Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

read more

Goodness, gracious great balls of LIVE!  I’m still in major relaxation mode after our epic event.

In fact, the team stayed on an extra day to soak in the good vibes and celebrate our biggest and most successful event yet!

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. @marwilliamson Click To Tweet

I love all the people I work with so much that I consider them friends in addition to business colleagues.

Which can bring up an important question: are friends, business and competition a deadly combination?

Let’s face it.

We all learn our craft somewhere, and many times we learn it from a mentor, who is also a friend.

Truth is, sometimes we surpass our mentor and it can be weird to compete with someone you admire.

If you’ve ever wondered if you should mix business with friends, or how to deal with competition in business, then watch this video now.

You’ll hear my take on what can be a very sticky situation, plus some smart words from one of my favorite authors of all time.

 

 

Do you have any experience when it comes to friends, business and competition?

I’d love to hear your take and experience on this subject.

Please share your experiences and insights as your comment could be just what someone else needs to have an important breakthrough.

Let’s get it cookin’ in the comments below!

xox

You may also like...
Add a Comment

94 comments

  1. Oooh, look at me! First comment! I treated myself to a little unauthorized preview.
    I love this Q&A. The (potential) issue between Diane and her colleagueagentteacherfriend is right out of Haskell’s Ice Cream Shop. That’s where Marcia Brady hooked up Jan with a job, and showed her the ropes. Then, Jan worked super hard while Marcia was lazy and took ice cream breaks. Marcia got fired. But she could’ve upped her game instead of sitting around eating banana splits. Her choice. And good for Jan for doing a great job. She could’ve said, “I don’t want to outshine my sister.” But no. She said, “I’m here to work. Not to eat” and kept mopping. So maybe Jan wasn’t such a screwup after all.

    • Tee

      Ok, I’m super impressed that you just busted out an episode of the Brady Bunch. If I ever find myself facing a Brady trivia question, I’m coming straight to you.

    • OMG this had me laughing out loud!

    • HA! I love this! Kudos for remembering that episode and how timely! You got to bust out that trivia like no one’s business!

    • Belgray, I think you are lazy for just relying on a television show instead of talking about your self. But, you do get points for correct names and places. “Haskell’s Ice Cream Shop”, you may have looked that up…which also shows effort. Or, you may have done copy writing for a Brady Special for Nick at Night. That also shows effort. And, you have lifted us all up with this example that we can connect to. I take it back, this was a perfect example of what Marie is talking about here. Bravo! And, BRAVO to those hot moves at RHH Live. You definitely inspired me to go harder. There’s plenty of sizzle for us all. Still sizzlin.

      • Barb S.

        Ane Axford…who are YOU to call someone lazy?? lbelgray was making a point using a very good example. Your comment is so negative! How sad for you to have to call someone else lazy or any other name, for that matter.

        • A different Barb S.

          Hey, Barb! Did you read Ane’s whole comment? It was a joke! By the end, she acknowledged that Ane isn’t lazy at all! As in, “I take it back, this was a perfect example of what Marie is talking about here. Bravo!” And really, would anyone watching Marie’s videos ever leave a cruel comment like that? I seriously doubt it.

          • Really, Barb S. #1. Not reading the whole thing, that’s what’s lazy. Right out of Marcia’s playbook. I bet you were having an ice cream break while writing your comment.

            Ane, I love you but resent the insinuation that I had to look up Brady trivia on the internet. It’s all up here, baby. In my brain.

    • marie

      God I love you Laura 🙂

      • I love you! You are the best. And, my favorite friend to do business with.

    • I seriously love this reference. Nice. And wonderful Q&A Marie!

  2. Tee

    Right before that Marianne Williamson quote that Marie recites, Marianne says, “Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.”

    The quote has helped me get through many times when I felt I was up against someone I perceived as better, more powerful, more established than I am.

    You and your colleagueagentteacherfriend can coexist. As Marie was saying, there are plenty of clients out there for the both of you. If you can find a way to work together, there may be a way for you both to make some significant cash.

    Perhaps you can combine forces and put on a workshop together w/ each you teaching your strengths.

  3. I can only second this!
    Collaboration not competition. I have started working with a friend and artist to, among other things, use her artwork in a wedding kit design. I am also building relationships with other wedding designers and offering them the use of my online platform (and a generous licensing agreement) where they can offer an alternative product to their customers who don’t have the budget for custom designs without having to build their own online shop. Everybody really wins! We exponentially increase the power our individual networks, increase sales, and benefit from all of our different strengths.

