, you really should think to return to your mom (At 41, married…?), frankly immigrating was really a dumb idea, you should have think about the consequences before even coming here.
    But I am even more determinate now. I don’t quite know how it will gel, but I sure am working at *not* going back to wait table and place items on shelves. There is plenty of students or strater and more nimble people than me for this.


  221. Emma

    I’ve had someone who has been a primary part of my life tell me I am ‘hopeless’, that I should ‘never follow my dreams, and if I do I’ll end up with cancer and die’, I have been told they don’t like my music, that I don’t have the ‘x factor’ and that I should just give up. That I need to wake up to the real world. That I’ll never have any money and just be an old spinster alone. And the list goes on. All this on the one person. I guess am so proud that I have booked in another singing gig. After completely shutting dowsn from the last attack. That’s pretty courageous of me.

  222. Vee

    I remember my friends told me that I can’t do what the man have done in the independent business we were running. The man kept on provoking us gals. I got tired and stop talking and started doing and showing results and I achieve what others did not. By doing it first it inspired others to do it too. Because being the first woman to break it was a great feeling. 😉 I am grateful for the ones who said you are just a woman with kids you can’t do it. But I did it and got my tropic and all the bonus too. So it who I became at the end that matter more than anything else.

  223. I love this story Marie, I too have been told I have a “cute business.” I just smile and know that I probably make more money than the man who is saying it to me.

    It’s been 25 years since I quit a 6-figure job to start my first company. Sadly attitudes haven’t changed all that much. But that doesn’t stop us from doing what we do. And you’re right, being underestimated can be a motivator.

  224. I like this story. Obviously this man had an underlining fearful problem (if there’s anything I’ve learned from Gabby B). Thanks for sharing your story. I wonder if you could do a follow up and tell us something someone has said now and how/if your reaction was different to the last time?

  225. Pia

    I wish I was able to take all those ‘escalator moments’ and flip like you are able to do. Instead I have always let them pile on top of me.
    I will make it my mission THIS month, to change that.
    I am re-reading one of the many resources you have recommended (She Takes On The World) and will use her tips and your guidance to get fuelled up.
    As always, thank you for your insights.

  226. Max

    Although English is not my first language, my full time job in corporate services for over 18 years requires me to frequently write and converse in English.

    A couple of years ago, I HAD a ‘friend’ who told me that my job was REALLLLLLY EASY just because she had a year of working experience as a general clerk (I guess she just assumed that my job title was a clerk (you know, it’s like saying “I’m just a clerk and my job is realllllly simple and easy” – she was dead wrong, but I was taken aback so much by her insensitive comment that I didn’t bother to correct her (I wished I did! sh*t! LOL).

    Well, today I am the Head of the Corporate Services Department and I am blessed with a boss who appreciates me as a person and who rewards my contributions handsomely! (I didn’t mean to brag – I just wish I could have said this to her face!).

    As for her, she is obviously no longer in my circle of friends. And for the record, she writes and speaks terrible English! I should have told her to attend some Business English classes because English is SOOOOO EASY to learn!!!

  227. Cordie

    Thank you Marie!!! I really needed this today 😉

  228. Nikita

    Hey Marie,
    i liked your today’s video as usual.
    I had a same incidence happened with me, my aunt told once my mother that your daughter is so like your husband that is my father, like whatever she starts she doesn’t finish it and she quits. that shook me to the ground, i respect her always and because of this incidence i think i am gonna prove them wrong! i am just on a start of my career and i took further studies over a full time job, tis made her say that.

    I don’ t know about future, but your video made me think, if i don’t believe in me then who will?
    Thanks Marie.

  229. When I was accepted into the most prestigious law school in my city as a mature age student, my father said to me “I thought only smart people got into things like law!” Yes this flawed me and devastated me and I am sure it was tattooed on my soul when those words came from his mouth, but it made me more determined than ever to do well and graduate as a lawyer, which I did. Now I ignore other peoples comments and use my own inner drive to motivate and encourage me!!

  230. Danielle

    Dear Marie,
    You are beautiful, successful and helpful to so many people. Anyone who would say this to you clearly hates women and hates himself as well. Yes it is surprising that ignorant people like that still exist. I love your positivity. Thank you for brightening my day. Love xx

  231. Carol Prendergast

    My brother in law is the biggest asshole on planet I think, constantly puts me down, I want to punch his lights out ! But not to be deterred, I make more $$ than he’ll ever make, and now my w/site will be online soon, then I’ll have the last laugh and he can eat humble pie loaded with poop as you yanks say, we say shit !! he he

  232. Kelsey

    In 2011, I decided to move from a stressful teaching job in the US to one in the arts in Scotland. At my going away party, one of my good friends asked me, “So let’s be honest, who are you really helping in that job besides yourself?”

    I was instantly filled with self-doubt, and it stayed with me for a good few months after I moved. But it motivated me to find all the ways the arts helps people heal, find their voice, and build confidence. I stand stronger now knowing that what I do makes a positive impact on the world. Thanks to him, and all those who toss out the condescending, “Oh, that’s nice,” when I explain what I do. It’s helped me find my strength.

  233. Thankyou Marie for my Tuesday Dose of Awesomeness!

    The video and comments really resonate with me!

    Indeed, there will always be people that don’t see into your vision or understand the path you have chosen- there will always be people that cannot fathom the endless possibilities that are out there for the taking.

    We must continue to pursue our goals and dreams with “reckless abandon” .

    What I have learnt :
    – #winnersneverquit

    – One of the hardest things to deal with is when the peoples close to you – knock you down , I think it hurts more especially when’s you value their opinions! I have learnt to use this as fuel, my fuel to kick ass and succeed!

    – It’s very easy for the seed of doubt to be planted in your soul and it can consume very quickly – I have experienced it but it amazing when your able to come out the other side and Say yes I did it! You owe it to your whole being to not let fear -self doubt consume you. Otherwise you wake up one day and say why why why didn’t I!

    – There will always be dream killers in your midst – becareful
    Who share dreams with not everyone is interested in your grand plans . That’s why I love Marie TV Roll with like minded individuals and soar

    – opinions are like A holes everyone has them ( sorry for the bluntness) but true it so easy to be critic !


  234. This video made me think of one situation I experienced not so long ago. That day I felt really terrible, but now I can laugh about it and be thankful 🙂

    I was working as a PR & Marketing specialist in one company for many years and felt that it was time to change something, find a new job, new challenges, change the scenery etc. What was very particular about that company is that they loved to fire people they didn’t need but they hated when someone decided to leave the company for some other job. So one day when the news had spread around that I was leaving one of the TOP managers came to see me, chit-chat, all smiles and just by the way said that: “Well, may be you should better turn to knitting or crocheting”. I was a very good PR professional and this remark with the message “you are a crappy PR pro, go do some work that does not require high IQ” clearly insulted me. It wasn’t that I did not expect some bad reaction from the top representatives of the company, but still it hurt.

    Fast forward one year later. Here I am building my own millinery brand, making hats and having the best time of my life doing what I love to do. And if needed I can crochet or knit trimming for my gorgeous hats with a smile on my face 😉 I sometimes think about those top managers – do they spend each day doing things they love with a smile on their face?! 😉

  235. I recently competed in a local fundraiser where we were to create a cupcake display featuring 150 cupcakes to raise money for a non-profit that supports the Army unit my husband is in. Since I am a food blogger and cupcakes are my niche, I thought this would be an event I could really excel at! Unfortunately, my confidence came across as arrogance to some and they let me know. That punch really hurt. I wrote about the entire event, the good the bad and how I felt about it all on my blog, JavaCupcake. ( But… now, I feel like I’m going to take that negativity and put it toward planning a cupcake event that will be even bigger and better and completely AMAZING! 🙂 Thanks for the inspiration!

  236. I recently published a video about spirituality and feminism and had my own elevator moment when the anti-feminists came out of the woodwork. I had the same reaction as you Marie – it fired me up and go me sooo motivated to do more!

  237. This topic is soooo relatable. My elevator moment lasted for a couple of years.

    I’ve worked as a host in a national television broadcaster for 10 years in the Netherlands. I had a ‘dreamjob’ but my editor in chief kept telling me that I would NEVER do what I dreamed of: host my own talkshow. He kept making fun of me and telling me I was delusional for even thinking this could be possible.

    Two years ago I decided to follow my heart and, instead of waiting for him to say yes to me, I decided to say yes to myself.

    I founded an online platform with a weekly online talkshow where I interview entrepreneurial women that dare to be really honest about the choices they make in their careers & love lifes and what really happens (the good and the challenges) when you dare to follow your heart.

    This year something really amazing happened! International TV channel TLC ‘discovered’ and picked up my online show (that is litterally filmed in my own livingroom!)

    Besides the fact that, thanx to Marie’s B-school I am able to support myself and my family through my talkshow blog, being picked up by TLC was such a cherry on top!

    I would loooooooove to say thanx to my former editor in chief. For being Ab-sooooo-lute-ly wrong about my and inspiring me to find my own way.
    Thanx Gremlin!

  238. Grace

    Thank you, Marie! I am still struggling to find my way. I love education and technology, but feel I was underestimated by my colleagues quite often. One who I allowed to take up a lot of valuable time always downplayed my accomplishments as a teacher and after speaking with her, I always got the sense she thought I was second-rate. Because she seemed to enjoy being around me and liked me, I thought her opinion must be true.
    Now, after relocating to be close to family, I have taken my unsuccessful interviews personally. I finally was offered a job, yet turned it down because I still feel not quite good enough. I want to turn this constant gnawing self-lacking that I feel and use my talents to help others, but am not sure how outside of the regular public school system.
    Any ideas or advice from all of you wonderful life coaches would be greatly appreciated!

  239. Rim

    Sometimes we meet people that we respect for something they do and that feels so special for us.One day, I asked one of these people about what he was thinking of me ? And he said :”I do not really appreciate your personnality , because you are always trying to show up and you lie too much “.That made me lost in my ideas saying what did I do “So”wrong that made him say that? Am I really that person he says ?A bunch of questions that were asked after looking absolutly stupid by denying what he said and defending myself .But I knew that this guy would never understand that and would never believe in me ! So I had to move on with this challenging idea and turning it to positive income !

  240. Marie, I’ve been a loyal follower for years. This is my first comment since finding you in 2009. Finally, after years of soul searching and watching your inspirational videos, I have had the courage at 27 to stop working the 9-5 grind and follow my dreams. My partner (also a huge fan!) and I are starting an online lifestyle magazine ( launching next month- ekk crunch tim! While we have had some overwhelming support from our families and friends, that hasn’t come without judgment as well. Some friends, and surprisingly people I’m not even very close to, have judged me for not having a traditional job at my age, etc. Everything about this feels right, except the external blah blah. Watching posts like this really inspire me to shut the poop out and keep forging on.

    Thank you again for being such an inspiration to young women entrepreneurs.

    Cris Ramos

  241. I have definitely had my share of “elevator” moments! I run an ecommerce business and I think people feel free to be even nastier when they don’t have to look you in the eye. The negative feedback does hurt but it has driven me to continue to polish, refine, add, and create more. It’s made me better!

  242. Thank you for this, Marie!! I got a little hate email about my blog this week, and a friend sent me your video this morning — PERFECT TIMING! Now I feel even more fired up to do awesome things. You rock.

  243. Great topic, Marie. Thank you for your transparency.
    As a Conductor (orchestra, choir, musicals, etc.) rejection and put-down is part and parcel of my daily routine, especially from other performers and industry “experts.” But once-in-a-while it stings. I could refer to several such occasions, but here is something specific, as requested:

    After moving to the USA the second time, I couldn’t get either of my Masters degrees accredited so I could teach Higher Ed, so I applied for another one that had plenty of evidence of getting accredited in the USA. I submitted my work and it was rejected. The result? In order to (officially) improve my composition skills, and (unofficially) prove the adjudicators wrong, I embarked on my #PsalmQuest to compose 150 new pieces of music by the time I’m 50. Yes, at the time of the rejection I was following Chris Guillebeau’s country quest which inspired the actual goal: a large number by a certain age.

    At this point I’ve completed 30 compositions in 18 months: that’s 20% of the project complete, and I’m 0.2% ahead of schedule. Even if I don’t get the accreditation and don’t get to teach Higher Ed in the USA, I am learning a great deal, sharing a great deal with those who are interested, helping others with their own journeys and quests, and will leave quite a legacy!

