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Why It’s Smart To Start Small and/or Sucky

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Do you ever stop yourself from starting a new project because when you think about people you admire you say, “I don’t think I could ever be as good as they are…”

Or maybe you’re a stickler for perfection and want things to turn out **just right** otherwise, what’s the point?

Whether it’s starting a new career, writing a book or expressing your art, the fear of initially sucking at something holds many of us back from expressing our highest potential. Fear keeps us silent and stuck.

But what if the key to unleashing our courage and using our talents to change the world means giving ourselves permission to start small and sucky?

Kind of like I did in my first cringeworthy workshop. Click play to see what I mean :)


Today’s Tweetable: Starting small and sucky beats staying stucky.” @MarieForleo

Now, I’d love to know. Is there something you’re stopping yourself from doing because you’re not willing to be anything less than perfect?

Or, have you done something as cringeworthy as my first workshop that got your momentum going?

Leave a comment and let me know. And definitely share as much detail as you can because your story may be exactly what someone else needs to find the courage to get going.

Remember, whether you dream of being a musician, entrepreneur, activist, writer, parent or anything else, don’t forget that the world needs that special gift that only you have.

Thank you so much for watching, sharing and contributing to the conversation.

It’s a true joy to witness such a smart and kind gathering of amazing people from every corner of the world.

With all my love,

XO

Marie Forleo

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Read the comments or Add yours

Kristen the Passion Plan Coach

I used to be the Perfectionist Queen (and she stills shows her ugly head from time to time), but when I started my business a few years ago, it became abundantly clear that perfectionism was NOT going to get me anywhere. It’s a recipe for stagnation and paralysis.

In business, you’re constantly learning and evolving and growing, and if you expect everything to be perfect the first time around, you’ll never get started. This is SUCH an important message for new (or future) business owners, and I needed the reminder today, myself! Thanks, Marie :)

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Laura G. Jones

“It’s a recipe for stagnation and paralysis” – very well said! My business suffered a lot from my perfectionism in its early stages. I would procrastinate on actually trying to get clients by perfecting every little thing, and my articles were dry and boring. Once I started infusing my work with myself and screwing perfectionism I’ve noticed a huge change.

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Danielle

Thanks for sharing that, Laura – so encouraging! As a new coach, I must admit I am still trying to get everything perfect, so those insights are very inspiring. :-)

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Nadjejda

So true Laura and Danielle and thank you both for sharing! Inspiring Laura, I’m working on getting there little by little. I totally get you Danielle, as a life and wellness coach, I too am still in my beginning stages. I’ve not allowed it to stop me in some things but this is so timely as I’m working on a new project that is totally out of my comfort zone and I can see it rearing its head from time to time.

Thank you for sharing this today Marie, very timely!

Love and light to you all! :)

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Danielle

Thanks Nadjejda! And good luck with your brave new project – I’l be cheering you on. I’d love to connect if you want to compare newbie-coaching notes. ;-)

Jill Carnduff

Thanks Kirsten for your original post, echo and resonate with the “perfectionist queen”, yup “stagnation and paralysis” describes it exactly – battling that one all my working life – So Marie this is also extremely timely for me as I’m about to “get into video” and do my first product launch (scary scary).

Also your share Laura, great attitude tip “once I started infusing my work with myself and screwing perfectionism I’ve noticed a huge change “! What a great sentiment for success!

My very first experience of “sucking” was probably a tap dancing display when I was a tiny wee girl with many more “sucky” events up to many business presentations I made — interestingly enough, thinking about it now I was the harshest critic of my own performance, but funny how you don’t learn until you start being “imperfect”.

Danielle and Nadjejda sounds like you’re both doing great, thx for the reminder of “little by little”

Laura thx for your comment on “learning and evolving” gosh a big reminder to pay attention to this quote from Zig Ziglar (which I’ve actually got pinned to a bookcase in my office)

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you Do have to Start to Be GREAT!”

Maybe time to make this twice the size and stick it on the Whiteboard in front of the desk?!!

Anis

Laura, thanks so much for your comments. I started recording video 3 months ago. I didn’t like a single one, so I spent another whole day recording and didn’t like those either. So i’ve moved on to podcasting, and don’t like how I sound. It’s like I’m trying to be professional, which is boring and dry!

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Chas

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That’s how the light gets in.”
~Leonard Cohen

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Elloa

Chas… perfect. Thank you.

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Elaine Mingus

Wow! I’ve never head that poem…LOVE IT! Thanks for introducing me to that poet. What a great message.

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Osha Key

Couldn’t agree more, Kristen! The Perfectionist Queen inside me had been stopping me from doing so many thing I wanted.. Only this year I found the courage to do it no matter what. And I’ve learned to much along the way. Being imperfect gets you closer to being perfect :)

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maddie

Thank you ! that totally sums it all up Osha, “being imperfect gets you closer to being perfect.” I’m in the learning process of making all the beginner mistakes and I also had to kill off The Perfectionist Queen and just push something out there, even if it’s not my best work.

PS Osha, your website looks AMAZING and I love the VIP Coaching page layout. Beautiful. Keep it up girl

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Osha Key

Aww, thanks Maddie! It’s actually my third website! The first one was pretty sucky haha :D But I had to have it, in order to understand what a website should look like ;) Being imperfect gets closer to perfect ;)

P.S. I love your website too! Very clear positioning and easy to subscribe!

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Karen J

“…even if it’s not my best work”
~ but it IS my best work “today”! (She says to herself, as much as to anybody else!)

Great video, Marie – thank you!

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Lyn

Nice website Osha! It has a great vibe :)

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Sondra Sneed, Godscribe

If sucking were a laboratory I would be the greatest scientist ever born! There’s no reason to stay sucky, only a reason to begin suckethly!

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Kay Christopher

Sondra, that’s a good one! “There’s no reason to stay sucky, only a reason to begin suckethly!” I think if we stay with the REASON we want to do the thing, what we want and why we want it, then it’s more okay to begin suckethly—especially when we know that sucking is just temporary.

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Tishia Lee - Virtual Assistant

“It’s a recipe for stagnation and paralysis.” Oh my gosh – you hit the nail on the head with that statement. I’ve put off and put off different things I’ve wanted to do in my business because perfectionism has caused ‘paralysis’! Love that statement, so much. It’s so true and we need to stop letting it do this to us.

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Kristen the Passion Plan Coach

Exactly! Glad to hear I’m not alone in feeling this way. I will say that once I became aware that most of my procrastination was coming from perfectionism, it was the push I needed to kick the habit (most of the time, at least!). I’m finally starting to believe, deep-down, that good enough really IS good enough!

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Karen J

“good enough really IS good enough!”
Yes! Thanks for the noodge, Kristen ;)

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Penny Lane

I have been “stuck” for a bit on something. I was just reminding myself this morning to just do it, do it do it! even if it’s not all awesome, how will I ever move forward improve if I don’t? Thanks for the timely encouragement!

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Alicia, the Pleasurable Progress Coach

AH! I totally feel you Kristin – when I first started my business my inner perfectionist was always rearing her ugly head too!

One of the best cures was the sisterhood I found in Mentor Masterclass, an all-in life coach training program for women on a mission. It’s so much easier to put yourself out there when you have a sisterhood rallying behind you! It’s also great (& so very comforting) to hear their ‘first time’ horror stories too. Thanks Marie for sharing yours will us! It’s always easier when we remember we are not alone. <3

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Marvette

I can really relate to being a Perfectionist Queen. That has really stopped me from moving forward in my business. So much, I didn’t touch my website for nine months. Now, every day, I confront perfectionism head on . The goal is to just get something down that I can come back to and provide tweaks. However, I give myself a time limit when I have to just push submit.

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Bobbie

Not just “beginners” but restarts! I ran a successful home embroidery business for 30 years until I just burned out. . . The creative juices started flowing when I started wire wrapping and beaded jewelry finding my same design, color, size and texture sense popped out…but was afraid I wasn’t
“good enough” to sell my work. Needing a transfusion of cash, I went to a consignment boutique today much like I did over 30 years ago when I walked into the store of my first customer. I did not wear the blazer and pencil charcoal grey suit or panty hose!

As you so beautifully described the event, what did I have to worry about? I had already conducted my worst ever product audition and request for business years ago. What was the worst thing that could happen? They would say no?!

Well they didn’t! They LIKED they saw and I blurbed out the exhorbiant price my girlfriend had suggested. Holy Cow – they didn’t blink when I said $125 for a little abalone shell wrapped in silver plated wire with a dinky little fresh water pearl in the cup of the shell. And that’s without a chain!

I was too embarassed to show her the little French earwires with pearls on them, but she loved them and was looking forward to having them in the shop knowing that they would sell.

It’s a new world from 30 years ago, but I was stuck in perfectionism. Coming home to see this video just made me blink and stand taller knowing that I had leaped a hurdle and looking forward to enjoying my new venture! Thanks Marie!

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Jill Carnduff

Well done Bobbie, great guts and just “going for it” – keep at it, it’s never too late to change habits of a lifetime. Restart, rejuvenated, reignite!

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Elise

This is me 100%.

I have been stuck in perfection paralysis for like the last year! It sucks!

I’m only just realising now that it’s literally not getting me ANYWHERE and that there’s no point waiting to be perfect, because the time is just going to pass anyway so I might as well suck for a while till I get better.

Thanks Marie :)

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Susanna aka Happyologist :)

Totally agree with you Kristen – I had exactly the same experiences!

The more I let go of perfectionism (alongside fear of failure AND fear of success), the more I saw the real me come out in everything I did.

This definitely led to a new courage for me to sell myself more authentically and not be afraid to ask for help from other people who’ve been in the industry longer. It has completely shifted how I approach my business and I totally love it!

P.S. It also meant I got the courage to finally write my first book – which is going to be released in the autumn! :D

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Granville Louw

The dangers of “big”:
The challenge for a lot of us is that when we go about our lives, we interact with so many “big” things and we forget or don’t even know how they originally started. It’s difficult to understand how the evolutionary process of products and brands contributes and is vital to what they are today. We also all have big aspirations and want to get there fast.

I’ve personally made the mistake of trying to jump to “big” too soon many times before: the goal of my previous startup was to kill the business card, and we struggled to execute effectively on a much smaller scale. I think there are probably countless other examples out there where founders try to have an immediately huge vision.
Great things start small

What I’m starting to notice more and more, is that great things almost always start small. Most of us know that Richard Branson started the Virgin brand with a student magazine, but Virgin is just one of many examples which shows that the reality is counterintuitive: actually, the best things we know and love started as tiny things.

I’ve found that if I look into my own life, I find similarly that some of the most important achievements I’ve made started as little projects. Buffer itself is a great example: it started as a two-page website, and the short blog post describing this process has turned into a talk I’ve given more than 30 times.

Make it smaller: you’re more likely to succeed

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Lisa Robbin Young

My first workshop was 3 people in a fairly large hotel room. They all paid about $700, so I didn’t lose money, but it was barely a break-even event after food, room rental, and the videographer I hired to film the event. I still have that footage, but my hair’s not blonde anymore, so it’s not like I could ever use it.

The good news is that people heard about that event, and how value packed it was, and my business has grown a lot since then. People talk. And being professional regardless of the size or nature of the thing you’re working on is important.

Professional doesn’t mean perfect. In fact, in recent months, I’ve found that authenticity beats perfection every time.

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Emelia

Great point, Lisa. Professional doesn’t mean perfect. It only means you intend to and deliver value. Reframing it really helps the fear of so-called failure.

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Kristen the Passion Plan Coach

“Authenticity beats perfection every time” — That’s a Tweetable right there!

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Jill Carnduff

On your wavelength Kirsten – I’ll tweet that !!

Loving your words, just have to repeat them “Professional doesn’t mean perfect. In fact, in recent months, I’ve found that authenticity beats perfection every time.”

Transparency and being authentic, seems like the world these days is really resonating with these characteristics. Inspiring me to follow suit.

Lisa just listened to your Beyonce song on your website – wow, the emotional connection you make is powerful – must investigate your “300 Songs” project….great stuff!

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Stede Barber

Wonderful sharing, Lisa, thank you! Somehow I was thinking, “Oh, good, I’m not really dealing with perfectionism”…until I read your comment and there it is, in full bloom…realizing I haven’t moved forward on many ideas because of my high visions of what they are supposed to look like! Now for some fun nurturing “first times”…

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Anis

Awesome, well done! I like that, professional doesn’t mean perfect. Keep soaring!

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Marvette

Thank you for sharing about your first workshop experience! That is really inspiring for someone like me who is just starting out. It’s helpful to know and be reminded that everyone has to start somewhere and that things will change as you keep going.

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Bobbie

Authenticity – so true, especially in handmade custom work!

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Elloa

Wow Lisa.. My first online course is running NOW and I’ve made no money from it. I am loving every minute though – even the challenges – and most of all I’m just grateful to be DOING it!

The course, 21 Days to See Relationships Differently, came to me in a flash of inspiration (after years of mulling things over) and I’m doing my best to deliver the heck out of it, but no doubt one day my ego will try to convince me that it’s sucky. I won’t listen though.

And I really am starting to get that pro doesn’t mean perfect. I’ve done my utmost to be ME and it’s reflecting in the amazing 54 peeps on the course showing up and sharing with vulnerability, accountability and bravery that I could only have wished for.

Thanks for sharing, you and everyone x

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Bre

“Authenticity beats perfection every time!”
This is so so SO true, and something that I feel I need to print out and post on the wall above my desk. I’m very much a type A, perfectionist personality and it has continued to hold me back from what I truly want to do with my life; own my own marketing business.
I have the education and experience but continue to hold myself back always feeling I’m missing skills I need, or don’t have enough to offer and am intimidate by those in the market place who already exist and are rocking it.
“Authenticity beats perfection every time” … need to take that one to heart. Thanks! :)

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Emelia

OK, Marie. Get out of my damn head. Looks like I will be holding my first workshop in fall. No more excuses.

I’ll declare it here and let the MarieTV community hold me accountable. 0_0

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Kristen the Passion Plan Coach

Woohoo! You got this, girl :) What kind of workshop?

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Emelia

Thanks, Kristen. :) Probably on the redefinition of having it all and what it really takes. :)

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Jill Carnduff

Hey Emelia, she does in your head, doesn’t she? :-)

You’ve inspired me, gonna go out on a limb and also declare to this great community that i’ll be doing my first workshop this Autumn (as they say here in Scotland).

Love your bio btw – and you write beautifully. Looking forward to hearing progress on your workshop!!

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Emelia

Thanks, Jill!

Sandy

Yes do it!

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Emelia

Thanks, Sandy. :)

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Lisa Robbin Young

Sign me up! :-)

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Emelia

Thanks, Lisa. Love this community. <3

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Osha Key

Yay! You can do it! ;)

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Emelia

Thank you, Osha. :)

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Lisa

YES EMELIA!!!! just go for it! My sister and I just had our first market this weekend, I was absolutely petrified selling my art and jewellery, but I did it!
Got loads of email sign-ups and huge interest, even though sales weren’t as great as expected.

My first sucky event is over!!! onwards and upwards from here. Wooohooo!

Best of luck Emelia, you’ll be great!

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Emelia

Good for you, Lisa. I will definitely do so. :)

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Ani KaShawn

Emelia I totally agree she’s in my head. Marie is a great copy writer! So I going to put myself on blast and get out of perfectionism! I’m starting my workshop this fall! Thanx ladies for sharing your stories very inspiring.

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Emelia

She certainly is! Keep me posted on how your workshop is progressing. :)

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Wendy Reese, whole being inc

Emelia, one of my fondest lessons from grad school professor, Henry Mosley, was, “”Think big. Start small. Act now.” You’ve declared the workshop. Now, start talking about it. Build momentum. You got this!

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Emma Weise

Marie… So awesome, reassuring, and inspiring!
I was about to say that not having a clear idea of what I wanted to do – really held me back… but the truth is that perfectionism (and a not so healthy) dose of fear can really hold a girl back!

Now that I am splitting my websites out (one for corporates and one for people who want to live a purpose filled life)… I am renewed by the big dreams I have for each… and I will push past my fears, and will start taking ACTION

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Cat Knott

Hi Emma,
Just remember, without that action those big dreams will just stay as dreams!
Marie’s really hit a home run with the film this week – perfectionism is another word for procrastination! Get out there with those massive ideas – I LOVE your website.

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Emelia

Absolutely! Thanks, Wendy. :)

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Karen J

Love that, too, Emelia: ”Think big. Start small. Act now.”
Thank Professor Mosley for all of us, too!

Lots of poster-worthy lines here, today :)

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Nadjejda

Awesome, go for it and you’ll be great!

I had my first one last year and I was a nervous wreck but I really enjoyed it and everyone who came got what they needed. One thing that has helped me in letting go of nervousness and all is that I’ve really gotten that it’s not about me but those I’m called to serve. My prayer before each of my events is always for God to allow me to be the love and light that I am and for me to share those with all who attend. And I also ask that I be used as a vessel to give each person who comes exactly what they need.

You got this, love and light! :)

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Emelia

Very true, Nadjejda. As long as we’re serving, it’s allllllll good. :)

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Stede Barber

Light ahead, Emelia!

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Emelia

Thanks, Stede. :)

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Marvette

If you speak it, it will happen! I can’t wait to hear more about it.

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Ms. Pillowz

I can’t even LIST how many the things that I haven’t finished for fear that it wasn’t perfect. I suffer from perfectionism, you see. http://www.bigdivahq.com/2013/10/the-struggle-of-perfection.html Dr. Brene Brown defines it as, “Perfectionism is a way of thinking that if I look perfect, live perfect, and work perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism, blame, and ridicule.” She goes on to say that it, “truncates the size of your life….It’s keeping us from being hurt, but really it keeps us from being seen.”

I’m learning how to ship it: just put it out there. You can always go back and edit later. The message is what is most important. Your purpose is not to learn and keep it to yourself. People need to hear it. That helps me get through and press “Publish”. So far, I have no regrets about not checking something for the 7th time. lol

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Wendy Reese, whole being inc

Ya know, a good VA could help with the editing. Frees you to do more of your magic!

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Fayamanda

Thank you, I really needed to hear this today.

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Trish

Oh how this post speaks to me. I am the Queen of perfectionist paralysis. I finally used brute force to start a website so that SOMETHING was up there and I could start building my list but now I’m putting off creating products to sell because I’m nervous about getting the ball rolling and not doing it absolutely right. *sigh* Time to get moving – today in fact! Thanks for the nudge ;-)

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Marvette

Trish, I can relate! I’m nervous about putting out products because the only people on my list are friends and family. But we just need to push through and get started. It will all work out!

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Trish

I hear ya on the friends and family! I like to remind myself that my friends and family are probably more likely to buy my stuff than strangers. Yay for high conversion rates! : )

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Johanna

Morning Marie,

Oh goodness was this post timely. Do I have things I don’t do because I think of people who have done them wayyyy better? Oh yell yes.

Right now, I’m sitting on reaching out to Kara Goucher ( an Olympic athlete) who just launched her first retreat (http://www.karagoucher.com/podium-retreats-with-kara-goucher/)

I want to be the nutrition coach at her next retreat to teach runners HOW to eat better, ways to incorporate better, more nutrient dense food, time management tips to make breakfast a no-brainer and ways to get kitchen inspired.

But right now, I’m totally fearing her saying no to me. Thanks for the motivation to just go do it.

xx Johanna

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Michelle Alcon Wellness

You’ve got this, girlfriend!

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Jacqueline

Oh Johnna, you must reach out to her!!!
Offer something to her that’s of value to her, not just hey I’d love to be the nutrition coach on your retreat. A sincere compliment and support for what she is doing can begin your process of “natural networking” with her.

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Eve Soban

Johanna,

I have huge dreams as well, and they terrify me just like yours :D

But I realize every now and then that those thoughts, those dreams, they are in our heads because we can do them, not by accident. The Universe is not going to waste its time dumping data in the wrong vehicle.

I think of Moses too on those occasions when I’m really fighting with myself. But the task came to him, it was his an noone else’s and it’s the same with our tasks. They come to us because we HAVE to do them :)

And here is another article that gave me a nice little kick in the butt this week :) http://petsittingology.com/putting-up-38k-for-conference-scares-me/

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Stede Barber

Johanna…keep us posted! Your ideas sound fabulous…

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Karo

Never compare your inside to someone else’s outside. Once you embrace this notion, you won’t be held back.

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Elloa

Karo, this is one of my all time fave notions. I have compared how I think I look on the inside to others’ outsides for YEARS and it never ends well ;)

Thank you for sharing. x

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Osha Key

OMG this video is so spot on!! It’s crazy how long I’ve been hesitating to make videos for youtube.. I’d film and never publish…

About a month ago I somehow managed to make myself film and publish regularly (they are inspired a lot by MarieTV, I must say! ;) )

I just put up with the fact that it’s impossible to become good at something without practicing it! There’s just no way around it. And my intuition has been screaming to me that I need to make videos to spread my message.

