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How To Change The World… And Still Have Time For Your Friends.

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Do you ever struggle to find time for friends because you’re busy changing the world… or simply trying to keep it all together?

If so, you’re not alone. Friendship guilt is a common issue for ambitious creators.

No matter what stage of the journey you’re at, when you’ve got a fire inside of you to create something new and meaningful, the truth is — building something from the ground up takes time.

And typically more time than most people (including ourselves!) expect.

Add in our other responsibilities (i.e. full-time job, school, sig. other, kids and fur babies) and it’s understandable that quality friend-time somehow gets relegated to the back-burner.

But is that just how it is? Is there a way to give our best to our creative quests, keep the basics of life running and still have quality time with friends too? That’s exactly what we’re diving into this week on MarieTV.


Today’s Tweetable: The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.” – Elisabeth Foley via @MarieForleo

If you’ve ever struggled with friendship guilt, or you’ve been able to crack the code, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. Too often, we don’t recognize the deep value of our relationships until it’s too late.

Let’s use today’s question as an opportunity to find ways to genuinely honor our deep desire to create global change and stay connected to those who matter most.

How important are friendships in your life and what’s one thing you do to make sure you stay connected to people you love?

Share as much detail as you can because thousand of souls come here each week for inspiration and connection. Your stories and ideas may be the exact breakthrough someone else needs.

Thanks in advance for watching and diving into the discussion from a place of love and compassion!

XO

Marie Forleo

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Read the comments or Add yours

Kristen the Passion Plan Coach

Oh, I totally get this. I feel like I don’t get to see my friends and family enough sometimes because I spend so much time on my business. Plus, on top of it, I also need a lot of introverted solo downtime in order to stay sane.

I love the No Guilt Agreement concept! I think some of my friends and I already have this as an unspoken agreement, but why not bring it out into the open?

Biggest takeaways — set up NNFT (and NNAT – Non-Negotiable Alone Time) every month when I’m not allowed to think about business.

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Emelia

Most of my family and close friends don’t live in my region…hell, most are out of the country. I have to rely on phone calls and Skype. When I do see them, work is rarely a distraction.

Bottom line is I guess there’s no use in saving the world when you’re inadvertently destroying your own.

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Kyle Lyle

Thats my favorite quote. I am always reminding myself that not everyone can be saved, yet I just keep trying. Its so remorseful!

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Aziza

Loved the NNAT concept!! :)

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Lisa Robbin Young

NN(F/A)T compliments IPA (Important Personal Activities or Income Producing Activities) – You need both – balance in all things, yo. Focus on what needs to be done and MUST be done by you in order to get the benefits. When I wrote my book, we focused on 5 Key areas of success (Faith, Family, Fitness, Fortune, Freedom) – and if you neglect anyone of them for too long, that part of your life deteriorates significantly (and could, quite literally, die).

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Samantha

Lisa I love your 5 key areas of success. I have been having a lot of trouble lately finding a balance between full-time work, growing my business, raising a 1st grader (who will start having homework this year plus loves playing sports), trying to ride my horse (that’s me time, including the time taking care of said horse) plus spend quality time with my husband. Then trying to fit in quality, must have for my sanity, friendship time. It’s been building up for a few months, this pressure of guilt in my heart, and I’m going to implement your 5 keys into my monthly schedule. Thank you!

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Lisa Robbin Young

Awesome! You can get the book at TheSecretWatch.com if you want to take it even deeper.

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Elaine

Those 5 areas are just so important. I think we sometimes forget that neglecting one impacts the others. They all interconnect in some way.

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Lisa Robbin Young

You are SO right, Elaine. They all touch in someway, and many overlap. The good news is that you can “double dip” by doing an activity that covers multiple areas (like taking your family to the park (freedom, family, and fitness).

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SandyG

Friendships are important to me and I’m lucky to have three sisters who are my best friends. Together with my brother and brother in law we make monthly sibling time. If we can we do sibling weekends made up of a variety of things. The important thing is we stick together through it all. We take care of each other. We let each other be our unique selves. And most of all we laugh so hard it hurts.

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Aziza

That sounds amazing Sandy!

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Elizabeth H.

Yes Sandy, that does sound amazing, you are very blessed.

I lost my BFF nine years ago and I’ll never be able to replace that relationship and what it brought to my heart and soul. I have some other good friends but nobody lives nearby, and I’m not so social that book clubs and lunching with acquaintances feeds my soul.

