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How To Overcome Fear Of Public Speaking w/ Josh Pais

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Before we get going into today’s episode, I want to thank you so very much for all of the love and prayers you sent our way after last week’s accident.

I’m happy to report we’re all doing so much better, and we’re taking very active (and gentle :)) steps to heal.

There’s no doubt in my mind that YOUR positive energy and intentions have, and continue to, help my family tremendously.

Speaking of family, you’ll get to see and hear directly from my man Josh — today.

Josh is an incredible actor, director and teacher. While you can look him up on IMDB to see everything he’s been in, you’ll be able to catch him this summer in the brand new Showtime series, Ray Donovan alongside Liev Schreiber and Jon Voight.

So how does this relate to you?

Well, if you ever struggle with a fear of public speaking, or putting yourself on video, or getting on a big stage, or “putting yourself out there” . . .

This MarieTV episode is a MUST WATCH.

Josh has been one of my “secret weapons” and I’m sooo darn excited you get to experience some of his genius today.

You’ll learn a completely new way to think about — and more importantly — manage fear that’s holding you back. And this entertaining method involves both Einstein and vibrators. Go figure.

You’re a vibrator. @JoshPais via @MarieForleo

If you loved this episode and want a deeper dive, Josh has created an incredible multimedia Committed Impulse learning program that we’re a proud affiliate of.

As you know, I don’t endorse many things — but since I’ve personally benefited from this work for over a decade, have hired Josh (yes, hired) him to teach alongside me during seminars and retreats, and seen the results he gets people first hand — his work gets my full endorsement.

At the very least — grab the free 27 minute audio download on being present from Committed Impulse.com.

Truly life changing.

Now, in the comments below — Josh and I would love to hear from YOU.

First, tell us an emotion or sensation you’d like to overcome.

Then, describe that emotion or sensation in terms of vibrating atoms. Are those atoms bouncing, stretching, pulsing, spinning, heavy, light or something else?

Finally, nickname your vibes and commit to party with them! Of course, if there’s anything else you’d like to share in the comments — go for it.

Thanks, as always, for tuning in and being a part of this incredible community.

With so much love,

xox

Marie Forleo

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Read the comments or Add yours

Tahira Iqbal

This is a great vid! I am good at speaking in public… but it’s the lead up to it that gets me all stressed out! As my writing gets more well known, I hope to speak more publicly about it… without getting worked up as I want to deliver the best version of myself right from the word go!

Love your site, and gain inspiration every day from it :) x

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Lindsey

Love it, guys! The visualization piece and how we relate to these feelings and fears is so HUGE in terms of how we manage and work with them. Thank you. :)

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Rachel @ Reality Chick

I am the same, I realise – I completely freak out before doing it, but if I’m prepared (essential) I can get up there and just roll with it. It’s the anticipation of everything going wrong that stresses me out beforehand. It’s almost like an anxiety attack (but I ward it off before it gets there with deep breathing etc). Funnily enough, once I’m in the moment, I tend to be okay.
Some great ideas here guys – I love the idea of embracing those icky feelings and using them to empower you. X

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Elise

This episode was amazing! And so damn timely.

I am an actor as well as a life coach and literally yesterday I chose to leave my agency because I have been feeling creatively stifled. It feels like a tightness, a squeezing or compressing feeling over my chest.

I think I’ll name this feeling Chachi!

I really love how Josh explained emotions and related them to atoms (lol). I’ve been studying Chekhov technique which is all about impulse and I LOVE it. But what Josh explains is so much more in depth and on a level that I totally get!

Thank you Josh and Marie!
x

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Caroline Frenette Master Intuitive Coach

Namaste Marie,

I’m so glad to hear you guys are doing well: we need you alive & healthy!

This is so timely -thanks Josh- as I have a presentation in front of journalists next Sunday and I’m a little FREAKED OUT.

My nervousness is feeling like a buzz in my body: I’m gonna party with Buzzy!

I’m also going to look at which ones of my Goblins is keeping me from truly enjoying this moment (the spotlight!) and I’m going to flip it.

:)

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Joanne

Caroline – I love your name Buzzy for the jitters when presenting. I think I have a Buzzy too — I’ll think of you doing a Buzzy dance party.

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Irina

Caroline – I agree with Joanne, it should be a Buzzy Dance Party. Your Goblin(s) love to dance and they are just waiting for your invitation to be your dance partner! “To Flip” – it reminds me our stereotypical human reaction (not response); and when we try something to “flip” we usually separate or “run away” ourselves from our aspects (Goblins). Accept and embrace your Goblin(s) as the best Master Dance Partner and you will be like a flowing “Dancing Star” during your Sunday’s presentation. You are one of the best intuitive coaches, as far as I know, and I am sending my prayers and blessings to your beautiful Soul!

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Caroline Frenette Master Intuitive Coach

@Joanne: maybe we should have a Buzzy dance party together ;)

Anybody else wants to join in the fun?

:)

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Martina

I’m in!!! I feel Buzzy too lol

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Nyokabi Nyoike

LOL! I like buzzy. I am going to party with buzzy too. AWESOMENESS!

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Fit Missy

Great episode!

WOW you guys work very well together! Love the sushie!

Public speaking is definitely something I struggled with as I was always worried about being judged by others. My emotions would overcome me and I often felt like I couldn’t do what I was suppose to do.

The feeling was nasty – like being hit with a thousand ping pong balls.

That continued until I decided to simply be myself and accept who I am.

Once I accepted myself for who I am and stopped hiding it, that fear of being judged started to disappear away.

My nickname: Bugger!

Anytime I feel nervous I remind myself that we are all human and experience these emotions. That always makes me feel better. =)

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Meche

SUPER COOL FIT MISSY! super cool…..

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Jackie Freeman, LCSW

I really liked Josh’s advice about riding the wave of energy and not thinking feeling nervous is a bad thing. I agree that if you feel nervous just become aware of the feeling and call it energy and just go with it. Thank you Josh!

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Margie

I agree with Jackie in my appreciation of ‘riding the wave’ instead of trying to conquer it. I like the idea of naming that anxious feeling, etc. I get nervous about putting myself ‘out there’ even though I’ve been running a business and even teaching for years.
Someone once told me to pretend I was hosting a party, and to just welcome people in.

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Romina Alikhan

Totally! I’m feeling some nerves for an upcoming live rhhbschool meet-up i’m hosting this weekend.. I’m going to honour that energy and ride it out. It’s time we stop worrying about things going perfectly but rather think about how we can show up fully and be a true authentic expression of ourselves!

Marie and Josh, you two are AMAZING! So inspiring! I love seeing your love for one another and how real you both are!
Sending you guys so much love!

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Laura Aiisha Haykel

Mmmmm…. Give thanks Marie & Josh! Wow…i’m consistently, explicitly filled with the yummiest vibrations witnessing YOU being fully YOU in the world. What a gift :) It’s all about the VIBES baby!!

I love what Josh offered here today. What a clear, fun, expansive way to relate to energies within our inner being that we’ve labeled as bad, uncomfortable etc.

I’m presenting a playshop this evening entitled Calling All Creatives, and although public speaking isn’t something i’m terrified of, I do get nervous at times.

I love what you offered here about allowing whatever feeling seems to take over the most to be fully present, and that by allowing this energy to be there without trying to change it, it will naturally shift and transform or dissipate. Brilliant! I’ve been experiencing this more and more and was something I thought about offering when I read about the fantasies you were having Marie, after the accident last week. I wondered what it would be like to just allow the energetic vibrations of the fantasy to just fully rise up, be there and then POOF! Clear out…

One of the experiences that has been with me on and off since I was a child is the fear of spirit energy in the dark.

This energy is like spastic starlights in my body that are just shooting from side to side, up and down and it resonates from my chest up into my head where it starts to feel like this tingling, pulsing type of energy.

I’m going to name this energy ‘Inner Starlite Magic’ I’ve been experimenting with allowing this energy to be more fully present, to not turn on a light and to remind myself that i’m safe. I also sometimes use a clearing statement that helps me to release the crazies (weird images or fantasies) that might pop into my mind.

Even though I don’t feel this fear very often anymore, i’ve stepped into an energy of being able to face it when it’s present. This is tremendous growth for me.. it feels triumphant to allow the energy to be there without taking action out of fear or trying to make it go away.

From now on, I will remind myself that the Inner Starlite Magic is turning ON.. Vibrations high and let em’ rise up and clear out.

Empowering!! Now this is a great way to start my Tuesday.

Highly Bless Y’all!!!

xx

Your SiSTAR
Laura

ps… Love the dance party at the end.. so inspired by all the FUN you’re having in life and biz :)

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Amber J.

Marie,

Your boo gives good advice! Great vid!

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Desiree Scales

How cool is it I’m watching this video literally minutes before interviewing Sarah Miller Caldicott who is Thomas Edison’s great grandniece? We’ll be talking about innovation and collaboration. I love Josh’s story about his father and how he explained his job. I’m sitting here nervous about the interview but this helped me accept it and get around that. This interview is going to ROCK! Thanks Marie and Josh! Glad to see you two are making a difference for all of us.

Off to vibrate! HA HA!

Desiree

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Alison

Holy cow, Desiree! That is what I call serendipity! I’m sitting here at 4:45 pm Eastern and KNOWING that you rocked that interview. I can feel it. Don’t you just love it when what you need to hear pops up at just the right time? Love it. ANNND, I want to hear how it went!

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Lorena

Hi! I’m so glad to hear you guys are doing well!
I really LOVE this episode! I like very much how you work together!!
Thanks for these advices!

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Marican Garcia

OM Gosh!!!! You two are vibrating so much LOVE!!!
It really made my day to see this and to know that you two are recovering from your accident…
I giggled to the dance clip!!!! It’s what I want for me, and to express!

How Fun!!!
Much love,
Marican Garcia

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Rachel Hartstein, L.Ac.

What a gift this was. I watched with my 2.5 year-old son by my side, and we both were enthralled! Loved watching the conscious partnership embodied by you and Josh as well.

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Nathalie Lussier

We love you Josh!

Seriously, your work with us has changed my life. I am so excited that you’re making your work available to even more people through the magic of the interwebs.

Every time I hear the story about your dad, it gets better. I hear it differently, or something lands for me.

Sending so much love to both of you!

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Wendie Tobin

Off topic, but Nathalie, I’ve never heard of you before today, and in the past three hours, I’ve encountered your web presence in three, unrelated instances. *fist bumps* \\\\:////

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Melody Granger

Woohoo Josh! I’ve so missed your great advice. and used it for years now! It’s always great to get reminders. It keeps me on track.

BTW, Josh, I see you’re on netflix, too. ;-D Gotta watch ya one day soon!

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Laura Wallis | Online Marketing Consultant

First, so grateful to hear you are all doing well. So grateful.

Absolutely, love Josh and his work. Have been following him a bit since I first discovered him through you. Really believe in his message and have being wanting to really make use of his practices. Will work on naming my fears and using his method.

And thank you so much for the audio! So appreciate it the mp3!

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Louise - Team Forleo

You will LOVE it Laura, it’s amazing.

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Leslie

I loved this message! I was so worried about what was “wrong” with me, but now that I know it is just that I am a vibrator, I am suddenly at ease! My feeling lately has been feeling completely overwhelmed!

The feeling is:chaotic internal trembling

Name: Aunt Jemima

Now I know when I am vibrating with Aunt Jemima; everything is gonna be alright!

Thank you so much!!!
Leslie

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Heather Thorkelson

What I love about this the most is that Josh’s whole approach is about not trying to be different or pretend you’re something you’re not or squash the natural feelings that come up in you. Own that stuff. Use it! It has certainly worked for me and I love that you guys are helping to spread this wisdom through Marie TV. Nice!

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saida

LOVE JOSH! He rocks! How fun!!!!

Thank you for sharing your man’s genius Marie. :)

I love the reframe, rename, & reclaim!!!

Authenticity all the way… very sexy.

Fear is a biggie for me.
It feels like a fizzy candy in my belly.
It’s my new ‘Sha-Zoo’

So here’s to Sha-Zooing like never before.

Again, thank you for beauty you always share so graciously!

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Jennifer

» I struggle with: Feeling mis-/not understood
» What is the sensation: Heart races, shallow breath, tight in my stomach, flush cheeks, lump in throat.
» Alias: Panda

I LOVE this identification and nickname practice! Panda wants to disrupt things to return to more solid ground, But Panda can party with the vibrations too. Thanks for more permission to feel myself, John & Marie. I love me some Committed Impulse in whatever way shape or form—delightfully today it was delivered via Q&A Tuesday.

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Joanne

Marie and Josh
Thank you for your insights into working with emotions in business and life. I love the idea of reframing them as ‘atoms’, naming them, and embracing their energy instead of fighting it!

I love @FitMissy’s name “Bugger” for her public speaking worries, and @Caroline’s “Buzzy” for presentation jitters.

I struggle with not feeling ‘good enough’. I feel like there’s a black hole inside, sucking in all my confidence and ability to give. “Crusher” is a name that comes to mind. Wow, now it has a name. Let’s see where Crusher takes me this week.

Thank you so much for the experiment – I can’t wait to go out and try it.

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Barbara

Wow, Joanne, you hit the bull’s eye on this one for me. You’re describing exactly the feeling I get about not feeling “good enough.” Thank you for the courage to post this — it was something I needed to see. Love the name Crusher:)

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Brandie

Anxiety. It is terrible! I feel like I can’t breathe, like I am going to pass out, like someone is sitting on my chest, like there are a million tiny pins pricking my face. Ugh.

Nickname: Whirling Dervish.

This Q&A was just what I needed today, so thanks!

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Emma Gwillim - Life Design Coach

Great video.

I’m an introvert and, while I’m not shy, being the centre of attention and commanding people’s attention is a big fear of mine. For a long time I avoided any situation that involved public speaking on any scale.

I love Josh’s comment that shyness maybe isn’t something to overcome. I’ve learned to embrace my introvertedness and know this offers me a different perspective that those confident, chatty extroverts….!

I would certainly say though, as with anything else, the things that seem scary lose their power the more we have the courage to push through our comfort zones. Far from avoiding it now, I have flipped it to see it as an opportunity to get better and better…. (though a small group and intimate conversation will always be my safer ground!) x

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Natalie Sisson

I actually adore how speaking helps me grow as a person and better define my ‘why’ and my core message.

I’ve seen it transform others too, especially introverts, into confident beings who radiate from stage.

A great tip I was told is to remember its about your audience, not you. Focus on delivering massive value to them and it becomes much less daunting and more enjoyable.

This is a topic we can always learn more about – the world needs more great speakers, thanks Marie.

Natalie

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Katy

Uncertainty – what do I do next (regarding a specific decision in my life)

Atoms are just sitting still – not knowing whether or not to vibrate, move, bounce – just paralyzed with “not knowing”

Nickname: shruggy

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Gayle

Me too…Uncertainty, Fear, Self Doubt. It’s paralyzing, and the more critical it becomes for me to DO SOMETHING the more panicked, paralyzed and incapable of making a decision I seem to become. I feel like its choking me and sucking me down.

It feels like “Quicksand”.

Oddly enough, that’s a pretty good metaphor for what Josh was talking about…when you struggle in quicksand, it just swallows you up even faster. If you want to get out, you have to stop struggling and just swim in it. Hmmm.

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Gina

Shyness is so complicated. My husband was the shyest person I knew, but when onstage (he was a jazz musician), in front of thousands of people, he was so loose and relaxed and I didn’t recognize him.

I’m just the opposite: rather bossy, maybe even pushy sometimes, but turn on the camera and I melt into a pile of nerves.

So thanks for the tips!

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D'Arcy

I remember first learning about this (pigeons!) at RHHLive last year and it has been key to me getting more in touch with my emotions and dealing with them, as you said, in really non-dramatic ways (unless I’m acting!). What I loved most learning about this from Josh in person was his reminder about being present. You both mentioned it again today–feel the feelings, be honest.

I love public speaking, I get a high from it, but when I’m at a party of people (with no planned time for me to speak), I get incredibly insecure. I always try to talk myself out of it and usually end up standing close to a door or a corner and just observing people (that sounds more creepy than I mean it to).

The insecurity feels like I’m smaller, tiny, like all my atoms have stopped partying and gathered into my stomach and I want to huddle into myself.

Today–I dub that feeling “willy-wonka”

And I’ll get real with it!

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Sandy Galiano

D’Arcy, WOW! I didn’t realize it…..
But I am the EXACT WAY.

I love to talk, love love love. And yet I get observational and quiet in a group I am unfamiliar with when I am not the main speaker but just another woman part of the group. Yep. yep, yep.

Thanks for sharing. I gotta work on that! ;)

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Fiona Campbell

Hi Marie and Josh,

I struggle with nervousness every day so, I’m delighted to have your tactics to try.

The emotion I struggle with is fear.

It feels like everything is vibrating inside me and around me, uncontrollably, it tightens my throat, makes my face tight, fixes a grin on my face which I can’t shift, makes my thoughts run so fast they come out as though I’m playing a game of emotional Squash with the other person.

I often find that when I start speaking, everyone else starts speaking at the same time and to drown me out, children start to cry and people have accidents around me.

I am doing exactly what you said: I am trying to suppress my fear and carry on as normal. It’s interesting that you say people don’t trust a person who is doing that, because that’s exactly what I’m afraid of: of not being trusted, of being doubted.

I am going to nickname these vibes as buzzers. And I will say to myself “I have got the buzzers. I wonder what they feel like if I ride them? I wonder what they will turn into after 7-12 seconds, I have never felt that feeling before, I am curious to know what happens next.”

I have a lot to share with the world, this has always been my stumbling block, no more!

Thank you Josh and Marie.

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Sarah

Fiona, I am so right there with you!
The buzzing -so loud I can’t hear my own thoughts, and everyone else seems blankly frozen in time- the tightness, the strange uncomfortable grin affixed to my face. My mouth gets dry, my tongue doubles in size, my head feels so tight I might squish myself right out of existence – which is probably exactly what I’m trying to do in those moments.

I can feel them right now just creating this moment, and as I write am putting my attention out of my head and back into my body. I can trust that this feeling is just some ‘vibing atoms’ that I can ride along with-
nothing to give control over to, or try to manipulate, either. Just being authentically me and acknowledging the roller coaster from this moment to the next. Wheee!

Presence is a virtue!

Great video Marie and Josh, thank you for sharing yourselves!

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Josh Pais

Hi Fiona
One thing I want to point out to you.
You wrote…

“it tightens my throat, makes my face tight, fixes a grin on my face which I can’t shift, makes my thoughts run so fast they come out as though I’m playing a game of emotional Squash with the other person.”

The fact that u were experiencing fear didn’t cause those things to happen.
Rather – the fact that you were trying NOT to feel the fear is what caused all those things to happen.
That’s why we all have to ride it not hide it.
When u ride it you stay present – even if it is a little intense – and I bet you will see that people won’t talk when you talk, because you are going to be able to listen and people are going to listen to you with greater clarity.
Have fun exploring.
Best
Josh

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Lynn

Wow, Josh-you just gave the a HUGE ‘chills’ AHA moment! By saying that all of those negative feelings and sensations, or paralyzing facial expressions are not caused by the fear, but by suppressing the fear, what a COOL way to look at it!

Now I understand what NOT to do when talking to people (not just in public speaking, but in general). I think I will name those feelings ‘globbers’ because that’s what they feel like! Big heavy clumps of fear!

Thank you THANK you!

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Lizzie Larock

Ride it not hide it. Brilliant, Josh. Thanks so much. Shazam.

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Johanna

I love love love #3 – Ride it don’t hide it. As you both mentioned, as soon as you have that feeling of “Oh I’m shy/scared/fearful etc” we think it’s bad. But addressing and identifying what you are feeling is so empowering. And gives you such a better place to move from.

Thanks for sharing Josh :)

xx Johanna

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KiKi L'Italien

God, I needed this right about now. I’ve been dealing with such anxiety lately that has been taking a physical toll on me. I have a presentation coming up that I am having nightmares about and you and Josh just made me feel so much more relief over it. Thanks for your ongoing mission and pump up the jams, sistah!

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Louise - Team Forleo

Kiki,
SO glad that this episode feels like it can help. Please keep us posted!

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Nikki

I’m a mural artist that specializes in children’s artwork. I have 2 daughters that are 9 & 11, I drive my kids to school & parties, and SHOULD have tons of business due to these abundant opportunities. But I still feel the way I always have since childhood; awkward around people in groups…like a perpetual 3rd wheel. I’m awesome 1 on1, but I freeze when trying to work my way into a crowd. The vibes that I make are like a turning inside out feeling- just insanely uncomfortable- and I would call it spongy. Yep; I get Spongy.

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Josh Pais

Hey Nikki
I hear ya.
You may want to experiment with something…
The next time you feel “awkward” (followed by a conversation you have about being a third wheel) – give this a try.
Identify exactly what u r feeling and breathe deep to feel it even MORE.
At the same time continue to stay involved with the people around you. They won’t know what u r doing. But practicing feeling the sensation and staying engaged with what is in front of you will pull you out of that third wheel conversation. Also people want you to be there. They are there with you because they love ya. So jump in and have fun with them.
You’re a gift!
Best
Josh

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Lola

Hey Marie and Josh- thanks so much for this video- I’m playing hookey on BSchool for my Tuesday update- sooo worth it!
I friggin *HATE* getting up in front of people- and I’m no wallflower- to me it’s like what I imagine standing in front of a firing line would be like: certain death!
So that’s what I’d like to overcome- paralyzing fear of public speaking; in terms of how that feels? Gotta say it’s like having a cage around my heart closing in tighter and tighter- squeezing the life outta me.
Okay, let’s change it up… I’ll party with those vibrations and call them “Les Cages Aux Folles” cause that makes me smile…
Definitely relate to being authentic- it’s the only way to be!
Get better and thanks so much for BSchool- it’s not just a game changer- it’s a life changer!

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Steve Borek

1 – I have a challenge embracing compliments. Fully accepting them.
“Steve, you’re a great coach!”
“Steve, you’re a great writer!”
Any type of accolade makes me cringe.

2 – When I hear compliments, I want to crawl under a rock. Weird, I know. I don’t like to be in the spotlight. I want to shine it on everyone else.

3 – Nickname? I’ll call it “Oh No!”

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Wendie Tobin

“Oh No!” sounds like trying to fight it. How about, “Hells, Yes!”

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Steve Borek

I forgot. I was suppose to reframe the name!

Hells Yes! I like the sound of it. Thanks Wendie!

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Laura Summers

Hi Marie and Josh – I am floored by this, truly can’t thank you enough.

The world certainly gives us what we need at the time that we need it and this is no exception.

I know that I am right around the corner from a huge transition. Not just in my business (I’m a B Schooler baby :) ) but also in my personal life and relationships with those close to me.

The resounding issue that stops me from moving forward is fear based anxiety. I’m a self employed single mother and I’m forever worrying about money – even though I don’t really need to in the way that I did before.

I feel it through my very core. I usually describe it as a fizz that starts in my stomach and rises upwards until it’s in my head and enveloping me.

I want to allow myself to feel it and know that I will and always DO come out the other side feeling more awesome. That feeling teaches me something every single time and I want to recognise it as an indication that something is about to propel me forward. I have to relax into it and be blown with the wind.

I’ll nickname it – The Bungles

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Hailley Griffis

“Ride it, don’t hide it!”

I love it! This is all great advice. Thank you so much Marie and Josh!

Every time I watch a Marie TV episode, I walk away with a whole new set of thoughts and understanding of myself and the world around me.

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Leah Jantzen-Life and Business Coach

Marie I love all your videos but this one in particular spoke to me.

I cannot help but appreciate the approach Josh takes when it comes to fear. My fear is not speaking in front of people (I actually love it!) but my fear is that I will SUCK!

In my head I am this amazing speaker and writer and I have SO much I want to share with my peeps. My fear is around SHARING it and letting it out there.

I need to allow myself to vibrate…Thank you Josh and Marie. Love the energy you two brought to this video :)

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Courtney Rioux Hubbard

You guys are so loving and sweet to each other. Loved this. As an actor and a coach, this will help me so much. I can’t wait to rename my “negative” feelings to fun words like, “shussy”. :)

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amy

What a meaningful video, you two are adorable.

I have always been pretty comfortable speaking in front of groups in a professional setting. My challenge is that consistently whenever I am asked to speak in an emotional setting, like my mom’s big surprise party, or a friends wedding I am so overcome by emotion I well up and find I can’t adequately voice how I feel about this person that I care so much about without crying (I don’t mean a timely tear, more like a choking, can’t get words out, display of emotion).

It feels much more like I am about to sob, throat closes up, waterfall of tears about to spill. This happened at my wedding and during our thank you toast I handed the mic to my husband because I felt I physically could not get any more words out. I was so disappointed in myself because I felt so genuinely thankful and wanted to voice that in front of all of our people. Any tips when it happens in the middle of a toast and I dont feel like I have the 7-12 seconds to fully feel it as everyone is watching? many thanks!

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Dawn

Hi Amy,

That’s happens to me and what I find is that people get drawn in to the emotions and begin to feel what I’m feeling. It’s like what Josh said, about watching people speak, people love it when we’re real and coming from the heart. When I get to the point that my throat feels closed and my voice is barely a squeak with tears streaming, I stop, close my eyes, take a few deep breaths, and pause in the moment. Sometimes I may have to stop a couple of times and that’s okay. Often people will come up to me afterwards with tears in their eyes, give me a hug and tell me that what I said really touched them.

I think when we allow ourselves to feel and show our emotions, we give others permission to do the same. I hope this helps :-)

Hugs,
Dawn

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amy

Thanks so much Dawn!
I think you’re right, in the moment taking a few seconds always feels like an eternity, but in all likelihood adds to the sentiment :)

especially as wedding season approaches I have been trying to visualize how a great character in a movie would deliver the toast and write it before hand with all the emotion and sentiment, then day of remove myself emotionally and think of it more as a performance piece… dangerous, I am not in any way an actor. think i’ll just go with the tears :)

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Laura Jones | Link to Yourself

Amy – such a sweet story!
Just this morning I was talking with a friend about her fear of public speaking. She confessed to me that she once had to give a major presentation at work and got a hot flash right in the middle of it. So embarrassing, right? But if you ignore hot flashes, they just come back with a vengeance! So she just turned it into a joke and asked everyone to excuse her for a few seconds because she was having a hot flash! Everyone laughed, and they even asked her to come back and present again the next week.

When your emotion hits you like a truck, the best thing is just to embrace it, and share it with people. No one will judge you for being emotional. I cried like a baby at my wedding, and everyone only found it very endearing.

Remember what Marie said in this video – once you embrace it fully, it really only lasts for 7-10 seconds or so. When it hits you, just embrace it. Say it out loud, let yourself be vulnerable, and don’t be afraid of taking the few seconds you need to let yourself choke up a bit before you can talk again.

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Sarah Lawrence Hinson

Love this video!!! You guys talka my language! Especially love the part about ‘this’ as well as ‘that’ being centered. Speaking your truth is being centered, being authentic = being centered. Had a paradigm shift over that one. Reframing my personal definition of being centered, which up to this point I had generalized as ‘grounded’. They are two different things in truth.

So I’m going to expand on something that I’ve been reframing…when I get ‘shushy’ (and I have public speaking experience) I have helped myself by saying “I’m nervous because I care”. It has helped. Now I’m going to change it to. “I’m ready to share so I’m having a heart opening.”

Heart Opened.

Thanks Josh and Marie.

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Kim

What a fantastic episode with lots of great advice for public speaking and beyond. I can see the benefits of this advice for any emotion we experience as “negative.”

For example, I have a fear that comes up in the face of conflict, where I feel panic and a tightening in the chest. I like the idea of recognizing and (nick)naming this feeling – how about Chester – and then really feeling it and moving on.

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Joy

Wow, that was inspiring. Thanks so much, Marie & Josh!

I’m 56 and feel inhibited by my age and appearance now as opposed to the very young & beautiful in the world. I see photos of myself now and wonder, “Who Is that person?!?”

The fear of getting out there in front of people feels like a dead weight – like the opposite of vibration. It’s a big block.

Perhaps I should call it Rocky and try to climb over it?

At this point I just want to delete this comment and move on, but maybe others can relate?

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Andreya

My day job at the moment is waitressing and I find myself annoyed/frustrated with my manager bc we have different ideas of what a restaurant manager’s role is.
I’m working on being more in the moment with what I am doing instead of thinking about his shortcomings but sometimes it is tricky. I will allow myself to feel this, I’m having a hard time at the moment coming up w ith a nickname for it, but will remember it’s just a vibration and to keep it movin to be the best server possible :D. Thanks for this video Marie and Josh!

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Jo Bradshaw

Gosh. That gave me goosebumps – so beautiful.

I’m gonna reframe that first question. ‘An emotion I want to overcome’ now becomes ‘an emotion I want to come along with.’ See what you did there already? I think for me, it’s pure emotion, pathos, whatever you call it that comes so intensely that I can’t speak for fear I might cry or choke up. Ironically, it’s at that very moment that I would have something profoundly worth expressing if only I could.

