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Is Your Business a Homewrecker? Three Steps To Save Your Marriage

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Today we’re heading into some tricky territory.

I can only imagine the amount of feathers that will be ruffled, and the upset that’ll be directed my way.

But the truth is, this topic affects a LOT of ambitious couples — most are just too ashamed to talk about it.

Left unexamined, this struggle leads many otherwise happy relationships to spiral down into a painful path of fighting and, ultimately, divorce.

Because when your significant other feels like your business is more important than they are, it’s a recipe for disaster.

When it gets to this stage, whether you realize it or not, your relationship is in decline. And if you don’t take action, it will only get worse.

Look. The only way to transform any pain point in your life is by bringing it into the light.

Talk about it. Get curious about it. Be compassionate with yourself and others and realize there is a solution…

And, if at all humanly possible, have some fun with it.

If you ever feel “guilty” about your business being your not-so-secret part-time lover, this MarieTV episode is for you.

You’ll learn three ways to save your relationship and — hopefully — generate many more ideas of your own to keep your business, and your love life, on track.

As I state in the video, this question was asked by a heterosexual married woman, so my answer was constructed for her.

If your relationship is not like hers, use this episode as a catalyst to examine your own relationship challenges and brainstorm potential solutions.

If you don’t like my suggestions — or if one of them offends you — that’s fine. Different strokes for different folks!

But my hope is that this episode will inspire you to find ways to create deeper connection and harmony in a way that works for you.

One final note: nobody is perfect in this department. When you truly love your work, and your relationship, striking the right balance isn’t always easy.

I struggle with this, as does every (honest) ambitious couple I know.

But the more we can set aside our shame, egos, judgment, and fear — and focus on honoring our ambition, and our partners — the easier it will get.

***If you’re a parent or have young kids around, wear your headphones or watch this one in private.

If your husband’s not impressed with your business, make it your job to blow his mind. @marieforleo

Now I’m curious…

Have you ever felt unsupported by your spouse? What steps did you take to get him or her onboard with your big vision?

If you have any insight or experience to share, I want to know about it in the comments below.

This is so important as life-long relationships and families are on the line here.

Seriously. If you’ve ever been in a painful spot in your life — especially when it comes to the people you love — then you know how lonely and helpless it feels.

Hearing the experiences from other folks who’ve been there, done that, and made it to the other side really makes a huge, positive difference.

Thank you, as always, for reading, watching and sharing your genius!

xox

Marie Forleo

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Read the comments or Add yours

Darlene with BlogBoldly

Yep.. we have to be responsible for ourselves! Our own lives.

My hubby doesn’t really get it but fortunately he does support me.

Thank you Gregg!

~ darlene:)

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Lisa Robbin Young

Hee. I totally understand that. When I was launching one of my earlier businesses, I had a very unsupportive tone from my husband. It took a lot of conversation to get clarity around what his issues were. He’s very risk averse, and I’m a LOT more risk tolerant than him.

The first thing I had to take under consideration was that I was trying to make him be a partner in the business – not something he wanted even if I did. He’s very much an “employee” kind of guy, and likes it that way. All the trying in the world to get him to come on board was only making him more uncomfortable.

I had to look elsewhere for my support and encouragement related to my business. Sometimes, they just don’t get it, and no amount of trying to “make” them get it will work.

It’s better to look to other like-minded souls for the nitty gritty of the business stuff if your partner just isn’t interested.

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Ree Klein

Good point. I’m a dive-in gal and my honey is a blue-collar worker through-and-through. I love that about him (manliness and all!) but he sees the risk and downside in everything and would prefer to just work for someone else.

He is, however, very supportive of my dreams but I do scare him some!

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Mary Jane Allen

I can really relate to Ree’s comment. :) I’m an intuitive healer, telepath who helps people manifest abundance into their lives with the Akashic Records and clearing people’s self-limiting beliefs and I’ve worked like a crazy person this last year to get into my purpose. My husband of 17 years has always been a blue collar man and just started working this year in a new career as an Electrician. I love him dearly, he is my best friend, but absolutely, we have certainly had some rocky times in the last couple of years, especially this last year.

I absolutely have scared him to the bone, this year, I know! However, as much as he is all about the physical world, I am who I am and he has learned over this past year that this is who I am, what I have always been meant to do and he’s becoming more and more supportive of my career. I’m not sure what he tells his friends at work that I “do” when they ask… :)

For now, things seem to be on a reasonably even keel and I do whatever I can to reassure him.

Blessings to all,
Mary Jane :)

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Cecilia

Hey Ree (and gals)
I am also a dive in gal, especially compared to my partner who is a slow builder. It’s a combo that I see quite often with my clients as well and I actually think it works if both parties are able to accept their partner’s nature.

I’ve learned is that what my sweetie wants the most is for me is to be happy. He gets grumpy about my business when it’s bringing me more stress than joy because he doesn’t like to see me in distress.

He certainly doesn’t totally “get” what I do or “believe” in it, but he knows that it’s important to me and supports me in that. To be fair, I don’t really “get” horror movies or role playing games but I know that he loves those so I support him enjoying them.

I worked with a couple recently who were very much on this spectrum of her being a fast mover, owns her own biz and him being more of a slow and steady, risk averse type. She had been putting off making changes to their home because she wanted him to help make the decisions but in the meantime years had gone by and nothing had changed. In working with them, I told her to get him on her team by letting him know that it would make her really happy if she could just run with making their house a home and if he could support her in that. He said yes, she re-did the whole place in a matter of weeks. When I followed up with him and mentioned how great the place looked he said “I don’t really notice, but I know it makes her happy which makes me happy.”

So maybe there’s something about explaining to our loves (and ourselves) how this sometimes stressful endeavour of running our own business makes us happy.

ox
Cecilia

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Joanne

Darlene, I totally hear you! My hubster is in a pretty conservative industry (financial advising), so my law-of-attraction-based coaching business is all a bit too woo-woo for him.

When I first discussed starting the business with him (over three years ago), he was very concerned – I told him that those were HIS fears, not mine. He’d been in a different business years before that hadn’t gone as well as he’d planned, and I think he was still carrying some of those fears.

He still doesn’t quite get the ‘woo-woo’, but he’s so much more supportive now, and is so much more open to taking risks in life. Sometimes I think we have to show the way, leading by example, while still being open and vulnerable about the journey we’re undertaking. That gives our spouses the chance to see risk-taking modelled for them, live and in person!

Aradia

I feel like I’ve just stumbled upon a lovely powerhouse of like-minded women and I’m so grateful that this question was broached as I have been trying to figure out what to do about it myself!

For me as an artist & an intuitive and healer (with my other work) connecting with the importance to someone who doesn’t believe in it is more than an uphill battle. So far to save face & feelings we just end up not talking about my work at all. Being the forthright type I am this is very difficult for me because whether I am brimming with excitement over the abundance of orders & inspiration coming in or trying to keep calm while I problem solve & troubleshoot it’s difficult for me to keep a lid on it!

In my situation he’s very conservative not only in his beliefs, but in what he chooses to do and all of his endeavors involve working for someone else, regardless of how ambitious he personally is and how well he does his work. For us the disconnect I believe is that that route will never make me happy, while I believe he isn’t really interested in the route I’ve taken.

I think the articulation of the big plan will help and that being open and accepting on my end, authentic & honest all the way is the way for me to be! <3 to all of you for sharing!

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Kristen the 20-Something Breakthrough Coach

This is definitely a tough one. I’m not married, but I certainly understand having family and friends who don’t “get” or support my business. It makes sense that people might worry that your business is taking priority in your life and they’ll be pushed to the periphery. So making sure to openly appreciate the people in your life is a simple (but brilliant) way to get them on board.

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Coach Jey (Here to help aspiring coaches step into the spotlight)

Kristen,

I totally agree it is simple (but brilliant). I believe young women who are awakening to their purpose of becoming a life coach will truly change the world. Not only for the way they will serve, and there is soo much work to be done in the world, but for the way we get to take 100% ownership of our relationships and walk our talk. My passion and purpose is helping young women who are aspiring or coaching newbies witness your own power and step into the spotlight. This was a challenge for me going from starving actress to coaching superstar and after my feature in The New York Times as a young and successful life coach, life got crazy. My husband was there to support me with all of the haters and opportunity (both wild). We got to experience that shift of struggling coach to successful business together. He was supportive but I always sensed his doubt during my long nights working. It was beautiful fuel for tapping into my own knowing and manifesting but often painful. Now much of my time is spent leading and watching the coaches enrolled in my Life Coach training school for young women Mentor Masterclass and today I realized I have always had the time and space but now is the time to act. I haven’t even been sharing my vision with him. The community of women I serve has been growing soo rapidly and there is such love and sisterhood present as I am vulnerable and each women is in total devotion to creating these coaching businesses and encouraging each other with tools and resources along the way. I have forgotten I must create the same sense of community and partnership with my hubby that I have with the coaches I serve. Also, you think all you need is the success and THEN you will have time to spend with your love or putting effort in your relationship. TRUTH: There will always be something new to strive for in your business and that time with your partner may never come. It is hard to tear myself away from my tribe because I absolutely LOVE serving them. But Marie, I hear your message loud and clear and I’m ready to “blow his mind”. Thanks for stirring up the excitement, as usual. I know he will appreciate it and I do too. As much as I love my sisters in my tribe, my husband is my favorite thing in this whole world and he deserves a little loving service too. (wink, wink).

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Mariah Thompson

So inspiring, Jey! Thanks for sharing!

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Emelia

I’m not married so my perspective is limited…However, as usual, I appreciate your “comprehensiveness.” Who else talks about sexual healing in the context of business??? Love. :)

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Mariah Thompson

“Who else talks about sexual healing in the context of business???”

Only Marie. She’s one-of-a-kind!

Always love your comments, Emelia!

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Emelia

Thanks, Mariah. :)

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Marcy

Emelia..totally! I’m so glad that Marie does because as soon as she started talking about blowing his mind, I was like hummmm. I have been OCD-ing about the biz 24/7. While my hubby is supportive of me, I can tell that he thinks I do nothing but work! I’ll be firing up some Marvin Gaye tonight ladies…wink wink :-)

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Emelia

Good for you, Marcy…or great for him! :)

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Gracelove

Marcy…yeah that is a good one.keep going don’t stop.really great for him.

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Kimberly Cain

I do! Sexual energy is Creative energy & it can be used to supercharge everything else in your life.

I spent 10 yrs. researching sexuality & spirituality for my book. More importantly, I surveyed my own husband – asking him if regular sex helped him in his business life. He said, “Absolutely!” He said because he was receiving loving sex, his mind was more free during the day to focus on his business, instead of wondering “when”…

Sex is a natural healer, as it releases endorphins – natural pain & stress relievers. And, of course, Love is the ultimate healer. And Love is also the ultimate foundation for ANYTHING successful – including business.

That said, Marie’s questions about creating great discussions for spouses around our businesses are super smart. I’ve done it – but this is a great reminder that it’s time to do it again.

Thank you, Marie. You’re always “blowin’ minds” in beautiful & fun ways!

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J

I can relate to your husband’s comments about wondering “when” and I like your entire post. How do I send this message so my wife gets it without seeming like a jerk. ” Hey honey watch this video by Marie Forleo about blowing my mind” lmao.

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Kimberly Cain

Hey J,

I think it’s great that you’re even asking how to send it to your wife “without seeming like a jerk”. It shows you really care for her. And that’s the key! I find that, often, women perceive men wanting sex as trying to “get” something from them, instead of wanting to “give” to them. It’s a perception that causes so many women to miss out on the gift of their man. Both partners end up missing out on the power to be found in Divine Union.

You might take notice of whether you’re thinking of all interaction with her as foreplay – because, for a woman, it is. Sex doesn’t start in the bedroom. It’s every interaction leading up to it. You’ll blow HER mind when you regularly show her how much you care for her. Then the door to telling her how she can blow YOUR mind is much more open. :-)

Just showing her Marie’s video could be perceived as telling her what she’s NOT doing for you. Start with all that she IS doing for you & all that she means to you. Make it real, now.

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J

Hi Kim, thanks for your reply. Yes I saw a funny post on facebook the other day that said if you want to get lucky with your wife tonight start by doing the dishes. lol Seriously though I get what you are saying and I think I have a disconnect between wanting/having the Divine Union with my wife and actually knowing how to do the work to make it happen. Missing the spark.

Kimberly Cain

J,

Don’t let that get too far down the road – missing the spark. It’s up to you to find it. Because it’s there. Most people just jump ship, thinking they need to find it in someone else, then the same thing eventually happens. The spark is within YOU. Let that be your focus. You can download a free worksheet from my website – just a bit of fun to stir the pot & get that connection going. You’ll see how to get it right on the homepage.

J

Thanks Kim,

I will have a look at your site.

Emelia

That’s great, Kimberly. I truly believe in the potency of sexual energy…have a whole theory on why it is. NIce to see someone talking about how it integrates into all aspects of life.

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Kimberly Cain

Cool, Emelia. Yeah…when deeply connected, it ignites the potential of Love into the physical realm & that energy has a brilliant ripple effect.

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Allison Braun

Woo hoo! I love seeing this topic come up. Pretty much my fave. I just transformed my business from being a sex & intimacy coach to business strategist. Sex & business are so connected to due sexual energy and creative energy being one and the same.