I know a year from now I’ll be rolling my eyes and cringing watching my old videos, but that’s OK. Everyone needs to start somewhere.

Thanks for your never-ending inspiration and wisdom :)

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Anna

Well said Osha and so liberating- you can be good at something without practicing.
I’ll will for sure keep that in mind cringing at my own videos. And know what in few months I’ll deliberately watch the old ones and note even small things I’ve improved on.

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Marvette

“it’s impossible to become good at something without practicing it!” I love that! That’s so true. I’ve been struggling also with wanting to put up videos on YouTube but you have inspired me to just do it. Thanks

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Osha Key

Go Marvette! You can do it! We all have to start somewhere… It’s impossible to wake up one day being the greatest video personality ever! Marie didn’t start with Marie TV as it is today! It was never sucky, but definitely not so polished and professional as it is today.
You can do it!! <3

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Lane

This is perfect! My first workshop was also in a basement and I was so nervous that I sped through by 2 hour presentation in under an hour! But if I hadn’t done that (and survived ;) I wouldn’t have successfully nailed the dozens of live workshops I’ve done since then. And I’m doing my first ONLINE class starting this week, which is a new level of small & sucky – but at least I’m not stucky. Woot! :)

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Marvette

Congratulations!!!

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Janet R. Chamberlain

I just started running a Foodie Meetup in Charlotte, NC. and my parents have FAITHFULLY attended each event! They have been amazingly supportive. So glad to hear that you had a similar situation in your beginnings.

Thanks for everything you do and for continually motivating me to take things further!

-Janet
followjanet.com

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Melanie Martin - Tailor Made Translation

I have started doing videos just recently… they are not perfect, but they are done and by doing them and (gulp) posting them, I actually find that I am not as sucky at it as I thought.

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Silvia Ortiz Miñarro

Fellow translator here. I visited your webpage and I loved it. Are you videos there?

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Silvia Ortiz Miñarro

your videos*

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Annmarie

Today’s video could not have been better timed! I recently (in the last 10 days) launched my third business (anniejacksondesign) and decided to go for it before it was perfect, unlike what I did with my first 2 biz’s. It’s not sucky, but it is far from perfect and its definitely small — but I started it and tell myself everyday that I’m working out the bugs live – with other people’s help and feedback, which is not something you can do when you keep it quiet and all to yourself. Thanks Marie — a great video, as always.

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Bethany

I look back at my ‘baby DIY website’ from 6 months ago and cringe and I’m sure in 6 months time I will look back on my ‘toddler DIY website’ from today and cringe. But that age old wisdom of needing to crawl before you walk definitely applies to business (and life in general)!

Here’s to crawling!

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Anna

Here’s to crawling wise Lady!

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Doc Waller

I’m a sailor.

Kidding :)

This episode really hits home with my personal philosophy – but it’s always good to hear someone else say it. Good stuff, Marie!

– DOC
http://www.thedocwaller.com

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isabel

Hi Doc….nice to meet ya!

Just checked out your site and am loving your work! The mini album you have is totally inspiring to listen and I absolutely love track 8 Congratulations! Thanks for having me find you…… ;-)

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Doc Waller

Why thank you, Isabel!

I really appreciate you taking the time to reach out with those kind words. It’s always great to know that people are inspired by my work. Extra special that it connected with someone here or Marie’s site – cause she inspires me!

Don’t be a stranger! Feel free to follow/connect with me on FB/Twitter or by email. Ciao!

– Doc

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Karen

Marie, I just wrote a blog post on this exact subject and was hesitating to post it because it’s about the worst piece of writing I ever did. Back at the beginning of my fiction writing, years ago, I wrote something that was so embarrassing. Luckily at the time I didn’t realise how horrible it was, and I even read it aloud to some people, in the hope that they would see that writing is about freedom. They just looked on in surprise and horror! In time I began to realise how intensely bad that piece of writing was, and how liberated it had made me. I felt I had permission to write every thought, feeling, sense and idea, with no discrimination or critiquing (during first draft.) That’s the gift I want to give all my writing students. Even if it means now I will share that horribly daggy piece of writing! Thank you for inspiring me to post it.

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Lauren-Miranda

How liberating! Thanks for sharing.

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Katie

Oh man, is this a timely post for me. Thank you, thank you! First, I love the Tweetable!! Second, is there something I am stopping myself from doing because I’m not willing to be anything less than perfect? Yes. Amen. My example currently is that I’m working to implement a huge marketing automation software project at my work and we’re starting from scratch. It’s daunting but I know it will be worth it. I often get stuck in the weeds and paralyzed because I just want it to be SO good that I’m frozen by fear. That being said, I’ve learned good enough is better than not at all. :)

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amanda

This totally resonates with me. i have tried a lot of things and done a lot of trainings, always enthusiastic to put my new skills into practice to serve people (huge crowds were always the goal, too, of course). Fitness instructing, life coaching workshops, group coaching tele-classes, all with varying success in terms of attendance, but I always tell myself, at least I am out there. At least I am living fully. At least I am trying.

I feel like I’ve finally found my sweet spot, which entails incorporating all aspects of my professional background. It feels right. But I FIRMLY believe, I never would have gotten here if I hadn’t attempted all the things I attempted to date.

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Eleanor

Wonderful video Marie!

I’ve been holding myself back from moving to my dream city [in a foreign country] because I want to have a good job and set-up beforehand. Unfortunately, because I’m seeking perfect, I have not been open to other possibilities such as take any job to get there and use it as a trampoline or move and find a job once there.

Cringeworthy:
Actually, I loved that you did your workshop – so cute and energetic! My cringeworthy was having my first art exhibit at a friend’s warehouse space because he’d gotten so sick of seeing me hold back, he told neighbors and people on street that he was holding an opening at the end of the month – so I HAD to finish and show the paintings. Actually, I was really excited and SO Happy my friend had twisted my arm – the result was a great show that got me exhibiting, excited about possibilities and helped me break away from closet artist.

Yeah Marie, and thanks – your content is as fantastic as ever!

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Ashley, the Italian Travel Expert

I frequently give talks at local libraries about Italian life, culture and travel. Sometimes my audience is…. interesting. Once the mini bus from the local senior center pulled up. I was their field trip! I chalk it up to experience, getting in front of a crowd, honing my presentation skills and learning what works and what doesn’t for that big mega event that is coming soon!

I will say that I am stuck in perfection paralysis when it comes to the e-books I want to write. I need to just start.

Thanks Marie for always making my Tuesday morning fabulous!

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claire stone

That’s totally amazing that you were some elderly peeps’ field trip – hurrah!!! Get those ebooks started – I published mine recently and it was a revelation. You CAN do it!

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Ashley, the Italian Travel Expert

Thanks Claire! Most of them slept through it but the lights were low and it was right after lunch so I get it ;-) . My feeling is if I can provide them with even a little entertainment, it is totally worth it, even if it is not part of my business plan! Thanks for the kick in the butt for the ebooks. I am going to hunker down and get it done!

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claire stone

Fab job – I’m gonna sit here and wait for you to tell me that the very rough first draft is done!

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claire stone

Dammmmmm, all my excuses for not yet launching my Big Poop Solution program all just got flushed down the pan.

Great video and a fab message – thank you!

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Tina Pruitt

I was stuck in this perfection paralysis (and the creative cul-de-sac) for a long time just a few years back! Wow…that sucked more than just DOING something to get myself started! I am so happy to report that I no longer have PP or CC and life is great – big ups to you girl! Thanks for the love…

Tina :)

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Laura Dornbusch

Marie, you are always so refreshing! I typically get or give energy when I am actually with people, but rarely from the internet or TV. You are one of two people who give me energy! I am disappointed in myself when I do not gift myself the time to watch your informative and energizing messages. Thank you for being you! But more importantly, sharing yourself so transparently and helping me give myself permission to not always be perfect. And now….

I need to go be small and sucky, but certainly not stucky!!!

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Cassie

You sure hit the button for me on this one! I have procrastinated for too long. My first 2 day workshop is in August; its a Work Ready program for young people aged 16-13yrs to increase confidence and self worth. As a result they’ll be clear on what their natural strengths are, where/how they add value and be able to articulate it :-) Whuhoooo!

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Lauren Stahl, Founder SPARKITE

Thanks so much for sharing this, Marie! It is so inspiring to see how far you’ve come from that first workshop with 5 people! It is all about being courageous which you really touched upon.

This mentality has helped me to start SPARKITE (www.sparkite.com). Here, users SPARK what they want to be held accountable to and choose the days/time of the week they want their accountability email. The idea is to help them unlock the power and love within. People in 40 countries and 6 continents are SPARKING everything from working on their business, finding their passion, staying sober, meditating, and the list goes on. Join the journey with me @ http://www.sparkite.com.

Lots of love!!

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Laura | Life & Biz Coach

Years ago my first workshop had zero attendees :(
At least I tried!

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Anna

Yeeey Laura, same here- we managed to beat Marie ha ha ha.

My first workshop = nobody. I lost €75 on renting the place. It turned out to be the hottest day here in Dublin, no surprise nobody turned up, hot day are so rare here.

Usually it would crush me and make crawl under the bed. This time, with help of my wise friend we went to…celebrate! I said to her “it was not a failure, it was a €75 business coaching on what not to do. One business slap down, which means one less to go :)”

Keep going all

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Cat Knott

“One business slap down, which means one less to go :)”
What a great statement – love it! Well done for keeping out from under the bed, I think it’s brillinat you went out to celebrate. We all need wise friends at times like those

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Kendra Tanner

Same here! Whew, I’m not the only one! :) Was a great lesson for me about enjoying the process and not being tied to the outcome. The process was fab… got to experiment with marketing materials and met really cool people while hanging up posters/flyers, and realized it’s always good to bring a sign when having an event outdoors in a park on a gorgeous summer evening. Who knows, maybe I had loads of turnouts but they decided to play volleyball instead because I didn’t have a sign :)

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Rachel

Seriously needed this episode today!

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CAPT Steven Lucks USN

I liked your short video BZ Navy term for job well done.
I know I am not perfect so I don’t get stuck on this idea.

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Jamie Csizmadia

Thanks a ton Marie! I’m a landscape architect who specializes in creating custom outdoor living spaces and indigenous landscapes for residential clients. One year ago I decided that it’s time for me to guide, teach, and activate the masses to create habitat in their own backyards. I developed a pioneering service module and associated experiential workshop called “The Pocket Prairie Garden: How To Bring Nature Home”. After promoting the event this past winter for several months, I had only 2 people register and attend, yet I taught the workshop like there were 100 people in the audience. I continue to develop this module and workshop, and I instinctually know it will soar at some point (I just happen to be at the super-front end of it)! Plus, the work I’m putting into it is developing into a book. So teach that badass workshop regardless of who shows up. My dad would say, “It’ll put hair on your chest.” :)

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Karen J

Love your program-idea, Jamie! I’d definitely be more than passing interested!

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Karen J

… and I’d certainly buy the book based on “Backyard Foraging: Eat the Weeds” – because even though I’m near Chicago and you’re in Oklahoma, there are enough non-native “weeds” all over the Midwest that I’m sure I’ve got the same things in *my* yard!

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Nofisa

Hey Marie,

What a great video and right on track since I am hosting my first workshop this weekend and I have yet to have anyone buy a ticket but I wont give up I have much to share with the world. I will be there with my easel, flip chart pad, markers and biscuits.

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Claudia

Marie, a good friend told me about your cool videos and ideas about mentoring. Have to say that I just read your email about waiting to start til things are ‘perfect’ and that about sums up my entire career as a songwriter!

I’ve won two songwriting awards in the past few years, that were on the strength of demos I recorded myself and didn’t think were ‘good enough’ but I’m still trying to break my barrier down to being able to let myself release the album! the plan is this year and I am forcing myself to follow through – but I’ve been setting dates then letting them slide for quite a few years. When the kids are older, when I have more money, when I’m a better songwriter – I actually think P for perfection should actually be P for procrastination! I always manage to write a new song, when I’m supposed to be figuring out my business plan!

To be fair I have been learning an awful lot, and I think I’m writing better songs now thanks to coaching and lots of writing, but also appreciate that life is short, and there may never be a perfect circumstance where every single star is aligned.

Thanks a bunch for your articles and this awesome community, will keep on reading and trying, I know if others can do it, so can I. Hopefully soon :)

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Carradee

*hears last line* O.o Wot? *rewinds and plays it again*

*bursts out laughing*

One of the things I love about your videos, Marie, is that they always bring a smile, if not a giggle or outright laugh.

Your videos provide intellectual and emotional pick-me-ups in ±5 minutes. What’s not to like?

Thank you!

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Brett

Thank you so much for this. Many people tell me how productive I am, and how successful I’ve been, and yet, I DON’T feel that way at all. I am always feeling like I need to do more and I need to do it better. I don’t necessarily not do things, but I do beat myself up all of the time about how I’m not doing things well enough or good enough. That I’ll never be as big as I want to be or as successful as I hope.

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Bernetta

It’s funny that this hit my email today because I want to book a venue to hold my first workshop, “How to Start a Blog”. I plan to host it at a library and make it a 2 hour event. I have hosted things before but nothing where I literally had to TALK ALONE for two hours. I am excited and up for the challenge!

Enjoyed this post and it gives me even more motivation to make it happen!
Thanks Marie… Love your videos!

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Dana Lichtstrahl

Love that vid Marie! I’ve produced & facilitated a public speaking training for kids the past 3 yrs (SPEAKOLOGY)… and just gave my 1st workshop to a group of 3 ADULTS (insideout…bettering the internal dialogue for our external life)!, now due to give my 2nd workshop to ADULTS, (taking registration now :)! So inspired to hear this train I’m drivin’ just might pick up speed! YAAAAY!

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Barbara Sinclair

I think that when you’re an introvert AND a perfectionist, it’s a double whammy recipe for staying stuck. It took me until my late 50’s to really start becoming a LITTLE comfortable with putting myself out there. My first workshop had 3 people and one of them just came to bring someone else who was too ill to come on her own. I can finally laugh about it. It was bad!

Marie, this video is going to help so many of us. Thank you! (And I LOVE your dress – it’s my favorite color!) xo

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Benya

I think that being introvert is your own character whilst being a perfectionist is influenced by the outside world. So being an introvert is ok, because you don’t have to show yourself out there. And when you do it, other people should honor it double because you put yourself out there, even when you’re an introvert.
Anyway, great that you get a bit more comfortable. Me, too I had to learn that in lessons from extroverts.

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Kezia

Love this! I. Just starting out and this has out my mind at ease- yes I have big dreams but just have got to start somewhere not wait till perfection happens. I have been putting off investing some money into my website until everything is perfect and putting off planning my own workshop – both are going into motion this week!

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Ophelie

I like this episode, that came perfect time! The response of the universe to my being in stuck because did not get the response I was hopping for with my website launch. Already in doubts that it was not perfect and today not moving forwards thinking it is useless. After the basement story I am feeling that I am going to let my creative side come up again and move on! And be happy with the 20 subscribers on my list! :-)

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Maureen

Marie–
Because of you and your B School, I did start out small, hopefully not too sucky– but I am sure the bumps are out there—
Thanks for all of your enCOURAGEment— gotta love your vibe– it is making me happy.
Mo Faul—

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Mair

Like you Marie, I was 23 when I started my first company – a sales agency in the gift industry. Over 17 years I grew it to many millions.
I’ve now started over as a Wellness Consultant. (I was at the May IIN conference!) I want to build an on-line presence too. In June I started Wellness Wednesdays – a free tele-workshop every Wednesday where I talk about one of the Seven Dimensions of Wellness. I LOVE doing it! I’m learning so much. And some weeks, it’s only me on the phone….
But like you, I’m professional. I do them with all my passion and if no one is listening live, I am growing nice content for my website and possibly a podcast series. (www.mairhill.com)

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Susan Suehr

So wonderful that those that loved you supported you in that small workshop. Having gratitude for them really helps get one out of that stuck place.

Here is something more important. After you take that step, be careful to take honest critiques that are meant to grow you and implement. Take that inner critic and make them unimportant. For giving mind or thought service to them can stop you from as beautiful momentum.

Susan

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Lindsay

I enjoyed this video very much!! I’m still at the beginning stages of getting my blog out there, and when I started sharing it, some people were like yeah, no. I’m still at it and although it’s moving at a slower pace then I would like, it’s progressing everyday. I call it “the little blog, with huge potential.” Nothing is going to stop me from pursuing my dream.

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Mimika Cooney

I’m so stucky feeling sucky and have paralysed myself into inaction. Thanks for the inspiration Marie I’m going to take the brave step and just do it!

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Heather May

This is totally precious. I loved the little crossed out checklist lame workshop. I agree with others: I’ve noticed that in the past few weeks the vids have been alarmingly coincidental as to what is going on in my own head! I was just reviewing a “better-than-me” colleague in my area of coaching interest before the email for this came in, and admiring with despair at how great he was (and how I’m so not there yet). I swear, the Universe works in mysterious ways. There is room for all of us to be great, no matter where we are in the process. ;)

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Kelsie

This happens to me all the time. There are two major things that I have not been willing to do because of this. I want the work that I put out to be perfect and over coming this has been something I have been working on in the last few months. First thing I’m going to do is send out my email newsletter. I find myself always tweaking and revising, I need to just send out the first couple letters and keep writing. I will be come more comfortable the more I do it. Secondly, I want to hold regular gatherings to bring my clients together and begin to create a community around my business. These socials scare me! I am afraid that things will fall apart and I will disappoint people when and if they show up. I have this huge dream and just like you my first gathering will probably be pretty lame with only a few people. Thank you for reminding me that its okay to suck but it will give me momentum. Awesome episode!

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Catherine | Fit Armadillo

Great video and message, Marie! I’ve started very small-I do my online fitness sessions from my 2 BR apartment and I don’t have professional video equipment for my sample videos that I send clients for their monthly fitness plans.

I was stuck not wanting to really get out there and move my business to the online sphere (where I really want to be to reach more people!) because of my less than Hollywood producer worthy set-up. I finally started leaving the perfectionism behind and it’s been great! I’ve gotten back some of my awesome old clients (one is bringing her fiance along this week for a buddy Skype session!), I’ve started working with people all over the world (my first client in Denmark will start working with me next month!), and I couldn’t be more excited.

One day I will probably get someone in here to help me get perfect lighting and sound, but for now it is working for my clients just fine. I did go to an event a few weeks back and when I told the other ladies what I did they were so caught up in the fact that I don’t have a studio for my sessions, but I had to remind myself (and this video helped) that I’m DOing this! It’s working. I want the perfect space, but if I wait for that I won’t be able to do what I love now.

Thanks for another awesome video, Marie!

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Eve Soban

Thank you for giving a name to my lifelong “cool attitude” … you see, I always though I was cool for not engaging with things unless I could do them at 100% and with full confidence.

Perfectionism Paralysis is such a PERFECT (lol) label for it. The words will ring in my head from now on when I find myself doing it.

I have an excuse for my PP that I wonder if others have and how to attach it.

I panic, have anxiety and overheat mentally when I dare myself into doing something that is not “ready” just yet. I have the courage to jump, but I shit my pants while flying :)

So I tell myself, what’s the point of doing this half-ass if it’s only going to bring me so much stress and grief. Better wait and get it near ready at least and THEN go for it so I can enjoy it and have my wits about me while doing it.

What do you guys think about that?

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Najat

Wow, that was a great analogy about jumping and flying!!!

I think that you should always give it your BEST shot before you start small. Then, when you know you’re giving it the very best, you won’t have time to be worried about what you’re lacking-you’ll be exhilirated.

We can NEVER start with our PEAK performance, but when we do start, even though it’s our best for the baby step, we have to keep in mind that we will grow from this point. Some people may not believe they will grow from that first step and will be too scared to do ANYthing.

I hope this makes sense…Lol!

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Nikki

Woah! Exactly what I needed to hear right now;)

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Jennifer

Thanks needed that today!

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daniel

So perfect indeed move on iam so touched marie, woah! and there for these messages are great and touchy, give some more.

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Mary Ellen

I am stuck right now (and have been for a while) with a product-based business. I don’t think my stuff is very good compared to others. I also have some designs out that I’m afraid a big company will steal since I’m a nobody right now in the industry.

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Mike G.

You might stay a nobody if you don’t try…

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Mary Ellen

I know, Mike. And I am trying. Probably not hard enough.

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Francine

Mary Ellen, I just checked out your site and really liked your stuff! I don’t do scrapbooking myself, but I so appreciate all the beauty in your work, such as that winter scrapbook you did, as well as the time it takes to do it! I just wanted to encourage you that if you truly enjoy your work, and you seem to, you have all the strength inside to know that the love you have for your work can fill you just by itself without needing to compare it to others. Have you ever thought about doing more videos and sharing them in places in addition to your site? The video you have up is so informative. Maybe if more of your clients were regularly inspired with all the cool things they could do with your materials, they’d respond in turn! Just some thoughts–keep your chin up and be kind to yourself–you deserve it! :)

Artemis Stiga

This thought was haunting me for many years! Actually it still kinda is, but I got better dealing with it! YOu can’t be perfect right from the biginning! Good said Marie!