Atomically, it’s surging and expanding like hot gas in a bell jar. Swelling and blocking; moving too fast.

Nickname? Hmmm….have to go for Sergei here. Sergei arrives and wants to come out all at once he’s just full of so much care and passion, but he’s inviting me to just stop, witness that he’s arrived, and let him express his truth in his own sweet time.

LOVE the fear as creative juice. *Writes on notice board*…

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Andreya

I love that you used the name Sergei and i think it fits my nasty annoyance feeling perfectly! I’m going to borrow this name from you! Thank you. When I get that tight feeling in my jaw I will say “Sergei, keep it moving! I’m trying to be an awesome server!”

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Anne

When I was a singer, fear and anxiety paralyzed my ability to sing for an audience when I was introduced as myself. However, when I played a character in a musical or sang a solo as part of a larger choral work, it was so much easier to push through the fearful vibrations when I didn’t feel like it was me putting myself out there as myself. However, I have to say, it was SO much easier to overcome my fear when I was an actress, or even now when giving a speech to a large crowd of my fears because I can just feel the feelings instead of the feelings actually having a physical affect on the work I create. So, while I’ve been able to utilize fear as an energy factor in most of my life, it still stops and interrupts my voice when I get up to sing. I’m still working on it from a mental level – acknowledging that I don’t need to be perfect, I just need to let the energy flow out of me, but feeling it as a stopping energy – Mr Stopperson – doesn’t seem like the best strategy, ha! It’s definitely a practice and not something that is accomplished by only trying once and giving up.

In the audition world, I got over my fears by deciding that if I didn’t get this audition, it would just give me more time to audition for many more parts and meet many more directors and choreographers than I would have met otherwise. In the speaking world, I got up on stage because no one else would stand up and deliver the message that I thought needed to be heard. But man… I’d still like to throw Mr. Stopperson off the stage when he arrives with a solo aria.

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Shevy

Awesome!

When I am put in the spotlight I emotionally freeze.

It feels like a well oiled industrial machine becoming suddenly locked!

I’m naming it my lockbock!

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Sandy Galiano

Thanks Marie and Josh! with my Chemistry/Biochemistry degree I totally get this. :)

I love speaking so not scared at all. What I do now when I feel fear (because I can instantly recognize the most itty bitty fear that creeps up)… TO OVERCOME FEAR I switch gears. I shift into a higher level of taking action (whether it means scared of rejection so I write more proposals OR waiting for health news about someone I love….I remind myself that I do not know until I know so until then I’ll do 20 min yoga to breathe and remind myself its ok)

To sum up, FOR ME overcoming fear is finding an action I can take.

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Carla LaBrosse

Great video. Thanks! I love the idea of representing feelings as something tangible. Thanks for sharing Josh! PS: Love the dancing at the end. Put a smile on my face!

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Pat

Does Josh have programs for tweens and teens? That would be awesome!

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Josh Pais

Hey Pat
More and more I am working with younger people.
But right off the bat – I would suggest they listen to the “My Free Lesson” on the http://committedimpulse.com site. If that resonates with them then the Online Program is the way to go.
Best
Josh

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Anne

love the video. so much!!
I am fine speaking to and in front of others, in fact I love it.
my stress and “bad feelings” are overwhelm and anxiety. I am always telling my kids {who have them too} just remember, this won’t last forever, nothing ever stays the same for very long… and excitement and anxiety are so close in vibration that they are easily confused for each other.
This whole thing gets really cool when you realize how our energy affects others and vice versa. It took me a long time to realize that I was feeling other people. Especially those close to me… which is why I try to be as positive of a broadcast as I can be, for my family, friends, and clients.
Thanks again for bringing more awareness to this! You rock! xo

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Desha Peacock

Ok, I’m vibrating with a bit of jealousy right now… how cute is Josh! I love having a little inside view of what you (Marie) and your hubby talk about. Lucky lady to be able to share in depth about your passions in work, life and love with your partner :)

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DeAnne Pearson, Career Coach

Love it….Although I am an enormous extrovert….I am struggling with being fearful in the leadership role of my biz….So, I am naming that fear “Teddy Bear” instead of fighting it….Wow, that makes a difference….Now, I can embrace and use that energy for good. Thanks..

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Kate Stefans

YOU ARE AWESOME. First off you and your fiance are adorable, but more than that I can so appreciate this episode. I tried to overcome my shyness for nearly a decade and hated that this was a part of who I was. When I cam to understand that I feel more being a highly senstiive person, I reframed my sensations exactly the way you described – as a vibration. This really propelled me to heal on a deep level and stop using food to feel not okay about myself. This is something I know teach to my clients (as an emotional eating coach for the highly sensitive). WOOP WOOP! Spreading the love Marie. -Kate

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DMyles

1. “Worthless” – that’s the base vibration that holds me back from ‘being’ my true, out loud self.

2. I feel as if the atoms stop vibrating and instead become still, stagnant, constricting even.

3. I’m renaming the vibration “Precious” because it’s the opposite of ‘worthless’. I may change that though because “Precious” doesn’t resonate right now. But it’s a great place to start eh?

(PS – what a joy to see you and the sweetie on such a supportive journey together. Glad also that you all fared well after the crash.)

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Juliette

Well it sure resonates with me, I like precious very much.

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Prudence Ticknor, Wellness Coach

Loved this video! Such great but simple techniques! I work with people on working through emotional eating, binge eating and over eating. I use a similar philosophy of sitting with your feelings and learning about them but the way Josh has it is so much more fun. The way he has his steps almost makes it exciting and intriguing to want to work through. The steps with in themselves were such a huge re-frame for me. Tell him thank you so much! I look forward to using for myself and sharing with my clients!

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Tamisha

Josh & Marie – thank you SO much for this. I do believe this will be a game changer for me in a few ways.

I recently started working with introvert women entrepreneurs and this is something that comes up a lot. Many of them want to be speakers. Not all introverts are shy, but some do have that component to their personality. I believe this will help me help them, and for that I need to say thank you.

For me personally, I am an introvert but not shy, so this has helped me, in that, I have wanted to put myself out there to speak for some time, but typically let my nerves just overcome me. I’m that gal who just tries to appear not nervous, and it never works.

Something I teach is how important it is for introverts and introvert entrepreneurs to manage their energy. I love how this fits with that idea. Giving a nickname to those nerves & feelings is a darn good management approach – love it!

Thanks again!

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Amyli McDaniel

Tamisha- I love how you are helping introvert women entrepreneurs- your work will empower so many more women. I, too, am not shy but am an introvert- I love talking one on one and even in small groups but I have never been comfortable with public speaking- something I am challenging myself to overcome as I work on my life work of helping others.

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Tamisha

Awesome, Amyli! Thank you. My work will be in two-fold in that, I want to educate that introversion doesn’t always = shyness, while also helping introvert women entrepreneurs know they have the same opportunities other business folks have – they just have to learn how to use their seeming “disadvantages” and turn them into advantages.

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Christine

Timely topic.

Naming the anxiety I feel as a heavy tightening in the middle of my chest that rises to my throat and sinks to my stomach as Shizzle.

Thank you.

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Veronica Haywood

Thank you Marie and Josh. I love ‘ride it don’t hide it’. I have a demonstration in front of my first ever audience next week, and ‘Mr Gurgles’ and I are now much more focused. Love and Hugs Vx

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Sharon Coleman

Three things:
1) Marie and Josh, your love shines through in every video I’ve seen of you two!
2) Marie, yours is the ONLY list I’ve ever been on that I’ve actually thought to myself, “Yeah, I’ts Tuesday, I’ll get an email from such and such list today!”

3) To answer your question: I don’t feel shy of public speaking, but I do get this freekyweaky feeling whenever I feel trapped or completely out of control. I vibrate completely hot then completely cold and then there’s a complete disconnect between my brain and my actions and words. It usually ends up not so cool. I will SO be implementing these tips (I hope) if I can remember in time, before I get my freak on! These feelings can come up pretty fast and intense. I am afraid my rational mind won’t remember to catch it in time. The freakyweaky can be kinda sneaky. ;)

I do love being a vibrator though! :)

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Maureen Muldoon

That was awesome. I loved watching you watch your husband. Such love, so beautiful. My least favorite emotion is “hurt feelings” it does not visit too often, but when it does it can be hard to shake. It feels small, wounded, shallow and stagnant. I think I will call her pookie or pouty… lol sorta fun to think about and thought I don’t invite “hurt feelings” with the exercise I look forward to playing around the next time to shows up.

Side note: Marie, on today’s video I felt the desire to make you a cup of tea. You are an amazing lady and I hope you take the time to unplug, put your feet up and have a cup of tea. I Hope I am not too much in your kool-aid… it comes from a place of love. I know you know that the more you give the more self-care you need. <3

Continued blessings you to and your wonderful husband.

PS my personal favorite tea is Good Earth Sweet and Spicy… love in a mug.

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Lisa

This was a wonderful video yet again! Every week you touch on things that ring so true to me and I just love learning how to break through my fears. A sensation I wish to overcome is the one I get when I’m trying to describe my thoughts to people. I feel like I have hard time using the right words to relay my message and then when I become tongue tied I feel the warming sensation throughout my body that makes me feel like maybe I’m not getting my point across accurately and therefore feel like the audience has tuned out and I begin to ramble even more trying to bring them back which in turn just gets me even more off track. The craziest sensation ever!! I think though the reason why I get that way is because of exactly what you and Josh mentioned in the video that when I feel that sensation I try to suppress it and I become distracted by it so much that I lose myself in it instead of embracing it and continuing on with my thought! I love how now that I understand that the sensation is not a bad thing I am excited to see where it will take me.
The feeling I have is almost indescribable but if I have to I will say it starts out as a warming sensation that begins in my chest with my heart speeding up and then it goes to my head in a tingling/numbing sensation. My lips even begin to vibrate and I think that is where I always have the hardest time is feeling like my lips are actually shaking and therefore feel like it discredits what I’m saying or comes across as though I am unsure of myself even though I am completely sure of what I’m trying to say but the words go blank because I get caught up in the feeling in my head and lips!! Crazy!! So glad to finally have it labeled in a way that is uplifting instead of distracting and negative.
The nickname that first comes to mind is “Electra” because it is such an electrifying sensation!!
Thank you so much for this video!! Very cool!! :)

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Josh Pais

Hi Lisa
I have a hunch…
I’ll bet when you start to feel those sensations that you don’t like so much – that you also radically decrease your breathing.
And as we decrease our breathing we tend to get unfocused and our bodies start to funny things ( well not that funny:). So experiment breathing deep, as you stay connected to your immediate environment. I’ll bet your thoughts will come out clearly and people will be very engaged in what you are saying.
Let me know how that works.
Best
Josh

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Melanie Kearney

Thank you so much for this authentic resourceful video. Really appreciate that this comes from some of the magic of both of you!
Desire to break through: Fear of really being heard & seen in my authenticity in the limelight….fear of being seen as phony or not worth hearing &/or being overshadowed & therefore not bothering to even try to express my being.
Vibrational experience: condensed heavy mass
Nickname: bombunctious

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Arlen

Wow! that was just awesome Marie. And thank your Josh on my behalf for giving us some his time and explain so simply and in a fun way how to deal with stressing sessions. I truly appreciate all and every single one of the tips.
In my case I feel particularly shy to talk to people that are new in my environment, whether work or my social life, people that I might see everyday but never there to speak to. For me it feels more like my chest expands and my heart start bitting so fast that I have to take a few deep breaths to calm down,and all this happen while I’m actually thinking that I want or need to talk to that person because he or she may be a potential friend or someone just interesting enough to meet.
Just today over lunch I follow some of Josh’s steps and I gave the first step in a conversation with a colleague I have never spoken to. result: wonderfully enjoyable talk, and I even get an invitation to visit him in Machester if I ever go there. So great!
So you see that my bungyjumpy atoms led to something nice in the end once I was able to ride them instead of hide them.
Love your show more each day! Thanks for being there :)

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Josh Pais

That’s awesome Arien.
And just know that meeting new people for most of us generates more body sensation than seeing people we are familiar with. So, might as well ride those sensations when they occur – exactly as you described.
Keep having fun!
Best
Josh

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Leigh

Marie and Josh,
The words you used in this episode are spot on. I often find myself unable to express in words what I know/feel. Thank you for sharing this wisdom today.

My favorite part was when Josh shared to remove the idea of having to put an experienced feeling in a negative category and replace it with acceptance of what it is – an expression, a tool, fuel.

I’m not one to leave comments on things like this, but I’m inspired by today’s message to accept my feelings of total and complete gratitude for your message today and share it with your readers. So thank you!

As for the challenge, I named my vibes ‘swoosh’ – after the Nike swoosh because I need to Just Do It.

Thanks again and Happy Joy!

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Christine

If I am put on the spot to answer a question, respond or give my point of view no matter the number of people present my stomach gets tied up in knots and it feels like the acid is burning through. Sometimes I even blush.

I nickname this vibe “Burn Notice”.

It helps if I am comfortable with the people present. I guess you could say my perceived judgment factor. All it takes is one person I don’t know and I have more of a internal conversation than with the people around me.

Thanks for this video post. I love the idea of respecting the vibe and seeing where it takes you.

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Aaron

Agree with the 7-12 second thing. You can learn all these random tricks to “hide” your nervousness.. and they become the crutch. Reality is you WILL get nervous if stuff matters. Better to handle the feelings than self medicate with weird tricks (ps. just to be clear Josh is showing how to deal with the feelings, not teaching crutches!!)

People want to connect with the REAL you – want to ride on your passion (ride the passion wagon?) and putting up masks just breaks that connection.

Be you. Let them love you.

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Amy Jacobellis

Fear – it’s a gripping of my chest, stomach, and throat, and a fire in my cheeks and temples. I picture it as a red triangle, and I let it increase and burn out. (12 seconds)

I name it “Gaylord.” Then I laugh at it out loud because it is so wimpy and only lasts 12 seconds! And it has such a wimpy name!

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Kristin Morris

Josh/Marie!

You hit it home for me disassociating my fear/nervousness and naming it… that’s flippin’ brilliant for someone like me who feels everything and everyone very intensely. I’m shazaming right now as I am whiteboarding all the key points in this video as I’m creating my own promo video for my crowdfunder for my start-up Hubster (digital marketplace for women solopreneurs + professionals) which will be on Indiegogo in a few days and I’m so scared about it! I’ve been procrastinating for weeks and I just have to do it already! This will help me get there today!

Hope you both are healing from your accident quickly.
Namaste
XO
Kristin

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Roshini

Hey Marie and Josh!

What an amazing episode today- thank you, thank you! I found real value in the fact that just because I’m scared or nervous, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing- it’s just another vibration. It’s a relief to see it this way.

So here’s my answers to the challenge:

Sensation/emotion I most struggle with: Fear

In terms of vibrating atoms: It’s atoms/vibrations that feel like a moving, rolling thing in the pit of my stomach

Nickname of vibe: roly

Roshini X

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Lynn McGreer

Loved this today! The challenge:
1) a fearless moral inventory (that I am beginning, so as to facilitate healing and bring on a profound personality change through a recovery program) which has been looming overhead for over a year. It is one of the most critical pieces of the recovery process.
2) it feels heavy and tight and reluctance and fear are sprinkled all over those vibrations.I would dare say that the vibration is very very slow and actually makes me feel frozen, unable to do and accomplish what I need to lately.
3)name it and ride it:I immediately thought of what gives me comfort…which is water, being in it or on it, so I thought riding on water, but with some momentum and speed……Im naming it the blue streak waverider. I appreciate both of you taking the time to share these tools with us. I love how Josh talked about embracing something rather than negating or disowning it; which might just be who we are, and how you,Marie mentioned the re-framing. That was a perfect way to state the action. I am going to take today and do the writing I have needed to for a long time, and now….I will be riding the bluestreak waverider, so it will flow effortlessly! It’s silly, yes, but sillyness keeps it light! Have a blessed day!

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Erin

Whenever I talk about something close to my heart…which, to me, is the only thing really worth talking about, I often feel overwhelmed with emotion and start to tear up & my voice quivers. All my little atoms are swelling up and creating a tsunami of energy inside me. I like that if I just pause and feel it, it will pass in 7-12 seconds! Now what can I name this tsunami of love…..suggestions anyone?
Thanks!
Erin

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Josh Pais

Tsumi-love?

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Minela

Fear! It has been my shadow since I was 8 years old. I was just a little girl when I had to leave my country and family because of the war in Bosnia. Somehow the fear never left. I know I’m safe now but the feeling doesn’t change. It’s like the fear for my life has transformed into fear of making decisions and allowing myself to feel what I feel and be who I am. I’d love to get rid of that crippling feeling so I can make something of my life. Thank you for this video.

x Minela

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Kendra

OMG…I love this video. Just named my vibes Mazey and I think I’m actually going to love her! Thank you sooooooo much.

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Caitlyn

Hi Marie and Josh. Thanks for such a profound video. Really great work. One emotion that I am trying to overcome is anxiety. Anxiety feels like a whirlwind in my mind, my heart races and my throat and chest close up. The atoms aren’t flowing at all and everything is stuck in my head. I don’t feel my body. I am going to nickname these emotions Caitlyn’s anxiety summer camp and go on summer camp with them every time. Nothings bad at summer camp. I also have the emotion of excitement. It feels like a bursting sensation in my chest, my limbs vibrate, and every movement is forward moving and very active. When balanced I am very high energy, enthusiastic, animated individual. In the past I have tried to hide this and held a lot of shame around it, I would push it down and not appreciate that as a gift. I took an improv class and that helped very much in letting out what I’ve got to share, so did this video. I am going to nickname this emotion *MAGIC MOJO* because that will be my magic mojo that makes things happen and engages everyone when I have my first TED talk!

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Liz Donaghy

Caitlyn,
Thank you so much for sharing this. Anxiety is one of my atom vibrating emotions too and I also experience similar sensations when it occurs, especially the “stuck in the head” thing, though for me my chest gets tight and I forget to breathe. The summer camp analogy made me laugh out loud as a former summer camper, great reframe. The name that came up for me was Kooky Auntie, don’t ask me why but like your summer camp thing it made me laugh. Will also drink me up a glass of your magic mojo!

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melissa

thank you for this beautiful interview. your love radiates.

1. the emotion: anticipatory anxiety
2. the felt sensation: full, front body contraction
3. the new name: effervescence

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CP Time

I often feel overwhelmed — by my workload and if I can do a good job, by my health issues, by financial issues. It feels like a piling up of problems and then I shut down.

The physical feeling is a tightening in my chest, a hollow feeling of dread in my stomach, and my mind races.

Because the feeling seems to originate in my chest — or at least that is where I feel it the most — I am going to call it Chesty Puller after the badass marine.

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KiKi L'Italien

1. I struggle with fear the most of any emotions and I attribute it to all sorts of things.

2. It feels like a heaviness that makes my stomach churn and feels kind of like motion sickness.

3. My nickname for it is now “Bully” because the emotion feels kind of like nausea, which is what the words “Bully” kind of sounds like…sort of pukey.

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Christina

I love this video. I have always struggled with public speaking and being the center of attention in anything I do. It has always affected the way I live my life.

My new name for it is popping because it feels like popcorn, popping inside of me. It starts out slow and then goes crazy. Uf I can ride it out, like Josh said, then it will eventually stop like popcorn stops popping and then I can enjoy the situation just like I would enjoy my popcorn.

Thank you so much!

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Amelie

That was a great episode (as usual…)! I found you two very touching and funny.

So, I have a big fear of speaking in front of an audience, watching people watching me! The energy feels like dizziness! Well, my nickname would be Tornado. “Ah, Tornado is back, let’s ride it!” It works for me! Thank you Josh for these precious advice.
I am grateful to you two.

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Rebecca

OMG. This was AMAZING. And seeing/hearing the love between you two made my heart sing. Ya, I’m using heart sing as my nickname of vibration of love!

Challenge: I want to overcome my anger! GRRR. 8-} I can honestly say, I don’t know what that feels like in my body… probably because I’m too much in my head at the time. So since I can’t nickname it yet…. I’ll wait until my next opportunity to FEEL it, so I can nickname it. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

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Josh Pais

Hi Rebecca
So, next time you feel those atoms start swirling, have fun with it. Know it is not bad – just a lot of energy. Breathe deep and let yourself be intimate with that sensation so that you break the pattern of running away from it.
Rock on!
Josh

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Jessica

Ohhh, Marie, Josh, and everyone. I hold on to some deep resentments, dislikes, I would even say hatreds for people who have hurt me in the past. I get a tight, swirling tingling in my stomach that makes me nauseous when I think of the people or past experiences.
I’m going to start calling this feeling swirly. It makes me feel swirly.
Ride the swirly, baby :)

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Ally Davis

fabulous video!!!!!
I am like Marion. I get anxiety before speaking. The vibes are in my solar plexus mostly. it feels like lightness, emptiness or hollowness…if it had a sound, it would be tinny, almost–gosh, it’s hard to put feelings to words. lol! I would nickname it angelbreath (omg, where did that come from).

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Danielle Holschuh

LOVE IT! Thanks for such usable advice Marie and Josh.

My feeling is anxiety when I have big things going on in my life where I am forced to show up and put myself out there. Whether it be visitors coming from out of town, a big show coming up, or just a ton on my to-do list.

I feel my anxiety in my skin! Tingling all over and once it starts, it is very hard to stop. SO…my new nickname from here on out is Prickly.

I love when Josh said to view it as Creative Fuel – brilliant!

Sending positive vibes to all of you.

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Ana K

Beautiful episode! My fear of public speaking is like a wild fur ball in my stomach. Hmm, I could call it Fluffy!
Thanks a lot!

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Hilarie

Sweet! And truly enlightening thinking. This was a fabulous video, thank-you so much.

My most common emotion: fear (usually of failure)
Sensation?: Crazy intense tightening in the chest plus raging flare up in my power center
Nickname?: That’s a tough one…will have to think on it!

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Hilarie

fire!!

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Cynthia Roden

This was a great episode. Loved hearing the story about Josh’s dad. What a great gift of insight to be given as a child. It’s so true how everything is vibrational.

I don’t have a problem with public speaking, it’s in smaller groups or networking events. I get very shy. The idea of just sinking into the feeling is beautiful. I have read of Bentinho Massara (www.free-awareness.com) speaking on this idea as it relates to other areas of our lives. It’s just not being afraid to really feel the fear or pain. The feelings do lessen over time.

Thank you Marie & Josh for sharing this.

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Bernie

Hi Marie and Josh

This is the first time I’ve seen you two together and it was amazing to watch . Thankyou . Great advice and so simple to remember. I’ve just started out as a coach and putting myself out there. I did a workshop on Saturday speaking in front of half a dozen women and we talked about vibration a lot , and I was wondering how to explain it further and TA Dah!! So I will refer to these notes and implement them with excitement next month! Love and light to you both . Bernie xx

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C. Anne Tipton

Thank you for this fantastic knowledge! I have had the pleasure of learning from Josh live at RHH Live and have forever been changed by that experience.

I get really nervous talking to strangers one on one. (I do fine speaking to groups, and well when I know someone- strangers just freak me out!) I go through two vibrations when I know I should be talking to people I don’t know- the first is like a lead weight is sitting in my stomach. The second, assuming I’m brave enough to actually start the conversation, is bubbly in my stomach.

I’m going to call the first one ‘My Rock’- and reframe it as an anchor keeping me grounded and present.

I’m going to borrow the term Marie used in the video for the second one and call it ‘champagne bubbles.’

I’m looking forward to inviting in My Rock and champagne bubbles the next time I meet someone new!

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Monica Lee

Oh I am glad you are all right. Still I pray pray for your aches and your pup who might not cope the same way humans do.

So! Assignment: Frustration which used to be shame so I am moving up in the world. I have gotten a handle this past year on my biz and I have some paths to choose in front of me. I am not freaked just need to shake it off-it’s like a icky nat. (Naming it cheeky) I am Cheeky that I cannot see clearly where to head and that I know having too many paths and too much on your plate can lead to burn out. So I will commit to be peaceful in my cheeky fog. Wow, fun exercise. Did I do it right?

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Josh Pais

Hi Monica Lee
Here’s something to experiment with…
Take a deep slow breath, feel the sensation in your body, and let yourself slow down. For some of us slowing down about 20% allows us to welcome all our sensations, and reduces the pressure inside our skull ( literally) so that we can make decisions by listening to our hearts.
Give it a shot.
Josh

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Wendie Tobin

Emotion that I Sometimes Catch Myself Trying to Suppress (even though I know it’s a fruitless mission): Sadness

What it Feels Like When I Try to Silence my Little Friend: a tourniquet twisting tighter and tighter in the area where my gallbladder used to live. (How’s that for specificity?)

New Nickname: Melancholyflower? Caramellow? Just, no. I think I’m going with “Undercast.” I thought of the weather term “overcast” and decided I wanted to reinforce a word that was a reverse representation of that. Not to deny myself the feeling, but redefining DOES have a way of unblocking energy. Unblocked energy often minimizes the intensity of emotions that we sometimes would rather not feel at such a high volume.

I thought I was just some word-coining genius, coming up with “undercast,” but it IS, indeed, a legitimate term: an overcast layer of clouds seen from above. And, that’s exactly where I’d like to be with sadness. It has its place in my sphere; I just want to be on top of it.

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Angela-Renee

Marie,

My comment is more about the essence of the post. Loved Josh’s authenticity. I’m a scientist at heart and adored the story about his “Daddy”. The fact that he chose that term of endearment revealed his revernce for him. Also, how adorably vulnerable he is that he showed (and clearly stated) his love for you and that was so charming to see.. You are a fortunate woman. Not to mention, he can get down! Go Josh! I’m a fan of team Marie-Josh. (*.*)

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Andrea

WOW! Powerful episode today!

1). I have a difficult time closing the deal and often feel nervous approaching the subject.
2). It gives me a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. At first it feels like I swallowed a rock and it lands hard in my stomach with a “thump” and then it swirls and bounces it around a bit.
3). I’m going to name it Rocky – and now I will embrace Rocky and just see where it goes!

Thank you for this video Marie and Josh! Really got me to think differently about my emotions.

PS – You have a beautiful love for one another that is so sweet to watch. Thank you for sharing it with us all :)

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Angela-Renee

*reverence (typo)

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Candice

You guys are the cutest couple ever!!

My sensation/emotion is anxiety (public speaking, financial fears, etc)

The vibration is crackling nerve endings and cold extremities.

I’m going to call it creezy. Crackling + Freezy. But not crazy… yet.

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susan

I love how the Universe is always conspiring on our behalf. I have my first two public speaking engagements this week and will be talking in front of 12 and then 200+ people. This could NOT have come at a better time for me. Sooo grateful!

the emotion or sensation I’d like to overcome is anxiety, nausea and having out of body experiences while I present!

The sensations feel like atoms gripping my throat and squeezing, like thumping bunny feet filled with excitement in my heart, and deep pulsating throbs in my stomach and tingling dark and light stars in my head.

Tony Robbins tells a story about how Bruce Springsteen gets extremely nervous every time he gets ready to go out on stage and rather than describing it as being on the verge of a breakdown, he said it makes him feel alive and knows that he’s doing what he’s meant to do. I had forgotten about that story until now. My nickname for this feeling I’m having about public speaking is now BRUCE and before I walk out on the stage, I’m going to claim myself as SHAZAM!

love it!! Thank you so much!!! I’m going to download Josh’s audio file and listen to it on my drive to work today. Woo hooo! I can do this!!!

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Alice Wilcox

OMG!!! This has been my challenge forever!! I love teaching and sharing in my career and personal life, but expanding out to larger audiences has always escaped me and intimidated me. The FEAR has always made me FEEL constricted in the chest and rapid heatbeating, like it’s choking me!!! Hate it!!! But today the message was loud and clear and brought to me in such an “AHA”– I got this!!! I haven’t thought of anything I can identify with better than SHAZAMMM, SO SHAZAMMMMM it is!!!! I love you Marie, thank you for bringing this life changing information to us , you rock!!!!!

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Kathie

What a fantastic reminder to get out of our heads! Thank you Marie and Josh. I often find myself noticing the fullness of energy in my body before I go on stage to speak. What I recognize now is that in part it is my own energy charging me for the presentation…combined with the energy I’m picking up on from the audience. Often now I notice how quiet the audience is and I notice the feeling of love and recognition I get when I connect with their eyes. The more I do this the more I see it as magical science. Thank you for reminding me of who I really am….atoms. Beautiful.

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Maia

Reframe! What great advice.

The thing I need to get past is stage fright. I think I’ll call it being zapped. My atoms, freeze up and paralyze me in the middle of what I’m doing. When thas happens to me it’s usually followed with shame and regret for putting myself out there in the first place. I really want and need to overcome this because, I want to put myself out there! I don’t really consider myself to be shy, I’m great talking in small groups, or one on one with people and have been told I have a natural gift for relating to people… But somehow get me in front of a crowd and I’m paralyzed, like I’ve forgotten how to connect with people.

