Marie Forleo introduction


I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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Sharing who you are, what you believe, and why you’re in business is vitally important. No doubt about it.

But can being “the real you” alienate potential customers?

For example, does being openly gay turn off prospective fans who are outside of the the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) community?

Today’s Q&A video touches on this important topic in modern business: how to balance being the real you without alienating would-be customers.

In this video, we’ll talk about the “spotlight” concept that helps you stay focused on what’s truly important in your business, without hiding any part of who you are.

But first, a warning.

In this video, you’ll see me sing and dance.  While some may call me a fancy dancer, I’m not much of a singer.

You were warned.

Since this is quite a juicy topic, here’s a bit more to chew on that I just couldn’t squeeze into this five minute video.

1.  Get clear on the primary aim of your business.

What exact problems and frustrations are you solving for customers? What concrete results are you helping your clients get? What exactly are people handing you money for?

Sarah’s business, Queer Vegan Food, is about featuring, as she calls it, weird vegan recipes you won’t find on other blogs.

She focuses on unique recipes to expand vegan culinary beyond traditional vegan cuisine which tends to imitate the non-vegan world (think fake meat, vegan ice cream, etc.).

Sarah’s promoting a healthy, plant-based lifestyle that prevents cruelty towards animals and helps the planet.  And, she’s got a fantastic name with Queer Vegan Food.

But remember, the primary focus of her business is on recipes and veganism, not on being LGBT.

Her potential clients and fans are coming to her for unique vegan recipes that you can’t find anywhere else.

2.  Get clear on who you are selling to.

I’d say Sarah’s ideal customer is someone who is eager to adopt a more healthy lifestyle and who is passionate about veganism.

They could be eager to jump into the vegan world, or they may already be vegan and want more unique, healthy and non-imitation type recipes.

While I’m sure she has many fans in the LGBT community, she’ll have loads and loads of heterosexual fans too.

But with a name like Queer Vegan Food (which is brilliant because it’s arresting, fun, controversial, descriptive and uber memorable), let’s be real here.

Of course she’s going to alienate people… people who are not open to the vegan or LGBT lifestyle!

And those folks, by definition, are not going to mesh well with Sarah anyway. They have different core values and beliefs.

Being honest about this fact allows Sarah to focus on exactly who she wants to reach and not get hung up worrying about “alienating” those who aren’t a good fit for her business anyway.

3.  Get over wanting everyone to like you.

This is essential for all of us to remember if we want to be happy and successful.

Not everyone will not like you. And all potential customers are not your customer.

The faster you get over wanting everyone to like you, the greater difference you will make to those who do.

As the saying goes, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Here’s what I’d like you to do next.

In the comments below, tell me how you can apply the “spotlight” concept in your business.

Remember, it’s important to share your beliefs and values. And your customer should get the majority of the spotlight.

Of course, if you have anything else to add on this topic (not my singing :)), I’d love to hear it.

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  1. Hey Marie,

    Great video (as usual!) and great tips! I love your spotlight analogy too! My “A” to your “Q” is that I need to get more clear on determining who my ideal clients are. My ideal clients are soooooo broad (creatives – such as musicians and artists), to small local businesses and nonprofits organizations, AND MORE! So I’m still figuring this out. The common thread is I want to create sites and do internet marketing [lessons] and biz tips for folks who are intimidated by it – by making it easy to digest through stories and analogies (and later on – tutorial videos).

    I get a broad range of clients though – lots of people who want someone to make things simple to understand, and would rather outsource their headaches than get stuck tryna figure it out, to ministers, to real estate agents. So uh, yeah lol.

    The thing that makes me unique is that I’m a weirdo (not in a creepy way…well, at least not THAT creepy…), I like music, I like to crack cheesy jokes and throw in a little Bible lesson or biblical principals (not in a preachy way) without shoving God in their face. I’m not a judgmental Christian, but it’s a part of who I am and affects errythang I do. So your spotlight example was very helpful in me trying to navigate my niche.

    Thanks girl! You are HIGH-larious!

    • marie

      Awesome Thea! And my suggestion is to keep helping people with your easy to understand lessons. You may find that your focus is really helping small business owners and independent creatives get over their online-tech headaches. In short – keep going and it will become clear 🙂

      • Thanks Marie 🙂

    • Hi Marie,
      This video was great.
      I have watched quite a few of your posts and love the theme of singing and theatricals!
      You should check out my website for singing lessons or adult choir…YOU are my perfect audience 😉
      Thanks for all the pearls of wisdom and giggles!