  4. One of my dear friends starting calling her “direct competition” direct supporters. I love this because it reminds us that we can all support each other.

    And I agree with you completely – spend our energy building our business and let the rest go. If we truly do a good job, there will be nothing to worry about. 🙂

  5. These are great reminders, as always Marie. Thanks so much!

    @Tee
    I love this too “Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.”

    Congrats on a great weekend. Loved hearing the news in the B-school group. Rest up and relax with a hot cuppa 🙂 xx

    • marie

      thank you Nicola – I am indeed!

  6. That was a lovely, inspiring, enlightening view on business and friendship!
    Thanx & hug from Holland 🙂

  7. Love this. I have worked with people who were super sensitive about not sharing their material in case the competition got it (which means they don’t get to share their work around as much as they like).

    I’m also interested in hearing from you all what you feel about coaching friends, family. Some people say no because it’s an unequal relationship and others say design the space and get to work! What do you all think? What have been your experiences?

    • marie

      Hey Sophie! Coaching friends works when expectations, structure and communication are crystal clear. Regarding family, I wouldn’t recommend it for most people. I’ve personally never wanted to go there!

  8. If it ruins your friendship then you weren’t really friends in the first place!

    All too often as entrepreneurs we worry how others will feel – turn the table and ask yourself if that person would do the same for you? Probably not ….

    Love that you point out that there is plenty of business and money to go round …

    • Great pointing this out, Ameena! “If it ruins your friendship then you weren’t really friends in the first place!”

      I let go of a long “friendship” (let’s call her “J”) because every time money came up, J would get angry & direct her anger at me. I was often explaining why I do what I do, feel the way I feel, etc. – in essence, explaining why I am who I am. After a lot of years (because I love her), I realized the process was wearing me out. I dreaded getting together with her. So, I let the relationship go. Difficult, but liberating.

      There absolutely IS plenty to go around. We want to be in relationships that echo it, so we can keep the energy flowing for all of us!

  9. Hey Marie,
    First of all, your hair is looking SUPER fab! It always looks great, but it’s extra sleek today. Lovely!
    I have to admit that early on in my life I was more of a frenemie than a friend. I wanted to celebrate my friends’ successes but I was so insecure and gripped with fear that instead I was filled with jealousy and bitterness. I resented their brave ability to pursue their dreams while I floated on by wishing, hoping and planning, but not doing.
    Thankfully, I woke up and saw the light. Once I began to work on myself, my esteem and self-confidence, I was able to overcome these obstacles. Today nothing gives me more pleasure than celebrating the success of others. One of my favorite parts of the day is when I come together with other fellow business women to brainstorm ideas and celebrate one another. It’s great to know there’s plenty of business for everyone and we can all help each other grow and reach new levels. 🙂

    • marie

      Thanks for the hair props, but more importantly – thank you for sharing your evolution here!

  10. this is fabulous Marie. I like what a good friend of mine said. Instead of calling them competition, see them as supporters.

    I also like what you said about just working your business. If you do a good enough job you won’t be worrying about the competition. 🙂

  11. Hey, Marie:
    Great post! One of the things I think should be noted is that the gal and her friend had not established boundaries on the friend, mentor, agent thing. Sometimes people get confused and then anger sets in because the lines are so blurred. Even if it’s explained and the other person “gets it,” often the original person does zoom past their friend, agent, mentor but it’s done from a more complete standpoint. Of course, we are not responsibile for someone else’s reaction, etc., only our own and I endeavor to do this in a loving way. There’s plenty of business out there for everyone 🙂 Awesome, girl! You rock!

    • marie

      Great point Sharon.

  12. Barbara

    Ur so right…if you have a passion, go for it! I started ballet classes 4 years ago and I’m over 60. I LOVE it. Ok, all the steps are new to my feet and the rest of my body, but what a buzz. I’ve joined 3 dance shows since, (and another one coming up), and have discovered that I also LOVE being on stage. So I’m not a prima ballerina, but I have a big smile!

  13. Love the tweetable BUT you don’t really answer the question about mixing friends with business. I love that you encourage people to go and be successful but what about DOING business with friends? I’m smack dab in the middle of this situation and was O_O when I opened my email today, hoping to see some sort of advice. Can you be more specific about the dynamics of working with friends?

    I have a rule about not working with someone I wouldn’t drink with BUT I’ve never done business with someone I was good friends with first. It’s like going from a one-night stand to a full blown relationship… you know?

    • marie

      Hi Tamara. Thanks for asking that.