I really love the reframing it advice. I’m hoping I can get past it by acknowledging what’s happening, being sincere about it and changing how I perceive it.

Any other advice you can give on how to work through this would be so appreciated!

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Josh Pais

Hi Maia
Well, “being zapped” doesn’t sound like the sweetest rename. How about I’m feeling “Zippity?”
Here’s the thing – the result of NOT feeling Zippity is what causes things to freeze up. and that is followed by shame and regret.
I would suggest really slowing down when you start to feel the big Z, and hang with it. Yup, the first 5 times you do this it’ll be a lotta sensation. But the more you can welcome Zip, the less it will get in your way.
You know if you’ve gotten to feeling locked and then thoughts of shame that you have automatically avoided the sensation. So, then go back to your body – feel it – and you will be present and unstoppable.
Practice.
:)
Best
Josh

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Maia

Thanks so much for that Josh!
I agree Zippity is better ;). Reading everyone’s responses in addition to the video I’m starting to get it’s a process. I never thought I could really control it before. This is really empowering!

Maia

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Genevieve

I loved this video! Loved meeting Josh as well! I’ve had to speak in public quite a few times while working on my graduate thesis. I attended several conferences where I had to present sections of my work. I used to get really nervous the day leading up to the conference and then get this huge bolt of crazy nervous energy in the minutes prior to my stepping up to podium. I see how it could have been totally crippling but somehow, my body used it instead to fuel me during my presentations and it was really afterwards that I felt the “after shocks” of having reached such high levels of nervousness. My hands would shake and I had dry mouth…put I was so energized and would then want to repeat the experience because of the high it created.

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Karla T. from BellyButtonBoutique.com

1. Annoyance – I know that I am busy, but yet I take on helping “friends” who ultimately waste my time. ex. “Help me start my biz”

2. It makes me feel nauseated and panicky

3. Name: The Cray Cray

I know that I need to start with saying, “no”. So whenever I start feeling “The Cray Cray” I am going to realize it, ride it out, and just tell people that I am too overwhelmed now to help, offer a quick tip, and move along.

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Adena

Hey Marie and everyone else! :) Its interesting that this video popped up today for me to watch in Youtube. I have a big interview tomorrow which is making me nervous. It gives me a tightness in my chest and my heart beats faster. I’ve decided to call this vibration “Skippy” (i have no idea why, it just popped in my head!) and I am going to make the effort to so hello to him before my interview, because I KNOW he will want to drop by, and invite him to come with me to the interview. :)

Your comment on how when we try not to be nervous in front of people and how peoples BS meter picks up on that really stuck me. I have found myself trying not to be nervous and inside even i’m thinking “you sound fake, this isn’t you!”. Eventually I calm down and let it flow and that fear aka Skippy leaves the party.

Thanks Marie for making this timely video for moi and everyone else….I will let ya know how it goes and hopefully I get promoted! No wait….I will get promoted! Why wouldn’t they want a chick like me? :)

Have a great week!

“You can’t teach passion” – unknown

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Erin Blackwell

1. You guys are so cute. 2. Liev Schreiber and Jon Voight?! Can;t wait to watch! 3. What a unique way to look at our feelings. Very fascinating!

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Aayaan Vohra

Hi Marie

Thanks for this awesome Video.
I think “27 minutes audio” link is broken :)

Aayaan

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Aayaan Vohra

Oops.. The link is working now.. Sorry :)

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Katie Payne

This video was so helpful!! Here’s my answer to the challenge:

For a few months now, I’ve been studying for the most important test I’ve ever taken; the MCAT. I take the test next month but I’ve been struggling with the same terrible feeling every time sit down to study. I think it’s a mixture of fear, anxiety, and nervousness. I feel this pit in my stomach. It pulls my shoulders down and takes my lovely smile away. It’s mean, scary, and it never disappoints; it’s there ALL the time.
As test day is approaching, it’s growing even bigger. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to focus on studying because I have to deal with this strange heavy emotion. I even get to thinking maybe I won’t survive as a doctor if I can’t learn to handle emotions like these because after all, these situations will only get worse.
I’m not quite sure what ‘society’ would call it, but I’m going to call it Frankie. Every time Frankie arrives, I’m going to party with him until the feeling subsides so I can get over it and hit the books!

Thanks so much!

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Nathalie Gregg

Awesome! Thank you so much for that video. Naming it was powerful for me.

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Rhonda Berlino

1- This afternoon (after i get thru my morning presentstion of course)I’m sitting at a Round Table with the US TREASURY and Senators, the Mayor of Las Vegas and I’m not sure why I’m there vs others. I arranged Round Table in August, but am best at being a conduit for resources …not SME (subject matter expert)…I’m basically doubting my value at this table
2- Atoms are making me nauseated and my brain wants to shut Down as my body runs my ass away…fight or flight
3- what’s next? My name…of course, the amazing Einsteinette, I’ll let you know how I do after the ride as the amazing Einsteinette (it’s feeling like a circus ride at the moment..hoping I don’t just lose it all mid ride as the change falls out of my purse! Thanks for the plan you two..ima dance it out soon as I survive it.

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Monika

Hi Marie, I’m a professional musician so desperate for a steady job in an orchestra. In auditions I get past the first round often but then in the second round something happens and I stuff up or feel that I’m too nervous to give everything of myself and to just GO FOR IT! It’s hard to describe but it’s almost like some part of me is putting on the breaks as it’s simply too afraid to just show myself. ( for fear of failure of course)
I’m doing and have done a lot of mental preparation, meditation, hypnosis and all that sort of stuff but would really just like to be able to go out there and give EVERYTHING and be convinced that I AM the person for the job. Any suggestions? Thanks, Monika

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Josh Pais

Hi Monika
What you are going through is very common – and with a little practice – easy to overcome.
First know that the more you put yourself out there – be assured that you will feel more body sensations. That’s just how it is – and that is not a bad thing!
I would give up all the mental preparation, hypnosis and all that stuff – as you put it.
Instead I would practice the 4 keys to being present.
(get them here for free: http://committedimpulse.com/get-lesson-now/ ).
Then I would practice staying present long before your ‘call back’. Then when that increase in sensation occurs, you will just party with it – and not hide the sensations and your brilliance.
Suggestion: Make your goal to offer your artistry, your truth, while having fun, as opposed to convincing yourself you are the person for the job.
The people hiring you want YOU – they don’t want to watch you convincing yourself you are the one. (Cuz you already are:).
Best
Josh

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Mari-Ann

So what if the sensation is a dull, tired, heavy and numb.
I know what it is about – procrastination and feeling overwhelmed so that I don’t get out in the world with my gift.
How do you ride on that!

I am in B-School – great work Marie!

BR
Mari-Ann

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Mari-Ann

And the wired thing, I love to be public speaking or hold a workshop!

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Erica Leach

Wow- these are great tips for myself. I have ALWAYS feared speaking in groups, or even performing in front of a camera or people I dont know well.
My Vibe’s nickname is now “BAM!” Now that I understand my vibes are essentially my creative fuel, I am actually looking forward to embracing it at my next speaking opportunity! Thanks Marie and thanks sooo much Josh!

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Monique

Dear Marie,

It is sooo beautiful and well explained. Now I understand where your secret weapon comes from.

Thanks alot Marie, and heal well __kissess__

Monique

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Kat Morrissette

Thanks so much for this video. It’s a great technique to get away from labeling your feelings good and bad and just being with them. I also love the naming aspect, which can make uncomfortable emotions not so scary…. my nervousness just got reframed as *sparkles*, which makes me laugh and is fun.

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Libbie

love this video thank you so much to you both its definately worth a go. I have yet to speak in public but am determined to get over my throat closing up with nerves any suggestions?

Thank you Maria and Josh

Blessings libbie x

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Josh Pais

Hi Libbie
Know that your throat closing up is the result of having a low tolerance for a certain sensation.
So, instead of being determined to get over your throat closing – be determined to stay with whatever sensation occurs – and I’ll betcha that throat will stay open. Be brave. And after practicing this 3 or 4 times you’re going to notice a huge shift.
Best
Josh

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Niight

Hey Marie! Glad you’re feeling better:) Also wanted to let you know I finally read The War of Art, it was great but really connected with the last quarter of the book.
The feeling that gets me is lack of respect. I feel like rage coming out of my chest like a fire breathing dragon. I’m going to call this jamn, like “we be jamn” it makes me smile :)

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Leila

Loved it! So much good in this episode. Love and respect and vibrashonz!!
Marie, your man sure can boogie on down!
So lovely to watch your happiness and both of you walk your talk; the most inspiring thing of all.
xxx

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Dylan Glanzer

I love Marie TV and today was the perfect thing I needed to hear.

First, thank you Josh for your comment about “Centered.” I have always loved those moments when I felt what I thought was a “good” centered and when I am not there, I feel “wrong” somehow. I am first goint to reframe that “Centered is wherever you are truthfully at that time.” A total WOW!

How cute are you two?? BTW

So for the assignment:
What I have always wanted to overcome is that heart pounding, vibrating at tectonic levels in the center of my body that throws me “off my game” when I am speaking in front of people. It comes on suddenly and unexpectedly to make me forget what I want to say, so we will call her “The Generator” so I can try reframing it to a positive sensation instead of negative. Maybe I can use it to prep my engine to work for me not against me. Thanks for the inspiration!

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Michelle Gillette

Hey Marie:

Loved that! I often think of our atoms like those little pixel dots on a TV screen when you first turn it on…. fuzzy…fuzzy then GEL!
When I’m in fear my atoms get all frenetic and act like spastic sperm (or fireworks, for those who prefer a less bodily, more PC visual.) I shush them by breathing deeply…taking a moment to step out of the fear, and observe myself as if I’m watching a movie. My little “mind-movie” can often be exactly what I need to gain more objectivity…. (I know I’m NOT being objective, if my little mind-movie turns into a scary-ass sequel, and then it’s time to try again.) …It’s a practice. ;)

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Mary Beth

The fear I would like to overcome is one of abandonment. I am afraid to speak at all to anyone other than my young child so I only speak what I need to survive the rest of the time I am alone. It feels as if someone is standing there with an ax ready to kill me — that if I speak I will die. My throat closes up and I feel dizzy. I feel suffocated and cannot breathe easily. I feel dizzy. My body cannot move and shakes

I am not sure about partying with this! But I’ll go along and call it peppy.

How do you party with these vibrations that make you mute?

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Josh Pais

Hiya Mary Beth
The first step is to really explore what your experience of abandonment actually is.
I suspect this is what happens…
1.) You experience a sensation you don’t like.
2.) You try to get rid of that sensation.
3.) You cut yourself off from your body in order not to feel this sensation. As a result your attention automatically goes to your thoughts.
4.) You go through a series of thoughts( that are always pretty much the same). The theme of the thoughts are abandonment related.
And that is what you call experiencing “abandonment.”
So, if that is at all accurate – what i suggest is to break the cycle by hanging out with the body sensation. Be intimate with it. Welcome it – even if it is a bit unpleasant initially. Breathe, see what is in front of you – and if you start your abandonment thoughts say I’M BACK – and return to your body, again breathe deep and see what is in front of you.
Practice. Have fun. And in this moment you are not in any way abandoned. Know that abandonment starts in your thoughts – say I’m BACK.
Big Hug
Josh

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Swathimaa

Very cute to watch you both. Having been super freaked out about speaking when I first started teaching, I can totally relate. I guess it’s all about getting out of your head, and into the present moment.

Thank you, I love the exercises, and I hope to remind myself that I’m just a vibrator next time I found myself anxious.

My vibey sensation: feeling very self-conscious until it turns into panic or disconnection with my environment. My awareness feels trapped inside my head, paralyzed thoughts, blankness, and a sensation of tightness in my chest area, shallow breathing, a pounding heart.

You know, i think i’ll nickname it: Fahrvergnügen :)

Thanks for this, always a pleasure watching your videos.

happy vibes from Bali,
Swathimaa

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Mahelva

1. Fear of being “attacked” or “crushed” by criticism. It’s not the criticism itself I fear, that I can handle, but the attack of someone publicly discharging all of me, my ideas and everything I stand for without the possibility do defend myself. I know I’ve got some good stuff going on here and I can defend it, but the fear of the attack makes me feel like I can’t.
2. Like there’s an inescapable fullness of force coming at me. Like the wind.
3. I feel “rufsig”, a Swedish word for having messy hair, messed up by the wind. I can live with that. I can live a fun, exciting, “rufsig” life where my hair might get messy but by feet stand firmly on the ground.

Thank you Josh and Marie! <3

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Alyssa

Looooooove it! Superb episode guys. I actually think I sometimes get too excited and would like to “overcome” this. ( I’m having second thoughts about that after watching ths episode though:) ) it feels like this bubbling in my upper chest that wells up into my throat, pops out of my mouth and sends me into chatty hyper witty woman mode! I’m gonna name this “the shizzzz”… And own it. I own my shizzzzzzz!

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Aura Carr

So glad to hear that you are fine. Aura

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Megan

Hi! Thanks for all that you do. This was a great video.

I’m an actress/ Singer and sometimes when I’m not fully comfortable with a song I’m about to perform my breath goes away. I feel anxious and unable to take a full, deep breath– which is 100% necessary to be able to sing using your full lung capacity.

I understand channeling whatever vibrations your body is producing but also want to physically calm down.. suggestions?

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Supriya

Hey Marie (& Josh!)

Love, love LOVED this week’s show – particularly the owning not fighting one’s emotions thing – had a total lightbulb moment off of that bad boy.

So, to take your challenge this week – basically, if I go into a situation where I feel uncomfortable or nervous – say, meeting a new group of people for the first time, I go into Stand Up mode. Basically I get so anxious about making everyone else feel comfortable, I end up pretty much doing stand-up. And y’know – after 35yrs I’ve gotten pretty funny, not like bad-jokes guy in the office or whatever.
Thing is, I actually feel more comfortable as a wing-woman than centre stage, certainly don’t have the energy to be upbeat, laugh-a-minute the whole time (which I then end up feeling I have to be and I don’t know if it’s a British thing but folk here seem to really struggle with the concept that a person can have RANGE) – so I guess the feeling I need to address is the ickyness (or shyness) I feel meeting newbies and let myself feel that but not let the stand-up mode kick in and override it. Stand-up mode is frankly exhausting so definitely up for a new approach, thanks guys!

Love & Blessings from London, England

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Rocco

OMG! You guys are the absolute Cutest! Marie I almost fell off my chair when I saw your BF! I was a HUGE Sex and The City fan when it was on HBO and I remember your fiancé from Episode 2 season 1 The Modleizers! I am a Huge geek I know but that’s part of what makes me so cool ;)
Anyways I Love this weeks episode! The core of your discussion rides along one of the most important parts of living a success and purposeful life and that is vibrating with AUTHENTICITY. Loving and feeling every part of your existence is an amazing tool that can help improve your relationship with yourself and everyone around you which, in turn can make some of your most Amazing dreams come into fruition. This is a key component in my coaching program at YourLifeIsAwesome.com come way hello :)

http://yourlifeisawesome.com/coaching/

I Love you guys!

Rocco

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Carla

Definitely fear is a big emotion for me. It’s something I deal with everyday. Makes my insides wobbly and my skin cold. Will call it fluffy and ride it out!!!!

I do have a question though. What about anger??
This is labelled as a bad emotion, especially when it can’t be surprised??
Does this method not apply to anger??

Would love to hear some feed back.

Thanks

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Jennifer Baldi

Sensation/Emotion: anxiety of speaking in front of large groups because they might be judging me.

Where these vibrating atoms live: my chest

Realizing now that it’s not about ME, I need to get my info to people because it’s important to them. So…..I’ll thank Me Me for coming and reminding Me that it’s not about Me!

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Diana Welvaert

Ok.. Marie and Josh..

Mine is simply intense emotion.. if I try to get up and speak about how something has touched me deeply I end up in a puddle of emotion and tears .
Hmmm.. Name it.. ? Whooshy!. I dunno if that is even a name.. lol

I will get back to you on the effect. thanks so much, for sharing !. xo

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Mary E Thompson

I try to push away nervousness and anxiety. I don’t like being in front of people and prefer to stay in the background. B-school is showing me that I need to step out and step up and this video is perfect timing for me. I’ve been dragging my heels on recording my first video for my own website because I’m worried about how I will come across.
Since my nervousness to be is my heart beat slamming into my ears and chest, I’ve decided I’m going to call it that – and just say I feel slammin’! I think it works.
I love turning this around and embracing my nervousness instead of replacing it. Where were you guys when I was in high school?

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AmyRenee C.

My vibration: When I am being cut off mid-sentence and/or not being fully listened which leads into not feeling wanted/needed.

It feels like a fusion reaction. Everything collapses inward to a tiny point and then explodes! I feel very hot and prickly – my hands clenches into fists and teeth bite down. Then I feel like a child that does not know what to do.

Nickname: BamBam
I can visualize my release and let it go safely.

Thank you for sharing and doing all that you do.
Namaste

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rakel

Hey! this is so pertinent! THANKS JOSH and Marie!

I was having this feeling of overwhelmed this morning with so many thing to do…I was feeling my breath a bit stuck, a not very enjoyable tickling on the chest and stomach, and all of that related with the thought, GOSH there is so much to be done!
From now on I am calling this kind of feeling “bushy “, and just by acknowledging it I feel it becomes relative, and it looses its power over me.

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Lisa

When having to speak in public I get all heated, like heat rising from my chest and dizzy. So I’m going to rename it “percolating”.. I’m percolating.. :) Great vid Marie and Josh!

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Carla

That was meant to be suppressed not surprised!!

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Eimear

Thanks for another great episode! And for making me do this assignment, it really made me think about my shyness.

Just before I present I feel breathless, my heart is breathing overtime and the minute I start talking my face goes red. I’ve just realised it’s a similar feeling to when I’ve just finished a run.

When I present I do so passionately and with lots of energy and when I run I give it my all.

So I think it’s the feeling of cortisol rushing into my system. So I’m going to nick name this feeling ‘solly’, as in corti-’solly’! ;)

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Linda

Hi Marie,

I love your videos. I am so happy that you created a video on fear.

I am a very “shy” person and find it to be such an impediment in my life in so many areas, but mostly in my career. I have always thought of fear/shyness as a trait of mine to be ashamed of and conquered. I have never really reframed it, as Josh explained, as just energy – not good or bad, just energy. I am going to try this and I thank you for such an interesting and insightful video.

When I get very nervous, I feel a tightness in my back, pressure in my throat, tingling in my hands and it feels like little gum balls (?) are ricocheting off my stomach walls… Lol.

I am going to rename these feelings “Harold”…that’s what came to mind, weird I know. Kind of like an initially unwelcome guest that you just need to get to know before you see their true value.

Thanks again for your video Marie and Josh :)

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carol sloan

Hi Marie and Joshie!
Love, love this video (esp the dancing!), so many great tid-bits of learning in it.
I am a workshop leader & teacher at art retreats (and small classes) so I do a lot of “public” speaking – just in a more relaxed setting. But I still get nervous every single time I stand up to start a workshop or class. It manifests itself as a tightening in my chest, my throat closes up a little bit, my tummy gets all jittery and sometimes my hands shake. It usually only lasts a few minutes (seems like hours though) and I hate starting my class that way! I don’t even remember what I say after it’s passed. But no one looks at me too odd so I must make a little sense.
I’ll name it my “gremlins” and deal with it in the way that Josh suggests.
I do believe that it is all a vibration of energy. We just have to learn to go with the flow of it.
Thanks so much the all of the Q&A videos and loved seeing you and Josh on the screen together!
carol

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Kemi

Marie!

Thank you for posting this video. I can relate 100%. I have struggled with nervousness while mainly public speaking but it has also crept up on me while in more intimate interviews and group settings.

My vibration is nickname is vibrotia because my voice and body litterally vibrate so when I speak i sound like I am about to cry. I recently got ky MBA and I was known amongst my classmates as a liability for group projects because of my public speaking. People are often perplexed because I work really well with people one-on-one or in small groups for the most part but when I am thr center of attention in front of a larger group and vibrotia comes out.

I have tried many techniques, including being funny which has helped but my problem is when it is time to get serious and be truly myself with no funny or performanfe filter ti hide behind it
turns into vibrotia time.

Although it is great to accept vibrotia for what she is, I feel like I get negatively judged by those I am speaking to because of her. How do I overcome that?

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Mary

1) I want to overcome the stage fright I’ve had all my life when it comes to singing/playing my guitar in public. I am actually… pretty good, but I’m too shy so I hide it and have done so all my life with little spurts of trying to perform.
2) When I get ready to go play somewhere or someone at my house asks me to play my body feels ill. My stomach feels like it’s in a bunch of knots, my hands shake, my heart rate shoots up and I feel like I could cry.
3) I’m calling it “Lovey”. :) So next week, I’m going to shoot to sing at an open mic while feeling Lovey. Lol.

Thanks for this video – it was such amazing timing.

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Leigh Ann

Josh and Marie,

I enjoyed your video. As one who has spent a lifetime trying to “figure out” what things mean, this ‘resonates’ (pardon the pun) with all that I believe about how we human beings work. My feeling is fear which is different at different times but often appears as a deep heaviness in my abdomen. The worry is that ‘riding it not hiding it’ will bring an uncontrolled response….and, don’t you know, uncontrolled is well, uncontrolled :-). Think I’ll nickname it ‘chocolate brownie’…also a heavy object which I very much enjoy.:-) Thank you for the reframe!

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Anja

When I am speaking for a group larger than 15, I feel like I just came “off the boat” from Holland, and I don’t know the right words, and I have a strong Dutch slurr. I would describe the feelling as if my brain cells are leaking and scrambled, and what I know is lost. But I like the idea of partying with it, and if I were in the audience to listen and watch me I would probably think it is charming.

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Mary Beth

Thank you Josh for sharing your insight on fear! This is an incredible way to think about it, thanks Josh’s Dad! I have struggled with public speaking and this short video will be very helpful. Thanks again…:)

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Keri

Ride it, Don’t Hide it!! OMG–YES!!! I found this so liberating! Such a beautiful reminder of the shifts that happen when we choose to go WITH the flow instead of against it–so gentle, compassionate, and reality-based. Always a win-win!
Thanks for rockin’ my world…again!
xo

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Nema

Thanks to both of you. Watching this episode was such a good reminder. When I am in there a love to let my body shake and say: I am so aaaalllllllliiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvveeeeeeee :-) But a name is kind of a good thing. There isn’t any just coming up right now, but it will come. A name is always a more personal way to communicate and be in relation with something or someone.

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Lesley Ridge

Even when I’m totally prepared, I still get what I imagine hot flashes to feel like…my face feels like it’s turning beet red, flushed, followed by getting a frog in my throat where I start to choke on the words I’m trying to say. Then sometimes, if it’s really bad, my hands get sweaty and shake, like I just chugged my ninth cup of coffee. All of it sounds like a crotchety old lady so I think I’ll call mine Old Maid.

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Erica Duncan

LOVE this! I love the concept of feeling my emotions fully whatever they might be – sadness, anger, fear, happiness. I think I suppress so much when I should be embracing what I feel. It’s what makes me, me, atoms and all.

So the emotion I feel the most is when I’m criticized. I hate being called out for things when I make mistakes or when people have a negative reaction towards me. I automatically lose my appetite. If I’m eating something, I can literally feel my stomach and throat closing.

So I’m nicknaming that emotion Twiggy given if I felt that way all the time, I’d be like Twiggy, lol!

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Shannon Lagasse

1) Emotion/Sensation I’d like to overcome: Fear/jitters

2) I get a lump in my throat, my body gets really light, and I get all this energy – I can’t stop bouncing my leg, tapping my foot, or shaking my hands!

3) Name: Passion/Truth! I feel the same way when something is really true for me: my body shakes. What a connection! I can’t believe I’m JUST realizing this!

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orly ohebsion

marie and josh,
so glad you guys are ok.
when i feel nervous at facing a situation the physical is always the same dry mouth and nausea. i try to have water with me and realize that i often feel this way when people have disappointed me and i need to call them on it. being authentic is very important to me and letting people know that i expect more and that when they give their word they need to deliver is one way i am being true to myself and what i deserve.
i guess i will call this state of being crackers, they help with nausea:)
thanks for another great episode and for your authenticity!
i guess i would call it the

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Monique

I get really nervous when I first get up to speak in public. It does go away after I’ve been talking for a while adn I really enjoy public speaking when I feel that I have something to say, but it really vibrates me. I tremble from head to toe. I feel that if I didn’t breathe it down, my whole body would shake so hard and I would take off like a rocket. I think I’ll nickname it Take-off. LOL

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Erica Wiley

Awesome video today, thanks!

Before I give presentations I get two vibrations, sounds ridiculous, but I feel as if my chest is being filled with helium and it creates a wave ripple sensation that works upward to my throat.

Actually, I love to snowboard and I get the same vibes when doing a new run… or when on a roller coaster. Guess I’ll call it “thrilling” :)

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Chandi

1. I feel shyness and fear of saying the wrong thing in public and looking foolish
2. It feels like a lack of breath in my chest, like the air has been sucked out of me.
3. I’m going to embrace this vibration and call it SQUIGGLES. I love you, SQUIGGLES! You’re so cute! You’re so cute! Smoochies.

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Amy

I am from a family of hard-nosed Germans but am a soft-hearted person myself. My family is always telling me to toughen up but I realize that it is my deep sense of compassion that allows me to see others who are often ignored. I get anxious when I try to be this person that others want me to be, and my chest begins to vibrate in a way that makes me think I will keel over! I think it is my deep sense of compassion that will allow me to build a business helping women like me, divorced and in transition, build healthy, independent lives doing what they love for the people they love.

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Stevie

Thanks Marie & Josh

I have never done public speaking to an audience, but when put on the spot, even with a few friends and when I am talking about something that I am passionate about, I find my chest bubbles up almost like champagne bubbles rising and it feels like I am about to burst, it is only when I am passionate, so I would probably explain this to my audience, I would probably call it fizzle, so I would say I’m having a fizzle attack, which would make me laugh and hopefully the audience. Life is too short to worry too much over such things for long so it is all fizzleoutable…yeah

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Jade

Cool episode Marie! You two are a great match!
That’s interesting about the atoms. I agree that our head does way too much diagnosing for the rest of the body!

The feeling I am struggling with now is being extremely tired/fatigued.
The sensation is like the tide, flowing back and forth each time pulling down on me.

I will nick name this sensation “the tides”

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Annabeth McNamara

I am a musician and my least-favorite feeling is anxiety. I’m heading overseas to work on a crazy-awesome project, and the feeling has gotten so bad that I’m grinding my teeth to death in the night. I dreamt about the feeling last night and it’s like a full-body tensing that happens multiple times a second. Like I’m kind of shaking to avoid getting hit as a target, and to grind my way through a wall to escape the “attack” I feel could be coming when I go overseas and things aren’t all ironed out.
The feeling could be called zingazinga. Like a zebra on the safari, it’s time to run, but I’m frozen like a deer in the headlights.
Now that I mention it, I would be running around New York getting prepared, but I don’t feel like I have the money and resources to do what I need to in order to feel fully prepared and satisfied before I go:
that is, get supplements to support my travel, get all the equipment and costuming and makeup I need, get some supportive voice lessons…
Hmm, all this is food for thought, my dear friend zingazinga the zebra…
Thanks Marie, you’re the best teacher out there!

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Gabrielle

Thank you so much to both of you, awsome video!!
Josh, please write a book on that subject, it would be fantastic and so helpful :)
I would buy it for sure!!

Gabrielle

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Louise - Team Forleo

Gabrielle,
Oooh, so much of this goodness is in the online program- it’s amazing!

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Teresa

I love you both.
Thank you for this super vid!
It’s my new favorite.

1. Fear of being laughed at or judged, doing videos actually. Yesterday, I actually went for it and did a short vid on youtube. But, I’m still wondering if I’m being laughed at…..and I realized I’m actually judging myself….aha!!!
2. Sensation is heaviness in my chest, like I can’t breath.
3. Nickname: “Peppa” said with New Orleans accent….because Cayenne Peppa has a bite to it, and it gets our attention immediately. :)

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Amyli McDaniel

Wow- it is comforting to see that so many people share my anxiety of public speaking. I have almost been ashamed of this fear because I am a business lawyer, start up investor, and a serial entrepreneur- always figured I was supposed to be a natural speaker, etc. Somehow I have managed to be all these things without having to do a lot of big group speaking.

But as I enter into this new stage of life- doing my life work of helping others live more meaningful lives – powered by lifestyle entrepreneurship, the MISSION is becoming the CREATIVE FUEL and by focusing on service and mission over fear, it helps greatly.

Thanks Maria and Josh for the tips- very helpful to have practical exercises to manage the nerves.