Rebecca Fraser-Thill at Working Self

My husband is always outwardly supportive of my work, but there have been times when I’ve sensed a good deal of jealousy about time it takes away from us. It’s like another person has entered the picture, for sure. At those moment, I think of the times when HE has been super-busy and how it made me feel – despite my best intentions to remain level-headed and supportive. I then try to consider what I appreciated him doing for me at those times, and then I reciprocate accordingly! (PS – A “pick whatever you want” movie night goes a long way! There’s nothing like watching a “Die Hard” marathon to show your hubby that you really DO care!)

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Lisa Robbin Young

Love this! Me and my hubby watch old “A-Team” reruns on netflix together each week. #qualitytimeftw

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Lisa Robbin Young

This was such a hard journey for my husband and I. We’ve been through several business iterations, and ultimately, the best thing I could do was just share the “highs” with him, and ask for hugs on the lows, without giving details. For the details, I had to go elsewhere.

AND, I had to get more realistic about my expectations on business growth. That’s something that really only comes with experience, and of course, I was still new at building businesses back then. Now,I have much more clarity around the amount of time it takes to see success. Les McKeown, author of the book Predictable Success talks about “early struggle” as the first 3 years (roughly) of a business, and had I known that when I started building my first business, I wouldn’t have been as impatient, or expected so much so fast.

Like anything in a relationship, there’s often multiple variables that play into whatever lack of support or frustration you’re feeling. The best thing you can do is give yourself time (and honesty) to investigate and remedy.

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Aradia

Lisa, I love your input! I know for me I’m super impatient and while my businesses have both been around past that “initial struggle” point they’re still really new as I get the hang of the ropes, balance family life, and everything else. Expecting things to happen faster than they will just is a recipe for disappointment.

I really like the idea of sharing the highs, getting support on the lows, and keeping the details to oneself. I’ve adopted that a bit myself to get through so I could show that my work does matter to someone other than just me, while admitting that I’m still learning & growing. :D

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Emma Gwillim: Life By Design

This one is such a tricky balance. I’m so lucky that I’m encouraged by my husband to go for it – he is the one person that gets my vision and gets me most. He’s my biggest cheerleader. BUT still it’s a tricky path to navigate. Balancing the time spent as a wife, mum and business owner….. Wanting to invest money into my business… Not easy. There isn’t one answer. For me, it’s important to involve my husband to an extent, but to protect my relationship with my business too as its a huge part of who I am. To do that I have to acknowledge that he too will have an opinion and a different perspective – to hear it but still to go stay faithful to my gut instinct.

And remember to give it all heart: love for my biz, love for my family and love for my bigger purpose…. And learn as I go along!

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Shola | The Positivity Solution

Hey Marie! As a married man who struggles mightily with this topic, I was so happy that you tackled this sticky issue. There are definitely times when I have felt unsupported by my spouse, because frankly, I’m not sure if she completely understands my passion behind making the world a more positive place. She is an absolutely fabulous woman, and truthfully, it’s my responsibility (not hers) to help her to fully understand why this is so earth-shatteringly important to me. Like you said, my assignment is to “clearly articulate my big business vision.” For real, I plan to work on this assignment as soon as I’m done typing this comment. Thanks again, Marie!

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Jamie makes 30 Promises to Happy!

Hi Marie… this is really an essential topic. I congratulate you for going there! In fact, I experienced this very scenario and ended up divorced. There were many things going on though including the fact that I always had the feeling that my husband was jealous of my success. He had an excellent job, but I felt that he always wanted to go into business for himself and struggled with the fact that he did did nothing toward that goal. I really tried my best to support his dreams and help him brainstorm ways to go into business for himself or join forces with me! But none of this ever worked.. eventually I was put in a position where I would have to choose between my career and moving with him to another job. There was no compromise. No discussion with me before he took the decision to move. And there came the end of the marriage.

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Ree Klein

Mind blowing as usual, Marie! I agree that all three are super important. I talk to my man about my business a lot. More because I’m so focused on it and want to talk about it, not so much that it’s his passion too, because it’s not!

I have to be careful to shift the conversation to subjects he’s interested in so there’s a balance and it lets me show that he’s important to me, too.

What I haven’t done is your step #3…I will do that because not only is it good advice, but it will help show him that there’s a plan. We have talked about there being a time/money limit, but I’ve not gone as deep as you suggest.

Thanks for the great advice!

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Alison, Career Coach for Young Professionals

I really enjoyed this episode of MarieTV!

The biggest thing that has brought my guy on board with my business is giving him lots of evidence of my success. I make sure to share each milestone I hit with him. This makes him a lot more enthusiastic and supportive about what I’m doing.

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Farideh

Oh great idea! It’s especially great because I think as ladypreneurs it’s easy to forget to celebrate our successes and we just move on to the next thing. By celebrating it with our partners it helps us and the relationship

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Carolyn Almendarez

Alison
I agree. When I share my little successes with my husband he is more supportive of the time and effort I’m putting into my business. I think it also helps for him to see me happy and excited that things are working, especially when a project or goal takes longer than expected.
- Carolyn

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Jo Gifford

Such a brilliant post. As a self employed mum of twins with chronic illnesses, a relationship can so often be under threat as time is of the essence and there are not many hours in the day :) I make it my job to prioritise myself, so if I feel well and good and happy, I can give to my partner and kids, and the whole thing works. If I forget myself and self care and love, it all goes rather askew ;)
Thanks Marie x

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Rebecca Tracey

What a timely topic! I have been talking a LOT lately with my partner about HIS process of being with me while growing my business. I’m actually going to be posting a guest post series form him soon! He has been NOTHING but supportive and I feel so lucky that he believes in me.. AND we have still had our challenges. Great to hear that this kind of insight is needed – spouses out there – your woman IS going to succeed, and the more you support her and believe in her, the faster it will happen!!

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Ritu | the lifester

Rebecca, you’re lucky that he wants to contribute to your blog! I’ve always thought it was great to see Mastin Kipp’s GF Jena getting involved in his business and it’s nice to see it the other way round as well! Good luck! <3

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Ryan - Comeback Academy

Marie,

I dealt with this to some extent with my ex when we were still married. While it was not a major component of our demise it was a source of contention at points.

I agree that you need to take time to make sure that they feel #1 in your life always.

The flip side of that is how important it is to put yourself in each other’s shoes. My ex was always a stay at home mom by both of our choice. But never having run her own business it was difficult for her to understand the pressures of my business.

Over the last 18 months she has been running her own business and dealing with those same pressures. Even though we are now divorced she was kind enough to tell me how she now really got why I sometimes was stressed and detached. And she now got the stress of running your own show.

Thanks for a great episode!

Ryan

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Ritu | the lifester

hahaha I love that Tweetable! Mind blowing is just as important to me too so hopefully that gets taken care of regularly.
So yeah, I’ve had the fear that my partner wouldn’t support my crazy business adventures with The Lifester because it’s just unconventional you know, to want to leave a cushy job in advertising to start a coaching business?? Why do you want to spend all day dealing with other people’s problems? I finally realized though, that the fear was MADE UP and was only in my head. He is actually very supportive of me and the reason why (I know because I asked him) is because he knows it’s hard work and I am constantly stepping outside of my comfort zone. He would love to be able to hang out outside of his comfort zone as much as well and that’s what he admires about my work with The Lifester.

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Bee

Hi Marie – you knocked the ball well + truly out of the park with this week’s episode! Totally LOVED it! This topic is hugely important and for me personally – timely. Great answers and simple, practical steps as always. I’m looking forward to blowing his mind.

Love. Love

Belinda

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Adam - Sexy Confidence

In relationships it takes “two to tango”. Make your spouse your number one priority, very true.

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maria

My fab husband has gone from not quite seeing it to buing me Wired magazine because there was this article that totally validated me. he is that awesome. His belief was strengthened by clients that kept on coming.

PS: THE Zara dress! I saw it and was all like. Lovely! I’ll get it later… guess what, it sold out everywhere and there was no later…

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Janine

One of the best ways I keep my man on board with my biz is by actually including him in my vision.

I get him participating in the decision-making process, ask for his advice & listen to his feedback, and make him feel like he’s a part of my success + growth by thanking him when he’s helped me out. By feeling like he’s really contributing & going along for the ride with me, he’s happy to be supportive. And he never feels like he’s being left out or in the dark.

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Hanna

Good approach!

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Kim

I like this approach Janine, and would agree with this. I’m totally understanding of the idea that we need to pay attention to our spouses and not lose them in the process of building our work. At the same time, I have to say that I didn’t care for the implication that sex is the answer in this particular episode. There is so much focus on materialism, sex and money that I feel we’ve lost sight of what really matters any more. People want to feel included and connected. Men want to feel like they are still a “protector/provider” on many levels, so including him, for me, feels like a much better way to connect. The intimacy comes from true connection. Connection doesn’t come from sex.

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Hanna

Hi Kim, I hear what you’re saying that connection doesn’t come from sex. It doesn’t for most women. But for most men in a loving relationship, it does.

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Gilly

You’re a funny (and wise) woman!

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Nathalie

This is a great video! Thanks!

And, your dress is amazing too.

:-)

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Sonja

Great message. (Love the special prescription from Marvin /;)
I’m married with an extremely supportive husband, who, in addition to a full time job, is trying to build a business too. What I’ve found extremely helpful is to have my plan, share it with him and encourage him to complete the same tasks to move him toward his goal. Because our businesses are similar and target the same group – it’s easy to feel like we’re partners in each others business … which we really are.

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Stella

Too funny…and oh, so true!

The other issues that I have is that my husband is my business partner, too! So it is a double-challenge to verbally tell him how much I appreciate him and not just jump on his case every time things are not done to my specifications. You really do need to treat the other person with the same compassion, understanding, and respect that you would want them to treat you with.

Thanks Marie!

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Jen Bardall

First, Cinnabon cravings are completely acceptable and are in fact a part of my everyday life. Second, how much do I love the advice re: blowing his mind? Very much indeed.

This is such a hot and heavy topic. I’m thrilled to say that my husband has always been 100% supportive, right down to designing & building my website, business cards, showing me how to use InDesign so I could put together my ebook opt-in, etc. He’s terrific. And I’m always 100% upfront with my concerns, frustrations, progress.

However, my husband is also starting his own design/computer repair business and while I’m totally supportive and thrilled that he wants to use his talents like this, it’s difficult sometimes because I feel as though (a) he could be working harder on his own vision and not, for instance, playing computer games to “unwind” for hours at a time and (b) he could be more upfront with me about his plans, actions steps, etc. He has a tendency to become easily distracted and I’m left wondering exactly what’s going on and sometimes even if he plans to keep moving forward at all.

This reached a boiling point recently, when my health took a bad turn. I’m the one who works full-time while trying to build my own business and my confusion over his work + resentment over having to be the sole breadwinner while living with chronic illness came spilling out of me. Now we’re back on an even playing field, full disclosure, and I’ve been encouraged to kick him in the pants when I see that he’s been slacking off a little too much.

Lesson learned. Communication before it’s too late.

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Kylie Bevan

Oh, that pain spot, the guilt of retreating to my home office under disapproving eyes. I’m in the busy stage of launching a new business, my not-so-secret part time lover. And ’tis true that hubbie would rather see more of me. Thanks for the wake up call Marie! As excited about the business as I am, it would be a very poor substitute for him.

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Karla T.

My husband and I used to HAVE IT OUT over my business. The very business he encouraged me to start. I had to explain to him on a few occasions that it takes time to build a business. When that didn’t quell the “discussions” I had to say, “look, we are financially invested/in too deep now. So the options are quit or forge ahead. Ball is in your court”.

Once I put it into those terms he understood why I was working so much.

I also told him what I needed from him in order help me down the road of success. He obliged.

Now here we are, on the cusp of a 5 year business anniversary and the Benjamins are doing the talking for me now. There are no arguments and he is super supportive.

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Robyn

I totally agree with you with this one, Marie. It’s all about a clear line of communication. You also need to be present when spending time with your loved one and block out time for them with the following rules: No business talk, No children/family talk and NO Gossip. This will give you time to really connect.

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Desha Peacock

I struggle with this same issue. I noticed when I started talking about my dreams, my hubby would tense up and react in fear. I pick up on other people’s energy and to be met with these reactions depleted me. So, I stopped talking about it, keeping my stuff to myself which only made it worse cause then I felt alone. To put it in prospective, I’m an entrepreneurial, idealist, optimist and hubby is a realist and doesn’t like change. My mom once said, “I bet it’s hard to live with you and your all of your ideas” and it occurred to me how scary all my plans might be too him- but I can’t let that stop ME.

However, it’s a whole heck of a lot easier if he is on board. So, to that end, I’m going to write down these questions Marie has given me and discuss the big vision with hubby. I’m a little nervous b/c I’m scared he will react in fear, but I guess it’s my job to be the confident one. I can’t make any promises, but I can show him the plan and try to have some safeguards in place to make him feel more comfortable with the transitions. xo

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Nicole Duff - Mood Design Studio

Wow Desha! Are we married to the same man? Yikes, I know the look you are talking about! And I too started to keep thinkgs to myself for fear of criticism, negative feedback and just plain disapproval! We are working on this issue and he is partially supportive but it is the main source of stress for me daily!
I hear your pain, Girl!

