Hey, it's Marie Forleo and you are watching
MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love.
I'm Marie, this is Greg Patterson.
And, if you didn't know, Greg's the one who
does this hair and we happen to be really
And when we do call-in shows like this, we
like to hang out.
It's a good time.
It's a good time.
So, let's do this.
Hi, is this Betsie?
Yes, it is.
Hey, it's Marie Forleo and you are on our
live call-in show.
How you doing, woman?
I don't think I could be better right now.
You're my hero, so.
Oh great, well I wanted to tell you, you're
here with myself, all of Team Forleo and Greg
Patterson is right here next to me.
So, tell us your question and we will do our
best to help you out.
Alright, I'm up, okay.
So, I am a self-employed artist.
My medium is oil paints.
And, I have a 3-1/2 year old.
Her name's Olive, and I have a husband who
has his own business, which is really taking off.
He's about two years in so he works a lot.
And, we have a dog, a cat, a house, a yard,
all the things.
We live in Boise, Idaho.
So, life's busy.
I create my paintings for juried fine art
fairs, so I have to travel to those.
I can only do a couple, two or three a summer,
given my husband's schedule.
So, anyway, my line of work takes me...
It keeps me in the studio painting for those
I also do paintings on commission and then
I have a line of my own art greeting cards.
And, I know there's potential to grow there.
I have some wholesale accounts locally.
It's just a lot to balance, right?
So, I find it really difficult to prioritize
my many various life commitments and grow
my art business with balance and with grace.
I still want to be a good mom and be available
So, anyway, I'm pretty hooked into the social
media world, and I noticed that people like
the hashtag #hustle.
I've even used it.
I frequently see entrepreneurs talking about
bootstrapping and neglecting sleep succeed.
I do not want to suffer to succeed and it
defies my spiritual life.
And, I can't really afford to neglect sleep
right now and still be a present, compassionate
mom to my daughter, who at three needs a lot
She can suck the energy out of a room really
fast, in a good way.
So, let me get to my point.
I'm really looking for a new outlook on success
or maybe how to redefine it at this point
in my life and my career.
So, my question is, what are some tips for
structuring my life to achieve success with
grace and do you have some role models or
a role model I can relate to?
Yes, okay, so I love this question, Betsie.
I think a lot of people can relate to it.
First thing and I know you've already mentioned
it, but I don't know if you've clearly defined
it or articulated it for yourself.
The first thing you need to do is define what
success looks like for you at this particular
stage in your life.[a] You were talking about
the fact that your daughter, Olive, is three.
That there's a couple of different components
to your business.
You have the house, you have the pets and
you have a husband with a fast-growing business himself.
So, my suggestion, first and foremost, is
to take some time, carve out an hour or two.
If you can get yourself out of the house,
someplace in a different environment where
you can just sit and be by yourself and really
write down, for you, what does success mean.
I feel like it's a really nebulous term and
most of the time we've adopted definitions
either from our family, from society or older
versions of ourselves that may not be true
to the person that we are today.
So, that's step number one.
What does success mean to you?
And, that might look like spending a certain
amount of time with your daughter every day.
Making sure that you're there with her either
when she wakes up or when she goes to bed.
But, I would encourage you to make the specifics
of what success looks like and feels like
as concrete as possible.
None of us are ever going to be perfect as
that, but I think that's going to give you
a North Star of your own to follow.
And, once you have that it's going to inform
the rest of your choices.
I know you mentioned that you spend some time
on social media and you've seen the hashtag
Where it's like, work your face off 24/7 and
then basically you're dead, which by the way,
I do not prescribe to that ideal either.
Most people I know spend actually way too
much time on social media.
These things ... You can't see me right now,
but I'm holding up my iPhone.
They're designed to be addictive.
And, social media sites, they are run by people
who's entire job it is to keep designing and
redesigning that app to get you addicted to
it so you spend more and more time on their app.
So, it's their whole job to steal more and
more of your attention and you have to set
clear boundaries so you're not in there that
That's the other place where I feel like,
if people recognized time they actually spent
on their phones or in social media they would
I did a little test with myself.