      In each video I do my best to answer the specific question the reader has asked and keep it under six minutes. There is a lot more to say about mixing friendship with business – and frankly, there’s not ONE right answer.

      It depends on the business, the people and challenge.

      I’ve seen and experienced times that mixing business and friends works beautifully, and also seen times that it’s a full on disaster. So if you have a specific question about your situation, please send it in to info@marieforleo.com so I can A this Q from a different perspective.

      To give you a few ideas right now:

      1. Always have legal agreements in place first about what happens if the partnership does not work out or one person wants to leave.

      2. Be clear on the roles and responsibilities.

      3. Trust your gut. If any part of you is hesitant, don’t do it.

      Hope this helps!

      • Tamara, great question and Marie thanks for adding such detailed clarification. I love that your 1st point of advice is to put legal agreements in place. I recently co-hosted a conference with a fellow coach, friend and mentor and while we got lucky that things worked out smoothly for us, there were 1 or 2 situations that could have potentially caused friction. Knowing that you recommend a legal doc even for friends is comforting and will definitely be a MUST for our next venture together. Thanks for that!

  14. Hey Marie–

    I completely agree with the abundance versus scarcity principle. There is enough work to go around for everyone.

    I respectfully disagree with mixing business and friendship. True, if you’re now in competition with your friend/mentor/teacher, it could go either way.

    In my experience the dynamic changes, and the friendship suffers. If you’re my teacher, there is an implied power differential, and one that is agreed upon when the relationship is formed. If I now am the one dispensing advice to you, you may feel threatened, confused and resentful.

    This may be more of a female dynamic, I don’t know…?

    • marie

      Hey Linda! Great perspective. It’s really an individual choice. Each of us has to do what feels and works best for us.

  15. What can I say that hasn’t already been said? I agree and really understood this when I found out that the word competition comes from that Latin which means ‘to serve together’ So it’s about people working together to stretch and grow themselves.
    Thanks as ever for a great Q n A tuuuuuesday!
    Jules
    x

    • I love that – I had no idea that’s the latin meaning. Thanks for sharing

  16. Very wise advice + most likely they will both rise together. Having many friends who do what I do is actually fun. We can support one another and even provide accountability for them. One thing that makes it even better is I have a very specific client that I work with and always defer business to my friends when it is something I do not do. It’s a win win. Great Q!

    • Couldn’t agree with you more Hillary! Recently I got a client who wanted coaching through grief and loss – totally not my area. I’m a motivation, get your sh*t together, and let’s make things happen type of coach. You know, the no-nonsense, type of coach. Needless to say, I knew this woman deserved to be coached by someone who worked specifically in her field and I was really pleased to be able to refer her to another coach in that area. Everyone wins. The client, most importantly, get the best help for her specific situation, my colleague gets the biz, and I sleep well knowing that I helped put two people together and real healing will begin. Amen! 😉

  17. Love the idea of there is enough business for everyone! I just printed a t-shirt with the word Mudita (Sanskrit): which means I’m happy for your good fortune. My translation on the t-shirt: your joy warms my heart. Because if you are happy, there isn’t less happiness available for me. My new mantra!
    You rock!

  18. Loving this! 🙂 Getting out of a scarcity mindset has been one of the most helpful lessons I’ve been learning. <3

  19. Casey

    What a timely Q&A for me. I have been struggling with the misconceptions that 1. “there isn’t enough business” for me to start my dream business, and, 2). if I start my dream business my mentor will think I’m trying to steal business from her. Thanks for slappin’ me back to reality!

  20. One of my favorite videos! I have been on both sides of this and gotta admit often it has felt sticky:)! thanks for more straightforward, clear your head thinking!!

  21. Ida Santana, MD

    Thank you Marie. My soul is on fire from RHHLive! This question is so apropro of my Sister Godess Lovefest weekend at RHHLive where it was all about building connections that make us all bigger rather than competing for “Quien es mas Macha?” as my mother who’s one of the Farm Midwives used to say after coming home from midwife conferences where midwives tried to out do each other with laundry lists of accomplishments.
    Love to all my RHHLive Sister Godesses out there,
    Ida

    • Hi Ida!

      I want you to know I appreciate your mom’s story so much. That’s so cool she’s a Farm Midwife. I went to the Farm for a conference about 10 years ago, and the environment was SO unlike any other midwifery conference I had ever been to. It was ALL about CREATION, not competition.

      Thanks again for sharing!

  22. I love the analogy that a rising tide lifts all the ships. (I seem to enjoy nautical analogies, like turning your ship around, etc… I must have been a sailor in a past life! Ahem.)