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Hanna

Hi Desha, I’m not married, but my mom reacts the way your husband does. She’s pragmatic, fear-based and tries to control me out of her fear that something bad will happen. There was nothing I could say to convince her. Ultimately, I showed her through my actions my commitment to my entrepreneurial training, and researching business and marketing practices. Finally, I outed her fear and said yes, there’s risk and I could fail, but this is what I’m doing. I’ve made it clear that if she wants to be a part of my life, she will have to accept that this is what my life is about. Granted, I don’t have to live with her like you do with your husband :) But it seems if I stay the course and demonstrate through my actions, then that is the best way to counter her fear.

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Amy

OMG Desha, I also think we are married to the same man!! What Marie is suggesting works! When I try not to absorb his ‘energy’ and just think about him feeling left out of my ‘dreams’ and then make moves to be completely present with him and show him he’s my #1, things get blissful. It’s when I forget and slip that the tension rises….

This is such a relevant, RELEVANT conversation and I’m so glad Marie brought it into light so that all of us who are trying to stay balanced in a changing dynamic will feel supported that we are not alone!

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Amy

Oh I noticed with my husband that too much details frazzle him so I keep the head-in-clouds soulful dreaming to me and my biz girls and just keep things simple with him. Like: “Honey I’m working so hard so we can have our dream country home and you can have a little more flexibility with job options” seem to strike a chord :)

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Amanda Austin

Love this vid! I feel like my husband supports me with my business 99% of the time, though he does get frustrated with how long it’s taking me to land clients. I would say that I have far less support from other family members – I frequently get snarky comments like, “Why don’t you find a real job?” Since all I get is negativity from these particular family members, conversations about my business are off limits to them.

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Dawnsense with Dawn Gluskin

Beautiful advice. Having him see the big picture is huge! When he understands how important the business is to you and how that vision coming to life can positively affect the whole family, he is a lot more likely to be on board. Another suggestion is to ask his opinion about certain aspects of the business. This does not mean you have to run the business the way he would, but he will feel good to be included and he just might have some brilliant insights to add! It was not addressed in this video, but some men actually have a difficult time being “more successful” than them & it could play into the picture subconsciously. So, try to help him find his deepest passion & support him 100% on his journey as well.

I love the Marvin Gaye bit & your blowing your mind bit is too funny. So, so true, though. XO

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Lona

This message was dead on accurate!! and hilarious too!! :) I found that I had to clearly articulate my dream and vision multiple times before my husband really got it. However, the key shift was when I truly included him in every aspect of the process. He became my biggest supporter. Equally important, is surprising my husband regularly with mind blowing experiences, Marie hit this head on – go Marie!!

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Mridu Parikh

Hey Marie,
I might be in the minority here, but my husband is incredibly supportive and in fact, HE is the one who pushes me and has made me believe in “my vision”. He’s my biggest cheerleader and puts his walks the walk with him time and energy commitment to helping me grow. I’m a lucky lady!!
Thanks for another great episode.

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webly

I find that men are “Seeing Thomas” they usually want to see the money about the business then they not only get on board but also go crazy doing the business with you.
Even if they don’t do the business with you I know that them believing in you and supporting you makes a very big difference.
If you are not on the same page financially I think it is a deal breaker because if you have the same goals financially then even if your hubby doesn’t believe the business would work at first, he will be supportive knowing that you are doing it for the common goal.

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Pure Ella

Right on Marie! Thanks!!

As a wife of 8 years w/ the man I’ve been with for 16 – and now a mom, and also a business partner with my husband of a 10 year business, I have to agree with Everything you said!
Especially the “make it your job to blow his mind”! I think you may have been too subtle with that message – but really it works! The man has never been happier and then I get the support I want for my business and life goals ;)

One thing I want to add though is how important scheduling things is in the family. Now I don’t mean sitting there with a calendar and penciling in a sit down dinner. But, arrange a little sleepover with the kids so it’s just the two of you once a while. (same with arranging time to be with the kids and alone working on the business).
This morning we have our daughter at my sister’s for a sleepover, and I set breakfast outside on the patio and we sat, ate and talked and had a great start to our day, just the two of us on this lovely Tuesday morning ;)

When a man is happy he will do everything for you! It’s easy once you get rolling and it’s true that sex and food can fix anything! lol True story.
xox

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Carolyn Almendarez

Pure Ella
So true! “When a man is happy he will do everything for you!” My husband has said he just needs sex, food and sleep to be happy. The secrets to having a wonderful relationship are often more basic than we think. I’m lucky to have a fabulous and supportive husband! :)
- Carolyn

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Mariah Thompson

I’m not married, but I can definitely appreciate this video and apply it to my current relationship. Love the Marvin Gaye part! =)

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Udo with GIRL after College

Men are so easy… !

Make them feel like they come to the rescue in your life and regularly give their willy some attention and you have a happy man! HAHA I know my man is 100% on board with anything I want to do after I use these techniques :)

I understand when there are kids and financial issues, the problem can go deeper, but I really feel like Marie hit the nail on the head with this one.

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Ashley

Hi Marie,

Thank you so much for this video. It felt like you were answering my question and couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. I’ll definitely be using these three steps.

Thanks again!

Ashley -xoxo

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Farideh

Yes, blowing his mind. Thats a great thing to mention and something most people would shy away from.

One thing that helps is that while my husband isn’t my business partner I do my best to ask him what he thinks about where I should go and my direction. He is my life partner and he sees my talent in different ways. It’s been very helpful to get his perspective on things and it helps him feel included.

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Nakeia

This advice is SPOT ON Marie!

It seems simple, but actually it isn’t easy.

Sometimes it can be exhausting running a business and then running your household— with the same enthusiasm.

I have been in business with my husband for the past 12 years and started my own separate business in late 2010. I use the exact same strategies that you suggested. My advice to the women that I mentor in this area is the same as well.

My mantra: When he’s (your husband) in doubt, blow his mind!

Love this!

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Krishna

Hey Marie,
I might be in the minority here, but i required incredibly supportive from you doing business in fact, i am in India is it is possible to this business in Bangalore. kindly send me some really doing business helpful to make a money and how to make a money. I totally agree with you with this one, Marie. It’s all about a clear line of communication with my vision.
i waiting for another episode.

Thanks for another great episode.

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Heather Thorkelson

Great video, as always Marie. I’m lucky to have a partner who supports me 150% in my endeavours, and we’ve never even had a discussion about the viability of my business in the almost 2 years since I’ve opened my doors. )(Solid man – a keeper!) But I will say that there was a time earlier on when I was allowing client calls to be scheduled in the evening and it was taking away from the time I got to spend with him. He never complained, even though he’d be relegated to the second floor so I could keep client confidentiality. Though I got sick of it pretty quick, wanting my evenings and my hangout time back. Now I only schedule clients during daytime working hours and we’ve got evenings and weekends free. My business is crazy busy and booked way out, and we get to spend loads of quality time together. The lesson is never bend over backwards to try to accommodate client’s needs at the expense of your own, or your relationship’s well-being.

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Nathalie - Simply Live Better Vitamin Cures

Hi Marie! I love this episode and the mind BLOWing part is hilarious! I’m sure this totally works. And in case someone needs a little zing to get things going – I can recommend maca powder, aka The Natural Viagra of the Incas :-).

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Llyane @ FrenchOnSkype

Yes!

I got divorced because of my ‘big dreams’… because of them, or for them… Who can tell?

I also don’t give myself time for relationships, but things must change!

So, for me, it is more about making space in my busy life for a relationship that will be supportive of my life.

Like Napoleon Hill says, your first mastermind partner should be your family.

Thanks for this, Marie, helpful as hell :)
Llyane

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Jessie

Hi Marie and everyone
I really enjoyed this Q&A, thanks! I have a situation myself at the moment which is very different from the Q, but on the other hand a bit the same, in-that it’s about balancing personal and professional life.
I am single and don’t have my own business, but I have had a very busy and interesting career working for various organisations. I’m 35 years old and about a year ago decided to “slow down” and stay in one country for a while, partly for my own sanity but also to try and find a relationship. I’m now based in Australia, my home country.
For the past year however I have not been 100% happy (in fact the transition to slow down has been very hard), and only recently I am turning that around and feeling good again. My new, office-job has been “boring” and I’ve gained a few pounds. I also had some “resettlement issues” returning to living near close friends and family.

However in the past month I’m finally back to being on track – I’m exercising and bringing positive energy to my work (even though it’s tedious). and my family-issues are resolving for me – I feel I’ve dealt with a lot of baggage I had been carrying.

Despite wanting to slow down for the sake of a relationship I have barely dated in the past year and certainly haven’t met the one. However I now feel ready to start online dating soon and quietly confident there’s someone there for me (kindof thinking of myself as quite a catch these days, especially once I lose this 10 pounds :) )

However now (of course), a new job opportunity has emerged fpr me. It’s exciting, interesting and I’m energised at the thought of it. IT involves a lot of travel – up to 50% of the year, though with some autonomy to manage and direct that. PArt of me is nervous about being challenged again after a year in a relatively easy job. Part of me though REALLY wants to take it, and I have an inner-confidence that I’ll rise to the occasion :) However will travelling 50% of the time sabotage my goal to find a long-term partner, which I am only now finally ready to actively pursue? Part of me thinks it might help as I’ve been quite “flat” lately in my current job – I’ve even been ashamed to tell people what I do even as my job now is so lame and bureaucratic/pointless (in my view). Being back to doing something I feel good about should help with my attractiveness, but I don’t want the job to become a barrier for finding a relationship. On the other hand, it can’t be good karma to arrange your life around a relaitonship that doesn’t even exist, and to forgo exciting opportunities!!

It’s tricky – ADVICE AND WORDS OF WISDOM GREATLY APPRECIATED!!

Thanks in advance
xo Jessie

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Farrah

Jessie, I know I am not Marie but here’s my two cents for what it’s worth. Take the job. I know that this seems counter-intuitive but think about it for a moment. Traveling is what energizes you. It’s what makes you alive. Do you want to find a man who is not ok with that? Or who doesn’t want to live that lifestyle? Staying still for a moment might gain you a partner but what happens when the travel bug bites again? Is that partner, who you met under “artificial” circumstances, going to be ok with what you really want? If you’re not ready to settle down full-time for YOUR sake, don’t do it to find a partner.

Instead, focusing on meeting someone who lives a similar lifestyle. Finding someone while you are doing what you love makes it more likely that you are actually compatible. In this day and age, it will take effort, time and money but long-distance relationships can be sustained – as long as you are committed to making sacrifices. Then, you can figure it out from there.

I don’t know if that helps but good luck!

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Ella

Jessie girl, this is a tough one…

I live a completely different life than you (I’m married and a mom and work from home with my husband) but know friends who are near 30 and want that same kind of ‘freedom’ and are going through and have a difficult time deciding.

Your life shouldn’t all be about the guy you’re with – it should be about YOU! But, could it be that you’re not happy because you’re lonely and have a void in your life that at this time can only be filled with the excitement of a travelling job?

Could you be selfish in doing this? Not allowing yourself time to live a ‘normal’ life? (sorry, not trying to be rude at all, just making a point ;)

One thing is true for all ladies. A biological clock. If you have ever envisioned your life as a mom, your days are numbered. This is sad but true and hard to swallow. I’ve also met a couple of ladies who are now in their late 40s and really regret not having a child.
So it’s something to look deep in you to realize what you want and what you’ve always wanted too. Something like this is hard to think of when you’re not in a relationship even. But at this time, running from a life where there is stability to give you a chance of dating could postpone that a lot for you.
You could also go and take the job and meet someone while you’re there living your dreams! OR who says you need a man to make you happy? I am looking at this from all perspectives here, really I am… ;)

Only you know deep inside what is most important for you right now.
Ideally, you want no regrets! Because regretting something will sabotage anything you’ve worked hard to create.

If your job drains you right now? Could you find a different job locally?
That’s another idea.

Just, ladies don’t wait forever to figure things out because life is not forever. A normal life doesn’t have to be boring either! It’s really about how you create your own happiness no matter where you are….

Good luck! xoxox

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Farrah

Ella is right. You do have a biological clock. And if you are 100% sure that you want to settle down and have a family, then you should get on that.

Having said that, I think we over-value “normal” sometimes. I’ve been married ten years and am a mom of two. I come from a culture and family where NOT getting married and having kids is considered heresy. Now, I don’t regret my decisions but, whenever someone comes to me, I always tell them to really look at why they want to “settle” down.

Do you really want to be tied to someone so closely that even the most mundane of decisions has a second opinion?
Are you ready to give up your freedom and some of your career progression (let’s be realistic) for the sake of having children?
Women, in the majority of cases, actually bear the physical burdens of marriage (caretaking, social planning, etc.) much more heavily than men. Are you ready that?

Sometimes, when I say this to young, unattached people, they roll their eyes and say they will do it “differently”. I have no idea what that means – being married and having kids requires sacrifice no matter how you arrange your life. The particulars of your life may be different but talk to a thousand couples and you will get the same overarching them – it’s daily grinding work that take a toll. You can’t have it all – not even at different times. You have to ask yourself whether that sacrifice is worth it.

I think sometimes we need to say to people – it’s ok to not be married in the traditional (or any) sense, it’s ok not to have kids. It doesn’t mean you’re not normal. It means you have chosen a different path. If that works for you, rock on.

Now, if it doesn’t, finding a relationship can take time and effort. But changing yourself or your desires simply to find a relationship is a recipe for disaster. Find them when you are at your best and make sure they are supportive of that lifestyle. Like Ella said, it does have to be about you!

Just my two cents.