I’m actually considering a huge move from Calif. to Asheville at 62, where I won’t know anybody. But I have grown and changed a lot over the past 10 years and know I can find some likeminded friends there and a community. Moving there allows me to semi-retire and enjoy the gift of time and all it brings

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Aziza

Loved this video! Your hair looks really fab today too Marie! ;) I think it’s great that you tackled this topic. As a self employed person my schedule isn’t always 9-5 like many of my friends and I don’t always have free time after 5 or on weekends. But since my friendships are very important to me and so is hanging out and letting off a little steam every once in a while, I have found that its easier to get together through planning a week or two in advance. If its a group event then group emails or even creating small group Facebook events makes it easier for us and if someone knows they can’t make it, we simply leave the group email or conversation. Agreements like non-negotiable friend time and not guilting someone if they can’t make it are also really great ideas to put into place. ;)

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Carrie

I’m digging the concept of NNFT. I’ve realized that as I’ve grown busier, my friends have as well. It no longer works to simply say “we should get together soon.” Soon is not specific! We need to set a date and stick to it.

I have a great group of college friends, like Marie, that I hope will always be in my life. But as I grow and move into new phases of my life (such as starting my own business) I find that some of my old friends don’t quite ‘get it.’ I’d love to hear Marie’s input on this aspect of friendships as well.

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AP, Life Coach in Training

I love this Marie! Balancing friendships when you’re trying to change the world IS a tough one. When I first started the all in life coach training program, Mentor Masterclass, it was super hard to say no to hanging out with my college friends all the time. Over the months however I’ve learned the power of fierce focus and realized just what you said: true friends will stay just that – no guilt necessary.

One thing I do however is at the beginning of each week I make a list of my friend/family circle in my planner. I make sure I contact them by the end of the week whether it’s to hang out or just a ‘thinking of you’ call/text. It keeps us connected :)

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Kellie

Hi Marie – I agree. It is super important to make the time for friends and family. I will never forget an inspiration tip from Oprah and she mentioned she never works on a Sunday. I have always lived by this & more so since being an entrepreneur. This is non-negotiable time for family and my NGA friends.

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Terry Drew Karanen

Lead by example comes to mind. I get these AMAZING ideas and then have to share them immediately … often without the slightest regard to whether or not my friends are in a place to contemplate my new thoughts. DUMB! (Okay, no guilt FROM me TO me, either!).

I just mean that if I expect my friends to honor my time and space I must remember to do the same for them! Another great Tuesday Q&A, Marie. Thanks!

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Shawna Giefer

I love the boundary setting with your friends and how it’s okay to be completely upfront and not take things personally. True friends understand this. Thanks again for sharing. I always find tremendous value in your videos.

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Sally Petersen | Artbase Graphics

Hey Marie. Good show great topic.

Years ago I read ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ by Stephen Covey. I found it very helpful for allocating schedules for work.

As for friendships I keep the old saying in the back of my mind.
“People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”

I give a 20 minute call to my friends first thing Saturday and Sunday mornings. During the week I’ll email the odd pic without expecting a response. We meet up when we can.

BTW some of my friendships are well into the third decade. I never let a friend go, but never go/stay where I’m not wanted.

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Raquel English

I have to say that through many years of practice and prioritizing through the stephen Covey Philosphies, I don’t struggle with this . When we are deeply prioritized by remembering the “begin with the end in mind” concept and living the principles, you can buy all sorts of time. Most people don’t prioritize deeply enough & are a product of their environments and moods. We should strive to live in quadrant 2 of the time Management Matrix. That’s my two cents. I actually am so prioritized, I’ve scheduled time to comment on social media. Teehee… Must go now… I love you Marie!

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Mimi

Did I see a little homage to PooPouri? Great vid, Marie!

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Emilie

So timely. I just had some deep semi-heated discussions with my friends over the past few weeks regarding this topic. In our early twenties the four of us are all over the place (changing the world in our own ways), but we fit so well together. Being the extreme extrovert in the group, I did not realize my verbal disgruntlement with our non-existent NNFT was being perceived as a guilt trip. So we are resolving the issues and I am looking for more outlets to satsify my extrovertness…though I must say post-college is really hard to do! But I will find something :)

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Renee Wiggins

I like your videos, they are practical and userfriendly My friends always say, I am too busy or I am serious. So, . For me, I put my friends into groups
I have friends we see each other every 4 to 5 minutes-set a date-dinner and talk for hours
2) friends I see on the weekends after church or on the phone to check in with each other by emails.
3) friends we only talk by phone once a week.
and everyone is happy.
4) because of the distance, emails and facebook page.
You are right we have to take time our for friends, it is a self-care for me to stay connected

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Mikaila

It helps me to be close with people who are also up to big things, because our time together actually feeds my work and vice versa, rather than feeling like a drain. Our conversations inspire me and make me think about things in new ways – it’s like another phase of my work flow. I can’t be “working working” 24 hours a day anyway. Just like sleeping makes me ready for the next day, my friendships fuel my passion in a way that standard work day stuff can’t. My relationships aren’t separate from my work, they’re integral to it – and if a relationship doesn’t feel like it fits into that natural cycle, then I see what it’s like to let it go.

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Kristen

This was MY question, I feel so special!!!!!! Thank you so much Marie. I love the idea about NNFT and NGA’s. I think that is really going to help me unload the guilt burden and give me time to look forward to rather than feeling on the defensive. I was actually praying about business time vs friend time today and saw this shortly after–so awesome and such perfect timing. As always, on point Marie!