    I have to admit that I used to worry about this a lot when I was first starting out. But I have witnessed with my own two eyes that there is enough for everyone, and that truly the bottom line is not who gets more business/success… but rather how many people we can actually serve and help in the world. I think it’s easy to forget that part of things, but you remind us of it often Marie – so thank you for that!

  23. I love it “your success can never hurt anyone around you, all it can do is help and inspire others”. Fantastic words to live by!! Thanks again Marie!

  24. Great advice! I’m trying to grow my business online. I respect others who do what I do in their own businesses. I don’t mind helping them with something if they needed it. I agree with you that there is room for everyone to have a successful business. My inspiration comes from what others have done with their businesses. And we can help each other succeed. Your advice was positive and encouraging. Thanks!

  25. I never new all the issues that would pop up when I decided to start my own business, but they sure do! I feel like I’m having to totally learn how to speak English all over again when it comes to explaining my work to my friends and family. Thank you for your insight!

  26. “Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!” It’s what Jan whined when she got jealous because her sister was getting all the attention at a party. As Regena Thomashauer taught me, jealousy is a positive emotion. It means: “I want me some of that.” Now, when I feel a twinge of jealously toward my business colleagues or competitors, I use it as a compass. It’s guiding me toward something I also want: more business, more money, more fun, more press, more space, a spot at the next RHH Live…..

  27. Marie, I am still in awe of the weekend I just had. I came away with SO much inspiration and a new take on life, and I have you to thank for that.

    I can relate to this post. I live in a small town with a small market and all the design/marketing people are either friends or enemies. I have often worried about stepping on other people’s toes even though I know I might be a better fit for someone. I never thought about it as helping them up their game too. So true.

    Thanks for your wisdom, it was truly an honor to meet and hang out with you over the weekend.

  28. I am faced with this issue everyday when yoginis, yoga teachers and friends walk into my yoga-a-porter.com boutique wearing logos from my biggest competitor. Heck, I’m not even competing with this competitor they are so giant now but I can’t help but feel a pang of pissed-off-ness when friends wear that particular logo in my face. I feel they should be supporting my business 🙁

    I’m working on prosperity consciousness.

    • Hi DivineYoganista!
      Thinking about how to upper your game…
      Maybe giving some free t-shirst with YOUR logo on it to your friends would make a difference… and they’ll start wearing them when they enter your competitor’s shop! XD

      Change the vibrations of your feelings, and your whole world will change!
      Good luck and hugs!

  29. Your Q+A could not be more timely, Marie. I’ve been in a quandary about this very topic. Like Tamara #1, I wish there was more details on Friendness or Bizship Management. I am 100% with you on an abundance mentality and 200% with you on the tide that raises all boats.

    I have a long-term friend/colleague who I’ve kept a professional distance with for a long time. I worked for her a couple times, long ago. Afterwards, I told her I didn’t want to work with her again. Nothing terrible happened, just not how I wanted to work and I didn’t want to mix friendship with business.

    Recently, I’ve entered interactions with her with an open heart and mind and left with a serious sense of unease each time. I trust my gut, my intuition serves me well. Turns out this colleague was creating a competing product to one I had described to her. I had no clue until her launch. She has every right to create her own work and her offering is far different in shape and scope than what I am planning and have yet to execute. There is most definitely room for both products in our field. I fully cop to my failure to launch (so far).

    I have no sour grapes about her product itself. I wish her and her company tons of success. Business-wise and intellectually, I am all right. Emotionally and personally, I realized how strange and tenuous the friendship had been for a long time. We had drifted apart.

    You are completely, 300% right that how we each react is entirely our choice. We live under the myth that friendships are forever. They do change with time, circumstance, distance, experience. I look at my current support system and thankful for all those who’ve got my back. It’s sticky, as Tamara #2 said. A messy, gray area, but some friendships don’t serve us for the long haul. And Friendship Exit Interviews aren’t the norm.

    Long story short, I believe in both abundance *and* healthy boundaries. I love Ida’s comment about the RHHLive lovefest. I hope tons of friendship and alliances were formed last weekend. And that we each have our own intuition and wisdom to know who has your back.

    • marie

      Hey Brandy! Thank you for sharing your story and your desire for even more info on this subject. If you take a peek back up in the comments, you’ll see my reply to Tamara with a few more ideas. As I shared with her – please send your specific question/situation to info@marieforleo.com. If there’s enough demand for more info on this, I’m happy to cover it from a few different perspectives. Thanks!