    So, thank you to everyone in the formal Education system! I’m in a much happier and accomplished place thanks to that and other put-downs. Hopefully one day we can work together again and even more people can benefit as a result… Until then, I’ll continue my own education through Marie Forleo et al 😉

  244. This was such an awesome video. I had a similar experience: a mentor/colleague–who I thought was supportive–suddenly did a 180 on me and what was once “your idea/concept is awesome” turned into “your idea sucks and its never going to go anywhere…might as well pack it in” I took that advice and shoved it you-no-where! I often think of that moment and use it as my dart board for success: I take aim, launch, and strike center. Nay-sayers exist where-ever you are in the world. It’s your opportunity and gift by the universe to get back on track and confirm that your personal mission is all part of that master plan.

  245. Not explaining your online business is also a good way to go, an online business is messy, its a lot of hard work (the online gurus and coaches have painted a different picture). Don’t explain to anyone, just roll up your sleeves, less talk more action.

  246. My “haters” tend to be my family. Because I don’t have a “real job” or an office where I can go to work during the day I can’t be left alone for more than five or ten minutes at a time. Even though I work all day long trying to get my publishing company to move forward. When I politely remind them, “You know I do have a job right? I am working?” They reply with sometimes disgusted, but always forceful, “NO.” I think I could handle it better if it was some guy on an escalator that I’d never have to see again, but I live at home with a family who thinks you have to have a college degree and a “real job” to be any kind of successful. I think that’s the hardest. Still, I use it to motivate me. I have supporters, even if they aren’t my family.

  247. I remember being super excited about my first in print writing gig for what I would call “real” money – a professional level pay. I shared the news with my mom and told her about my other prospects. Her response was “but Cherise, the plan is to get a real job outside of the home, right?” – talk about deflated. I was a helium balloon after a kids birthday party. I told her if the most amazing position in the world came around – i.e. nail polish namer for OPI – I would consider it, but this IS my job.

    That moment made me get serious about my goal. I now had a benchmark to work towards – grow my freelance writing business to where I make the same monthly income amount I was making at my former salaried office job. I am doing it not to show her, but to show me what I am capable of if I work hard and believe.

  248. I was on a Disney cruise with my family and stopped into the spa for a pedicure. The girl doing my feet asked me what I do and told her I sell all natural skincare. I had just launched my line and was feeling so proud. She spent the next hour basically laughing at me, tell me that natural ingredients doing do a thing for your skin.

    After I left the spa, I was on the deck hanging with my family when a woman walked by with her kids. She was not attractive but you could just see the love that she had for her kids and in an instant I could see how beautiful she was from the inside out.

    Since that moment, my focus has been not selling skincare but making women feel good about themselves, so that they wake up in the morning, looking the mirror and see the best version of themselves.

    Who knew I would get all that with a pedicure?

  249. Arnaldo

    You always have an unique way to make any end message fun and understandable. I do respect that, big time. You always deliver the goods. Thank you!

  250. Some criticisms hurt a lot but sometimes experiencing these makes us stronger and succeed. I experienced this before and I used this to prove to them that I can exert an effort and reach the team’s goals.

  251. Cassandra

    I am the oldest sister of my 3 sisters. I don’t on a business yet but everything I undertake or speak about is about improving who were are as individuals, from money, food, and character. Because I am a generous person one of my sisters thought to take advantage so I disconnected her and out of her mouth in from of our family came the most buried jealousy disrespect she had for me. But the surprising thing inside me new what she was saying not true about me, so when she had to get a breath to continue degrading me, I said; what you are saying are things about yourself and I was sorry to heard you are that mess-up on the inside. The difference was I didn’t have one nasty word to say to her and I realize in that moment what it felt like to be clean (or different) on the inside. I walked away with my dignity.

  252. I’m wired the same way Marie. I must say in this video you seem a little tired/ lethargic. Are you sad? Love you…

  253. Oh my. I get this a lot from people who are angry about their health and they are referred by a doctor. Some of them can be mean mean and mean. I have had this so much and I’m such a caring soul. This helped me. Thank you Marie – I loved this. Katie 🙂

  254. I just want to thank for adding to my vocabulary the word,

    Love this idea of assholery being fuel to your fire, thanks!

  255. Zélia

    My ex country manager told me that I was not made for marketing. That I must quit my career project and do something complety different.

    Now I am a successful freelance community manager and Content Strategist.

    And i love my job and I am successful !

    I read a lot, learn a lot and wants to show to myself that I can do it.

    And hell yes I can do it.

  256. Ana Galvão

    Hey Marie and everyone!

    I´m passing by to thank you for this wonderful video (and the super fun bonus, loved it!)

    I had a really punch in the gut last week and was feeling so uncapable and unworthy at my work, when I opened my email and there was Marie and a lovely episode of Marie Tv with a theme that was just what I needed to hear!

    I strongly believe that there´s no such thing as coincidence, and it felt like my silent cry for help just reached me. So thanks Marie, for the lesson! It really gave me strength to go on 🙂

    Best regards from Brazil!

  257. Marie, this is such a great topic! It proves even more how important having the right mindset is. By the way, you look absolutely gorgeous with that awesome dress (respectfully speaking). Keep it coming, champ!

  258. Loved this. Really needed the flashback. My escalator moment, a standoff with 2 of my mentors and former employers. We were arguing about the potential for clients to handle more web work if we provided the tutorials.

    They didn’t think it was profitable. I believe in people and thank the gods I believed in myself because I’ve been proving them wrong for over 3 years now. – Super Haute dress today Marie! Thanks!!

  259. Lea

    Dear Marie, I had dinner last night with my mom and a friend. I told them about what happened to you on the escalator. There were gasps and jaw dropping and then a great conversation ensued about our own escalator moments… We talked about your reframe of using put downs to fire us up. We came up with some pretty juicy in the moment responses to your escalator moment as well as our own successful in the moment retorts as well as our failures. With a burst of imagination we even transformed those past hurts into successes! Thank you so much!

  260. One of my most significant elevator moments (a time where someone didn’t believe in me and it motivated me to prove them wrong):

    In 1998, I trained to be a rafting guide in Ohiopyle, PA on the lower Youghiogheny river. The guy in charge of the training, Scott Downs, was a chauvinistic jerk who, among other things, told me I wasn’t cut out to be a rafting guide- not strong enough, not good enough, etc, and he wouldn’t even let me finish the training! It was terrible. He also shouted at me, on the same day, “if you want to go down that river, you get in that kayak because that’s the only way you’re going down!”- I squeaked “ok…”, got a crash course on how to wet exit and then followed this commercial rafting trip down a class 3/4 river, swimming every single rapid and having to self rescue since there was no one looking out for me…. I was certain that I may not survive the trip, as I swam toward every undercut rock and sieve where people had died on the Yough. Possibly the scariest moment of my life.

    I survived, and I spent the next 13 years, spitting the name “Scott Downs” with venom on my tongue, as I got over the fear instilled in me that day, got my roll, became a solid class 3/4 kayaker, guided rafting trips on the Taiya River in Alaska for 3 years, so focused on PROVING HIM WRONG… I imagined what it would be like to go up to Scott Downs and tell that f*%^er that, in spite of him, I did exactly what he told me I couldn’t do!

    In 2011, I drove across the country to visit friends and family, and a good friend said “hey! There’s a party in Ohiopyle on Saturday, do you want to go with me? Of course, I said yes because I hadn’t been back to Ohiopyle since that summer of 1998, and I wanted to see the place that my river guiding career began…

    Turns out, the party was an employee party for the company I trained with all those years ago! Obviously I was meant to be there… It was powerful to realize how far I had come in the years since I last stepped foot in this town. And then, there he was. Scott Downs, the man I had imagined facing for 13 years. The only person I had ever felt such pure, unadulterated hate for.

    I stood back and just listened for a minute, feeling my body shaking with the anticipation of facing this man I had imagined facing for so long. I waited for a break in the conversation and I walked up.


    He turned to me with a look that one would give to a bug that he was about to squish with his boot.

    “You don’t remember me, but thirteen years ago, I trained to be a rafting guide with you. Thirteen years ago, you told me I wasn’t cut out to be a raft guide, and I have waited a long time for the chance to tell you that in spite of you, I have been a river guide for most of the last 13 years.”

    He stopped me. “Are you yelling at me?”

    I paused, searching for the right answer. I realized that, no, I was not yelling at him. I was here to thank him. I told him so.

    He offered me a glass of wine.

    I told him that I was so determined to prove him wrong that it allowed me to step through a whole lot of barriers I felt in myself to prove that I AM good enough. I pushed through the intense fear I felt after my terrifying first kayaking experience, coming out on the other end as a competent kayaker and a successful raft guide, and if it weren’t for the fury I felt toward him for telling me I couldn’t do it, my life might have been very different.

    I would have never met my husband while looking for someone to kayak with who could deal with my paralyzing panic on the river. I would have never been hired as a hiking and rafting guide in Alaska. Since my re-encounter with Scott Downs, I have built a successful career guiding canoe trips with The River’s Path.

    I realized that Scott was the catalyst that set the course for every major event that has happened in my life. I thought of the butterfly effect… The possibility that the flap of a butterfly’s wings can change the course of everything… Scott Downs was my butterfly!

    I had the chance to thank him, and it was the absolute prime example in my life of coming full circle to the place where this phase of my life began.

    This video made me remember the opportunity to come full circle and face the man who became the example in my mind of everyone in my life who told me I wasn’t good enough.

  261. Thank you for this great video, Marie! I’ve just realized that I’ve been listening to that disapproving voice in my head telling me I can’t do something and believing it! I’ve been believing in the “not” me. Hmmmm, you’ve seriously got me wondering, “What if I didn’t believe me?” “What if I didn’t believe in that voice of negativity in my own head?” I’ve been stopping me all along, before I begin. I actually am saying “NO MORE! to this dynamic.” Do you think it’s a “sign” or an indicator of when you are really going for something BIG, people’s judgments of you get bigger and
    louder? I might even consider others judging me as “proof” that I’m living a bigger life and dreaming a bigger dream than I’ve ever done before! Thank you!

  262. Woof! Agreed, what a D-Bag!

    Similarly, my “escalator moment” is whenever family or friends question my ability to make money in my profession – yoga teaching and wellness coaching. Whenever they do question it, I am reminded that my core mission is NOT to make tons of money, but to help people feel happy and healthy. Sure, I would like to pay my rent every month, but that’s not what drives my guiding mission and decisions. I also think of women and business owners like you who follow their dreams and runs their own businesses on their own terms. You’re right – their criticism is fuel that spurs me forward to keep working hard.

    Thanks as always for the great tips and insight!

  263. Meritxell Garcia

    I am so happy Marie did not listen to that guy. None of us would be here pursuing our dreams (thanks to Marie’s leadership and example) if she had let him stop her to go for her dreams. And yes! taking the road less traveled is hard but at the same time is so fulfilling!! I think people that do not understand that there is more than one way to do things, to live life… are victims of their own ignorance and they feel threatened by those very few who are brave enough to make different choices. To me these is one of Marie’s episodes that helped me most at a personal level!

  264. Meritxell Garcia

    I am so happy Marie did not listen to that guy. None of us would be here pursuing our dreams (thanks to Marie’s leadership and example) if she had let him stop her to go for her dreams. And yes! taking the road less traveled is hard but at the same time is so fulfilling!! I think people that do not understand that there is more than one way to do things, to live life… are victims of their own ignorance and they feel threatened by those very few who are brave enough to make different choices. To me this is one of Marie’s episodes that helped me most at a personal level!

  265. Hi Marie,

    Great video and good point about using these moments to fire us up rather than knock us down. I’ve been pretty lucky about the supportive people in my life, although definitely get the “oh that’s cute” moments.

    However, recently, I was confronted with one of these moments when my husband and I had to pay a massive credit card bill and it got all my fears on board with financial worry. We’ve been thinking about where our next move will take us, and I’ve found the PERFECT house online.

    At first I started thinking “I want this so bad but how will we ever be able to afford it?” But then I turned it into fire and motivation to rock my biz and be able to save enough money to buy our dream home! I’m on my way!


  266. Diana

    wow this episode was spot on…..
    About 15 years ago certain events took place in my life that helped me make a big decision and go to college. I had small children and one small paycheck coming in. This was not an easy decision and I was on the fence for a while….what had helped the leap forward were two naysayers who shall remain nameless. They told me to stop wasting time with my fantasies and get in touch with reality..” Come on don’t you know you have to be smart to go to school and face it you’re not one of the brightest people, you should really just help your husband with what he needs”… I thought how can someone be so mean and such a @$%& to another person…well fast forward I graduated from an Ivy league college and a masters with a 3.9..I am now a successful and sought after therapist making a 6 figure salary. I continue to develop spiritually and professionally. If they did not say those things I would have still been on the fence with my decisions and very unhappy..Thank You for not believing and being negative towards me. It was a great service to many…The UNIVERSE thanks you too.