  2. Great video and lessons! I love your use of the spotlight analogy, and I think it’s true. It’s definitely something that I think is important to remember in business. For example, I am a copywriter for fashion businesses, so the majority of what I blog about is in some direct relation to that, which I think is of some use to fashion designers and independent businesses (whether it’s a theory on fashion or a thought on marketing). But obviously, that’s not the whole of who I am. Every once in a while, I write or reference something outside of the realm of fashion. Sometimes there’s a point – sometimes it’s just because I feel like it. I do that quite a bit – but when I blog I am conscious of who is reading it as well as of the fact that I need to attract clients to work with me through my blog. So for me, it’s all about keeping it client and service-oriented without having to hide behind a facade.

    Also, I am so over trying to get everyone to like me. In the earlier stages of my business, my website didn’t feel like “me” and as a result I attracted a lot of clients which I didn’t really jive with. Now that my website is more “me”, I feel like I’m making a bigger difference and actually doing better work. Cool how things work, eh?

  3. Hi Marie,

    This was a great QandA.. I think you are right about being ture to yourself is absolutely right, I also believe that putting the spotlight on your customer needs and problems should a business first and foremost focus.

    If who you are is your business, then make sure the niche is big enough. If you are passionate about the New York bus timetable… the niche might not be very profitable… but if you focus on your customers problem: how to get to work on time… you could use your bus passion as a service while selling sms bus-timetable messages… here to focus should be on how you can help them get to work on time… not the bus timetable.


  4. Getting specific about who your customer is the hardest thing to do, but it makes growing your online business so much easier! Thanks Marie x

  5. Marie, thanks muchly for another fab Q&A Tuesday.
    I like the spotlight concept. I’m a fine artist painting abstracts and struggle with how to navigate my art as both my life and a business.
    My spotlight would be on collectors who want colorful art for their walls. They want to create an environment and space that is colorful and inspiring.
    The challenge for me is to create work that is an authentic reflection of me, my values and beliefs. Which include being a creative, a Christian and a lover of crazy colours and introspective abstract art. So I guess I’ll focus on creating work that will brighten my ideal collectors spaces while not worrying or hiding my values and beliefs.

    It’s hard to ignore haters and not taking rejection personally!

    • Deborah King

      Brenda, your work is intriguing and beautiful; love your website.

  6. Amy

    So true! I seems like the same goes for social media as far as the “spotlight”. Everyone is touting their pictures, links, products and services instead of focusing on their customers’ needs and wants, no?

    • I agree Amy. I love Laura Roeder’s advice for social media – and that is to have conversations with your customers to build relationships and find ways to help them.

      Great post, as always Marie (+girls!). Nice moves and thanks for the reminder that we’re all perfect right here and right now. Love it. 🙂

  7. Sweet movies, ladies!

    This part really spoke to me: “Get over wanting everyone to like you.”

    Just a few short months ago, I would get sad whenever someone unsubscribed from my list. Now I know that unsubscribes are a sign that I’ve gotten super-targeted with my marketing. Schhhhwing!

    • Great point Amanda, can totally identify with that!

      • Marie, such a cool and much needed topic to cover. Love that you really promote being yourself rather than squishing yourself into someone else’s idea of what you should be. Such a waste of time and energy to be anything other than our beautiful selves!
        So funny that you danced to Born This Way because after doing B-School the first time round, you inspired me to create my own first music video and it is to Born This Way because I want my clients and readers to be confident in who they are and make the best of themselves! Nice synchronicity! 🙂
        You can see the video here and have a laugh at my silliness…

  8. Great video Marie and I LOVE the spotlight concept. One thing RHH ladies can remember while shining the spotlight on their customers is there is one place on your website where you can shine it on you – your press page. This is where you can “brag” (in a good way, of course) about your media accolades from magazines, TV appearances, etc. Since the media is booking you as a guest or using you as a source, you have free reign to make this page all about you. However, it also benefits your ideal customers by offering that 3rd party credibility and social proof of a media big shot singing your praises.

    See you at RHH Live! xoxox

    • That’s a fabulous distinction re the press page, thanks Melissa!

  9. I love this: Shine the spotlight on your customer, not on yourself! What a fabulous and simple tip.

    When I heard Marie say “You are perfect just as you are,” I couldn’t resist sharing this video, which has the exact same line.