I think it was last year where I downloaded
an app that would calculate the amount of
time that I spent on my phone and I am nowhere
near as bad as some folks that I know, and
it was disgusting to me.
So, that's the second thing I would tell you.[b]
The third thing I would tell you is that once
you have your definition of success, and you've
curbed your social media or your iPhone habit,
the next thing that you need to focus on is
really being clear on your top priorities[c].
At this stage in your life, and I don't want
to put words in your mouth, but it might be
true for you, being a mother might be the
number one priority.
Or, perhaps being a wife may be the number
one priority and maybe the business comes third.
And, again, I'm not telling you that you need
to tell us right now, but I think it's important
for each of us to define what is the most
important thing in our life, no matter what.
What comes second, what comes third and what
Because, when push comes to shove, when people
get sick, when things happen that you don't
expect you need to come back to your priorities
and align how you're spending your time with
what you say in your heart is really most
And, then finally I'll just tell you this,
something I like to say to myself a lot.
When you know what's important it's a lot
easier to ignore what's not.
[d]So, that means getting practiced at selective
Shutting off the TV.
Not opting into family drama.
Not caring about what's going on on social
Allowing yourself to really remove a lot of
the incoming input and information so that
you can focus on only what's most important
to you and not feel guilty that you're missing
out on other things.
Sure, that makes sense.
Yeah, does any of this resonate for you?
Yeah, yes it does.
Maybe I'll take a hard look at my social media
intake, but I'm pretty good on that front.
Good, that's great to hear.
I post on Instagram and it automatically pushes
to Facebook and I don't even log into Facebook.
Good for you.
So, and then I'm out.
I mean, I've got it.
I think the big one for me is re-prioritizing
or really taking a hard look at even my own
Within the hours I'm working in the studio
I'm pretty proficient.
But, I get stuck in that time warp where I
go, "Oh, what do I work on next?
Do I work on the wholesale accounts?
Do I paint today?"
And, I know I'm losing time there.
And, so I think if I had my roadmap, my North
Star, like you mentioned, I don't have to worry about...
There's no question.
It's like, "Oh, here's my top priority, work
on that, go."
You just mentioned something so important
and that is a place where many of us can lose
a lot of time, because if we don't know what
the highest value activity is, of what we
really should be focused on, then we are stuck
in that gray zone going like, "Oh, the wholesale.
Oh, the this part or that part."
And, so just like for you-
Sometimes I literally turn in a circle.
Yes, yes, no, this is excellent.
So just like defining success for what your
life is, right?
Having that definition clear for you.
You definitely need to do that for your business
What does success really look like and feel
like?[e] This is something, I don't know...
Have you done B-School yet?
No, don't, no, no, no guilty.
I listened to it and read every one of her
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
No, that question was not about guilt.
That was just about curiosity, because I was
going to point you to resources in there.
But, at some point in the future.
Yeah, I'd love to do it.
Yeah, if it looks good to you, definitely
sign up, because one of the gifts that that
program brings to all the participants is
helping them really prioritize what success
not only looks like in the business, but how
the numbers line up.
So, at some point in the future, if it resonates
for you, come take it and that'll help you
create that roadmap for your business.
It does, you're on my list.
Awesome, thank you so much for playing today
and keep us posted on how it's all going.
Will do, Marie.
Thank you so much.
If you don't hear it enough, you're amazing
and you're doing wonderful things for my generation
and anyone who listens to you.
Thank you, we love you, thank you.
Thank you for being the change we want to
see in the world.
Yay, bye darling.
Thank you so much.
Okay, take care.
Hello, this is Marcy.
Hi, Marcy, it's Marie Forleo.
How are you?
Yes, hi Marie.
I'm wonderful, how are you?
I'm so good.
I am here and you are here on the MarieTV
Live call-in show.
What's your question and how can we help you
Oh my goodness.
Okay, so my question for you is, I'm a portrait
photographer and I'm in year four of my business.
And, I took B-School early on and so I felt
like that really propelled me forward.