  267. I had a similar experience. I left the corporate world as a financial auditor to start a dog training, pet sitting, and dog walking business. While starting up the business, I took a job as a full-time snowboard instructor. I was told me a ^$&# trainer, that I will never teach the higher levels. For me, this was going to be a part-time gig. Today, 7 seasons later, I am still a full-time instructor however, I am now a Rocky Mountain Division fully certified level III (the highest cert) AASI instructor (less than 10% achieve this certification level – ya, it’s that difficult but if you work hard you can do it) with children specialist level 1 and 2 (highest level is 2) and freestyle level 1 and 2 (highest is level 3 but only 4 people have been able to obtain it, it’s that demanding). To put the cherry on top, I am now also the snowboarding head trainer for the mountain. I teach our VIP. I teach the highest levels we offer. I train instructors and help them improve their teaching and riding abilities so they can self improve or help them with the national exams. I am now tasked with creating the standards of 2 new levels we will soon be providing our guests. But best part is the a$$hole that told me I won’t ever get the level 2 cert let alone level 3, is now one of my subjects. This was only going to be a temp seasonal job while I get my dog business up and running. After teaching the kids (99% beginners) the first year I was hooked but his words are what drove and motivated me to prove him wrong! As i said, I’m still there 7 years later. I hire others in the winter to take care of my daily dog related business so I can still teach full time. I’m not the type you tell no you can’t do that. I was told that when I was a kid a lot. You’re too small or weak to very be in the special forces. Guess what? I was in the Israeli Elite Forces! I served in the most Elite unit there. We are world renowned and there are very few of us… I only wish someone told me I wouldn’t be able to have a successful business but I do my best to surround myself with loving supportive people that believe in me and appreciate me for who I am, not what I have. If I had a jerk telling me I can’t do my dog business, maybe by now it would have turned national! 🙂

    Thank you for sharing. Your video rejuvenated and motivated me to push my business even more by using the power of the haters throughout my life.

  268. Jessica

    Several years ago I had a friend/business associate who hadn’t seen me for a long time actually try to sabotage a business interview we were both at. She hinted that everyone knows my “story” and that they don’t want to work with me. I wasn’t sure what “story” she was referring to as I hadn’t seen her for quite a while, let alone worked with her, but that said, I didn’t book the job. She had taken care of that it seems. I was very shocked she would do this, and, yeah it stung. However, I never really believed what she said, thank god.

    Flash forward, I’m now doing a very similar job for the past year that she said I couldn’t do. I just realized that today, quietly sitting by myself, watching your video, playing catch-up because I had been busy. I don’t think I was out to prove her wrong…I think I was just following the changes in me and just being “me”. However, I do think I have to thank a certain small group of people for making me stronger, more forward thinking and more myself because they were sort of what I would affectionately, humorously, and strongly call: “poop stains” on my career. LOL…it’s good to laugh at it NOW. Yeah…now is not the past that is for sure. They were a big ‘ole skid mark on a diaper.

    But what it got me thinking about is how people resist “change”. If someone changes around them, or the world changes, or the way money flows changes, some people can get very upset and do some things they wouldn’t normally do. Change. I’m glad I changed. And I’m glad, in the end, I was told “no”. Because it taught me to only listen and go towards the “yes” people. Great video, Marie.

    • Jessica

      P.S.: But you know what the best part is…letting it go and moving on with my life. Because you can wash a dirty diaper, you can put on a new one…and feel fresh & clean, and good again! 🙂

      And, you never know, one day (in my fantasy land life) one or two of those poopy people may “change” themselves, and even admit they were mistaken…maybe apologize. Nah, probably not. Well, it could happen. “Anything is possible.” It would make the world a better place, that fo’ sure.

  269. Lately, I have been feeling so emotional about hating my job and longing to live my passion so badly its all I think about.
    So I reached out to a friend just vent. And all I got was “most people work there lives in jobs they hate just to survive”. I agree its sad, but that doesn’t mean I am willingly to settle. She also said “living in a fantasy land is worse than being mentally ill.” Basically saying I should just accept my life and that life sucks. I just don’t understand this thinking, at all and it was not what I wanted to hear when I was so emotionally unstable. My job is filled with so many negative people and the environment is not positive at all. I am so tired of hearing the term “cover your ass”. I think it is so depressing. I work extremely hard and I always try to do the right thing. I hate working in environment that treats people like this. Everyone has to fend for themselves….

    It makes me want to prove to her and everyone else who I know doubt me. I don’t think life has to suck. I think it can be grand and beautiful. We can be happy and live our dreams. I know I have to keep pushing on and keep taking little steps everyday to get to where I want to be.

    Chelsea J

    • Elle

      I agree with you Chelsea. I have to play the CYA game all the time and I’m sick of it. What I am discovering more and more is there are sharks out there that want to chew me to pieces no matter how much I want to do the right thing.

      I recently just completed a project where I came on last minute to help execute a major event that had been in the works for over a year. Having no prior knowledge of the past year of this project, I knew I would have a limited capacity and history of the project, however, I let the team leader know I was there to help in anyway possible.

      It turns out, due to the team leader’s poor planning, lack of communication and disorganization, she had no idea what she was doing or how it was going to be executed and she ended up expecting me to read her mind on what needed to be done logistically. I’m intuitive but not psychic and still need a good level of communication by whomever I work with, especially on a high level project.

      Unfortunately, due to her lack of communication and planning, and my eagerness to please, she found it easy to use me as the scapegoat to the client and other staff/contractors so it looked like I was the reason for the failures that took place. The blame-storming took aim in my direction and I started to feel alienated when all I was doing was trying to get the job done (with a smile, no less!).

      I have worked with so many people like this. These are the type of people that want to break you down, convince you that you can’t follow your passion, you’re not good enough, haven’t worked hard enough and don’t deserve your own version of success. And sadly, they have all been women who try to tear down other women… usually women in their 50’s that are threatened by an intelligent woman in her mid-30’s (like me).

      I would love to know if this is a generational thing where women in their 50’s/60’s are threatened by younger women or if it’s just a fluke and I happen to cross paths with them specifically. No matter their age or sex, it’s their insecurities that lead them to lashing out, gossiping, blaming others and not taking accountability for their own actions.

      I believe all women should support each other, lift up women younger than them, mentor them if appropriate and never tear them down, especially to others. There is such a disconnect and it saddens me because we all have dreams and passions that we deserve to pursue. I believe there is room for everyone’s dreams.

      If I were in the same role as these clearly bitter women, I would have used it as an opportunity for communication, betterment and empowerment…but I guess that’s the difference between them and me.

  270. Marie, you did it again. You’ve given my grind an extra push as I thought about two elevator moments that I initially made me doubt my ability to become a trainer and a successful self-published author.

    Looking back and remembering how my creative writing professor discouraged me from embracing the self-publishing route because according to her, “it wasn’t legitimate and I wouldn’t be considered a serious author” and a consultation that I had with a SCORE office regarding my training program to help people transform there stories which was shot down, I realized while writing my self-published books, including my latest, Get Unstuck Now that these experiences have fueled my dedication towards fully expressing all of my gifts in service to others.

    This video serves as a confirmation that people’s lack of faith in us is not a reason for us to give up on our soul’s calling. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and providing an environment where all of us can gain insight and inspiration from one another. Marie, you ROCK!

  271. sylvie

    I have to deal with shit everytime someone asks me what’s my major. When i told them I’m a English major, they tell me it ain’t gonna make money and should consider other options. And I am only in my first year of university.

  272. Hi Marie; thanks for sharing this although I couldn’t actually read what happened on the escalator. Its a quirk of using a screen reader. when i was starting out selling amusement equipment I had two of these occasions. the first person took offense to my emailing him about posting his ride listing on my site. He had listed it on an open public site along with his phone number and email. he sent me several very brutal emails and then he created a site about the net’s worst spammers just to complain about me. I haven’t googled myself lately, but that post used to come up on the first page when I did search for myself. the other one was a fellow who said that he wanted to know how or why a blind person would even want to run a business that depended so heavily on management of visual items such as photos videos and website appearance. he finished by telling me he thought i had a good idea and that he was going to start his own site and do it better. I never heard from him again. Until this post though I hadn’t even thought of either of them in years. I have been fortunate that no one has had any such criticism of my new site or my desire to be a coach and speaker. thanks for sharing, max

  273. Thank you for your so well timed advise today!

    keep the great work! we love what you do!

    Robin and Daniella from

  274. Isabel W

    Reminds me of a quote : Respond, not React to life.

  275. SR

    My BFF essentially broke up with me. A very hurtful dinner, that was mostly her telling me that I wasn’t worthy of her friendship and she needed time to “value my worth”. Yeah, 10 years of friendship. That single handledly changed (and has been changing) my value in myself, ever since. It’s been almost a year and although it still does sting, I know deep in my heart that I’m better off and it’s exactly what I needed.

  276. When I got into law school I was so excited and proud. But when people would ask me what I was up to I started hearing comments that were less than encouraging…

    “Oh, you’re going to be a legal secretary?” (from a close family friend who had known me my whole life)

    “Oh, you’re going to be a cop or something?” (from a relative-I know…what?!)

    “Oh God you’re not going to be a politician are you?!” (another relative)

    “Ugh not another one of THOSE!” (Often this one is the uncomfortable look on the face that gives it away)

    So I quit telling anyone what I was doing…TO THIS DAY…unless they specifically asked. And even then I often downplayed it, because people would get uncomfortable and squirmy.

    But not anymore! Now that I own my own business helping online entrepreneurs with the legal stuff and they LOVE it and appreciate it? I’m proudly saying what I do for the first time. It feels good and right. 🙂

  277. Jenn

    My sister was the one who recently told me I should quit running around doing photography. I’m now entering my art in a local shop! Thank you for the doubt.

  278. Valeria Suarez

    I work as an Interpreter in Los Angeles, and I take pride on my work because being an immigrant I know what it feels like to be immerse in a new country, culture, etc… But many times I’ve been told that my work its just “talking” and does not require any special skill by my own family and friends!, and they might finish with a when are you going to get a real job. Sometimes I doubt myself but that only push me to become a CERTIFIED INTERPRETER and to make a comfortable leaving while still helping people. I try not to let words like this bring me down 🙂 Yes, I talk for a career, and I also make money at it too!

  279. Unfortunatelly I have escalator moments everyday, and they come from within my family putting me down, not from a stranger in an escalator I can escape from when I reach the next level. It is so frustrating… but being here listening to you means I am not done!

  280. Ermegerd, perfect topic Marie! I had a near-retiree try to give me tips about being more predatory with sales and how cold calling is the way to go. Total D-bag moment, especially when she said, “I am interested in supporting other women entrepreneurs, and you are just headed to failure doing it this way, honey.” I have her pic on my wall and it gets me fired up every morning. I can skip breakfast! Thanks for not believing in me, and for demonstrating so vividly the type of business owner that I never never never want to be!

  281. How great was this video?! You’re right Marie, it’s what we do with it that matters because haters are everywhere. I had someone tell me I had “didn’t have what it takes” at a very vulnerable moment of my life. Even though I was constantly told by others I had that special spark, I let this drunken babbling idiot get me down. 20 year old me let it get to her. Thankfully the kick-ass part of me clicked in & I realized no one person can dictate what I can & cannot do unless I let them & I always try to keep that lesson with me. Plenty people will try & keep us down but there are plenty more out there who will help lift us up & we have to be one of them! xo

  282. I’d call that a divine meeting!

  283. Tea

    Marie, thank you for speaking about this in your video today. It’s been really nice to scroll through and see how many amazing, successful, passionate people have had terrible ‘elevator moments’ and yet continue to do what they love. I have also had my share of discouraging moments, and I used to be able to use them to push myself ahead, but the past few years of unemployment, confusion over the course of my life, and just general feelings of being lost have eroded my self esteem to the point where I haven’t been able to bounce back from the discouraging comments made by friends and family who had no intention of hurting me. Coming here and reading the comments has given me some inspiration to get back on track to finding work I love. I hope to one day be able to post here and talk about how I also bounced back and used these negative times to push me ahead. Thank you 🙂

  284. Jen

    Thank you for this video!! I think we’ve all encountered people who are less than supportive. For me it was my now ex-husband. When I told him what I wanted to do (which is to create a business inspiring and empowering women to live the lives they always dreamed for themselves) he told me to get a “real” job. He told me that I wasn’t “contributing” to the household and that I needed to get a pay cheque like every one else. Needless to say, I’ve become successful despite the naysayers. Not only do I work as lifestyle and personal brand development coach, but I also own a marketing firm and a networking company for women in business who also happen to be moms.