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Louise - Team Forleo

Oh yay! We’re so happy that it helped. Definitely let us know how it goes.

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Jamie Csizmadia

Thanks for sharin’ it, Marie!

As an incessantly inspired creative, intuitive, and business owner, I find myself wanting to do my creative work more and more… it feeds my soul.

It’s also recently become very clear to me that I’m an introvert at heart, which means I recharge by having ample alone time and having intimate one-on-one conversations with my friends and loved ones. Too much noise, too many people, and too much external stimulus drains me.

So, in efforts to get more intentional with my daily/weekly schedule (and more focused with my precious energy), I now say NO to group social events that leave me feeling fried. Someone may be having a birthday party, and instead of attending, I make a coffee date with the friend I actually love and want to spend time with.

Have a beautiful day all!

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Catherine | Fit Armadillo

Such a great video! I don’t think anyone is alone in feeling this way. It really does all come down to balance. Most of us feel over scheduled most of the time. Add in the fact that after school most of your friends and family are likely to live far away and it’s definitely hard not to feel like you’re too busy to make time for the people who are most important.

I’ve actually added online group fitness programs to my program offerings to help friends stay in touch and have fun will getting healthy. The group dynamic is so important for getting us through any big change we want to make in our lives and of course, having your friends around makes anything a lot more fun :)

Thanks for this great reminder to take time for the people we enjoy spending time with in this world we want to change!

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Devan

Definitely needed to hear this today and to know that I am not the only one struggling to balance both!

I feel like it has been easier for me to stay close with my friends that have moved away than my friends that are closer location wise. It’s harder for them to understand why we can’t hang out every week when we are living in the same town. Might be time to talk about a NGA!

Thanks for the message this week. :)

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Theresa Stanley

Great video Marie – seriously the Universe sends me your videos just when I need a message – Divine? Probably.

This is something I struggle with – I run a martial arts studio so the people I am with there are usually who I end up doing social things with – it’s hard when friends fall away from the studio and stop participating in the social part of the club!!

Will implement the NNFT!!

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Oliver Rojas

Hello,

Friendship is a necesarry part of survival. When family fails us friends often step in to keep things in perspective.
I do not do very much to maintain friendships. I try not to establish new ones and I try not to loose the ones that presently exist.

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Eejee Art

I’ve been 10 years all alone by myself half-way of the country, away from friends and family. Most of them (with exception) commented lately that they are closer from me that is geographically away than from people living close by, mostly due to Marie NNFT.

Whenever I travel back to my originated land, I let friends and family know and we look at the “boulders”, the things that cannot move from my schedule, when I need to be somewhere at a specific time. I fill with sand in between. I need to go to the restaurant to eat, so why not having one or tow over, I can sleep over in certain case or a coffee at a layover, even the time of a lift from point A to point B instead of taking a taxi (way more fun, not necessarily for money safe purpose), shopping, activities we can do together while I am over and one or a pair at a time. We also have a 30 minutes Skype Session at their birthday and email link to private picture albums where we document our life without loads of words. We’re not on Facebook or Twitter.

That’s what we’re doing.

Hope this inspires someone.

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Mera

I’ve discovered how important it is for me to take some time to connect with my friends…time when I am not distracted by other things, even if it’s just to have a phone call, text session or send emails or messages over fb. I make sure I touch bases with the most important people in my life weekly and other friends, at least monthly.

Another thing I do is that I try to connect with new people, and this gives me a sense of appreciation for the people I already know and love.

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Shun Jackson

Wow…this is super relevant to me. I’ve been so super busy lately trying to get the business up and running. I recently had a call from my best friend who felt a bit slighted as she has been doing all of the calling when we connect. I felt she was right and the friendship had become one-sided. So, I’ve been making much more of an effort to make time to chat with her here and there because she is very important to me. I also just invited her to my birthday girls night out in a few weeks and we are planning a trip to Vegas next June or July. Friendships are very important and this friend is very vital to me overcoming some huge struggles in my life. So, I definitely don’t want her to feel abandoned. I’m definitely going to try these techniques to keep the friendship balanced. Thanks for the awesome advice Marie!

Shun

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Caroline Frenette | Intuitive Leadership Coach

I have shifted dramatically away from busy-ness in my business and went back to the initial intention : to create a great life.

In this great life, I create time for my friends, my clients, my family, my dreams, my projects, to making money, making a difference and of course… giving lot’s of attention to the Schnoodles :)

It’s all about keeping a perspective on what is truly important.

Thank you for the tips and the beautiful reminder Marie,
Namaste
XO

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Carla

That excerpt from the regrets of the dying book literally made me start crying on the spot.

I’m a have to pick up the phone and call some people today.