And now my business is going off.
It is blossoming and I have been scaling up.
And I have an amazing client base and I just
opened a photo studio this year, which has
been a dream of mine since I started.
So, my question is, I have been able to do
all this while also taking eight weeks off
a year to travel and that's really one of
my reasons for being an entrepreneur.
But, how do you or maybe others that you've
coached manage your workload while also taking
time off to travel?
I don't have an assistant.
It's just little old me, so I know I need
And, then if you have any other ideas, I'd
love to maintain a flourishing business and
also an adventurous personal life.
Yes, and just can I just say, Marcy, congratulations
on your growth.
We're giving you little confetti bombs right
It is so awesome.
Yeah, you're welcome.
I also want to congratulate you for this too,
because so many people start businesses and
they don't pay attention to their personal
life, or their other dreams.
And the fact that you've carved off taking
eight weeks off a year to travel and that's
your standard, just big ups to you.
So I know you know this already, but I will
I think getting an assistant ASAP is what
you need to do in order to grow and to have
I would make that your number one priority.
Set your standards really high, because you've
been through B-School.
You know we teach you about something called
an Ideal Customer Avatar.
You want to make an ideal employee avatar.
You want to create the same type of profile
that really articulates the traits and the
values and the kind of person that you want
to attract to work in your business, so make that happen.
Do not take the first person that comes along
unless they are the perfect fit.
Keep going until you find that person.
And then you want to invest the tie and energy
to really train them.
So someone that's coming into your business,
it's going to take an investment of your time,
your mental focus, coaching them, leading
them to be that top level assistant that you need.
So let's assume that you do that in the next
two to three months.
Then, in terms of being able to take time
off, the way that it works in our company,
we just plan ahead.
We are such big planners, so we know a year
in advance when we're taking the down time
from our company.
Often times, it's six to eight months in advance
I know when I'm taking a personal vacation,
and I'll work with my team to reverse engineer
everything that has to be done before I'm off the grid.
That could look like auto-responders, social
media, any projects, any things that people
know that they need from me, we literally
chunk out that time in the calendar before
I'm off the grid.
And not once, in 18 years running the business,
really in the last decade when I've had a
larger team, has anyone had to contact me
when I was away.
So saying that to you to let you know that
it's completely possible with the right planning.
And then, looking at it from the customer
facing perspective, being able to let your
clients know that you won't be around, that
you're going to be gone for X-amount of time,
it's actually a really lovely, authentic,
genuine marketing strategy to get you booked
up before you leave.
So letting people know well in advance of
those eight weeks that you're taking off,
or however you chunk it down.
Let's say you're going away in May.
You let people know in January and February,
"Hey, I'm only taking clients up until April,"
because of course after that, you'd have to
process the photos and do all of that work,
so it's a really wonderful way to basically
spur sales before you go, and then have your
assistant do the follow-up work, and then
when you come back, not only do you have more
money in the bank, but you've probably got
new clients booked too.
Oh, that's something I can put in right away.
Thanks for that.
It's great advice.
And Greg is shaking his head right now going,
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."
Because it's hard.
I think we fear that we're going to pop away
and then ,"Ooh, where's all of our business,"
when we come back.
It's super smart.
Marcy, since you're a B-Schooler, you know
ABM, always be marketing.
That's my mantra in life.
So you can do all of that all year long.
You have those tools in your tool kit.
You have all the strategies you need.
But taking that time off is important.
And I'm also going to challenge you, because
I bet you you'd love to do this, over the
next year or two, let's stretch that eight
weeks to 10 weeks if it sounds exciting, because
you can absolutely do it.
Yes, only live once.
Only live once.
We've got to make it good.
Was that helpful for you?
Yes, thank you so much for your time and your
I took notes while you were talking, and I
can definitely implement these strategies right away.
Thanks so much, Marcy.
We love you.
Thanks for calling in.
Thank you both.
I love you guys.
I need to book a vacation.
I need to book that time in.
Book it in.
Make it happen.
Hi, is this Hanna?
Hey, it's Marie Forleo and you are on our
live call-in show.