    And I’m with you, Amanda. Whenever someone unsubscribes, I have a little celebration. I know that they’re honoring themselves and their Inbox, and it simply means they’re not the right person for me.

  10. Yay! I’m free to be me- in my personal life AND my business! Love it.

  11. Oh Mama, I believe you’ll remember a bawling Liz DiAlto, super grateful for “permission” to finally be myself at the end of our Mastermind retreat in Feb. This is huge! My biz has grown in a lot of ways over the last several months because I’m just being me, my info is good sh*t and every time someone unsubscribes from my list or disagrees with me, I LOVE IT…because they’re making room on my bus for people who want to be there. Thank you, thank you…love you.

    • I like the idea of thinking of your customers as riders on your bus. That’s awesome; thanks for sharing, Liz!

      Also, Marie, that video was fabulous. I always look forward to Q and A Tuesdays! Thank you!

    • I, too, LOVE “making room on the bus.” The whole idea of a big adventure, everyone on the bus singing and laughing, is fabulous. On the road! 🙂

  12. Great question, excellent answer and fabulous comments. It’s impossible to try to please everyone so don’t even try. Can you imagine a world where everything is vanilla?

  13. Marie-
    You totally blow me away by your potent analogies– Amazing- the spotlight perspective is an incredible visual to staying on track with your work and message.

    Thank you!!

    xo, Lisa

  14. Hi Marie,

    I love all your videos, but especially this one. Such a ‘right on’ message. Getting over that ingrained thought that ‘everyone must like you’ has been helped immensely by your words and the way you said it. Really jazzed up my day. Thank you!
    As the founder of a new audio book production company, I can identify with Sarah. I actually have two businesses, one specifically for the L in GLBT and one more mainstream. I have been worried about folks in the mainstream business finding out about my role in the other one, but you have beautifully, and entertainingly, shown me that it is oh-so-important to be myself, embrace the goodness in me, and let those that don’t jive with that, move on to their own good place. I know this message, but it is great to be reminded of it once in awhile. Thank you, thank you.
    (Love the outtake on the end. Keep on singin’ and dancin’. Lady Gaga would be proud! )

  15. Marie!
    You have a NICE voice :). Love the out-take at the end and the robot comment – too funny.
    My biggest take-away is the ‘spot-light’ analogy – I can see how it’s easy to put the spotlight on ourselves – almost as a default. I think the key to the success of my biz ‘HUBSTER’ will be to always – above everything else – focus on MY CUSTOMERS NEEDS! Thanks for the reminder! (Has anyone told you that you’re very smart… :))
    Thanks for lighting up my inbox!

  16. Hi Marie,

    Great analogies here. What I’d like to add is that regardless of where you shine your spotlight, there is still a place you’re shining it FROM! That place should be as solid and clear as possible, otherwise the spotlight “dances” just a bit too far away from center stage, where you want your right people to be.

    Does this make sense? I’d love to hear your thoughts on that!

    Thanks for shining *your* light too 🙂

    • osun

      That absolutely makes sense! So powerful and important…

    • That totally makes sense… in a deep and meaningful marketers’ way! Love it, thank you!

  17. Dear Marie,
    I find this a little bit confusing. If I should share MY beliefs and values, how can I, at the same time, focus on the costumer? It’s like paying attention to both at the same time. What you are saying is that I should APPLY my beliefs and values to my costumer’s problems? I’m telling you this because today I wanted to help a friend. I was traying to share with here my beliefs, inspirations and tools in order for her to see that her problems had a solution. However, at the end of the conversation, I couldn’t avoid feeling like I talked to much about me and, to be honest, I don’t know if I helped her or not.

    I suppose many business fail on this because is easy to get lost at the “me-me-me talk”. Like: “this are my values, my beliefs, my work, my family, my friends, my life, my, my, my…” and they forget the second part o the sentence: “… now tell me, how can I help you?”. I think that’s just what happend to me today. Lesson learned!! 🙂

    From now on I won’t forget the second part of the sentence.


  18. This is a great question and one that bears a conversation. I think the biggest challenge for entrepreneurs is trying to make everyone like and accept us so we don’t turn anyone against us.

    As I personally grow as an entrepreneur, it’s fun to come out of my shell more and more and share more of my personality and attract like people. But as you said, Marie, there’s a fine line. You want to attract like people, but still stay true to yourself, your mission and your message.