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Benya

So relieving to hear from Marie that she started small, too!

Anf the lesson here learned for me is that after starting sucky you even get more confidence because you DID it no matter how much it sucked.

This is the point where I want to get, be courageous enough to suck :)

I’m a musician and I’m starting my art and creativity biz where I want to help people to get out of the corporate treadmill to have more energy for their art.
Now as I have to show myself to other people I feel ashamed that I have no testimonials on my website or that I have made no “connections” online yet.

My list contains 10 people. It’s a beginning…

This video helps me to get out of my comfort zone and show myself!

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Dawn

You nailed it Marie! Since quitting my corporate job almost one year ago I have really tried to get lots of sucky firsts out of the way! I did an essential oils workshop where I had three people, plus my mom and my friend Jodi. Not only did the projector not work, we had to gather around my laptop as I talked everyone through the slides as we sat on the floor at my yoga studio. But guess what? I’m now doing my first hands-on oils workshop and have eight people! AND randomly, am about to self publish my first children’s book! Yay for sucky firsts!

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Nathalie Bertrand

I do have done something in my past that I totally suck at. I was a recruiter for a BIG time company. They beleived that my experience in the industry (witch was in a totaly differents category) could be usefull. So they gave me that big account and left me alone in an office filled with the last guy files…. you cloud hear the crikets! I rolled up my sleeves, and started calling the clients… being myself without filters and appologizing for my suckyness… The most amazing thing happend….they loved it! I busted the targert rthey initially gave me. And thats where I discovered I was a natural coach and that my nich was actually recruiting and helping people find better jobs!

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Meagen Mackenzie

The timing of this video couldn’t be more perfect.

I started video blogging a few months ago, which was extremely difficult for me to even start because of perfection paralysis. Once I finally got over the P.P. Syndrome and started filming my video’s, I didn’t want to promote them for fear of being judged – I didn’t want anyone to think they sucked (that I sucked) because I was new at it. Silly, I know – what’s the point of filming video blogs if you don’t want anyone to see them.

But, it appears I’m not alone in this as many of you have experienced the same thing in some form or another. This is a good kick in the butt for me…time to get serious about promoting my video blog & be damn proud of my efforts and the work I’m doing.

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Renee

Hello Marie, thanks for the video. I had a two-hour talk with a coach regarding putting together a telesummit. After our two hour talk, I was so exhausted I took a nap. I was given a lot of good information but, I got scared. I thought I cannot do this. Things on the outside seemed easy, but, when she was coaching me, I knew I couldn’t be like her. Afterall, her first generated 3000 participants. A friend told me to go ahead and just cut back. Instead of 28 speakers (Like Her),. I had only 7 speakers and 157 people signed up. Since then I did another one which generated 197 people . Currently, I am planning my third TeleSummit. So for your readers, just do it. get out there. Be yourself. Thanks Marie.

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Kelly

Boom. So my first group health series had a whopping 7 enrollees. I seriously considered canceling but didn’t. Really glad I followed through even though I was supremely embarrassed and ashamed. Ashamed of what?! It was a kick butt program and those 7 ladies are now my biggest fans. THEY are advertising my next offering!! Whoop whoop!

Even having learned this lesson I had a major “oh crap” moment last weekend over what-if-that-happens-again. Thanks for the reminder that it all counts!!

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Iris

I’m so stuck in perfection that I’m challenged to even get started. Has anyone ever suffered from that ?? Uggghh!

Recently, as in December 2013, I decided that the business that I was trying to create just didn’t fill me up so I painfully decided to start over with something I really love talking about … women, 45 – 55ish, starting a new life after kids, divorce, death, the ones who are dying to do something new, inspiring and fun but not sure where to start.

I’m in the ‘creation’ stage but the flow from my divine download, you know! all the wonderful thoughts and ideas that are continually flowing through me, aren’t making it to paper. Again, uggghh!

So Marie, you know that little voice that says ‘OMG, I’ll never be as good as her! I get that!

A little every day. One day I can look back and laugh at how and where it all started

Thanks for all your inspiring and fun video’s.
iris

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Donna

Holy crap, I’m not sure if I’m terrified or thrilled to know that my “condition” has a name. Stagnation & paralysis sounds deadly, but with your encouragement I will find the cure! Now if Queen Perfecta would only leave me the hell alone!

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Natalie @ Whole Plate Wellness

I love the idea of getting your lame workshop out of the way!! I just did mine and it’s such a great reframe. Instead of feeling bad about myself (like I have been) that only two people showed up, I can hold my head high and say, yep, nailed it! Haha thanks Marie. You are always so inspirational and your videos always brighten my Tuesday!

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Mary

Hello Marie and everybody!

Oh gosh, I am glad you brought this up! I always have this issue. An even more bigger issue is that I always try to hide how sucky I was when I started. For example, I started singing at a very young age and went through a lot of auditions and sucky performances and recordings until where I am now where I can actually say that my voice has developed into something really interesting. However I cannot erase all those images and sounds I have produced in the past which makes me feel stuck because I am afraid of people seeing that and judging me only for that. Any tips on how to accept your past mistakes, on and off camera, you made and still keep going?

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Francine

Mary–If your recordings are private, it’s totally your choice whether you want to share them or not! :) If they’re already out in the public, you can always be the first to use them to reflect on your own journey and how far you’ve come, or to comment on them lightheartedly and use them to introduce people to your current stuff! We’ve all been through learning stages, and if people are truly going to judge us based on something we’ve done years ago, they’re probably not the people we really want to work with at this point in our lives anyway–at least that’s how I feel personally! :) Something that also helps me is to know that all that past stuff has made me who I am today–couldn’t be me without it, so therefore it has served a very important and valuable purpose in my life. We’re always allowed to continue evolving and growing, as long as we let ourselves do so. Hang in there!

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Siedah Mitchum Designs

Thanks Marie!

This is my motivation for today to continue to work on semi-perfecting my first webinar I plan to do end of the month. Everything is scary at first and doubt can sometimes creep in, but I always try to focus in on why I do what I do in the first place. That is to help people! That is all the motivation we need. :)

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Gordon Seirup

My first email address ever was IamAsailer@aol.com – yes I know I spelled it wrong, “IamAsailor” was taken… and yes, I am a sailor.

I have been subscribed since March, and with my predictably hectic schedule I have yet to actually watch a video before this one (cringe). The title of this one, and how it described exactly a place I commonly get stuck, finally got me to commit to those overwhelmingly burdensome 4 minutes of time. I’m glad I did. The sailor greeting was just a nice cherry on the sundae really.

I will be watching regularly from now on, and working through the backlog since March…

Thanks for the inspiration!

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Caylee

Marie! Your video came at the absolute perfect time! I was feeling down about not being an internet sensation within my first week of blogging (idiotic, I know!), but your story makes me see things in much better perspective. I have to develop the grit it takes to get past small and big failures, because I’ll never get to my future dream business if I give up at the beginning. Thank you for all of your awesome videos, Marie!

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Vanessa

Oh Marie. I neeeeeeded this! I just launched my first eCourse and only 2 people jumped in. I ended up giving a bunch of places out for free to pimp up the “feel” of success and every week as I created the content I lamented over whether it was successful or not. Perhaps I shouldn’t have bothered at all.

Watching this vid has guaranteed for me that I did the right thing. I dared to suck and now I AM out there and I can tick off “Launch first sucky eCourse” from my to do list. Yeehah. Now to improve and just keep at it huh?

Thanks for all that you do Marie!

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Tanisha Martin

Yes! It’s like when you first start your Facebook Page, and you’re the only one who has liked it, and you invite all of your friends and it’s a little embarrassing, but oh well, it’s a new Page – of course you’re the only one who has liked it! You have to invite anyway, better just do it now!

After attempting several programs that never happened because there were ZERO people in it, I did two virtual programs that finally had ONE attendee each – but I got to practice my delivery, hone my message, and used the recordings to resell later. Those are gone now, and I have had more people in my latest group coaching programs, and I have had people seek me out for coaching. My first speaking engagement outside of my own audiences was for free for a university classroom of 8 students plus the teacher. It was well received and an awesome experience!

I’m proud of all of these experiences – they were perfect for learning and growing, and I was actually doing something to move forward.

Just start, and the next opportunity, and the next, and the next will come!

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Marielle

This is so me!!! I’m in the process of launching an online mindstyle magazine, and I’ve just been stopping myself from launching because I’m afraid that it won’t live up to all those magazine that I admire. But if I don’t start, I’ll never know where I will end up. Thank you for this video! I’m going to kick *ss (my own way)!!

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Nancy

Yes! My first workshops were very small and often still are, but they’re always magical anyway.

The idea of starting small and possibly sucky is totally relevant to what I teach – I teach people who think of themselves as non-singers to sing. Being willing to start where you are, even if you’re scared (and most non-singers are TERRIFIED of singing!) is what it’s all about! You can’t learn or improve without first making some sound – and getting to know yourself wherever you’re currently at. It’s very exciting actually!

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Laura

Marie! I needed this today!! Perfection paralysis is my nemesis, especially when it comes to my store blog. I just don’t think it’s good enough and I struggle with writing the posts because they never come out the way I want them to. Just need to forge ahead and do the best I can! Practice makes perfect, right?

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Brittany

This post was perfect for me. Currently, I am working on producing a weekly vlog and of course, my models are people like Marie, Mason and Gabrielle. I keep reminding myself to do me, and that it doesn’t have to be fancy. The lighting and sound are great so that’s the most important thing. I know in time I will most likely get fancier but I am excited to just DO IT! To learn as I go and to GROW. Thanks Marie! I needed this one today!

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Tamara

Thanks, Marie – this was amazing – I always look forward to my Tuesday a.m. dose of MarieTV.

I am struggling with some of these things. Running my own business, I am going for it, but grapple with the darkness – lack of compass. I so admire what you’ve done on your own. I want to know more about how you went from that basement seminar to the Marie we see today – was it your mentors? Education? Exposure? Vision? Whatever it was, you did done good!

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Chelsea

Oh man. The only thing I love more than this week’s video is that dress you are rockin’. Love love love! Thank you Marie :)

I am in the very beginning stages of setting up a photography business so every step I make feels slightly cringe-worthy. I am in the most vulnerable stage BUT I keep putting one foot in front of the other because of inspiration from ladies like you!

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Rachel

Chelsea I love your comment – I can totally relate to each step being cringe worthy! I am working on getting a business started and I feel the same way. But it is sure encouraging to know other ladies are feeling the same way. Also, Marie thanks for reminding me that it’s supposed to be kinda sucky the first time around ;)

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Colene

I never considered myself a perfectionist until I started my business. Then it took me 6 months to publish my website. I was PAYING for it every month, but just could not hit publish until I thought it was perfect. Literally one day I woke up and thought, “enough!!! It will never be perfect, but no one will be able to find you if you’re the only person who can see your site.” I hit publish that day.

I still have little hints of perfection paralysis when I develop a new program, but I’ve learned to have pep talks with myself and move on. PLUS my brother is my number on fan and will keep me accountable for things I say I’m planning to do.

My first workshop had 5 people too. It was at a public library, and the demographic was the complete opposite of what I thought it would be. It was FUN, and a learning experience!
Coaching is still such a new concept in KY, so I’m kinda breaking ground here. Super fun though!

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Erika Madden

It took me 6 months to publish my website, too! Just like you, one day I finally had enough. It had to go live. Otherwise I’d still be stuck in obscurity, obsessively tweaking pixel sizes!

Here’s to just DOING it! :)

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Peter

Thanks Marie. So true! I’ve written everything I need to write – even made corrections – one or two more adjustments to make – then omg: the video!!! I look and sound like an old fogey, as if I’m more likely to drop dead than get to the end! So I’ve erased it and I’m going to do it again. But it still feels really scary and I could have launched two months ago!

I love what you’re doing in encouraging everyone, and all the comments your people send in are about encouragement and support. It’s such a beautiful thing that’s going on in your circle, but I can’t see myself having the energy any more to handle everything like you and all the younguns can. So I still have nothing to handle, cause I haven’t got started!

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Erika Madden

The best thing about starting sucky is that you can only look more fabulous in time. ;) It’s a great confidence-builder!

I really have to get myself in gear on putting out some videos. I know they’re going to be awful at first, but I believe it’s more awful not to try.

BTW Marie, I’ve been meaning to tell you that your new video branding is so fresh and professional. I adore the new intro! Kudos to your team!

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Ketina

I know I started out stucky. It was great though. I learned a lot by being in that moment of stuckiness. I finally publish my youtube videos in March and I have become more active on Facebook and being inspired by others which is my motivation for doing great things. Like Doreen Virtue says, invest at least 1 hour a day working on your spiritual business(this can apply to any business). You will see results. I like how Marie ends her videos every single time stating that the world needs that special someone. It is true it is you. There is plenty of room for everyone to have a business and grow. We are heading into a cooperative environment and leaving behind a competitive one. In others, don’t get too upset if someone has an idea that you came up with. You were too slowly creating that idea and so the Angels(whoever) gave it to someone else. When an idea(s) flow through your head pay attention to them and begin working out the details and execute them out by acting on them. The world really needs you.
HP Ketina C. L. Thompson, author of Celestial Serendipity and clairvoyant spiritual teacher who is working on her Doctor of Div.

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Jeff

This is actually brilliant simple advice, Marie. I teach screenwriting and the creative process and I remember my very first workshop, 15 years ago. There were about 12 people in attendance and I was terrified — self-doubt buzzing in my head. I think my biggest fear was that someone else would know more about the subject than I did, and point out a mistake in front of the group. Ironically, there was a woman in attendance who had produced several films (so she probably knew more than me about some aspects of it), and she told me I was “giving away” all my power by not charging enough for what I was presenting. :) It’s amazing how our fears are so misplaced sometimes.

One thing I’d point out, though, is that all these years later, the perfectionism bug still looms large. I haven’t been able to shake it. In fact, it was particularly bad this year as I was creating a new video series on YouTube. Just the thought of creating for “a potentially global audience” can bring the self-doubts out in force. So I devised a strategy to help myself overcome it. In addition to creating the “perfect” series (the one I was setting out to create), I’d also create a companion series that’s deliberately “imperfect”. That way, I could focus on doing the quality work, but I’d also have an outlet for just letting my hair down, so to speak.

So I humbly offer this suggestion as maybe an addendum to Marie’s video: Embrace your IMperfection. As a way to combat and overcome those perfectionist tendencies, consider deliberately taking an action that CAN’T be perfect. It won’t cure perfectionism, but it can shake out the cobwebs and free you up to keep moving forward. Which is important, because the only possible way to grow is by taking direct and consistent action toward our goals. Thanks for reading. Here’s a link to the video in case you’re interested: http://youtu.be/abRwbTuwfvw

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Tiffany

So Jeff – a shout out from Melbourne, Australia…. And I loved the video! I think you are right, it is a great adjunct to Marie’s theme. FWIW, I loved the imperfection. I honestly feel it makes you even more accessible to the world wide audience. There’s a raw authenticity that draws you in, makes you want to keep watching. Until today, learning about screenwriting was not on my To Do list. But I want to see the rest of the series now! Here’s to being authentically imperfect and putting it out there anyway. :)

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Molly

Holy moly guacamole!!! You rock, Miss Marie! I am launching my website today after MONTHS of holding back, being afraid, SO ready to go, but freaking terrified I’d suck.

One day while running I said to the Universe, “I’m ready – just give me a date.” Of course the Universe answered back, but what rocks is it said, “Molly, July 15th is the day. Really. It’s the day.”

So here I am, scrambling to get it perfect before actually SHARING the web address (I’m giving myself 1 more hour) and I find an email from you about starting sucky! THANKS SO MUCH!!!

I was just saying to my husband that I need to just get it out – it’s never going to be perfect, there will always be something I can fix. I’m just doing it.

Cheers to your message – it was JUST the thing I needed today!

Bless,
Molly

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Jeannie Stith

I still remember cringing my way through my first voice over job, and knowing that I it was terrible the whole time. Now, 17 years later, I’ve got a career in voice overs that is successful on a national level. I’m so glad I started when I did, even though I sucked at it!

It’s a good reminder too that no one is born just excellent at things. Everything takes practice.

Jeannie

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JD

That’s why I love the quote “Done is better than perfect”

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Jenna Arak

Marie, I swear, sometimes it feels like you’re reading my mind. This was exactly what I needed to hear today.

Though I’m confident in the value I provide to my clients, I still struggle with the fear of not being perfect from the start with nearly every decision I make (both business and personal). I want to be the very best right out of the gate in every endeavor, even though I know on a gut level, that it’s unrealistic and impossible.

Looking back now, I’m proud of the moments where I started sucky, because I can see what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown. And I know there will always be moments when I am new at something and will have to deal with this all over again – but this time with the experience necessary to know that I can (and will) only get better with time!

Thank you for another incredible MarieTV episode!

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Dennis

Hey I really liked your video. I just wanted to say I like better your old video entrance, I was waiting to hear that “hola”-like voice.

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Tillie Eze

I have been living under the wings of other people’s dreams, always supporting and helping, but too afraid to follow my own. This video comes at the best moment as I’m doing meetings to get my crowd funding started, to help me achieve my dreams.

Thank you, Marie for always being the voice that encourages you not to stop.

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Aziza from AzizaJewelry

Todays episode was great and coming back here to read the comments, this community is so inspiring! When I read what my fellow business owners here are up to in the world, with putting on workshops and retreats and collaborating with others, it really motivates me to just even take one small step in my business like sending an introductory email to a boutique owner or magazine editor to let them know about my jewelry line. That sort of thing always terrifies me but after reading what all of you wonderful folks are up to in the world, I’m super inspired to just do it! ;)

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Patty Ann

We all are teachers and hold ‘workshops’ on a daily basis. All interactions are opportunities to share knowledge and/or experiences with others. Our audition begins at birth!

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Colleen

Wow, are you in my head! Thanks for that boost of confidence to JUST START!

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Terra Goeres Ramachandran

Thanks for sharing, Marie! It’s inspiring to know that even a pro like yourself started out “small and sucky”! On that same note, here’s one of my favorite blog posts by Seth Godin: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2013/06/worst-one-ever.html

I especially love this quote: “If you’re not willing to get your ‘worst one ever’ out of the way, how will you possibly do better than that?”

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Ursula

OMG, Marie – THANK YOU!
LOVED this video. Short and to the point – and JUST what I needed. I stop myself at SO many things because I think that they are just not “good enough” yet. Be it putting out that opt-in that I wanted to create for months … finally finish writing that book that I started last year … creating an online-course or just putting out more art ….. It is always a struggle. Knowing that it is okay to start as an amateur – cause that is where everyone starts – just releases SO MUCH pressure!

THANKS!
xox,

Ursula

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Clare Galloway

No!

I am not stuck (though I could be gettin’ on with my book-writing!) yeyeyeye!

I am very happy to say that I am pretty much always engaged in active attendance to my dreams, my vision, my Best Life!

<3

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Amanda McPherson

I definitely suffer from the “Oh, I’ll never be as successful as (fill in the blank) is” syndrome. And, honestly, Marie is someone I’ve watched and wondered if I could ever be so bold and successful. It’s hard to believe she was ever the gal in the basement talking to 5 people. How reassuring it is to hear that starting small can and does lead to bigger things! I appreciate her willingness to share her “douche-chills” with us!

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Noelia

Oh my!!, this is exactly where I’m at right this moment!! Haven’t got my website up and running for fear of it not being perfect enough!!! but when is enough, enough??? Now I know Enough already!!! :) ha ha. Thank you Marie and everyone else for your sucky starter stories, they’ve helped me knock those pro’s down from the pedestall and going to finally kick that perfectionist trait in zeeeee as*!!!!

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Rudiano

I used to be a perfectionist but I realised it stand in the way of any real fun. Now I just don’t care all that much! I seek new experiences! Case in point: I always wanted to gig at an open mike, showcasing my songs. So 2 years ago I just did it.
The first time was shocking, stage fright took 2/3 of my abilities.Notice the blunder at 2:43 ->http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id_wRbA8_jw
But I was determined to try again and improve.
Second time round, still lacking in confidence but notice how I own the crowd from 1:41 ->http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QAovNt7q54

“Progress is better than perfect”

:)

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Pamela Lewis

Marie, excellent advice. So strong, yet simple and simple is not easy. Many times I’ve found ways to hold myself back because of perfectionism. First writing project; took it to the very last moment of the deadline. First speaking engagement; still working on content the night before.

Having a few successes, even in interesting circumstances, has helped.
My first workshop was booked for a pagan pride festival. Wonderful experience! This gig has helped me be brave and work through the stagnation caused by perfectionism.

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Christina

This is totally me! I’m afraid to share my brand with the world because… No one knows who I am! How will people find me? I often find myself afraid to launch because what I do is so near and dear to my heart. I wish I could just get over myself! Ahhhh!