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Jessie

Dear Farrah and Ella
Thank you so much for your thoughtful replies! It’s amazing to me that strangers would take the time to share their perspectives, and a great example of why women rock! :)
I can’t say my dilemma is solved as I DO want to have a normal life with boyfriend, but as Farrah suggested putting other things I enjoy to orchestrate that may not be a recipe for success (if I had already met the guy then I’d be much more ready to prioritise him, but it’s a little strange to prioritise an imaginary friend ;) ). At this stage I have another interview for the job tomorrow, and I think we are going to discuss contracts. I have a thought to negotiate a bit on the amount of travel required and try and get it down to around 30% if at all possible. That would be a good balance I think. Wish me luck.
THANKS AGAIN – and if you have any further thoughts please share away xx

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Akirah

Hey Jessie!

So I wanted to throw out this offer…as I am trying to begin a career in coaching and writing about relationships. I’d love to chat with you about this…absolutely free of charge…just to get my feet wet in listening and sharing about relationships. If you’d at all be interested in chatting with me, I’d love to hear from you. My contact info in on my website.

P.S. I’m so happy you’re negotiating the travel down a bit. Good for you!

Gladys Diaz, Relationship Coach

Jessie: I can understand both your excitement and your concern. I met my husband 2 weeks before I began a job that consisted of 50-75% travel. And I did that for the first 3 years of our relationship! Because I made myself and him a priority when I was home (usually for about 2.5 days), we made it work. A year after meeting we were married, and 2 years later I got a promotion that allowed me to reduce my travel when I got pregnant. Eventually, I didn’t have to travel at all! So, choosing to follow your heart and your dreams is key. The man who is right for you will love to see you happy and, as long as you let him know and show him that he’s a priority, he will big your biggest supporter!

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Nathalie Lussier

This is why I’ve always appreciated your advice Marie!

You give it to us straight, and you make sure we understand what our homework is!

I can definitely testify to how my relationship used to be before I made my husband my #1 priority, and it did feel like my business was standing between us. Now my business is something that can support us, and we are stronger for it.

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Kristy Alagna

My deep gratitude to you Marie for bringing these essential-truths into the Light – and to everyone who has commented – Thank You All for sharing your experiences. Last Saturday I was missing our “US”, and remembering all of the simple-joys that sometimes take a back seat to the big-make-our-world-a-better-place-focus. The quickest route to transformation is always thru the Heart – Home is where the Heart is, and the Love begins at home. I found Sheryl Crow’s new song on Youtube: “Easy”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elicLmORPoQ

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Caroline Frenette Intuitive Leadership Coach

I don’t agree to make the #1 priority about our husband or partner. My #1 priority -and it’s the most important priority in my life- is me.

Moi.

This means that when I’m selfish enough to make myself AND my well-being a priority my cup overflows with love & energy to give to my man (and to my clients, my family, my friends).

Me first, my man second which means I always (or I strive to always) give the best of myself.

I totally agree however the willingness to look in the mirror and to be open to see what energy/vibe/mood we’re giving/reflecting in the world is HUGE. This energy is be reflected back to us and if lack of support is being reflected there is definitely something there to explore.

Personally, I’m sooooooo grateful to have been blessed with an extremely supportive & loving man who totally gets what I do (and who I am). His support is priceless and absolutely does make my life a dream come true.

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Caroline Frenette Intuitive Leadership Coach

Blooooooooooooooow his mind!

LOVE IT!!!!

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Rachel Whalley

Thank you, Caroline. Agreed.

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Vanessa Uybarreta

Love these answers Marie!

I am thankful that I have a supportive husband. However these answers can apply even if he is supportive to AMP things up, especially when things are slower in business, or if you aren’t feeling as connected. It’s so important to keep the flame going in all areas of a relationship, communication and in the bedroom! Sex really does cure a lot, let’s be honest, sometimes we both just need that “letting go” time with each other.

Last, the communication thing is so important! Having a vision and sharing it with your spouse. Also having daily talk time, where you can talk about your day or whatever without TV, phone, or other distractions, even if it’s just a few minutes. It’s so easy to get distracted by technology and not even really listen to what the other is saying, and that totally creates a pattern of not listening to each other. Stare into your honey’s eyes, and listen to what he’s saying, and notice how damn hot he is ;)

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Ariana Blossom

What a fun episode!! I was laughing out loud through the Marvin Gay clip.

My boyfriend is supportive of my business and my vision; however, he definitely has discomfort around the fact that I make a lot more money in my business than he does in his. Sometimes when I want to talk about signing up a new client that I’m excited about, he walks away. I don’t personalize it because I know it’s his stuff. I would, however, like to know how other successful women have dealt with this same issue in a relationship-nurturing way.

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Regina Richards

1) Is he my number one priority?
Absolutely! For three decades he’s been the peanut butter to my jelly.

2) Do I blow his mind regularly?
Absolutely! And it’s my pleasure.

3) Get and stay on the same page.
Oops. Here’s the one I need to address. I know he’ll join me on whatever page I’m on, but I need to figure out what page that is.

My DH is extremely supportive. I’m a Gothic Romance writer with one novel out (Blood Marriage). It’s earning decently, though I’m certainly not getting rich. DH earns good money and we aren’t hurting, but we believe in avoiding debt so we’ve been living lean and cash flowing our first two kids through college. We’ve been able to swing two, but a third starts college this fall and that may bust the budget. One option that we’ve discussed is for me to get a day job, but DH (and I) would prefer I just keep writing even if that means we have to borrow money to finance the third child through college. He believes in me.

Time for me to honor his confidence by clarifying to myself first and then to him where I’m at and where I’m going.

You’ve given me some tools to make that task easier. Thanks Marie!

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Regina Richards

Ha-Ha. I’m a naïve idiot. When you advised blowing his mind, I thought you meant sharing pleasure via the intimate arts. Not until I read the other comments did I realize that you were specifying a particular method. As long as this is a pleasure for both people and done out of real love, okay. But simply performing an act to gain a specific goal isn’t how I am with my guy.

I’m still working on those fabulous questions to help me get the “on the same page” thing squared away. Thanks again for the help, Marie!

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Kushla Chadwick

Hey Marie,

Great topic because I do know plenty of entrepreneurs whose relationships struggle over their businesses. Infact, I had someone point out to me recently, that every ‘big-name’ successful female entrepreneur she knows who had been married, is now divorced.

My husband and I have been married 15 years and we have 3 children.

My hubby is supportive mostly, but I always make a very deliberate effort to put my family first. We talk some things through but, I don’t hash out everything in my business with him, because we’re both happy in our own ‘work’ bubbles.
For example he’s an aviation engineer and honestly, while I’m interested in HIM – a conversation about his work just bores me sometimes and vice-versa for him.

We meet up, on the things we have a shared vision in and neither of us feel the need for validation or even clarification, in areas where we are just different.

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Miss Bella Expressions

I love love love this topic! I don’t know how many times my husband gave me a hard time about “playing” on the comuter all the time. It wasn’t until I showed him the income I was making through my party design shop and then he stopped giving me such a hard time about being on the computer every evening. My shop has been so important to me in the last few years as it has now become a second income for myself especially since we moved back to Canada from Italy. My husband has been unable to work while getting his immigration and it has helped us put some money away for us to buy a home and make an emergency fund. I do have to remind myself that yes, I need to spend more time with him as well as my business after the kids are in bed and it is a hard balance to do. I’m trying to find a way to focus and get orders completed as smoothly and quickly as possible as I can so we can spend some time together. Thank you so much for bringing up this topic. I’m sure there are so many people out there thinking of this very topic and wondering if it is just them struggling with it. Thanks so much for helping us find a way to solve the problem AND point out we are not alone!

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Sarah

Blow jobs as business advice. Wow.

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Erin Giles

LOVE this video Marie and so needed because so many entrepreneurs don’t have that support. Thankfully months after our daughter was born and I knew I needed to get out of my passion-less day job my husband supported me 100%!

There have been times I’ve overworked and gotten too chatty about biz…you know like 24/7, and thankfully he called me out on it and now I have a healthy balance.

Thanks for this vid!!

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@sarahspy

MARIE, as much as I always love your answers, I always love your DRESS CHOICES!! Where do you shop?? I’m always looking for hip, work-friendly dresses with sleeves — and they’re harder to find than they should be!

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Elsa Isaac

Hey Sarah!
We get Marie’s dresses from a lot of different places (Bloomies, Zara, H&M, Asos.com, etc.). This one is from Zara. And yes, cute long-sleeve dresses are hard to find!

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Liat

Great episode and oh, how I can relate. Until about two weeks ago, I *thought* my husband didn’t really believe in my writing and my hope to make it as an author. After an event where I sold far fewer books than I had hoped, I actually tried to hide the remaining books from him! I thought he would roll his eyes or mutter to himself that I should give up on this dream. How strange that I assume the person who loves me most is my biggest critic. I finally brought it up… I needed a shoulder to lean on and I got tired of pretending otherwise. I gave a big sigh and told him how disappointed I was that I haven’t been selling more. To my surprise, he started advocating my writing. He assured me it was only because I hadn’t been dedicating as much time to marketing and blogging that sales have been low. What a relief that was to hear. I’m not saying it will be like this for everyone- some partners *are* critical- but it was so incredible to realize that in this respect, the critic was all in my head. To realize that *I* was the only one I need to convince that my career as an author is worth investing in… that was a happy moment.

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Monica

As someone who started her business, and separated from my husband in the same year, this video resonates with me. I never felt supported or encouraged. It took a toll. My art business had been a lifelong dream and he knew it. He wanted to know “how much it was going to cost him” and “what each item cost to make” and since he was footing my creative bill, he had a right to know. BUT…with our marriage already hanging by a thread, it was the just too much to handle. I worked tirelessly to get my Etsy shop up and running, and all he could see was hours away from him. Or the kids. He saw it as a betrayal, instead of a dream being fulfilled. Unfortunately, my marriage ended, but my business lives on… And the best part? My kids see me living my dream every day!

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Paige

Timely and reaffirming! Made me laugh but it’s ever so true! My husband and I build business together. Lately, I’ve been crazy creating some new stuff and yesterday I found myself being a stress ball. He’s super supportive and I had to get a grip on myself. I asked myself, is this worth me not taking care for & honoring him? So I dropped everything. We took off together to get into a different space, watched the moon rise and later he thanked me for blowing his mind! I want to honor my vows to him before the business and I believe by doing so the business will grow even more. Thanks Marie for bringing levity to serious situations. :) And thanks for the disco light show and little seranade.

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Angie

Very timely, Marie. Thanks.

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Sheryl Kurland

If your marriage is crumbling because “you are striving to build your own business,” it is only a symptom of much bigger problems in the relationship.

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Cathy

Good one, Marie…and thanks to Vanessa for asking the Q!

My husband goes through phases of traveling a lot for his work, and of being entirely ensconced in the shows he works on, so I’ve spent many years learning to be a “festival widow”. Now that I’m trying to get my own stuff up and running online, the shoe is firmly on the other foot. And yes, there are days when I feel as guilty as if I were having an affair.

He comments lately about me spending so much time in front of the computer, worrying that I’m getting lost down a hundred rabbit holes. It didn’t take too long for me to hear that he’s now the “widower”, and suffering because of it.

Thank you for the reminder about clarity and transparency – this is one I’ve severely neglected. And note to self: when he asks for something as mundane as my walking to the bank with him, don’t “blow” him off!

xo
Cathy

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Vanessa

holy crap, you are one funny chick.

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Hana

I found out that it is very useful and eye-opening to speak to men in terms of financial plans. Not just financial “dreams” but real plans including how to realize them with the business.

As to the “other” meaning of a job of blowing his mind… I have a friend who seemed to be put off by the idea of “exchanging” (sorry for such bold expression) her hubby’s support for something that she sees as highly irrelevant (oh yes, she feels it that way), even though she constantly wanted something from him.

So I tried to explain it to her from another perspective (without any connotations whatsoever, it applies to anything) – If he wants something from her, she will be much more willing to offer it if he does what she wants. Why would it not work the other way? :)

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Wendie Tobin

Well, I value a lot of your content Marie, but I have to respectfully pass on this one. The feminist that lives within cannot accept this. Thankfully, I married someone who offers me unconditional support in all my conquests and doesn’t leverage his support in trade for sex and hero worship.

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Carolyn Flynn

Wendie
I don’t think Marie is suggesting we prostitute ourselves to our husbands. If you don’t want to have sex, go for a hike, make dinner together, do some activity where you can exchange bonding, communication and love. Sex is one way to build a relationship, but not the only way to create a connection. My latest post list 50 romantic things you can do this summer http://CarolynFlynn.org
**Carolyn

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Wendie Tobin

I’m sure Marie would never suggest that a woman have sex against her will, but what did you think she was referring to when she said “mind-blowing” five times? I feel fairly confident that she wasn’t referring to hiking, cooking, or playing backgammon. The way I interpreted her advice was this: Lay your partner often to keep him happy and he’ll be more likely to support what you’re up to.

Personally, that doesn’t fly with me. I connect with my spouse on our own terms, not with an agenda.