    The Ellen D. analogy was brilliant. We know who she is without her throwing it up in our faces everyday…we simply turn to her for her talent and that is what’s so critical to us entrepreneurs!

  19. This is a great tip! I really liked this question because I follow both Sarah and her gf on twitter and I think they have wonderful knowledge and passion to add to this vegan/queer/health communities.

    Not alienating people is something that I really value and try to practice in my business (especially on my website). I’m a health coach, and I’m vegan, but you’ll very rarely ever see me mention the latter on my website. That’s because most of the people that I’m trying to reach want to feel healthier, have more energy, lose weight, etc., but the idea of having to become vegan to do that would scare a lot of my potential clients away! I really liked the reinforcement that I’m doing the right thing here.

    Thanks for a great post as always, Marie!

  20. Brilliant piece Marie! It can be wicked hard to shift focus off of yourself when you’re in the thick of running your business and working hard to make ends meet with it. Balancing the need to keep profitable while being of service to your customers/clients. It can be pretty hard to keep that spotlight steady and laser focused so thank you for the reminders!

    As a follow up to this I’ll ask: can you share too much? And is it really about “too much” vs the quality of the content? I’ve been working on a blog post for over a month now and I keep getting snagged because it ties into racial identity, stereotypes, inequalities, perceptions, etc; that’s a whole kettle of fish to open, especially here in the US. It could take a post about curly hair and head it into a social-political stream of conversation that I’m leery of jumping into even though it means a great deal to me personally… so yeah, I’m stuck. Any thoughts?

    Thanks and as always, you rock! 🙂

  21. As always Marie, you continue to amaze me! RHH B-School is still paying dividends and the three points you make above continue to be top of mind. I love the way you have described shining the spotlight on your customer rather than oneself. This was tricky when I got started because I am a workplace and life-transition coach and I thought “I am selling me, I am my brand” and so I thought people needed to know who I was. Of course they do, but what they first want to know is how do I help them solve their most pressing problems. I am happy to say that I am in the process of making the changes I have learned about in your Q&A vids and in B-School. I now understand that the most successful businesses focus on their clients first. As service providers though, especially when providing a fairly intimate service like coaching, I think the very next question is “who are you? do we share similar philosophies and worldviews? do I like you? how are you different from all the others who offer coaching?” It makes me think that a good corollary to today’s video is when and and how to focus on who is shining the spotlight? Love to hear what you think.

  22. I think that if you’re someone, you’re going to alienate someone. It’s easier to be no one. There are always going to be folks that are going to discriminate because let’s face it, discrimination kept us alive for eons. We knew when folks were not like us, they were more than likely to be strangers—and hence trouble.

    Being openly gay is going to put some people off. And you’re going to get arrows, but you’re also going to get bouquets. As long as you have your armour on as you ride into battle, you should be OK 🙂

  23. I too love Ellen. In a world that said “you can’t be who you are and be successful” Ellen rose from the bitter ashes of being ostracized, one authentic act of courage at a time. Her courage to be kind. Her courage to be authentic. Her courage to stay the course on a road paved with judgment, alienation and hardship. She is a truly inspirational woman. Thanks Marie!

  24. Get over having everyone like you…yeah, that’s a big one I think we all face. You can’t please anyone, so why try! It took me having a baby to get over feeling ashamed if I wasn’t cool enough, or whatever enough. I used to have a big problem with this, but finally I’m okay with someone NOT getting me.

    Just like Liz Dialto writes above, it makes space for people who DO get and need my message!

  25. Marie…YOU ROCK!

    Thank you for all that you do as well…not only do you kick it but you speak the truth.

    I love your sweet moves too!

    Sparklingly Yours,
    Amanda Jane 🙂

  26. Rhonda

    Amen! I’m in the church of Marie!!! Oh how I needed this one today. Here’s to attracting your right people. And to think I was about to cancel an event. Just needed this video. Thank you!

  27. Love what Liz & Anne have “spotlighted”!!!!

    It makes space for people who DO get and need your message.

    And LOVE you!

  28. Love the “spotlight” analogy! I also love the reminder that you have to alienate people – the more people you alienate means the more people will root for you, right? Whenever I’ve tried to please everyone, my content comes out as BLAND!

  29. Hahaha – I had the Guardian newspaper interview me last year and it attracted some negative comments on their website.