  285. Hi Marie!

    Loved how fired up you got about this video! I don’t know how you reacted so calmly to that guy- I can’t stand people like that!

    I get rude comments about my business goals from people ALL THE TIME. The ones that hurt the most are from my loved ones though. I told my Dad that my dream was to hold coaching & adventure retreats abroad… he said to me, “And then you woke up, right?”

    I mean, I know what he said wasn’t a huge deal, but why can’t I achieve that dream? It’s not even that crazy- I plan huge events for corporations all over the world… Why don’t people think I could plan my own? And now I’m getting fired up. 😉 Thanks for another great video, Marie!

  286. When our daughter was in middle school my husband and I were told by the Principal that because of her dyslexia and ADD that our daughter “would never amount to anything academically.”WRONG!! In short, our daughter graduated as a Phi Beta Cappa double major from UC Berkeley. My husband and I did not believe the negative prognosis and damaging”labeling” from the Principal and did not tell our daughter what had been said. But we did get her all the academic support and tutorial( no meds) she needed to be the success she wanted to be and we knew she could. In my own life I have always been a risk taker and guided by my own intuition. I have published 2 books, but before they were published several people give me judgements or “concerns” about the titles: too provocative, too depressing, not upbeat enough etc. etc. I listened as I don’t think all criticism is bad- it can also be constructive if the intention behind it isn’t to demean. But at the end of the day I went with the titles that felt right and true to me. When we are in the public arena we will always have lovers and haters. Just the way it is. Sadly, I have found that it’s often women hating against other women that is the most troubling. The most blatant comment came from a “friend” who said to me over lunch some years ago that,” she knew several women who wished I’d gain 50 pounds and that my husband would leave me.” Neither of which happened. Clearly her statement had absolutely nothing to do with me and all about her. I try not to personalize other people’s words and behavior and I’m also selective who I share my goals and dreams with. And sometimes I think our biggest critic is the one in our own head-he/she is the one we need to be better friends with.

    • LOVE your story about your daughter.

      Sometimes I think educators are in the wrong business.

      My high school counselor told me because I am dyslexic with numbers and therefore bad with math, that I should also avoid science. So I did, throughout my undergraduate career.

      Then I decide I want a career in health care. Science. What am I going to do about that?

      How about get straight A’s in advanced-level and accelerated courses?

      Stupid lady didn’t know that science and math aren’t the same discipline at all… Take that, Mrs. Corman!

  287. Lorna

    I’m trying not to feel sad, to stay positive and happy and believe that I’m good at the service I provide and I know that there is the silver lining underneath this crap, but it hurts when family and friends buy the same services from the opposition, it sucks to put on the smiley it’s okay face!

    • deb

      Your attitude could be like like, ‘You wait, One day, you all are gonna get in queue for the same’ to get them from me.
      Show them whatcha got!

  288. deb

    I have always dreamt and am working towards becoming a big big singer , and my friend goes that ‘babe, you are in dreamland’.
    All my focus right now, is to make myself go up there, and in the process prove these people who think I cant do nothing, show them that I am made of stronger material.
    Thank you marie for fuelling me up even more! 🙂

  289. Thanks for Sharing this bit Marie and what you did with it. I have had people doubt me in the past or question my ability but one happened recently. I recently started out a podcast series and had joined this group where we supported each other. I did a review for one of the member’s show and he reached out to me to thank me and said if i wanted people to interview any, he was available. Few weeks later, I schedule a time to speak with him. Mind you he wasn’t the first person i had interview. During the call, he found out I was in the early stages of the show and said “I didn’t know you were still starting out. I’ll have to decline” Click. He hangs up. I was speechless but as the premise of the show, it’s just a tiny hiccup to sets up the path to winning. This certainly gave me focus and zeal to go for it and keep pushing. Hence I continue to expect the naysayers but as Marie say everything is figure out “able”. Thats my mantra in life.

  290. Great video Marie!

    I’m always grateful to those who’ve challenged me (in)directly ….. but I tend to neglect any criticism from anyone that hasn’t walked a mile in my shoes, or hasn’t gone where I am going… on the other hand, I soak up any wisdom from those whom I consider my mentors, or role models ….


  291. Thank you so much for this video Marie! It came to me right on the perfect time. Something similar happened to me this week right after launching my first book. So, yes I know how it feels and now I just think in how important is to keep focused and willing to grow every single day, as well, as giving and doing the best we can.
    Lots of love,

  292. I get people putting me down a lot. I’m a massage therapist and health coach so doing holistic therapies is considered not a real job by many of the people I have encountered. I was at a New Year party and ended up sat next to someone who told me that people like me, offering services, were bad for the economy as we don’t manufacture products. I also get told that since I’m not a doctor I have no business in any kind of health-related modality and that I can’t possibly know anything as it’s not based on science, despite studying biological sciences at university level and having a certificate in advanced musculoskeletal anatomy! You have to know your glutes from your olecranon process (that’s your *ss from your elbow) and I’m grateful that my clients over the years have had pain symptoms improve from the techniques I know. 🙂 I’m passionate about nutrition and I would not be as well as I am today if I had listened to some of the people who seem to want others to stay stuck and cast doubt. I love what I do and continue to be motivated by the positive people e.g. other IIN health coaches in my life so that I can help support others. Thank you for your video.

  293. Jacqueline

    I just recently had an escalator moment, but the worst part it was at my own HOME! with someone I truly love. I was so hurt I could not believe what I was hearing my husband does not believe in me? even though he later apologized and said he supports me 100% it still hurts to know that he thought of my nonprofit organization to help foster youth as just a hobby really!!! I truly enjoy helping people and want to make this my career. This defiantly gave me more then fuel to want to succeed in what I believe is a great business of helping and motivating our youth.

  294. My moment has happened several times with the same two people. As a freelance writer|project manager|virtual assistant who has been growing my clientele and experience for the last two years, I am extremely proud of what I have accomplished. I’m now in the starting stages of really wanting to make my business more official (website, etc.).

    I’ve worked extremely hard to create this opportunity for myself (as I’m sure we all have!), so it’s not appreciated when these same people ask me about my “job” and then say things like, “Ohhhh. That’s nice. (Insert giggle here). That’s cute. (Insert one last giggle just to get my blood pressure way up).”

    The first time I heard it, they were not very familiar with what I do. However, after explaining it to them, they continue to throw condescending comments my way.

    I have to admit, as much as I wish I could just let it go and immediately move on, it really gets to me. However, it also inspires, fuels and motivates me to become as successful as I can possibly be!

    So, thank you, ignorant turd munchers, for not believing in me…..and thereby amping me WAY up to do even bigger, better and more helpful things!

  295. One of my favorite inspirational quotes for moments like those is “People who say it can’t be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.”

    Then as Marie says, let it be the fire in your engine for a little while until you’re ready to take a deep breath and let it go and thank the person (and the Universe) for the opportunity it gave you to get even better.

  296. Jen

    My brother in law thinks the business I am building is part of a cult. Drives me on to be successful every time I think about it (which I do, any time I feel my energy or confidence flag)

  297. Jacqueline

    Hi Marie

    I’ve had many escalator moments of comments like: “What you do is basic, it is entry level teachings. We know this stuff already it is so basic.”

    This for many years has stopped me creating and growing my business as a mentor for personal transformation as I thought there was no audience for it. Life has shown me that this is what people are looking for – many people “know” the basics (whatever that is for you) many though do not take the Action to make things happen. They still choose the same.

    My business is growing from working with clients who are looking to implement strategies into their everyday life and make changes. It is about keeping it simple and taking the action needed to create the change that you desire.

    Thank you for inspiring me to be all that I can be.


  298. Totally hear you… when I was in college I had marketing intern/assistant job at a magazine. On my office tour, I walked past the production manager’s office (a woman no less) only to hear a very loud, “why hire her, she’s too pretty to work and is probably looking for a rich husband” whine out of a cubicle.

    Well, that subjective, bitter be-arch’s words haunted me to not only work harder, longer, and more targeted but within a few months I was promoted at that magazine to be of ‘her’ equal level while still in school & left the job soon after because it wasn’t much of a challenge. Take that!

    I was determined enough to never work in a cubicle for the rest of my career- in two industries: marketing and finally my home in fashion.

    I have successfully been a bootstrapping entrepreneur and founded my web site FocusOnStyle back in 1999 where I not only believe but help women make the most of what they’ve got!

    The nasty one was a long time ago but I often think of how a jealous nay-sayer fueled my fire and stunted her own. Thanks to Lenore, I knew what not to do in business at a very early age!

    To this day, I am still amazed that woman would make such a d-bag sexist comment about another young woman.

  299. First of all, I just added ‘turd-muncher’ to my vocabulary. Ha!!

    Second, yes, I have been here – it was my last (and I mean ‘last’ the end no more husbands for me!) ex-husband who basically told me the commercial/film/television industry was not interested in a woman ‘my age’ and that if I wanted to really ‘do this acting thing’ you should just move to NYC (from FL – we are both originally from Jersey). He mentioned three more times about going to NYC – so, I moved out – stayed in FL for about a year and booked a series of Publix commercials and a network tv gig…then I happily skipped over to Los Angeles where my voiceover career is better than it’s ever been! Now, if I could have only been a fly on the wall when the Publix spot came on EVERY morning while he was faithfully watching the TODAY show!! ‘-) So yes, it’s true – something silly someone says, usually out of their own fear or insecurities, can be a real barn-burner!

    I know this episode was awhile ago, but I hold onto these until I have time to watch – glad I held on to this one! Grateful for where I’ve been!

  300. Rashida

    Amazing. This came right on time. My stepfather just told me the other day…”look at you, nothing is really happening for you in your life.”
    But, little does he know, I am working on starting an online business and natural beauty product. He doesn’t know this because I didn’t tell him as I knew he would be negative and give lack of support. His comment was actually worse. This has so motivated me to be able to tell him…”This is what’s happening in my life.”

  301. Chloe

    I run a business with my husband and someone said ‘Behind every good Man is supportive Woman’!!! How rude!……and it was said by a female friend.

    She is no longer a friend, it was about 4 years ago.

  302. OK, so a long story short, many moons ago, I was in a State titles in a high performance of the beach boat (Cherub for those Australians), yes sailing with my husband. We challenged the “guns” who were expected to win the regatta, we were told in no uncertain terms by other competitors and also parents that we were out of line and they were the best and should therefore. Seriously! Let the best competitor win on the day, away we kicked there butts and won the regatta, they shouldn’t have challenged us.

  303. I love that music video.
    One of my favorites and favorite songs as well.

  304. Sarah

    This video is so timely! Thank you! I’m struggling with this right now. It’s my mom. She is very sceptical of my husband and I both being self employed. She doesn’t understand what I do (online marketing), and we just bought a wholesale organic meat distributorship that my husband will be running. I know that her uncertainty comes from a place of concern, so I’m not upset with her. It is just that she is spreading the negativity throughout our closest contacts. We are trying to get these people on board with our vision, so I’m trying to find a way to talk to her about it. I’d love any thoughts from those of you who have gone through this. Have any of you had to deal with a “Negative Nancy” family member? How did you go about getting them on board, if possible, or at least getting them to stop spreading the negative (fear) vibes.? Thanks!

  305. Many years ago, when I was still pretty new in my business, I got a phone call from someone looking to make an appointment. I share an office with a more experienced person, but many people are content to see either one of us. Now, anyway. This was much earlier… This woman said to me ” I would NEVER come to see YOU because YOU don’t know anything. Aren’t you right out of school?”

    I was stunned speechless. Unfortunately, it did affect me negatively for a long time. Fortunately I came across someone who taught nonviolent communication (NVC, as taught by Marshall Rosenberg, for those who may be familiar), and worked on “transforming the enemy image.”

    First, on paper, I gave that lady a piece of my mind. Really let her have it.

    Then, I tried to guess what she may have been feeling or needing when she made that comment, and tried to view her with compassion.

    IT WAS HARD! But it was worth it. And THEN I got fired up and really applied myself to be someone people would flock to see.

    Have I seen her since? I don’t know. When I let it go, I really let it go, and I can’t remember who she was. In a way, I hope I have seen her, and I hope she was really blown away.