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Samantha Cobos

Christina – I felt that way too. I launched my own home furnishings brand and I’m no Nate Berkus or Johnathan Adler – I’m a basically unknown interior designer from Minnesota. Follow your dreams and don’t be afraid to share your brand – people will be impressed, but truthfully it is so much harder to launch a brand as a non-celebrity!!

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Elle Foley

Marie!
I totally needed to hear what you had to say today. I’ve been holding off on hosting a WORKSHOP for almost 6 months and I am feeling totally inspired to go ahead and book a speaking engagement for next month.

Thank you
Thank you
THANK YOU for always keeping it real!

You Rock Marie!

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Sylvia Parker

Perfection paralysis is a PLAGUE. Every great journey starts with that first step. Besides, even if something might seem sucky at first, it’s way better than having nothing to show at all. And creating those memories makes great stories for later!

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Linda Kuhar, Christian Life Coach

I am currently writing my first book and I’ve been feeling soooo “stucky” lately! Every day I sit down to write I dread it! I keep telling myself “If your not having fun writing then why do it?” I think the reason I’m not having “fun” is because of my perfectionism is getting any the way. Can anyone relate?

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Jackie Bledsoe

I recently was “stucky” and got “un-stucky” (?) and began working on a project my wife and I have been wanting to do for almost a year. We are launching a web show called the “7 Rings of Marriage” web show where we’ll interview couples who’ve “worn” all 7 rings, overcome marriage issues, and now have amazing marriages

Well, I found every single thing I could that wasn’t perfect, and it kept us from moving forward. Well, we finally pulled the trigger and agreed to move forward even if we are “sucky.”

So, we’ve interviewed 2 of our first 7 couples for the first season of the web show, we’ll interview another tomorrow, and we’ll finish up w/our last couple the first week of August. We plan to launch the show in September.

For those who have no clue what the 7 Rings of Marriage are, or who have an amazing marriage and want us to interview you (in a non-sucky way) you can grab an infographic & more info here: http://jackiebledsoe.com/7rings

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Shontel

Great topic! Perfection paralysis is something that stops many women from being great because we feel things have to be pristine before we introduce it to the world. Men are far more likely to just present what they have and make adjustments along the way.

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MK

Love this post! It is so scary to put dreams into action but I’ve found that even starting small (and majorly sucky) is truly better than staying SUCKY!

I started my photography business 4 years ago – super small side business for friends. I was so proud of my first paying customers, I blasted my images everywhere! Now…four years later – after learning so much about photography, running my own business, etc. – I look back at those first few sessions and CRINGE. UGH! So embarrassed by some of those photographs – yet thankful anyhow.

If I hadn’t started small, confident, and super sucky – I’d never have taken the steps to grow, learn and ultimately gain a fabulous client base + booming business!

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Jacquelyn

Thank you so much for this! I am a chronic procrastinator and have been for all of my life. I only recently realized it’s because of fear. I am so afraid of not doing a perfect job, that there are times I’ll avoid doing a project altogether. Bad! It makes MUCH more sense to do my best and get closer to my goals than do nothing and go nowhere. I started a journey of living regret-free and going for what I want a little over a year ago and I’m never going back! Thank you for such clear insight on this.

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Eva

I LOVED this episode! I had forgotten how LAME my first workshop was. I was lucky I got to teach two separate groups. After the first was done, i went home and changed a bunch of stuff and added new content to improve my presentation at least a little the next day, for the second group. I sure learned my lesson and make sure I keep learning everyday! Today, with many more years of experience, the Avatar exercise and a few other tools I’ve learned through B-School, I’ve gotten much, much better!

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Samantha Cobos

Love this!! 5 years ago I jumped into textile design without any experience… I didn’t know what I was doing and at times it was was very painful and expensive, BUT today I can truly say that I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve become a better designer through the process and even though my journey may of been unconventional I believe it made me and my product stand out!

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Rene Cerrito

This is great… and good for me to focus on right now. Being prepared (to deliver value) is important… but perfectionism is not. One of my favorite quotes is “Comparison is the thief of joy”… Theodore Roosevelt. We are all unique beings with wonderful things to share with the world!

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Ewelina

Great episode Marie!! You can really motivate people. I am stuck with writing my book and finding always so many excuses not to finish it but now even if its going to be lame its so worth trying! thanks so much!

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Liliana Mayagotiia

Hello Marie.
I used to think it had to be an authority on the subject to give workshops and curos, that stopped me many years of my life to work on what I really wanted. After a while I realized the immense desire to help others in the process I had lived was the perfect opportunity to make a difference pair in other lives. So I decided I environment, starting to create my spiritual programs for personal growth, I’m very happy doing this, and I am increasingly convinced that the decision to fight for what you want is the best we can do to improve our lives and live our purpose. One has to start from scratch and slowly growing the business and our mission. I love what I do and people feel.

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Yolanda

I wouldn’t be who I am today without moving beyond fears of not “getting it right” or perfect. This video is a beautiful reminder of how we have the ability to grow with our businesses IF we are willing to try new things, even outside of our comfort zones. Our attempts are stepping stones and our mistakes are ourTeachers. These journeys are about growth. Cheers to everyone who is willing to stretch beyond themselves today…

Journey in LOVE!

Yolanda
yewchi.com

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Marie-A. Marchand

I admit, I do it all the time! I postpone projects, sometimes for a very long time, especially if the project is important to me, or if it involves people that I really don’t want to decieve. I often blame it on time running short, but really, I should just devote some time to it and get the job done. It would definitely help declutter my head, and afterwards, I am often surprised how well it went and ask myself why I didn’t do it sooner. :)

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Lina

That is really great advice Marie and this is exactly my problem: perfectionism is the monster paralyzing me. Not just in specific things I want to do but in my life in general to the point that I’m constantly failing my studies, never starting things I want to do, and having a lot of anxiety, feeling like a failure and trying to fight depression… Any advice please ?

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Sharon

I love this episode! I have been dragging my feet around for a bit because I kept waiting for myself to be ready. I have bouts of energy surges where I will get cracking and then this energy will taper off and I’ll be back on the couch numbing myself with TV shows. I’m really sick of this cycle! Know that I can start small but sucky helps, but I can still feel that resistant inside me pulling me backwards when I want to move forward. What do I do now?

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Ashley

Thanks, Marie! This is exactly what I needed to hear. While of course I’ll be sure to plan well and do my best (and b-school helps with that!), this is another reminder that I don’t have to have it all together, or figure everything out first, or be an expert, before I get started.

I can figure things out on the way, and anyway, how can I ever improve if I’m not even doing anything to begin with? So, here I go!

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Elle Bennett

Thank you so much for this, Marie. I can’t even tell you how much I struggle with everything having to be perfect and polished. I’m learning to be a little easier on myself, because even with the greatest of care I find myself missing something. I’m learning that a little imperfection isn’t always a bad thing. I mean, I love Shabby Chic, and that style is far from perfect and polished. In fact, it’s the imperfections that draw me to it. I began writing a book over seven years, and I’m happy to say that it’s finally being published. I could have written “War and Peace,” in that amount of time instead of my short read. I’m starting small (and very happy about it), and I’m no longer stuck. Here’s my proof, and I hope my experience cheers someone else on. Thanks again for your great advice. http://www.wheatmark.com/catalog/entry/The-Price

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Samantha

I can totally relate to the perfectionistic paralysis! I have so many ideas but when it comes to researching and writing I get stuck and think that I can never produce anything that someone else hasn’t produced or mine will never be good enough. Getting over that stinkin’ thinkin’ is tough…..but worth it. Thanks Marie for your insight, always right on and helpful!

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Steve

I’ve been trying to start a project that I hope becomes a avenue for revenue for the past two years now. I’ve had many false starts or have decided that I didn’t want to focus on it anymore only to find myself starting the whole project over again. My problem isn’t that I’m looking for this project to be perfect outright without making a few mistakes along the way. The problem I have is that I feel life is too short and don’t want to be stuck doing one thing for the next thirty years when I have other interests I would like to tackle but don’t feel I have enough time or energy at the end of the day to tackle them all.

This may have nothing to do with the topic but I feel stuck not because of perfectionism because I know chasing perfect is like trying to find a unicorn. I feel stuck because I’m afraid that thirty years down the line I’ll have missed out on something. I also know that I have to be tuned in to the present because the future hasn’t happened yet so why worry about it.

On the other hand I’m also struggling with the idea of “originality,” which has also got me stuck from really following through with this project. So maybe in the end it is perfection that is keeping me from starting. Any insights would be greatly appreciated on how I can get over this hump.

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Cat Knott

Hi Steve, so… 90% finished on a project.. then either get bored with it or realise that there is something so much better that you should be doing right now and start another project completely… hmmm… been there, done that and still wear that T-Shirt from time to time.
Thing is, until you get ‘something’ finished and out there, there is nothing fro you to build on. This one bit of work doesn;t need to be your ‘life’s work’, so just see it as a step forward and get it out there. Like Marie says Perfection Paralysis just keeps you stuck!

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Steve

Thanks Cat for replying to my comment.

I’ve decided to just take the steps/action that will finally get this project I’ve been working on out there in the world so like you said I have something to build upon.

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Pilar Love

I’m a sailor :) Thanks for giving me a specific shout out!

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Cat London

I started coaching improv comedy independently in Monmouth County New Jersey. First workshop had 5 people. Second workshop? 1 person. Third? Back on the upswing. I taught myself to quickly “let it go.” These are the experimental phases. I now work at a theater teaching improv and acting regularly. My private coachings will soon expand. I just know it!

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Carrie :: Happy Fish Tarot

Hi Marie, and everyone in the community!

I recently started posting weekly videos for my business, and even though I’m DOING it, I’m still pained by how ‘small and sucky’ they seem. I have a big-time comparison problem. In fact, I look at Marie with her gorgeous wardrobe, beautiful studio, and lovely lighting and feel tempted to take my cringe-worthy videos down.

But I won’t take them down, because we do all have to start somewhere. Every time I post a new video, I have to remind myself to swallow my pride and accept where I am right now (small and sucky but on the road to awwwweeee-some).

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Tara

Hi. Perfection paralysis is sooo my deal right now. Marie’s video is going to help me to love to suck. Right now, I’m a single mom artist squeaking by financially. I hold artist workshops in my sucky 2 bedroom apartment to make ends meet since I can’t afford the overhead of a “real” studio or extra sizzle to make my apartment look stylish. I’m quite insecure about my shabby apartment studio but it is what it is. I’m going to watch this video often as I move through this sucky stage and into my big dreams. Thanks!

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Alycia Darby

This is my FAVORITE video to date!!! Not just because of “douchey child” but because I can so relate! I am soooooo ‘stucky’ in avoiding ‘sucky’!!! I tell my clients you have to mess it up 6 times before you get it right, so you might as well get those mess ups outta the way. But, I’m not taking the advice myself….until now! Sucky Workshop, Here I Come!

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Rima

Keep going for your dreams is so right! The perfection paralysis coupled with fear is true paralysis. Go out there and possibly suck … keep it authentic for all of us to just start. All the perfection in the world is worthless, if you don’t share your message and talents with others!

Truly appreciate you, your humor and authenticity!

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Tomeka

Loving Marie’s new FRESH branding – so much personality. Thanks for all the inspiration you bring!

Tomeka

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nakeia

I was seriously in that “it needs to be big and perfect” space until just a few short years ago- and if I’m honest about it- it’s still a struggle.

It started with my music production company. I thought I needed to rent some huge space with a ton of equipment. Didn’t have the money for all of that so- we built a studio in our basement (where we still work from today.)

I wanted to speak to thousands, and share my story of getting out of the hood, graduating college, and becoming an award winning songwriter (while up against some pretty serious odds.) No one knew me and I didn’t know thousands, so I spoke to some high school students and youth from non-profit agencies.

Then, I wanted to share my ideas with the world on this grand website that would reach millions! Since I couldn’t do that, I started a blog on a free site and shared my ideas with my little email list (which consisted of mostly family and a few college buddies.)

One of my mentors inspired me to keep choosing progress over perfection. So whenever I’m feeling all grand about how things should be going, I remember that done is better than perfect.

I have managed to do some pretty amazing things with my small music studio, beautifully basic website, and I am proud to have mentored some really awesome teens- all because I started small ;-)

Thanks for this beautiful reminder Marie!

Nakeia

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Rebecca Harpain

Just the video I needed today; I keep finding more things to fix and edit with my very first program, but the main problem is me looking for excuses not edits. Time to kick my wazoo in gear and launch this so I can learn from it, and make it better for round 2!

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Colleen Bean

I’m starting out sucky because I couldn’t NOT start…and thank you for this video to keep me going and know it’s ok.
I’m always the one helping friends plan – giving them logical and creative ways to get what they want and giving that tough love once in a while – you know, that “no more excuses, do it or don’t” that we all need to hear sometimes so I was already doing personal coaching, naturally and it just seemed logical that I should be sharing my skills with more people who don’t have the same vision for things that I do.
So, I started a free website and put out a weekly video on youtube with encouragement, advice etc. Every week I get a little better with my videos. I swear I had like 50 takes on the first one and now I’m down to just a couple (whew!). I’ve had a couple clients but most of my audience is friends and family.
Although I dream of some magical day that someone “discovers” me and sees something in those videos that really gets me on the map so I can help many more people, I realize that right now just doing the work is what is most important and I’ll get better and better as I keep doing it.
We look at people (like you Marie!) who are absolutely AMAZING at what they do and it’s easy to think oh yeah…that’s not me because I don’t have __fill in the blank___ so when you share a little insight into your first workshop it helps so much for me to see that you have improved as you’ve been doing your work and it’s not like you just fell from the heavens with a huge audience and great achievements. It’s nice to know that if I keep working hard someday I’ll be fully fabulous too.

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Jenny

I’m currently in the perfection paralysis stage. I want to do a food truck. I have been in the hospitality industry for almost 2 years and ran restaurants and worked in hotels and bars. I have an opportunity to start a food truck, but like everything in like, champagne taste and a beer budget. I know I can start out small, but I can’t get over myself enough to do that – even though, I would thank myself later.

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Andria Yiasmin

This video was GREAT! And the timing even greater! I’m just starting out..well, I’ve been starting out for a few years now!
I’ve been in that perfectionist’s paralysis stage for so long that enough is enough! Whenever I want to get my work out there, outside my blog, I’m so scared I go hide behind my PC screen, but no more hiding!
The only way to learn is to act!
Thank you Marie for your awesome video! You are definitely an inspiration!
I love the outtakes at the end :)

Andria Yiasmin

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Karen

Awesome!

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KrisWithaK

Oh man! You are reading my mind this week, Marie.

I was just yesterday complaining about how scared I was that my first workshop would have 5 people and be sucky, so I just haven’t done what I need to do in order to make it happen.

I decided yesterday to just make the first move toward the workshop I want to do, and if I get 5 people there will be a profit (albeit a small one). I decided that I would set it up and market it, hoping for 5 ladies to sign up. My next workshop can be bigger, but this one is ok to be small.

Your video just made me feel like I was on the right path. I feel more committed than ever.

Thanks!!
xo
K

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Carisa

I still cringe thinking about my very first time teaching a workshop for a class of college students. I was super nervous. My mentor teacher was like, “Yeah, go out there, connect witht the students and be comfortable” but once she heard me speaking to the students before class, she was like, “Usually only I speak to the students before the class starts.” Looking back I can see that I was really concerned about being perfect and doing everything right. I was so concerned with sticking to my perfect outline of the info I wanted to cover in the class that I was too worried to actually engage students in the discussion, because what if (God forbid) I STRAYED FROM THE OUTLINE?! Thankfully, it got much easier with practice and now that I’m a speaker and a coach I am very comfortable connecting with my audiences and encouraging an organic flow during my group coaching sessions. Now that I enjoy myself I can see that my clients enjoy the experience too. Definitely didn’t happen overnight though. :)

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Jennifer

Yes, I’m doing a workshop on this in the next couple of weeks. Even when you have awareness around being a perfectionist, it’s still something you have to keep in check all the time! Marie, thank you for sharing and being so honest about your humble beginnings. You stay keepin’ it real! This might be a message I revisit often any time I get afraid to “suck”! :) xo

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Ifrah - PinPoint Coaching

“Sloppy success beats perfected mediocrity” I totally LIVE by this statement. Anytime my perfectionist tendencies try to take over I repeat this over and over again and it has helped me tremendously.

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LISA

Marie….you rock….and somehow you always know my deepest, darkest fears.

Thanks for putting that out there, because it is scary as hell to step out on faith.
I am still plowing through my B School curriculum and I must say it is one of the best things I have done for myself!
Keep the life coach lessons coming!

Take care.

Lisa

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Llyane @FrenchOnSkype

Yes! :)
I started my French business with a blog talking about… well… not much, but I posted my acting headshots because I knew that everybody likes to see someone smiling.
Lame?
You betcha!
But guess what?
That lame website brought me a client who is still working with me, who invested in every product that I have, helped me launch and develop my Parisian French Immersion Retreat by trusting and investing in it, and who defines my Ideal Client Avatar. (what in the world could he have seen in that website?! I guess, he saw the potential.)
I went through different approaches that I’ve seen out there, more ‘professional’, more ‘serious’, and I ended up with a variation of that initial website, because it worked the best for me.
So, as lame as it seemed to me, it actually was a good choice that came from my gut, and I can’t be more grateful for that first client who defines now all clients that I want to have in my business.
Thanks, Marie!
xo

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Stede Barber

One of the best things a beloved painting instructor (now hugely successful and amazingly “gifted”) ever did was to show us his first painting…it was sooooo bad…pretty much just bright green trees, bright green meadows, green green green…BUT…his work is so absolutely heavenly beautiful now, that seeing where he started and where he has taken himself through focus, study, and DOING IT, is utterly freeing and inspiring.

He could not have gotten to the level he is now if he hadn’t gone out and done that first green painting…and learned and kept growing from there…

Thank you so much for this post…I am reminded, and encouraged…permission granted to “just do it” and trust that my best has great value no matter what level I’m at…

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Leslie Nolan

Marie,

Thanks for this video….

I am laughing because all of my workshops have been feeling like this. My last one on Sunday had the potential for 12 people, and only two attended.

I cried.

But guess what… it really was beautiful. I mean, it is new material, and a new workshop, new idea… for Mommy & Me: Creativity and The Sacred Elements. ‘Air’ was our ‘Element’ And we had fun!

Ate yummy snacks… and learned new things… and made some art!

So there…

I will try to find the balls about me to offer out ‘Water’ the next one this month.

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Jenny

Got my first “lame” workshop over!
total of ONE extra person showed… A friend of mine.
The second one when much better and I hope the third will still increase in size!

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Loren E. Chadima

You’re right. I’ve done lots of lame things inspite of my perfectionism. At the moment I’m putting my friend screenwriters on a pedestal and thinking they are so much better than I – why bother writing my screenplay – but I’ll keep writing. Already writing a bunch of shitty drafts – just have to write one more.

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Nicholas Korn

Imperfect or incomplete – I’ll choose the first one every time. Always something good in everything that gets done.

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Anaïs

Oh I couldn’t stop laughing at this one. I created my first lame workshop when I started my biz as an image consultant. It was supposed to be titled “How to look taller and slimmer in 10 seconds” – unfortunately my gracious host printed: “How to look taller and SLIMER…”.
Will never forget that one.

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Cathrin

Thank you so much for this inspiring video!

I really struggle with this issue!

I am a professional dancer, but I have the feeling that I never really get to my goals always just reaching and hoping for my dreams to come true, and guess why? Because my perfectionism always is stopping me. For the last 5 years I have been so scared to fail or not beeing good enough, always comparing me with all the other beautiful and talented dancers. Even though I always kept going on, I never really let this feeling of perfection go and that still holds me back for doing this a 100 % .
It is so hard for me to accept that I only will learn and grow by just doing it and not taking everything so serious and especially not to compare.

But I really want to go big with my dancing and spread my love and passion! I know, I have so much to give through my way of expression :) So thank you so much for reminding me of my strengh and power. I know I can, just as everybody else :)

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Lauren-Miranda

Amazingly timely – I’m teaching the second run of my very first workshop TONIGHT! I did it for one group last week, and tonight is another group. I actually think it went all right, except for the fact that for a significant portion of the time, I was reading from my notes. I know. Terrible. But my brain just seems to go into a fog when I don’t stare at the paper. Mostly these are bullet points, and I am speaking somewhat extraneously beyond them, but not a whole lot.

I really hope to leave the note-reading behind as I get better!!

Thanks for your wonderful videos – never miss one! <3

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Stede Barber

My trick for getting past notes is…I practice in front of a mirror! I make my goofs, my stumbles, my brain-freezes there…and can feel the life flowing back into me when it’s actually time to go on stage…hope it works for you!