    I found myself trying to think of the perfect response that would make those people see that I was a nice person. Then it hit me – I could do this for the rest of my life and there would still be people on the internet who don’t like me!

    Ding, ding!

  30. Marie, so useful! Thank you for the video, and thank you for re-sending – because I hadn’t gotten it 🙂

  31. Good Marie – as always!

    Focus on the client and the rest will follow. Give before we receive – and give some more 🙂



    If Sarah wants to promote more of herself perhaps that could be done on a separate blog.

  32. Cam

    great answer as usual. I agree with everything you said. When hearing the letter my first thought was that if she was alienating people, then they weren’t HER people. People who connect with her message won’t care about the other stuff.

  33. Such an amazing video Marie. There are SO MANY PEOPLE out there who need to hear this message: “Get over wanting everyone to like you.” (including me!) and I’m so grateful to you for continuing to share your wisdom and self with us! xo

  34. I love this video Marie – and seeing you all dancing like you just don’t care! 🙂

    I think I’m developing a bit of “honey badger” in terms of not trying to get everyone to like me. It’s not about getting everyone to like you, naturally that’s just not possible. 🙂

    Great advice as always Marie, it’s time to shine the spotlight on my customers!

  35. Ok that was stinkin hilarious. The dancing wasn’t bad either!

  36. Perfect synchronicity – I’d just discovered Sarah on Twitter and my partner and I both went “Ting!” when we saw “Queer Vegan Food” because we’re two women who love each other and love being vegan. So yes, Sarah’s ‘Tribe’ will definitely be magnetised to her – as we have been 🙂

  37. Love the advice! Few more questions to ask oneself:
    1. Am I the brand or is my business the brand? In other words, Oprah (the personality TV talk show host) was the brand. Advertisers followed Oprah because she had a lot of eyeballs. On the other hand, Apple is the brand, not Steve Jobs. Apple products is the emphasis, not Steve Jobs. Two famous people with two different business models. One is selling a personality, the other is selling products.

  38. Great advice. There’s nothing worse than trying to be everything to everyone!

    Changing yourself to try to be what others want takes away the biggest asset you have in creating influence with others – you.

  39. Sooo love the spotlight analogy! I’m on a pendulum, being too MUCH me and now too LITTLE me, like Goldilocks, I need to find a juuuuust right me 😉

    But action seems to be the key. The more I write, the more I see the response, and then I can gauge what’s actually connecting and helping people.


  40. Love you, Marie. Such spot on advice…thank you!!!

  41. Marie ~

    What a great message! I love the whole shine the spotlight on your ideal customers and be of service to them (such an important biz nugget!), also I love that you said “get over everyone liking you” amazing advice. I have gotten some negative feedback about certain things and I like to think of it as I have “arrived” lol not everyone is going to like you but if you provide kick A$$ service to your ideal clients that is the most important thing that matters!

    Thank you for your Q&A videos they are amazing! I love learning from you! xo

  42. Marie you are wild & crazy and damn entertaining. LOVE seeing your emails come into my inbox on Tuesdays. No one can touch you for content and entertainment, not even Frank Kern, Eban and pals girl!

    Your spotlight analogy, hmmm. Our business (dogsled tours) caters to and enjoys hosting clients from a huge demographic from age, country, income level, etc. However maybe focusing tighter would help us target a more select niche and serve it more fully. Well worth exploring, thank you!

  43. Marie,
    Such a great post. I love how you reminded all of us that we serve a specific target and we’re not meant to be the solution for everyone. Certain coaches/business mentors resonate with me and I know the reasons why:

    1. I genuinely feel connected to them
    2. They are speaking the language I need to hear

    Continuing to our ideal clients so they can hear how we can help them has been my goal this summer and it’s exactly what’s creating more connectivity between me and them.

    I know see an unsubscribe as a gift and a lesson at the same time. A lesson to continue to speak directly to my ideal clients and a gift that I can narrow my niche even further.

    Thanks so much Marie!

  44. Right on, it is so important to focus on your business and not your personal life. Everyone has different personal qualities, but in business the most important thing is creating a great product, offering exceptional value, and supporting your customers 100%.

  45. Love this and love the singing and dancing!
    Keep the spotlight on the customer – so simple and so effective.

    I completely agree with your advice Marie… As a straight vegie, it doesn’t bother me in the least whether Sarah is gay and if she pops sexuality into the mix on her website it’s not going to alienate me. As a potential client/customer though, what I really care about is whether she has good recipes and if I lose that amongst all the other messages, I’m unlikely to buy one of her products.