  30. marie

    Thanks Timothy and I’m glad you enjoy it here!

  31. This was so timely. I just printed out a letter seeking an apprenticeship with a local designer. I last approached them 6 months ago and was told that it wasn’t a good time because the previous apprentice has just started a competitive line of product. Your video gives me the ammunition that I need to have the dialogue.

    Million thanks!!

  32. WOW. This hits home with me immensely.

    I teach commercial voice acting. In 2004-2007, I worked for a wonderful voiceover coach/teacher. We parted ways in 2007 (no bad blood, she just was paying me money that she wanted to invest elsewhere). I joined another company, and eventually started doing my own voiceover coaching. She and I aren’t really in touch anymore.

    For years, I’ve had an uncomfortable fear of stepping on my old teacher’s toes. I teach my own material, but I’d internalized my teacher’s work so much over the years that I was worried I would inadvertently rip her off. So, if I found myself bringing up a concept using HER words, I’d mention her name, and try to give credit where credit was due. And I also mentioned names of other coaches that I’d learned from.

    I liked mentioning other voiceover coaches, because I felt it actually built my credibility to tell my students that I’m one of several options that they can go with, instead of telling them that I’m the only game in town. I’ve had students go to another coach that I referred them to, only to come back to me in the end. And I’m sure I’ve had other students who found a better fit elsewhere–which is great! I want those students to succeed too. It never occurred to me that I was thinking in terms of “abundance” as opposed to “scarcity” in these matters, it just seemed like the smart and honest way to work with people.

    But my question is this. I WANT TO give my old teacher credit. But I WOULD NEVER want to unethically USE her name or her copyrighted material as a selling point of my own coaching. Does that make sense? Marie, you like to mention authors and books you’ve learned from. You quote their copyrighted material, but you always attribute the material. BUT, I’m sure you wouldn’t want one of your former students/colleagues to start a site or write a book (without you) called “Learn Marie Forleo’s secrets for business and personal success!” That’s what non-disclosure agreements are for. So where do I draw the line?

    For example, is it OK to mention my coach’s name in my bio? It’s not like she (who’s been in the business since 1971) needs a newbie like me to pay homage to her. Wikipedia says, “Name-dropping is the practice of mentioning important people or institutions within a conversation, story, song, online identity, or other communication. The term often connotes an attempt to impress others; it is usually regarded negatively, and under certain circumstances may constitute a breach of professional ethics.”

  33. Gotta give a SHOUT OUT to the sisterhood. 🙂 Love you Marie and LOVE reading the comments from the other ladies.

    I took a very brave step yesterday and went and gave my new product to one of the members for the Dragon’s Den (Canadian version of Shark Tank) and now today to read: “Your playing small doesn’t serve the world” confirms that bold rocks.

    I can do this…

  34. Thanks for covering this topic Marie – 5 years ago, I presented a business idea to 3 friends & for a year we developed the business plan together. I was unemployed at the time so took on the majority of research and design. 2 of the friends dropped out for various reasons (one already had her own business & too much going on with her family, the other was moving to Africa with her job). My best friend (of 15 years) and I continued developing our products and ideas. We then started with a coach to help us finalize our business plan and at the end of the coaching sessions realized that neither of us had our hearts and souls still committed to the company we had planned to launch. It ended there and then. Within a month my best friend stopped calling/communicating with me. I got her one day on the phone and asked what was up and she said “we’ve gone down different paths I don’t want to continure our friendship”. I was devastated. And angry. How could she blah, blah, blah. What I came to realize was that the ending of that friendship was a blessing and it freed me to really follow my true path as an artist. Even when things seem to go badly, there’s something in the unseen working it’s magic for us. Just gotta TRUST. Tahnks for your weekly dose – love it!

  35. What a fabulous Q & A today, Marie! Thank you for the reminder that there is more than enough business to go around. I still catch myself in that lack mentality sometimes, but I’m aware of it now and it’s getting easier to shift out of that when I catch myself. 😉

    Great tips, thank you! 🙂

  36. Marie, Thank you for yet another brilliant answer! I loved today’s Q&A! I am a life coach and have my own life coach and you would think we are in competition, but we’re not. We each have our own specialty and our own personality. I love the idea of getting rid of lack and limitation. The more there is for you the more for me! My thoughts and words have power!
    http://www.your-best-lifecoaching.com/blog/2011/09/29/Conquer-Your-Mind-Conquer-Your-Life.aspx