Honestly I have friendships that are 20+ years from junior high and high school and I’m so thankful for these people in my life I just want to tell them!! Probably don’t say it enough.

Thank you so much for the reminder.

Feeling like a very lucky girl.
Xx
Carla

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Kay Christopher

It just simply doesn’t work over the long haul not to have balance. We need it physically, emotionally, financially, with friends and family and every other way. It is possible to emphasize work above all else for a while, but not forever. Eventually leads to burning out. Took Marie’s B-School advice and quit working on weekends. BIG improvement in my life, and allows more time for friends and being social which FMS (Feeds My Soul) in a way nothing else does. Great video, Marie. Hit it out of the park again. Thanks for all you and your team do!

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Desha Peacock

Good one. As a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I always feel pulled in a million directions. In fact, my family is waiting for me right now to go pick blueberries (ahh, summer!). But quickly, one thing I’ve noticed is that I’m very drawn to hanging out with other like minded entrepreneurs and many times we are talking shop and supporting each other at the same time. I feel lucky to have these friends in my life. xo

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Alex Nautilus

Hey, Marie.
Seeing you using the tablet on the video, I thought you would like to have a tablet holder like this: http://www.padlette.com
Bye,
Alex Nautilus

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Billy Bradley

My wife ( a Grad of B School) just sent me this, and I completely agree that it is possible to still have a social life and be an entrepreneur. Finding balance is a challenge for everyone, especially for entrepreneurs, but it’s possible. Love your tips.

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Jessy

Can I NNFT with my family? I mean, right now I’m doing a lot of work changing my inner world and they think I’m just being totally self-centered. Would that be really weird and unhealthy to NNFT with your family?

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Joseph Jameson

This is extremely useful information. Honestly I have kept my circle of friends very small since leaving college. I just found it was easier to spread a lot of myself to fewer people, than to have a huge group of friends and come off as shallow or insignificant with what I could offer. I was simply spreading myself too thin. My wife and I spend plenty of time apart, doing our own things also because it’s so healthy to ensure you have time for yourself, it allows you to unwind, and reinvigorate yourself to be ready for anything that comes, and what works for me doesn’t always work for her. Splitting that time up, and spending it doing different things doesn’t even mean we’re not in the same room sometimes, she will be reading and I’ll be painting. We might be doing things silently, with headphones, but we’re still sharing space.

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Michelle Wirta

This is fantastic! It’s sometimes hard for me to be able to distinguish between when I am isolating and when I am intentionally withdrawing. However, I intentionally set aside August as a quite month to release and rebuild a lot of crap that happened this year. I told my friends that I’d be off the map for the month and will tune back in after, which they all appreciated and have been giving me space.
Generally, I like to have a check in day once per month with people I love and haven’t talked with for a awhile. It;s not a set day in the calender, it’s more organic than that, but I do make sure I have touched base with at least three fav people per month, just to say hi and share how much I love and am grateful for them:)

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Jennifer Valley

I am totally guilty of this! I recently moved 900 miles and had to start over in the friend department. I still have a few that I feel the need to check in on every once in a while. I even started making friends in my new location. BUT I’m horrible about making time to go. I always talk myself out of it because of money, my children, my husband or just plain lack of motivation. I know I should start making time to go out but I like being an introvert stuck to my computer. So i’ll pledge to text, call and Facebook message more frequently.

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natasha

I really get how you feel, Jennifer. It’s one thing trying to keep up old friendships but it’s a whole new battle trying to make new ones. I, too, am always finding reasons not to get out there. I have tried lots of different methods (friendship sites etc) but I can’t make myself follow through. My partner is my best friend, and I don’t seem to be able to ‘connect’ with anyone else. I know it takes time, but I don’t have time to concentrate on my social life AND create a business, whilst taking care of a family too. I just don’t think you CAN have it all if you’re building the business and relationships from scratch.
I really feel for you, Jennifer, but selfishly, it was kind of nice to hear that I’m not the only person on the planet who can’t seem to make friends :) :)

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Jess

Love this video! Right after I see a friend, I write their name in my day planner for the next time I will contact them. Obviously, if they get in touch first or if I contact them earlier that’s awesome, but so often weeks or months roll by so quickly that we realize it’s been far too long since we’ve connected. And I love the no-guilt point – my friend and I talked about this last week, realizing we hadn’t talked in months because we’re so busy – we decided we’re in this friendship for the long haul, so if these years (working, business and young kids) are too busy for lots of friendship time, we’ll connect whenever we can and look forward to our friendship continuing to grow and evolve over the years. Thanks!

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Stephanie

Seeing my friends is super important to me. If I think I’ve gone too long without seeing someone, or just need a little extra support, I put a note on my to do list for the week to schedule a date with a specific person. It always works! Also, my boyfriend and I host board game nights in the winter and barbecues in the summer once a month so we make sure we’re staying in regular contact with everyone! These are great because all my different friends have met and have developed relationships of their own. I love it!

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Elizabeth H.