  306. Lori Anne

    So – I recently went through a “kick in the teeth” escalator moment at work. It was more like a week and it was the longest five days of my life (or so it seemed then). In the moment – it was all of could do to remain composed, professional and not share choice words with colleagues that were depositing blame on me for an end outcome that I did not fully control or have explicit accountability for. You know what they say – the sticky stuff rolls down hill and after this event – it was clear who was at the bottom on the incline. My natural inclination is always to look for the gift – even in the most challenging situations. I gotta admit – it took me a while to identify the gift in this experience as I felt thrown under the bus and kicked to the preverbal curb for something I didn’t do .. but paying the consequences for both with respect to my professional capital and credibility with respect to one of my core competencies – writing. After much consternation – and self wallowing – I pulled myself out of the rabbit hole and gave myself a shake. This was not about me and I was taking it way too personally. I had done everything I could have done given the environment, direction and feedback – and probably would not have been able to change the train wreck of an outcome – even with 20/20 hindsight. What hit me hardest was that the core competency I was so proud of and felt defined me as a professional took a really big ego hit. The gift in this – which was a hard one to swallow – was a gut punching reflection – was I being to cavalier with my talents and contribution – was I taking it for granted that what I could produce in a few hours was enough – or being honest – was it really my best work. The answer was no… I had been on cruise control for the last few months – and although the product I produced met all the established bench marks – I didn’t push through the “lazy” gate for myself or insist that my team or boss do the same to make the product really stellar. So – the gift in this whole situation for me is to recalibrate my inner competency compass – I knew I could do better – I had it in me – I just wasn’t willing to release it. The other part of the gift is realizing how hard this experience impacted myself of self and that it was an opportunity for a life balance sanity check – although I like my job well enough and there are aspects that I do really enjoy – it is not my passion, nor dream job – it keeps the lights on and my kids fed and on the ice – which are priorities in our house right now. What it drove me to do was carve out time for what does get me jazzed – creating, connecting and collecting special moments with family and friends. I forgot that this is my story to design, tell and roll with … That ah-ha moment humbles, grounds and centers me – and hopefully – when it happens again – which I know it will – as the organization I am in right now is in the middle of tremendous change – I’ll be able to let it roll with it a little better – given this insight that when/if it occurs – it is not personal and doesn’t define me as a person. Only I can do that.

  307. WOW!!! I just love this post and all the comments. It’s great to see how we can step up and find the gift in all this to move us forward GO US!!! Reading all your comments reminded me of an excruciating elevator moment about fifteen years ago when I had just joined a very big networking organisation.

    Now, you need to know that there were only 3 women in this whole networking group but I felt comfortable and had developed a good networking relationship with all the other members and that really helped what happened next.

    A few weeks after I joined we had an Open Meeting where we could invite visitors (potential new members) and the whole place was heaving with men exchanging business cards and bonding, when one of the visitors stopped me and asked me to get him a coffee!!!!!

    I was so shocked that I just stood there in amazement while he carried on chatting to his new friends. I couldn’t believe what had just happened – how could he have thought I was a waitress – I had my name badge on and everything lol.

    When I got up the courage to speak and tell him I was one of the members of the group, he laughed and made a comment about women setting up in business to make pin money and should they really let us into serious networking groups like this.

    I guess looking back I should have complained and they should have kicked him out there and then, but I just slopped away and kept the peace. He was a visitor after all and had he wanted to join the group, I would have the chance to speak up.

    But that incident really had an effect on me and made me look at how I was perceived not only in business but in my networking group.

    Over the next six months I upped my game and demonstrated that I was serious about my business and about being part of the team. I not only won Networker of the Month but was invited to become the first female director of the network in my city. The whole group had voted me in. I was delighted and celebrated by holding my first Open Meeting. Guess who turned up?

    I was the model of the gracious host and when I invited him to stand and take his turn promoting his business to the group, he proceeded to tell a homophobic joke. I stayed very calm and (as was my duty as director) firmly but politely explained that he wasn’t what we were looking for in a member and asked him to leave.

    He just laughed and said “Listen darling! If you get upset at every little joke you’re not going to go far in this game and anyway who told you you could talk to me like that?”

    To which the whole of my networking group chorused: “We did!”

    He said nothing more and left very quietly. I didn’t gloat. I didn’t comment. I just calmly brought the meeting back to order and moved on in a manner befitting my new position.

  308. Coach Joelle

    Hey sunshine! That was AWESOME!!!!! I think my favorite part was “turd-muncher”. Very nice. Thank you for the authentic share – really beautifully done – I can totally imagine that speechless moment – like a total assault on the system. Way to use it as fuel for the fire so we could all be touched by your gifts. Hugs!

  309. Mariluz

    One of my elevator moments was when my first husband told me I couldn’t write. I love writing especially fiction. I can write. I have some stories posted on-line and not on any of my sites. I have a few short stories published in print format and was paid for them. I’ve written two novels — not published yet but will get there. It’s an awful feeling when someone that you are sharing your life with tells you – you suck at what you love to do. I appreciate all the stories posted above mine and how brave you all are for sharing. Peace and may strength always find you in all that you do. ML

  310. Hey Marie,
    My first time on your site was yesterday. I saw this blog and knew that this was meant for me (along with others, but it hit me to the core)! My HUSBAND(!!!!!) said “You have no ability to heal anyone and you are completely wacky!” This was a punch in my soul. What’s funny, is that he’s right – LOL! I don’t do the healing, I’m a conduit for providing soul level shifts to help heal people, places and things. Other entities do the healing through me. I’m an energy source. I move my ego aside and allow my psychic connections to work for all things that I”m working with (people, animals, businesses). I’m a Certified Angelic Shamanism Practitioner® and Spirit Awakening’s Angelic Guidance Counselor®. The problem that I face when I think of this moment is how much it hurts to have someone who’ve I’ve been with for so long (21 years, 3 kids, 2 dogs, a cat) that really doesn’t believe in what I call “my gift to the shift”. After he said this, all gloves were off. I realized that I don’t need his approval. I’m standing in my own power and looking to launch my own business online after working with people one-to-one. Thank you for bringing a smile on my face Marie. You helped me remember to lighten up and thank my husband for not believing in me. It’s the strength I need to put myself out there and share for the greater good of all! Aho and Amen!

  311. I had my own moment a few weeks ago.

    I recently started seeing someone who I really like and I was meeting his family. His dad has had a number of successful buisinesses in the past. He would build one up then sell it then move on to the next and the next. He seems similar to my go-get-’em partner which is something I appreciate in my partner as I do in myself. His mother however, is a stay-at-home type who never bought money into the household but made sure she spent more than her fair share. I don’t have any problems with homemakers but do expect others’ to show that same respect of “it’s not for me but if it makes you happy go for it!” well…

    His mother was asking me what I was doing with myself. I told her about how I was finishing my degree and building my online buisiness which happened to be a travel website, one set up to inspire others to follow their dreams and travel. I told her about how I planned to go to South America and about the website and how it would hopefully fund my travels in the short term but how I was really passionate about writing and inspiring people and how I’d like to do this long term as well.

    His mother then spent the remainder of the night pointing out how I “wasn’t really doing anything with my life.” as if travel and owning my own buisiness was ‘nothing’ and one would assume sitting at home for your entire marriage was ‘doing something’.

    I’m not yet at the ‘it was a good thing’ point but will be soon and I really did appreciate your sharing this with everyone so we can get some perspective of what it will feel like later.

    I love your work, whatever it takes to motivate you is worth it I say!

    • They actually have to go out to see how big the world is out there. I am a homebuddy and extremely introverted, but I love to travel. I understand it must have been an awkward conversation.

      Go for your passion girl. Passion drives us forward.

      • Hi Cherrey!

        I’m surprised you found my comment amongst all of Marie’s fans and thank you so much for your response!

        I agree with you that she needs to get out more. That may just be half the problem.

  312. Yes, I have had many people cross my path in life the last 4 years of being a woman business owner and every experience is an opportunity to lay another stone, another brick to build my empire. To CRUSH my goals. I take a moment to deal with the emotions (because yes, people can be hurtful and just down right piss you off!) but you can’t dwell on those moments or emotions. Bless and release them to mover yourself forward, BIGGER AND BETTER! xoxoxo

    • The release of those bad vibes just make the road ahead as clear as it can ever be.

  313. Thank you so much for this great post! I’ve just discovered your website and I loved this blog feature as it really struck a chord with me. I have come up against similar people and their comments since starting my own blog and doing freelance marketing and I could not agree more that you should use any negative or discouraging comments as fuel for your motivation – it really works for driving you forward!

  314. Hi Marie,
    Besides receiving emails from loved ones, your videos are what I get most excited about in my inbox. This video truly resonates with me. I knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur since high school. After much investigation, at 20 years old, I decided to choose Massage Therapy as my career. I will never forget the day my father said “You will NEVER be a good Massage Therapist, and you will NEVER make any money, you need to be in sales.” My stubbornness, and trust in myself led me as fast as I could to the nearest Massage Therapy School. I have been a successful, self employed Licensed Massage Therapist for 19 years, and now I am even my own landlord. It continues to be my passion to help people relax, reduce stress, and feel good in their bodies. Years later, my Dad apologized for his fear of my chosen profession, and told me he was proud of me. I told him that I had used his negativity to fuel my ambition, and that I did go into sales… As an entrepreneur I have to sale my bodywork skills so that clients will continue to receive from me on a monthly basis.
    Shawna, LMT

  315. Estée Paquin

    Gurl lemme tell you!.. my ‘escalator moment’ kicked my ass last week and I am so grateful to have a new perspective this morning… you see the past 4 years have been most challenging for me both personally and professionally. The process of re – membering who I am has blessed me with a strength and joy I did not know before. I am determined to find my soap box and microphone way to share it with the world.
    I have researched and grown an impressive list of continuing ed (how I found you) to feed the dream. I have a pile of debt but I’m making dollahs out of cents saving what I can and studying prerequisites….
    When I shared this news with my boyfriend he gave a nod with no eye contact. He made the comment that those in need of my services ‘sound dumb’… when we met 2yrs ago he seemed attracted to my passion and drive. I was confused. I was angry at myself for telling him and even more angry that I didn’t have a successful client base 2yrs ago. I feel sad.. instead of encouragement I got a negative. I considered he might be right. It really charged me. I doubted all of my process my plan and my dream. Thank you so much for sharing your view! Watching this video got me back on track.

  316. Mina Merry

    Dear Marie

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience! My “kick in the guts”-situation was like that:
    I’m a restorator for architecture and furnishing and I just finished my studies in February. To get the diploma I had to make a Master Thesis, which means in this case to spend a full year working on a conservation, restoration or research project. For my Master Thesis I examined a historic wine cellar with humidity problems, salt crystallizations and wood destroying fungi. I made analyses in the laboratory, generated a risk assessment to illustrate the problems and the consequences and most of all, created a conservation strategy for this important building. Now… just at the beginning of my work, I attended a congress of monument conservators. There was this architect, I just knew, he was going to work with the same object. I started talking with him and shared my concept and my ideas. He just looked at me through his dark sunglasses and asked “Why would you do that? Does that make any sense at all? Are you a building physics student? ” – “No, I’m a restorator. I want to draw all the results together and make a strategy to maintain the worth of the building.” – “Isn’t this just useless? Who needs this? What useful things can you offer?”

    I was completely shorttaken. All of a sudden, I believed that there really is no worth in my work and job. I even BELIEVED this guy! But after a while, something in me said “No, i know I’m good at what I do and I know there is much sense in my concept!” Luckily there was also another restorater at the congress; she helped me very much. This guy – whom I never did see again! – forced me to focus and through that, I wrote a letter to every important person involved in the project – I explained my goals, my way to achieve them and I also said, what I WOULDN’T DO.

    After a long year of hard work, great collaboration and a lot of brain squeezers and heart blood I finished my Master Thesis with almost the best grade one can get at my school 🙂
    Because I was put down and forced to reflect and focus.

    Greetings from Switzerland


  317. I’ve always wanted to create. My passions are movies, tv and art and I love to combine the three. When I was 10 years old I got a school assignment to make a fish. We were having a contest. I didn’t win but I was so proud of my fish, and when I got it home my mom hung it up in the bathroom. A few days later my grandmother came for a visit. I was so excited for what she was going to say about my fish. I hadn’t told her about it because I wanted her honest opinion. I sure got it! When she saw it she asked my mom when she would take down that ugly fish. My heart sank and I told her that I made it. The answer I got? I know. I’ll never forget those words, and I’m still not over it. It took me a long time to find the confidence to show others my art. To this day I work relentlessly day and night until I’m happy with the work I’ve done and I think it’s good enough to share. So I guess I can thank her for my perfectionism. I’ve worked so hard to get over this but the one thing that made me believe in my art again was when recently people in Hollywood started noticing my work. I’m only mad at myself for letting her words get to me.