  37. You might not believe this, but just last night I was asking the same question (sort of) because my boyfriend (of all people) was jealous of a small success. Here’s the story.
    We went to a seminar on Saturday (small consolation for missing rhhlive) and yesterday I had a flood of requests to connect with people over coffee, and 1 client booking. Instead of being happy for me, he said 2 strange things, “Why can’t I come with you to the coffee meetings?” and “Why are they calling you, not me!”
    I went through this crazy range of emotions, and realized this was truly playing on some of my own beliefs re: lack & limitation. And then I asked him if we could be happy for each other when as we go through growth spurts. He graciously saw my point – lucky me!
    Doing the work 🙂 ~ Loralee

  38. Hi Marie,

    This one of my fave quotes but I love the prequel to what you posted “Who are you NOT to be brilliant, etc…, You are child of God.”

    To be quite honest this is a tide that rises and falls regularly in life. At 27 I’ve already had a number of personal success but the pond always gets a little bit wider with bigger fish surrounding me. Right now I’m just over-coming all of those put myself under a barrel fears because, well I don’t like causing people pain. The fear says, ‘you see if you succeed you will hurt the people who want your success and can’t have it’.

    But this quote reminds me that that line of thinking doesn’t help nobody. So, it’s time to ride the this wave, because I have a feeling its coming quickly.

    So glad to here that the RHH event went well. Right now I’m making the sacrifices I need to have real success in the future, so I couldn’t make it this year. – BUT I’m just over the Hudson so I’ll be keeping an eye on any upcoming NYC events you hold 🙂

    Happy October!

  39. Thanks for the reminder about scarcity and the impact that self imposed limitations can have on all our thinking.

    I like to think of life in terms of ‘and’ rather than ‘or’.

    Ciao

    Rosemary

  40. Marie!!!

    OMG I am loving this topic and of course I love the tweetable!! Such a common topic that comes up for many of us and I think setting boundaries is so important and so far I am loving doing business with friends!!!

    Thanks for sharing this topic and I am still buzzing from this weekend at RHH Live thank you for all that you do!! You are truly changing lives!!!

    xo

  41. Cassie

    Hi Marie,
    I don’t have anything to add in addition to the comments left by your other readers. I did want to say, though, that RHH Live, was absolutely incredible! I had an unbelievable time, and feel a much greater sense of calm, focus, and direction now. The pigeons are there, but I’m not letting them get me down. Thank you and your team so much from the bottom of my heart!

  42. Hi Marie & Hi Diane

    Great Q & Great A!

    This topic is one that I have had 1st hand experience with. A few years back, I was working and friends with a woman who introduced me to incredible new things. And that was the dynamic from the start. I was still finding my expression…

    And so of course, as I embraced the tools she showed me, and grew into myself, passions & truth, the dynamic which we originally set up, no longer was working. The more I stepped into ‘me’, the more her role of being my ‘teacher’ and ‘above me’, wasn’t working for either of us.

    My discovery was that no one is above anyone else. That may be easy to se that you shouldn’t put yourself in the ‘above role’, but yes… the same applies for the ‘below’ role too! So, I had a bumpy exit from that situation and I needed to learn this lesson with no room for doubt!

    Since then, my one driving question is, “Is this me?”

    (I answer this in my body!)

    If yes, then I have to trust and take the steps. It’s no longer reliant on how it affects other people’s ‘role’. We are all unique and even if we all had exactly the same training and parents and clothes, we would still all be different! (Thank goodness!)

    SO, thank you Marie, for sharing “Go forth and be bold in you” (and drop the doubts & voices that say you should…. because they are a nifty trick to keep you in old patterns.)

    It was a magical experience to witness the A to this Q in bounded action this weekend. You interact with your people- family with such powerful softness. Truly, offering your honest words to support them to fly. The fears of ‘not enough’, are dying out amongst us all. And you boldly act on that trust in everything you do and it’s so beautiful to watch.

    No one could leave the room without being engulfed in that passion and love and sucked into their own unique power. And that ACT of this, is what is real. And you do.

    It’s really happening- we are all making it a reality, to rise together.

