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Hey, it’s Marie Forleo, and you are watching Marie TV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. This is Q and A Tuesday. Today’s question comes from Kirstie in the UK, and she writes, “Hey, Marie. Let me start by saying what an inspiration you are to me. So great to see how you put everything across in a such a fun and fresh way.” You are welcome. “So here’s my situation. I started my dream business at the age of 23, and when it was just one and a half years old, I got pregnant. I was in a relatively new relationship, but I trusted that everything happens for a reason. My daughter is now seven months old, and watching her grow is teaching me so much. I’m trying to be the best mom I can be, but I’ll be honest, this was not part of my business plan. :)”
“Being so young and having a new business and a new baby is really challenging, especially because no friends my age are going through the same thing. I do have a supportive partner and he also runs his own business. But since he’s the main breadwinner, he feels his business has to come first. Do you have any tips on how to be the best mom I can be, and not let my dream business slip through my fingers? Sending you tons of gratitude. Love, Kirstie.” Kirstie, this is such an important question. In fact, we have tens of thousands of moms in our community that are feeling exactly how you are now. I am a step-mom, but Zane came into my life when he was nine years old and long past diaper, so I can’t really relate to your situation exactly. However, I have someone here who knows exactly what you’re going through, and she’s going to help us uncover some incredible tips to help you have a business that you love, and be a great mom at the same time.
Latham Thomas is the founder of Mama Glow, a boutique maternity lifestyle brand, author of the bestseller Mama Glow A Hip Guide to Your Fabulous Abundant Pregnancy, which has been endorsed by Alicia Keys, Rebecca Minkoff, Christy Turlington Burns, and more. She’s the mom of the nine-year-old phenom DJ Filano. Co-founder of the Mama Glow Film Festival and Mama Glow Salon Series Platforms for education, advocacy, and philanthropy, and maternal health.
Latham, thank you so much for being here today. I love you so dearly, and it’s such an honor to have you here on the show.
Thank you for having me. I’m glad to be here too.
So I know that your story is very similar to Kirstie’s which was odd when you and I talked via email, right? Tell us a little bit about that.
I related so much to Kirstie’s story. I was 23 when I had my son Filano. I was also in a similar situation where his father was the breadwinner. I felt like my business had to take a back seat, and I also felt like I didn’t have the resources and support to make it happen. I really related to her story.
Yeah, and I love that. And that’s why I wanted to have you here today. Because in all honesty, we’ve been getting this question for years now, and it’s been a topic that I wanted to tackle. And I was like, “I can’t tackle because I didn’t have a little baby while I was growing my business.” You and I have talked about this a lot, and you have five glow tips that can help us. Let’s start with tip number one, which I believe is really a mindset tip.
Glow tip number one is don’t victimize yourself. It’s really easy to get caught up in this idea that you don’t have enough, and this idea of lack. From woe is me, let’s go to wow is me. “I’m powerful. I can do this. I have everything I need to make it happen.” It’s really about changing your mindset.
I think that’s perfect. I think for all of us, no matter what our situation is in life, it really starts up here.
And if you get that right, then everything else can follow.
Glow tip number two is about make nap time your dream time. Tell me about that.
Turning nap time into dream time came about because a lot of parents when they have new babies, they think like, “Oh my God, the baby’s sleeping. Let me get some work done.” But not housework and chores really get the nuts and bolts of your business down. This is a time for you to start strategizing, to get things done in business, make phone calls, important emails, and really map out what you want your business to be, because you can always find time to get your housework done, and you can hire somebody to do that as well.
Yeah, that was awesome. I love glow tip number three which is join a babysitting co-op, or start one. Tell us more about that.
Babysitting co-ops are a great way for parents to get affordable childcare within their community. You can hire somebody, and all of you can pool resources to look after your kids, or each different days of the week, you can have one person look after all the children. It’s a great way for the children to be together, and thrive as they grow together. But it’s also wonderful for you to have that set aside time to devote to your business.