  318. My escalator moments happens at least once a week, as I encounter other therapists/counselors in private practice. As soon as I say that I provide therapeutic services to people who have experienced complex trauma, such as dating violence or sex trafficking, the response is usually an awkward moment of silent, followed by “Wow! That sounds like some intense work. I am not sure that I could work with that population. I prefer to work with people who are not in crisis.” Now the reason that this statement bothers me is because it infers that crisis intervention is not appropriate in a private practice context. To a certain extent I would agree; however, I seriously hate when people rain on my parade. I am trying to do something different. Note: I could always find a job at a local mental health agency and provide these same services; however, there would be a limited number of sessions (8-12), and diagnosis would be required to get paid. This does not sit well with me, so I prefer to offer quality services with no restrictions at an affordable price through my practice, and that is exactly what I intend to do. When I hear these statements, it only fuels me to become more clear about who is my ideal population, tap into what they are thinking/feeling, and identify partnership agencies. I have come to learn that it is not about competing with others. Rather, collaborating is key. One person may plant the seed, another may water it, while another person may help maintain it. My intention is to figure out which role I should be assuming, so that I help more people. A tangential action item is to generate a list of local agencies who has my ideal population, and set-up a one-on-one to discuss how we might work together, Thanks for allowing me to vent. I always watch these videos, and choose to not respond in the comment section. Today, I feel like something shifted, as evidence by me writing this. #superproudofmyself

  319. Kitty

    I was starting off doing music and had a night out with a friend, I’d ended up talking to a mutual friend about collaborating that night when suddenly she turned. Literally, facial expressions and everything into this hard faced creature accusing me of ‘being secretive’ about this project and then here’s the punch line! “And who want’s to listen to THAT” when she asked me what it was about. Wow! So blown away, needless to say I left her there and walked out after grovelling and trying to justify to her how ‘small’ a project it was (?!). But it taught me an invaluable lesson that I needed to toughen up, that I’d be ignoring little feelers about who my friends were, and I realised as soon as you start out on a new path in which you are neither treading on toes or bragging, just working away, you can feel a PALPABLE shift in friendships.

    This is the big lesson, I went through heart ache with a few of them, suddenly I was getting the cool shoulder all just doing a few gigs. So yeah, toughening up, standing proud and not giving in to being made to feel guilty. That solidified that I was on the right path, because nobody should ever make you feel guilty for tinkering away on projects. Needless to say other friends were as enthusiastic as I am when it comes to what they do.

    Thank you for this post, going to read through the comments fully with a cup of tea 🙂

  320. I worked for a corporation a few years ago and had a boss that was new and decided he was not fond of me. If I brought information to a meeting, 80% of the time, he would find something wrong with it. He brought me into his office and told me that I was hard to get along with and a bunch of other things that were not true. I initially was beaten down and was trying to be what he wanted me to be because I knew otherwise I would be fired. But there was a point where I just got so so mad at him and myself for believing that he knew me better than I knew myself. I no longer work for the company and have started my own coaching and teaching business. It is early stages but am so happy to be going down this path. I thank him for making it impossible for me to change into what he wanted me to be because I had been playing small for years, and he gave me the opportunity to follow my passion!

    • These kind of people, like that boss of yours, gave people like us an opportunity to be better people than they are. Congratulations!

  321. When you have crazy awesome ideas, people tend to draw frown upon us. Or they could be just as rude as that a-hole of a guy. Oh, those people must be there for a purpose! They just fire us right up. That’s switching the right button if we’d think of it that way.

    There’s so many instances in my life when skeptics actually drive me to the places I never really thought would be places I’d love to be.

    Nasty as it may sound, proving these people wrong is the best reward ever.

  322. Heather

    For 18 years, there was always that something that told me I was in the wrong profession but I just choose to ignore it. Well, then I worked for the boss from hades. No really, her nickname was the dragon lady. Between the exploding phone messages, texts, degrading emails and treating me like garbage in person, even in front of others, I quit and I just didn’t quit A job, I quit THE job- the apex of my career, the big one, the YOU FINALLY Made it one. I resigned. No parachute, no really big plans, I just knew I could not take one more minute. 4 months out and I have a path laid ahead of me. So Thank You Dragon lady for making me realize my value and go after my TRUE passion in life. 🙂

  323. Love it! Marie, I was heading over to youtube to find the video Gabrielle Bernstein did on critics and Spirit just took care of it for me, and put you on my youtube page home page. I am a “B-Schooler” and I’m a Psychic Medium with a beautiful business. Today I received a survey response or one of my classes and it was just plain Mean. Can’t say it any other way. I read through it and although part of me was truly annoyed at being told I needed to seek Professional help and I would be nothing but a two bit player…I also was able to recognize the stuff in there that was helpful. I, like you, find it to be my fuel to be even more successful. I knew that Spirit was bringing this to me today so that I can learn how not to let people like this affect me and push me down the rabbit hole. Instead I stand taller and thank them for letting me be “Me!” Thank you for this post. I was actually going to do one for my audience of healers. xo

  324. KJ

    I had this happen to me a couple of minutes ago. And it made me so mad! A sibling of mine (and you all know how much it hurts when the people you love the most don’t believe in you) made fun of how a friend and I will be parted for good after we no longer take the same courses in university. It was so hurtful, he was like “oh did you call her and say goodbye? I hope you guys shared your final words because you will no longer be friends. You didn’t remain friends with anyone else of your previous friends after you parted ways. The same thing will happen here.” This hurt my feelings so much I wanted to cry. You see, I have never in my life had as good of a friend as hers. We clicked instantly when we first met about a year ago and have been so close and so happy together ever since. I’ve never had anyone be that close to me before. And I am a strong believer that we will remain friends after this and so is she. So when he said that, it hurt me alot. I tried to explain to him how it actually was different with my previous friends because we weren’t even close during school hours and rarely met after school. With this friend, we’re close all the time. But he just kept making fun of it all and insisted on how I was wrong. It was so mean of him. How can anyone be so cynical about friendships? I wanted to toss him out of my window but…of course, I couldn’t 😛 Now I’m trying hard to repress what I just heard, reminding myself that if you believe something, you can achieve it. And I stumbled across your video too of course, and now i feel so much better. His attitude about this fuelled me to meet her even more often now!

  325. I’m totally the same way as you, Marie. Being told I can’t do something just makes me fired up to prove the naysayers wrong! Just had a similar thing happen last year, and I accomplished everything I set out to, despite being told I couldn’t. I’ll leave out the details to protect those involved, but let’s just say that I was so fueled up after my naysayer encounter (or shall I call them a “terd muncher”? Haha) that I stormed out of the building and walked right into not one – but TWO – perfect solutions to the problem. That’s right – the VERY SAME DAY I crossed paths with two people I could add to my team to make it all possible…people I knew but hadn’t considered before until that firey moment. S

  326. Cardell Jackson

    Last year I had a bad breakup with my girlfriend of 8 years, to run off with her dark knight (without telling me), as I’m planning our engagement. When I finally spoke to her 3 months later and asked her about her extracurricular activities. She said “I’m not answering any questions about any other guys! Oh and good luck with your “little” business. Long story short, let’s just say I’m plenty motivated to put my success on display over the next few years. It super motivated me to get laser focused and more disciplined in business. Thanks Marie, I love this episode.

    – Cardell Jackson

  327. After a 10 hour day of non-stop phone calls, setting up a casting call and filming auditions while being the snack lady, office manager and maid to all, my boss asked me to bring him something from the front office. Mind you he was 10 feet away and I had 3 people waiting on hold. I told him I couldn’t do that at the moment, but would when the phone stopped ringing. He then wrote me an email telling me to come into his office. So I finished my tasks and hurriedly walked down the hallway into his room. His booming voice yelled at me as he scolded me in front of a co-worker. “I admire your gumption J, but if you even dare to say no to me again, you will be fired! NEVER SAY NO TO ME AGAIN!” The yelling went on until I was completely deflated in spirit. I walked out with a smile and a head nod and walked to the bathroom where I cried in heaping sobs. I quit a week later.

  328. My spouse of 18 years recently told me that I don’t have the personality for my online fitness business (Beachbody Coach), and she’s totally uninterested in it. She loves her 80 hour a week marketing job where she’s very successful and makes twice what I do in my day job (I do like my day job with it’s underwhelming pay, but great retirement & it seems like a dream job, but, I’m still working for someone else & I want to be free before my fast approaching senior discount. 10 years in and 10 to go, I feel like I’m doing time). She has alway’s been very supportive of my present career, but it’s hard to press on with that kind of discouragement so close.

  329. Sandra Uncommon Veterinarian

    Four years ago I started a master’s degree in animal health and science with a project I created (usually you get an advisor that has a fully funded project and needs students to do the project, so you just do your advisor’s work) I envisioned this project for years and thought it was a very interesting topic and something that had been poorly investigated in Mexico. I asked for several grants and got rejected so I funded my project with my savings and loans, had zero help and interest from my advisor and he even said shit to me and minimized the importance of my research saying it wouldn’t work out or turn out as something important. I was so physically and mentally exhausted, broke and depressed after my final semester I just couldn’t get myself to open the computer and start writing my actual thesis. I slowly started working on my thesis and received a warning from my school, I had a deadline to graduate otherwise I would be expelled from the program, so I put my whole life and work on hold to finish my thesis for almost a year, moved back to my parents house, got severely depressed again and after sending the final draft for review with my advisors I had to make so many changes and re-do statistical analysis I was ready to drop everything and forget about getting my degree. I had an amazing co-advisor (kick ass veterinarian-researcher) that supported and believed in me and my project from day 1 who gave me the advice and help I needed. I found strength in my friends, family and everyone who supported me and cheered me up when I wanted to quit and what kept me going was the thought that I just couldn’t let all the time, effort, money, sweat, blood and tears I invested in my project go to hell. Fast forward to january 30th: I defended my thesis, got nothing but nice comments even from my advisor saying what a great project I had done, I have presented my project in several international conferences with great comments from colleagues and researchers I admire and got a thesis full of references supporting over and over all the assumptions I had 4 years ago when I created and developed my project, it felt like giving birth!!! All I could think of after this is thank you to everyone who said I couldn’t do it, thank you to my asshole advisor for not helping me and supporting me so I had to figure out by myself how to do research and how to write a thesis and this is MY BABY, MY PROJECT and I can take all the credit when I start publishing my work because it was my idea and I made it happen, and I can thank so many wonderful people I met along the way and found help and support even outside of my own country. It was all worth it!!

    Besos from Mexico
    Sandra 🙂

  330. This is such a great topic! Some wonderful stories unfolding over here!
    I also had my portion.

    My field is interior architecture and the adventure involves a very angry hospital manager and a very silent and shocked me being showered by his fury:).

    At the request of a flooring supplier who was in charge of renovating some areas in a hospital here in Romania, I stepped in with a few design proposals ( cost free) in order to make the rooms a bit more friendly and less scary for the patients.
    That didn’t go well at all. Once I had some drawings put together and went it to talk them over with the manager, he “welcomed me” with an extra large portion of anger, screaming that he has never seen anything more stupid in his entire life.
    Next thing I remember is the sketch book making its way into the garbage bin right in front of my astonished eyes.
    After a few minutes, he finally calmed down and told me that two of his doctors resigned which was one of the reasons of his anger management.
    However, that didn’t delete the seen of my drawings been thrown into the garbage bin from my mind and I must admit, it was one of the harshest moments from my 9 year career and probably not the last one.

    The bottom line is this, I did not let that discourage me, on the contrary, it made me dare more, pursuing what I love and doing my best to be of service.

    We should not let anyone enter and shatter our sacred space of dreams.

    Bea xo

  331. Winter 2013-14 my husband was due to deploy to Afghanistan so I decided to do something to keep myself occupied. Chasing down a real dream, I made the tough decision to leave my job, my home, my family and friends and move to France to live in the Alps for the ski season. As a chiropractor and passionate health nerd I could never step too far away from my purpose, so I decided to set up a mobile chiropractic business, serving holiday-goers and residents. My escalator moment came from my Dad, who bizarrely is normally the one to tell me “the world is my lobster”. This time however, he told me he was “sure i’d have a great time but if the business broke even, he’d be surprised”. Sooo upset initially but boy did that give me even more of a boot up the backside to make it work. 3 months in and I smashed through my goals for the season and things just continued onwards and upwards. Dad was exceptionally proud which meant a lot, but more importantly I was proud of myself. The hard work, endless paperwork, language studies and new business nuances were worth it, all boosted along by remembering my Dad’s word. Thanks Dad!