Sounds brilliant. Board games are great for the mind and the fun factor. And I love people that further their disparate friends making connections and becoming friends. Some people are threatened by that for some reason

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Patty Ann

I consider my great friends as my family.

What’s that old saying? You cannot chose your family, but you CAN chose your friends ! :)

In my estimation you CAN chose a family of friends !

Good episode Marie.

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Maggie

virtual wine!

Over the years I find that my friends and I now live far apart from one another and so meeting for a quick drink and catch-up is no longer an option. We now schedule ‘a virtual drink’ and sit down with that drink (doesn’t have to be alcoholic!) and either Skype or talk on the phone. It’s not the same, of course, but at least we don’t miss each other so much

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Elizabeth H.

In the past few years I have grown into my more authentic self, which is more spiritual and less into western medicine and trusting experts. That has been enough to disconnect me over time from the friends I made during my son’s school years. I haven’t really changed that much, I just am more comfortable with those elements of myself and celebrate them more.

As I grow healthier, I see how many of those folks are staying really stuck, having their health decline (over 55, it happens!!), and seeing my “ascension” in body and spirit as somehow a judgment on them.

I finally decided it was the end of our season of friendship, which was painful but ultimately freeing. It gives me energy to connect with new friends who are more where I am in life now and feeds my positivity. I’ll always hold those folks in my heart, just not my daily life.

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Ana Verzone

I love this! I tend to isolate when I get creative do this was an important one for me. Thanks, Marie!

I usually try to have dinner with 2-3 girlfriends at least 1-2 times a month so I get to see them all at the same time. Less frequently I make sure to try to get quality 1:1 time as well, maybe a nice walk or hike every month.

When I travel I send postcards. I love receiving postcards so I love sending them as well.

And lastly, I ask my partner to make sure I get out with friends because of my tendency to isolate when I’m really into work. He reminds me to get out! It really does help.

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Mandy

I leave my Sundays wide open. I practice on the principal that way back when, Sunday was ‘the holy day.’ A lot of businesses close early, or aren’t open at all- so there’s not much to get done outside of the home office anyways. Sunday is a day for family, and friends alike. If they’re not free on Sunday, I’m sure to meet my obligatory friend needs during lunch or for dinner immediately following work. Once or twice a week commitments, and my friends and I are all still satisfied.

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Naomi Arnold | Project Healthy Happy Me

What a great questions, and as always, a brilliant response by Marie.

I am so lucky that most of my friends and family are very understanding. I’ve found that my trouble is making time for myself to just chill and not focus on the business – so that’s something I’ve consciously made an effort with these past few months.

In making time for myself though, I have started to say “no” more to friendship group catchups. I will definitely be instigating the strategies in this video to help myself and my friends out here.

A million thank yous
Naomi xo

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Montana Snell

I actually find that texts are a great way to stay close with my friends… it’s as easy as a “Good morning beautiful, have a great day!” and the responses are always a nice refresher in the busy work day :)

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Kathie

At the end of the day… just love Marie TV and I aspire to be Authentically me in my job just they way you are! I find that so inspirational. I can relate to not always having the time being a single mom, entrepreneur and a spiritual leader for myself. Often it feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day. Some great tips here Marie. Thank you. Above all think we need to be more compassionate with ourselves. We need to be ok with what we have to give rather than trying to over commit ourselves people pleasing which leaves us feeling empty, resentful and drained. We need to respect ourselves enough to say No sometimes. And on the flip, sometimes our souls need a little nourishment and time away from busy schedules, organization and isolation by getting some Friend time Love, Laughter and Connection. Thanks for your awesome advice as always Marie. <3 You totally Rock and inspire me!

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Jenny

If the friendships are real then they won’t mind not seeing you for a little while.. I prefer to have a few close friends and we’ll meet up when it’s possible and it’s just like we were never apart!

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Anthony Fazzary

Informative video… Just remember… Authentic, genuine, friends will not set expectations on you or your friendship…. There is an understanding and a bond that is always there… I like how Marie gives her example of maybe not seeing her friends for years but still can pick up right where they left off when they see each other… That’s True Friendship!!! #AnthonyFazzary #Friendships

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connie curtis

This is great. I am starting a business. I have gone through b school. I am working on a launch page and everything takes longer than you think it will. lol . Business is on going learning. I have to rewatch things like the marketing in b school. Its overwhelming & most of my friends dont get it. I make time for them no problem. I do need to meet more people with their own business. Its just alot. I put stuff in the calendar its the only way I do anything fun. lol.. all about structure. I am going to try to meet some new people.

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Carol Mortarotti

Another great video Marie. I love the tips and it’s all about getting the right balance of work, family and friends who support your mission. :)

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Leisa Briggs

Great video today Marie Thank you!

When I am super busy (as I have been lately) I sit down every fortnight and send each of my friends a text. It takes 5 minutes. I ask them how they are going and let them know that I am thinking of them.