Amyli McDaniel
Founder, ParentEntrepreneurs.com

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Lena

Great video, I loved to “meet” Josh :)

My sensation is shyness, I think my atoms are spinning and shaking and pounding. My nickname is swishy, I got inspired on the comment before by Diana :D

Thanks so much for sharing this, I really truly loved it!

xo

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amy

Holy crap Marie! I loved this video! I love what I do and I am the director of teacher training and a yoga teacher at my studio, Starseed Yoga & Wellness. From the time I became a teacher, teaching yoga chokes me ( although I have been a teacher in so many other aspects of a professional job) because it means so very much to me and is personal. Each week (even today) I fret on what is my message, what do I say, do they really care what I have to say. One of my teachers long ago gave me great guidance to pray and ask for the download and that has worked wonders but it doesn’t take away my fear. I want to share something worthy to take away and so I search and search for perfect words but what I found is that if I tell my own story, everyone perks up. My own name for myself is Aumiah–that brings in the Aum of yoga and that girl rocks me down to be present and more relaxed. I find that bringing in Aumiah let’s me have open space to forget me and care about others.

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Kira Muchnik

I adore you both! I love all MarieTV but this has got to be one of my faves! I am a dancer and an actor and watching this I realized that I do put myself down for feeling shy, never realized that before!! I’ll be shazammin’ from now on, and feeling cool with it.

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Nathalie Villeneuve

Hi Marie, Great share…very powerful, inspiring and inviting!

1. Q; First, tell us an emotion or sensation you’d like to overcome.
A: An emotion I’d like to overcome is when I “close up” to when someone gives me positive criticism. I take it personal and full of doubt.
2. Q: Then, describe that emotion or sensation in terms of vibrating atoms. Are those atoms bouncing, stretching, pulsing, spinning, heavy, light or something else?
A: I would describe the atoms bouncing with a heavyness that get to the top of my head and keeps me from keeping cool…It’s like I start a new discussion with myself and stop listening to the person giving me advise…
3. Q: Finally, nickname your vibes and commit to party with them! Of course, if there’s anything else you’d like to share in the comments — go for it.
A: OK…I will nickname my vibe: kirmee

All right…I commit to party with Kirmee …Yep, I like that…LOL…Getting Kirme with it

Thank you Marie and Josh ;)

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Meagan

LOVE THIS! Love the fact that you work together so well and encourage each other. Reminds me of me and my man :). Such great advice. I know this method is going to be a huge shift for me when I’m teaching big classes or just speaking in meetings in front of my colleagues in sales meetings. Thank you for sharing!

ps: Josh, I knew I recognized your voice and your a famous actor BUT couldn’t place why it was so familiar. Did a little imdb search and BOOM there it was…Sex and the City. One of my fav episodes! Good work :)

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Gerald Janssen

Hi,
Lot’s of shyness history with things like learning the Gettysburg address by heart when I was eleven and getting to deliver it to the assembled classes in my elementary school; and running off the stage!! I have worked at this situation through the years with acting classes and other things, and do not run off stages now, but this observation of vibrations and embracing shyness as something okay or even good, is music to my ears as I need to use many strategies to keep these demons at bay. My vibrations are right in my gut or solar plexus with heart poundings and a cold hollowness in my chest. There is some sensation connected to all the faces looking at me also as a kind or awareness of the thoughts from those watching and that being too much to take in. You know as I write this I just had the thought that I always want to shut down or not show up run away because the sensation of my mere presence, let alone doing anything is causing the vibrations from the watchers to appear menacing to me. There’s something in that…Hmmm…Thank you so much for that insight! I’m going to nickname my sensation: “solar-plexi” and make every attempt to make this shyness thing a more acceptable personal quality.

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Steffi Retzlaff

My sensation is anxiety. It makes my heart vibrate, my knees weak and breathing shallow and my head spin. From now on it shall be nick-named: karfuffle. I’ll ride my karfuffle and will sense my atoms for 7-12 seconds. FULLY. Thanks Marie and Josh (I am currently in B-School- thanks a million for that, too. Josh: you gonna see me in New York for your trainings. Need to get back to what I really love and am passionate about: acting, dancing and teaching)

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Jennifer Giuffre-Donohue

Loved this interview, so nice to meet your other half! I really loved what Josh had to say about being centered and that it’s not about trying to feel any different than how you’re vibrating at the time. That was an a-ha moment for me and a big shift in thinking for me. It’s so liberating to see it that way rather than thinking you need to change what you’re feeling and “calm down”. Thank you both!

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Kim

My emotion is nervousness to express my feelings to a lover.
It feels vulnerable of course, but really it makes me want to cry. It takes my breath away, makes my heart race, I feel jittery, I have fogginess in my head, I can’t remember what I want or need to say.

The atoms are uber jumpy and crashing into each other.

I’ll call it Woosh.

I’m feeling Woosh just thinking about it! Woosh

thanks for reframing me!

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Laurel

I AM NOT SHY. When I go to a meeting to show my product I am full of energy and excitement, but hoo boy, getting to make those calls to get the appointment, there’s where I get nervous. Even if the client says thank you for calling, call next week to set up an appointment, I am still nervous about making the call.
Fluttery, a sense of dullness,
I’ll name it Koosie. say hello, say let’s go, and make the call anyway.

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Lori V.

Wow! This goes right to the heart of the matter for me! I am a late-bloomer musician and my fear of people seeing me shake while I perform is what has really held me back. I have a lot of wonderful support, but it is truly exhausting trying to lasso all that anxiety! Josh’s advice was truly incredible and I think the most important piece was realizing my negative attitude toward the anxiety and seeing it as my enemy and also giving it a lot the power.

1-I would LOVE to overcome the intense anxiety I feel when performing like I want to run for the hills.

2-I literally shake like Katherine Hepburn and it’s hard to sing, play the guitar AND remember the words when all this anxiety and movement is going on–completely exhausting!

3-The name I would give all this drama is The Hepburns. I think I could hate it less if I gave it this name. I feel like I could joke about the situation more and diffuse it and help me to not treat it like life or death.

Thank you for the incredible video! I will watch it over and over–it was that helpful. Does Josh ever hold classes for performing artists where we shakers could have a “safe haven” to help us get over our fear? Something that I have thought about starting in the past, but would love to take a class from Josh if he had one.

Thank you, Marie!

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Marie Forleo

Josh teaches live classes Lori — just a few times a year (around shooting schedules) – all info on his site. They are amazing. Links above :)

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Lori V.

Marie–this is fantastic news! I can’t wait to check out info! Thank you so much! Josh seems like an amazing guy and the two of you are wonderful together. I have been married 18 years to the best friend I ever had and when it’s right–it’s magic. You and Josh have it! So glad you guys are ok.

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Pamela Morgan

This video was the best!!! I have been working on my realness factor w my cooking videos and have noticed that they are the best when I just tell a story and am real. Sometimes this so hard to do when I’m in the middle of making a dish. This video was amazing.
My fear feels like my heart is going to explode out of my chest!!!
I get nervous that I will forget the recipe or the ingredients or that I
will forget to do something that is important to the recipe. Or that I’ll mix words up.
What if I call this The Mumbo Jumbo and make it a dance?
I totally commit to riding it, not hiding it.
Thanks so much to you and Josh for this incredible info.
And I loved to see you both dancin it up together!!!

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Gabriel

Trying to break into a conversation with a group of people who all know each other, but don’t know me has always been a challenge. I would call it a feeling of being left out. The vibrations always feel like I’m shrinking away from the group, rather than rising to their level. I’ll nickname it PowWow. That way it’s no longer something something trying to keep me out, but rather something fun that I want to be a part of.

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Claire

LOVE LOVE LOVE this one… so simple and yet so effective..

ok so when things are not going to well for me I get this really kind of heavy sinking feeling right in the middle of my chest!..

I’m gonna call it “the slumpies” because it makes me sinky in to a slumpy ..

I will now just see that as energy vibrating, and redirect it to somewhere far more beneficial … like my brain so that I become more alert …. my eyes so that I see things differently …. my ears so I only hear positive messages. Go flo with the mojo ay? ( and I’m not even American! LOL!)

cx

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pve

I am calling my vibe “kramer” – like on Sienfeld and I need to harness and allow that vibe to bounce me and propel me forward rather than letting my little emotion squelch or silence me.
So my challlenge would be.
1. Squelch ( closing up -closterphobia)
2. Vibrate like elevator doors shutting
3. Kramer – need to let my Kramer out of the elevator and vibrate!
pve

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Nina

Hi Marie really enjoy your work I am 45 and come from an ethnic backgroubd one which prohibits women from being aurhentic and living there dreams. I lived as a supressed person all my life which manifested in disease and it wasn’t until I full healed and discovered that all my symptons were because I wasn’t the REAL ME. After many years of treatment I have healed mentally/physically. and feel awesome. Through my journey I have discovered my passion for media and wanting to help others expecially my tribe which is east indians or women of color. I love your work and I myself have done a lot of the work you speak of. Im not surw how to get started and share my gift with the world and help others heal. Please give me advice on how you got started ? I look forward to your reply. Love Nina

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Shirley Plant

The emotion I feel is fear and the sensation is shaking in my body. I can sometimes shake from head to toe, almost like an epileptic. The other sensation is a burning in my body mostly around my heart, which I sense as panic or fear. It feels like my heart is going to explode or it is bleeding into my chest cavity, I don’t necessarily have to be about to do anything, sometimes it just comes out of no where which tends to freak me out even more. If I was to think of it in terms of atoms, they would be vibrating together, hitting each other, in a closed space with no where to go, or that they are oozing out fire and heat. I am going to name the burning, The Love- here comes the LOVE- and the shaking The Knocker or the Rattler or The Hugga, sounds like a woodpecker peeking a tree…..
This morning I woke up with the burning around my heart and I tried to meditate around it, but it still was there, and I felt sick as well, so the next time I am going to ride it, feel it, ask it what it is trying to say to me, love it, embrace it and try to not feel as scared that something is wrong in my body or that I am getting sick again. Thanks for this great video Marie and Josh

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Bridget

Hi Marie and Josh,
I love the concept of not getting attached to the feeling, but just allowing it to be there. My vibratory sensation is heat as well. I can feel it creeping up and spreading throughout my entire body. It’s uncomfortable, but I’ve learned that it’s just the way I operate. This heat will actually physically show up and I can break out into full on HIVES! I’ve learned the only way to suppress the full on reaction is to ride it out. Like you said! I’ve had the experience of channeling this energy and using it to speak more authentically. When I ride it out, my body calms down and it goes away almost as quickly as it comes up. I’ll call it “Lava.”
Thanks for sharing.

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Karen Daniels

My emotion would be performance anxiety. Interestingly I’ve overcome the public speaking thing but this anxiety I experience, for instance as a current example, when I have to test in karate for the next belt level. (good timing on this – I’m testing this Friday – and even writing that I can feel the vibration setting in.) I feel stomach issues all the way down to intestinal issues and it starts days ahead of time (immodium time!)
I’m going to call it Peppy.
Peppy and me are gonna do a little performing on Friday.
Oy – I mean, thank you!

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karina clappison

Thank you both, perfect timing, and while listening i felt sooo much emotion with tears.
Am doing B school (loving it) and been so scared to even write comments, and my atoms/feelings I have tried’ to hide all my life.
This video has instigated a big leap of courage now for me and so desire to be able to engage with ya all so my vibration will call “abra cadabra karina :)

big hug thank ya’s all- love all your fun, cheek and buzz

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Deborah

Hi Marie & Josh:

Thank you so much for this video. My fear of public speaking is not just so much about the fear of the speaking, but the fear that no one will come or they will all be offended by what I have to say. I speak about nutrition and I so want to approach my child’s school to talk propose a talk about good nutrition for parents and also get the teachers on board with stopping all the snacks/treat/sugar in school. BUT everytime I think about doing it, I freeze and think 1) I will offend everyone 2) they won’t be interested 3) they’ll think I’m a crazy-sugar hating lady 4) no one will show up even if I do get up the courage to say something. I feel panicky and not worthy and my stomach gets upset and if I start to talk, my throat closes up.

As always, your videos, insights and encouragement are fantastic and I love them and YOU!

Deborah

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Deborah

Oh, and I have to come up with a name. I am going to call it Pollyanna. I think that I think people think I’m all – preachy and this is easy and all you have to do is this – which is so not the case.

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Shyla

Love this video. So helpful and so fun to see your buzzing vibrations together! I’m a major introvert, have always had a hard time speaking in public or small groups. I’ve taken courses and read books, and I swear this 10 min video was more helpful than all of that!

My fear is being judged. Which annoys me because who cares?! But hard to let go of.

The sensation is a complete heaviness in the chest and belly combined with almost a total limp feeling through the rest of the body. Almost like a total body paralysis.

Renaming it to my “pals”.

Thanks!

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Claudia Richey

Awesome challenge. Here goes:

1. Same for me, I wouldn’t call it shyness, more like terror when I even think about being in front of a group of people, be that in person, tele seminar, webinar, doesn’t matter. It horrifies me so much that I haven’t actually done it yet and I know it’s holding me back in my business. Hugely!

2. I’d say the champagne bubbles, just not in a happy way. Or ants all over me. I can’t eat. And that’s just thinking about it, not actually doing it.

3. I want to call it my Passion! Because I’m passionate about what I do and I need to get it out to more people. And because I get “passion ably” sick thinking about it. And hey, who wouldn’t like to say “Hey, I’ve got my passion” rather then “Um, I’m shy”?

Cheers, to all, let’s overcome this challenge together!

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Alexis!

This was an awesome and inspiring video- great way to start the day! The emotion I would like to overcome is being OVER excited. This might seem like something to embrace but when I vibe it, it can feel out of control, inauthentic, and just way too out of balance. This often happens in the middle of they day when I get really into my projects, business ideas, etc. and get really amped up. But my enthusiasm get out OUTTA CONTROL and then I have a difficult time calming down for phone calls, making decisions etc. I would name this vibe- crazycrazycraze. And for today, if I vibe it, i am going to embrace it/not fight it…I will get up and out of my desk chair and dance to some rad music instead! :) Thank you Marie and Josh for this awesome guidance and inspiration!

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Efthimia Deligiannidis

Great video. I am good at public speacking and tv shows too, but it is something I have cultivated over the years. It didn’t use to be like this at all.
Thank you for all the good work you people deliver!

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Suzi

Hi, This is great! I really needed to hear where Josh said that when we don’t act in the moment of emotion people sense we aren’t being our true selves. And it leads me to a question. How do you feel that emotion and still be professional about the emotions? That might sound like a silly question, but I’m really trying to visualize what that looks like blended together. I started two blogs, one for business and one for my creative side. My creative side did WAY better at attracting people than my business one and I can’t figure out what I’m missing. Any help is appreciated! Thank you.

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Josh Pais

Hi Suzi
Great question.
Here’s the interesting thing – when you practice staying connected to your truth ( body sensations) – even if you feel insecure or scared – YOU APPEAR CENTERED.
Really wild – but true.
It’s only when we try to hide and alter our truth that things come out messy.
And just to be clear, if you are feeling sad, for example, that doesn’t mean you have to actively show that emotion. It also doesn’t mean you are allowed to wallow in thoughts that support those sensations. Instead, if you stay connected to who you are talking to while breathing and feeling your body – you will be very powerful, focused, clear and engaging.
Clear?
Best
Josh

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Suzi

Josh, I appreciate your answering my question. It is clear to my brain, but experientially I’m still trying to see it, although you’re helping a lot! Thank you.
When I am writing for business, I do feel myself shut down, or hold my breath, which I’ve been known to do with other things that cause me fear. So I guess that’s what my atoms do when I have internet “stage fright”. Mine become super dense like a rock. Then I feel a build up in my body from the block.

A phrase I’ve been connecting with is, “You’ve got it girl!”

I’m definitely reflecting on this longer. The whole breathing thing is huge. Its no wonder I don’t pass out like a narcoleptic goat!

Thank you Josh! All the best to you and Marie. Have a great week.
Suzi

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Judy Griffin

1.Before I speak I feel a pressure in my body
2. It feel like atoms are ready to burst
3. The name that comes to mind makes me smile & laugh because you don’t here it often. I chose to name this sensation Bertha.

I am going to ride and not hide Bertha at my next speaking engagement. Thank you for teaching me this helpful challenge. I love it!

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Rachelle

Thank you for sharing Marie and Josh! I struggle with shyness every day and since I was little have forced myself out of my shell to experience life. I know I have to do it to enable myself to get out into the big bad world, but sometimes it feels kinda fake and I dislike myself for feeling like that. It’s a Catch-22.

My vibrations are a sick “bottoming out” feeling in the pit of my stomach, but from now on I’m going to call it my “rocket fuel”… “I got some rock fuel in my tummy and I’m ready to launch” :)

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Cathy

Right now my energy feels like almost flat waves I was wondering if I should find a way to stir the waters into a more familiar froth or literally find a beach and park there for a bit. You just taught me that being centered means to own wherever you are in the moment this teaching suggest that I do some form of the latter. Thanks. Marie it was fun so see your Josh. God Bless.

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Kar

Hi Marie!
I didn’t know you were in the hood! ( Venice) That is so cool! I can kind of relate about people driving through the alleys of Venice rather carelessly- my little girl likes to scooter up and down the streets and I always tell her to stop at the alleys because there might be a car coming that won’t stop… Even still We almost got run over once by some alley driving maniac and it scared me so bad now I only let her scooter on the “walk” streets or at the park or beach…It really pisses me off when people drive crazy around here with no respect for other drivers, kids, old ladies,pedestrians etc-this is Venice for god sake – it’s supposed to be peace lovin nirvana! Some of these people need to meditate and chill out( go smoke a bowl) before driving round here! Anyway I am glad you are okay! and thank you for the reminder to live gratefully and like every moment could be the last because one day it will be! <3

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Marie Forleo

OMG — I love you Kar. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. So glad that sweet little girl of yours is safe :)

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Linda S

Thank you so much for this information! I love that I am a vibrator! I equate this concept with Beyonce. She stated how when she was about to perform she turned into “Sasha Fierce”…..she explained she was very shy and still is but when performing….she was able to “Fully” ride the experience as Sasha Fierce and as you know she becomes amazing.
My shyness or fear when speaking in front of others is not feeling that I’m good enough. Afraid of what people would say. I start to become tongue tied and lose confidence. Lately I have felt these epiphanies…then this video of your talented fiancé Josh and what he has offered to help folks like me and the writer of the letter. It was like ‘BAM’…girl, you can do anything…so, my nickname for my vibe is “Sapphire” – My dear husband who passed from cancer two years ago…used to call me this. At first I was like, “why are you calling me Sapphire! Don’t you know that was a black women from back in the day that was meant in a degrading way”? But he said, “I call you Sapphire because you are a gem and you shine every time you walk into a room”. I was a mess after that…boohooing all over the place. So in remembrance of him, when I begin to speak I think about his words and hear his voice calling me “Sapphire”….then I know I can do anything.
Thank you so much! You will never know how this has propelled me forward to greatness!
Linda aka “Sapphire”

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Stacy Rust

I love everything about this video!! It brings me right back to our weekend in LA last year… you guys are both such incredible teachers. Every day I try to either stop by one of your websites or listen to a recording I have on my ipod of you, even if its just for a couple minutes, it helps me stay centered and clear.

Also, you two are just so sweet and good to each other, I love watching you be together – your “I love you’s” at the end brought me to tears. Your relationship is an inspiration, a very beautiful thing to watch.

(One more thing- I love that when you Google “Marie Forleo” one of the first things that pops up is “Marie Forleo age” haha you’re so young, beautiful and successful, people want to know how old you are, I love it.)

Thanks for this video- it will be added to my library of Marie & Josh wisdom

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Valerie McKnight

OMG, this was great! Love thinking of my nervousness for public speaking as creative fuel! I’ll work on coming up with a nickname. The feeling has always been a pounding in my chest that I feel is so loud that others can actually hear it! Crazy, huh? Just finished a great book called “Quiet” by Susan Cain and discovered I’m an introvert, who knew? So here’s to all us introverts riding out the energetic wave of shyness to share our wisdom with the world!

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Siegren & Ana

You guys are adorable!

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Victoria

My hardest feeling is that I’m just no good. It feels like someone is turning a screwdriver between my belly button and my diaphragm, making everything inside bunch up and struggle to work. I’ve been calling it shame, but that’s no good. Let me think…
(drum roll)
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you… Screwy!
I love that! It’s a name and a description all in one.
Thanks as ever.

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Andrea

Marie, thank you!
I watched it this morning with my 9 year old daughter who loved it! She describes it like this:
“I want to be an entertainer (signer or actor) or a model but I am bit shy. I feel nervousness a little and it feels like something heavy in my tummy. I loved your example of the Shazam….and so I am going to Shazam from now on…I would like to have Josh’s opinion on when I should start taking lessons to become a good actress. I already take piano and voice lessons and I love it.” Aleah (age 9)
So here you have it…Marie and Josh! We look forward to your comment.

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Josh Pais

Hi Andrea
First of all you and your daughter must check this out:
http://committedimpulse.com/an-elephant-is-sitting-on-my-chest/
A blog post I wrote about another 9 year old who felt like she had an elephant sitting on her chest.
And, I think it’d be great for your daughter to do some school plays. And if she wants acting classes – make sure they are fun and bring HER out. Many times people start working with me after having years of training that completely suppresses them into a technique.
I think the online program ( available on the CI website) would be a great thing for her. You can do it together. I sure wish I had this info at 9.
Have fun you two.
Best
Josh

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Andrea

Thanks Josh, we will check it out!

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Amy J

Great video and insight! I’m going to apply this to my next video blog, pitch, etc. Thank you!

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Vanessa Uybarreta

This is one of my favorite videos on Marie TV. As a bodywork practitioner (Myofascial release) I completely resonate with what Josh said His work is very inspiring and I am so glad he is putting this out there!!!!!

It takes so much energy to try and make yourself feel like you think you want to feel, instead of just being what you are. …..

Right now as I sit here I feel a sense of on edge-ness in my chest and solar plexus..it is slight.
The name would be a gutteral sound like: BRRRRRRRR or aaahaaaaaahh

You both are so cute together :) I can really feel the love between you!

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Rhonda

What a great episode. I enjoy watching and learning from all of them. Thanks for all your hard work. I will commit to “Shazamming” this week and beyond. I am excited.

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Katelin Mae

There’s a vibration that I LOVE transforming to make me feel more alive and more free. It’s hard to label this vibration with just one feeling, but more a combination of the following: reserved, shyness, fear of not being enough, and not feeling I’m significant. This vibration almost feels like a tightening and like I need to free myself, let myself loose and express myself. I notice when I’m in the tight vibration and I notice when I’m free. I would love to be free and full of life, daily and most of my life. This takes practice to make the transition at will, and then make the new vibration so strong that I start and end in that place each day. Thank you Marie and Josh for reframing how I look at this situation – I feel it helping already! And that really excites me!!

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Catherine Stein

What a great way of looking at emotions. It makes them seem almost random. Which is sometimes what they feel like.

Anxiety is my main emotion that causes shyness, and worrying about whatever I do or say, before and after. My chest tightens up and there are sort fluttering of feathers or tentacle whooshing around inside me. It makes me a little breathless and dizzy at the same time. My head starts to ring inside and I can’t focus on anything. I’ve already named it (something silly/comical that fits perfectly), and that’s a great first step.

Next time the old Jujubee vibration gets going (oops, gave my name away!) I’ll call it what is and let it come and go, because how many seconds was it that it will last (if I don’t fight it)? 11-17 seconds? Just knowing it will pass is a great relief going into it.

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Erin

I love this. I particularly love the bit about not keeping calm. I really didn’t like the recent “Keep calm and…” meme; I was like, if you aren’t calm, don’t be calm.

So the time when I get nervous is when I’m trying to be sexy or sensual. My chest tightens and it’s hard to breathe. So, my new nickname for it is luvva luvva, and I commit to riding it not hiding it.

Thank you for the great content!

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Ronja Venus Andersson | Orgasmitude.com

Luvva luvva – love it. Rock on Erin!

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Robin Hallett

YES nothing happens from a place of fear, you gotta break out that light sabre and get connected to source.

I LOVED this today! You all really rocked it like you meant it!

Hugs and love,

Robin

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Anasuya

First, I’d like to overcome the feeling of dread and hesitancy. Second, there is a tightness in my chest, lungs and throat, the energy is solid. Third, I would call this one Tighty Whitey.
Thank you for the whole experience, not just what you’re saying (which is awesome and really helpful), but for sharing you and your relationship with all of us.
Blessings to you both!

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Oscar Carter

My wife, Tina Redwood shared this post with me and I took a few minutes to watch your interview and am glad I did.

The emotion I would like to overcome is a feeling jealousy. It feels more like a uncomfortalbeness in the center of my body. (Interesting until I thought about your question, I understood it more to be a mind thing or thought). The vibration is again an uncomfortableness, feeling of being off center and not in control. I will name it zippie doo.

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Josh Pais

Hey Oscar
I can so relate.
That used to be my big one.
But, Committed Impulse worked for me.
The key is to stay with the sensations – and not go into the jealousy mind rant.
It’ll be uncomfortable the first few times you do this.
But know you are making new patterns in your way of being.
Stick with it and be an explorer of your sensations, and know that your wife only wants to be with you (that’s why she suggested the video), and that practice will undo all this.
Rock on
Josh

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Christine Allocca

Wow – I LOVED LOVED LOVED this video! I actually have to give a presentation on Thursday to my entire office, with a microphone and slides, and the works. I have to do this every 3 months, but the fear never gets much better. It’s exhausting and a little depressing.

Fear of public speaking is definitely the sensation I struggle with most. It’s almost like the atoms are trying to get outside of my body but my skin is holding them in. So the atoms make my heart race, shallow my breathing and weaken my voice. The sensation of anxiety before starting, and for the first few minutes after I get up there is the worst part of all of it.

I’m gonna nickname mine too when i can think of something fitting, but for right now I love the name sushie. This idea was a total shift for me, and it felt very freeing. And I love kind of getting permission to be feeling what I am feeling without trying to pretend that I’m not! HUGE fan of this episode, dude and dudette! Thanks!

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Colleen Hannegan

Thank you Marie for bringin’ on Josh today and his super helpful insights to dealing with emotion, stress, and the “jitters”! Reminding us about the atoms that make up all energy and owning it within ourselves because it has a great purpose. LIFE!! Great story! And about being on stage with all that true emotion. Yes, that’s why we love great, energetic speakers!!
Encore with Josh anytime! Thanks to you both!

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Sarina Tomel

First of all, I just love your energy together! Josh was really terrific at RHH Live with sharing his Committed Impulse techniques, so great to have this reminder and new insights/strategies to refer back to again and again! Connecting our Mind-Body-Spirit while reframing and embracing is the key! Thank-you Marie & Josh for sharing!

In a similar approach, during training runs for an upcoming race when I feel my legs are on fire and I want to quit on myself, I tell myself that its energy sensations (rather than tired sensations) coming from my legs and to keep going rather than give up. Running has been a way for me to keep embracing my fears and allowing me to step more outside my element. And I only discovered this 4 years ago when I decided to learn to love something I hated and have since gone to become a Half Marathon runner!

Finally, so grateful to know you are both doing much better from that horrific car accident! Sending you love and healing prayers to keep gaining back your energy and focus. Surrender to this time and this moment. Namaste! ~ Sarina

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Jennifer

Awesome, guys!
Mine is self doubt. It feels heavy, dull, contracting, restricting, and black.
I’m naming it ‘Crazy’!
xoJennifer

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Lana Rosales

This is such an incredible video! I’m a shy person, and for a *long* time it gave me anxiety. I felt like I wasn’t “enough” this way and that I needed to be more outgoing. After a while, my relationships took a backseat because I stopped going out at all! *BUT* over time I began to embrace my shyness, love who I am, and stand in my truth.

I absolutely love the tips in this video! For me, when I’m feeling anxious I tend to feel it in my heart and throat chakra….it feels like a champagne just corked inside a surrounding layer of honey. I’ll name it ‘hizzy’ :)

Thanks Marie & Josh for an amazing video! xox

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Joanna Carichner

Love the episode! Such great suggestions. I have heard them before in different contexts, but putting them all together like this is really helpful! I am going to share for sure.

The feeling I “struggle” with most is, I guess I would call it apathy or disconnection. When I want to do something I feel is scary or challenging, like putting myself on video or writing a blog post that is very personal and meaningful, and I am afraid of being that vulnerable, I get a wave of “who cares” or “naaahhh, why bother.”

Atomically, the feeling is heavy and slow, kind of frozen.

I could call it “Sluggie” – that is kind of cute, don’t you think?
Oh, yes, here comes sluggie, almost like “snuggie.” Like I want to wrap myself up in a snuggie and not do anything…
So, Sluggie, let’s ride you and see where you go!

Thanks for the mind, and heart expanding.