Oh my gosh.
This is so exciting.
Yeah, we're excited to talk to you.
I'm ready for your Q. Let me know what you've
got, and let's see if we can help you out.
Alright, give me one second.
My name is Hanna.
I'm also from North Jersey.
Well, I don't know what part of Jersey you're
from, but I'm from Bergen County.
And right now, I'm living in Costa Rica.
I've been here just over a year.
And I'm hoping to start a conservation business.
I'm doing shark work.
So I've been working on that, but I've found...
I watch the videos, I read the books, I listen
to podcasts, I know what to do.
My problem is that I never end up doing it.
I set intentions and I let myself down every
I might do really well for a few days, but
then I fall back right into where I started.
So I've been able to identify some self-destructive
behaviors, but I know when I think about letting
them go, I know I'm not ready, so I don't
even try, because I know I'm just going to
fall right back into it again.
So even things that I want to do, I'm not
I'll be really excited to do something, and
then I'm like, "Nah, tomorrow."
I'm not depressed.
I think I'm just lazy.
And I keep thinking that I'm going to find
my motivation, I'm going to get my life together,
but it's been months that I've been here,
and I don't have much to show for it, and
I know I need to change things really soon.
So I was hoping you could give me some advice.
Yeah, well I think this is a really interesting
dilemma, and I'm really excited to talk to you.
Curious, and you don't have to say if it's
too personal, but can you share with us if
you're willing, what are two of the self-destructive
behaviors that you've identified?
Hanna: Let me think.
Definitely with eating.
I notice if I have something sweet too early
in the day, like I'll have pancakes with chocolate
chips in them, and then all day, all I want
is sugar, and I just eat horribly, and I indulge
all day, and then I feel just awful.
But I go the next morning, and I'm like, "But
I still want those pancakes with chocolate chips."
And then sometimes, I'm like, "Well, I know
that triggers me, but I can do this.
I'm going to do it anyway, and then I'm going
to beat it," and then I might beat it maybe
for a day or maybe for a half a day, but then
it's just like I'm right back to where I am again.
So the other thing that caught me that you
shared, Hanna, was that you're not ready to
let these behaviors go, and for me as a coach,
one of the things that's a standard for me,
the only people that I can work with and actually
help are people that are committed to change.
So my thoughts for you to consider are this.
One, if you're not willing to change and you're
not willing to let these things go, you might
just want to spend your time in Costa Rica
doing exactly what you're doing, because fighting
yourself is preventing you from just enjoying
the time that you're there.
I don't know if you plan to be there indefinitely
or if there's a time limit, but one of the
things, if you don't want to change, that
change is not going to happen.[i]
The second thing, and thank you by the way
for sharing what at least one of those behaviors,
self-destructive as you call them, are.
It's clear, and I know that you know this
in your bones, but sometimes it helps to hear
it from an outside voice.
Your biology, you can't fight that.
What sugar does to us and to our brain and
to our motivation and your blood sugar going
up and down, and the ability to think clearly
and to want to do anything, it's really, really
challenging to override that on a consistent
Even if you were to take a day or two, and
let's say you didn't have those pancakes in
the morning with the chocolate chips, your
body is still going to be reacting to the
habit that you've been living in for, what
it sounds like, quite some time now.
The other third thing that I wanted to share
and ask you about is, did you find yourself
more motivated when you weren't in Costa Rica,
like living in different places?
Maybe in New Jersey or someplace else?
I wouldn't say...
I feel like it was more like the structure,
because all through high school and college
and the two years I was still living in the
states outside of college, I was getting stuff done.
I was motivated, I guess.
I was getting stuff done.
But I also...
I had to.
And that's the thing with my own business,
it doesn't feel like I have to.
In college, I have to hand in that paper on
I don't have a choice.
I have to hand it in, otherwise, I'm going
to get a bad grade.
And I feel like having that structure and
motivation and having the classes and stuff,
I loved college.
I love learning.
But I have a whole lineup of all these online
classes I want to do now that I have wifi,
and I have not done a single one of them.