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Lauren-Miranda

Thanks for the suggestion, Stede…. though looking at myself in the mirror brings up a whole other can of worms, so I’m not sure that’s the way for me to go. I have been reading portions of it out loud, which really does help see where things don’t make sense or don’t flow. And right now, I’m shortening those bullet points to just a couple of words, which hopefully will keep me on track but get me to look at the audience most of the time!

Thanks again :)

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the get In Shape Girl

You cant go from 0 to 100000 without hitting all of those numbers in between. you have to learn from all of those experiences and you wouldn’t be able to handle it if you didn’t get all those experiences from the things in between. It makes me sad when people want to cancel seminars, programs, etc because they only sold 3 or 8 spots. NO! you do it for those 3 or 8 people and you get the experience and you give them tons of value and they’ll tell other how awesome you are and you will get more business from it.

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Brenda

I totally fall in this category with creating video classes. I’ve been wanting to create video canning classes for people to subscribe to, in addition to the classes I teach in person at my home, but every time I look at the video recordings I start picking apart everything that’s wrong!

I need to jut get over the self-criticism and put the videos out there.

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Bethany

Marie you are in my head today! I read the title and stopped everything I was doing to watch this.
One thing that really stood out to me is when you say that you gave everything you could to those 5 people in the room even if it was a “sucky” first event.
I am 26 and starting a career where a “young professional” is anyone in their 40’s. I feel the need to be perfect when I know that starting small and sucky is what I really need to do, to get to where the people around me already are.
I actually just received an email from my very first “small and sucky” account and while my perfectionist side wants to hide and pretend this never happened I’m going to really commit myself to following it through and getting it to a better/workable solution. THANK YOU for the motivation!

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Jennifer Twardowski

I really needed to hear this this week! Cause, once again, I have multiple ideas but I keep finding myself in the perfectionist paralysis stage… which is something I’ve been struggling with for several months now. Thank you SO much for this post Marie! :-)

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Haydee Montemayor

Hi Jennifer, maybe you should try the “I-love-it-so-much-I-don’t-care what-anybody-thinks” momentum. It is as simple as following what truly makes you happy…unapologetically. Usually we’re the ones who are in our own way, so say “excuse me” to yourself and go for whichever one of your ideas brings you the most joy. :) If you’re still too scared do something… and that will break the “paralysis” aspect of it….and doing something…anything to move forward is really much better than doing nothing at all. :) Hope you can find your way. :)

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Haydee Montemayor

P.S. Jennifer, by the way, you have written a lot about content that will help you move forward on your site… so you got this–you know the way! :)

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Cat

This video so talked about me!! I am the queen of perfection so much so I have been fiddling with my website for 12 months!! However I am finally kicking myself in the backside so i’m currently checking off a REAL to do list with a goal at the end (to make money!)

My perfectionism is certainly holding me back in my business, I have so many goals and secretly I am so afraid to fail that I end up going round in circles and not starting them at all!

I need to know it is OKAY to not be perfect! (my perfectionist inside is screaming as I write that) ;)

Thanks for video as always!

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Teresa D

I completely identify with your sentiments in this video. I am a graphic recorder/facilitator who has become known for great digital work, but I’m now being asked to do live “front of the room” sessions on large paper. I’m petrified, and my perfectionist tendencies are roaring as loud as ever! Thank you for such timely advice!

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Rebekah

Have you ever re-watched a very early episode of FRIENDS? Sucky! They needed time to find their rhythm, their character’s voice, etc. This didn’t stop them from becoming the #1 show of all time!

As a new blogger, I get super intimidated ( and discouraged) by more established bloggers with large followings. But if you dig to the earliest posts of writers whose work you follow, you will see that there is a lot of growth between their first posts and their current, as well as their readership/followers. Same would apply to business owners, actors, etc.

Take Heart!
Rebekah

TheWildSpace.com

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Haydee Montemayor

I’m happy to report that I’m not letting anything hold me back. I’m going for it! Perhaps at the moment I can’t tell if what I’m doing is cringeworthy or not, but it really doesn’t matter because what I’m doing is moving me forward. Marie, you’re the prime example that it doesn’t matter how you start… you can get far. In my opinion, each rung on the ladder to our dreams has its merit and is purposeful, so I’m simply thankful for the opportunity to be able to have the will and the aspirations to step on that rung.

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oliver

being asked to dance and sing..cower in fear of doing it..because I wanna look polished in the act..
as far as business, let me go work on finishing that PowerPoint..presentation..
and Job Hazard Analysis…they won’t be perfect…they’ll be a start.

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justine

I’ve quit perfectionism a long time ago ;)

but I do want to mention a workshop that I took about 10 years ago from a beginning coach/therapist.

It was low budget, very low priced, weird people were in it, the location was a an empty cold space and we got vegetable soup for lunch.

But! The CONTENT WAS INCREDIBLE!!!!!! The exercises were life-changing for me! She was just starting out as a therapist but that day she changed my life!! I immediately booked 1 on 1 sessions with her and over the years I sent a bunch of people to her!! When I moved to Mexico she coached me over e-mail.

I owe so much to her & her lame first workshop!
So people please don’t hold back! You have to go out there and do your thing & change people’s lives for ever. Don’t let perfection get in your way!

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Tonia Winchester | drtoniawinchester.com

Couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m not even going to respond. I’m just going to close this window and get to work on my online course I’m preparing.

Thanks Marie!

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Somer Nelson

Newbie right here. Being fearless and just having faith I’ll improve over time. Some of my biggest accomplishments have come from falling on my face.
Thanks for sharing your story:)

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cecile

It’s funny how you seem to smell what’s in the air…you always point out THE pertinent thing for me who live accross the ocean! thanks from France for your videos and your great advices!

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Reno Winston

Yesterday I slayed a dragon.

The day before, I was gripped by fear and nearly in tears.

Today, I am inspired – by this video, and the empowering energy that it fills me with as I reflect.

Yesterday I met with one of my first big time personal styling/personal shopping clients; call it a blessing granted by preparation meeting with opportunity – Oprah calls this luck. I was terrified, until I showed-up and began to serve, and *poof* the dragon was gone. We all deserve a hug, and a pat on the back, because it takes some serious man/lady balls to show-up, share your passion, and dive into your purpose. Upon reflection from my experience, I couldn’t help but feel like I really had very little to worry about in the first place, and I had just walked away with a new client, some new knowledge, and the tools I needed to develop my Self and my business.

Fire. Ready. Aim.

Not quite a “lame workshop”, but definitely a comparable experience.

With Love & Light,

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Emily McDonald

Love the new intro! Yes, perfectionism is a huge issue for me, and it sucks but just getting started always does the trick. I think that potential clients actually connect with your ability to “be human,” and they find it endearing – especially when you have a sense of humor about it and don’t fight it. Kind of reminds me of the recent interview with Josh on dealing with anxiety and other emotions. Thanks Marie!

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Vanessa

Love this video! So true!
I got my first presentation/workshop about two months ago. In my mind, I had envisioned a full house (it was at a local women’s group event place), where women would just flock to hear what I had to say about Dreaming up your Romantic Other.
But alas, it was a one of the first beautiful days of summer and I got only 6 attendants. I didn’t drop the ball though. I got through with and learned a couple of valuable lessons, and walked out with a new idea for another workshop that I intend to launch later.
Yes it was a bit disappointing not having a full house, but I could also see that I wasn’t fully ready either. I have much to learn on how to distill my information.
It’s all about baby steps really. It is hard to hear the success stories of those around us who are hitting it out of the park, but we have to respect our own journey.
Also, if you are starting your business now… run a beta offer! I’m learning so much from that now!

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Mishan

Marie, this was the best message at this time for me.. fresh-grad b-schooler who is almost paralyzed from not knowing how to START and yet so inspired to use everything I learn from you. I’m a crazy combination of perfectionist and lost-in-space-how-do-I-take-step-one girl. Thank you for always being so funny when you share your struggles. I’m going to create my first lame workshop right now! xo

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Natalie

Awesome video Marie! Ahhh sometimes I feel like I’m living through a few of these moments right now. I am definitely a perfectionist, and I feel it has slowed my progress considerably. Your line, “insight comes from action”, has been helping me get past my perfectionism. Thank you!

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Rosie

The first time I spoke in public, getting up behind a microphone and holding forth, was terrible. I cringe to think how I babbled, scrumpled up the paper with my notes on, kicked over someone’s drink – I told myself that people were laughing with me.

As you say, though, it was a baseline. I’ve since built on that and am now much calmer and more confident. For the last talk I gave (at the Bloomsbury Theatre in London, no less!) I even abandoned the cue cards and just chatted – and I only forgot one small thing. If you want to see me talking about plunging into the ocean for art, it’s here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4j_IkOxVnQ – and even when I forget what Preston Museum’s famous for, thankfully people just laugh.

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McKenzie

Thank you for sharing this! I have been holding myself back for a while from going after the things I feel will enable me to have my own business, enabling me to work from home. I often get caught up in needing everything I do (from the beginning) to be perfect, but I really should just DO, and at least get the ball rolling rather than stay paralyzed.

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Tommie

Thanks for this video! I have been starting and stopping my business for years. I always had this nagging feeling that if I did not have all my ducks in a row then why start. Today I decided that I am going to live my life by faith and with faith I know it is not about having it all together its about doing and believing! So here I gooooooooo!

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Meg Miniello

“perfection paralysis” is the perfect way to describe what I have been afflicted with for YEARS! However, recently, I have been regaining my feeling, confidence and drive to over come PP. This video could not have come into my life at a better time! Woot Woot! Ps, I wish there was video of your first workshop :)

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maxwell ivey

Hi Maria; I don’t have a problem with this one. a year and a half ago I did a radio show dedicated to small business owners. It started off horribly. I got disconnected and had to call back in. the producer failed to tell the host i was blind. I am now a regular guest usually on fridays. and the host brian the hammer jackson routinely threatens to play my first visit for the people who haven’t heard it. my first youtube video wasn’t cringe worthy but it wasn’t ready for prime time either. I love the phrase fail forward. No matter what you do, if it is your first time; you are going to mess up. I think its something that there is actually a school of thought that says your videos can be too perfect. the thinking is a few mess ups make you come off more real to the audience. thanks for sharing. If I can help inspire or motivate others to take their first small steps, let me know. take care, Max

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Audrey Groeschel

Made me laugh and wow, was this a great smack in the face today! I needed this so bad. I have been stuck for months and I am ready to make some cringe worthy stuff now! Thanks Marie, I will cross it off my to do list.

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Cheri

Love that dress! Let me know what brand that is. Thanks! :)

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Melissa

Thank you so much for this! This is exactly what I needed to hear before starting my internship in the Fall. Hey, I’m new I probably will suck a bit! But at least I have the courage to try something new and put myself out there! Thanks Marie! I don’t want to stay STUCKY!

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Keely

Girrlll, this is HUGE. This whole topic is me on a platter. And this topic has been the hot discussion with my soul sisters lately. All about how we are afraid to step into our power. In 2010 I realized it was only me who has stood in my way for so many years. No one else. Four years later and although it is better, it still comes up. So…let me get off this message board and get to work on my upcoming #2 speaker event that is going to be less sucky than #1 :) Thanks Marie and crew. You all rock my world

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Sowmya

Wow thank you for this one marie. I’ve been really struggling with trying to get it super perfect with my designs and comparing myself with other accomplished designers. Time to start experimenting and have fun.☺️

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Francine

Marie, thanks so much for sharing this story about your beginnings. It’s so easy, I think, for all of us to see people at certain stages of their business or life and not realize how they started out or what they felt like when they put themselves out there for one of the first times. It really helps me in particular to broaden my perspective in getting a bigger-picture view of a person’s journey, and not just what it may appear to look like right now!

Years ago, I was a voice major in college. I had the passion for music and for learning, but not the technique for singing. My poor technique, along with my incredible stage fright and my huge desire to please people–singing more to make them happy instead of really enjoying it myself–made me terrified to actually practice. I would often freeze when I got up on stage to perform. Great classical singing necessitates energized but relaxed breathing, and mine was anything but! It greatly affected my sound. After 5 years of schooling and many awful required performances, I didn’t get a single opera role, and only 15 people came to my senior voice recital, versus an average attendance of much higher.

Several years later, I decided to start studying again and committed to doing it for myself, with no pressure to perform ever again if I didn’t want to. My teacher was a good match, and this time I really learned and practiced the techniques and they made sense to me. After two years, I could sing classical music I’d never dreamed I’d be able to in my lifetime, now with the added depth of passion and greater life experience in my sound. Currently I do rare performances, and even though I still get stage fright, my technique actually works through it instead of against it, and my sound no longer suffers. I couldn’t be prouder that I can sing at the level I can, even if I don’t often do it publicly. It’s rewarding enough to know that I worked so hard and really did it for me, and I’ve learned so much about myself and about life through the whole process.

These days, I’m in the middle of starting work based on something that comes more naturally to me–writing. I’m self-publishing my first book! But even so, when I called to purchase a package, and when I actually submitted my manuscript, I was fully terrified! I’m sure I’ll feel the same way when I first publish my future website, or when I first do any number of new things. It helps me to look at all of my work as both the end of a process–an accomplishment–and also the potential beginning of something more. That way, it can always grow, but I can still always be proud of where I’m at and how far I’ve come. It also helps to take the pressure off and really feel deep down that I’m proud of my work, no matter what. :)

Thanks so much for sharing your story, Marie! Your willingness to share your humanity is so appreciated!

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Jeannie

This is such a great story, Francine. Good for you!

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Vivian

Great episode!

So, I’m just going to put out there.. My website is coming in August everyone!!

Please hold me accountable for it :D

PS: I love this intro even more.

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Ashleigh

YES! I am a sailor!! I race Farr 44s on a boat full of dudes! Its really scary to get on a yacht feeling like I was gonna suck at doing what these burly guys were so skilled at! Lots of mistakes but nobody died and now I rock it out with guys that initially thought that I was just some dumb blonde looking for a nice boat ride—-oh boy do they know better now!

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Heather

I love this! I gave my first workshop to a potted plant! That’s all that showed up – and it was delivered to me AT the workshop by my parents. Yep! The next one was a little better in that 3 people were there. So keep going! Keep trying! Fail early and have FUN!

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Deborah

Thanks SO much for sharing your story Marie! I offered my first Philanthropy Camp for Women this spring. I was hoping to get 15 women in the room. I ended up with 6 women. After the first night, I knew that the group size was much better than 15 would have been. Everyone got to share and the intimate experience really meant a lot to these women. Over the course of our six weeks together, we were really able to connect with one another. I was reminded that everything happens for a reason. In this case, I realized that sometimes smaller is better. In the future I’d still like a few more women, but I know I want to keep my group size small to maximize impact for the attendees.

I also think it’s important WHO is in the room. I definitely had the right 6 women in the room to start! They all had a fabulous time, learned a lot, and are great promoters of the experience!

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Raissa

Thank you Marie ;-) I can’t believe you started out at 23 ! I’m 25 and just enrolled in a Health Coaching program but I do feel young and haven’t figure out my own health journey yet !!! It feels like being a baby born again :-/ I’ll keep your advice in mind ;-) Keep up the good work and I hope to meet you one day !! NAMASTE

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Ashar

Yowza!!! you got to love when you’re in flow. Nearly didn’t take action on an opportunity I have been asking for because it didn’t look all ‘spanky and new’ or rather the way I thought it should look. I kept saying to myself that the venue I was looking to hire was not to ‘brand and surely wouldn’t appeal to my ideal clients’. When I finally did call, the owner not only has the same mission of service but really believes in community. Had I waited for the perfect one, I would have missed this and I feel excited too see what unfolds :)
Thanks so much for this Marie and ladies, so spot on.

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Jackie

Because of this post, I am giving myself permission to suck.

I also want to get to the root of WHY I am afraid of failure in the first place (is that perfectionism eeeek?).
It could have something to do with teaching in Inglewood and brutally failing daily in front of some pretty intimidating 8th graders…

My favorite resource for unpacking perfectionsim: http://www.jackieviramontez.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Bold-Action-WS.pdf

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Ali Johnston

I am currently in the small and sucky phase, but I’m happy to announce that I have taken baby steps instead of ‘analysis paralysis’ cause I definitely over think things and then get overwhelmed. I just keep on telling myself that I can do it. Baby steps are better than no steps.

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Megan Evans

Thank you for this, Marie! We often hear “everyone starts somewhere” but rarely get to hear a real example. Such a great reminder and very inspiring!

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Dianna Sinni

This was so spot on! I’ve been feeling in a rut because I feel that my photographs aren’t good enough compared to others or that I can’t create the content I want because I don’t know how to do it and do it well! Great motivator to keep going and creating. xo

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Anis

Thanks, Marie, this episode inspired me. I spent 2 whole days filming video but didn’t like any of them. But i finally made a video and put it out there. :) Lame baby steps.

Keep soaring. XX

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Toni

Thank you SO MUCH for this. This was the kick in the pants that I needed to charge ahead with a project, and I blogged about it here (too long for just a comment!): http://tonigatlin.com/the-messy-process-revealed/

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Bella

Hey guys,
Awesome post and very timely. I’m putting together my first workshop now, you’re so right about the momentum thing :)
Ps. I’m a sailor. In fact a world champion this year so if you need some sailing tips let me know. Also plan to take six chicks on a forty foot catamaran in the south if France in September if you wanna have some fun :)
Lots of love and keep the posts coming xx

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Rana

I personally am guilty of being a perfectionist. My business is in the baby-stage. Recently I have been working non-stop to get it running, but it is nowhere close to where I want it to be. It took me awhile to go after the “big fish” because I felt like I couldn’t deliver based on circumstance. Sometimes you just have to jump and build your plane on the way down!

One of my professors once told me “never compared your beginning to someone else’s middle”.

Thanks for the reminder! XO

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Julie Jamison

Love this video!

Gosh I remember my first “seminar”. I held it at my local library. Got a few RSVPs from FB and none of them showed! The librarian had to pull people from the library to attend-total of 3 people!

I felt defeated, but it has made me a better speaker (I HATE public speaking!) and allowed me to step out of my comfort zone.

Thanks Marie!

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Rosita

Lol I love this my first workshop was a Juicing and Smoothie Workshop, It had my mom her sister and a cousin and 3 persons who sighed up the next one the rained pored on that day and I got 3 new persons and am pressing on ohhhhhhhhh yaaaaaaaa. Thanks for this Vid I was thinking to not offer any more this inspired me to keep going next one this month end.

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Charita Cadenhead

As an introvert and a huge Susan Cain fan, I am inspired to join the Quiet Revolution. My ultimate goal is to connect with schools and start a conversation about considerations for introvert students. I have made some progress towards that goal and I get a bit nervous when I think about how huge this could be if I were able to really gain the attention that it deserved. Just life a life coach, right? Solve everyone else’s problems while I remain a basket case myself (lol).

I’m sure I’ll be fine in the end, but my ultimate goal would be to personally connect with Susan Cain for some direct advice on how to approach this and ultimate become an integral part of her Quiet Revolution.

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Carma Spence

So my first live workshop wasn’t all that sucky … I gave great information to about 15-20 people at a Curves location. Does that mean I need to go out and do a lame workshop to get that off my list? LOL :-)

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Ravi Bhagia

Great topic covered by Marie and the team. Well, I personally think that people worry too much about what others perceive of them .Well, two main reasons for this. 1) “Fear of Rejection” and 2)”too cozy in their comfort zone” to try something they like. I am saying this, because I went through the phase. I lost my job last year. The only thing I never wanted , as I was the most insecured person there ever could be (have my personal reasons for that ofcourse). My world fell apart! But I think it was the best thing that happened to me, because I got out of my comfort zone and has forced me to work towards things that I love. Having said that, I am no way close to your “Rags to Riches” stories of any kind and have a long way to go . My life story is far away from the last page of a fair tale. But, I love this feeling of freedom and hope to be successful with my new venture. Best wishes and God speed to all.

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Julie Parker

I love this video and message Marie! Even though I’ve been coaching and training life coaches for many years now, I still hold myself back at times if I don’t feel as if something is truly ‘AHmazing’ or perfect. I have a BIG project coming up in 2015 and I know if I’m not careful I could put it on hold if I don’t let parts of it go – and rather than focus on getting it done in whatever way it’s meant to arrive – simply just do it to the best of my abilities now.

Thanks for the inspiration to just do it!

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Kay Christopher

Marie, thanks for the invaluable reminder of how sucky I was at some of the things I am good at now. I’d forgotten the sucky part of the past. Very helpful for moving forward in the present!

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Carolina A Castro

Hey I am a sailor! No kidding. :)

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Julia Elmore

Hey sailor Carolina, I started sailing 2 weekends ago and going for my Competent Crew next weekend. Great to meet a fellow sailor here. x

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Shawna Giefer

This was a great one for me to hear today. I love the messages, but also love the funny one liners – douche chills…. spot on.