Big Love,
Joanna

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Terry Lee Cafferty

Thank you Maria & Josh…
this was brilliant and exactly what I needed today. I am a photographer and my whole life I’ve struggled with shyness. I even chose a profession that I thought allowed me to be shy and hide behind my camera….NOT. My husband is a musician and a phenomenal performer, so again, I can just hide behind him and be the shy one…don’t look at me…look at HIM! Yeah. So, to hear Josh say “maybe shyness is awesome and maybe NOT something to overcome”. Now that just feels right.
I have resurrected my business, re-invented myself after raising my two boys and I realize that if I am going to get real with this gift and thrive in a photography “business”, I will need to put myself out there….
(NOPE, not me. I like living in my shell…it’s cozy there.) However, I know it’s time to come out and shine. This major shift in perception to “use” my shyness and not be ashamed of it is HUGE for me!!! I did actually face the public speaking demon in a small, baby step way last month by deciding that I wanted to overcome this “fear” and accepted a place in an interior design presentation to speak about how to display family artwork integrated into your home decor, yada yada…I finally said “YES” to coming out of the shell (I know I have to do this and I’m tired of feeling invisible and have been for a long time). This is how much I started to “vibrate”…I actually entertained the idea in my head of running out the back door when I was nearing my time to do my little talk. “They won’t even notice….they’ll just say, oh, she must have gotten sick or something…” I did not run out the back door. I decided to speak from my heart in spite of the vibration and fear. My notes were there, but I just started to talk and in my mind, I was “terrible”, but everyone in that room felt my authenticity and willingness to be “real” even though it was uncomfortable for me and they supported me with their undivided attention and adoration and wonderful questions. I was so proud of myself because it wasn’t perfect. I allowed myself to NOT be perfect and to be seen & heard. I didn’t care that I wasn’t great. I just cared that I did it. Anyway, I’m still scared to speak and have attention on me. So this is absolutely my emotion to overcome and why this video with Josh is so powerful for me today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Emotion to Overcome: Shyness
Vibrating Atoms: Feels like a hot fire burning & beating in my stomach and my heart is ready to explode
Nicknaming it: Little Monkey …
xo

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Terry Lee

I’m changing my shyness Nickname to Pow for (short for power) Little Monkey doesn’t exactly go with hot fire burning & beating…LOL.

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Tifanie

Great topic, Marie + Josh!

What I find so interesting about what Josh said,
(paraphrase) become aware of the feeling, know that they are atom vibrations, and just be with it is…

that very consciousness takes your mind off whatever “fear” got you feeling that way in the first place!

Maybe that’s why the fearful feeling will subside after a matter of seconds?

My vibration feels chilly/cold when I get fearful or nervous.

Good stuff, you guys!

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Bennett

Wow, this was great! I will definitely apply these techniques to my thesis defense. Especially the riding-not-hiding-thing seems really empowering to me. I will finally stop working towards being a non shy speaker and just be myself ;). Thanks for sharing!

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Nicole Orozco

Thank you so much for shooting this video. I have to save it is the most helpful one that I have watched.
I will be launching my website God willing within a couple months and one of the things that I want to implement into my business is vlogging.

The problem? I get nervous in front of an audience or camera. The sensations that I get is a bubbly sensation in my chest followed by tenseness.
I am going to nickname it Shebang. Why? Because it means the all of something and if I am going to vlog my viewers are going to get the whole shebang…vibrating atoms and all…LOL

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Nicole

I used to suffer from extreme “shyness” in middle school. The worst part was that I was a “blusher.” Just a teacher calling my name out in class was enough to turn me bright red. My solution was that I would try to – purposefully – blush. In other words, I would “give into the sensation.” After I learned that trick, I haven’t hardly blushed since.

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Laurel Noddin

Even posting comments produces some slight form of anxiety. However it would appear form the other comments that I am not alone when it comes to this emotion. I have never been a religious person but I have almost finished A Course In Miracles and it has truly given me new perspective on the importance of forgiveness, and I have also realized that the person I need to forgive most is myself. So, I am working on overcoming my fears and embracing my strengths. ACIM refers to us all as Sons of God. And it would appear that most of us suffer with some form of fear and anxiety. So I am going to nickname this emotion SOG or Soggy to remind myself that we are all in this together as Sons of God and we all have the power to turn it around. Thank you both for this video. Inspiration is motivation and that is what you offer us on a daily basis:).

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Meche

MF!

You guys rock! I’m sure Jay-Z and Beyonce are watching this and thinking…. “wow, these guys are awesome, are we this cute together?”

Marie, as always the message was right on time!
As the VP of Membership for my Toastmasters Int’l club (Conquerors1066) public speaking is a roller-coaster ride. sometimes even a train wreck. it’s not so easy to motivate folks to get involved with Toastmasters, but the members that are there are phenomenal speakers. I totally vibrated on a different wave-length watching Josh teach about his “Ah Ha” moments as a child. He reminded me of Wayne Dwyer’s philosophy about thinking on high&low energetic levels. Good stuff. You both ROCK! and are greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time, creativity and ALL that you do.

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Meche

Marie Forleo*
Wayne Dyer*
gosh i wished i could edit after send ..

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Maggie

Hm, I think the feeling I struggle with the most is a sense that I’m not fulfilling my potential, that i’m in a holding pattern and that I’m supposed to be doing something I’m not doing (but don’t know what it is, so bad feeling +frustration)! I get idea that the gross feeling might even be keeping me from resolving the issue, so I’d like to overcome/handle it!

How it feels – it feels like my gut being forced down and back into my low back – almost like a medicine ball was in my belly forcing me to sit and keep my butt firmly planted in a chair. There’s also a sense of the back of my throat cinching up and closing. Atomically, I think that would be heaviness, contraction and sluggishness or lethargy/stagnation

I think I’ll call this feeling “sluggy” – it feels like moving slowly and being stuck where I am, despite all this energy I have to bounce around and do great things!
Not sure how to party with a slug, certainly beer is off the menu, but I’ll see if I can find a way!

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Alixandrea

Haha, Sluggy, that’s perfect! Frustration is my number one enemy emotion too, it ties my stomach up in knots and makes me feel as if I have a golf ball blocking my throat. To me, it’s like my atoms have stopped vibrating in those points of my body and won’t get started again until the frustration wears off. When I have a major attack it makes me feel like crying…

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Samantha Keen

I really love this video, and the energy between Josh and Marie :) Thank you for sharing it. And I really like the way Joshua describes the relationship between feelings and emotions as something to express and clarify and then “overcome”. I have worked in this area for a long time, and the thing that I like is that Joshua describes a way of overcoming these experiences which is not about fighting them. When we fight something inside of ourselves, unfortunately we make it stronger. That goes for thoughts, emotions and feelings. But it seems like he is saying, make friends with it, if you will.
The funniest one of those for me was in a 2-week silent meditation retreat where I was a total beginner with a lot of very experienced women. I was so anxious about the sound of my breathing, the tick of my mind, the intense agitation that made it difficult to sit still for hours….. until at one point my stomach started to gurgle in the silent (very silent) meditations. All I could do was smile, and try not to laugh aloud. The affect was that the vibration of the fear/anxiety became funny to me, and I stopped fighting, and started to have a humorous experience with that energy. It was so clear that this ball in my belly was not me, in terms of the big sense of my Being, but it was part of my energy. I let go of trying to control it, and laughed along with its silly fidgety vibrations.
Thanks Marie. Loving the presentation of your work, and seeing how you have fun, and present a very professional front at the same time. Gorgeous!

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Kate

my failure fear = feels like a closed fist around my throat
we’ll call him rocky.

my favorite snippet here was that the feeling only lasts 7-12 seconds before it moves on. will be sharing that with my 11 year old son who wants to control all and stop the fear.

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Jenn Scalia, Awesome on Purpose

I know exactly my feeling, it happens every time. my heart literally sinks and then it pounds heavily like a drum for like 5-10 seconds until I figure out what’s going on. This also happens anytime I get nervous. I guess Josh is right when he says the feeling lasts 5-12 seconds. Smart Man! I think mine will be called Beat Box and that’s definitely something I can party with!

I loved the connection between you and Josh, it was really heartwarming and I almost teared up, perhaps because I don’t have a connection like that with my significant other. I could definitely feel the love!

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Veronica

I’ve been having these feelings all my life, they doesn’t seem to go away. When I even think about public speaking I feel a huge chunk of bread (or whatever) in my stomach. I’m afraid that I will forget what to say on stage.

However there is one thing that help me be stronger than my vibrations, and that is KNOWING what your goal is. What is the message you need to get out in the world. If the goal is bigger than yourself than focus on that goal. I will now call these vibrations my “motivators”. Thank you Marie & Josh.

When I’m afraid of what people will think, I think about the powerful quote by Thedore Franklin: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Remembering that at least you had the courage to make the effort will make the critics look small.

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Veronica

Sorry! It’s Theodore Roosevelt, not Theodore Franklin….:)

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Melissa Burkheimer

Hey Marie and Josh!

So glad to hear that you’re healing after that nasty accident! Today’s topic hits home with me on so many levels. While I’m super comfortable getting in front of people to speak, I’m secretly fearful of failing. Specifically, failing at losing weight and failing at launching my new program.

I’m going to name my weight loss fear Beyonce (cause who doesn’t love Beyonce) and my launch fear Honey Boo Boo because when I say it out loud I can’t help but smile.

Cheers to Beyonce and Honey Boo Boo.

xoxo
Melissa

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Amanda

Such a beautiful episode. Thank you for sharing your love with us.

So, my “public speaking” fear is maybe a little different. You see, I don’t mind speaking in public whether in front of groups or one-on-one. I feel more confident if I’m prepared, sure, but in general I can ride the “shush” pretty well in those situations. My barriers come up around social media. I’m not on Facebook, or Twitter, etc. (Gasp! I know). And I know this is a huge hinderance to my business, and even my social life at this point. It feels like if you’re not on social media these days, you pretty much don’t exist. I’m in awe of how many people fully embrace it and “put themselves out there” on a daily basis. Everyone is on it, sharing so much of themselves… even people who are terrified of public speaking. I totally get the advantages at this point and do crave some of that interaction. But I feel like everything on the internet is “public speaking” carved into modern stone. You don’t know who is looking at you or entering your world either, which is also kind of weird to wrap my head around. And I feel incredibly alone in this point of view. I’ve thought of writing in for Q&A Tuesday, but have thought time and again… “Nahhhh, nobody shares that fear, dork. Get a grip and get with the times sista!”

My emotion is: fear of social media and general “public speaking” on the internet.
My atoms are: swirling in my whirlpool of a stomach, pulling the plug, and draining the words right out of me. I feel nauseous and paranoid and alone.
My new nickname: atomic. I’m going to keep it literal here, because calling it what it is in this case helps to keep me centered in the way you described. It actually helps me feel less alone to know that my atoms are your atoms are the table’s atoms. So freaking cool. Thanks for this simple yet profound little physics lesson. Josh, your daddy would be proud.

On that note, I am going to start this “party” by publishing my first comment here, but would love some perspective on what I feel these days is a rather quirky fear. Any thoughts would be so appreciated. Cheers!

ps. feeling atomic….

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Veronica

I think this is a great Q&A Tuesday question! I would love Marie’s thoughts on this. Sometimes I also struggle with this, but I made a rule for myself: Just publish things on social media that is related to your work or the message you want to get into the world. All other things: keep it to yourself. In that way, you have the best of both worlds. xx Veronica

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Terry Lee

Amanda, thank you for this post – you are not alone.
I love that Veronica! Yes, would love to hear how Maria would approach this subject. There is so much confusion for me in terms of Social Media and how to get our message into the world, but I see so much fraud and plagiarism. How do we remain authentic selves within it all. I seem to think that my clients are not on Facebook & Twitter, but at the same time, I don’t want to get too far behind if this is what is required to take business to the next level. It is a scary landscape to navigate…no doubt. That is why I want to sign up for Maria’s B-School in 2014 when my business will be ready for an online push. Now, I am just playing it safe and dabbling on Facebook (no twitter) and I have a blog attached to my website ( which desparately needs an overhaul) that I use to communicate & market. Good for you for sharing your comment and putting it out there. It is valid and should be addressed. xo

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Carlyle Coash

Most excellent as always. Such a great way to start my Tuesday.

I have been and still am an actor/performer/speaker – so a lot of time up in front of people. I still get nervous and it can be completely random when it will strike. Sometimes I shake. Sometimes there is a flush of warmth that results in hands sweating like the most sweaty hands in the history of all sweaty hands. If it arose during a production of a play, my mind would instantly leap in and convince me I was going to forget all my lines. If a presentation then it would usually be a feeling that everyone would walk out wondering why I was up there talking.

Funny how the mind leaps in and builds on the energy.

So the feeling of shaking, heat and bright energy in my chest. Up to this point I generally find a way to ground myself, take some deep breaths. I practice meditation, so that has helped with the negative voice to be able to acknowledge it is just fear. Naming it though – I like that.

Ok – first thought, best thought – Flurgey. That is the new nickname. Flurgey. I’m feeling Flurgey! If nothing else it makes me laugh which right there switches the whole thing. Thank you. I will try this next time it arises.

I will say that also I do try – and at times succeed – in just going with the energy. I use the nervousness to energize me into the performance or talk. It really helps and is much less work than trying to push it down. I use the energy to connect more and step forward. Then the feeling usually shifts very quickly. This has been especially so when I have done Children’s Theatre because the energy you give is matched a thousand times by the kids. Then the fear becomes joy. Plus you can be a total goof and they love you for it. Beautiful.

Thank you both for being messengers for change. A deep bow of gratitude.

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Carlyle Coash

In fact this has reminded me of one of my favorite characters in which I played a nervous vampire. So nervous he scared himself when he leapt out at people. So now I have a visual along with the word!

Thanks!

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Ashlee Thurlow

The “vibrator” concept is something I learned from KC Baker and its absolutely changed how I’ve viewed speaking, and how I speak to people! I’ve even found that concept helpful when I’m about to publish a big blog post, or guest post, or send a big email, etc. But I love the idea of nicknaming it! That’s a great idea and something that can totally flip your perspective when you’re freaking out in the monument. I’m gonna have to do some brainstormin’ today for goofy names! ;)

Thanks Marie & Josh!

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Angela

Wonderful episode! De.light.full explanations of how being centred and integrated is a mind and body energetic (ie. vibrational) experience. And courage is knowing that at the bottom of our human experience is vulnerability and insecurity which is not a problem but the opening to love and compassion and the fragile beauty of this miracle of creation. Thank you Josh and Marie! – angelA from Calgary, Alberta, Canada

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candice

The vibration that wreaks havoc on my life is fear. It feels heavy like dense energy walls caving in on me. This creates another sensation that feels like very chaotic energy. The energy is bumping into each other; it’s fast and scattered. These two sensations can get locked into bouncing back and forth with one another. I’ll nickname this bopsy.

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Laura

Hello!

I loved this video. I had a teacher explain working with anxiety in a similar way, by asking his students, “Yes, I know you are anxious, but how do you KNOW you are anxious?” – A practice in embodiment and taking the judgement away from the experience.
That being said, when I have anxiety creep in, I feel a constriction in my chest and a ping pong energy bouncing around quickly in my head. If I resist it too long, it shifts into tunnel vision and full blown stress response. The practice is feeling fully, again and again and again…great video :)

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Brenda Sissel

Thanks so much for the information on how to overcome nervousness. I have given talks in church for years and performed on stage with my music. I use to get so nervous that I would spill things and get shake so bad until I really got into the show. I have since just ignored the nervousness and plodded on. I am now able to use this information and use that to my advantage. thanks so much.

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Scott MacMillan

I can’t seem to get comfortable with cold calling and sales calls. I don’t like dealing with the awkwardness of some calls or the rudeness and rejection of others. The emotion is fear I guess. I also feel inadequate to deal with people who don’t agree with me or see my point of view.
The atoms feel like they are jumping up and down from my stomach to my head over and over again almost in a rhythm. Maybe if I just sat a minute before I start calling and get in tune with the rhythm I can use it to my benefit.

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Ariella

Josh & Marie,

As a Vocal Empowerment & Success Coach, I really appreciated how Josh expressed his points. I teach the same thing from different angles… it is vital information that so many people benefit greatly from (much of the population).

I love being in front of people, and if I get nervous or anxious, I take that vibration and channel it INTO my performance and presentation, as Josh suggested. I also suggest dropping from the head into the heart & body… moving my body, feeling hips, wiggling toes, and softening. As the mind is what creates nervousness, while the body simply IS….

We are powerful and can transform our own energy.

Cheers, Kudos, Thank you!
Empowered you,

Ariella

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Tracie

I love the idea of riding a feeling instead of trying to suppress it; that’s definitely something I need to work on.

The thing I struggle with the most is being emotionally vulnerable – It makes me feel exposed and nervous. Instead, I”m going to start calling it my mojo – to empower myself TO be vulnerable and let people in.

Thank you for making this video, Marie & Josh! It really made me think about things differently.

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Tunde

Love this – it’s so zen and so bang on.

My sensation/emotion to “overcome” is a constellation of overwhelm, depression, exhaustion, feeling incompetent and small, and feeling frustrated about reaching breakthrough on All Of That. Whew. I sense the vibrating atoms as stuckness in my throat & chest, & general overall slowed-down, heavy feelings. I’m nicknaming it Whoa Nelly!

And committing to ride & not hide it.

Thank you so much for this. Lovin it.

xoxo

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Cyd

Oh I wish the dancing part of the video had gone on longer. I got up and was starting to dance with you too! :-) I struggle with self-confidence, which makes me feel irritated, sluggish, like something thick, wet, heavy and icky is sitting on top of me … so I’m gonna name that Oyster. I hate those oystery feelings, but I’m going to take your advice, enjoy that mushy goo on top of my head until the pearl decides to come out! (So great to see how much love is between you two!)

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JONA

That was great! Loved the dance off ending ! I have to say for the first time I saw that you were just a tad nervous having the man you love there with you in your realm. It was perfect really as an example of just going with the vibration in that moment , very real and authentic . Made this video clip that much more special! Thank you for this wonderful energy ! Blessings to you both! 8)

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Gem

What an awesome technique!

I’m quite extroverted, but at times struggle with the feeling that I’m not moving forward quickly enough – perhaps a part-fear, part-self-doubt, part-anxiety melange of rancidness.

When it’s more on the fear and doubt side of the fence, it’s like a really dense black rubber block (new nickname: “The Clunk”), and when it’s tinged with anxiousness, the edges of the dense rubber become a really slow moving red smoke (new nickname: “Singey”). Both often happen within a short space of each other and I feel it in my chest and throat.

Now I think of it, Singey and The Clunk sounds like crap funk band name… I think I have a keeper ; )

Thanks Marie and Josh, really enjoyed this vid!

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Natali

I did not get any links to 27 min free audio after I signed up. All I got is links to social networks.

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Marie Forleo

Hmmm – Natali, not sure what happened there. Please write info@committedimpulse.com — they’ll help you out!

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Tanya von Zychlinsky

Hi Marie and Josh, what a great video! I would love to see more of these with both of you as well, because the world needs more examples of the new way of relating and creating where both listen to each other with love and respect. Thank you so much!

Challenge:
1. dissolve ‘feeling guilty’/’fear of raising jealousy’/’crime to shine’ but a call to be a celebrity in the SPOTLIGHT
feeling guilty to have it all, be rich, hot & happy, in love, beautiful, brilliant, and living my bright light and dream-come-true-life, because ‘there is always someone who needs it more’ (old belief!) and because ‘it makes visible to the less fortunate or handicapped that they don’t have it.
2. Sensation/emotion of vibrating atoms: it tightens my head, clutches my heart, strangles my throat, and gives me cold feet like standing in a grave: alive enough to not offend, neutral enough to not threaten others (Crime to Shine)
3. My nickname: SunShine
Everything is Energy in Formation – and the Sun shines so that all can grow and prosper and come alive with passionate living by Divine Design.

Wow!! I bet the sun never once felt guilty for shining… (hehe!)

Great powerful challenge. Thank you!

gratitude, generosity, and genius to all,

Tanya

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Galina

Hey Tanya! I have very similar feelings to yours. Best wishes to you)

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Elena

Excellent, *mindful* way to think of the somatics of fear of public speaking, Josh. Really breaks it down to allowing *what is*, as they say–choosing self acceptance, making it sweet and neutral, with a funny handle. Thank you for sharing this.

Rejection is my greatest fear, next to meaninglessness. I expect it- it does not matter where I am or what I’m doing! Talk about daunting! But in public speaking, it is THE BOOGEYMAN.

The physical feeling is CONTRACTION, the energy goes backwards and down to the lower body instead of expanding up into my chest and head. The emotional feeling is SHAME (for having all of my weaknesses) and the intellectual impulse is WANTING TO DISAPPEAR, isolate. There is a simultaneous sense of *having proven rejection to be true* in multiple experiences and a consciousness that my brain picked it up early on and it formed a negative *neural groove*.

That is something–just to verbalize it! What a trip…

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Ingrid

I loved the idea of not suppressing the “negative” feelings but expressing them. So much of my shyness comes from not feeling worthy and shamefullness. I am searching for a way to overcome the lack of self worthiness and shame. Maybe you and Josh could present a video on this subject?
This feeling of lack of self worth and shame is heavy and what pevents me from stepping in front of the camera to pursue acting for commercials or uploading videos to my acting profile.
So do I use this heaviness as a means for expression?? I am not sure. I like the information and it makes sense but I am not sure how to apply it to my vibrations.
Thanks for the great presentation!

Ingrid

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Matea

This one is gold, thank you for doing what you do, you are both amasing <3 , my biggest fear is the one of public speaking,located everywhere in my body, just under my skin, I˙m gonna call it Shos and from now on I`m gonna LOVE it, love from Croatia, Matea

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Jen Bardall

Wow. The whole “7 to 12 second” revelation blew my mind. I’m definitely going to tune in to my feelings and vibrations from now on with that in mind.

One particular emotion I want to move past is the feeling that comes up when I feel like I’m not good enough. There are just moments when I step back and wonder why I’m doing B School, why I’m bothering to start my own business, and that nasty ego tells me I’m not good enough. The vibration I feel as a result is very slow, low energy, sad, and it resonates throughout my body. I’m going to call it Blahzie. “I’m blahzie right now”.

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Joy Harari Health and EFT Coach

Hi Marie! I loved this video/post. It speaks so much to what I do everyday I am a Health Coach/EFT Coach. I help people release those energy disturbances that don’t always feel so good and move on from them.

You and Josh should look into it, it’s amazing! I agree that you shouldn’t suppress the energy vibrations, but to release them with tapping is so liberating!!!
I am a trained actress, as well, and I have successfully tapped away a serious case of stage fright. It was not able to serve me well(as Josh suggests) because I would visibly shake. Talk about vibrating, Whoohooo. Anyway I was recently in a show and I was so relaxed and able to enjoy performing! Fully enjoy, like never before.
Tapping is miraculous!!

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Karen Strickholm

Yowzah Marie and Josh! That episode was GENIUS!

Now what was that homework…….?

I think this is it. When I’m trying to write, the “trying” part is a closing up of my middle and lower windpipe. I feel it from the back of my throat and down into my lungs. I literally stop breathing, or breath very, very shallowly.

So I thought of it as a vibration. I named it Choo-Choo (I have no idea why). I went through it, instead of kind of almost punishing myself when I would notice it, by taking a huge, panic-tinged deep breath.

And I realized, Choo-Choo is my body’s message to myself to get me present in the moment and tuned in. Which I guess is what you are saying — whatever the vibration is, when I can be with it, I become present.

In the case of Choo-Choo, I don’t jump away from it anymore. Now I notice, say “Hello, Choo-Choo!”, then let my throat and esophagus open up softly, on their own.

As a writer quite literally finding her voice… WOW. You have both given me such a great gift. Thank you. You have given me a second gift — to see what a strong and healthy love between two people looks like. My life changed today — Sincerely, Karen S.

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Suzanne

This is the best video you’ve ever done. Thank you!
my emotion- wanting others approval
Sensation – gobbly gook in my chest
renamed – gummy bear

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Ronja Venus Andersson | Orgasmitude.com

Totally agree Suzanne – best video ever. (Though I could prob say that about a bunch of Marie’s vids, so don’t hold it against me ;)

Love,
Ronja

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Dali

I usually have a hard time knowing how to express what I want to say even after I have rehearsed it. I get panicky and feel my cheeks slowly turning red and hot. I start feel very dumb because people can tell I look confused and I feel like no one will get me seriously. All this because I get nervous-even about the things I am most passionate about! I don’t get it. So, what I try to do is to try to listen to how fast my heart is beating and mentally tell it to slow down. This usually helps. I should call it “riding the lava” because I feel as if I turn into a volcano about to erupt.

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Angela Henriksen

Wow—how refreshing is it to actually be yourself–it’s kind of scary when you are an incredibly passionate and emotional person. I feel too deeply at times! I would describe mine as anxiety and I feel buzzy all over and like my heart is climbing up into my throat. I will name it my Bah Bahm! Because I feel a little like screaming from a mountain top to settle down—Grateful for your work!

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Angela at Diyhealthblog.com

This is one of the best episodes you have done! I am floored that Josh describes so understandably what I have been learning in my chi gong practice for the last 4 years.

When I practice chi gong I feel myself vibrate. This vibration that is a part of us comes from the earth and it cleanses our cells.

I have been practicing everything that Josh talks about in this video and even though it can be a wild ride on an emotional roller coaster it is a life changing practice where you learn not to hold on to and repress your emotions because they are constantly changing anyway.

You have to let your emotions flow by like a river instead of damming them up. We hold onto our emotions by contracting our bodies in certain ways and the emotional energy plus our body fluids get stagnant and can cause health problems.

As a health coach I can’t tell you how important this practice is for health. It is great to use for public speaking but really this is LIFE CHANGING advice. But it takes a lot of practice to see the enormous benefit.

Thanks for putting out some of the best content I’ve seen in a while!

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Vanessa Edgar

the emotion I would like to overcome is anxiety. I have it over just about everything I do. from just daily routine things to being honest about my feelings to people who may reject me. the feeling usually comes in the form of a tightening and pulsating sensation in my belly. sometimes to the point that my whole body feels like one big beating heart. so, since I’ve recently been trying to learn spanish I will nickname this feeling ‘mi corazón’.

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Loree

LOVED the video! SO helpful. And as a couple, thank you for sharing yourselves with us. Up until just a couple of years ago, the thought of even talking to a tiny group of people around a conference table freaked me out, but my previous career in HR was a huge incentive to do the work to get over it.
I am “ok” speaking in front of people, except for when I am extremely passionate about what I’m talking about; subjects like our saving our beautiful earth, or the fact that everything/all of us are connected, fill me with such powerful vibrations that my breathing picks up and my voice shakes, and I even get teary. The atoms rush and build, and then it feels like they froth and splash, and I visibly shake, and then get even more self conscious because at that point the audience picks up on how affected I am by what I am saying, and I feel like my body can’t hold it all. This video has been awesome. I have named my sensation “Splashy” since it is kind of a dorky name for such overwhelming emotions and makes me chuckle. I am going to RIDE IT not HIDE it, by channeling the energy better and being ok and happy about the fact that I am so effing passionate about something so awesome. THANKS, and NAMASTE!!

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Karry

I have a feeling of nervousness I would like to overcome. I think its fate that this video came out this week because I was just speaking with someone about how I wanted to conquer that feeling. The feeling of nervousness feels like my heart is beating a mile a minute. It feels like someone is playing the drums really fast and wont stop! I call this feeling: Beating Heavy!

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Isabelle

Hey, hi ! Thanks Josh, thanks Marie ! You two are adorable and so “real” ! I feel like I know you personally !
I have one presentation coming up in a few weeks, and I’m getting a little nervous. Now, let’s ride the wave, and experiment with the assignment:
1. I’d like to “overcome” this sensation of fear, of being sure I’m an “imposteur” (fake ?) talking about this subject…
2. The physical sensations are light-headedness, heavy legs, wet hands, being enclosed in a shroud, feeling far from the audience, heartbeat running wild…
3. O.k., I’m pleased to meet…. “CRAZY FOGGY”. (Hi Crazy Foggy! Let’s take a ride together !)

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Josh Pais

Hey Isabelle.
Let’s break down your #1.
It may actually be two parts.
1A is you feel some fear.
1B is you listen to a commentary that you are an impostor.
Now, just so ya know – a lot of people have that commentary in their heads ( and it is completely caca).
The key is to feel the sensation – and know that if you are listening to a commentary about you being an impostor – it means that you have left your body. Stay with the body sensations fully while you engage with your immediate environment and there won’t be room for imposterous thoughts.
Have fun!!
Best
Josh

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Cortis

This is great. Thanks for sharing.

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Jasmin

How I feel about this video is ineffable so I’ll just say thank you. I’m totally shazaming!!

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CheersCristalia

I get a weird feeling on my chest and I used to say “I have a bad feeling.” It feels like something heavy and I start breathing with intention to calm it down. From now on I will be calling it the Shakalaka!!!

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Adrienne

Thanks for the video! It was eye opening. I am trying to put together a class on facing your fears and this info is PERFECT!