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Akasha

Yeah, I’m disappointed with this one. It goes along with the other video a few weeks ago where she said not to “Outman Your Man.” Really? Can’t we all just be adults and working on treating each other well, respecting each other’s strengths and supporting each other and, wait for it, asking our partner for what we need. That’s what communication is all about. This is very retro and this type of outdated attitude is why women are losing rights all over the place. We’re traveling back in time to World War II, when the women in the U.S. went out to work for the first time and, when the men came back, they couldn’t handle it. So women had to start playing all these stupid games, act like less than they were and stroke their men’s egos. Unfortunately, I’ve seen very few men doing the same for their wives and, yes, there are men who work so much that they neglect their wives, don’t have sex with their wives and whose attitudes cultivate resentment in their wives. I don’t see anyone suggesting that men should perform more oral sex, although they really should. It’s a two-way street. This is all very one-sided … on the man’s side.

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Ella

Let’s all be adults here and realize this type of attention is beneficial for both parties!
This is what love is – it’s being comfortable in all areas and unleashing human nature in a beautiful mutual relationship!

Hello ladies, Marie isn’t suggesting trading sex for support.
Let’s tap into our personal needs here and realize we all want the same thing ;) No?

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Wendie Tobin

Are we watching the same video? That’s EXACTLY what she’s saying. Furthermore, I don’t think we should ever presume to know what other people want.

“Have you ever felt unsupported by your spouse? What steps did you take to get him or her onboard with your big vision?”

Like I said, I’ve had a lot of respect for Marie Forleo, but I find this advice irresponsible and I’m troubled by the quantity of women who applaud its merit.

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Rachel Whalley

Akasha and Wendie, I hear you.

I felt very divided by this video. As a therapist, I see some of the wisdom of what she’s saying AND I do rankle at the sexism of it.

Sexism isn’t Marie’s fault, of course! She’s simply responding with advice that maps to the system we live in, where right now, I can’t IMAGINE a men’s advice column where male entrepreneurs would write about feeling guilty for spending time on their businesses.

I think the advice to keep the sex life fresh is valid, because women can let that slide sooner than men do, and men associate sex with feeling valued so strongly. I do get that.

But at the same time, I feel…very challenged by the advice that a man is supposed to come first. What about my dreams? What about MY calling?
Why isn’t it even more appropriate to sit down and have a few talks about what makes me come alive?
Doesn’t a great spouse want to encourage that in me, just as I would in him?

Marie, I think your advice was partially useful, but you’re missing the other side to balance it out. What the wife craves and wants is JUST as important as what her husband wants.

I hope you follow up on this video and continue the discussion. It’s an important one.

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Akasha

There are definitely two sides to every issue and often more. At the same time, I think it’s dangerous to write off the sexism inherent in what Marie says here to the sexism in the culture in general. If she didn’t both subscribe to and support the sexism in the first place, then she wouldn’t have responded to this woman’s issues the way that she did.

In addition, even the terminology itself is based on gender stereotypes and societal rules that put women in a lower position than men. “Keep Your Man Happy.” You know what? I don’t like it if my boyfriend calls me “his woman” as if I were a piece of property defined solely by my gender and calling your husband, boyfriend, lover, partner, significant other “your man” or “your woman” does just that: it objectifies the person.

If we really want mutual respect, mutually loving and caring relationships and equality where we honor and support the strengths of our partners, then we must stop following and promoting degrading gender stereotypes.

I recommend that everyone here read the book The End of Men: And the Rise of Women by Hanna Rosin. Although I may not agree with everything that she says in her book, the information definitely sheds light on what’s happening with gender issues as women progress more in their own businesses and also try to stay in stereotypical caretaking roles without receiving equal loving support from their partners.

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Akirah

I agree with you guys to a point…I really did not appreciate the “don’t outman your man” advice…and was kinda vocal about that (sorry, Marie), but I think what she is doing here is trying to empower Vanessa to do what SHE can to help the situation…rather than imploring her husband to make changes. Vanessa can only control her actions, she cannot control her husband’s actions. What I appreciated about this video was Marie’s disclaimer in the beginning…I think it is a step in the right direction. I certainly hope Marie would’ve given similar, if not the same, advice if Vanessa was a man. If not, I’d be curious to hear the differences.

Jill

This was too funny. I have an aversion to blowing minds, I’d much rather…well never mind :)
My business doesn’t make much money right now so I’m not coming from the place of the successful wise one, but rather from the fledgling business owner trying to grow my biz and make it a full-time gig that pays enough to be my only gig. I feel like when you make a comfortable income off your biz your spouse is going to support, it is when you aren’t making a lot of money that they are hyper-critical. But one thing I’ve learned while juggling a start-up small biz, a toddler, and a husband is to keep “the business” of my biz separate from my family. My husband comes home from work and we don’t talk about his work all that night and into the weekend, he leaves it at work. So I do the same. Sure, we talk about it when I need to work through something or want his opinions, or I’ll tell him I need to go upstairs or go to a coffee shop to get some work done, but otherwise I don’t try and keep him in the loop about everything I’m doing. I use to talk about it constantly and I could tell it drove him crazy. Now I talk about it with biz friends when I need to talk about it and they understand where I’m coming from much more than my husband ever will.

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Carolyn Almendarez

I have found that when my husband starts complaining that I’m on the computer too much that’s his way of telling me he’s not getting enough attention. People will rarely tell you exactly what they’re wanting, but if you pay attention to their requests and complaints they will indirectly tell you what they are needing from you.

And yes ladies sex goes a long way in keeping your man happy, and content with everything else that you are doing.

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Melissa

Love it! My boyfriend is typically very supportive but it seems like everytime we get into an argument that’s when he uses my hopeful career against me and I’m sure it’s because i’m not blowing his mind! :)

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Lee Romano Sequeira

Hi Marie!
Today’s message was fantastically fun — loved your “naughty but nice” play on words. As the great Sir Paul sings, ♪♫•*¨”And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” ♪♫•*¨ so very true in business, as well as pleasure :)

Stay sparkly,
*´¨)
¸.· ´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·’*~ Lee*

p.s. do you still offer private phone coaching? would love to have a “quickie” with you (pun pun) for my mine & my hubby’s business (which to us, is like a Ménage à trois) – we are so all over the place these days being pulled in so many directions & glued to our laptops ’till 1 am some days)

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Lee Romano Sequeira

ooh noooo – where’s Marie? she usually comments —
Marie – hope you can pop by!

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Puja the Inner Scientist

Marie! You are hilarious :D I LOVED this video. Thank you for covering this important issue… your recommendation to share both short and long term goals with the partner really resonated with me. It’s important for them to know where this train is going before they get onboard! Thanks again and keep ‘em coming mama!

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Nikki

It’s natural to want your husband’s full support when you take your business full-time, but sometimes that very thing that we feel so passionately about simply isn’t going to get them hot under the collar. Why? Because it’s OUR dream, not theirs. In my opinion, the best way to get your other half on board is to have everything ironed out in advance–all the nitty gritty details. KNOW how it’ll work. SHOW him that you’re serious. When your business really takes off, he’ll be able to set any reservations aside and support you 100 percent.

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Nikki

Side note: This very thing happened to me, and now my partner is my biggest supporter.

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Julie Daquelente

Awesome video Marie! And my husband will love the fact that someone has told me I need to “blow his mind” more often! I know for me, I am still figuring out the big picture stuff so it’s hard for me to articulate it to him. It’s also something I hold very personal (for some reason) and I have a hard time sharing with others… I’m not sure if it’s because I’m afraid of judgement (meaning that someone will say not nice things and try to poke holes in it) or because I’m not completely clear on everything yet…. BUT, I’m working on it! :)

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Melissa Curran

When I started my business, I was hurt to find out my husband went behind my back and told his friend that I wasn’t making any money and probably never would. No amount of sex can change a disrespectful opinion. Period.

We were really not on the same team after that; it hurt so deeply that finally, I left. We remain on very good terms – as a matter of fact the friendship is much better than the marriage ever was.

Sparky – you missed the boat on this one. While step number 1 and 3 is spot on, step # 2 is not the way to get to step #3. Seriously. Sex may fix the short term mind blowing need, but in the long run trading sex for respect never works.

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Elsa

I agree, Melissa. While sex is essential for a healthy marriage, it doesn’t mean (for every relationship) that it will result in the husband being supportive of the woman’s business and/or dreams.

I don’t like to withhold sex but I do find it ironic that my husband will be lovely and ready to do almost anything for me when he wants sex but once I’ve ‘blown his mind’ he’s back in his own zone and back to being unsupportive of my dreams….so for that reason, I have to agree with you, Melissa that ‘trading sex for respect never works.’

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Kimra

My husband is 100% supportive of my business. I must be doing something right ;) haha

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Michelle Sears

I love, love, love this episode. This spoke right to my situation.

I work full-time, have two young kids, a husband, fitness expectations, and a side biz and I wonder where all my time goes. I’ve definitely been neglecting my husband’s needs. He’s a stay-at-home dad and I’ve been busy doing, doing, doing, that I forgot to just be.

Now I can see why our marriage has taken a nose dive. And it’s unfortunate really. We had such a great relationship before I got too busy to appreciate it.

So God’s been speaking to me lately and He wants me to BE more and DO less. Money has been my pursuit for so long that I forgot how to just relax and enjoy what I already have.

Good health, two happy, healthy kids, a supportive husband, a good job, etc., lots to be thankful for. So my plan is to step it down a little. Not give up. Not by any means. But take a step back and enjoy where I’m at right now and stop trying so hard to be somewhere else.

Marie thanks so much for this video, it has helped me realize the lack of gratitude I express in my life. As well as all the wonderful and insightful comments, they have been very inspiring too.

I’m going to take care of my family starting now and I’m going to work my side biz less. Remember though, I’m not giving up, not by a long shot, I’m just re-prioritizing my valuable time.

My kids are only young for a very short time.

Cheers!
Michelle

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Juniper

I would add my input because I feel like I’m on the other side of this one. My husband is self-employed, and although I am very supportive, I can sometimes get annoyed at the time it takes away from our family and marriage. It is really difficult to be at home with two young children while he is out of town or working late hours and weekends. So I’d like to offer these suggestions:
-Schedule time for FUN together (not easy when you feel responsible for your own business and there’s always more you could do)
-Ask your partner about his/her day and what’s going on with them. (My hubby is so into his work, it’s on his mind 24/7. He’s learning to cut himself off if he starts to go into detail after detail… and ask about me.
-Be present when you’re home. At least try. I know it’s hard not to think about work and talk about it because it’s your passion. It’s okay to expect your partner to be interested, but maybe not as obsessed as you are. If you’re with your partner and always have your mind on something else, it CAN feel like an extra-marital relationship.
-As Marie said, appreciation goes a long way. It might feel unfair to be handing out gold stars when you’re not getting any, but everyone wants to feel seen and valued. Noticing and appreciating your partner feels good to both of you, sets a loving tone, and encourages more support.
Good Luck!

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Tanja

This is awesome! :)

I’m lucky to have my business together with my husband. But still it’s important to not be all about business all the time. :) It’s great to do some mind blowing, hahaha.

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Adam Bordes

Great post Marie (from a guy’s perspective!)

What I found was that, while my wife understood what it meant to BE online, she hadn’t quite bought into the idea of me building a business online.

After a long on-boarding process (i.e. 5+ years), what helped A LOT was giving her an important role in the business with actual responsibilities (Executive Producer of my videos, Chief Operating Officer of the company, etc.) What this does is make her feel like a valued member of the team, instead of having to just stand by and watch from the sidelines. As a result, my wife is actively participating in the business, asking questions about it, etc.

Hope this helps!

And btw, once spouses start seeing the money coming in – as my Italian family members like to say: fuhgeddabowdit!

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Louvelle

Thank you thank you thank you Marie, so much for posting this video. It has been the BIGGEST challenge for me since I started b-school and in moving forward. Right from the beginning, my husband was not supportive of my decision to enroll in b-school but at the last minute he gave me the go-ahead with the stipulation that he wanted to see a return on it (ie. that it would actually go somewhere). However, in the process, he continually balked at the amount of time I was spending on the computer and the time it was taking away from him, our family and our time together. I still have plans and dreams to move forward with my business ideas, but they have been at a standstill as we headed into a lot of difficulties in our marriage. We are currently working them out and I feel it could be a good time to continue with pursuing my business idea, BUT I feel very wary and discouraged considering the experience with my husband while in b-school. I will take these steps you have suggested to heart and find a way to instill them into our relationship, in hopes that everything (both my marriage and business plans) will move forward.

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Akirah

Marie….THANK YOU for the disclaimer in the beginning about who this advice is tailored for. I found that very helpful and respectful.

My husband is extremely supportive of my writing career…he often believes in me more than I believe in myself. I think I am very supportive of his restaurant as well. One thing I appreciated about this video that I think him and I will incorporate in our marriage is regularly checking in with each other about our visions. Regular check-ins are important. but I know we don’t do that enough.

He REALLY appreciated your advice about blowing his mind, btw. He’s probably your biggest fan right now.

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Anon

Hi Marie,

I did ALL of what you said, I put my partner first, I praised him, I made him feel important, I helped out with HIS business, however I STILL did not get support from him, in fact he didn’t want to know about how my business was doing. So this advise doesn’t always work. We split when our daughter was 6 months old and I lost lots; business, relationship and was left in debt for 4 years.

I think it IS very important to clarify if your business IS the problem in the first place!!!

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Louvelle

@Regina Richards: Your comment on needing to find out what your page is in order for your husband to get on the same one–AHA moment for me! I’ve just realized that part of the problem is that I am truly unclear of what page I am on or which one I want to be on. Where my husband needs to see everything clearly and in black and white. Will look at Marie’s suggestions for questions to address and see where this takes us….