I know that I love learning, but I just can't
get myself to do it.
And I feel like part of it is because here,
I have my own schedule and I can start my
day whenever I want to start.
And sometimes my day doesn't start until 3:00
when I do any work at all, and then I work
until 5:00, and I'm like, "Ooh, it's been
a long day.
I deserve this glass of wine."
It's been two hours.
I used to work from 8:00 to 5:00, and then
I would come home and have my glass of wine.
And now I work from 3:00 to 5:00, and I'm
like, "Man, good day. Good day."
So Hanna, there's a few things.
For each of us, it's up to us to decide what
type of life we want to live, and that's certainly
not for me to judge.
But since we're talking here and I can tell
based on your question that this isn't working
for you, there is inner conflict in there,
I'll just offer you a few more ideas to consider
as you continue to go along.
So one, recognizing that structure works for
you, and that having consequences and people
to answer to is actually something that actually
motivates you, that's a clue to how you thrive.
Everyone thrives in different environments.
If you think about it in terms of plants,
I think about some plants that are in LA.
They don't need very much water.
And then some plants out here on the east
coast, they need a whole different environment
in order to bloom and be their best.
Part of what you may be discovering, Hanna,
is what environments you thrive in.
And while you may think at this point ... I'm
not saying it might not happen eventually,
but starting a business for you, may not be
the best thing for you right now.
Finding work in conservation, being able to
be a part of a team that's working in shark
conservation may actually be a way for you
to create that structure, and have those consequences
so you can break this pattern that you're
in, and then perhaps in a year or two, or
maybe even three.
Then start your own business, if that's the
I'll tell you, there's a lot of people in
our company who basically are entrepreneurial-minded,
but I'm the one that's keeping the lights
They're not any less because they're not running
They're incredible superstars who do so well,
and they're successful on their terms because
they found an environment that they thrive
The other thing I will say to you my friend,
and this is just human to human.
Taking care of our health, taking care of
this physical vessel called our body that
we use to share our gifts, and to make a difference
in the world.
Getting off of the sugar, getting off of that...
You know, and I love wine as much as the next
person so again, I'm no telling you that you
necessarily have to drop that piece, but I
can hear from you that you're not setting
yourself up to win.
You're not setting your body up to be as strong
as it can be.[j] For your mind to be as clear
and focused as it's capable of, or for you
on a spiritual level to be able to share your
gifts with the world, in the way that you
are meant to.
My encouragement for you, whether you stay
in Costa Rica, you come back, you go somewhere
else, is to set a new standard for yourself,
to get these damn chocolate chip pancakes
off your daily menu, and to start eating real,
whole food that's actually going to fuel your
growth, rather than suppress it.
Any of this resonate?
But again, you get to decide what success
looks like and feels like to you, and if you're
like, "You know what, for the next few weeks
in Costa Rica I just want to chill, and I
don't want to work until 3:00 and I'll do
two hours, and then at 5:00 I'm going to have
my glass of wine."
But just let go of fighting with yourself.
It's like either dive full in, and go whole
hog, or go whole hog in the other direction.
But it's that conflict that I think is really
drowning you at the moment.
Just like if that's how I'm going to be.
Just be okay with that and not beat myself
up about it.
Be hedonistic for a little while.
I can almost guarantee at some point you're
going to get so sick of it you're like, "Alright,
now I'm ready.
Now I am ready."
Well that's what I've been waiting for.
Yeah, but you're not though because that internal
conflict of talking to yourself back and forth,
that's what's keeping it locked in place.
Thank you so much.
I hope this is helpful, Hanna, and please
do keep us posted on how you do.
Thank you Marie, have a good one.
You know it is so funny though, because like
as a freelancer myself, I was in their salon,
I had their structure of a salon and then
I started working in our corporate office.
Had that accountability, had that structure
as well, but now I can totally relate.
Sometimes I'm like, "Oh my God it's 12:00
what do I do today?"
"What have I done?"
One thing that's really helped me.
When you said environment, is setting up a
space every day at 10:00 where I go and start my day.