  332. Marie, thank you so much for this video! It made me suuuuper duper happy. I have two elevator moments that come to mind.
    Firstly, not long after I got pregnant with my two year old boy, I started telling people about my plans to have a home birth with a midwife. Two people told me I was “too small” to have a baby naturally and only a few people supported me on this journey. In the end, I had the most beautiful, intimate birth in the comfort of my own bedroom with no issues whatsoever because I did not listen to those people. I knew my own strength and I totally believe in myself!
    This next one was very very recent. My husband and I are going through a divorce and we were discussing fair amounts for child support. After we agreed on an amount, I told him if I ever started making more money that him (because I believe in myself and my business), we could go back to court to lower the child support. His response: “huh, good luck” followed by “challenge accepted.” Oh man, this has lit a fire in me!! I’m ready to take on the world!

  333. Kasandra Manering

    I had just completed my first semester of Ayurvedic classes at a local college and got back my class feedback forms. Most were constructive and respectful but one of them was cruel, scathing and completely untrue to boot. It had taken so much courage to approach the college and to stand in front of a class for the first time that I felt completely crushed.
    Then I took a deep breath, went home, pored through my notes, re-checked all my facts and made the course even better and more thorough. I re-affirmed my commitment to provide the very best education for my students – so I was grateful for the negative feedback, it really fuelled my fire!

  334. Suz

    ! have had many people tell me that maybe nursing isnt right for me. Even though I failed my first NCLEX test 3 years ago, I am still determined to get my LVN license!

  335. I just had one of these moments! My oldest, dearest, lovely friend and I were commiserating about our current jobs. I had said “How is it we both have such boring jobs?” her answer killed me. She said, “Bad economy, real life, homes, family, whatever. Cool jobs only exist in the movies.” This pissed me off. Where was my super supportive albeit blunt friend? Where was the girl that used to write music for fun? What happened to her? I did not ask any of these question. Every person is on their own journey. I did however reply with “Fuck that. I am meant for more than a boring job and I will be doing what I love in the near future” and with that, I looked into setting up an etsy store for my baked goods, one of my favorite things and biggest talents, and then purchased a book about starting a home bakery, for the fantasy of doing speciality cakes. By the way, I’ve been baking since I was a child and have been “hired” via word of mouth for the last 5 years for a umber of occasions. I’ve just been sitting around dreaming it instead of doing it. I have to say that statement from one of my most talented and creative friend lit a fire under my ass and watching videos like this and the b-school videos has just made it bigger. Not only am I attacking my baking dream, I’m also attacking my writing dreams.
    I’m also having a constant dance party to Uptown Funk; “Don’t believe me, just watch”

    • Jane Cavanagh

      Hehe Erika, “don’t believe me, just watch”. Love it!

  336. The most memorable naysaying experience I had was actually seeing the affect it had on a friend of mine – literally watching the joy drain out of her as she believed the words that hit her. I swooped in to fix that but it got me so fired up that I also created a video about how to deal with those sorts of people.


  337. Jennifer

    Ugh. I am not that type of person. Negative motivation does not work on me! I work well with positive and encouraging motivation.

    But I did really like how in the comments someone said ‘they don’t believe in you because you succeeding goes beyond their own personal beliefs about how the world works…’ That’s helpful.

  338. I’m totally onboard with you, Marie! When people like that escalator dude gets on my nerves, it just fuels a fire in me to work harder to go after my dreams. I don’t know if this happens to you or anyone on your team, but it seems like the ones who doubt the most are actually extended family members. Sometimes, I feel like Jesus in the Bible. He’s a great example as are you, Marie! While Jesus’ entire family turned against him, his passion was only fueled to continue doing what he felt was his ultimate calling. Sometimes, I think folks don’t believe in us because they really don’t believe in themselves. They peeve us, but it only makes us grow stronger and better. Thanks for an inspiring morning, Marie! XOXO

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s a really good point, Abby! It’s very possible they don’t believe in themselves. When I hear stories like the one in this episode I can’t help but think that the only reason someone would do such a thing is because they don’t believe in themselves and are therefore threatened by another’s success.

  339. Ana Patino

    I resigned to my corporate job one month ago, with the only goal of starting my own online business. Even though most of my close friends and family supported my initiative, some of them started soon sending me job postings that they thought I was a good fit for. After thanking them and explaining once again about my new project, I keep getting comments like “are you really sure you want to start walking that path?”, “are you sure you are not open to give another chance to a good and stable corporate job?”.
    Those are not aggressive comments -as Marie’s escalator moment- and have always come from close people, but behind them there is the same doubtful feeling about what one can accomplish with a good business model developed as independent professional. I cannot wait to prove them wrong!

  340. Hi Marie!

    That was a very inspiring episode and I totally love your reaction to that a-hole words!

    I had a few moments like that in my life – the first one when I’ve decided to dump my “elite” studies that were boring and look for a satisfying, although less prestigious job.

    The second time was after very serious perturbances in my personal life. I told my friend that I want to move to a different city and heard “you’re always just talking” – two months later I lived somewhere else.

    Now I’m again in that moment of life – I finally found my niche as I love working with food and enjoy writing and photography. I want to make my living out of that and just recently heard that “good luck” with a huge dose of irony. I’m gonna make it work!

  341. Oh I remember when I was 25, working in my little French hometown luxury resort, alongside people who were employed there for at least the last 8 years. I started saying that I’d love to work for the same hotel chain but abroad, because I felt a big attraction to travel and seeing more than the place where I grew up. I heard a few times that like everyone else, I could have dreams, but I’d end up in the same place all my life. Oh I did not agree to that! I left to a nice big hotel from the same chain in London, stayed there one year, then went on to an even better venue, then achieved my dream of becoming a designer, then launched my own little studio. Voila. Come tell me again that I have my right to dream? 🙂

  342. Jane Cavanagh

    Great vid! Thanks!
    My favourite phrase of late is “People will stare – make it worth their while” 🙂

  343. Your video totally speaks to me!
    For me, it’s some of my family members (well almost all of them i have to say) who doesn’t believe in my work and everytime i heard thei harsh words, i’m thinking: “well, we talk about that some years later and then a day will come where i could yell to them: I DID ITTTTT”!

  344. Omg this happens everywhere in the world????..
    I had a call with a person and he wanted me to showcase someof my products from my site in his shop.. he was a little like “see I am a busy guy coz i run a shop so you have to do all the shipping and stuff and it will be easier for you coz it just a hoby of urs right””.. and I was in total shock that does it looks like a hobby to you?
    He answered that yes definitely coz you are a woman and this all isnt gonna pay off.. one day u will have to leave working and start making babies???????
    That encounter still makes me mad laughing at that you marie?

  345. T

    Hello Marie! First of all I want to say what a pleasure it has been watching your videos. 🙂 that have been inspiring and just what I need to hear and see. I do have an elevator moment. However, I would like to share this for understanding. Marie I admire your strength. I wish I had more people like you in my circles.
    I come from a very competitive family. Because of their constant need to compete and to “critize and judge” it is almost intolerable to be around them. I used to be optimistic and believe that they would come around. But sadly it has not happened yet. They are not truly happy people and therefore are not happy around others that are happy. I have tried to accept them this way but my desire to be around them is deep. I love them even though I do not believe it is terribly healthily for my growth.
    I have tried including them in my life but it is nearly impossible there is always some conflict. I suffer from insecurities. Who hasn’t right?? Lol but currently I have been on a spiritual healing quest to improve myself worth. I am a non conformist and this irratates them to say the lest. I am a creative and in trying to discover my deepest passion allowed me to go to and graduate from art school where I discovered I truly wanted to go into modeling. I was successful locally and platode. I reach the point of where my self esteem would take me and fell into a rut! Soon I got my self together and went at it again creating what I thought was a great portfolio. (I was proud) shortly after I received an impressive phone email from a very well known agent to evaluate me and my new portfolio. I asked my mother to come along for the meeting. I was 23 at the time. I went in side of the office and has the meeting with this lady that was head of the office. I sat most of the time for there were 3 other models before me. When it was my turn she spoke to me kindly at first but when she saw that I was proud of my work she quickly put me down and ridiculed it. (Basically it didn’t meet her standards) however this was the same portofolio she saw on line and invited me to her office for. (Weird) but I didn’t take it personally at first. I took her cristisim and continued to remain gracious. She then asked if my mother wanted to come in and join me in our conversation. I was so happy! Mommy! A sense of comfort came over me. I thought thank God my mom is coming in. If I needed it she would defend me against this woman. So my mother came in. The woman greeted her and she sat down. She then opens my portfolio book and addresses it to my mom. At that point the lady went in to tell my mom that my portfolio pictures looked like they were a MAN! OMG I thought. What did she say? I look like a man?! Why did she wait for my mother to come in and say this? I was so hurt and confused. On top of that, I thought my mom was going to say something but nothing was said. In fact she agreed that I indeed looked like a man. I was heart broken and began to cry. And when she thought she had broken me that is when she said oh wait but I can help u make it better. If I listened solely to her and got rid of all of my pictures, everyone of them. She never helped me after that day, and to top it off my mom befriended her on Facebook the following day!
    WOW! What an escalator ride.
    Anyways, I did give up on modeling after that. Until one day I was stopped by a photographer in NY turned out to work for Italan Vogue! Wow what an experience that was. Something came back alive in me when I found out that my picture was published in Italan vogue.
    However, that was 2 in a half years ago. You would think that would boost my confidence. And it did for a little while but I still am so hurt by what happened. This dance between my mother and I have been going on my entire life and I am just tired. I want to pursue fashion and beauty modeling career but the insecurities and self doubt I allowed my mom to place in me is still very much real. I want to let it go and have a successful life but it is so hard.
    I am now 28 with a beautiful baby boy and a husband. But I still feel inadiquite and sad at times. I want to forgive and truly let these feeling go. Can you help? I know it is in me. But my moms hate towards me and then my family and their crappy additudes really have done damage to my spirit and sole. I see that I am slowly getting better and healing but I just want it to be over. I don’t want to hurt any more. Marie, you and these awesome woman on here are so amazing. And positive I wanted to share my story. Maybe you all can help give me some encouragement and insight.
    I want to show the ones I love compassion, love, kindness ect.. They don’t understand it. And I fear the only way to feel better is to leave them completely. Can u please help me?
    T ❤️

  346. Janene

    I had an elevator moment. I was in a public speaking contest. On the first night were the first round contest to determine who speak at the European final the next day in front of 400 people. We were in two groups and the top 3 from each group would go on. After the first round I was one of them and I was taking the lift up to my hotel room to grab my stuff before meeting colleagues for dinner. One of the other contestants from my first round group (who was also going to the final) and a friend of his were in the lift as well. We chatted a bit. Then elevator dinged for my floor and he asked “Can I give you some advice?”. I said “Sure.” As I turned to step out of the elevator he said, “You’re F’ing voice is annoying and you should really do something about that.”

    I was flabbergasted and walked down the hall in a haze. When I got to my room I shook my head clear and thought WTF? After realising that he was just a competitive ass left to go to dinner. The next day not only did i give one hell of a speech to the crowd but I enjoyed every moment of it. To top it all off, I won the competition. I guess my voice wasn’t so annoying after all.

  347. Lia

    I was told by my ex-alcoholic boyfriend that I had no creativity in me. I entered two juried art shows the next month and made both. One was for photography and one was drawing. Yes, it fueled me.
    He also did the body image comments and had a 12 yr old daughter. Oblivious.

  348. My escalator moment was just before college graduation when I asked a professor the best way to deal with rejection. His response? “Oh you should just quit right now Ashley, you’ll NEVER make it as a writer because I know you’ll never be able to handle rejection.” Pft! I’m still in the game 10 years later. No, I haven’t made it as a huge success, and have had some massive hurdles, but I’ll never quit!

  349. Marie…As they love to say in California: ”Thank you for Sharing”. It acknowledges the Person , yet there is a Level of detachment that is there…Just

    You’re awesome Marie Folrleo…keep on truckin..err keep on Smiling and helping so many People. God Bless. Love Life Loud and clear.

  350. I had a few escalator moments, but the latest one was a week ago with a potential “partner”. I have to say that they also share some good insights with me and I am grateful for that.
    My husband was praising how much I bring into my business, how I did my website by myself and really bragging about his lovely wife, while these two people keep saying that if I am that good, that I think I am, I should have been doing this and that, how I didn’t do this and how that the only way that I can come ahead is by doing this and this and this. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that you have to hear other people opinions on how to grow, but unless you have something to prove for it, then all the talks is of no use, and I don’t believe that you have to shove your ideas in an unkind way to make the other feel that what they have done so far is complete poop and that’s the reason that you need to do this and that. You know what that completely fired me up, and made become very clear that I won’t allow anyone even if they have made I trillions dollar business to be disrespectful to me. That I will never rush in anything that doesn’t make me feel good about myself. I went home and redo all my profit plan from Bschool, until I became crystal clear on what I want to achieve.
    Phew! thank you for this liberation.