They each respect that I am flat out atm and give me the time I need. I am lucky to have supportive friends.

Another thing I do is see friends during the week. We usually catch up for dinner or drinks and I am able to spend time with my family on the weekend and relax. Win Win!

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Trisha Condo

Before I went with the flow of everyday life, life ran over me hard.

Since I have both a full time job and a psychic biz, I schedule out my family quality time, work, psychic biz hours, and so on. If I don’t schedule out friend time, I won’t stick to it.

I’m glad that Marie posted this informational video on scheduling. We’re all busy chicks and we love to overdo.

Live. Take the time. Schedule everything I say.

Hugs, Trisha
http://www.trishacondo.com

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Audrey Groeschel

Love this video. Down to limited friends now the older I get. They are more important than anything. Love the honesty that comes from being true friends. Havent seen my one bff for about 3 years but it doesnt change that she is the one I turn to for it all. A Vegas trip is in the works and we are going to have FUN!

Its funny you posted this. I just wrote an article about bffs. Hope its ok to post here…

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/audrey-groeschel/your-ass-looks-huge-those-pants

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Llyane @FrenchOnSkype

Friends are the family we choose – so, so important!

FB is my main tool to keep in touch with friends.

I also created a newsletter (yes, a newsletter) that I send to everyone to update them on what I’m up to, where I travel and when, which I try to send almost monthly.

Thanks for this, Marie, much love!

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Zoe Angelia-First Comes Health, Then Comes Alluring

The best gift you can give someone is your understanding. When your friends cancel on you or dont have time to call you, your friendship will be valued more when your response is simply “I understand”.

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Lucienne

“I understand” says it all.

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Stacy Boegem

One of my favorite episode subjects of all time. Love the sentiment. Friendship is so essential. Thank you Marie.

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Alyson

I’m all about the NNFT Marie! It has made such a difference within my friendships. It does exactly what you said gives us something to look forward to, makes us all feel invested in the friendship and it makes sure we actually get together in person…so important! Thanks for all the tips friendships are so special and need attention for sure. xox

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Jennifer Herstek

I think we need to make it quality time. I can go a full year on one shared meal with friends if we take those two hours or so to really open up, to laugh, and to be honest. Also, I think it is good to DO something together, not just sit around and talk when we see our friends,. Shared memories strentgthen the bonds between us. Even if it is something simple like going for a walk or cooking a meal together.

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Kelly - Project Me for Busy Mothers

Such an important topic Marie!

Friendships are vitally important to our happiness and wellbeing – more than some realise.

Recently I did a survey of my mailing list of busy mothers to ask them about the Friendships area of their life. I was sad to read how many don’t have friends and how this part of their life has just taken a huge backseat.

I immediately began to research how I could help them and came up with some wonderful resources I hadn’t known existed. I included them in my blog last week: http://myprojectme.com/meaningful-friendships

I came across Shasta Nelson, a Friendship Expert (!) and her great book ‘Friendships Don’t Just Happen’. Since reading the book I’ve already made 3 new friends just by being open minded!

I admit that since launching my business one year ago, I haven’t seen quite as much of the friends I used to see during the day. My goal is to get proactive and set a lunch or coffee date once a week so I can keep up with the friendships I cherish so much. x

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Jani Franck

Loving the idea of ‘NNFT’ Marie, thanks!

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Lucienne

I simply make time for friends despite a busy life. Having lived in four different countries (two at impactful ages of 12 years and 16 years) which meant often leaving friends (and family), I learnt pretty young the value of friendships. Whether by text, skype, quick call, short email and setting up dates to get together, each method only takes a few minutes – until we meet and that becomes a few valued hours! It is only a decision and no RCAs : -)

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Elsa Alexandra

Marie, this is such a timely video! I was just speaking with a brilliant woman entrepreneur about how challenging it can be to manage a successful career and also have a fulfilling personal life!

Personally, my strategy for staying in touch with friends and family includes (1) weekly/monthly Skype sessions, (2) meeting in person at least once a year, (3) connecting via Facebook

We all live in different countries and have busy personal and professional lives. This way we make sure to remain a reassuring presence in each other’s worlds.

Elsa

PS. I am going through the B-School modules once again to set-up my “right business”. I am launching a coaching/mentoring practice helping busy professional women improve their work-life balance so that they can excel at work and also have a rich personal life.
I’m taking your Marie TV topic this week as a sign that I’m on the right track!

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Thomas

This is a good Topic Marie actually am left thinking how all this material you share with us comes into your mind in the first place. Now life goes like you give, receive and share be it information or whatever with friends. On the other hand we can not keep all the energy and time on friends, No. A balance is needed between interacting with friends and changing the world. According to me more time should be given to changing the world so that we can get the desired results in time. I like lisa 5 Fs that is faith, family, fitness, fortune, freedom. It is a good guide to time management.