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Mandy

Hi Louvelle – I am also in B-School and with a name like Louvelle you were pretty easy to find – I would love to connect with you – your story resonated with me… if you see this check your “other folder on FB” :)

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Allyson

This is a great post. I’m an aspiring writer and storyteller, and my partner is supportive. But I think he’d prefer that this was more of a hobby. He’s often asking me, “so where is this all going?” I fear that if I do garner more success it might lessen his support.

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The Get in Shape Girl

Oh my Marie. My bf and I run a business together and we are going to start launching his online business soon, which will be really fun because it will give me a tiny break from talking about calories and curls 24-7. But in all reality, there should probably be more mind blowing going on than what already is. hahaha

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Ada Hung

My husband is supportive to my business, BaliniSports as long as I spend a lot of time watching TV with him, DONT drag him to Yoga. However, when things aren’t going smooth between us, he would called my business a money sucking hobby business in a joking way. This is my 2nd year with BaliniSports and we are making huge progress but the foundation of the business takes time to established. Sometimes the guilt of not having the extra money to contribute to our family, or the guilt of not watching TV with him do make me feel less successful.

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Mandy

WOW!! What an episode…
And so many great replies… It’s so nice to know I truly am not alone… Thank you!

My issue with the “blowing his mind” part is not feeling wanted and supported so we have a catch 22… I don’t want to put out when I don’t feel loved, he doesn’t feel loved when I don’t want sex… and round and round we go…

Another valuable resource I recommend is the book “The Five Love Languages” Briefly – we all view love in different ways – Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Gifts, Words of Affirmation. And most of us have one (maybe two) dominant love languages.

The rest of this comment is just my story… would love to connect with others via FB or blogs if you feel a connection… I found a few others I will be reaching out to from the comments.

I have been struggling with this for about 3 years – I am slowly making enough to support myself. I quit my really good paying job to be with my boyfriend (not husband) 3 years ago and since then found a passion which DOES produce income (just enough to support myself) My BF is well off and there is another dynamic of adding in that he supports me financially (yet, I don’t feel supported in other ways)

This is a timely video and for the past year I have really been questioning on this relationship in general – is he the man for me??? I think not having the “vows” or the commitment to be together “forever” makes me wonder what he is thinking… wonder if it would have been different if we were married…

I told him about this video… even asked if he wanted to see it – he said no. Yesterday he sent me a “not funny to me” cartoon of what happens when you work for home :(

Anyway… we are in the process of spending some time apart – maybe three month separation so I can try to get back to me. It’s not just my business… there is some other issues in the relationship that need to be worked on. Big time.

Thanks for your words…

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Silvana

Hi Marie, Please tell me where do you get your dresses from?? They are so so beautiful. x

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Elsa Isaac

Hi Silvana,

I get Marie’s dresses/outfits from various stores. This one is from Zara :)

Elsa

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Steve |MyWifeQuitHerJob

First time commenter here. My wife and I actually work together on our businesses and quite frankly, it’s the only thing we fight about these days.

But even though we have our differences, I think that working together has definitely been a positive aspect for our entrepreneurial endeavors. After all, there’s no one that I trust more.

So if you don’t want to wreck your home, get your husband to work with you:)

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Jana

This has got to be some of your best advice yet!!!

I LOVED IT!

this is totally unconventional, but seriously great advice.

I’ve inadvertently been using doing these things with my current business and my husband has never EVER been more supportive of my ventures than he is now.

He even encourages me when I’m doubting everything he picks me up and offers some surprisingly insightful advice.

1. Don’t leave him in the dark
2. Men are extremely easy to make happy (wink wink!)
3. Talk about the trials and tribulations and ask his advice and really listen!

Ps I have a hubby and 3 kids so I can totally relate :)

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Ixeeya

OOOO eee this is a good one.
I have not been in a relationship with a person in so very long.
Feels like I am in my primary relationship with my work.
My work feels like my lover, husband, children and full time job all in one.
I am in awe of all of you who actually have all those things and make your businesses happen. Now that I am trying to date more after my big break up 3 years ago – I just seems so difficult to make time for dating and another person ! Finding the time but also the mind set to be emotionally available and in that ” its all about you , cleary mind” mind set. I cant stop thinking about my work or doing the practices, writing and down time I need to feed it ? HMMMM .
I will be taking this video advise to start carving out time for a man, a date and preparing my life as if there is already a lover her to tend to . And stop giving all that time end energy to my work.
Thank you Marie for another potent episode – I was in a panic when my new google account organized your Qand A tues email –
and I could not find it ! I so look forward to your emails -
Thank you
Ixeeya

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AJ

Got to wonder how many couples will be getting “lucky” tonight after one of the parties watched this episode? ;-) Great show!

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Rose Rising

This post couldn’t have come at a better time. I just recently launched my Life Coaching and Art business. Because I’m so passionate about it, I can see how other areas of my life might start to suffer. The awareness of this in itself is a total blessing because it means I can do something about it before it gets out of hand. After coming out of a meditation last night, I wrote something down that came to me…”nourish your marriage every single day”. Relationships are the foundation of our lives, not our careers, you must keep them strong!

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Victoria Cunningham-Downey

I was really excited when I read that you were going to give advice on this topic because I often feel as if I’m having an affair with my business. BUT I can’t believe how bad this advice was!

My husband doesn’t want a blow job and I think it is belittling to assume that all I have to do is give oral sex to get out of months of bad behaviour where I’ve been ignoring him, staying up late to listen to teleconferences and wasting OUR money on courses that only benefit me and my biz but sideline him once again.

Sorry but this was one MarieTV that didn’t hit the spot for me (even with Marvin Gaye crooning in the background).

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Wendie Tobin

One hundred times, YES.

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Sally

Hey Victoria

I have never heard anyone describe time, money and energy spent on their business as:
“bad behaviour where I’ve been ignoring him, staying up late to listen to teleconferences and wasting OUR money on courses that only benefit me and my biz but sideline him once again.”

If that is truly the way you feel, perhaps you need to take a little of Marie’s advice for yourself, and let your husband pamper you, from time to time.

God knew what He was doing when he made man the head of the house. The average man is very easy to please, with good food and a regular physical relationship with his woman. On the other hand, we ladies do best while exquisitely balancing between using our creative mind, as well as our physical expertise.

We must connect to our own creations (or business) but not to the extent of losing touch with our family and friends. Such people work all day and ‘neglect’ their families and demonstrate “bad behaviour where I’ve been ignoring him, staying up late to listen to teleconferences and wasting OUR money on courses that only benefit me and my biz but sideline him once again.”

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Akasha

Agreed.

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Olya

Brilliant video and advices! Thank you very much, Marie.
I must admit I was on both sides. Didn’t feel supported and wasn’t supporting my partner. The result… Our relationship has ended. Since then we actually became friends and support each other more than before.
There are great advices in this video. Great lesson and something to implement in the future. Tip #2 is awesome! Loved the way you delivered this advice, Marie! Thanks again.

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Angela

Absolutely. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a fantastic resource for learning how your significant other needs to be recognized, acknowledged and appreciated. It also brings to light how you yourself need to be appreciated. It’s a life changer :))

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Mandi

I was surprised at reading the comments and the words “hero worship” used. There’s nothing anti-feminist about showing a little gratitude :)

I want sex more than he does, so there’s no problem there.

My husband is not supportive of my business right now. Once I show him the money, it will pass. sad but true

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Wendie Tobin

It was an expression; it wasn’t literal.

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Wendie Tobin

To expand on that thought, Marie said, “Tell your spouse that he’s your hero.” Well, in relation to garnering support for my business, I don’t believe I should do that. Do I believe spouses should make each other feel appreciated? Absolutely? I don’t believe they should do it with an agenda such as Marie is suggesting; that doesn’t feel authentic to ME.

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Catherine

Thank you once again Marie, for an insightful Q & A episode! I am over 50 and am working full time while starting my business. This has been in the works for over a year and I just recently made my first sale! This almost didn’t happen. I have been married to my husband for three years and I love him dearly. He has been watching me work at this, studying, planning, experimenting, and preparing for the last year, but I don’t think he was taking any of it seriously until I got my DBA. I had written a couple of blogs and set up my web site but he wouldn’t even read my blog. Of course my feelings were hurt, but I kept moving forward. Well, we had a big blow up one evening about my starting a business. I was so angry! I couldn’t believe that he watched me prepare, to go through all the hard work and planning, even asking for his input at times, was going to deny me the final steps to carry this out. It was an experience like the steps of grief. I went from anger to disbelief to sadness to acceptance. I was going to throw it all away because bottom line, my marriage was more important. Sharing my feelings with him calmly the next day, we finally got to the bottom of the problem: #1. Fear of change. #2. Fear of liability. #3. Fear of success.
He then read my blogs, really looked at my product postings and descriptions and we had a long heart-to-heart talk. I wasn’t going forward without his support. My plan is a slow build, my one of a kind products will ensure this. So I still have time to take care of my home life responsibilities. I got an LLC to protect assets. And as far as fear of success, that can’t be a bad thing! We will be celebrating our third anniversary tomorrow and this experience has brought us even closer!

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Delilah Mckinney

Agreed! Blow his mind or someone else will!

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Lisa

This is issue #1 to me these days.
My business is in its fourth year, and my fabulously supportive husband and I decided that this December is the test point: if it’s making money and moving ahead, and I’m able to pay myself something, then fine. If not, then time for a J-O-B.
Yikes, that has really helped me stay focused. But that means I’m focused on succeeding at this business!
With 2 girls, me super-fulltime, and his full-time paycheck-and-benefits job, we are pretty stretched. Now my part-time staff work in the home office as well, and we’re about to go live on Amazon, and the kitchen is filled with cases and cases of sweet potato salsas, and the back bedroom is the office, and now a corner of the living room is the fulfillment center for shipments to everywhere… I would be totally enjoying every moment of the happy full/rich life, except that as supportive as he is, I think he’s ready for December’s success to show up today.

Honestly, he’s so supportive, yet I can feel him wearing down. For real, by the time the kids are in bed, we’re both ready to collapse.

Marvin Gaye sounds great… *but* I gotta say, I’m not sure if it’s the biz or the kids that just sucks the life right outta ya by the time the sun goes down… just keepin’ it real over here.

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JCov

I loved this! I love my man so much and he’s SO supportive of me but I always worry that he’s getting the backseat to my business. The tips you lay out are amazing and will definitely help. I know I need to be clear on all of those questions you ask at the end; those were so helpful and I love that blowing your man’s mind is business advice. A girl just can’t lose!! Thanks Marie! xoxo

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Jennifer

Hi Marie!

Thank you for the post. It shows me I need to be braver and put myself out there more. I have the opposite problem of our friend Vanessa. I think my partner is too great a priority and I don’t set aside consist time to work on my business. He is super supportive and encourages me, but I find it hard to balance my full time job, the little time we have together, and my business. Would love some q and q on this :)

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Mindie Kniss

LOL Marie!! So true! =)

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Sean Stephenson
Travis - Minneapolis Video Producer

“I’ve been craving Cinnaban” hahaha. Greatest line of the video :)

On a more serious note, I think you hit a lot of points on the head. The other thing I would add would be to remember to fuel your passion and moments of inspiration with the things you enjoyed at the start if your relationship. It’s too easy to get busy and stop having fun, which kills the vibe!

Don’t just blow his mind consistently, but find ways to have fun together! Then the blowing of his mind will be that much more enjoyable.

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Stef Gonzaga

Marie, your videos just keep getting better and more fantastic each week! Thanks for tackling this important issue.

I’m sad to say that while my husband supports me with the small little projects I do on the side, he and I never really concretize the business ideas we’d plan and talk about. He’s very much invested in his brick-and-mortar business (hardware industry) that the idea of starting a “digital partnership” (he’s a web developer, I’m a copywriter) isn’t as appealing to him as it is to me. Where I’m from, a traditional business is the only way to establish a stable stream of income.

The discouragements don’t stop there. Even my grandmother (alpha female in the family, but very traditional) and father would tell me that I need to have this and not rely on my work as a freelancer. It’s frustrating because I love what I do, even though it doesn’t always offer the kind of stability they have in mind.

Anyway, I’ve pitched so many possible ideas to my hubby that may be in line with his or my interests, but he just doesn’t share the same enthusiasm. I’ve learned to let go though (along with those ideas) and have begun work that would be the foundation of my own business. Do you think this is the right move to make? I’ve been confused and lost about this for a long while now.

Again, thank you so much Marie!

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Sean Stephenson

Hey Marie, it’s your buddy Sean. Mindie made me watch this. I couldn’t agree more! Here’s to mind blowing. :)

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Fonda

Thank goodness for Mindie, huh Sean?! lol. Great to hear you on The Love Extravaganza.

I thought this was awesome, tongue in cheek as it were.

Ciao, Fonda

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bikegal50

I was caught a little (?!?) off guard with Marie’s response, but in actuality it was just what the doctor ordered…I am pretty serious much of the time and determined and rather controlling about my life. I am a full time nurse (yikes- for almost 40 years!!) and have a hard time understanding why my Frankie doesn’t always have the oomph to always be there for me while I am working on finding a career centered around wellness, rather than sickness. I am always worried about being understood, but now I see how mindblowing it is to blow his mind instead. What a concept…

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Amandine Ali Khan

Yes dear Marie, private and professionnal life are mixed !
About my husband, it’s funny because i exactly did that yesterday : i felt like a distance between us, and decide to share more from my business plans, to open myself : i asked him his feedback about my new slogan, if he had ideas for my new website colors… Even if i didn’t like his suggestions ( :-) ), he felt like part of my big plan, concerned, and i could feel more proximity between us :-)
And how knows, he can wake up one morning with a killer idea for my business !!!