  351. Julie

    Dad said I could never be a nurse. I think he meant my upper body strength was poor. But I’ve had a thirty year career as a registered nurse! And I do remember thinking – “YEAH? Watch me!!”

  352. Marco

    I totally agree with much of what has been said in previous coments. I specially like the coined term “surface level supporter”. I find that’s often the case with people around me too. And although I don’t like to admit it, when I recently realised that my own parents, who have always instilled in me the idea that one should always fight for ones dreams, where very superficial in their support once I told them I was going full in with my project, it did bring me down for a while and made all the doubts that I already had become even stronger. But after a while I decided that if they didn’t believe in me, that was their problem and that in reality, all they’re doing is drop on you all their fears, not yours. And that is for them to deal with, not me. In the end, all it does is make me want to show them how wrong they are.
    And this has been pretty much the story of my life, as I have done so many different things throughout it that I have had to reinvent myself or start from scratch several times already and in several different countries. In fact, I some times think of this ability to reinvent myself as a real strength of mine.
    Finally, once as a kid in school there was this comoetition I signed up for. It involved running around a track with two 5 Kilo weights, one in each hand. To win you had to run more rounds than your oponent in a set amount of time. As a kid I used to be very, very thin and I looked a bit flimsy. After I won a few rounds and I got to the final, where I was competing against the other class’ biggest and strongest looking guy, everybody said I stood no chance. Everybody counted me out. And that just pissed me off and made me wanna win even more. So I run those rounds with single-minded focus on winning, and after fighting to stay the course and overtakle my oponent, I actually did win. And then the whole school just erupted in praise. I ended up falling on the floor the secod the referee blew the wistle signalling the end of the race. I was ehausted like I had never been before. But it was totally worth it. Since then, I have always tried to remember that story any time someone else was counting me out. And it really fuels me forward 🙂

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      That’s AWESOME, Marco! That’s such a great story and I’m really glad you let the naysayers fuel you into proving them all wrong. 🙂

      • Marco

        Thanks a lot, Mandy. I have to ad that in the end, once I managed to explain all my plans to my parents and a few days had gone by, they totally came round to the idea and are being very supportive now. I think their initial reaction to my having lost my job was due to their fear. But once they had a chance to hear me out and process the information I’d given them, they’re all in with me now, which is awesome 🙂

  353. Amy

    I’ve been protecting my business idea for a little while…until a time recently where I opened up to someone close. This person asked how I was different than anyone else already providing that service. I felt hurt. This person close to me didn’t believe in me. But, it also got me thinking 1) I need to refine how I explain what I do and 2) I feel even more committed to my dreams.

    • Caroline - Team Forleo

      Amy, I’m so sorry to hear that happened to you. It takes a lot of courage to share ideas we’ve been keeping close, and it’s really hurtful when those closest to us don’t believe in or support what we’re dreaming of.

      As Marie often shares, other people may have similar products or services to other businesses, but what makes it unique is YOU! Alongside this episode, I thought I might pass along another one of my favorites that talks about standing out and how to convey your message:

      We’re cheering you on all the way, Amy!

  354. I can see the great lesson in this story, but wow it made my blood boil…and on International Womens’ Day no less!! Well I’m currently in B-School and yesterday I was telling someone that I was taking this great business course and when she asked what it was I just said “B-School” thinking I’d have to elaborate and really fill her in….NOPE! She’s already a Marie Forleo fan, knows all about B-School, and listens to your podcasts. So obviously d-bag escalator guy didn’t know who he was messing with!

  355. Since I last visited this article (I’m now in B-school again), I collected a great example of someone close to me who didn’t believe that my business model worked, and instead I should come up with one of those ideas that makes me millions. Yeah, unbelievable, I know! : )
    It made me focus so much and find the resources I need, plus of course, that person is no longer close to me. And I’m grateful for the lesson.
    Thank you, Marie, yes, it really works.

  356. Mercy

    Just yesterday I went to a film school to inform myself about acting and synchronization, the woman who informed me told me I had an accent and to be honest she wouldn’t encourage me to study this because It was very difficult for me to get a job with that accent. I am living in Germany.
    I felt so down, but at the same time I felt she wasn’t right, she said she was realistic and since the whole career costs 12.000€ she didn’t think it was right to encourage me to do it. How do you see that? Is it realistic and I should just forget about it?

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      I’m really sorry to hear you had that experience, Mercy. We encourage you to trust your gut and do what you feel is right deep in your bones. Everyone, no matter how talented or how famous has felt discouraged and cut down. I think about all the people I look up to and imagine how if they’d listened to their detractors, I may not have ever heard of them and they might have given up before inspiring hundreds, thousands, or even millions of people with their work, including me.

      We’re not familiar with the film industry since it’s a bit outside of our area of expertise, but who’s to say that a role wouldn’t open up for a German character and they’d want someone with an authentic accent. Another possibility is that if you feel your accent is holding you back, there are speech coaches who help people learn to speak without an accent. There are endless options and possibilities. We encourage you to trust your heart since it knows the way.

  357. Katie Lagergren

    Ah, escalator moments. Gotta love them. Lol! So true about their being motivating.

    I’m a crazy girl who loves to try LOTS of things!! My #1 Strength on the Gallup test is Learner. So anyway, I’m always learning about new things and sharing what I learn with my family, including siblings. So I start building my current business and my sister’s husband asks me, “So how long is this thing gonna last?” OOOHH!! I thought to myself, “I’ll show him!! This is not just some phase I’m going through!” And it’s not. Lol I’ve been building my business for over 5 years now and plan to for the rest of my life. I’m also thankful to him for not believing in me!! Fuel for the fire! Thanks, Marie!!

  358. Kate

    From a friend:
    “When your vitaminthingie doesn’t work out I can get you a job where I work.”
    My revenge is to succeed.

    • Naomi

      Me too! I love this.

  359. Naomi

    My mother always liked to put me down! About 18 months ago I had a career/life coach and he made me realise that I have really done a lot of amazing things in my work and personal life (including overcoming cancer and not being able to walk), and I am absolutely good enough. I’ve been so inspired since. I was telling my mum how positive it was making me feel and all the things I could accomplish and she simply said
    “ well of course he would say that, you are paying him for goodness sake! “

    She just looked at me as if I was pathetic. From that moment I realised she would never change, so I no longer put up with anything like that. I know that she is just jealous which is why she says horrible things, and I now use comments like this to fuel me to be even better.
    Now I am creating an amazing online course and starting a fabulous new business. Thanks Marie for all your wisdom and kindness.

  360. Judith

    I’m super careful about who I tell my entrepreneurial plans to. Although I’m not overly sensitive about negative comments and negative people, what they say is coming from their own fears and insecurity. Because at this fledgling stage in my startup (just joined 2019 B School) I need encouragement more than growth moments. A critic never created anything. Now, helpful constructive criticism is a whole nother matter.

  361. My (horrible) x-husband used to always put me down and tell me all the different ways I would never be as good as him, I would never make as much money as him, and I would never accomplish anything. Those words really stuck in my head long after our divorce, especially when I went back to college. Indeed, it was a negative message that I wanted to get out of my head, but it fueled me not only through my undergraduate degree, but a graduate degree as well! Now I have a Master’s degree, a job that I love, and I suspect that I even make more money than he does! So there!

  362. So inspiring. I have made a living for 30 years teaching. But I have been creating performances for free (or nearly free) for the same amount of time. I have let myself be frustrated with the idea that I could not make it as an artist. I had a lot of support but I also had a lot of people tell me how fun it must be to have such an interesting “hobby”. Hundreds of performances later, I am now realizing my gifts lie in both camps: I am an artist AND a teacher and I love both. I have been patted and talked down to but I always kept going back to my central theme: I am a story warrior and love is my center. Thanks, Marie, for your constant example. You’re a beacon on a hill!

  363. Dulce Werner

    Hello! Hello! this might be a bit long. Apologies! I once had a husband..ha! Well, I was raised in the culture of…”You take care of your family first and foremost” So, I did and I do, but back then I forgot about myself. BUT! I did everything for my husband. I put him through school, I supported him emotionally and financially through his development while I thought I would somehow get love and affection and appreciation back. Well, no, it didn’t happen that way. One good day he told me, ” You are an under achiever” You have a lot of potential but do not use it. HE was RIGHT! I was using my potential on him not on me. So, we divorced and I have done whatever it takes to support my daughter and myself, and while I am still working on using my full potential (hence B-school), that little comment gave me fuel to smash his face (oops! no, not really) gave me fuel to use my attributes for ME!

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      Right on, Dulce! Your dreams and goals are important, and you matter. We’re thrilled you’re exploring, learning more, and diving into where your heart is leading you. 🙂

  364. rebecca

    Hi Marie, this really helped me to stay motivated and have faith in my abilities, intuition and my angels. I recently left a job which no longer served me I was being bullied and always under stress that gave me the fuel to get people on my email list i did b-school I got a lot from it . Anyways I live at home as Im saving and my mum said something which totally made me feel so upset , seeing this video made me freekin proud of what I have done within one month without a proper website and though you know what I will use this to be my fuel that a im serving people and b i’m god messanger . This was just want I needed everytime I feel like crying because of something which people cannot see I will remind myself at what I have done so far, be happy and use it as my fuel to get this thing off the ground so i can move out. Love you so much and without everything I learnt I wouldnt be here cannot wait to get in contact with you when everything is off the ground.

  365. Cristina

    I’m currently in B-School and just hopped over to this suggested video when tackling the fifth lesson in Module 1, where you give a few examples of unearthing motivating stories. Not sure how I never saw this one before since I’ve been watching you weekly since January 2012!! Not only did this video open a flood gate of relevant stories, one in particular immediately surfaced:
    I always loved learning Spanish, but was never good at it until I actually learned it. I endured years in high school and university…failing Spanish and retaking the same class, only to earn a D or at best a C. Nearing the end of the first semester of my 3rd year in college, the new chair of the Spanish department and my Latin American Poetry professor stopped me as I was leaving class, “I noticed on the roster at yesterday’s department meeting that you’re a Spanish major. I highly recommend you drop this class and change your major. You have no affinity for the language and you’re ruining your GPA. With a transcript like yours you’ll never get into grad school nor will anyone ever want to hire you.” She always spoke to me in her thickly accented English, while making it no secret that my Spanish was unbearable to her ears. A bit stunned and confused, “Thank you for your concern professor, but how am I ever going to learn Spanish if I stop now?” rolled off my tongue and I bolted out of there. Of course, in retrospect, her concern clearly was having a less than stellar roster of Spanish majors to report and thus perhaps lower her standing in the university and across language departments nationally. Not my concern.
    Flash forward, eventually I learned Spanish and have loved the power of being bilingual, have been hired and paid for my Spanish language skills, as well as I speak it with my son at home. When I hear someone on the street speak Spanish, I can switch without a beat and offer directions, help or just jump in a conversation wherever about anything. I don’t need or use subtitles when watching movies from the Spanish speaking world. I served as an interpreter for a two-day UN conference on Indigenous Rights, spent 3 months in Guatemala doing detailed translating work for an organization who rescues street kids and another that negotiates human rights for indigenous communities throughout the country, as well as worked as an election monitor. And I spent 6 weeks in Cuba doing research…cumulatively conducting well over a 100 interviews in Spanish. I even taught Spanish one year in a NYC public school. When I lived in Hungary, a real estate firm hired me to be their in-house Spanish investment advisor for residential and commercial properties and land….and this only scrapes the surface! LOL! Sorry to be so verbose….In essence, much of the most meaningful and interesting parts of my life to date wouldn’t have happened had I listened to the naysayers and given up back then.

    • Mandy - Team Forleo

      This is AWESOME, Cristina! I’m so glad you didn’t let your professor stop you from doing what you knew you were meant to do. You’re strong, resilient, driven, and dedicated. You rock!

  366. Catherine

    Great video. I’m studying nutrition at the minute and working part time. I’m also in B-School and really working hard to launch my coaching business. Just the other day I told someone what I was doing and he said, “that’s great, you’re just basically skiving and living off him (my husband), I wish I could do that”. That is the opposite of what I’m doing and it really fired me up to prove that, much as I love my husband, I am not living off him.
    Thanks Marie, I loved this story. I’m grateful for that guy too because B-School is awesome! I also adore that dress, it’s perfect!

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