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amelía

Ah – I just realized im totally in perfectionist paralysis! Suckey stuckey is where I am. Funny how I had a million other reasons ‘why’ i was procrastinating, very valid ones of course ;) but I just realized from watching this video what is the truth of the matter. Thank’s Marie for giving me permission to suck. Ugh. But I so don’t want to… How do I muster the courage? Any tips for dealing with what you hear other people saying even before you get started? oooh. I need to sit and breathe through this one. LOL. The truth hurts but feels so good to call it out! oy va voy!

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Michelle Spalding

EXCELLENT VIDEO!!

Yes, I know that’s yelling but I’m so excited you posted this. So often we get stuck because we compare ourselves to others rather than just following our passion.

A dear friend and mentor once told me “get the beater on the road”. Don’t wait to go somewhere until you have the car of your dreams, drive what you’ve got and go where you want.

THANKS Marie!

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Shun Jackson

Yep…you’re talking directly to me. I’ve litterally paralized myself because of this mindset. My current business hasn’t even launched and I’m already ready to make more changes. But I’ve forced myself to calm down and let things stay as they are…and I will begin working on the changes after the launch. Since 2012 and more so this year, I’ve gotten more clarity on my target market and now can see my ICA a lot clearer…so with that, the copyright has to change…plus, my copyright isn’t as direct as I want and I’ve struggled to find my own voice…but the launch is on August 11th and I’ve decided to break it up and make incremental changes over a few months.

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Shun Jackson

*paralyzed

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Jen

Love your story about the basement, a couple of weeks a go i did just the same and 5 women turned up to my “event” (mum’s independence day) and there was wine… (lesson learned) and although I had the love sheets where they will answer questions out loud about them dreams and projects to work on it was hard, it was difficult but in the end they loved it and i’m totally proud of my self cause like you said i did something i put my self out there and got out of my comfort zone, thanks to your “follow through formula” I started before I’m ready. Big Love
P.S: love this into video best ;)

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LaDonna

Marie, this is so true. We’ve all got to start somewhere — and sometimes we have to re-start too (re-invent ourselves and career). Dumping my government job and taking the consulting/entrepreneurial path has been an interesting journey for sure.

Comparing ourselves to others isn’t very useful but holding up the stellar work of others as examples can help us create our best work. Courage is key. Persistence is a must. Taking a risk is just part of the journey :) Thx for the insights.

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jan

So good to hear this from you Marie. I know my videos are “sucky” and “laughable” I actually want them to be somewhat humerous. But I also know that if I get it out there that is one small step and soon I will be saying “I remember when my videos were sucky”

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Erin

Just this morning I was thinking back to when I started teaching yoga 7 years ago. A lot of cringing happens when I think about my first classes and workshops but I just jumped right in and started. The first place I taught was a tiny Pilates Studio where I rented a space that could fix about 5 yoga mats. The studio owner was really enthusiastic about marketing the class by writing on the flyer, “Get your stretch on!” Yikes. It’s nice to see how far I’ve come.

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Lori Evans

Erin– I love that “get your stretch on!” I am a Pilates Instructor and well versed in yoga. All the the static stretches I teach clients are yogo based. Do you still teach yoga or do you have your own studio?

Lori :)

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Kristy

So true. I really started my biz before I was ready but it has been an amazing experience and I totally cringe when I watch some of my very early videos as they are horrible, but one of my most watch videos is also one of my most cringe worthy. Onwards and upwards. Thanks Marie.

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Jeannie

When I was about 10, I brought home a test grade of 98. My father said, “Why didn’t you get a 100?” OUCH! As bad as that sounds, the good of it was instilling in me a huge drive to always work hard and do my best. On the dark side, as you might guess, anything less than perfect sort of felt like failure. Marie, I have got to say, after going through b-school, my new mantras are “progress over perfection” and not buying into any negative voices either in my head or from anyone else. The universe is abundant, and as you have said many times, everything is , “figure-out-able”; if I don’t embrace the possibilities of all this abundance, be open to it AND work hard, THAT is failure and that “stucks. “

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Julia Elmore

I love your basement workshop story Marie. My first art workshop was in a teeny tiny coffee shop on a railway station where the hostess was making coffee and taking part in the art class all at the same time. It was very experimental and very crowded, but I recall it being fun rather than cringeworthy. It involved a lot of improv and experimentation which drew the little group together over laughter.
Oh, and you can say “hello sailor” to me… sailing wasn’t even on my radar until 2 weeks ago when my partner booked me onto a weekend sailing course for beginners. Totally outside my comfort zone, but I came back from 3 days on a boat with 4 strangers a braver, more confident woman and am off to do my Competent Crew course next week!
Thanks for always inspiring with your stories Marie.
Love, Julia x

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Lori Evans

Marie!!!!!! This was awesome! I love that your parents were there!!! I just have to say that I am still going through the B-School stuff…and I have just made a huge decision to jump in my business, and I know a big part of it is because of what I have learned so far. I am closing up my one on one reformer Pilates business, moving to spend time with my elderly dad, and build up my online business moving it more toward health and wellness coaching with the movement of Pilates! I am still figuring it all out, and I am doing a lot of deep breathing these days, but making this huge change is the steps in the right direction. And, I will remember this little video as I market and do my online workshops! xoxo Lori

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Allison Dey Malacaria

This is so true. Even though I want to provide consistent service to customers, I have had to reformat product, change gears, and even pull a few things to find the business’s stride. It was worrying that it would not look professional, but professional grows from the heart of start-up and start-over. It’s as much a journey as the goal I can see in my head. Start sucky but start! Right on!

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Shelagh

My first workshop was really pathetic. But it was free, it was with willing guinea pigs who wanted to help (all 2 of them!), and it was expressly to learn what I needed to do to make the content and the process great in the future. I did more, and they got much better, but I still considered them beta – test, test, test until you get it good enough to sell with conviction. That’s how I approached it. Now getting ready to launch for real.

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Mary

“Yah Hey No Lie!”

Love this! I did my first RaVEgan Workshop on Monday: my computer was on continue 4:01pm so at 5:30 (not 5pm) when I should have been prepped for the class I have 2o minutes (so not my vision). Five people showed up ( Must be the winning number) after sending out over 2000 invites. Luckily I had invited someone to give a fermentation demo and they took up the first hour which left me enough time to prepare the Cacao Chocolates and Raw Tu- Nah Sushi. It was delish and I made a start. My imagination is so huge! The reality is I started. Yeah!

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Annabel Worsley

I’ve had loads of great ideas over the last few years of what I want to create, but fear of being ‘sucky’ and not having enough experience have held me back. There has been a huge energy shift for the better in my life during the last few weeks, and I finally feel ready to start creating my business, and look what pops into my inbox today. Marie your timing is impeccable as ever! Thankyou for the constant inspiration!

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Helena Lloyd

Call it serendipity, it was only last night I said to my husband, “I am a perfectionist, it is stopping me from starting”. I sort of knew this but now I realise it. The signs were always there. I don’t like ironing because I can’t get all the wrinkles out. Thankyou Marie and all the people with their wonderful input above, I feel like a worthy human being after all. I have saved this spot on my bookmarks so I can keep referring to it. I am having a beginners crochet workshop this weekend, the two people who are attending found me from my Facebook page, (who would have ever
thought, this is a million miles from my previous life). I created the event, not even really caring if anyone was going to come. I can forgive myself if I will be “sucky” at it. I loved the quote someone posted “Done is better than perfect”. Good luck to everyone and thank you again Team Forleo.

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connie curtis

I created a website never got off the coaching business because I had to get completely well to feel good to do this ( gluten, food allergies) I still was putting myself out there. I did a health workshop for women. I was so nervous and I shook the whole time I was in front of a group of 20 people. I dont even remember the rest and I did a radio show too. I think wow small things but it got me started so now I am doing it. Its keep me out there and in conversations. It was a good place to start. I know I can create a business.. To help people around gluten and food allergies.. coaching.. thanks for the reminder. Its all practice.

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Jacqui Pretty

I so resonate with this – I’ve just started offering my first workshops and, while I’m fairly comfortable of doing them one-on-one, I’m terrified of when I get my first group. My big question is, how do you market like you aren’t sucky, even if you are just starting out and could potentially be sucky?

PS – Love the dress. What brand is it?

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Kristen

It’s fabulous to see that I am in such great company. I think that those of us who have very lofty dreams and high expectations and are hard on ourselves because we want everything to be perfect are the potential world changers, we aren’t satisfied with the status quo but we do have to pull the trigger at some point. I have loads of courage around some aspects of my career, but putting my videos out into the world has got me stuckified big time. Yikes, I’ve been creating my Pilates Home Practice website for over 3 years. Although I finally filmed my first course, Pilates for your Life, which applies Pilates to daily activities in the Kitchen, the Garden, on the Stairs, at your Desk and in your Car, I can’t seem to share them. I am getting closer and having a mentor who nudges me is imperative. I’ve had nightmares where the cool kids in my profession tell me I can’t teach Pilates anymore. My work is geared more toward every day people than those who already do studio Pilates but my fears about those in the industry frowning on my contribution is holding me back. I can’t wait until I can say “it’s live!” Then I’ll put my energy toward the next course which will benefit from this learning experience. Wish me luck.

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Colette Nichol

I’m wishing you good luck Kristen! It’s totally normal to feel afraid about putting videos of yourself out there. I’m a video-maker myself, and in one of my early portfolio videos I shot myself talking to the camera, and I cringed every time I saw the video on my website. I’ve found a lot of my clients have the same fear around being judged by both themselves and others when it comes to online video. So you’re in great company! I hope you do get your videos out there, because the world/web needs inspiring content more than ever!

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Lori Evans

Good luck Kristen!! I am also a fellow Pilates Instructor. Best exercise ever!! My website is in development. It’s being programmed now.

This is the thing–you’ve got something to share…share it! Who cares what other’s think?! I do not follow the classic trained practice at all! That was created so long ago and what we know now it a lot more than what JP knew–which is a lot…but I am just saying…things have changed and the way we share Pilates should too! xox

Get it done and out there!

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Colette Nichol

This was amazing. I couldn’t stop laughing. I love the fact that you shared this! Although I feel like your first workshop actually wasn’t sucky at all. It was probably actually useful and inspiring to the five people (including your parents) who were there. Who knows what kind of ripples were set in motion by that first workshop. I definitely have video-shame about the first videos I ever created for my portfolio, and the first solo show I created, but at the same time I feel proud of myself for having the balls to put myself out there. Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this. It makes me feel like anything is possible!

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liz

I want to market cruise tours & on the side run yoga classes. The thought had been with me for over a decade. Why I didnt take of is my biggest fear….. how to market and get clients!!!!
Any tips & suggestions will be great.

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Leisa Briggs

I would really love to share this story that relates to your video Marie. Ok, so I have been holding off starting my video blogs for about 2 months. I was waiting until I got the perfect haircut, perfect makeup, setting up a perfect backdrop for my videos.

My partner and I went out for a dinner with extended family last weekend. One of the people at dinner sat quietly in the corner and looked uncomfortable to interact with others, every time that she laughed she would put her hand over her mouth embarrassed. She did not want to be in any photos and it was heartbreaking.

After the dinner my partner and I drove home and we both commented on how heartbreakingly sad it was to see someone with such a low self esteem. My partner turned to me and said “That is why you are a life coach, for women just like her”. I instantly got this electric fire raging through my body, because for the first time I realised that this has nothing to do with my F#&king hair, or makeup or a perfect backdrop.

I was practically screaming in the car when I was explaining to my partner that I have been missing the entire point of why I am actually doing the videos. I was so focussed on myself that I was waisting valuable time information to share with women.

My videos have to start at a sucky level, but my content will help women change their world.

I know that I will make beautiful videos like Marie TV in the future, but for now, I am going to focus on that fire in my body that was ignited on the weekend and keep focussed on why I became a life coach.

Thank you Marie. I hope that I also made someone realise that it has nothing to do with the things we most worry about. Think of your Ideal Customers and the rest will melt away.

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Kari

Oh man! You just described our current website and trade show booth…cringe. We are a small landscape contractor. We lost EVERYTHING on our website, including the domain name and went for six months+ without because we wanted the big shabang we had and not what we could now afford and/or pull off with my feeble web-skillset. Well, we (I) stuffed our (my) ego, eductaed myself and got an interum site up so we at least had a web presence and traffic on our site is way up..of course, it’s not hard to go up from ZERO. Nevertheless, when we launch our upgraded website later this summer, I’m expecting a great reaction. We garner the bulk of our clients at a Home Show (much like a trade show). In our booth, I really want that high-end vision that will wow potential clients and set us apart from what exists in our market. Alas, it’s not in the budget yet. But, just like the website, we’ll take one step at a time towards our goal and we WILL get there.

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Candice-from-Oz

This is great! Reminds me of my very first public speaking / training gig I ever did! My boss asked me if I wanted to do it, I was fresh out of university and I didn’t think I was ‘qualifed’ enough to do it but knew I was just being scared and that it look bad if I said no… so I said “Sure, I’d love to!” (complete lie). I was in my early 20’s so I dressed overly professional so I looked like I was “legit”, I spoke extremely fast, I moved around a lot and to make it worse, the company filmed me. I could only bare to watch about 30 seconds of me presenting afterwards… but a few people in the audience said that I was good (like, two) and my boss was pleased. 6.5 years on and I present regularly now quite comfortably and have had some amazing opportunities from just saying YES even when I feel like vomiting because I really mean NO! The funny thing is… that just like Marie’s first 5 people… we all have to have our sacrificial lamb audience that won’t be overly impressed… or they might be. It doesn’t matter. The point is that you’re up there and most of your audience probably feel like they wouldn’t want to be up there doing what you do… so now I just own it!

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L Collins

This one’s a big one for me. I absolutely hold myself back when I’m trying something new. I have BIG dreams and a hard time putting myself out there when I know that I will suck for awhile.

However, I HAVE done it.

When I first started teaching yoga, I KNEW that my classes were going to stink. I had gone through lots of training but I didn’t feel prepared. I knew that there would be people out there who would think that my classes were awful. Heck, I had thought similar things in other yoga classes. All these things made me feel small.

Putting myself in front of the class highlighted my lack of confidence, the sheer terror of teaching, my own judgmental attitude, and how much more I still needed to learn. I had to get to a point where I didn’t care what anyone else thought of me, and that took over two years.

Once I identified my own goals for each class and decided whether I had achieved them or not, then the jitters eased. I became my own barometer for success. And, that’s a much more empowered place from which to work.

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Mixed Media Michelle

Marie – it was because of some of your earlier videos that I stared creating my own. When I could SEE how your videos have grown over time, it reinforced that everyone starts somewhere and I’d never get better until I started!

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Mixed Media Michelle

And I remind myself that building a business is a marathon, not a sprint!

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Autumn

You make me laugh! I loved your video.

I recently posted my first ever video. It’s laughable, but I’m happy because I dared to put myself out there.

http://autumndawns.com/words-of-wisdom-7-14-14-push-yourself-out-of-your-comfort-zone/

Check it out for a chuckle!

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Rose

The timing on this perfect. And it made me laugh when you talked about the sucky workshop because I went through the same exact thing when I launched my coaching biz last year. My first workshop, I had 4 people.

I’m opening an online store soon and I am stuck because I have this “vision” of how I want it to be. Everything has to be perfect…but I’m realizing that if I try to get it perfect, I will never, ever be able to launch. I’ll just end up being totally cuckoo and I already feel like I’m driving myself crazy.

Thanks for the reminder. :)

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carla necole williams

ALL of my articles suck! I started blogging about 8 months ago and 99.9% don’t have my personality or sayisms in them. I just figured this out last week and have been writing since then to fix this. I just told my cousin today that it’s a good thing I have zero traffic right now. Gives me room to grow, ha know. I imagine my future subscribers and I laughing about them in the near future. At first I was bombed out but now I just shake my head and laugh. I just keep putting myself out there and doin it scared.

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Kate

Totally guilty of waiting for something to be “perfect” before releasing it in the wild…

My website and packages are my main worry. I have been reading so many blog posts and ebooks about how to do this, that, and the other – preparing my site to be off-the-charts awesome but not actually implementing things.

JUST DOING RESEARCH which is like expecting my gym membership card to make me fit. Errrr….

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Hanni InParis

You are not alone! Let’s get in our websites this week!

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Natalia Sarah - The Copywriting Coach

This video spoke to me SO MUCH. Marie, I’ve been watching your videos for a couple of months now but this one was like “aaaah” cue halos and angel harps and the like – totally spot on.

I definitely struggle with perfection paralysis. Sometimes I don’t even get anything done during the day because I start out in the morning with the most absurd, unachievable goals and the pressure is too much.

I am going, right now, over to my desk to edit my first webinar video -something I have been putting off for way too long because I know it kind of sucks…

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Kayleigh Jean

I SO needed to hear this message today. In my second business, I am learning little by little to let go of unrealistic perfectionism. A couple of years ago I led my first raw probiotic pickling class. 10 people came, but I didn’t charge enough so I barely broke even. And I was SO nervous! My mouth felt REALLY dry which made it even more awkward doing all the speaking, and my heart was beating soo fast! I have serious stage fright, which I consider to be another form of this type of “unrealistic perfectionism” that causes you to be incapable of relaxing and just BEING. Just the physical sensations of it can be awful!

But after 10 or 20 minutes of the class had gone by I felt much better. It’s always the first actions you take that are the most challenging and scary.

After that, you’ve got momentum, which makes it easier.

Thanks for this message, it felt serendipitous! I just needed to hear it!

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Marvette

Thank you for today’s video!

Until a week and a half ago, I was too afraid to even publish my website. Since then, I have been on fire! Publishing blog posts, reaching out to ICAs, and searching for new opportunities to build my list. I am so motivated right now but I still have to fight perfectionism off. This video is giving me more encouragement to continue!

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Kate Robinson

This is so great! Thank you for your wisdom Marie! So timely. I just wrote a little blog post on creating vs. consuming (http://www.katerobinsonphotography.com/2014/07/create-consume/) which talks about why we should push ahead and create MORE than what we consume online. It’s so easy to get stuck looking at what everyone else is doing, and not ever moving ahead with what you want to do! Comparisonitis or perfectionism is so easy to halt your business and your dreams! Thank you again. Kate x

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Sacha Marie

Marie, I LOVE your new intros to MarieTV. They’re so fun.

As for what’s holding me back, I’d like to put a short introduction video up on my site, but the thought of it being a little sucky has definitely been holding me back. After this week’s ep I will be pushing through that fear and getting it done! Thank you.

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Hanni InParis

If I had a penny for every time that perfectionism prevented me from doing something I would be a millionaire by now! I must say it’s quite encouraging to see that I’m not the only one who’s experienced this and that something isn’t simply wrong with me. I feel quite empowered now to move forward despite things being in my mind, less than perfect. Thanks Marie for this video and to everyone else for sharing.

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Maria

Oh Marie, such valuable sharing. This is absolutely gold – I have just been through a process where I just couldn’t move forward. Boy it is such nice (freeing) to be on the other side. A great reminder. Thank you gorgeous soul – for sharing your experiences and valuable timely wisdom. Love, Maria

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Hanni InParis

f I had a penny for every time perfectionism prevented me from doing something, I’d be a millionaire by now! I must say it’s quite encouraging to see that I’m not the only one who’s experienced this and that something isn’t simply wrong with me. I feel quite empowered now to move forward despite things being in my mind, less than perfect. Thanks Marie for this video and to everyone else for sharing.

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FayAnn

This is so positive and uplifting! I have had so many cringe worthy moments but they are definitely fuel for my creative fire. I learn from my mistakes, whether big or small and pick myself up and move forward. Totally agree everything you said, Marie! x

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Ritu

MARIE! I am obsessed with your dress. It’s beautiful! On the first workshop cringe-factor, yes you are right. Starting small gives such incredible confidence boosts! Here’s a pic from my second workshop (can’t find the pic of my first one) http://thelifester.com/thank-you-for-one-of-the-best-evenings-of-my-life/. There was 15 of us in the first one which is awesome but I didn’t keep up the momentum which feels so disappointing now. Never too late to get back on the horse though. Thanks for inspiring me! xx Ritu

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Fred Connors

I was asked to speak at a ‘Wellness’ conference on the subject of ‘success’ and I introduced my talk with a question to the audience: “How many of you totally suck at something you wanted to be great at?” There was a feeling of discomfort in the large room and when I shared stories of how I sucked at everything I am now known for being great at, people had permission to share. It was like magic. The organizers who were initially timid asked me back to speak on the same subject the next day. We are afraid to SUCK because it means we failed. We need to fail in order to learn and get better at what we are passionate about. Many need permission to do so. I am glad you gave them that.
Kudos to you Marie, for totally sucking, and then not.