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michele

I loved this information. Thank you Marie for saying that your real friends don’t make you feel guilty. I had a friend of 30 years who did this to me all the time. Our best form of communication was by text and sometimes phone calls because we don’t live in the same state any longer. The problem was when she needed to talk (everything was always urgent with her) I would call but it was never convenient to her or she wouldn’t answer or call back. I was left thinking how urgent can it be? Then after one very long abrupt and rude guilt ridden text from her I cut her off as my friend. It was really hard and at first. I thank God for having my close friends, who I have only known for half the time of the other friend. They are also busy but we all understand and we love each other for who we are. We try to get together once a month for dinner or movies. So thank you Marie for saying that your real friends don’t make you feel guilty. It gave me peace and confirmation by what I did since it was so hard for me.

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dora

Love you are solution to this problem . I wish I had heard it years ago , when I had true friends . I let life get in the way before you know it by you no longer know where your true friends are. Now when I want to take a minute out of life ,and sit back and just talk to true friends , it’s a hard fine . So, needless to say I spent a lot of time at my career ,which I love to do.
For those who ave true friends remember to take a minute out of life and enjoy them. How you feel when you’re with your friends are emotions that you remember . Great advice on how to .

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shobelyn

To be honest, I am too busy right now and I have not have time to really go out with my friends. Besides, we live states and continents apart, so I just get updates through Facebook and I think it works well with us. I think friendships have its phases and I am sure that when the phase comes that we are more relax and we are empty nesters, I am sure my friends will be there to pick up where we left off…

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Kelly

I LOVE MY FRIENDS, new and old…and they are super important to me. I truly cherish 2 groups of girls, my high school and college girlfriends. Though we don’t see each other regularly (one I haven’t seen in 10 years) we do chat via text/email/fb. We are all busy w/ family, working, etc… but the best thing we’ve done is get together in person every 10 years for our “big” birthdays. This fall I’m turning 50 and am meeting my college friends for a big b-day celebration for all of us. Then… a month later (because you only turn 50 once right?) I’m meeting my high school friends in Europe (one lives there) for an awesome 2 week trip! I am so lucky!

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Kaija

Just wanted to drop a line to thank you for posting this video. It sure made me think! I did like the practical tips – some of them I had already been using without realizing it.

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Annie Kip

Marie – thanks for this! I feel guilty ALL. THE. TIME.!!! I think it is just this phase of my life – where I am trying to parent/give wings to my teenagers, attend to my own relationships (romantic and friends!), and work on my business. I know that the time will come soon when my kids are on their own and I want to be ready with a life full of what I love to do! I also need alone time, for reading and writing, so I try to get up early in the morning to make time for that. Exercise is the one thing that really gets the short end of the stick! It helps to know how other women fit it all in!

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Benya

Thanks for your golden tips, Marie! I feel the need to take more care of my friendships now and work less in order to have time to meet them. Who knows how long we will live? I must admit that I’m trying to work less and have more leisure and idle anyway, but with friends the time is spent best!

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Karo Akabal

I like it

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Rachel

Great advice Marie, especially the no guilt agreement. I love how your jersey accent comes out when you are pretending to talk to your friends! :)

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Lynne

Dear Marie,

This episode was just what I needed. I have been feeling guilty for prioritizing my time for a long time now. I do realize that I only feel guilty, because I value my time so much. (And I think that’s something good.) Obviously I’d like to get over it and so I am going to try out your strategies. Thank you!

heart Lynne
http://www.emotionalseas.com

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Tammy

This is my best friend’s last night in NYC (she moves to Utah tomorrow) so it was so fitting that I would watch this video now and have this tweetable to share. Thanks, Marie!

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Alexia

Omg I really struggle with this one. If feel very isolated at times running my own business. I don’t feel understood at all by my friends.
This is one of my favorites

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CB

Great video. Question: how can we let our friends know that we’d like more time with them, or that we’re feeling neglected, but without guilting them? It seems like a fine line because a small comment like, “It’s been awhile; I miss you and would like to spend some time together” can be interpreted as guilt-tripping someone.

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Sherri

Totally loved this episode and I appreciated the help you gave with setting boundaries with friends. Very nice tip to include!

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Matt @Leansafes

Another awesome vid Marie. I also agree with most of the readers here, friendship is definitely part of survival. Not all my friends understand what I’m going through in my business since it’s not a typical brick and mortar company.

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Ben

The spread of global democracy, better health, more education, less violence — it all adds up to a much better world. And that suggests the biggest new idea of all: it’s time to abandon our usual pessimism about the state of the planet and the course of history. We’ve got many challenges to overcome, but it might be a good idea to adopt a bit of youthful optimism when it comes to confronting them. After all, we appear to be making pretty good progress.
So lets go out there and change the world and still have some time for our friends

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Coffee Break And Chocolate Cake

This is something I struggle with every day, so this came at such a great timing! Following my passion AND having my top priorities in order is KEY to my successful and fulfilled life <3 Kristel

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Bernice W

This video makes me feel guilty. Although I know that is not the point of this. I have been very busy that I really haven’t been there for my friends. I can’t seem to find a breathing room with my work to a point I want to quit because I’ve been on a bubble lately with work. I hope to break away from that bubble soon. I wish I was good at balancing life. I really suck at it! I am a workaholic, and type-A person so those traits doesn’t help me at all. Its good to know that my friends will always be there…but I don’t want to take them for granted as well.