  46. Candy Verdiani

    I just loved the video and the choreography!!! Mary, you’re great!

  47. I have some homework to do. Just in time as I am working on my new website.

  48. Nice A, Lady Marie! Love the part about keeping the spotlight on the customers. As a new blogger, I feel it would be easy to write about myself & my experiences, which may be helpful to others at times, although it is not the main point of my blog. Thanks for this great reminder!

  49. Great vid. I’m definitely finding that the hardest part.. getting over that not everyone is a potential customer!
    I keep thinking..avatar, avatar, avatar!


  50. Olga


    I love your videos.
    Thank you very much for them!

  51. Thanks for this Marie – particularly point 3 about being okay with not everyone liking you. Its extremely pertinent for me today as I received a nasty tweet today from someone who disagrees with me trying to heal myself of cancer naturally. They pretty much said that i wouldnt be around much longer which hurt! So thanks for reminding me that its okay for not everyone to like me. xxx

    • I can’t believe someone said that – that’s kinda… evil.
      Wishing you recovery Polly.

    • Felicity

      What a terrible thing to say! But perhaps they have lost a loved one. We never know anyone else’s stories (just as those who hate us don’t really know ours). x

  52. Hi Marie,
    I loved this post SO much I had to comment! You see, after 10 years of dreaming about it, I am finally opening a yoga and Pilates studio in my home town and this has caused a bit of controversy (I love in very religious Northern Ireland). However, I have finally realised that not everyone will like me or what I’m doing but those who want to stretch their bodies and their minds will flock to me! Thanks for giving me that insight…

  53. stephanie

    Dear Marie, I always LOVE your wisdom and juicy and practical advice! THANKS! – And I have a question: I m training as a classical singer, working on my website, finishing a cd to send to conductors – this is all on its good way 🙂 – till now i have a few concerts, give voice lessons regularly, work as an actress and tour guide and as a nanny from time to time. You see: So many different things! It is TIME to concentrate to the juicy essential. (SINGING! Being able to live from it) Do you have any advice, how I can really FOCUS ON THE CORE and still earn my living? (as the my “singing business” is in the developing, growing state)
    THANK YOU! How cool and enhancing, I found you 🙂 hugs from Switzerland! 🙂

  54. stephanie

    Dear Marie, I always LOVE your wisdom and juicy and practical advice! THANKS! – And I have a question: I m training as a classical singer, working on my website, finishing a cd to send to conductors – this is all on its good way 🙂 – till now i have a few concerts, give voice lessons regularly, work as an actress and tour guide and as a nanny from time to time. You see: So many different things! It is TIME to concentrate to the juicy essential. (SINGING! Being able to live from it) Do you have any advice, how I can really FOCUS ON THE CORE and still earn my living? (as my “singing business” is in the developing, growing state)
    THANK YOU! How cool and enhancing, I found you 🙂 hugs from Switzerland! 🙂

    • stephanie

      you got it twice! obviously it is important! 🙂 x

  55. Thanks Marie! The mark of a power brand is indeed that the fact that they are so in tune with who their ideal client is and appealing to THAT person, that often there are groups of people who DISLIKE the brand. MAny people (not me) hate Starbucks but Starbucks doesn’t care – they care about catering to their core fans, those who want consistency, efficiency and also a third place to connect and meet.

    If there are not people who can’t immediately say, “Ooh, her business is not for me” than you aren’t being specific enough with your brand and your marketing messages.

  56. techie45

    One thing must be sure here. You must be so specific on what you are selling so as not to confuse the market. Customers read anything in your post to see what suits them most. If you are not specific and give much more time to the relevant needs of the potential customer, they will shun away because of your being vague.

  57. I really feel like I’m on the cusp of really showing who I am and yes, I’m prepared that some people will HATE it, but it will be so much more fun.

    Can’t wait for RHH live!


  58. Loved this, Marie. “Be totally, authentically you. Those who matter, won’t mind and those who mind, don’t matter.” 😉
    Love what you do – keep on keepin on!

  59. Thank you Sister Goddess Marie – this was so totally spot ON. Clear and concise and focused – woohoo. Thank you for using Ellen DeGeneres – what a role model she is for we WOmen. Ha ha ha.