    Thank you from the infinite dot in the center of my heart 🙂

    Off to spin the wheel…

    Laura
    xoxo

  43. Marie – Thank you SO much for all the work you do. You’re authentic and that creates a warm feeling of trust inside my whole body whenever I watch you. Great advice as always. I find too, that when these little nigglies start percolating under the surface, when ASS-umptions start being made, often some good old fashioned truth talk can clear a whole bunch of things up in a short amount of time. I remind myself that “what’s right for me is right for everyone” and I always ask ‘etherically’ for the most benevolent outcome for all concerned. 🙂 If I’m feeling super sensitive about the conversation, it’s usually because I have some personal work that needs attending too and the other party has bravely played their role to bring things up to the surface for me. Once I’ve ‘cleaned up’ I find that there is smooth sailing ahead. (BTW, loved the point about rising tide!) Have a beautiful day and congrats on RHH Live – enjoy some well deserved rest and celebration. xoxoxo

  44. Hi Marie!

    You are so authentic and I enjoy learning from your Q & A each and every week. Thanks for being you and serving up your goods so creatively!!! I’m very inspired even more so to find my authenticity by observing you. I am in 2 different mastermind programs for my biz now so I couldn’t do RHH LIVE this year… bummed I missed it. I am definitely IN next year! I wanted to say that I started my first business when I was 21 (I am now 32) and for around 8 years I worked with friends and they became family to me. I actually ended marrying someone who was a manager of mine as well. I have a different perspective because I lived it and I can tell you that it can work and work well but it is by no means easy. You need to set up boundaries, hold each other accountable to NOT speaking about work after ‘work’ hours (hard when you are an entrepreneur) and to not be afraid to hold someone in their ‘power’ that you care about. There were some challenges when I didn’t allow friends that I worked with to play small when they wanted to and it was hurting our biz. I have since moved on to my current biz, which is my purpose/passion, much better!! When I look back, I felt like I couldn’t grow personally in a biz with my husband and I didn’t enjoy working together. After that biz was taken out of the dynamic of our relationship and conversations it was very apparent what a stress it was on both of us and our partnership. Much love. xo

  45. Yeah, Marie!

    Collaboration, not competition. A fellow organizer and I have referred business to each other when we were not the right fit or one was unavailable at the time a client needed an organizer.

    There IS enough to go around.

    The willingness to share invites abundance.

  46. You are spot on here – win-win is possible!
    But business with friends means at some point you will have to decide between your friend and money. My best friend invested in my business but one day decided she needed the money for a home repair. Because she’s a friend she thought she could break our contract and take her money back at will. I gave her the money, she was a good enough friend that it was worth it. But you have to be prepared to make some tough calls if you mix business and friendship.

  47. Hey Marie,
    As always a great post and a bangin’ tweetable:) I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this http://bit.ly/tYjN0c

    Perfectionism: Positive or Negative quality?
    xx,
    Amelia

  48. I was that mentor, and it hurt to be surpassed. It hurt for 15 years, and it ruined our friendship. It took me until RHHLIVE, and the insightful women friends I met there, to break through and not just know, but FEEL that there is room for us all….and in fact it is NECESSARY that we all find our authentic, unique voice and speak with that.

  49. Bada Bing!

    So great to see pics from RHH Live last weekend:) So inspirational + so on my vision board for 2012. Great Q + A. Even though my heart + voice tremble at times, I live by these rules during pleasure + business:

    Be Honest – This doesn’t mean, be brutal, spike your drink time – no one likes clever or slimey; if your honesty is not embraced, do not take it personally – the person on the other side may not be ready to hear or handle the truth. But do not own that guilt.

    Share – there is plenty of ‘Genius’ to go around.

    Be Authentic – Stay anchored in who you are + what your purpose is; no one can take away your authenticity. And my authenticity never lets me down!

    “One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.”
    Carl Jung

  50. hanna

    Yor are so cool! I love waching you!

  51. This is so timely.
    It’s much more important to collaborate with, learn from, and challenge each other and in the process do super-awesome things instead of being afraid and thinking that there’s only one good idea in the world!

    Thank you

  52. Lucienne

    Business and friends – picked up on two great points – thank yourmentor/friend
    and then share the greater heights you may reach. Non joyful for your successes = jealousy = inability to share. Again, say thank you and move on to even greater heights and make sure you keep sharing.

  53. Thank you Marie – As always, a very interesting, thoughtful, useful and entertaining Q&A! It is so impressive how sometimes, our biggest enemy is within ourselves. Lack and Limitations… no more, thank you! I just needed someone to make me realize that I was swimming in these negative and limiting patterns.. Finally, I did it! I chose courage over fear, I chose to move forward, go on with my business and took some risks… including the one to loose a friend. In fact, I did only what my inner voice was pushing me to do, and unfortunately, sometimes it can brake some eggs… but that’s life… and her choice.