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Brian

Not sure if this happens to anyone else but last week I had dinner with a friend I haven’t seen in 11 years, and I’m about to go to meet up with her again. After watching this video, I’m thinking maybe reconnecting like that is uncommon. Would this be possible for you if you didn’t have a meaningful connection with the other person?

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Judi

I love this! AND my homegirls! I cannot tell you how much it means to me to see then and that we make it a priority this year. Being with my girls re-charges my soul and makes me a better world shaker!! There is nothing a long girls weekend of laughing until we pee can’t fix.

XO – love your new graphics, set and open on the video. Amazing!
Judi

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Crystal Stokes

Great article Marie! Definitely inspires me to maintain focus on what really matters in life. Moving from CA to Europe taught me a lot about the value of friendships and time for connections.

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Suzie Bartle

Heyyyy – thanks for this. This is what i live by. And due to the fact that i have a chronic disease that means i go through periods that mean i often can’t nor want to spend time with friends, i live by the DBR rules. However, what happens when if, like me, you’re trying to create a business and are well. How do you balance the too? It’s soooo hard!!!!! A constant battle!!! Any advice would be mucho appreciate MF peeps. Thank you and sharing all my love to y’all. Suzie xxx

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Nina

Thank you for this article and video! Came at the right time. I was struggling with this issue for some time as I started my own business and it’s taking a lot of my time. It was very difficult to meet with my friends whenever and some of them were not very understanding and made me feel very guilty which actually made me “edit” my friends list a bit and then this made me feel disappointed and confused. Now, with your article, it made me realise that some friends will always be supportive & understanding and will always stick around, while others will not support your ambitions and will make you feel guilty whenever you can’t make time for them when it’s not urgent. But it also reminded me that life is too short that I must make time for my real friends and set dates to meet with them whenever possible because I do miss them.
Thanks again x
Nina

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Yvonne

Recently I made up a chart (having come off FB a year ago) of all the friends I wish to speak more with and who is really important to me and enriches my life. I have lived in 3 different countries so my friends are kinda spread around the planet!!
I am in the process of setting up some time to go through each friend and make a plan with them to communicate more and some people I realised I was always calling but they never made an effort.
Some of my closest friends and I can not talk for months but when we do it feels like we just spoke yesterday. Those…those are true friends xx

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Natalie

I love the concept of “T.Y.F” (train your friends). I think my group of close GF’s have all sorta been doing this without knowing. We’re all very busy with careers, jobs, and families. Every month or so, one of the girls will send out an email with a list of proposed dates to hang out. Then, each girl responds to the email by putting her initials next to the date that works. The dates with the largest # of initials wins. I know it’s very business like, but we are able to stay in touch this way very well. We also have an annual, girls-only sleepover (haha were 30 now)!!!

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Neha Raj Singh

Very well written! I truly believe in the fact that you cannot be successful in your professional life unless you are happy in your personal life. Having a perfect balance is the key!

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The Fancy Hippie

Great video, as always. I always love implementing a “Let it go” day. That’s the day either once a week or every two weeks where no work is on the table. The day is purely for whatever will bring me the most joy even if that day it’s lying on the couch & watching a silly TV show but it’s often a great time to connect with friends. Brunch, lunch, whatever! Plus tons of ideas always come to me on this day since I’m letting my work breathe & allowing the Universe to do it’s thing. I quickly jot them down when they come to me & address them the next day! xo

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Ellen M. Gregg

This is great! (Acknowledging I’m late to this party)

I have two circles of close friends: my Compass and my Ya-Yas. I’ve been meeting up with my Ya-Yas approximately every six weeks since the fall of 2002. We do exactly as you suggested, and send emails with possible meet-up dates, and then once that’s chosen, we decide on place (one of our homes) and menu. It works great for this solely friendship-oriented group, and it keeps us connected.

I’ve been meeting up with my Compass every other week since the spring of 2006. We meet predominantly via conference call (Thursday night, 8:30 pm, two hours), and we also arrange face-to-face get-togethers about six times a year, with about half of those being overnights at one of our houses. Since this group is focused on evolving and stretching, and supporting each other to do that, we found it was necessary to meet with more frequency, and now we rely on it.

Other friends are hit-or-miss, and those other friends don’t really “get” me. Their paths are incredibly different, and so connecting happens… when it happens. It’s a fascinating thing to look back and see how much I’ve changed, and how much my idea of friendship has changed because of it.

Peace.

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