  60. Marie, as always you gave great advice. Some of my most respected heroes aren’t loved by everyone and there is nothing wrong with that. Your message is a great reminder that you can have tremendous success without having everyone like you, thank you.

  61. Hey, Marie
    This is my absolute fav Q&A Tuesday!! They are all great-seriously they are!!- however this one really resonated with me and I thank you. Love the point regarding who’s in the spotlight. I live around a lot of artists and craftspeople who will often say that when someone buys your work, they are buying a ‘piece of you’. Being a designer (hat designer/ milliner which means I am an artist, designer and craftsperson) this has always felt unsettling yet again I hear so many people around me insist on their belief I just mentioned. I find this to be A LOT of pressure and bull-shit really. My experience has shown mean that as a businessperson who happens to be an artist, designer and craftsperson…it is about my CLIENTS not me- phewww! Love the Ellen Degeneres analogy- so true! P.S. I LOVE your >3 shirt 🙂

  62. oops was trying to say above ‘your heart (insert symbol here) shirt!’

  63. hanzy florentino

    hi marie 🙂

    i enjoy this video 🙂 thanks for this 🙂

    BORN THIS WAY marie 🙂

  64. My gosh you are so smart. Thanks for sharing your gifts.

  65. “The faster you get over wanting everyone to like you, the greater difference you will make to those who do.”

    Now THAT is a tweetable – love that!

  66. This is another one of those videos I resisted watching cause I knew it had some gem of info that I needed to hear…

    My hang ups comes from being stereotyped by past life choices and it ruining my credibility. What I remind myself is that it isn’t about where I’ve been but where I am now. My unique experiences have served up a lesson to me in some way be it cautionary or otherwise that allows me to present my offerings in a way no one else can. So while I don’t have be be defined by my past, I can still honor it without being stuck there.

    The new frame of business isn’t about a popularity contest, but really serving your audience from an authentic place and spirit.

  67. Kim

    As always Marie…..awesome Q & A!
    I’ve been wondering if there is a correlation between being a successful online business and having a certain percentage of negative responses? We’ve all heard that those who have the most “home runs” also have the most “strike outs” for all their times up to bat… So, does that perhaps work in this situation as well?
    Do you have any idea of what percentage of your correspondence has been negative? Or perhaps this was more likely in the past when you first started? (because I know that once they got to know you…they LOVED you!!)

    Thanks for all your clever and stimulating videos! I am planning on the day that I can come to one of your events and dance with you!

    Until then… keep on bumpin’ and grindin’ …. out those ideas! LOL

  68. Kika

    Very helpful information. Thank you!

  69. lisa

    Thanks for this video. Seriously helpful.

  70. I have only very recently discovered this site… (as in just a few days ago)… and I am DEVOURING these videos and all this advice!! So much of what you say is so relevant to me. For too long I have cared far too much about what people think of me… or what people say about me. For too long, I have been hiding the (crazy! creative! rule-breaking!) person that I am – because I haven’t wanted to offend or alienate. Thanks for putting this into perspective!! 🙂

  71. service, service, service to clients…. my biz is estate jewelry. after head scratching, i’ve determined my best is education — identifying jewelry eras, signs to look for, etc. etc. starting out, i thought i knew a lot, in the scheme of things, i didn’t know squadiddly.
    bonus: education helps customers get over their fears…. yoyo avatar!

    you’re the bombdiggety, marie

  72. You’re a rainbow or a smurf — Love this It’s all about solving the problems of your ideal client. If you alienate someone because you’re being you then he/she is not your ideal client. Thanks, Marie!

    • Thanks Marie for being a blessing to others!
      I wish to serve others too in the future…
      I just want you to know that you are my online companion as i start with my business…online financial adviser for the 20’s and Up!

  73. Great video. I find it hard to focus on my customer ‘avatar’ as I call it. I have two distinctly different areas, I want to help train people how to be better amateur genealogists (researching and citing better, so they can pass their research on) and those people who prefer me to search for their family tree details. Urghhhhh! 🙂

  74. Fun, educational and inspirational… what more could you want. Thanks for the insights and ideas. I am an old dog learning new tricks every day and loving it !
    And you are a brilliant reminder to us all… that we know much of this stuff intuitively we just keep forgetting it, so having you there to push, shove, slap, drag and do whatever it takes to get us up and doing it again is brilliant. Regards, Ron G.

  75. Thank you for reminding me this. True, we should not try to please those who can’t like us.

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