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Jimmy Adams

It took a loooong time for me to get over the need to be perfect. That, and Prozac (my BFF). The truth is, I’ve always been afraid to standout, because I didn’t want to look like a fool. My need to be perfect stemmed from the need to not stand out from the crowd. I had an illusion that everyone else in the world were perfect. And, if I were to obtain perfection, then I wouldn’t stand out. This ideology eventually became the downfall of my earlier developmental years.
I’m a very solitary, introverted kind of guy, by nature. I stayed as low key as possible. Whenever someone pointed me out in the class, it always progressed to being picked on and teased at, for whatever reason. There were so many nights of tears carrying me away to sleepyland. It was my fear of making mistakes and stand out in disgrace, that caused me to miss out on so many opportunities to shine. I look back and regret sometimes that I didn’t give it a try and show what I could do, no matter how sucky I would have been. At least, I would had learned to shed my fear of rejection, embarrassment and allowed myself to love myself just the way I am. Thank you Marie. You are so amazing!

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Carol Schulte

Marie,

Oh my goodness THANK YOU!!! SO apropos today ~ I actually wasn’t even going to watch this episode as I’ve been so busy trying to get my first ‘small and sucky’ workshop TOMORROW ‘just right’ !!! Been living in the land of perfectionist paralysis for a while now, or ‘Oneday Isle’ as I sometimes like to say. However, no more! I am finally giving myself permission to take one small step at a time…

I so appreciate you willing to share your honest stories and remind those of us starting out that those ‘pros’ out there also began as amateurs.

Look forward to coming out to play :-).

Carol

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Stephanie

Marie, thanks so much for your wonderful and motivational videos! I was referred to you by my trainer Tiffany Rothe who took your B School and highly recommends you!

I am starting my own women’s luxury footwear brand, and I am stuck in this quest for perfection…it seemingly dictates all of my decisions, or lack thereof, and I am stagnating. Mentally I tell myself that it is ok to make mistakes and that neither Christian Louboutin nor Brian Atwood started out a shoe design genius who knew how to run their own business, but there is some disconnect in my mind and soul about thinking that, and BELIEVING that.

Hopefully I can tell myself enough times that this process will be an imperfect but educational one enough times that I will finally believe it, lose the fear, and dive in.

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Amy

Hi, Marie! Yes, I absolutely relate to perfectionism limiting someone. HOWEVER, after completing B-School, I can hear your voice cheering me on to take CONSISTENT baby steps…AND I just held my free live webinar. It was not perfect, but I had a blast! It was a tiny crowd, but I know have 3 very loyal followers – asking for more. I had to start somewhere, and I am so glad that B-School gave me the tools to get started…for real – not just stuck in the indefinite planning stages.

Warmly,
Amy

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Amy

*now
Oh, man! My first comment on your site even had a spelling error. See, I am facing this perfectionism thing head on! LOL!

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Amy

Love the term perfection paralysis. I need not reveal more than that :-). It is true that we need to start somewhere, otherwise, we are forever going nowhere. Thanks for the encouragement!!

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Martha Villegas

Love it Marie!
I can so relate. Since the beginning of this year I told myself I wanted to start a you personal development tube channel, to share my ideas with everyone!
The months flew by and nothing was done. till finally last month i posted my 1st video! :) Yay me! It really did get be pumped and now I am committed to really going hard at it :)
Love you Marie!!
-Martha

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Jane

Have..to…google…hand thong. (oh!)

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Linda

I’m a stand-up comic, and I clearly remember my 5th (and worst) stand-up gig…

It was in a dirty backpackers, the stage was a pool table with on old wooden board put across it to stand on. I got up full on confidence that my set was going to kill, and everyone would laugh. Instead I was met with complete silence, except for one drunk girl in the corner who was laughing (only not at anything that I was saying).

Oh, and on top of that I was wearing a really short skirt, and because the pool table was so high, all the people at the front could see my underwear… and they weren’t even pretty panties!

I truly sucked and it was the longest 5 minutes of my life!

However nothing in comedy ever seemed as hard after that, and now I’m getting ready to launch a web show where I combine my comedy with singing and playing the Celtic harp (yep I’m multi talented), from which I plan to sell my songs online to a global audience!

:)

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Mary

I am guilty of being a perfectionist, and I think it nearly lead me to a nervous breakdown!!! Long story short, in January I left a very well-paying career as a litigation attorney, and I’m now one month into my “starting sucky” as a personal chef and freelance editor. I’m nearly broke – but for the first time, possibly ever, I look forward to going to work, and I am so happy.

Here’s the back story. I spent 17 years in the restaurant business, from the time I was 15 until I graduated law school at the age of 33. I waitressed, bartended, catered, you name it. After eight years of practicing law, I was MISERABLE. My perfectionism had a lot to do with my misery. I could easily spend 6 months drafting a motion so that it was perfect. Hell, I could spend an hour writing a three sentence email, just to make sure my message would be perfectly clear to the recipient. Well, in the legal field you usually don’t have six months laying around to draft motions at your leisure or hours to write emails. I felt perpetually behind in my work because I wanted it to be perfect. Because I cared so much about the work I was producing, I began working 60, 70, 80 hours a week trying to keep on top of the work load, and still deliver “perfect” work. I finally realized that, among other reasons (so much negative drama!), practicing law was not the right profession for me. In a way, I accepted the perfectionist aspect of my personality, and realized that I’d never be happy as a litigation attorney. Knowing I would be leaving, I worked my butt off for six months trying to get my workload down to a manageable level that could be passed off to another attorney, and with no other job lined up, I gave my notice and quit.

I took a month to drive across country and “decompress” and I realized some very prominent aspects of my personality that had been suppressed during my “law” years. Although I am a perfectionist, I’m also a free spirit and a creative soul. I started looking for a new job, but I was really turned off by the thought of going to work for someone else. I felt an intense desire to be the one calling the shots. Meanwhile, the bank account was dwindling (although I had a great paying job as an attorney, I’m still buried in law school loans, mortgage, etc.). I started looking for smaller odd jobs that would be quick money like house cleaning, bartending, or dog walking.

I happened upon an ad for a busy family looking for a personal chef. Now, when I was going through my many miserable years as an attorney, I spent a lot of time thinking about my dream job. On the rare Sunday that I didn’t spend working, I would spend it cooking all day, making my food for the week. Being a personal chef often came up as a “dream” job, but because I have no “formal” culinary training, I always dismissed it, telling myself no one would want me to cook for them without formal training, among other useless negative thoughts as to why I would never be hired. But the reality was, I spent 17 years working in restaurants, I love to cook to the point that I have referred to it as my therapy, and anyone I cook for loves my food. So, I applied for the job, and I got it. And I LOVE it!

The past month has been my “starting sucky.” I believe that this first client will lead to others. I’m in the process of setting up a website to showcase pictures of my food and menus. In addition to cooking, I have been doing some freelance writing and editing. Are you noticing a theme? I am calling the shots! While I am still working for others, I’m in a position to accept the jobs I want. Between the cooking and writing/editing, I’ve been able to strike a balance between the my creative side, and my “perfectionist” side.

When I accepted the job as a personal chef, I was so nervous and intimidated. I still am. This family is no stranger to fine dining, and I was afraid I’d be called out as a fraud on my first day. But I decided to embrace the title “personal chef” and give it my absolute best.

The Seinfeld episode “The Stakeout” kept popping into my head in the days after I accepted the position. As George and Jerry are coming up with their story as to why they are staking out a woman that Jerry is interested in dating in the lobby of her office building, George decides he’s going say he’s an architect that works in the building. Jerry skeptically looks at George, and says, “You’re an architect?!” To which George responds bluntly, “I’m not?”
Gotta love George’s conviction in that statement.

We all have to start somewhere. So when that little voice in my head starts mocking me and questioning my abilities as to whether or not I can handle being a personal chef without any formal training blah blah blah, I just say to myself, “I’m not?”

Here’s that Seinfeld episode for your comedic enjoyment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67L0pbneT2w

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Heather

I love your story and I can so relate!!! Good luck to you.

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jolee g. macdonald

Well I think my experience and journey has been quite the challenge, and its not your average norm…. What made it difficult for me to accept starting from the bottom was perserverance, and a lot of patience. I lacked those two traits so severely. I mean who doesnt love instant gratification or results? And I also have a hard time with accepting change or detours… because quite honestly it makes me feel like a failure. Ive always had a huge fear with knowing that Ive failed miserably at something. Ive learned that when you put all of your effort into some big dream or goal, and each time it doesnt go the way you expected its either because your missing something, your not ready, or the route you had invisioned isn’t really the best most beneficial route to be taking. And thats the exact experience I had encountered over the past year- with the most important delicate part of myself// My Health*. I had went through a horrible experience with the doctor that was caring for me, and the end result was it just made me sicker. To top it off I got kicked out of my parents house in the middle of winter with nowhere to go- Now thats what I call starting from the very bottom of the pit!. After searching and reaching out to health & environmental organizations I was completely and utterly drained, I felt pretty lost as well, and defeated. Thats when i started m own blogging website through wordpress. I mean just trying a different approach is refreshing, and really helps me look at my situation from a different perspective thats for sure…. Once I gathered all my strength/courage/will power I had left I mastered the leadership role and it fit quite well into my life. I did extensive research, contacted a news broadcasting company about the housing effects (even though they didnt email me back, it still felt really good), I also notified the Ontario College of physicians and Surgeons and explained to them the care I recieved ( I investigated further and found out that I wasnt the only patient who was mistreated ), and I found an amazing Community Health Service that Is taking very good care of me !!! Plus an apartment thats safe and healthy for me to live in, miracles happen every single day-sometimes they may be hidden, but theyre there. Every person struggles, and there is a different bottom pit for each person. It just depends how badly we want to climb out of that pit that determines our strength to fight the battle, overcome the hardship, and reap the fruits of our labour.

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Spike Spencer

Why, yes we are sailors! We sail in a club out of Marina Del Rey on a 36 foot Catalina. Let us know when you are in town and we’ll see if we can get ya out on the awesome Snta Monica bay.

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Byron Reaney

Hi Marie,
I am a retired sailor and am stuck on writing my book that shws people how to find their life purpose in a day. I am fearful that it will be sucky, and I am stucky. I have a message to bring to those who need it, I will find the courage to go with it and make it good, not perfect. Thanks for the awesome content!

Byron reaney

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Nadine Nelen

This video reminded me when I got the first proofread of my first book. I could hardly bring myself to read it, I was too embarrassed to talk about it and it just sat there for 3 months. Then I took the next step and now that it is on Amazon it feels really good that I got over myself and the need for wanting my first book (a memoir) to be perfect. I loved watching this video because it reinforced my new belief that things don’t have to be perfect to be good and enjoyable
http://www.nadinenelen.com

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Laura de Lacy

Haha! So true! I had about 10 booked for my first workshop, and ended up presenting to the grand total of… 2. I didn’t let it get me down though, and gave those 2 people an awesome session. In turn, they gave me fantastic feedback, which meant that my next one was a little larger, then a little larger again. I now regularly speak to groups of 100+.

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Shannon

Marie,

Thank you. This is what I needed to hear. I am at a fork in the road, and I am excited and nervous. Your perspective is a great reminder that some action is better than no action.

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Sibylle

Marie, I love your Q&A sessions! The message is always succinct and relevant (I used to hold back for fear of sucking A LOT – still do sometimes), and I just love seeing you in action! You’re beautiful, clever, cool and funny, and not afraid to show it! Just love that. Thanks

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Naware Danaus

Marie, I’m forever amazed at the serendipitous nature of MarieTV! Just last night I went through some major purging of old client files. The entire bottom half of my filing cabinet is dedicated to work info including client packets for my business and some patterns for my other business (www.aradiashand.com). What spawned this purging was that I’m upgrading my services and refining some of them, a few years ago I was just starting out in numerology and was just including it in part of my wellness coaching. I hadn’t a plan or anything super profesh, it was mostly just for me to have another angle to help people with and let them into on some juicy deets about themselves for more clarity.

***Fast Forward*** to now…I’m developing numerology consults as part of my Intuitive Counseling practice and I really am now ready to step it up and full on discuss it with my peeps! So I figured, hey I’ll make room and purge old files from clients I’m not working with, update some of the ones still on the books, and have a fresh and clean start.

Then I started looking through the files and those cringing episodes started coming on. So hardcore that I felt really bad. I thought back to when I started in 2008, the total lack of clarity and organization compared to now. I went back to 2011-12 to another ugh moment and I just shook my head. I can’t believe that I’d did “that”…watching your video, I know that I did the best I could in the situation I was in. I know I continued to up my game and work on myself and my work and it’s now a thousand times more polished and hey proof in the pudding “I’m refining an offer now…”

So thank you for helping this gal feel better and focusing on the progress and growth that I have had in using the experiences as stepping stones into more awesome! <3

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Cynthia

Hi Marie! Your video came in the nick of time! I have my first food demo at My local Starbucks this Friday morning..I work as a RN in NYC and had this idea for a breakfast product that started five years ago..The first person to believe in it was my beloved cousin Barbara who passed away two years ago this month..I have vacillated with this project but just couldn’t forget about it..The two people at this Starbucks are wonderful so I’m giving it my best ! I’m so glad I found Marie TV and love reading the replies post videos..You’ve all been an inspiration for me!! Thanks to all!!!

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Skye

Good luck Cynthia – I hope this is an amazing success for you! You go girl…

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Heidi

Thank you Marie, this video was like made for me. Only recently there has awaken a stronger will to share, put myself out there and see what it all brings inside of me that is stronger than the doubts I have been having before. The doubts are still there but somehow they seem smaller.

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Joy

It’s like you are in my head, Marie! I have been stalling with a few blog ideas I have in my head out of fear that it’s not perfectly designed. Hearing how you started gives me so much encouragement. Thank you!

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Joni Hubred-Golden

Uploading my first ebook to Amazon.com was a NIGHTMARE, and after it was published, I had to upload corrected PDFs eight times.

Eight. Times.

But doing that gave me the confidence to start and finish my second book, and now I’ve started research for a third. The truth is, hardly anyone except your closest friends and maybe a few random strangers will ever see your suckiest work. Getting that out of the way frees you up to do it better next time, when more people are watching!

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Yesenia Garcia-Key

I am definitely stuck and your video blog hit the nail right on the head. My friend forward me this link, because she knows I need to push and I need to hear it from other sources. Why am I so afraid of failure or not having the resources needed to push forward. It’s so weird how I put these things in my head and they control my thoughts to do what I want to do… Huh! A fear of doing what I am meant to do… what heck is that called? Thank you for you blog, YGK.

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Cat Knott

Hi Marie, I just wanted to say a huge thankyou for todays film – as I look around me on my desk I have notebooks and notebooks of ‘ideas’ that I’ve had over the years that I’ve only over the last two years had the courage to put into action because I didn';t think I could do them ‘well enough’ for people to be interested. When I look back at the dates and see what I could have had done already if I’d only taken action then… sigh!! Better later than never though. Nothing is ever perfect, its just one step at a time and it’s all getting done.

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jelli

I feel like this point’s been driven at me a million times this past month. Getting stuff done and going for it is SO much better than waiting around for perfect. Thanks so much for reminding me and for sharing your own experience, Marie.

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Wendy

Hi Marie,

Thank you so much for this post! This statement describes near perfectly *pun intended*, “Or maybe you’re a stickler for perfection and want things to turn out **just right** otherwise, what’s the point?”

I have been on the verge of writing a blog for months now. I have brainstormed SO many topics and I’m finally set on an idea for my blog (the market REALLY needs it), but I haven’t been able to push it live because I keep procastinating and perfecting EVERYTHING.

I drive myself nuts.

But you’re right, not starting out sucky means that you stay sucky! Thanks, Marie.

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Mary Ann

Hi Marie, thanks so much for this video, it’s perfect for me at this stage in my life. I’ve just started my own creative coaching program for Moms looking to renew themselves. Being a stay at home Mom for 9 years and now re-entering the workforce myself, I’ve found that there is so much I want to learn. I started my blog http://www.maryannskar.com and it needs a lot of design work, but I’m learning and really putting my work out there. Taking risks, and chances is what I need right now. Thanks again for the video.

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Jenny Livingood

Super True! I am a recovering perfectionist. I slip up from time to time. I learned from you, Marie, that I needed to just put things out there without them being perfect. I really needed to just do it. That helped me immensley!!!

I started my business with a crappy logo that was totally not perfect that I made myself…I’m currently making a new one.

I had a goal that I would get my first newsletter out by such and such date and I just had to force myself to do it – even though it wasn’t perfect. It bugs me that there’s a blatant typo in it and I can’t fix it!

My whole life has become about “Progress – Not Perfection!” It’s making my life run more smoothly and happily!

I’m learning to run a business as I go. I am okay with making mistakes. Life is beautiful when I can allow myself to make mistakes!

Thank you for all you do, Marie!

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Mary

Yes Marie! I don’t publish my poetry because it’s out of date like a minute after I write it…. Your calling me out Sista ~!

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Kelsey

So fabulous!

When I did my first live online workshop it was 4 people, one was my mom, one was my boyfriend’s mom, and the last two were my friends. The quality of the videos wasn’t spectacular, but all four participants loved it and it’s true, you can only go up from there!!

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Joy

This is the most meaningful video you have ever done Marie!!!! Thanks for reminding me that everyone doesn’t start at the top.

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Skye

That was sooooo perfect for me Marie and I agree with Joy that “for me” this was the most meaningful clip I’ve watched. I laughed because I’m the one who has also created some “sucky” video’s as a Life Coach in order to “help the world” and have been both surprised and disappointed at my 38 views!! And I breathed a sigh of relief to know that it is okay that I put out these video’s because it meant I was doing something, not nothing!
Loved it, loved it Marie. Thanks for the encouragement. (Link to my first video called “Introduction” !!! hHHaahhaaa – still laughing…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs557OabAik

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Sonia

WOW, Marie today you look amazing! Great hair and a gorgeous dress (this colour really suits you) – you look both Hot and beautiful!
My husband and I are both creative perfectionists. There are times when we remind each other to “be less perfect” or “80/20″. The intent is to encourage time freedom. To prioritise our efforts based on the desired outcome for that project. It’s still a struggle – our core traits like to rear their ugly heads. I’m a sculptor and have learnt that the initial idea is just that – the theme. Once I get started the sculpture will lead me to where it wants to go. (Perfectionist – my polymer clay sculptures usually take between 100 – 250hrs to create and they’re only small they get baked inside my kitchen oven. I’ve started using ceramic clay because I have to finish faster so that it doesn’t dry out ). Thank you so much Marie

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Mary Jane Allen

Good common sense advice as always, Marie. Thank you. :)

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McSwain Fowler

Marie – I am a perfectionist and for 6 months I have been working to get everything just right before opening up my coaching and seminar/speaking business. Well, I finally stuck my neck out (maybe for my head to get chopped off!) by setting up an 8 week MasterMind Group study and I am advertising it as starting on August 27th. So now, I have left myself no choice. It’s out there and I can’t take it back! I am going to do it – ready or not. BTW, you are such an inspiration! Thanks a million for all you do. I hope some day I can serve the world in the scope and size that you are able to serve. Love ya
McSwain

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Sally Ann Webb

Woohoo Marie…. thats the first time anyone has said ‘Hello Sailor’ to me ;) Im a sailor. Well, was for 15 years until a three months ago. Currently Im working thru your B-School modules (2014) and studying Nutrition to build a business around my true passion… living healthy and living an amazing life. I suffer greatly from perfectionism and I needed this video today to remind me to just get started… or, to just set my sails and rock my boat!!!
Thank you :)

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Julie Michelle Moyer

What a great start to my day! I got stuck there in perfection for years. I would never “finish” the jewelry I was making. Recently my hubby and I are working on getting rid of that “all or nothing” mentality. It seems to creep into every area of life and then we aren’t really living, just existing. Reading all your comments helps me to realize I’m not alone! I was just thinking the other day about some of my jewelry that’s out there. Oh so sucky! Haha! But hey, it’s done! I even have sucky stuff on my board that my husband hung up which I was tempted to take down because it hurts my eyes-but then I thought “No, it’s pushing me to keep going and growing!” So up it stays! Marie Forleo and everyone here, thanks for all your input and stories. They are life changing! It helps so much to know I’m not in the boat alone :) love!

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Karen Ann Kennedy

I did my first workshop for nine people at my karate school. I did pretty much the same thing that Marie did; had the little easel, and some handouts, etc.

I was disappointed that I only had nine people (I had dreams of speaking at Madison Square Garden!) But I realized that in order to get to MSG, I needed to start somewhere and I stared with my nine!

It was a great experience, and as I continue to go out to groups (is 2 people a group?) I realize that with each consecutive presentation I give I’m building up those good skills so when I get to the big time…I’LL BE READY!

Good luck to all of you that are out there trying to make it work! P.S. Even if your presentation is small…I bet you it’s not sucky!

