Shall we do this thing? Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. It's Q&A Tuesday, don't you know? I can't help it.
Hey, it's Marie Forleo, and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. And this is Q&A Tuesday. Today's question comes from Kristen and she writes, "Hi, Marie. I'm a 31 year old optometrist, wife, and mother of two. I've been married for five years, lived in the same house for five years, and I've been at the same job for five years. I love my family dearly and enjoy my job. However, I feel like something huge is missing. I'm not sure if it's the five year slump or if I'm meant to do something bigger." Hmm. I've never heard of the five-year slump. Is that the thing that comes two years before the seven year itch?
All right. She says, "I've never been one to take huge chances. I come from a family of realists. I know I have a lot of potential, but there's always that you're not good enough thought nagging me. I need and want to break free of this desperately. I love dancing, but I'm self conscious. I love singing, but I don't do it because I worry how I'll be perceived. I have to cut the self doubt for myself and my family. I certainly don't want to instill it in my children. Sincerely, Kristen"
Great question, Kristin. So many of us can relate to that feeling that there's something missing in our life. And before we move ahead, I want to acknowledge you for having the courage to say, you know what? I am not going to settle for the status quo and I want more for my life. Good for you, woman.
First things first. If you don't make the change right now, you're right. You will pass along all that self doubt to your kids. If they see you as someone who's not willing to take risks, as someone who's not going to go for their dreams, you're going to wind up creating your own family of realists. And what I mean by that is people who are unwilling to go for their dreams, unwilling to be unreasonable. And here's the thing, Kristen. As you know, sometimes the best things in life come when we're being unreasonable. On the other hand, if your kids see you taking action and going after your dreams and being willing to embarrass yourself every once in a while, they're going to get the message that it's safe for them to take risks and to go after their dreams instead of just dreaming about them.
Here's the other thing about what's missing from your life, Kristen. What's missing is fun. Just because you're in a slump, it doesn't mean that you've outgrown your house or your marriage or a job. All it means is that you've outgrown your tolerance for leading a boring ass life. We human beings need to be creative. We need the adventure and the excitement and the variety that comes from creative endeavors. And when I was reading your question, that little line that you have about dancing, that you wish you could dance, you wish you could sing, tells me that you are creatively malnourished. You are starving right now. And look, you don't have to go audition for X Factor or do anything crazy like that. You can just start singing in your shower if you want, or you can take dance breaks at the office.
I'll give you an example from my own life. I am a bit of a closet hippie. And in the past year, I've been starting to go to drumming circles. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I love it. Sure, I could have let the fear of looking stupid stop me. But when has that stopped me before? If we get right down to it, I have the life I have right now because I'm willing to look stupid. Here's the thing, Kristen. You are waiting for a sudden hit of courage to do the things you're afraid of. But the truth is this, you have courage inside of you. You just need to activate it. Courage is a muscle, and you build it by doing the things that you're afraid of. So if you're terrified of something, say, "Screw it. I'm going to do it anyway." That's the way that you're going to strengthen and stimulate your sexy courage muscles. As Mr. John Wayne said, and yes, it's a tweetable, "Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway."
Finally, Kristen, about not feeling good enough, we've already done a whole episode on that right here. Kristen, that is my A to your Q. Remember, you've got one shot on this planet, so make it count.
Now I want to hear from you. Have you ever had that feeling like you have a good life, but something's just missing? What did you do to turn it around? I want to hear your story. As always, the best stuff happens after the episode in the comment section at marieforleo.com. So go there and tell me your story right now.
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Did I say question in a weird way? I'm not even tired. I think my mouth is tired. I feel great. In the can. Did I just say that?