If that's Starbucks, I go to Starbucks, I
sit there, and I answer my emails from there,
but creating that structure and that discipline
that I no longer have.
And having that like, "Got to do it."
Well I think that's interesting too for all
of us relating to environment.
Costa Rica's an amazing place and of course
there's millions of people that get tons of
work done while they're there, but when you
come from New Jersey, which is where I'm from,
and then you're living in Costa Rica, those
are two very different environments where
it's likely that...
I mean I could see myself going, "Maybe I
don't have to get so much done until 12 noon."
I mean, especially when you're going from
the structure like she said she had.
She was so structured, and had to do it.
Maybe she just needs to chill the F out on
the beach for a little bit.
Maybe for a week or two.
And then she's having that come to Jesus moment.
Hi is this Janet?
Hi it's Marie Forleo and you are live on the
MarieTV Call-In Show.
How's it going?
Hi how's it going?
What's your question?
How can we help you today, Janet?
I'm in the middle of my job now, but it's
My question is, I'm navigating through...
I want to in the next six months I want to
book out my design services.
I'm a web designer, webpage expert.
I don't know what to focus on.
Do I focus on my editorial calendar?
Do I focus on going on
social media and finding clients?
What should I focus on to get that immediate
attention of clients?
Well Janet, I want you to know...
Thank you by the way for including your website
in your question, because I'm clicking through
to it, and your website is cute.
Here is my advice to you.
Personally, one of the things that I think
that you should do, is start connecting with
I know you had mentioned Facebook groups.
Go in and do free website audits.
One of the best things you can do is show,
not tell[k][l] how great you are as a website designer.
And there's no better way to do that, then
to go in, connect with some people, take a
look at their website, and then do a couple
quick mock-ups to show how people could potentially
improve their websites.
And, when people see that, they are not going
to be able to resist hiring you.
Going in, making connections, whether it's
in Facebook groups, or other people that have
an audience of folks who might want website
That is what's going to get you the furthest,
Because, all business comes from relationships.[m]
The more you can demonstrate, and show how
good you are, it's going to have people lining
up around the corner.
Yeah, okay I understand.
So when it comes to editorial calendars do
Posting on social media, creating that content
for that is not a priority?
I think that's always second, because you
want to remember one of the important things,
Janet, is that, you don't own the connection
on social media, and I'm sure as you know,
no matter how many followers that you have
most of the algorithms are not even letting
the full amount of people who follow you see
I mean we're noticing that.
It happens on Facebook, you can't reach the
people who want to pay attention to you, unless
you pay for that.
Where on the flip side, if you do a before
or after, or if you do some kind of audit
or lesson people can then share that through
social media, which is a piece of content
that you create, but then all of a sudden
it has a ripple effect far beyond just some
single post that you do to your own channel.
Does that make sense?
Yes that makes sense.
Not only that, is think about it this way.
For you to take the time to do a really smart
website audit, and give people really tactical, clear advice.
So many folks are going to be able to see
how wise you are, and then go, "Who is this
She is fabulous.
Let me click through and see what she does."
And you might want to start then making offers,
and letting people know, "Hey, I'm accepting
clients through August, or September," or
whenever it is, and make people some special
offers that inspire them to act quickly.
But I did want to say this to you.
I know everyone at home can't really see your
site, but we will put a link up to it.
I wanted to compliment you, I think you did
a fantastic job in terms of creating three
different windows on your current website,
to ask people what they're struggling with.
For example, if they just bought their WordPress
theme and they don't know what the hell to
do, you have one place to send them.
If they're done with tutorials, and they just
want you to do it for them, you've got another place.
Or if someone says, "I don't even have the
time to keep up with my website can you help me manage it?"
I just want to compliment you on what a great
job you're doing already, and if you can continue
to communicate your expertise through these
website audits, you're going to have a wait
list in no time.
Sign me up.
Okay, thank you so much.
You're welcome darling.
Keep us posted.
Hope this was helpful.
Bye, thank you.
Such great calls today.
Really great calls.
And there you have it folks.
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