With much Love,
Amandine from Paris :-)

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Kerry

Hi! First of all, let me start by saying that I am not a business owner. I am the wife of a business. And it’s owner. I’m a nurse by trade and a wife and mother. The reason I watch the fabulous Marie Forlio is because I like to educate myself about the thing that is my family’s lively hood. I keep up to date and up to speed to stay aware and mindful of the reasons we live this crazy lifestyle: my husband jet setting around the world for weeks at a time, us emptying personal accounts in the lean times to pay employees, or his long hard hours on the golf course with a cigar in one hand a scotch in the other while he’s “networking.”

The truth is that I can’t be on board with the “Big Business Vision” unless it’s a FAMILY mission. So, even though I’m am extremely behind the scenes, I am his most trusted and utilized advisor. That means his problems are my problems. Granted, I can’t fix or help with most of them, but I can give him a level of support and understanding that he can’t get at the office where everybody else works for him. I can’t help or begin to understand if I don’t engage and make his successes and failures as my own. That’s what being a partner is. It’s lonely at the top and it’s downright terrifying at the bottom.

If you are the paramour of a business owner the best thing you can do is stay up to speed and ride the tide with them. Otherwise, you run the risk of your significant other not only drifting away from you, but from everybody else they’ve ever known.

Another recommendation I would make to other business couple is to break down and go to therapy together. Everybody communicates differently. It’s important to speak the same language so that the message is clearly understood. And we can’t get behind the Vision if we don’t understand. The truth is that “business talk” and the emotional, intimate convos between couple is very different. It’s my experience that business folks have a hard time shedding that mind set when they’re talking with people they’re close to. I often find myself saying to my husband, “Dude, don’t talk to me like that. I don’t work for you.” Having a mediator/therapist in merely an interpreter for two people speaking two different languages.

Lastly, I LOVE the “blow his mind” advice. I think this is important in all relationships and from both sides of the relationship. You always wanna be the one person who can give them that lil su’im special. Love you, Marie and love this Q&A! Keep up the good work.

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Carolyn

Kerry – GREAT advice! It’s a wonderful reminder to hear from the “other” side and see how our business ventures impact our partners (even when they’re WAY behind the scenes). And you’re so right about being the most trusted advisor. Way to go about keeping up to date with things. He’s lucky to have someone who’s so supportive. And I agree with the therapy recommendation…communication is key.

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Dodie Jacobi

One of my clients calls his wife The Real CEO of his company! My advice is to treat close friends and family, whose concerns are full of luuuuuuv, as if they’re you’re top investors, for they are! Laying out the plan (yes Marie!) and periodic “investor meetings” however casual or deliberate keep your caretakers in an informed position. The flip side of this saga is the spouse or friend always contributing ideas and enthusiasm but for something you don’t wish to pursue! Keeping all in the right loop assures all cheers will be well-directed. Keeping the spouse on top? That’s just smart prioritization. Marvin Gaye helps.

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Krystle Marks

I almost peed my pants!!! So funny…and very true. This topic was handled very well! THANK YOU for addressing it honestly. Men need to feel respected and I loved the 3 points.

Personally me and my husband had to deal with some changes in expectations once I practically stumbled upon a business I loved and was excited about, after I was a stay at home mom. We both thought once we had kids, I would take care if the house and children. Once I started my personal styling business I wanted to work more, share the household responsibilities…etc. It was an upset for a while, especially because I didn’t clearly communicate where I wanted to go. Once we talked through it and I worked to keep my hubby in top priority, it got so much better. He is so supportive and helpful. I am grateful everyday for my husband and the opportunity to do what I love while raising a family.
Thank you again for posting luv bug!!!! XOXO

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Tatiana Escalada

Great video like always, clarity and communication are assets often taken for granted. Yes, writing it all out is a key for clarity and tangibility!

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Jen Smith

Girl, I just love you. And I love the Marvin Gay song impersonation. You are brilliant and hilarious! So glad I found you through B-School and will follow you forever :)

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Fonda Clayton Smith

It is necessary for overall happiness in life and business to blow your partner’s mind in AND out of the bedroom. This is what she was saying, and Marie hooked the audience with the sexual innuendo which I adore.

Sex and sexual energy is very cleansing and harmonizing for your relationship and your body. This confidence translates to your business, bottom line or top line. You get the visual.

When we bond a lot and often with our partners they ‘hear’ us better and vice versa. My husband and I are both entrepreneurs so this is def a beneficial two way street. When you treat it like a ‘job’ perk of blowing his mind, he will be oh so inclined to return the favor. Follow me? YES!

The times I feel out of alignment with myself, this gets displayed in my relationship (read: he is mirroring my shaky thoughts), this is my queue to get back to my happy place within. I don’t bother taking it personally, I take it as an opportunity to do some inner work. Once, I get that handled, the picture with him changes.

Loving me some MarieTV…

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Julieta

Marie,

What a great episode! Let me tell you I laugh a lot with your “blow his mind” advice.

This morning, when I watched this video I laugh, yes, but I also got a little upset. I had a flash back and remembered every occasion when I felt unsupported, all the “tones”, looks and questions I’ve received. I guess many of you can relate to this. So, why do I have to give something to a man that hasn’t believed in me?

If you are in a good marriage (mean: non a toxic one), you can remember all the times your hubby has been supportive. In my case, he supports me every day with our daughter, he plays with her, he takes care of her, he is amazing. Because I know how supportive he can be, I can understand that he’s behavior towards my business is only an objection, and every objection is both, a fear and an opportunity. It’s a fear because a lack of information, knowledge or understanding.

Making you hubby your #1 priority will erase his fear of being left behind and will make him (in the majority of cases) open up about what he doesn’t understand about your business. This will give you the opportunity to explain yourself better, to SALE him the whole picture. An objection well handle can turn every customer (in this case your husband) in your #1 fan.

Overcome your fear and pain, deal with this situation, forgive and move on. If you follow Marie’s advice, you will see a major transformation. I know, I’ve been there and done that. It works.

Julieta

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Alexis Meads

Hi Marie,

Such an important (and yes, touchy) topic. Thank you!

This has been a struggle with my relationship. I find myself thinking about my business pretty much all the time and it can get in the way of my relationship. Luckily my fiancé is extremely supportive, but we’ve gotten into arguments over this before.

We instilled a weekly date night rule. Once a week we have a date to ourselves with NO business talk or cell phones allowed. Just us. It’s really improved our relationship!

xoxo
Alexis

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Ashley

I SO appreciated this one, Marie! You always seem to send the videos I need to hear most on Q&A Tuesday. I think another interesting topic would be tips for couples who have started a business together and are overwhelmed by it. My husband and I have to work really hard at not letting our relationship go under with the new business we launched just five months ago. It’s been really difficult at times. Thanks for your honesty!

Ashley =)

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Megan Pangan

This was very true for us in the beginning and when I started to find a business model for myself. My partner didn’t understand what I was trying to do. I felt like I couldn’t talk about my business because he didn’t understand the first time around. To heal this rift between us, I changed my expectations and my attitude about his disposition. If he didn’t understand, I would have to learn how to speak his language. This not only made communication possible again, but taught me how to deliver what I was learning in a different way, which meant I really understood it as well. Now I feel completely safe to voice my business opinions and defend my position well. When I gave myself permission to learn new ways of business and granted myself the authority to wield that information, I felt that was a major turning point. I didn’t have to wait for validation from my partner, I stepped up to being and feeling equal in our relationship and he respected that.

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Cheng Peria

Hi Marie! I’m Cheng Peria, and I’m line producing Vanesa Chamberlin’s webshow Life Fire TV!
Here is the link of our latest webisode:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5Rznad_A04

Thank you for all your help! =)

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Adana Wtn.

Loved the video. It’s recently been brought to my attention that my work is starting to affect my relationship. My boyfriend and I are both web developers, so we’re both usually staring at our computers whenever we’re awake. I actually started building sites because I was inspired by him. But the problems seemed to arise when I started getting my own web dev clients, instead of just helping him with his. First he would constantly suggest that he could take the client, and I could continue pursuing graphic design. Then, when I stopped doing graphic design and actually started building sites, he would repeatedly tell me that I could ask him for help. But now, he’s not bringing in clients, while I am getting bigger and better jobs with every new client. Suddenly, he’s spending his days watching tv and playing video games, and sending me links and videos. And the few times he’s actually tried to do things with me, I would forget all about it because I was working.

I know I’m partly at fault because I am a workaholic, and have no problem spending ungodly amounts of time at my desk. But when we first met, he was the one that was all about work (he made it clear that his career is his first priority). I was the one that felt like I was bothering him when I wanted us to spend time together. Now it seems that since my career has become a bigger priority for me, it’s a problem. However, I’m only doing all of this work so that I can help us create our life together, and he doesn’t seem to understand that. Now, when the going gets tough and we need to find new clients, he can’t be bothered, and I get stressed out and cranky because I’m pulling all of the weight. Not to mention that we go sexless for weeks, and sex is a very important thing for me.

I don’t really know how to handle it, or talk about it without playing the blame game. I’ve tried to initiate some “quality time”, but he just finds a way to turn me down. And after so many rejections, I simply give up and go back to work. I feel like he’s jealous of the fact that I’m now bringing in more money than he is, when I’ve just started doing the very thing that he’s been doing for years.

I know I should probably just talk to him about it, but I’m really not good at talking about my feelings without coming off as being a bitch. (Which is hilarious, because I am a bitch, and I know that.) And I’m pretty sure that he’d be furious if he found out about this comment (he’s one of those “What happens between us should stay between us” kind of people). I just don’t want to lose someone that I love over the thing that I’m doing for that very person.

Any advice would be grand… Cheers!

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Rachel Whalley

Adana, the best advice I can give at a distance for how to learn to have these kinds of conversations is to pick up a copy of either “The Dance of Anger” by Harriet Lerner or “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg.

Both do excellent jobs of teaching exactly how to have conversations of love and truth without playing the blame game.

I also teach women how to handle conversations that will involve conflict, so feel free to contact me if you could use some personalized support.

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kimber wolfe

It means SOOO MUCH to me that you mention that not everyone has the same kinds of relationships. Many of my customers are polyamorous and/or queer (or glbt) and choose me BECAUSE I keep their life style(s) in mind when designing products. I also have monogamous straight clients, and they also love that I put the perspective I do into design.

You are amazing, this video is amazing, and that ONE SMALL PHRASE made me fall in LOVE with you all over again.

xoxo kimber

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Fairy Princess Genevieve

Hahaa… this was hilarious!!! I’m pretty sure just focusing on #2 will naturally lead to steps #1 and #3 being taken… along with the partner being on board for just about anything! Loved this episode.

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Sarah

Marie, I’m usually totally on board with your stuff, but two of your three tips here just don’t fly for me. Yes, I see that you’re trying to present this in a cute and quirky way, but the real message you’re giving here is rather archaic. We’re supposed to patronize our men, tell them they’re they’re our heroes (your word, not mine), and then follow up with sexual favours? Ouch.

Saying that there are “certain things you can do as a woman to ‘blow’ his mind” and telling your partner he’s your “hero” sets a very different tone than telling women that appreciation and sexual intimacy are important, which they absolutely are. A tweak to your messaging here would keep women in the 21st century, on an even keel with our men rather than on our knees.

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Akasha

Hi Sarah,

Well put! And I would ad that MUTUAL appreciation and MUTUAL attention to sexual intimacy are important. Another question I had here was what the division of the household and child-rearing chores were. There are questions that need to be asked, such as “What does the division of the household chores and child-rearing activities look like?” Is her husband doing his fair share of all of these or do they need to have a conversation about that and then make some changes to free up more of her time? In most cases, even today, the women still end up doing more of those mundane activities than the men, even when both are working full time or both are running businesses.

I would also rearrange the advice to say:

1. Take care of yourself and be compassionate with yourself first. The more compassionate you are with yourself, the more you are with the others around you.
2. Communicate clearly on all fronts with your spouse. Set aside a daily half hour to talk about what’s going on in your daily life, how things are being handled by both, where both need more support. Also set aside a weekly time at least for talking about the business and what’s going on with that. Book the time not at the end of the day when everyone is tired and cranky, but at lunchtime or right after dinner so that both can be present and ready to share.
3. Make the romantic relationship a priority for BOTH partners. And block time together at least two or three times a week so that you can spend quality time together, whatever that looks like for you and your partner.

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Rachel Whalley

Yep. I’m in agreement with both of you. Rearranging the advice would have gone a long way to further empowering women, which I know is Marie’s goal anyway!

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Rachel Whalley

And then there’s this. Very much this. Which makes me cry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=G_Vz_Cbsu3o

I guess the consideration is thus: either you have the kind of partner who cares enough about your dreams to want to listen and shift into supporting you…or you don’t.
And in my opinion, no amount of “mind blowing” can make it otherwise.

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Alyxandria - Straight Up Talk

Hi Sarah, Akasha and Rachel,

Yes, yes and yes. I agree. Either you have a partner who wants to support you or you don’t and, as Rachel says, no amount of “mind blowing” can change that. Certainly, self-care, clear communication and making the relationship a priority for both people are integral to having a happy, healthy romantic relationship, but if there isn’t fundamental love, respect and compassion between the two to begin with, well, sex and treating your partner like a hero will never solve the core problem.