Be well,

Karen

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Stephen P Brown (@Stephen_P_Brown)

Hi Marie –
Another great episode. Thanks.
Perfection Paralysis happens to me all the time. Right now, in fact, I’m in the process of working with some others to help people make better choices in life (see http://isitreallymychoice.com/) and yet hosting my first ever Google Hangout with a few select people I already know makes me so nervous I haven’t yet scheduled it! LOL…
C’mon Stephen… get on with it :)

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sandie

This speaks to me at the perfect time… I have just resigned from a career as a nurse and given up all financial security. I was frustrated at having to put my life on hold and not being able to do what I love – and so I have taken a huge leap of faith. I am not ready, but I have arranged to run classes at two local papercraft shops. I am working my socks off trying to promote myself and get prepared – it feels very amateur and chaotic but I need to throw myself in there and learn from experience. I am doing the best I can… and grabbing the opportunities as they come. I have worked hard for this, taking baby steps, and now is my time to go for it – ready or not!! Thank you for sharing your own experience, as you say, we all have to start somewhere!

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Iris Delgado

You are fantastic, thank you for your work.

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Marina

Can’t thank you enough for this fab video, Marie! I stumbled upon it while I was Twittering and being bumbed out with myself because of the problem you describe in this post. It almost got me out of my flow. So, this video was just in time. Made me laugh out loud and that’s a good thing. I think you’ve come very far since your first workshop and I admire you for that. Keep up the good work! Can’t promise anything, but I’ll try my hardest to silence my Miss Perfectionist. Because now I see that she is not getting me anywhere near where I want to be. Here’s to starting small and/or sucky! :-)

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Nicole

I’m for sure stuck in that paralysis. I have so much info to share and want to put on my blog but everytime I start to write something, its not good enough or I dont like the recipe photo I had taken (not a photographer and cannot compete with others who are) that I end up deleting the post and I have barely written on it.
So glad to see that I am not alone, and will have to work harder at just being ok with putting it out there even if its not where I want it to be yet.

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Shobelyn

I love your video, Marie.They are words of wisdom every time and a push to be patient with myself in order for me to fulfill my dream. Thank you.

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Miranda

So true Marie! This is a great post…

The first seminar I taught was also very small like yours. I set it up as professionally as I could, and also did my best to deliver great value to the few participants.
When the seminar was finished, I refused to criticize myself. Recalling Louise Hay, I did as she did and I said to myself: “a few more of these you will be a pro”. Later, I allowed myself the space to do some constructive analysis of what could be improved. I kept doing that after every seminar, and I did indeed eventually become a pro. Or so I thought…

Success builds on success, and we do need to allow ourselves to start small and keep growing. A tall tree was once a seed, a successful person was once a baby, and so on. It is indeed very important to start, and from there keep improving.

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Lynn Cook

Hey Marie!

Thanks for revealing how you started small, despite the reality of your first workshop not matching your ultimate vision, you did it. This is something I need to do right now, put my work out there and start to build it up.

I’m working on a Kickstarter campaign to sell my drawings and paintings and I’m getting stuck thinking about my video … but I’ve just got to do it. Make it simple, put it out there, see what works and what doesn’t. Try and try and try.

Thanks for your encouragement

Lynn

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Marcolina

Marie you are changing my life one video at time. I’m so happy I came across your website and you are just downright inspiring, not only for your coaching, but for your funny personality. You may be the first coach that I’ve come across like that. It’s kinda of ironic that essentially being “stuck” was your topic because that’s really how I’ve been feeling. Originally I thought it was my own doing. I’d create small disorganized messes in my home, and procrastinate for weeks. I watched one of your other videos about completing tasks, and now no more mess. When I’m doing well, I often dream big. When I have creative ideas, I usually start be getting my necessary tools. Shopping!!! But then, stuck, stuck, stuck. I was a total perfectionist back in school. It completely makes sense that I afraid of being lousy. I’m 22. I majored in Film/New Media originally with hopes of moving to a bigger city to start my career. I’ve stayed around because I felt I had an obligation to help out with the family diner. But the reality is that the business may not be much longer. I have a passion for fitness, a love for dance (but no professional experience), I’ve had book ideas, canvas ideas, and even ideas for clothing. So much draws my attention, but it’s not in my field of study. I just don’t feel as if I’m as prepared/skilled in my chosen field as I thought I was going to be. I’m not sure if I’m out of love with it or not, and that why I have lots of other ideas. I want that job/life I love. If I could seek fitness or dance job I think…I’d love it. I’m honestly worried that my education would be wasted. I know a lot of my family would think that too. I’ve already given 8 years to the diner, and it was my crutch. My excuse, my income. But now, the change I’ve always wanted is here but I’m not sure where to start. I’m sorry for this rant. I just truly feel you may be the only person who might understand me at this moment. I’m stuck, I’m full of ideas, I have so many creative paths, but now I also have to have a new income path. I’d love to mesh it all together, but I sure just feel overwhelmed.

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Rahna Barthelmess

Thanks for the great video! I think there’s a saying on the wall at Facebook that says, “80% executed is better than 100% undone”
Whenever I feel the need to be a perfectionist, I remember that…and try to move on! I liked your message-that confidence builds little by little over time.

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Marsha Battee

Love the message in this video! It’s always a good reminder to know that the pros also had to start somewhere!

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Mary

I just gave my first weekend workshop online this month — with 7 people. :-) The good news: 5 of the 7 thought it was literally life changing for them, so now I feel confident that I can really help people in a much bigger way. Thanks for this video, Marie.

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Jess

This was a great video to watch this morning. I am struggling to figure out if I should participate in a cupcake battle. It’s going to be work plus I’m afraid that it wony be perfect. I’m still not sure if I should be it but atleast I’ve got a new perspective on it. Ahhh…. Why is this so hard

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Kacey

This is exactly what I’ve been thinking about lately! Last year, I started small when I put out a 5 song EP. I had lived in Nashville for 2 years before I released any music because I was so intimidated by everyone else. Then I was like “I’ll never get anywhere if I don’t start anywhere.” So that’s when I decided to just put out the music that I had and see where it would take me. I was afraid of success and I was afraid of failure. But now, I have this really awesome outlook on it. I’m just gonna do and go for it without any fears, without any pressure on myself, and I’m just gonna love what I do! Then, success will come. Thanks for this video. I’m always so inspired by them!

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Regina

I love it! Just what I needed! I just graduated from IIN and I am a certified Holistic Health Coach. I am preparing a small workshop for my co-workers at Sephora (my current day job!). My workshop is titled–Eating for Energy & Radiant Skin. It is a small start, and I’m going for it. I know my first clients will come from there. And it’s so cool, because these lovelies will give me lots of honest feedback, too!

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Alison of alisonsmith.com

There’s nothing worse than living in Sucky-Land-Central. It took me months to gather enough courage to create my first product (a video-based e-course all about How to Start Juicing), but I’m now in the game, with 7 clients signed up. Starting small is starting somewhere. And, in the end, taking ACTION is the only thing that matters. Anyone here also just starting out?

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sara

My ability to suck and my lack of fear of failure are two of my greatest assets. I have learned so much from those experiences!

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Ngoc Khong

Thank you, this is exactly what I need to hear right now. For a long time I’ve freezing my project. I’ve been hiding in my shell, being shy away from taking risks and continuing my project because of my excessive need for perfection. I am feeling giving up… but this video reminds me about why I’ve got here in the 1st place. Now I know what to do next. Thanks again.

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Anissa Pennyyman

Never despise small beginnings, thanks Marie!

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Holly Ladd

Wow, Marie. You always seem to hit the nail on the head. I totally suffer from perfection paralysis in addition to the fear of success – not a good combination. I hate looking the fool, but at the same time, I am not a detail oriented person. I know I make mistakes, so I am afraid to take those mistakes out into the world. Thus I stagnate. However, this video has inspired me to just go out and do it. I do have dreams about being a health and wellness advocate and food activist. I can’t help my community from my couch! Thank you for sharing your story.

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Irene Pollak

This is so me right now, I am 42 and I am almost at the end of the my Internet Comms degree and I am sitting on a team of 5 people. We are working together to launch a large website, with high profile people connections and it involves a documentary. So I feel like the small fish at the table. Yesterday I felt myself cringe when I mentioned something half assed instead of clarifying my point clearly but it has motivated me to be more prepared and rounded in future meetings. Also I am reading the Big Leap so that is helping.

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ilana

Im in this stage currently! As of one year ago I left my career in NY behind to teach English and travel the world. I envision making a difference in the world but I dont know how and I dont know where to start. I look around at successful entrepreneurs and I think Ill never be able to get to that level, Im starting too late in the game! Im afraid of making the wrong decision and afraid of financial risk. Thanks for this post, it was encouraging!

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Nellie

Omg! When I started out teaching kids yoga my first clients were my son, daughter , and niece lol! In a venue I was paying rent for out of the money earned from my “day job” lol!!!

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Oksana

Love you, Marie! I used to get stuck in that perfection mode due to fear of failure which I was completely unaware of! And then I saw what was stopping me and I just leaped from the corporate world into my own Life and Mind Coaching business helping not only individuals but also mindful businesses. I have workshops with various attendance and I am loving it no matter what. I do what I LOVE and I believe the Universe is sending me everyone I can help, and I am happy if I can help just one person! Love your style, Beautiful Lady! <3

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paige

Thanks Marie. This was a message that I needed to hear, just at the right time.

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Tessa Gazi

While the fear of being bad at something you want to try for the first time *might* have an effect on holding you back, I think first-timers are a lot easier than anything else because you don’t have the pressure of having to live up to your own or someone else’s expectations…
Great post anyhow, keep them coming

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Alexx

I am happy to announce Marie, that I used to be a sailor! ;)

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Crista the Dating and Relationship Coach

Marie – I just learned about you recently and you are adorable. Thanks for sharing your story about your first workshop. It made me crack up AND it gave me a good perspective where I am at in my development. I am a perfectionist, but over the past year I have just been moving ahead without things needing to be perfect and so many more opportunities are opening up.

Me no stucky. Me be ok with being sucky. :)

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Sundal

My first ever modelling job was for learn direct, I played a single mum holding a coffee up and laughing. 9 years later I finally got a vogue cover, I have three Harper’s bazaar openers in my portfolio, have shot with some of the top names in the industry and have agencies around the world. I’m not making thousands of pounds but I’m earning decent money to do something I love doing.

I really needed to watch this video today as I’m now ready for my next challenge, working on my fashion styling portfolio and a new fashion label so I am ready to make the switch soon. I lacked the confidence for years to put myself out there as a stylist and a designer, terrified I would be ‘found out’ and people would realise I was just winging it. Now I’ve realised everyone is winging it but it’s your passion and your willingness to learn on the job that separate the best from the rest. the payoff I got from all my hard years slogging away as a model, often not getting paid while I built my portfolio and finally breaking through 9 years later, has proved to me that if I apply the same dedication to another area, I could be even more successful. Your only limited by how much you believe in yourself so I’m going to feel the fear and do it anyway. Thanks Marie! You are an inspiration to us all.

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A Coronado

You’re so right! I find it especially hard since I’m surrounded by a very high level of design in the 9-5 industry I am in, and I expect the rest of the world to scrutinize my work/dreams/ideas the same way.

Then I go off and take a class at a local community center for fun and I am the freakin’ star of the class. We forget the a small percentage of the population (ie our audience, customers, etc) operates at a high level of design, and most people are very impressed with anything you produce, and always very supportive and complimentary.

I have to remind myself that my audience are not all like the people in my industry, and I can rock it and make my dreams come true. It doesn’t have to be perfect for me to move forward, I just have to make a move instead of over thinking it!

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Kat

Yes yes yes! This one’s for me. I’m struggling with starting my own marketing consulting business. When I sit down and try to get a business plan together it seems like every business name, concept, etc. I come up with isn’t creative enough. I struggle with knowing whether I’m ready or have it in me to leave the corporate nest and make the jump into entrepreneurship. On a side note, your videos have been very helpful in building my confidence, so thank you for all that you do!

-K

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Yvonne Zarnitz

I was soooooo nervous during my first puppy class. It was 2 hours and all I did was talk. My mouth went dry, I shook, I stumbled over my words. I remember not wanting to wait till the class was over and I was safely back in my car heading home. Thing is, I knew my sh!t!! ;) So everything I said was educational. I just wasn’t used to a lot of eyes on me! Plus, I was never good at making speeches and being in front of people. But I really wanted to educate people about dogs, dog care, and obedience training so I did what I had to do, and now I’m not nervous at all anymore. I have so much fun with it!!

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Kayli Schattner

I totally get where you’re coming from with this video! As a perfectionist, it’s hard to put anything other than my best work out into the world but as I’m figuring out pretty quickly here in the business world, it doesn’t get you anywhere! Sure, my website needs a few improvements in certain areas and my offerings could be a bit more laser-focused, but it will get there in TIME. Better to start now and grow then wait for the “perfect time” and never start.

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Fayth

Aloha & Namaste’

What an amazing message Marie.

It is just what I needed to hear to realize, the lack of momentum I experienced in the past.

Bringing new ideas, into physical form.

As I help perpetuate a campaign for my home town and state in Maui, Hawaii.

I couldn’t appreciate hearing this more.

I have dreams of singing, dancing, and being the activist God created me to be.

I have always felt torn on what to work on first, since I enjoy yoga, teaching, writing, and so much more.

Thank you again.

Sincerely,

Fayth

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Tami Terrell

I always enjoy watching your vlogs. They are very inspirational and encouraging. This one especially was helpful because I am experiencing some stagnation due to fear. I have no idea why but I am! I just moved to LA from Detroit to pursue a career in acting and entertainment. I’ve been here two months and haven’t done anything except secure two jobs that I work everyday. I’m working myself out of this rut but it’s hard when you see other people doing what you came to do and you haven’t even started. I’m pushing myself tho. I hope to take a step soon.

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Janelle

Launching my website in the next week or so… Can’t wait to start small and sucky!!

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Syaf

I have my own “I start small and sucky” story too. I’ve always wanted to be a speaker but I don’t have a book to promote on a “speaking tour”. I created a website and somehow it garnered the attention of a local newspaper right here in Malaysia. A school then invited me for a “talk”. It was scary. I didn’t have any cool powerpoint presentation to show to the kids. Just my story and my “advice”. I think it was a “sucky” speech. But I slowly learned and eventually I’ve been invited to more talks. I make sure to improve every time I speak.

Thank you Marie for this video. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

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Vanessa VanDyke

Yes I’ve been putting off starting my own coaching business because I thought I had to have everything perfect and in place, but I took some of my advice and set the goals to get started. I’m not at a place to start marketing my business after three months.
Thank you for your inspiration and encouragement.
Vanessa

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Lauren Robertson

Yes! I also taught workshops in a basement in Edinburgh. With my whiteboard and pens. But what was the alternative…stay home? Pfft.

We can only do the best we can at the time, and if that ‘best’ involves handmade materials and no natural light, so be it. As long as it’s infused with love, it’ll be the first step of many.

‘We’re lucky to be doing sucky!’

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JJ

Well said Lauren!!!

I agree 100%. I feel blessed to have the opportunity and courage to be doing anything sucky :)

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Jennifer Valley

New intro! I almost didn’t start my blog because I wanted to have a cool and artsy website but I couldn’t talk myself into buying a domain and/or template or learning all new design skills before I could even publish one article.

I went through a visual over haul a little while ago and while I’m happier with this change but I know I have a lot of work to do. I’m working on updating the coding and adding in the right colors and fonts. I’ll get there eventually but for right now I’m happy with ok.

Jennie’s Tweetable: Benefits of being sucky: You learn new skills!

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Stacey Justis Kelsey

I resinate with this on many levels as I start my new business. I have adopted the attitude of “start where you’re at” because I can always modify it later. – thanks for the words of wisdom – confirms my suckiness right now means I’m on the right path!!! woohooo!

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Jo

Hi, I want to set myself up as a French-English freelance translator but am really lacking in confidence! I’ve a First Class Honours degree recognised in France and England, have lived worked and studied in France for 5 years about 20 years ago. I have never specifically done translation work though and although I’m currently teaching a few people French, with pretty good results, I’m quaking in my bones! Do I get experience by doing stuff for free? Do I do a course? Or as many people seems to say, you’ve just got to do it! Is this perfection paralysis or just paralysis FULL STOP! Thanks for any help!

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Erin Pietrak

Love it.

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Kristin Anderson

I just self-published a children’s story about a family getting two Italian Greyhound puppies. It is not selling like I’d hoped. I know it’s a small market but I’m still disappointed. “Find Those Iggies” on amazon in paperback.
http://www.amazon.com/Find-Those-Iggies-Kristin-Anderson/dp/0692221247/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406301228&sr=8-1&keywords=find+those+iggies

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Jamillah Warner

Just what I needed. Thanks Marie! Note to self “Go forth and record Diva”

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Shannon

Initially, I thought to myself, “I’ve not started small & sucky…This is my first business, so I’m just starting.” But, when I sit back and think about it, I’ve started small & sucky at tons of stuff…and ended out big & not-sucky! The other day, I looked at my first lesson plan (this is a former traditional-school teacher here) and thought to myself, “Oh, that sucked!” But, it helped me start teaching and I became a beast at not just planning lessons, but developing entire curriculum.
Maybe starting always means small & sucky. I mean, even just looking back at the first research paper I wrote in high school compared to my thesis in graduate school, small & sucky to long & non-sucky. Learning to boil an egg to preparing a delicious New Year’s Day meal for 30+ people, small & sucky to filling & not-sucky. I can go on and on.
So, with starting The School House & Reading Nook, LLC, it’s about starting. Years from now when my school is widely successful I’ll look back and think, “That was so small & sucky!” and that’ll just mean I actually started!

Yay for starting…even if it’s small & sucky!

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Curtis Kamiya

Loved it!

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Michelle

Wow! this episode was SO important. I bet not being able to start small is 95% (or more) of my problems. And it is true, once you do it ONCE you have much more freedom. Biting the bullet, being vulnerable and sucking is what it takes! Well put!

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Heather

Well now ain’t’ this timely!!

I am turning 40 this month, ditched the corporate job in healthcare and I am pursuing my dream of working with animals on a larger, grander scheme. I have never felt such passion in my life and yes, I put it out there for all to here on FB and most of the comments were great. The negative nellies, hand to the face PU LEAZZZEE!! Got to keep my sense of humor. Thank you for this video. Time to go get my sucky on!!! WOOT WOOT!!!

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Mary Jane Sorensen

I was so shy when I was young. I have been pushing my boundries for many years now and find by living beyond your comfort zone you can accomplish great things! My scucky moment was when i was being interviewed for doing Interior Design for a “huge” condo development in my town. The day of the interview my son was sick so of course could not take him to school or daycare. I had to call the developer and contractor and tell them they would have to come to my home for the interview…..OMG was so unorganized and with a sick child you are not on your game not to mention having “Big Wigs” over to my house on no notice! Well I thought it went to crap but was SHOCKED to find out I got the contract. Was the worst and best day of my life all rolled into one!

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elif

Dear Marie,
You are gorgeous and full of inspiration.And your videos very spectacular.And they are always progressing by every aspect.Could you please inform us about your shooting process and camera background.I want to make my astrology videos and have to do it by myself and i dont know how should i start.Best regards,

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Elif

Dear Marie,
You are gorgeous and full of inspiration.And your videos are very spectacular.And they are always progressing by every aspect.Could you please inform us about your shooting process and camera background.I want to make my astrology videos and have to do it by myself and i dont know how should i start.Best regards,

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Mary Lynn Mura

Marie-My husband and I once did a seminar that had 7 attendees. Well, we counted ourselves, so maybe 5. We had such a huge fight on the way home that I kicked a side window out of the car. (No he did not leave me by the side of the road.) We laugh now when we disagree in the car and the kids yell, “Mom, kick the window! Kick the window!” As I venture into something new with my husband’s undying support, we will keep our senses of humor even if the start is “slow and sucky.” Thank you for your encouraging words. -Mary Lynn

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JJ

Marie-

So perfect!!

I just put down a deposit for my first workshop. I am praying 5 people show-up. And I won’t be using any props for fear of fumbling :)

Thank you so much for reminding me of why I am doing this!

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Valerie Bellamy

Thanks, Marie, for this very timely topic. It so happens that I am prepping to give my first workshop in a couple of weeks (I think I’m expecting seven people), and want to thank you for reminding me to give myself permission to be less than perfect. My new goal: Get as much feedback out of this workshop as possible and apply it for next time.

Thank you!

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Brandy Middleton

Thank you, Marie! This video is amazing! As many, I am very much a perfectionist. I have sat on my passion for so long because I wanted it to be perfect. I loved how you shared that we should not be afraid to start small and/or sucky…:). You are such an inspiration.

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Mel

So so true – and a timely post. I keep criticizing my early music and putting off my entrepreneurship dreams for “the right time” when I know “exactly what to do.” Well, I’ve been waiting for “the right time” for more than 5 years! Sounds like major perfectionism now that I look at it! Thanks so much for the reminder – and everyone for your comments about how you deal with perfectionism. I’m inspired by the transparency here!

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Dolisa WInkelman

Having my first workshop! Bamm!

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Amethyst`

Ha! My first small and sucky workshop was with 5 people, too. I made over $22,000. ;-)

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