Awesome. Glow tip number four is getting people on board. What does that mean?
Getting people on your team, finding cheerleaders, people who really believe in what you’re trying to do, because there’s always naysayers, and those people need to get out. You want to make sure that you find people, your partner, should know what you’re up to, your family, make sure that you have cheerleaders. You want these people to all know what you’re doing, but also be able to support you. There’s going to be times where you need resources or need help last minute, and you want to just be able to be able to ask.
Yeah, and what I love about that too is, and something you and I said, we were talking privately on the phone, you said it’s so important for a woman to really share how big her vision is with the people that she loves. So they understand it’s not just some little side hobby, that she has a big vision for her business. And while it may not be there yet, for them to really buy in to where she’s going, and they can get on board. I just thought that was so lovely. And it also forces us, I think, as women to be real with ourselves.
Exactly, and to claim it. We have to change the legacy. A lot of the moms have this thing of giving so much of themselves and we all do it, but we give so much all the time that we feel like we can’t give back to ourselves. People don’t know what we’re up to in the middle of the night when we’re typing these emails and doing all this work, they would probably want to help us. You got to pull that team together, and get people on board with your mission.
So whether you’re a mom or not, I think that that’s really, really important to get people on board with your mission and your vision. Let’s take it now to glow tip number five which is take goddess time.
This was really born out of what I see is the necessity of moms to really reclaim themselves. When you start to create boundaries around your self care, then you could really create boundaries around how you want to build your business too. You need to have some respites, some rest, relax. You’re giving so much on a regular basis that if you’re not putting back into yourself, no one else is going to be able to do it for you. So whatever it is that you love, shut off your iPhone for a second, maybe take a hot bath, cuddle up with a good book, maybe go see a movie with a friend or something. Maybe have dinner for one, something nice, dress up, just be alone, and enjoy that time because it’s really rare to have it. And it’s so important for us to do, especially as we’re building our businesses and helping to grow our children, we get exhausted. And so it’s a way for us to recharge the batteries and to have a little glow time alone.
I love that. I can hear so many women saying, “Yes, yes, that sounds great but I feel so guilty when I take any time for myself.” So for example, if I’m spending a couple of minutes doing email, I feel like I should spend other time with my kid, like taking a bath, feel selfish. What do you say to women who have a big guilt issue about taking any goddess time?
Guilt doesn’t really help us in this situation. We’re really trying to grow and expand ourselves. So you know how when you ride the plane and they say, put your safety mask on first and then assist others, it’s sort of like that type of philosophy. You have to replenish yourself first before you can be a really good mom and of service to others and to your work. You want to put back into you, and you can’t feel guilty about that because you’re a priority as well, but you can’t be an amazing mom, an amazing business woman, if you’re not taking care of yourself.
Latham, thank you so much. That was so, so wonderful. All those tips are amazing. And I have to just say, got your book, Mama Glow.
Which is all about, I mean, A Hip Guide to Your Fabulous Abundant Pregnancy. And for anyone, if you want more tips on how to really take great care of yourself, I highly recommend getting Latham’s book. It’s absolutely fantastic. Latham, thanks again for being here. I appreciate it.
Thank you too, Marie. I appreciate you.
So now, Latham and I would love to hear from you. What tips do you have about being the best mom and the best business owner you can be? I really want to see a rich discussion on this one and as always, the best stuff happens after the episode over marieforleo.com. So go there, and leave a comment now. Did you like this video? If so, subscribe, and share it with your friends. If you want even more great resources to create a business and life that you love plus some personal insights from me, then I only share an email, get those buns over to marieforleo.com, and sign up for email updates. Stay on your game, and keep going for your dreams. The world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching Marie TV, and I’ll see you next time.
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You’re so great. You could speak ABCs.
You should see the crazy that comes out of my mouth. You have no idea.
Kick Mama Glow, Mama Glow, Mama Glow, Mama Glow, yes.