  54. Laura

    I started my first business when I was 11 years old and it became successful enough that I needed to hire help about 3 months in. Who else does an 11 year old have available to hire but friends. It was an important learning experience. I had to stop being ‘friend’ while working. After I firmly established I was boss I got the ‘Jan’ I needed and friend ‘Marcia” was only showing up at slumber parties and the like. So it worked. As a teen I found myself in business with a friend as ‘equals’. Insanity. I can’t even imagine working on an equal basis with anyone again because two heads might be better than one but with two bosses you have a nightmare. In my experience equal does not exist when power or money is involved. Not long-term. However, a short term partnership, say 3 to 5 years, with well drawn lines and a solid exit plan will help you both get launched. Helping each other with the others business is almost ideal if the lines are drawn clearly and early enough. Forget thinking friendship offers any safety net. Remember, reality is your friend.

  55. Love this video. My term for intuition that says, “yes” with fear = scary fabulous! As I move with it, the fabulous (idea) wins. Then I really know it’s right – for me and the universe. XO

  56. Hi Marie,
    Love your message “Your success can never hurt anyone around you”!
    I started my business solo, by gradually built a friendship and partnership with a colleague. Through this, we’re building an awesome project and business, both bringing different strengths and inspiration. It’s fantastic working with people and developing friendships and relationships… and with a productive mindset, we all want success for all, and we can all achieve it!
    Thanks for the massive inspiration you provide! Love your work!
    Justine

  57. Hello Marie,

    I had a similiar issue in the beginning with someone that I thought was a mentor and friend. I brought her in on a project as a equal partner. She went behind my back to bid more work with the client I brought to the table. We installed security systems for schools. I didn’t want to have anything else to do with her after that. I couldn’t trust her. The funny thing was all the schools her company did after the one we did together was really bad. The installers cheater her out of her money and didn’t install the systems properly. I learned quite a few lessons about agreements I should have had in place. Even if they are your friend always keep it “business”. Plan how you will divorce before you marry, so to speak. And remember, whatever you put out there, will come back.

    Much love,

    Tonya

  58. Great Q & A! Love the humor & thanks for sharing on Bizsugar.com

  59. What happens when rising tides don’t raise all ships? I had a friend who I was all open with and helped and she did exceptionally well I was thrilled, when I needed her help – she frankly left me out to dry, saying she expected better from me (Look my cape was in the cleaners that day – sue me) So I walked, with that kind of friend, right? Now mutual associates are calling for me to bury the hatchet – and I’m like the one in my back? I’m cool on that. Am I wrong?

  60. Carrie Dale

    Amen. That’s all I have to say. Nailed it again Marie!!!

  61. Flow

    Ah…. what a relief to hear, Marie. When I saw the question, I will admit that I tightened up a bit… because there is SO much conventional wisdom that tells you: don’t mix friends with business. I have heard that many times, but find it near impossible to do…. because I have found that I love working with people I like, and inevitably we become… friends. Your message conveys great advice, to keep the boundaries clear, and go ahead and enjoy working with the people love working with! Yay!

  62. this is video is really answering one of my big questions
    i’m walking on the same way as the woman who give opportunity to find my place and i’m also on a process to go further
    and it’s true that it could be hard to deal with and how will she and people around us will react
    but at least i’m creator of my life and like you say there is plenty and enough for everyone

    when you shine you give light to people, don’t think your burn them

  63. Riya

    Hey Marie. Firstly I want to congratulate you for creating such a great show for us. Thank you so much. I absolutely adore your posts. I’ve a question for you and I’ll be very grateful if you could answer it for me on one of your Q& A Tuesday.
    How to manage people effectively and not get influenced by their comments and mere advises? How to concentrate on your goal when these kind of people are a part of your life(like family) and they somehow distract you by saying or doing things you don’t like? Should I ignore them or should I deal with them in a different way?
    Thanks a ton Marie.

  64. I’ve run into this dilemma in my career over and over again. And I think it can be especially tricky for women. Nice to see someone finally talking about it!

  65. Definitely love the comments section. Way to go, Laura Belgray and Marie! Just love you two!

  66. Carolyn Castro-Donlan

    Great advise! I love the comment exchange and the positive energy of your updates etc – thank you!

  67. You can adopt their styles to suit yours; this is one of the
    best ways to determine the right fashion for you.
    The Unitron website includes detailed description of
    the features and benefits from this product. 1990’s – Bra became a
    highlight on women’s wardrobe.

  68. DNN

    I wouldn’t do that. It’s better to push out family and friends b/c they may not have the same “side hustle millionaire” vision like you. Better in most cases to work alone. 🙂

Let us know what you have to say:

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *