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Are you ready for this? (singing).
I think we did a cheerleading competition to that song.
Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching Marie TV, the place to be to create a business and a life that you love so much that you’re going to do a dance with it. Yes. Today’s question comes from Ms Christine and she writes, “Hi Marie, I would love you to A this Q. How do you deal with criticism when you’re putting yourself out there all the time? I know everyone’s entitled to their own opinions, but when you get someone that is very critical and it feels like they’re trying to define you by their own beliefs rather than the message you’re trying to get across or who you are or what you represent, how do you not let it affect you in a negative way? Even more so when these are people that are close to you. I have a really difficult time with this. Thank you, Christine.”
You know, Christine, most people have a tough time being criticized, so it’s very normal that it doesn’t feel so good, you know? Right, I’ve been putting myself out there for years. So I do have some experience on this topic. And of course you made it very clear that you would like to know how I personally deal with it. So here we go. Number one, you got to realize that criticism comes with creativity. It was Aristotle who said, “If you want to avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” So if you’re going to do anything in life, you’ve got to realize that this is part of the game. I don’t want you to resist that fact. Just embrace it. Number two, not all criticism is bad. Constructive criticism can really help you grow. So I don’t want you to be so sensitive that you dismiss it all.
Marie, Can I point something out to you?
You know what? You can point it out to the hand. I did not get to where I am today by letting people like you take me down.
Okay, it’s just that you’re not wearing any pants.
You know, last I checked, this was Marie TV, not [Jams 00:02:02] and His Stupid Comments TV.
Here’s the thing though, the people that know you and love you and support you, they will offer constructive criticism most often in private. I mean that’s what my friends do for me and I try and do the same for them. Now as for the clownholes who offer you criticism and they don’t even know you, you want to be strong enough to be able to skim any morsel off the top that could possibly be useful to you. Now, as for these kinds of clownholes who don’t even know me, who publicly criticize me online, I honestly kind of feel bad for them. I’m never sure what they’re actually trying to gain from it. It’s clear they have little to no emotional intelligence and way too much time on their hands. Plus 99% of the time these people are not creating anything positive for themselves or others. So it’s not like I really respect their opinion anyway.
But my most important strategy is this. Number three is don’t give away your power. So anytime some nasty criticism or BS comes your way, you have to say this, “You cannot take me down. I will not give you that power.” I want you to make that your new mantra in life. You got to realize that people can say whatever they want, but you do not have to take it in and you don’t have to let it ruin your day. Your time on this earth is so precious and it’s really, really important that you protect your soul. Number four is take a stand for kindness. So I have a secret imaginary organization that not many people know about until it’s too late. It’s called MF’s Ministry of Kindness and the basic tenant is, “Be kind or leave.” So if someone is unkind, they get a letter from my organization that says this, “Dear Ms. Clownhole, MF’s Ministry of Kindness invites you not to stay.” Or if I think they’d respond better to something a little less formal, I send them this video message from my friend Eddie.
It’s my house, you know what it is. And if you don’t like it, you get the (beep) out.
Here’s the deal, Christine, do not let anybody come into your house and basically squat down and take a hot, steamy dump on your living room floor. Do not tolerate people being mean or cruel to you, your friends, your family, your team, anybody in your world. So how do you do this? You delete people, you disengage, you block them, you unsubscribe them. Number five, and this is really probably my favorite, you need to have a good laugh. So one of my favorite things in the world is what Jimmy Kimmel does, where he has his mean celebrity tweets where celebrities read out loud the awful things that people write directly to them. Take a look at Ethan Hawke.
Ethan Hawke seems like a guy who wasn’t supposed to be a movie star, but he slipped through the cracks and everyone was just like, “Okay.”
Now you can see the full video below. It is hilarious. The best thing is how all these celebs deal with it. They just read it out loud, they share it with us, they laugh about it, which is the perfect way to remove the sting. And to prove it to you, I’m going to join in and read some criticism that people like to share with me. So here’s a comment from one of our subscribers, Karen, who actually signed up to hear from me. She writes, “I find you obnoxious and your style is deceiving.” Karen. You know, she’s right. Don’t trust the skirt. And here’s another love note. “Does anyone know how much of Marie’s hair is false? I’d guess that mane she tosses over her shoulders is 70% extensions.” And then someone responded saying, “Ding, ding, ding. I’d go with around 80% actually, I’ve always found her gobs of fake hair, very distracting, and I’ve been surprised to see her being praised for her great hair when it’s obviously almost entirely extensions. Her natural hair, it’s just the layers around her face. I’ve never seen it longer than past her shoulders. Her natural hair is not that thick of all out. Ow, Greg. She covers it up with teasing her hair, so to make her hair look fuller, this is obvious even in the pics without extensions. Greg, I know, I know. Now they know it’s not fake.”
Sorry to burst your bubble, but this is the hair that I was born with.
Pretty awesome, right? Now, I know when sometimes somebody says something really mean or cruel to you, it can stay in your head for a while. So if you just can’t laugh it off or brush it off, I want you to remember this tweetable. “If mean words keep popping up in your mind, don’t let them drop down and poison your soul.” One last thing, we did another awesome episode on criticism. It’s right here. So if you want more, just go and check that out. So Christine, that was my A to your Q. I hope it helps. Now I would love to hear from you. How do you deal with criticism in your life? Have you gotten any really priceless tweets or comments or shares that make you laugh now? If you want to put them in the comments below. Now, as always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at marieforleo.com. So go there and leave a comment now.
Did you like this video? I certainly did. It was one of my favorites. If you did subscribe and share it with your friends. And if you want some more resources to create a business in life that you love, come on over to marieforleo.com and make sure you sign up for email updates. Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on Marie TV.
And I’m assuming we’ll take my pants off at the end? You don’t know me, not crunkin, crankin down in the ATL. So You Think You Can Dance? It’s always an educational program. I got no pants.