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j

I wonder how many of you aren’t in a place in a relationship that you actually feel comfortable with mind blowing as a conceivable option. (Like me) That is a good thing though. That means that your work has to start at the relationship level and either fix it or get out. We are all sexual beings and need love and affection and the sexual energy. Marie knows what she is talking about and is very brave to put her self out there like this but I think since the audience is so diverse that this subject resonates with everyone as it relates to their own life and relationship status. If this subject resonates with you in a negative way you might want to ask yourself why that is and get to the root of your problem and get to work on that. Just sayin…..with all love and affection to all.

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Luz Blanca

Sexuality is definitely a part of being human and having a good intimate relationship with your partner is very important. Using blow jobs and sex as currency in a romantic relationship to garner support for your business is not respectful of either party. It smacks of manipulation and disrespect.

The root of my problem is sexist advice given by someone Oprah considers one of the enlightened ones of the new generation.

Unsubscribed. And done.

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j

I have watched the video twice just to double check and not once does Marie use the term blow job or blowing your man. I am on a mission to strengthen my relationship so I can get my mind blown and I am not there yet, but I am smart enough to recognize the problem in myself. I am also smart enough to recognize that I would rather surround myself with a thousand Marie’s that raise people up even if sometimes the topic is controversial.
@Luz Blanca- don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Thanks Marie for being you and shedding some light on the importance of a good relationship while striving to be successful.

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Luz Blanca

What do you think she meant when she said to “blow his mind” five times and then played part of “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye? You might want to watch the video one more time to make sure that you really understand what she’s suggesting, which isn’t raising women up, but putting them on their knees.

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j

Ask Marie what she meant. Mind blowing sex is what I get out of it. If you interpret mind blowing sex as a blow job then that is your interpretation and not what she said. If you don’t like being on your knees when you give a blow job maybe you should be more creative and raise yourself up. 69 is a mutually satisfying position where neither partner should be on their knees. Equals. ; ) Peace and welcome back to the conversation. Much love

Luz Blanca

@j Same, same. She’s suggesting using sex in exchange for getting your partner to support your business ideas and plans. In healthy relationships, sex isn’t a currency. It’s a natural and integral part of the regular relationship activity. But this advice definitely smacks of women manipulating men via sex and men being reduced to just their their egos and their penises.

j

I get what you are saying. I take the good out of the message and give Marie the benefit of the doubt. We don’t have to agree with each other or Marie but Marie is beacon of light and an awesome inspiring person. She does one controversial subject that took alot of courage to bring up knowing that it might stir up a “shit storm” and you are ready to jump ship because you disagree. Shame on you. I am gonna take my penis and my ego and wait for the next Marie TV video. You Rock Marie!!!

Nicole

It’s amazing how common the female/risk taker and male/risk averse dynamic is. I’m glad I’m not alone! I am a real go-getter with a creative vibe and my husband is into practical hands-on skills, which to him doesn’t include any of the tasks that running a company entails. Now, if I were to run a construction company, he might actually approve. Sometimes I worry about his future and that he isn’t driven enough because it’s hard for me to understand actually wanting to work for someone else on a regular basis.
His primary concerns are when I’m going to start making money in my business (I’m still in pre-launch phase, but only until September) and how much attention I’m paying to him. Like Marie said, men want to know that they’re your number one priority. There’s no way he understands anything about perfume, which is the core of my business, so for me it’s just easier to talk to my mastermind group and my business partner when I need to talk shop. I do have a rule that after 7:30 p.m. is family time, and I know he appreciates when I make time for him that doesn’t include me staring at my computer screen.

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hillary rubin

Great video! My hubby got on board when I put him first and stopped competing or blaming him for things. Appreciation is key and seeing what they are doing to support us is key. Love the mindblowing part Marie, well done! xo Hillary

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Nesha of Betty Red Design

‘Seeing what they are doing to support us is key’ – I love that. It’s a line I’ll personally always try to remember.

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Linda Ursin

I get no support from my husband, not in business or anything else. All I get about business is: When is it going to start to pay? You can’t use more than $400 a year when it isn’t paying. Why do you listen to experts, you should figure it out yourself. Sex won’t help, since he’s the one who stopped that 5 years ago.

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Jessica Oman

My guy definitely supports my business and goes out of his way to support me however he can. However, I think he gets frustrated with the slow growth of the company. He thinks the financial rewards should be higher by now, with all the sacrifices we’ve both made. I am impatient too but I don’t feel guilty – I have hit some important milestones. However, I don’t think I’m setting the bar high enough and it has made me a bit complacent. This video was a great motivator. Thanks, Marie!

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G-Man

Hi Marie
I just I’d drop by to offer a male perspective amongst all of the valid comments above from the lovely ladies.
Support from a partner is essential when you a building your business, & the advice offered by you is excellent in many ways.
My last relationship actually failed because of the lack of support & belief in what I was trying to achieve, mainly because I was almost made to feel like I was conducting a “love affair” online with social media – go figure!
My partner never understood the necessity for interaction & involvement in social media to promote my business & connect with other professionals across the globe, despite many attempts to break it down, & my affirmation of my ongoing commitment to our relationship.
Sadly, because of this, the relationship had to be dissolved when an ultimatum was delivered – her or the business. All quite needlessly painful.
Fortunately, I was later able to meet someone else who understood my goals & was able to support me 100% in many of the ways that you outline.
Bravo for bringing this subject up – such an important facet to help us succeed with our life & business.

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Elora

Thanks for that, Marie! I’m not in a relationship myself, but I often wonder “what if” when I think about the future, and if I have these problems then. So thanks1

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Julie Varughese

Well, I don’t have a man, so I don’t have any other *jobs* to do, but to build my business. ;) Thanks, Marie!

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Nesha of Betty Red Design

My partner was the most supportive man ever when I first told him I wanted to quit my day job and start my own business. I didn’t know what business to start, so he spent so much time helping me decide and listening to me rant on and on about today’s ‘new idea’. I’d even call him from the toilets at my workplace to tell him about some exciting venture I’d dreamed up that morning, and he’d listen to me while he worked and offer his input and advice. It was the best support I’ve ever received.

However, when I eventually quit my job, started my design studio aimed at women entrepreneurs and worked from home, I noticed a change over time. He was still supportive, but occasionally told me in his own way that he felt I was putting my business before him. ]

I sometimes grew frustrated about it, because he would expect me to stop working halfway through the day or take the day off to be with him, and he figured I could do that all the time because I worked from home! He never understood that I had deadlines to work towards or paperwork to file…

Looking back, the support he showed me was immense and I’m so grateful. So I now realize that if he wants me to finish early to be with him, or even take an entire day off, I should do everything I can to do so.

After all, if it hadn’t been for his initial support, I probably wouldn’t have started my business anyway.

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Lacy

While my husband is very supportive of me, this video was such a good reminder to be proactive and give some mind blowing attention to my man. Marie, you videos are always the push I need in the right direction! Thanks!

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Michael Rich

Awesome! I really appreciate your continual focus on communication, transparency, and connection within any given relationship.

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Kelly Pietrangeli

Thanks for the big “Heads” up warning about putting my headphones on for this one! (My teenage boy may have blushed, plus I’d rather not tell him how mom keeps dad on her sweet side….)

Great advice Marie. My hubby’s been exceptionally supportive throughout B School and starting my new business. But I know he wouldn’t have been nearly as supporter if I hadn’t been (ahem) giving him a Hand with it. (Tip 2 rocks in our house.)

At the end of the day, my husband and kids mean more to me than anything else in the word and I need to demonstrate that with daily acts and words of love. When their love tanks are full, I can do my work guilt free and have their full support.

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Ginger

You are assuming he wants a bj and that she has not attempted this route. What to do when he rejects your sexual advances?

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Joyce

Marie, what do you mean by ..”blow his mind”? Are you meaning to provide him with a blow job, on a regular basis?

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David

Does every sentence in this article have to be a paragraph in and of itself?

There’s a lot more to saving a marriage than just “blowing” your husband’s mind. If you’ve even reached that point, you’re in a irrevocable downward spiral. This happens when you have stopped genuinely loving the guy to any real degree and simply want to placate him because you love the business more than you love him. Your love for him has faded almost completely if you’re at this stage. Its a recipe for divorce, especially if there are no kids to hold the marriage together.

How many women in this situation are having, or have had, affairs, and are only “blowing” their husband’s mind to appease and deceive him until the divorce invariably comes sooner or later? Who else’s mind are they “blowing”? If there were any real statistics on copreneurs who eventually divorce I’d bet they’d be sky-high. The longer it goes, the greater the chance of divorce. Just look at the statistics behind the explosion in “gray divorces”.

All it would take is for one old flame to enter the situation and the farce would soon be over. If you want to jump on me for giving my honest opinion, go ahead. But, at least from this man’s perception, its simple common sense.

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Gracelove

This is so true,my husband is the type that doesn’t like taking risks and any business that involves risk scares him.It took me some time to get his full support and we are good now.As for blowing his mind,he gets that regularly.

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George Miller

My wife has accused me of a lot of things in our years of marriage some of those accusation were true and i admitted to doing them but am to much in love with her to give her an s.t.d. She was down to end our marriage cos she believed i gave an s.t.d. She had a good reason to believe that cos of late i haven’t been the best husband. Thank God that s@@t was clarified in the Trisha show that i was not responsible for the s.t.d. She was in love with me as i was in love with her. Yes i will admit to the fact that i f$$ked up so many times but we always got around our problem i don’t mean avoid it i mean we fixed our problem like real adults but my stepson always thought i was not good enough for his mother. We never really got along. I never hated him, but he just didn’t like me and i wasn’t gonna suck up to him.He just wanted me out of their life and our problem just made it possible for him to see that happen cos he also accused me of giving my wife, his mother s.t.d. I agreed to do the Trisha show thinking maybe it will help fix our marriage but it made it even worse. After the show she was more down to leave me. She asked that i move out of the house filed for a divorce and all. I thought she will come to her sense and see that though she had s.t.d i still wanted to be with her. I thought if i should give her time the anger and bitterness will die but it didn’t even after a whole month after everything.She had the divorce papers delivered to me. I could not let her go just like that.I got desperate and i started panicking so i used a spell to get her back i know most people don’t believe and you may call me crazy but it worked for me. I found a comment on the Internet about this spell caster Metodo Ell. The comment said he doesn’t do spell for those who are not meant to be together. I mean i believe with all my heart that she is the one thing i needed in my life and i also know she needs me too so i thought he could help me get her back.He agreed to help me cos he also said we are soul mate.All i needed for the spell were materials to get the spell done. I could not get them so i paid him to get them for me since he is the expert in this stuff.After three days, he sent me a substance with instructions on how to make the spell effective and i did as he directed but honestly it took seven days to work i guess good things don’t work like zap. As far as i can tell that s$$t worked cos all my marriage problem just fell off my shoulder AFTER THE SPELL WAS CAST.My wife didn’t go through with the divorce and stepson is cool with me now. If you want to get him to cast a spell for you contact him here with this email address metodoacamufortress@yahoo. com he could also do a direct spell maybe it meant cost a little more than mine i don’t know him only can tell you that.

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kattie

Before i when to my summer holiday i was having a miss understanding with my husband,a day after my marriage my husband was having an affair with another woman i known all their moves i just feit that it as just a joke i never knew that my husband was having an affair,one day i called husband on a phone another woman pick the call and she was insulting me on the phone that i should leave her husband for her that i am disturbing their relationship,this is the same man that i got married to i am so confuse i do not known what to do i need some one to device me on how i can get my husband back because i do not want to lose my husband for any reason he is the right man for me and that’s why i get married to he..I told a very good friend of mine about what i am passing through she promise to help to and that was how i meant great zalilu a spell caster that help me win back my husband i never believe in love spell but great zalilu prove it to me and that was how i won back my husband and now i am leaving well with my family,save that your relationship today by emailing this great man at greatzalilu@gmail.com

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marie

my name is Marie from Canada, i want to testify to the general public how
my relationship was restored back by the great power’s of dr zumber after
three months of loneliness, my ex-lover called me after my contact with dr
zumber that he want us to come back and start a good home, now we are
happily married with two kids. All thanks to dr zumber for his spiritual
help. You can contact him on his email if you have similar problem, or any
solution you may need, job, divorce, promotion in you place of work,
healing,money spell, etc.you can Contact him via
email:drzumberspelltemple@gmail.com.

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Anonymous

i was in a very big crash with my boyfriend and i needed reconciliation but he was not responding and he is said he is never coming back, I tried to get a real spell caster to cast a Love Spell for me. no one really gave me the result i wanted, so a friend recommended me to call this Mr Robinson by his number + 1 9 7 1 5 1 2 6 7 4 5 when i contacted him i thought he was like others but after some trial, his spell worked out just the way i wished, after the spell my lover returned to me and apologized and now he has been so faithful to me, robinsonbuckler is the best

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Anonymous

I broke up with my girlfriend last 2 months due to many misunderstandings i was fighting so hard to get her back. none of her friends would give me any information about her. The only thing I could do was to go find help from anywhere, so i looked for a way to get her back then a friend recommended me to contact robinsonbuckler@yahoo. com that he will help me and as my friend said, Mr robinson helped me to bring back my girlfriend just in 3 days, I now have her back and this is the biggest joy of my life

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