Emotion: I am a public speaker and am comfortable facilitating large groups, the largest I facilitated was 800 people. My problem is I hate small talk. I know how important it is to develop relationships with people. And I can talk to people in regards to the subject matter I teach. But when I’m moving from point A to point B with someone and I need to feel the void of silence, I get all choked up. The conversation doesn’t flow. It’s nothing but short one to four word sentences. Ugh. So frustrating.

What am I feeling: I get tightening in my chest and a lump in my throat. My atoms aren’t jumping, they are all working together to push out of my chest. Picture the end of the movie Finding Nemo. When all the fish are working together to rip through the fishing net, they’re caught in. That’s my atoms. They are all working together to get the hell out of dodge. NOW.

Nickname: I’m going to nickname mine as “Ms. Flow”. Why? Because a conversation flows from one person to the next. And Ms. Flow sounds like someone’s who’s inquisitive, caring and fun. Like a 200 pound woman, sitting on her porch swing and at that moment in time she’s got nothing else to do, but to listen to you and offer her downhome advice. I think I’m really gonna like Ms. Flow.

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Gayane

Thank you! Such a beautiful piece. I’ve been riding my emotions the last few days. I so appreciate the comment about not labeling the vibrations as either good or bad.

Love.
gayane.

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Melissa

What a beautiful way of looking at life and dealing with natural emotions that sometimes sabotage us at very important moments in our lives. I think these nuggets are such profound life lessons. Thanks for sharing, this was by far my favorite episode!!! I would love for Josh to come back and share more of his wisdom and good energy.

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Josh Pais

Hey Melissa
I’m sure I’ll be back.
And, just to expand on what you wrote.
We should all remember that no emotion ever sabotages us.
We only sabotage ourselves when we try to stop the truth of the sensation in our body.
Once we increase our tolerance to our body sensations we become invincible.
You’re awesome.
Josh

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Ronja Venus Andersson | Orgasmitude.com

That’s some deep wisdom you’ve got there, Josh…

Emotion – The feeling of that i have to be doing things all the time, constantly getting things done + the panicky feeling that it’s never ever enough
Sensation – Tightness/cramping sensation in my heart and weight on my chest. Hard to breathe.
Nickname – Trust

Ooh! The last one surprised me, but yes, when I nickname it Trust it confuses my mind in a way that it drops out and gives me space to actually relax into the feeling of trust. And when I ride that wave I trust in the perfect timing of everything, including my own actions. ;)

Thanks again for an amazing video M & J!

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Sarah

Marie and Josh, thank you so much. I really enjoyed this!

I love how Josh described shyness, as I’ve recently read the book ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cain and was very inspired by the read. I’ve also recently returned from living abroad and am a NJ gal like you Marie! (I believe I heard you say that in one of your videos!) I went to a good school, have done all the right things, however deep down, I’m not one to do things like other people, although I’ve lived a life according to all normal conventions. I just have all this wild creative energy bubbling up inside but because I never given myself the right outlet for it

1. Courage
2. It manifests as fear- tightening in chest, throat and neck muscles. These little electrical currents form long spindly fingers and crawl into each of my internal organs and then quickly grab a hold of them while the outside of my body tingles. Ugh :/. Not fun and they’ve recently stopped as I’ve been doing my best to speak my truth.
3. Cuzum

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Mel

Feeling stupid/looking ugly in front of a camera. Feels like a tightening in my stomach. If I had to name it (this is hard, never thought of it this way before): JUMPY HANDS. I would like to ride the jumpy hands feeling without looking like I’m about to seize up from my own nervousness.

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Karin

Thank you for neutralizing the fears by making them something that is not necessarily attached to me but energy that flows through me. I often feel fireworks inside when I’m happy for someone, want to hug them, raise my voice to a higher pitch and congratulate them, but I’ve been made fun of before and given weird looks so I tend to really hold back on my excitement. I don’t like it, and I do feel fake, but I feel I fit in better. With this video, I got to thinking that I shouldn’t worry so much about others’ reaction because maybe they’re resisting the vibes I’m sending out and maybe they’ll let go one day and allow their energy to flow, just like me. Then we can both let the fireworks show and just be happy instead of worrying about being too proper.

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Julia Dolowicz

It was such a beautiful Q+A, not just because of the content, but because of the two of you. You looked so incredibly cute the pair of you.

Josh verbalised very atoms eloquently and our connection to the table. I remember hearing this many many years ago. Loved his whole 3 step process. I am now going to rename my vibes.

Thank you :) Julia

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karenann

you guys rock. thank you for sharing this. Josh great advice.

1) i struggle with anxiousness and crappy feeling of people judging me if they find out the truth about a lie i told.
2) heaviness, a feeling of ‘oh sh-t’ they got me
3) i will name it freddie

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Liz

The hardest thing but the most freeing thing is to just come clean if it’s possible. I know sometimes there are times when we wonder if the truth will cause more damage. It’s a hard one, but everyone has made mistakes and everyone has lied at some point if not only to ourselves. It shows a lot of courage that you can own up to it. Don’t worry about others judging you. It’s just a hazard of being human. You just can’t let other’s judgments of you define who you are. There may be bits of truth in it, but it’s also mixed up with that person’s projections. Here’s a funny metaphor – not to trivialize your situation, but to make you laugh. It’s like farting in a room full of people. You can sit in shame hoping no one calls you out and embarrasses you, or you can claim it, say excuse me and hold your head high – nobody can use that fart against you because you are aware and comfortable with your humanity. :)

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Ellen Scott Grable

WOW! Thanks for today’s major life shift!

I struggle with the disappointment vibration when I am confronted with people who refuse to see we need to change courses in order to thrive on this planet with its other inhabitants…Before we get to being in energy space daydreaming of the days we vibrated and the whole planet did too…and I struggle then with sad vibes.

The disappoint vibes named poofy feel heavy in my heart dragging toward my midsection. A palpable drop in my shoulders and heaviness. Sadness vibes are called bummy and vibrate in as a darkness rolls in and colors are muted and then I feel more heart heavy and eyes feel tired and my jaw aches.

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Patricia

This video helped me today especially because I’ve started to wake up in the morning and just feel like I have no purpose in living.

I don’t really think it’s depression exactly, just …. now I have to think of a new name for it as Josh suggested….. blank? I know there are things that help but I like the idea of re-naming it.

If anyone has had a good way to name those kinds of feelings I would like to hear them. Marie’s videos inspire me a lot when I get like this… thank you, Marie!

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Josh Pais

Hiya Patricia
Just to clarify…
If I may be so bold.
You don’t wake up in the morning and FEEL like you have no purpose.
Rather…
You wake up in the morning and listen to a series of thoughts that all fit under the theme: I have no purpose in living.
They’re just thoughts – and I’ll betcha they’re the same crappy thoughts every morning.
Riiiight??
But ya know what – they’re just thoughts. They’re not accurate. Just a familiar tape loop.
Look, our minds want to keep us listening to it’s crap.
What to do – stay in the brilliance of your body. This will pull you into the present moment.
Feel those amazing sensations in there.
Say out loud “I’m Back” and remember that you are on the planet for a very important reason.
We need what you have to create.
Have fun.
Big Hug
Josh

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Patricia

Hi Josh, and thank you… big hug back! I realilzed after I wrote this that I was off the topic of public speaking…. which, for me is actually energizing and fun… totally takes me out of that place I talked about before.

I am going to practice your suggestions … I was thinking after I wrote that, that I need to get stung by a bee or something; I see it goes along with what you said about getting back into my body.

Thanks for the shot in the arm :)

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Piera

This was so awesome! thank you Marie and Josh.I felt like I was hearing myself speak, as I ALWAYS talk about energy and VIBRATION. I can somehow relate everything back to how we vibrate as energy is everything!

I would have to say I’m getting better at public speaking. The key is to keep at it. The more you do the thing you fear the less charge it will have for you.

I would say I feel nervous before giving talks. I feel everything within me super ALIVE, and on. It’s a very intense sense of awareness. I feel the energy vibrating at a very quickened speed, and I feel a pulse like sensation mainly in my chest. That could be the ol’ heart just feeling more awake.

I REALLY LOVE LOVE LOVE Josh’s suggestion to go with the energy instead of deny it, push it or change it entirely. Using the energy to go forth and and bring forth the words is a great way to use up the excess nervous energy. Also nothing is “good” or “bad” it just is.

I find that once you get past the initial jitters, the energy transforms into a more confident, and smooth feeling. Practice, practice, practice.

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Piera

OHHH i am going to call my nervous energy – Chichi. It’s you and me Chichi, you and me for the world!!!! :)

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Kellie

Wow! Shazam is going to be my word – it’s neither good or bad.The one thing I cannot seem to get over when speaking in front of a crowd is trembling – but now will put my shizam in to good use and ride with it! Thanks Marie – love it!

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Josh Pais

Hiya Kellie
Just know that the trembling is the result of trying to control and monitor the sensations. Breathe deep, see who is in front of you, and let all the sensations be your guide track to create from.
Rock on
Josh

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Elena

Josh…this is such a gift. I got a name for my REJECTION persona!…the Grim Reaper and I can laugh inside when he raises the pick-ax!

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Amy Aversa

Loved the insightful advice! And Marie–you’ve got a great man!

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Josh Pais

Right??

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Stacy

I’m cracking up! Love the dancing.
My emotion is fear/worry. It feels like I’m dropping really fast on a roller coaster and I’m nicknaming it Feefee. I am committing to ride it and not hide it. Oh and by the way Marie, I can see a total difference when your around. You can totally tell he melts you, :)

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Rebecca

Love the re-frame. Shazaam!

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Marlena Torres

Wow, wow, wow. I feel like this video is an answer to my prayers. You two are so great together. I could feel the love. :)

To answer your Q – I’m hugely shy until I’m comfortable with a person or group of people. This has led to me having a tendency to hide in my shell, for sake of comfort, rather than speak my mind, live my truth, and push myself to have the business/career of my dreams.

I have had anxiety attacks over public speaking assignments in college, mostly due to overall shyness and a fear of sounding and looking stupid. I almost failed a course because of it! It’s definitely a tightening in my chest as well as a feeling of almost nothingness in my stomach, like I’m losing my stomach…if that makes sense.

What to name it? Hmmm. How about merlot. Or shiraz. Two of my favorite wines that actually make me very un-shy and outspoken. I’m feeling shirazzy. hahaha Also a reminder that my shyness really is just a mask that the booze removes. :)

I love, love, love LOVE the “ride it, don’t hide it”. I feel like there is such a need to control every little thing about ourselves that doesn’t line up with what is considered right, polite, or attractive. As a nutritionist who is somewhat obsessed with the topic of emotional eating, this concept of riding it and not hiding it is blowing my mind right now as I type this!

Oh, and every really negative feeling only lasts 7-12 seconds? I’ll be testing that out. Thanks so much for this amazing vid.

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Susanna Halonen

Awesome episode & great tips!
I actually love public speaking but that doesn’t mean I don’t get nervous sometimes…
1. The things that I worry about the most are if people are bothered by my age (“She’s only 26, what does she know?”) and very related to it, how much of an expert can I really be at that age
2. Physical sensations are usually being a bit hot, flushed cheeks, thirsty and faster heartbeat.
3. Nicknaming this the “Young Shyness” and welcoming it with me.

Usually these are only before stage only and perhaps first few seconds but I find when I’m on stage there’s nothing but me, my words and the engaged audience. I think it’s also because now that I’m an entrepreneur my talks are my words, my beliefs, my experiences, and my expertise in my field… Which makes me authentic and real! This is a great place to be after working in the corporate world which didn’t have many presentations like that even though I tried to put my own spin on them though often wasn’t allowed… So yey to Marie & B-School for helping me set-up my new business that I love!

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sabrina

Hi Marie and Josh! The feeling I struggle with a lot is anxiety. I get anxious when asked about my business ideas. It feels like a contraction of energy, a tight cluster of buzzing bees. I love the idea of renaming the feeling/vibration. I’m going to call that anxious feeling Ziggy. So when I’m feeling ziggy, it wont be so bad.

Thanks!

Sabrina

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robin

ok- the feeling or emotion i would like to over come?The feeling of complete paralysis i feel on what to do with my life . I am scared stiff i guess.

the sensation is tention in my whole body, buzzing in my head and stomach and the feeling that there is somethng dark over my head making me walk crouched. There is also a visual- its me as a child only i have those big eyes like those 1970 paintings! im hiding behind a fence.

the name- ill name her Bunny. I kind of hate her.

the two of you- Josh and Marie are so cute. the love is infectious. best to you both and keep the good juju coming.

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Liz

What a special treat! It’s so great to see a couple communicating and being as supportive as you guys are. What a nice change from network TV! For me the vibration is work related fear of getting in over my head. I love how Josh put it – that a feeling is a vibration and we choose the label. For me fear and excitement feel the same so when I feel that racing heart, pounding chest, shallowness of breath, weak and jittery arms and legs, sweat beads, and pale face coming on, I have learned to say “this is EXCITING! What an adrenaline rush of Star Power!” It reminds you of what you’re made of (stardust) and it makes you feel like a rockstar ready to face the challenge.

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Beth

LOVE this interview. Thanks Marie & Josh!
For me, it’s:
1.) Shyness; which shows up in my life whenever I’m meeting new people, interacting with or speaking in front of groups of people, or speaking about the things I’m passionate about.
2.) It feels like a tightening & constricting in my chest. My breath feels short and rapid and I even feel tightness in my armpits!
3.) I’m renaming my shyness feeling to Bubbly. :)
I’m totally committed to riding Bubbly, not hiding it.

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Lovaine Cohen

Hi Marie and Josh.
Glad you guys are doing better and thanks so much for sharing. LOVING B School by the way…
I never thought of calling my “fear” a name. It makes it feel less scarier somehow.
I still get a little nervous when speaking to total strangers about what I do for a living (it’s totally legal lol). Not as much as before, it’s getting better because my comfort zone is getting larger!
I get little butterflies and my breathing gets a little faster. I’m going to call this feeling…B.C. short for Bradley Cooper (kind of diggin’ him right now). If I were to ever meet him I would DEFINITELY have butterflies and my breathing would be off the charts!! But while speaking to him I’ll come to realize that “hey this isn’t so bad and he’s easy to talk to, I can do this and I’m SPEAKING with him…”. I think part of why we feel the fear is that we are anticipating what people are going to say and that it will for the most part be negative comments. Also, our ego is trying to protect us and keep us confined in our “safe place” to save us from hurt and rejection.
I’m going to learn to live with B.C. everyday and while I do so, I know I will grow each time I speak to someone.
Josh has got some sweet dance moves Marie!! If you’re not careful, he’s going to want to do all the dance moves for all your vids lol..
Actually, I would love to see you both do a dance video together!
Love you lots,
Lovaine

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Josh Pais

Lovaine
Wishing you and Bradley (B.C.) the best.
:))
Josh

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Marci

Anxiety. It feels like the entire inside of my body is a screaming frizzle. The goofiest, silliest thing I can think of to nickname it is balooey.

Thank you so much for the segment. It was awesome. I am extremely introverted and am always being told how negative, sad, and terrible that is and that I need to change that. Uh, no. It’s who I am. I think being introverted is wonderful and a great asset. I like being introverted. I’m not interested in being anything else! I am big on not changing who I am but embracing who I am; so, this was, truly, very applicable, helpful and a fun approach for me. Looking forward to more, as I always do! :))

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Elena

OMG, I watched the Josh Pais video again. I briefly tried on the Grim Reaper for my rejection persona and that name is NOT a reframe, it’s not
neutral. It’s as judgmental as the somatic feeling of fear!

What about *Klooping* is coming forward here,– look at her!

Marie, I can see what you you see in this guy….XXOO

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Elena

She spies Kindness-in-their-Eyes.

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Amber

Love this! You two are a super-duo.

Josh – Your stuff is so good. So simple, practical, and real.

My favorite bit was “ride it – don’t hide it.”

Glad everyone’s doing well and healing over there!

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Josh Pais

I am sooo happy you changed from Grim reaper.
Now, is Klooping kinda fun?
Maybe you can bump it up one better?
Hmmm?
Rock on
Josh

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Elena

Tip-toeing here around *Klooping*. This switches to self-consciousness at being seen….Hmmm. Delicato. I was shooting for neutral which is progress pour moi. Really makes me think of fun as unfamiliar, in a sense, not allowed, too flamboyant, will be shot down.
This takes us to that idea that it venturing into the unfamiliar, not just thinking about it, is how you progress.

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Elena

This video/conversation made me realize that in any speaking scenario I’m afraid to look in people’s eyes, or seek out any kind of feedback while it’s happening….to make it an interactive thing instead of just speaking AT a group.
Even when I try to name the somatic sensation to lighten it up, I project on it…positive or negative. Loved Ann’s choice of CoolAide. It contains the clue of what to do with the feeling, not what to seek from others. Any suggestions for a soma-character who expects rejection?

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Ann

I have been trying to “overcome” shyness my entire life. I never thought I could use it to my advantage to get a job done. Normally, if I have to do something out of my comfort level, I start to feel an emptiness in my throat and chest. It feels like I just drank an icy cold glass of water and I have this cooling sensation in my throat and chest. My new nickname will be CoolAide and I will start to experience it and appreciate it and enjoy what my vibration can do for me.

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Renee

Great tips, Josh. Thanks, Marie!

1) When I have to speak in front of people, I get shaky. I am literally visibly vibrating! Talk about being a VIBRATOR! And it embarrasses me and then I shake even more. My hands shake, my knees shake, my whole body VIBRATES! Even my cheeks starts vibrating.

2) I would nickname is “Josh”. LOL! I thought of naming it “Shaky” but I think it will make it worse.

3) I commit to riding it. It does not stop me from trying to speak in front of people. But it also has not gone away.

Do you think Josh has experience with visibly shaking persons?

Renee

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Danielle

You guys are too cute :) I Especially love the part about just riding it out and not supressing whatever the vibrating feelings are, and not feeling bad or inadequate about having nervous vibes to begin with. I love what Josh said about how it’s hard to listen to someone speaking who is trying to hide their feelings because of the mixed messages. I’ve always been shy and nervous and quiet, and somehow learned to label these things as not great, but it’s just who I am. I hate making videos and putting myself out there in my business and I keep hiding behind my so called shyness that really isn’t there so much anymore. It feels like tightness in my chest and stomach, and then I realize I’m not really breathing. I’m nicknaming my nervous vibes as “sticky”. Thanks for this!

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beachmama

Fear.

Constricting, like a heart attack.

It’s “THE CLAW!”

So happy to hear you and Josh are on the mend! You two are adorable together . . . I see the spark of loovvve and it’s a beautiful thing. Thanks so much for the FABULOUS interview! xxoo

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Tonia Winchester

Josh! Awesome!

As soon as you started talking I knew I knew your voice. So I hauled mouse over to IMDB to discover that you (YOU!!) played Carl who delivered one of my favorite parts in my favorite movie, The Station Agent.

“Who’s showing the movie tonight?”
“Carl”

“Canada, Canada, cold, snow, the scenery, is really spectacular. Because the train was moving forward the smoke was moving backward – it was not extremely windy…” Hahahaha! Anyhoo…

This does all relate to this Marie-TV segment I promise! I get super nervous communicating with people who I respect or adore, in this instance both of you! So I feel a constricted, pressure in my chest. Her name is Shakira. And when I let her ride, there is a warmth that trickles down my limbs, and then she’s chill.

Awesometastic!

Thanks!!
Tonia

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Josh Pais

Have fun with Shakira!!

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Franca

What a refreshing and liberating take on Sushie, Shazam!
that kind of vibration is so strong and powerful I can hear my own heart beating, my face gets red and hot and my hands shake, I love Josh’s take on this it has truly and absolutely shifted my belief from “overcoming” to embracing.
Thank you! ever so powerful!!!

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Diana

Wuaoooo, what a great video Marie, love your energy and Josh’s too. Thanks.
Fear, that is a big word and a huge emotion. For me when I’m ready to participate in any public speaking my hearts beats like a hurricane, it is unstopable I feel my heart in my throat and I start to shake. I have been working with Toastmaste which I do recommend it is a public speaking group.

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Leah

LOVE this episode: I’ve been in a bit of a funk about moving forward and today’s vid encouraged me to set my expectations higher and move past the blah to beautiful, better, a B bombshell- business go-getter! Thanks for the encouragement Marie!

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Jona Genova

Marie & Joe, I LOVE this! Feeling yourself as vibration is a h-u-g-e part of the meditation I teach and yes, balance occurs within the calm *and* within a storm. In other words, we don’t have to wait for the storm to end to find balance, experience peace and perform at our very best.

xo,
Jona

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Jona Genova

Oops! Sorry!! Josh!!!

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Jean

Sometimes, at night before I fall asleep I’ll get a sudden anxiety attack. Luckily, I have two awesome, Josh Pais tools in my toolbox…1) the 7-12 second rule: take a deep breath and realize that the feeling passes shortly; 2) “I’m back”: works like a Charm! Thank you Josh.

Great to see you both.
XO

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Caroline Buchan

That was great Marie and Josh! I’m listening to Josh’s first audio piece at Committed Impulse and it’s wonderful and he’s hilarious!!! You’re a lucky girl :-) Thank you for introducing us to this.

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Eve

Hi Marie, Hi Josh and Hi to this amazing community!

Wow! What a great way of seeing our emotions.

Mine is anxiety. I feel it when I need to talk in front of people; when I need to put myself out there and when I think people won’t agree with me. The feeling is like my atoms are clashing against each other. My body is heavy, my heart race and my face becomes red. I’ll call it Sesame (it sounds like her/his friends in French it makes me think of “Open, O Sesame”)! I will ride Sesame, not hide it and party with it!

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Shanice Barker

PERFECT timing! This was exactly what I needed to better handle my fear of speaking in front of an audience.
1. I’ve always carried around a feeling of shyness in large groups. I’m told by many that I’m not shy at all, so I think I’m sabotaging myself :/.
2. I’d experience a quickening heartbeat, increase in breathing and a little jittery. Good signs to know I’m alive lol. Josh was SO on point with reminding us that it’s neither good or bad. It just is!
3. Me and Ms. Jiggy are going to become good friends. I’m committed to accepting it and embracing it, riding it not hiding it. No longer will I be a speaker that looks like a deer caught in headlights lol.

You two are AMAZING!!!! Thanks so much. I don’t know where I’d be without all that I’m learning…not only about business, but myself.

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Andre'a

Hey Everybody, Marie & Josh!

So… here goes my transparency:

1) The Sensation/Emotion to Overcome: Im not sure what the term is but it appears when its time to produce, of follow thru, or submit the final results.
I have a fear when it comes to completing/finishing tasks and when its time to be accountable for your final product. Fear of REJECTION of the outcome. It doesnt matter the importance of the tasks Nor how much I practice or how prepared i know I am to succeed.. I always get scared of the End, of anything.

2) It feels like my tempeture is rising. Tingles under my arms and in my scalp from the body heat rising inside of me. Fast paced heart beats. Shallow breathing. Figit-y. Itchy from the tingles all over. Swollen about to burst.

3) Im not sure what to call it. Maybe Ill go with Glitzy!

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Tennille Ortiz

This was great! I will do just what he said ;))) Another thing that helps me is actually owning it and being honest ” Excuse me everyone, I shake with excitement, drives me crazy but its how I feel when I’m excited to share great information that will help tons of people” ;) Your energy is beautiful Marie Thanks to you and your husband!

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Carolina Segura Ruiz

Hi Marie and Josh!
This video really touched my inner atoms today because it’s kind of similar to an exercise my emotional coach suggested me to do but yours is more broken down to apply to feelings and vibes I get about a very complex issue for me: guys. When I realise I like a guy, I feel like running away the fastest I can. I feel completetely terrified. I start talking faster and a lot more than usual, I sound relly bossy, and in my head there loud alarm noises telling me I’m in complete danger. All words a guy (I like) can tell me is under suspicion. I don’t believe a word, not even a single raising intonation trail in their voices. Nothing at all. Although I’ve been working on this with my emotional coach for quite a long time, I havent been able to “overcome” the feeling I get when I really like a guy. It’s supposed to be good, but it’s not. Thanks to your vid I’ve realised I keep hiding it and labeling it. And the more I hide it, the more artificial I look, the less attractive I feel. It’s a vicious circle. I know now. But what I dont know is what nickname I could give to this run-away feeling I hate… That would be the beginning to ride it. Wow, a new journey: I’ll ask my emotional coach about how to ride the runaway feeling and start looking for a good name that makes me really feel the peak of horror when I see a guy I like! :D Thanks a lot Marie and Josh for this amazing vid. It really made my day :)

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Mariam Turay

Thank you so much Marie & Josh for answering my Q. I appreciate this so much.

I will now embrace my vibrator. The sensations I feel when having to present or speak are tightness and lots of tingling in the chest and throat, the sensation feels like it all wants to burst out.

I like the name Shazam. My vibe will now be call Shazam. Shazam Shazam Shazam :-) I plan to keep you updated on my progress. Again thank you so much for everything that you do.

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Suzi Pomerantz

Love seeing the two of you together – talk about great energy! I just wanted to add a little something to what Josh illuminated, in case it helps others: The Flip A Switch Reframe. We all get to be the boss of where we put our attention and focus and thoughts. When we are feeling shy or nervous about going on stage, that means our attention is on ourselves. You can switch focus from Self to Others as fast as you could switch on a light switch and get light instead of darkness. Shift your focus, place your attention on the audience and what they might be feeling, or hoping to hear, or wanting or needing from you. When you focus on them, not you, you can be in service and be present. When you are focused on you and your nerves, you can’t be as effective. Rock on!

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Allison

Love this video! Thank you Marie & Josh!
1)Tell us the sensation you’d like to overcome:
I have this tightness in my lower tummy/abs that can extend into almost like pain in the front of my thighs.

2)Describe the sensation in terms of vibrating atoms
It’s like my atoms are frozen in fear. It actually feels like my lower abs or organs are clenching. The atoms in my thighs feel like they are shaking with fear. Not vibrating in harmony but in a discordant shake that’s trying not to shake.
3)Nick name your vibes and commit to riding it not hiding it. Something that will propel you into action
The clench in my lower tummy I’m going to call Ernie and the pain in my thighs I’m gong to call Bert. One because they are a team but Ernie comes first and just the thought of Ernie takes away the fear of the fear and makes me giggle which inspires deep breath.

I love this process! Thank you!

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Holly Frye

Just the other day as I was swimming
I felt a wave rush up and take my breath
Before I could resign and drown – a mermaid
With green eyes suggested that I dive

Kate Costello, “Inside Out”

The whole song is a beautiful way to sum up facing our fears….

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Margot

lovely, thanks

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Margot

Hi Marie and Josh,
Thank YOU both, Great topic, Beautiful Delivery. My favorite part was the “i love u’s” at the end…. I watched this with my 12 year old daughter, b/c to me she is who I really look up to in this regard. Like me she has always been “shy”, but for some reason on stage she (unlike me) has been able to shine when she is needed to perform, ski racing, dance or acting on stage. She does this naturally, she feels the Shazammin’ ahead of time and then sits with it fully and by the time she is “on” they have morphed into something else. For me it goes like this 1) speaking in public has kept me from becoming the great yoga teacher I know i could be. It bubbles up,makes my heart race, keeps me up, preoccupies me the whole day and takes over, so much so that I would rather just not deal with the torment. I will call this feelin’ Daisies. Thank you, i so needed this. With more than just this one example :)

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Mary

Marie,
Thanks so much for this video! This is exactly what I needed right now. I’m unemployed and scared. Jobs in my field are extremely rare these days. It’s hard to describe the feeling in my chest, its as though my heart and lungs at time are trying vibrate apart. Its as if a thousand butterflies are trying to break free. The feeling in my stomach is like deep, thick mud (which BTW is helping me to loose weight).
I have no idea as to what names to give these feelings.

I’m glad to hear that you and your family are healing, I was in a car accident 3 years ago and I still get nervous going through an intersection.

Mary

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Margaret

Hi guys,
Thank you for this, I loved this video and Marie I think you’re fab! I look forward to your videos every week.

My sensation is panic. I rehearse as much as I can but I literally start shaking before I speak and when I’m up there I feel myself burning up and I then I forget what I’m supposed to be saying. The only way I’ve managed this so far is to say something funny when I start (that’s to relax me as much as the audience!) and have my notes in my hand to read from. I almost feel numb and like my head’s going to pop!

I’m not sure of a nickname – Jitterpop maybe.

Thanks again. I hope you’re feeling better now.

Warm wishes,
Margaret.

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Luz Blanca

Great video. And challenge! Let’s see. I am not exactly shy, but I am introverted. What that means is that I don’t like to be put on the spot and have to perform publicly without fair warning, something that, unfortunately, happens quite a bit when I live in other countries where I stick out (visibly) as a foreigner. When pressured to give an impromptu performance and when I feel that, for some reason, I must (doesn’t happen as much nowadays since I have incorporated the word “No” into my vocabulary :-)), I experience three emotions:

1. Anger at being used by others to present information, esp when I am the one *paying* to learn something new
2. Irritation at being singled out for being a foreigner
3. Absolutely petrified

A bubble of pure, erratic energy emerges from the middle of my stomach and starts spewing out in all directions, but mostly upwards towards my chest and throat. My chest tightens and my breathe shortens and then it feels like it is strangling my throat.

And then I just start talking because, what the hell, there’s no way out of it. So I just say whatever comes to mind (although I do censor the angry words I think for being put on the spot!) and go from there. How it looks from the outside, I have no idea. But there it is.

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Danette Fernandez

Oh Marie! And Josh! The best part of this video (and what I love about you in general) is that you can really see it in action. I do not like to be in front of the camera and when I am ‘on’, I feel so ridiculous and giddy and the oxygen starts to slowly leave my brain and I turn into a goofy hot mess! But what I loved about watching Josh, is that he really does just embrace it. Hands flying and all. It means nothing negative about him and you see that. It is just energy coming out. I think I am going to nickname my energy ‘juju’ for no reason but it just sounds silly like I feel. Thanks!

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MJ

What a fabu video!! I’ve done lots of public speaking in the last year, and I never, ever would have dreamed that I could — primarily because I TURN RED LIKE A LOBSTER AT THE DROP OF A HAT. I’ve learned to talk through it, make fun of it — and also, that people actually like me better as a result because they can see my vulnerability so clearly!! I also practice reminding myself that I’m not necessarily nervous — I’m EXCITED! Then I add in a few high kicks and I’m ready to go….. :) lovelovelove your work….

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Meg Bertini

What a great solution to the “what you resist, persists” issue when you’re anxious, unhappy, or worried. Love it!

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Reese

Three things:
[1] Awesome advice from you and Josh. I watched it twice and have forwarded it to all my friends. I’ll watch it again.
[2] I love the fact that you acknowledge how much you have learned from Josh. A friend told me early on in my marriage to pay close attention because I would learn a lot from my wife, and he was right. We’ve been married almost 30 years.
[3] Check out Wistia to host your videos; you can add an email subscribe at the end of the actual video, plus the player is very clean.

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beth

OMG. I love, love, LOVE the piece about nicknaming it.
Hi-larious, and yet GENIUS.
When I give workshops I sometimes get nervous.
A tightness that makes me trip over my words…perhaps I’ll call it Trip and ride with him :)
WOOT!

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Angelina DeWeese

You guys are too cute…lots of love.

I love these simple reframes.

I often notice that before going on a stage where there is a smaller audience (under 100) I can ride it and not hide it. But recently when speaking to a room of 500+ of my peers I felt the feelings in my stomach…kinda like butterflies, I got red on my chest and when I went on stage I was thinking more of my fear than what I wanted to say. It took 2 min to settle in…but afterwards my stomach hurt!

Next time I am going to let the creative energy come up through my throat…instead of stuffing it down.

I’m naming her…” biggity badass Sha-la-la”

THanks for your genius..both of you, Angelina

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Anni

This is GREAT! Applies directly to me right now – I have a problem with FEAR, which turns to ANGER.
(and my kid is feeling it to – she’s super sensitive, and now everyday before school she says ‘I’m nervous’ ‘my stomach feels bad’ – so I hope to try to help her use this technique too – even though she is only 6)
Since the fear is literally stoping me from expanding or moving ahead at all at this point I really need to address it. It’s hard to put a fun spin on anger. The anger comes from not knowing what will happen, from being scared to make mistakes, and from a feeling of being misunderstood.
It feels heavy – like a clamp. On my head mainly.
So I’m going to nickname this energy LEGGO . Cause I need to just LET. IT. GO! There shall be no building of blocks upon my head furthermore!
amen. ahwoman. aum
and so it is.
massive gratitude. — And Josh- I’ve been remembering to use the I’M BACK technique too- and it is a super simple and awesome tool!

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Lisa

Thank you so much for sharing and helping all of us. Just thinking of this makes me vibrate and want to dance! Big smile on my face and running through me. Thank you!

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Sarah Badorine

This is so super helpful to me. I do get very nervous when making videos for my subscribers and my friends watch them and say, “you seem nervous!” Which makes me more nervous to the point that I don’t even put out videos I have filmed! I am totally going to adopt this “relabeling” method and I am naming mine ELECTRIC POWER because that is how it feels, like getting shocked by an open socket! I love you both and am so happy you are OK from your crash. When I read that email last week I totally cried-it made me realize how important you are to my life Marie. Looking forward to meeting you one day soon. Love and blessings.

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Molly Hahn

LOVE! This is SO great – thank you Marie!

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Lisa

Challenge
Sensation/Emotion I want to overcome: Feeling unworthy
Vibrational Result: The core of my body becomes leaden, lumpish with a very low almost imperceptible vibration, and my legs and arms, through to my feet and fingers get jumpy and tingly. They want to escape.
Nickname: Tubthumper

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Nancy

Wow!
Great episode! You need to have Josh on as a guest more often. Not that you’re not fan-tabulous yourself, Marie! This is an episode that I’ll have to file for reference and keep coming back to it.

I always thought my shyness and fear of public speaking was a “Baaaad” thing. I always beat myself up for not being able to relax and just speak from the heart. I never thought about embracing my feelings and just going with it. What a great concept. I feel more relaxed already!

Every time I have to talk, I feel a rush of heat coming over me, it goes from my stomach all the way to my cheeks, then I feel pressure on my chest as if an elephant was sitting on it! Then my lips tremble and my voice cracks. OMG! Am I silly or what???
I don’t know what to call that, I need help! I’m compelled to call it something negative, like “Anxious Moron” is here!
May-be “Excited Elphie”…..any ideas?

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Jess Day

I struggle with feeling anxious- not getting everything done, too much on my plate- missing out (I could have done more)and ultimately- should I have said that? So easy to get into trouble being too quick to respond/react really. SO then I edit edit edit my thoughts, comments and dont trust my own voice.
When I feel anxious- it’s consuming- makes me feel short tempered, rushed- not here- like im buzzing around with no focus.
Also- I’m afraid that my energy is too big for people- too enthusiastic (my true nature to the core).
LOVE the BS meter and riding it allowing it- the freedom of being authentic and allowing the experience and not running from it or suppressing it. The fact that there’s a time limit on any emotion if you let it be.

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cathy maxwell

Great advise! I actually have a whole body tremor and it gets worse when I am nervous so public speaking has been very difficult and embarrassing for me. I have opened my own business and it is going to be a critical part of that new business, so I look forward to using your techniques. My new nickname will be Shazam!! Thank you for the feeling of empowerment!

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Josh Pais

And I would expect that with each step you make in your business that Shazam will give a pleasant house call.
And that’s great!
Have fun
Josh

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elisa

I LOVE the idea of shyness being ok and not something to overcome. I Really love the idea of riding out the emotion (vibration) because it only lasts for 12 seconds.
BS meter reader! I am the worst at lying and I have found that to be a huge gift because I am always trying to be super honest cuz my body language sells me out everytime!
Dancing at the end was so fun and funny happy! I already like Josh, I can see why you know he is awesome!

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Elizabeth Hughes-Callison

I have just tuned into your vids and love them. I am just starting my new business and have not been out in the “public” speaking for over 7 years. I am going to just go with the flow and take deep breaths when I am feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to setting up my business. I think my word will be freeeeeeeeeeeeee because that is what I am now.

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Susan

OMG OMG OMG!! you guys are such a beautiful couple!!! Josh I totally love this video! You are brilliant!!! I am so anxious that never even thought about putting myself in front of a lot of people, only in class when exposing but at that time I had no choice!! now I feel I have so much to say and after watching this video I guess it is time to reframe!

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Francisca

Thank you Marie & Josh. The hardest emotion for me in public is deep sadness, although much better now I was once very sick and whenever i think of that time (although it was 3 years ago) my throat gets congested, right up to my nose which burns and my eyes tear up and i try to hold back the tears. Its so embarassing that i just try not to talk about that time although its an important part of who I am. It is the reason that I started my company.
A few times I just let the emotion work itself out, and it’s true it usually only takes a few seconds, but I just hate the idea of crying in public.
Before I got sick I never cried, never felt much period, I had no compassion for deep emotional displays, but now I find I am easily moved. Even if I cry for a few seconds during a presentation as long as I pull myself back together and continue my presentation it’s true, people see that my work comes from a very genuine place.
PS,
Your choice in Josh as a partner, and his choice of you speaks volumes about both of you. Before I met my boyfriend I knew I wanted to be with an inspirational man that was wise, confident, and whose advice I could always turn to. I hope the single ladies watching this are inspired to find a man of high standards that will only add to the special experience that is living on this planet.

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Katy

Question: Having supressed emotions and desires for SOOO LOOONG (38 years) I am having a hard time knowing WHAT I’m feeling, what I’m here for, and what my true talents and purpose are. Got any good tips or tricks for that?

Loved the episode…many thanks!
xoxo

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Susan Reed

Ride it, don’t hide it! Love it! I’ve caught myself in meetings, thinking, “everyone is looking at me now”….and lost concentration. Thank you for this new way of dealing with nervousness and shyness. Mine feels like I’m clenching my stomach muscles and not breathing…there’s a clue! :) I’m naming it CRUNCHIES because i may as well be doing crunches!
What a treat!! Thanks again!
Susan xoxo

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Sallie

I think of shyness as a form of fear. Fears of this kind are not something I want around to ride. It is the opposite of love. This particular fear reminds me that I don’t want to experience the negative response of criticism or rejection. Speaking in front of people can have that response.

The funny thing is, most people aren’t going to do that. Why do we get caught up in the mental drama of what only some may do? Interesting.

Rather, know that I am speaking from a heart of love-to give help, information, whatever-and remind myself I am not responsible for the negativity of others.

Also, to be congruent, I must not criticize others. Perhaps if I do have a habit of doing this, that is what precipitates the anxiety. I give some form of rejection but expect and want acceptance.

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Veronica R. Lynch

Hi Marie and Josh,

So glad you’re feeling better since the accident. I hope Kuma is doing well also.

Thank you for the video. It was very helpful as I also experience shyness and fear when it comes to speaking pulicly…which is weird because it’s something that I most want to do. It manifests as tightness in my chest, sweaty palms and shakiness in my voice which makes me feel insecure and paralyzed.

The tips in the video will help just knowing that these are vibrations that last from 7-12 seconds, though it seems longer. The idea of being honest and not hiding it but riding it out is major. I will name my vibration Shakilicious.

Thanks again,

Veronica

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Michelle T

I adore you Marie and Josh. Thank you so much for doing this video and being the beautiful lights of love and inspiration that you are.
I’m not quite sure what to do in my situation because I am part of the small percentage of people who have severe facial blushing. The second I start shazaming my entire face goes fire engine red with bright red blotches all over my neck and chest. I have been told in the past in multiple different facets of my life that I would need to find a way to beat this if I wanted to act or public speak because it is visually distracting(it is) and shows that I am not confident in the situation. This has haunted me most of my life and held me back from living my dreams.

I truly want to ride the wave instead of attempting to stay as calm as possible but it’s hard to do knowing it will result in my looking like I’ve instantly developed a skin disease which makes me want to run and hide. If anyone has jumped this specific hurdle or has any insight it would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you again Marie and Josh for discussing this hot topic as well as to everyone who’s shared their experiences! :)

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Josh Pais

See below…

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Michelle T

Thank you so much for replying Josh and giving me some hope that I can change this uncomfortable reaction. I am definitely going to go and check out the Free First Lesson on your site and would love to attend one of your courses if I can make it happen! I saw that the next one is in May. Do you think you will be leading another in the summer?

You rock!

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Juliana Gregory

I love this! I took a stand up comedy workshop, and I am shy. I shake like a leaf if I’m talking to more than one person, even when I’m not on stage. On stage I have to leave the mic in the stand or all anybody can hear is noise disturbance HA….Anyway she said a couple of things that really helped me through it 1. All shaking is, is energy that wants to move, so let it move. and 2. Similar to what you guys were talking about, she said, “point to it” whatever your feeling self conscious about, whatever is obvious to the audience, point to it right away. People can’t help but love you when you’re that honest about your vulnerability. I’m loving this! I started back in school (bschool) included, also science, because I want to help people heal nutritionally and energetically, I have been tripping on atoms for months. I’m so glad my atoms found a match in your atoms thank you for all you do! I’m getting so clear, you’re like a focus lens for my ADD brain!!! I can see!!

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Chris1169

Thank you very much! That is exactly an area I wanted to be enlightened upon.
Now, I’m thinking…
What vibe nickname sounds better – Ladies And Gentlemen or Lightning?

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Craig Brant

This was really helpful thanks – I have been down these roads a bunch of times and am excited to try this…

As for the challenge:

1) The sense I sometimes struggle with is wondering where the “audience” is at… I was taught to meet people where they are at, many of my views are fairly radical/revolutionary, I find myself second guessing my words to try to keep it within “bounds” for the people I am talking with/to. I have gone to far on “my views” a bunch of times and now find myself editing as I go to avoid putting folks off but it leaves me “second guessing” in front of them and I totally loose them because of it as Josh described in the video. I think part of the solution would be to stay empathetic to what people are experiencing while stay true to what I see, edit with wisdom and check in with folks when possible on how things are landing for them. I could also name the fact of having been ostracized in certain places and times for certain views or having made people feel bad and then lay out clearly, in a couple sentences, the altruistic vision that I am committed to.

2) My eyeballs are shooting up to the left and right. Tightness in my diaphragm (and elsewhere). Feet fidgeting. Unpresent in my body.

3) Nicknames –
unpresent in my body – “gone away”
Eyes searching – “lost”
Tightness – “vibrating”
Feet – “cringy”

I was once yanked off the stage midstream (well, nearly so) and have dropped the ball a few times, I need to heal up around some of this a bit but I can commit to riding it not hiding it.

thanks for the advice!
Craig

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Carol

I am overcoming my fear and phobia of public speaking YEAH!! It has been a huge stumbling block for me going forward to give my best to others. When I speak my heart races and I have a fear I’ll faint right on the spot. I tingle all over and feel I’m floating. The name I’ll give this is “bursting out” I am going to practice this tonight as I am doing a speech. I love the image of going with the flow! Thanks so much.

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Kerri

Wow, LOVE THIS episode!! I have been exploring this topic in many ways lately and love Josh’s method. I recently watched Amy Cuddy’s TED talk on the power of body language which helped me to get through a recent networking event by doing the Wonder Woman pose for 2 minutes before the event.

The feeling I get when meeting new people is like a fog, or cloud, and then I feel distracted and nervous. I’m going to use SNUGGY.. that warm comfortable security blanket, and reminiscent of sun and warmth to battle fog and clouds!

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Karina

Hello Marie and Josh!
Thanks so much for the video; I appreciated your insights on owning what you’re feeling; it’s so ingrained in us to do the opposite. Before I sing or speak in public, I feel a surge of nerves in my stomach and lower body; I get shaky, despite my excitement.

Nickname: Rumble, as in “Are you to ready to rumble?” (cue the music).

Thanks for making my Tuesday that much better.
Love to you both,
Karina

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Rona Lewis

Dear Marie and Josh,

As a fitness and lifestyle coach, healthy chef AND professional speaker, I know very well the issues of which you speak! I love the way you look at life and how to overcome our fears, but I am surprised no one has mentioned Toastmasters! Toastmasters is an international speaking organization that helps with these very issues! Not only can you work on your speaking skills-both prepared and “off-the-cuff,” but Toastmasters helps with your listening skills as well. These are always important in the business world, don’t you think?

I know-I know, I sound like a commercial! But i can honestly say that while not exactly having a ‘shyness’ issue, Toastmasters really helped me become a MUCH better speaker.

I’m just sayin’….

Keep up the wonderful work you do and I am SO glad you’re recovering well from your accident.

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Jaya

You guys are great together! Thanks for this. It’s a re-occuring message that keeps showing up and Josh, your version of this message is really freeing.

My #1 is Anxiety. It feels like a tightening in my gut and suspension of breathing. I’m gonna start calling it “getting a stiffy!”

My #2 (including because it’s almost as bothersome as #1 is Discontent/frustration/worry. It feels very itchy all over my skin and makes me want to scratch myself and pick at myself. I’m gonna call it “getting fired up.”

Thanks!

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Elle

The feeling I struggle with most is stress.
In a way it feels like excitement – heaviness inside my chest and tightness across my shoulders.
But to give it a name? Hmm. I think I’ll borrow it from MJ:

‘Shamone now!’

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Brianna

i like it!

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Brianna

Great video:)

I totally agree with riding it not hiding it, that’s my practice.

I feel anxious a lot because i’m feverishly working to create a structure where i can be fully engaged in myself and my world, flowing harmoniously. I feel all yucky promoting my work and asking for support too….so i guess i need a better word for it….
okay i got it…..inspired by the shushui or whatever that was…and the kaka i feel:)
shikaka…..it’s from Ace Ventura pet detective II….i think that word expresses the vibration i feel rather well but with a twist of play and humor. thanks so much i’m going to work with that!

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Ritu

You two are so cute! I loved witnessing the chemistry :) xo

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Sarah

Until today, I called it fear. It is a very special and specific fear, it says, “I can’t do this alone and I shouldn’t have to do this alone but there is no one who will help me so I’m stuck.”
It feels: numb around my mouth, a straight burning from my throat to just below my navel, and heavy and soggy in my gut.
I will take your awesome suggestion and rename this feeling Shazaaam! Impossible to summon Shazaaam! without smiling!

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Christian Marie Herron

Thank you Marie and Josh, I really appreciated today’s video. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate Josh validating that shyness is not a character flaw or something to be “overcome.”

As a coach who specializes in helping introverts leverage their natural strengths, I am always looking for resources to share and I think Josh’s program could be really helpful. I teach introverts about the value of vulnerability which aligns with Josh’s #3 tip to “ride it,not hide it”. If we are willing to step into the emotions without labeling them something scary and just let them “vibrate” (love this!), we can let our true selves come forward. Too many introverts feel pressured to pretend to be who they are not. I experienced first hand the benefit of speaking from the heart and telling my truth. People did listen to me and everything changed for the better.

I am a proud introvert who still gets nervous before public speaking, even though I have done it many times. For me, it feels like I am having an out of body experience. I live so much in my head so when it comes time to literally be seen on stage, I experience a natural disassociation. Opening with a story helps ground me and puts me back in my body.

So, I’ll call this emotion “balloon” and if I start to feel myself float away, I will remember that I have the string in my hand and can pull it back whenever I am ready.

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elyse

This came at such a perfect time!
I have so much fear built around some lindy hop dance aerials and I’m performing this weekend.
I get short of breath, very shaky, and fast pitter patters in my stomach.
I’m renaming this feeling I’M ALIVE!
I’m determined to ride the feeling on stage and rock out these aerials in the performance this weekend. ;)
Thanks for the help and fresh ways of looking at emotions!

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Sally

Great video! I am going to name my emotions from now on and see what happens… When I feel shy, I will call that one, Shazam! That’s a great name. I also have money worries from time to time. They have a definite vibration to them – faster heartbeat, numbing, hot and cold, tingly… I am going to call this Sloozey – kind of slow and oozing away… Let’s see what is possible with this new name. :)

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Martina

Thank you Marie and Josh for the video:)
I have my Jiggle Buzz when I want to present my business – call to client, talk with new customer etc. I feel my throat tight and high vibration which feel like a heavy water drop fall into my heart chakra and then I feel the vriples traveling over my physical body. That is when I turn and dont do what I wanted to do because it make me sick and the thought such us : “no one wants to listen what you offering” or “you not worthet to be your own boss becuase you stupid and don’t know anything” comes.

So I will name my vibration Jigilly Buzz and now I must watch the video again to clearly understood how to get rid off Jigilly Buzz because I am entrepreneur and love to serve with the tools I know:) Thank you.

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Shannon

Marie, (& Josh)
Thank you for todays episode! As usual LOVED it…but this week very pertinant. Been going through some yuck stuff…this helps. So probably my biggest issue (althogh some close friends may argue with only one :)) is FEAR. Sometimes it is in the form of palpatating heart, shortness of breath, but othertimes it is a heavyness, that I feel in my shoulder. I think the name “fabby” seems appropriate…flip that fear upside down! and become fabulous!

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Emanuela

Great Vid Marie! It was so sweet to see you and Josh in action!
My struggling emotion is ANXIETY.
It feels like a loud base speaker banging in my chest. LIke it’s just run a marathon.
I haven’t had this emotion in a while, but next time I do I’m gonna call it “BOOM BOX”

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A

Very zen! ( Complete acceptance. No judgment. Embracing. )

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Anita

Marie and Josh, thank you! I frequently have anxious feelings and this really helped me today! I was able to “flow with the feeling” and used this energy to get things done instead of fighting against and it WORKED, this is really powerful and I will keep trying it. I also kept remembering a previous quote of Marie’s “Losers wait for motivation. Winners just get shit done.”

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Samantha

Awesome video! First off, I love that you and Josh did a video together. I’m always weary about incorporating videos/blogs with my boyfriend, feeling that it may seem to0 ‘mushy.’ The fact is I guess I’m just concerned of what others may think and I need to kick that thinking to the curb!
I LOVE naming your vibes and riding it not hiding it! I have a big event coming up that I will be speaking at and I will definitely be using these tips before going out on stage!
Thank you for sharing. xo

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Beth

I am so glad you are all doing well and so grateful to have you in my life via B School and now Marie TV. This was an excellent episode, one I may even have my children watch. Teaching children about spirituality and emotional empowerment is one of my future goals. :) In my life I have had the longest run with the emotion of fear, and I remember the last time I felt it quite well. While reading a text from my ex husband that included mention of an attorney, I became one with my emotion. My mind spun out of control to worse case scenario (no more financial support), while the atoms in my head and voice as I picked up the phone to call him felt as though they were alone, strained, and up on planet Mars.. far, far away.. while the atoms in my throat closed up, the atoms in my chest heated up to a fiery level and the atoms in the rest of my body felt as though they were floating (the opposite of feeling grounded!) Fortunately, he did not pick up and I was able to experience the emotion and then release it over a nice long run! There’s a couple tools I use to help me with emotions. One is I remember to say “I feel.. (the emotion) instead of “I am.. (the emotion). This separates my true identity (a piece/atom? :) of God/The Universe) from a human body experiencing emotions. And second, I add a visual while experiencing the emotion. Since I know I am not my body/mind, I try to picture myself as a ball of bright white light talking to another light.

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Lisa

Awesome……loved watching this ep.
Thanks Josh coolio.

Describe my vibe, it would go something like this…
The shaking intense feeling of rage because I”m trapped in a human body.
I’m a direct Channel – everyday i communicate with Spirit.
I do this work everyday the Soul is my business and many times I’m in touch with the human limits
and boundaries that the Soul has to experience from the limits imposed by social structures.
Riding this wave is a constant work in process.

love to you both from me and my Soul.

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Diane

Hello, Second time watching your Tuesday Q/A video…captivating. Thanks.
I very much understand the concept Josh is describing and I’ve worked with the notion of vibration understanding that everything manifests through vibration. Josh’s application could be helpful.
My difficult vibration is a tighenting in the upper chest which sometimes descends to my mid-section. I’m going to call it Freeze or perhaps Squeeze or even Squeeze Freeze. You know the feeling when you drink something cold fast! Until very familiar with this notion/concept it takes a while to become aware of the sensation… to listen to it, to identify it, to isolate it, etc. And yes, the Squeeze Freeze does go away and another vibration eventually takes over… if I allow myself to stay with it. Thanks for the thoughtful insight today. Best wishes, Diane

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Sarah Wells

Loved this video! I always talk about feeling vibration in my yoga and meditation classes but only in the context of becoming quiet and still and checking in and then watching how that shifts. I love the idea of taking this into life when we experience the “stress response” and maybe making it into something else – I call this awareness, but building in the experience of feeling vibrations is something I will work with and take back to my students. As a B-school student, I love the depth of what you offer – not what one would expect in relation to “business”. Bringing Josh on helps us see another side of you, Thanks for your authenticity. Sarah

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Alicia

I would like to overcome anxiety and it feels like heavy atoms that are neurotic – originating from my solar plexus and going all “skitchy” til they swarm up into my brain!

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Lorraine

Great video! Loved the tools and witnessing your love for each other and your work (Can I call it work when it looks like so much fun?)

My difficult feeling is feeling overwhelmed. It feels like a leaden yoke pressing down compressing my upper chest and back. I usually decide that I need to either take a break or push on to get something done. But just now I experimented with tuning to this prickly compression and let the typing flow from there. Ahaa! More energy and a deeper sense of myself.

Now to name it. Hmm… Rubber Ball because its density is like energy potential ready to give me a boost. Bong!

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Lorraine

That’s Boing!

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Cheryl

The biggest issue I have is the anxiety I feel speaking in front of anyone, because I cannot remember what I am wanting to say or how to speak – I lose half my vocabulary.

I think my atoms get very confused: The brain ones head down to my feet and every bit of self-doubt and fear, even the ones I know not to be true, rise to the top. Every atom is going a million miles an hour in all directions, I cannot breath, and I am trying to catch something to say rather than just stand there with a dumb look on my face, or blab out the odd word which doesn’t even make sense, because it is just part of a sentence.

Up to this point, I named it hell – sure felt like it. Maybe I need to name it Uni, for universe because my heart and soul likes to speak; and could be the reason my brain cells move out of the way. I will try and let my heart and soul speak and see if that helps. If not, maybe I need a career as a Mime.

Thank you for bringing this up.

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L

Hey Marie and Josh, I have fallen in love with the both of you! What a beautiful couple.
My struggle has always been with confidence. I am intimidated by people sometimes, especially at work! I’ve gotten much better in my personal life (yah!) but I still struggle at work.
I suppress lots of atoms (is that possible?) in my body. Even my fingers and toes.
I’ll call her Confidininini? or Intimidata?
I purchased Josh’s online program this past weekend. I loved it.
Thank you for any thoughts on how to overcome this.

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Michelle H

Marie,
What a great webisode! I have been wanting to call on a real estate deal but have been nervous. Once Josh said to “ride the feeling” feel it and use the energy, it changed how I felt about the phone call.

My emotion is Fear and it feels like a pair of hands around my neck when it is intense. Bad right-imagine how I feel! I hate it. I am naming it CHOKEY.
Appropriate?! Thinking that it is just atoms rolling around and I can feel it for 7-10 seconds then it will be gone is reassurring.

Always enjoy your Tuesday episodes. Going to make the call now.

Signed Breathing freely,
Michelle

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Chrissy

The sensation: anxiety
How it feels: intense buzzy energy, starting in my chest and spreading through my upper body
New name: Candy clouds!

Thanks for the great vid- this is my fist time commenting :)

Love,
Chrissy

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Marie Forleo

YEAH Chrissy! Thanks for speaking out and commenting :)

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Stacie

Wow, amazing timing – I was literally thinking before the episode that I need to get over my stagefright..now I know I can incorporate it into my work!
I’m a singer who hasn’t performed by myself for years (will occasionally perform a duet or in a group). I’ve even stopped looking for ways to practice or perform, because when I do get up on stage to sing, I shake so much, it affects my voice big time!

I just decided/realized that the feeling is like having an eagle trapped in a songbird’s body (me being the songbird, of course :) ). I feel like I have so much to offer, something HUGE needs to come out, but when I make space for that to happen, the eagle starts flapping and squawking, and it’s too intense for the songbird!

So I’m naming my eagle Squawky. And next time he shows up, I’ll ask him what he has to say, what he needs to give, give him his 7-12 seconds, and get on with it.

Thank you so much, Marie & Josh. Now I just need to find my next singing venue (eek!)..
Love,
Stacie

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Andriana

Great video with excellent tips from Josh. I’m definitely going to try these out and see if I can do my first video without freaking out. PS. You two are a super cute couple!

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Dora

I loved this video!
And I watched it at the perfect time also. I will be going to teach a presentation in a couple of days and I have very bad stage fright! Whenever I speak in front of even a small group I freak out.
This vibration/sensation feels like a hot sensation spreading behind my ears and neck and a pressure in my stomach.
I am going to call this vibration ‘crackling’! When I feel it next time I will try your guys technique.

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Michaella Miller

Love me a good challenge! Here goes:

I often feel the emotion of overwhelm. Even saying it now I can sense the physical attributes of overwhelmed. My breathing gets shallow, I feel like my head kinda spins in circles, there is a anxious energy and I want to get up and do something (unproductive) to expel it. The “list” starts to shout out at random in my head, piling on top of each other. I think a good reframe-name for overwhelm will be shoupy doup and when I feel overwhelm coming on, I will declare that I am feeling shoupy doupy and maybe have a quick dance party to clear the voices in my head and then get down to the business of gettin er done!

Great vid – thanks Josh and Marie!
xo
Michaella

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Kate

Loved this, thankyou! And thanks for reiterating one of my *favourite* mantras .. “there is no right and wrong! There just ‘is’” .. love the non-labeling of things being good and bad, it’s just a vibration, or a feeling or an experience. Brilliant.

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Cyndi De Rossi

I absolutely LOVE the techniques in this video to overcome “shyness” or nervous energy! Personally, ANYTIME i have to put myself out there, including simply meeting someone new, my whole body shakes with a really distracting tremor. Because it’s quite an obvious tremor and I am aware others can see it, I usually just say straight up “Wow. I’m so excited to meet you I’m literally shaking in my boots!” This usually results in the other person actually laughing, and it helps me relax and the tremors quieten down. I LOVE the idea that I’m not actually shaking, I’m VIBRATING!!! The visual I get of all my atoms bouncing and jiggling around is totally cool and much less annoying than “shaking”. I’m going to definately use what I learned here today!!! Thankyou!!!

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Juliette

Wow, overwhelming to see all the responses here.

When speaking on a team it can happen that I suddenly get the feeling no one is listening and that my input is not valuable to them. I feel inferior and I get this sensation of tightness below my collarbone and that I have failed all the way. I will name this ‘diamonds’ because it is in the place a necklace goes – not that I have any diamonds to wear…. Who knows, those diamonds might start to sparkle.

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Monique

Thank you Marie & Josh! This video was a game changer for me. I am virtually paralyzed by fear of public speaking and I have a speaking engagement coming up soon. When I have to do these events it always feels like lightning is racing through my chest and thunder is drowning out any rational thought. I am going to call this “Storm” and convert that energy into adrenaline power.

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Rhonni

This. Is. Lovely.
Thank you both so much for putting this together for us in such an accessible way.
The sensation I most want to overcome shows up more when I am at a microphone to ask a question of a speaker than when I’m called upon to speak to an audience. My guess is that it has to do with preparedness.

There are seltzer bubbles in my stomach, and I speak quickly, as if I have to speak quickly enough to let them get out. If you know me, you understand me, but I’ve watched myself on video, and know that I sometimes speak so fast that it can be difficult for strangers to understand me.

The name that comes to me is Fredrick, (I don’t know anyone by that name, but he sounds like someone who would speak calmly.)

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Rhonni

On second glance though, with a name like Fredrick I am still trying to do the opposite of the feeling instead of going with it. Maybe “Bubbles” is a better name.

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Lee Ann McKee

Loved this. Life changing! Can’t wait to put it into practice. Thanks for sharing Josh with us Marie!

My vibrations prior to public speaking manifest as butterflies in my stomach then move onto what i name as FLOATY vibrations. I feel almost like i am in a dream when i speak in public. completely in a fishbowl – with tunnel vision looking at everyone. I eventually settle in, find my groove and get on with it, but each time i speak to large groups, FLOATY comes back.

now back to B-School …

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Danielle

Hi Josh,

I get anxiety when I get closer to people. I’m really comfortable the first few times with meeting a person, but then like a switch I get really anxious and can’t be myself (this inhibits me from building relationships). I tried your technique of focusing on the anxiety to fully be in it today, but found that I was focusing on it instead of the person and making it stronger. Any suggestions?? Thank you SO much for the video, Really appreciate what you do.

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Sheri Keys

Thanks for sharing your man and his knowledge with us. :) Great video and message! xxoo, Sheri

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James Klobasa

Great video…great lesson…great site.

Very professional…big cred to you for that..!

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Lentes Rosas

Great advice!! I especially loved the part about naming the feeling and allowing yourself to feel it. But at the same time I don’t think that trying to relax and doing some exercises to try to calm the anxiety is a bad thing… I mean, for some of us it can be so overwhelming, you can even feel it like a month in advance before doing the action that scares you. So I think that sometimes you do need to start reframing the situation and try to actively relax and stop the irrational thoughts.

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shinazy BOBBblog

Fear of SPEAKING. Fear of WRITING.

My fear of speaking vanished when, at a business meeting with the CEO of a Fortune 50 company I had to shake his hand after he finished his speech. As we reached across the conference table his hand was sweaty.

Here was one of the world’s power men and he has fear of speaking before me.

I keep this imagine in my mind every time I speak before a group.
This was the SHIFT for me. And, it is FREEDOM

Fear of WRITING …
I started a storytelling website, BOBBblog. So, now I must write and it gets easier with every story.

I recommend finding an event in life that provides the SHIFT.

Take the fear-energy and use it as a tool.

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Monica

Soooo, Marie. When are you two gorgeousnesses (?) getting married? I feel like you’ve been fiance’s forever. Just curious :-)

The emotion I would like to get over is worry. I worry about everything! I know on some level everything will be ok and it’s all meant to be, and that we’re just energy.

This worry atoms overpower all my thoughts and positive energy. The atoms feel full in my head (like a balloon about to burst), they are in my stomach as well, and are spinning so fast they get hot. My palms even get sweaty. Probably sweat from those fast spinning atoms in my stomach. lol.

The worry atoms in my stomach are now called: the wooshies. The ones in my head are called ‘shooos’ I think I’ll try those on for a while… ;)

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Cheryl

Well I’ll be a… I am not alone with my struggles. In fact, it looks like none of us are. I will try and remember that many people have some degree of fear, and to be a little kinder to myself.

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Rochelle

Hi Marie and Josh, this is perfect timing for me as i am giving a speech at an intimate wedding ceremony for my two best friends who are marrying each other this weekend.. I will use all of these tools outlined and i am actually LOOKING FORWARD to giving the speech~ ride it dont hide it! rochelle x

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Hannah

Thank you for sharing, brought tears to my eyes. Isn’t new information but I love how you have framed it from your own experiences and the timing!
I have always felt that when I feel nervous before presenting to an audience that it is really important to feel all of that energy and adrenalin, to “let the butterflies fly in formation”/ ride the wave/ and be in the moment with everyone’s energy. It’s way harder for me to walk into a gathering and engage in social chit chat. I dread this, but see the same principal really applies here as well.

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Lisa

Wow! You have no idea how timely this is. I have been feeling these feelings and have been pushing them down and especially in team meetings which of course was messing everything up.

What you said, Marie, about how there is dishonesty in it and how Josh said they can’t read you because the signals are crossed. I absolutely believe in this. I have made adjustments recently and I am reaping the rewards. I have to build trust with these contacts but being genuine and speaking from that emotional energy really is making all the difference.

I will be shazaming this week and weeks to come :)

Thanks again!

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Kathy

For me, the feelings I want to overcome are the anger and fear wrapped together in a ball of “not enough.” I don’t feel that way all the time, but it’s so strong when I do that it’s a challenge to keep it from letting it laying me out. My jaw clenches, my neck stiffens and now I realize why. I’m pretty sure my face contorts, but I haven’t looked to see.

I think they are very heavy atoms, so I’m renaming them “Porky,” because I can’t take anything named Porky seriously!

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Kathy

*lay ;)

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Jen R

Thanks so much Marie and Josh this episode has given me a great idea to help my excited/nervous 10yrs old girl, she is about to go to camp next week and is soooo excited/nervous I think If I tell her about her vibrations and pick a name for them this will work a treat for her when she is away and with the everyday. For myself my vibrations are a churning in my stomach…which I will now call ‘ Wooshka’…bring it on!! xoxo

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Alice

My biggest passion in life is singing. Though, I’m no great talent, I love participating in our church’s musical variety show every year. I know I can sing (when I’m in the house or car by myself!) but when I have to sing alone in front of people, my throat closes up and I squeak! I so want to share my joy in music, but have just not been confident. I love Josh’s advice, and will try to ride the “squeekies” at the very next rehearsal!

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Kristel Hayes

Thank you…for everything you share & do!

The thing I think holds me back: Being overwhelmed when there’s way too much input (aka lots of work to do, or think about, or too many things happening at once)

How it vibrates: exhaustion and lack of focus

What I’m going to name it: “Schnarfie”

We’ll see how it goes next time I’ve gotta ride things w/Schnarfie!

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Anthony

Great Q&A! For me shyness and nervousness in meeting. I feel my heart being lifted and butterflies in my stomach. I have to think of a nickname for this

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Meredith

Thanks Marie!!

Public speaking is something I struggled with tremendously over the last 10 years. I would avoid every possible situation where I would need to speak in front of a group, including simply giving an introduction of myself. My chest would constrict and I actually would lose my breath and could hardly speak! I felt like there was no way I could ever get over it.

Luckily, when I graduated from college I realized I couldn’t avoid it my whole life and needed to face the fear head-on. The one thing I could not possibly imagine myself doing, but also the thing that would excite me most in life was to become a yoga teacher.

I started taking baby steps in that direction, began facing my fear, went to a teacher training and had many opportunities where I had to speak in front of a group. The thing was, I knew I was in a group that supported me, so I was willing to give it a shot.

I think it’s key to practice in front of people who love you no matter what. And each time you take a step it will become easier and easier and you will be able to speak in front of a bigger group. Each little step you take outside your comfort zone provides a huge amount of growth.

Although I still have those nervous “vibrations” come up when I am about to teach a yoga class, I now know I have done it before, I have and will do a great job. The nervousness can actually be exciting!

I encourage all of you to face these fears by taking small steps in the right direction. Thanks so much for this video !

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Audis

I’m not able to see the video : ( can i go some place else to see it ?
thank you!!
Audis

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Tal

An emotion or sensation you’d like to overcome:
Nervousness/Anxiety! It has kept me from trying a lot of things.

Describe that emotion or sensation in terms of vibrating atoms:
It feels like my atoms are buzzing and jumping, and they feel like they’re alternating between feeling lighter and feeling heavier.

Nickname your vibes: I think I’m going to call these ZIPPY vibes! When I usually feel this emotion, I end up not doing anything at all, and so I feel calling them the opposite of what they make me do would help. Love this idea!

Thank you Marie!!

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Amanda

Great video, as always.

But….anger…fist-clenching, throat-closing, beads of sweat on my lip, angry. I cannot imagine, especially as a teacher, just letting that one flow in front of co workers, supervisors, or, above all, my kiddos. In fact, I am certain I would be marked down on an evaluation if that were the case. I think this advice is super for fear, anxiety, pain…but anger? Ride it? mmmmm…don’t see it working, but perhaps I am missing the point.

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Chas

I’ve always had ‘stage fright’. I remember being in a play for a chapter of our local Grange organization when I was no more than 5 or 6 playing a ‘muscle man’. The prop was a wooden flag pole with the two cross stands on each end meant to portray a barbell. As I lifted it one of the stands fell off the pole and one of the actresses in the production rushed out and ad-libbed, saying “he doesn’t know his own strength”, bringing laughter from the audience.
I found Theater and speech class in college did help, but, I certainly haven’t overcome my stage fright. Maybe next time I’m in that situation I’ll try the name game and call the feeling ‘Mavericks’, and think of a Huge, awesome wave~ wonder if this will help?

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Cindi

Great video. I love that I am a vibrator! I didn’t realize that if you just roll with the feeling it will transcend into something else soon.

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Fotini

So glad to see you two together ! I can’ t help not to mention that you look different in a beautiful way when talking to Josh !.. insightfulness + serenity + intelligence -all aligned in a beautilul flow . I enjoyed the way the discussion was done & those qualities reflecting between you 2 !
The topic reminded me strongly of your other video about fear ( the impression of that 1st, one was stuck some time before in my head strongly).
I think my challenge is not public speaking , (I am doing enough of this anyway ). It is interacting better with my public, how to communicate better, to interact better, to understand them better & be more efficient to give them what they need

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Sandy Bobal-Zuniga

I agree, great episode Marie! Thank you for bringing up the concept & Josh’s wisdom. :)

My emotion that I struggle with is overwhelm/anxiety/defeat which encompasses a lot I know but the feelings are the same so I’m grouping them together. The feeling I get is like a static ball just buzzing and all my chest, stomach limbs & head just feel like they are going to explode. I’m not very creative (and an inside joke for my recent health issue) I am going to name this feeling “spectacular” so I can turn it from a negative to a positive.

There ya go…that’s my story & I’m stickin to it. ;)

Hugs,
Sandy

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Natasha

GREAT EPISODE!!!! How brilliant was this?!?!

Anyhow, when I’m in Energy it is like a volcano erupting. Lava, hot boiling lava flowing out and explosions!!! I think I’ll call it Kilimanjaro.

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Brighid

This video was beyond hit the spot this week! Social anxiety is something that I’ve dealt with consistently for 10 years, and I know it has to do with this over-bearing self-consciousness of putting yourself out there. So I love this activity, especially being a little less than 3 months into a new job! I worry so much about how I come off to other people, and know it’s better to be genuine and do my job well. Love the perspective of owning the emotion and recognizing them!

1. Emotion – Nervousness/anxiety
2. Sensation – The atoms feel like a tight buzzing in my heart.
3. Nickname: Tuzzin’ (tight + buzzin’ = tuzzin)

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R. Washington

Oh My God! I must say I absolutely LOVE this video today. I have wanted to ask this very question. I have so many unique ideas but my shyness has held me back. I am on a mission to overcome fear in all areas of my life. I’m finally recognizing and admitting that my shyness has held me back from so many opportunities. Fear of any kind takes steps to overcome.

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Josh Pais

Hiya
Just wanna say – the game is not to overcome fear.
Fear is aliveness. Fear is movement in your body. Fear is aliveness.
What we do want to train ourselves to move away from is the thoughts that we hang out in when we actually avoid the body sensation of fear.
Party with your shyness.
Assume you will always be shy – and so what. Shyness is just energy – use it to create your dreams.
Big Hug
Josh

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R. Washington

Thanks Josh! Your comment is an “Aha Moment” for me. I have to view my shyness from a difference perspective. It is just energy! I have the power within me to pursue my dreams.

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Pettina Stanghon

I’m a big reframer… I’ve had clients shouting at me accusing me of playing with semantics but the truth is when you truly understand the dynamic shift that can happen when you stop labelling certain emotions as GOOD or BAD and IDENTIFY but don’t IDENTIFY WITH an emotion or story (internal dialogue) its MAJOR! It’s also vital when parenting as it helps kids separate behaviour from thier sense of self. When my son Bill was going through a stage of making up loads of stories about school and friends and accomplishments. instead of saying “you’re lying” or you’re a bad boy” we would say “broccoli”.. or “I smell broccolli cookin” and he would know we were on to him and he had an opportunity to shift and not feel shame.
Also love Josh’s “ride it don’t hide it”… great road to authenticity and as Brene Brown says “Vulnerability is the birthplace of everything we hunger for”. People will love you for it. Rock on. xxx

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Melissa

How cute are you guys? Omg! Seriously -you are the sweetest couple. Josh is awesome! Loved the vid -great ideas! I’m going to share this with my classes tomorrow….really great! This really corresponds with what I am teaching to my clients about having to feel your feelings in order to get through them rather than going around them or burying them…. ride it don’t hide it -super.

For moi:
Nervousness to speak in front of large groups
Nickname: Fizzy soda poppy

Going to let my bubbles pop! Rather than trying not to burp in front of the group -ha ha

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martha wilkinson

okay – hold the phone. so, that’s the famous JOSH? that’s so awesome! had no idea he was a hottie actor.
enjoyed watching the trailer.

okay — first minute in …. you’re the dead girl in the hospital, right?

i swear, it looks like you. or, at least your hair anyway. it would be just like you to nab a cameo! a great opportunity for you to play against type.

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Andy

Hi Marie

Great video today. You guys look great together.

I have been a massage therapist/life coach for the past 15 years. I am wanting to expand out into Life/spiritual coaching because I do this in a lot of my session anyway (and I am writing a book). I have found that I have a real fear of putting myself out there in this way. I have hidden behind massage for so long.
I have found that I feel compressed through my heart and back area like there is a tight band all the way around.
Nickname: Smoozy (My body relaxed when I created it) Be open about the fear and not hide behind anything else any more.

Many thanks

Andy :)

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Leslie Frey

Oh, what a gift, you two!

Ok — my emotion is judgment. It feels tightening, heavy, nauseating, dark, prickly. From now on, I will call it, “Frizzactaling.”

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Christine

You guys are like Superpower Twins…
“…in the form of… vibrating atoms…. Activate!” —
I just love you two!

Let’s see….
For me, it’s a lot of fear of losing those I love. I get a tight feeling in my stomach and my throat and I can feel tears trying to push against my eyes. My best friend just helped me name it: “Yeah, sometimes I get the JELLY BEANS!” ;)

It actually happened this morning about 15 minutes after I watched this episode. And, yeah… I just sat with it and noticed it all happen and then let it all go. Whew.

Thanks for the perspective. x

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eve

thank you so much marie and josh for this video. i’m feel extremely grateful to have watched this and know a couple of people I’ll be gracefully passing it on to. personally i struggle with social anxiety. i mentally shut down, sweaty palm, no articulation of thoughts. in bad cases i feel physically ill and like running a marathon would be a better option then entering a crowded room or initiating a conversation with someone new. and i hate running.
i’ve been told to gentle greet these feelings with a mental ‘hello, i feel you, thanks for showing up and reminding me i am alive today, it’s so good to be alive’… something along these lines. it kinda works and like you mentioned the emotion dissipates after a few moments. the trick is remembering to practice it when i need it most.
i really love the idea of naming these feeling, like josh shared i’m going to try that and i think it will go along way in allowing me to become buddies with my atoms. i like shazam. think i can borrow that, it sounds empowering.

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Daniela Eichberger

I’m absolutely loving this video!! Thanks so much Marie & Josh…super cool wisdom! xoxo

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Meredith

Thank you so much. This video was a gift today. I had to go to a meeting at my child’s school and I always get nervous speaking in groups. And it was such a blessing to have this information and use it during the meeting. I didn’t have time to name my rapid beating heart, and butterfly chaos so I stuck with shoshi and thought of you guys. The meeting went really well and I was able to contribute. It was wonderful.

I signed up for B School through Josh’s site and got Committed Impulse for free. I can’t wait to take the course. I’m so grateful and I can’t wait to share it with my children. Thank you so much.

Meredith

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Caroline

Emotion I struggle with the most : Overwhelm

Atoms vibrate like: Tightness in my chest. Can’t get a deep breath. All my cells vibrating at a high frequency. Brain can’t focus on any one thing. Sometimes I’m frozen into inaction!

Name for ma vibes: Fa-snazzle!! :) :) :)

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Caroline

p.s. I’m definitely gonna use this in my yoga classes. You guys should get certified and teach yoga…Ommmmmmmm!!

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Alison Levy

Thanks for this super fresh and heartfelt video Marie & Josh,

Often when Im saying goodbye to a friend or a group of friends (simple goodbyes after hanging out or visiting with a friend I havent seen in a while), a fog-like energy envelops me, it feels like a bad dream that I can’t wake from and I kinda close down from showing my raw sad feelings of saying goodbye. This is fear, similar to going blank when about to give a public speech. Im afraid of getting blubbery and pulling apart from the person!

Ill name this my Blubber (maybe to make it Jewish- My Blubby?).

Ok I can be nice to my Blubby! Excited to try it out–
I love this, thanks!

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Yoli

Just what this caterpillar in her chrysalis needs…

See you in July Josh!

Sending love to you Marie.

Every week — you blow my mind and explode my heart.

Thanks :)

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Christine Thomson

“Emotions are just vibrations in different parts of your body.” I love that! BRILLIANT! :-)

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Kelly Sheets

FAB.U.LOUS!!!!!! I love this video. This is the primary tool I teach every single yoga class. I am so excited to hear Josh speak about this very subject. Thanks so much for sharing, these tools are Powerful.
Kelly

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Kristina

Hi Marie,
Love Josh! I remember him being on one of the Booty Camp calls. His ‘I’m Back!’ technique really helped me learn the art of living in the moment. I still use it to this day when I’m stuck in my head. Good stuff. Thank you both!

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Lauren

Hi great post!

The emotion I struggle with is shyness and the feeling that Im not very articulate. Its usually a warm feeling, I heat up like a mo fo. I’d like to call these little bugger atoms “kepsokalopgus” (that word is from my childhood, it reminds me of my brother doing bombs into the pool!) :)

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Carrie Basak

Thank you Josh and Marie for this video! This has been a huge struggle for me my whole life, hell, I feel nervous just typing this! In my younger days classmates would intentionally embarrass me just to see me turn beet red. If I feel a pause in a conversation I automatically assume the person/people I am talking with think I am boring. My mind shuts down. I need to embrace the heart palpitations, shortness of breath and internal screaming (I’ll call it bashy) instead of trying to tame it and see if my REAL personality shines through!

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Kyle Zimmerman

Oh Marie! Oh my Josh!

First of all, I watched this vid this morning at the dentist office, in the chair, waiting for some surgery. YEOWW!
Oh boy did I have some fear and feelings all over the place.
Your advice to ride it and give it a name was WONDERFUL!
I was able to do that. This particular fear-i-ness was named EEEEEEEEEEE!
EEEEEEEEEEEE! and I made friends and I got through the whole damn thing. FANTASTIC.Thank you and I sure would like to see more of that man of yours, Miss Marie…… on Marie TV of course!
PS B-School is kicking my ASS into heaven! Thanks so much for all the wisdom.

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Charisse Sisou

Oh my gosh! So much emotion welled up for me watching this video–

First and foremost, I could feel the love and respect between you two, Marie & Josh, thank you so much for sharing and much love to you both!

I absolutely loved what you were talking about, how being truly present, truly authentic, is so arresting – I feel it as a performer, and am often looking for new and more and better ways to describe this to my students… And stay true to it myself! Not just on stage, but always. Your audience, no matter whether she is seeing a bellydancer (for example) for the first time or is a longtime aficionado of the art, knows intuitively when there is that disconnect – when the dancer is coming from a place other than that place of deep connectedness, really of radical self-acceptance. The more she revels in who she is at that moment, shushies and all, the more we can’t take our eyes off of her.

You explained this so clearly and simply it took my breath away.

And then talking about vibrations (shimmies!!) and shazam (definition: exclamation announcing an extraordinary deed, story or *transformation*)… well, I just got chills, because that’s me!! Shimmy Shazam!! It was the name that came to me for my business when I decided to stop trying to fit into what was expected of me (yes, there are even conformists in the bellydance world) and be who I am and do what I love which is to dance from my heart, that is, to be myself, and help others to do the same, through movement and dance and silly fun.

My feeling that I’m looking to overcome? The fear of stepping outside my comfort zone to reach more people than in my li’l weekly classes and the occasional workshop… As if I’m all that and a bag of potato chips. That feeling that comes over me every time I start to feel like maybe, just maybe I can do this but instead I want to run and stick my head in the ground like an ostrich. Bury my light instead of light up the night sky with it. It buzzes in my throat, lightning bugs in my tight-closed mouth, fuzzes my head like so much high-pitched static. I nickname this feeling Firefly Static.

Maybe it’s time to swallow the lightning bugs and let *my* butt shine for a change.

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siri jostad

love love love thinking about harnessing the energy of what appears as nerves and using it to go great. So i’m calling my nerves my Sparkley Jets and they will propel me forward in a brilliant shining way.

love love love owning the feeling vs. suppressing it. what a beautiful way to love and embrace who we are in every moment.

josh…you’re brilliant just like your soon-to-be wife Marie.

thank you both.

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Nadia Marshall

Thanks so much guys. I especially loved the statement about ‘who wants to watch a calm speaker anyway?’. So true! … and that the audience always deeply wishes you to do well. I have always been super shy an anxious public speaker but over the last couple of years have begun ‘putting myself out there’, teaching at our health retreats along with my hubby and my Buddhist teacher (who are both awesome, confident speakers)… I usually confess my nervousness to the participants and always receive so much love and support from them… and they often relate to what I have to say better than the boys! Thank you. Love Nadia xx

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Peggy DaValt

Wow, Marie –

As one of your new BSchoolers, I had to come over here to take in Tuesday Q&A and was thrilled, thrilled, thrilled to meet your amazing fiance, Josh!! I agree with all the comments that you two certainly are incredible together. I so appreciate you sharing his talents and gifts with us as well.

Emotion that I struggle with constantly is the fear of not enough money to do everything when I want to….even just pay simple bills all the time let alone build that dream home.. (part of the reason I was driven to BSchool). My mind says that I am blessed and my life is abundant, but when I get close to seeing how much money that I have spent and then have to “limp” to payday, I wonder when I’ll ever get my financial act together?? This is so hard to admit to myself that I just am not a good savvy steward of my money…and I freak out….I get mad, I get angry and ask when am I ever gonna learn to just let go of this “fear” of not enough….

Usually I have a yelling match with my ego and the fear associated with that I thought I did well at during Gabby’s May Cause Miracles, but I find that it rears it ugly head unless I keep at it…..constantly…..

Never thought to name it something…hmmmmm how about MoneyDoesGrowOnTrees to signify abundance and that it is everywhere….if I stop and drop and think that pretend I’m a big ole Oak tree with roots all the way ground into the rich, abundant beautiful earth…….perhaps that will knock that money fear monster to the curb.

You guys are amazing. I’m so blessed that you have both been here and shared what you did. You are brilliant!!

Peggy DaValt
PS – I concur with another comment here…….BSchool is kickin’ my ass…big, big time but I am lovin’ it!!

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Stacey

This episode came at such an opportune time for me! I was feeling nervous about a phone call I have to have this afternoon but now I’m going to ride the vibrations! For some reason I’m fine speaking in public but useless at having to talk on the phone, I usually like to use visual cues from people to direct a conversation. I think I’m going to call them Atom Bombs :)

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Nikki Threlkeld

Loved this video! Super simple and innovative steps!
I struggle with fear holding me back. I always move through it but I can see how this will be much easier now but picturing the fear as moving energy rather than tight bands around my arms and body, constricting my breath and movement. There can’t be immobility in energy! So freeing!

Oh, and let me see, I dub my fear “Zingy”. Feeling Zingy is gonna feel a whole lot better!

Thanks guys!

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Joanne Rose

Hello Marie & Josh

Thank you for sharing your fiance with us today – LOL ;-) Loved this video. Really incredible video. It gives us all a new way of looking at our fears.

I’d like to overcome nerves. The atoms are pulsing. Nickname for it is: Good vibrations :-)

Joanne xo

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the linden method

May I simply just say what a relief to find someone that
really knows what they are discussing on the internet. You actually realize how to bring an issue to light and make it important.
More and more people need to check this out and understand this side of your story.
I can’t believe you are not more popular given that you certainly possess the gift.

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Johnny Boy

I remember a particular episode, when you said “Fear is excitement, with the brakes on.” That rang so true for me this past weekend, because I had to MC for a yearly meeting in front of several hundred people at our community center and I had a blast after my initial bit of nervousness or “sparkiness” i’ll nickname it lol. ^_^

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Elisabeth

LOVE THIS! – and the way you are adding fun to an issue that is often treated very seriously (meaning dull). I struggle with shyness also. It is like my atoms go into fixed positions – like a crystal structure, – like a defence waiting to be attacked. That means no or little action. In addition there are a bunch of highly vibrating atoms (I often call it my heart) that jumps up and down inside the crystal structure, wanting to get out. I´ll call this feeling Abracadabra and I promise to ride it and to magic!

Thank you again, I love your concept. I hope to do BSchool next year so please continue!

love

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Kelvin Kao

I was in a college theater company, so I had the chance of being on stage quite regularly. I started out with some stage fright, of course, but as the time goes by, I realized that there’s still that nervous energy, but it’s more and more replaced by excitement and anticipation rather than fear. I also learned from experience that I could channel that nervous energy into the energy and emotions I need to have as the character. That further taught me that it’s just energy (or vibration, if you will) and it’s actually something you can harness and use instead of letting it limit you.

Quite a different episode today!

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lee

hey! i call mine ‘pow’ its a fear of money(and success) .Whenever a client asks for my rates, i get ‘pow!’ i’ve been doing some work for a beta client and i have ‘pow’ over setting boundaries on what ill do for free,as a beta client, and what i’ll start to charge for. Another client chased me for weeks asking for a quotation ,while i knew i could add value to him, i was unable to put together a proposal including costings coz i wasn’t sure i could get him what he wants, and also coz of ‘pow’!

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Vio

Thanks for sharing this great video. We all feel those vibrations everytime we have to do a speaking engagement, lecture. I recently did one on Sustainability and Sustainable Design at the arts academy where I live. I’ve done a number of them on my work with Amazon artisans as well, and when I’ve had to present a new season collection as a senior designer. The feeling is always there. My greatest fear is that i will forget what I have to say and what I know, because I live and breathe it. But in that moment, I panic! Luckily for slide shows and pictures that i include in most presentations, it makes it much easier to “remember” and share all I need to share. Often, I have tried to “hide” my moments of doubt. But as you both mentioned on this video, in the last one I just let it be and rode it. It feels great when you know exactly how you feel and go with it anyway and ride the wave. I will never try to hide it again. Thanks again!

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Cheptiony Mutai

I love the video content…and the pretty dance at the end…It shows some fun behind the scene!

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Katie

This is so timely, yesterday I had to get up in front of about 40 people who I didn’t know and explain something that I didn’t write. I hadn’t done this for ages so I was re-connected with my fear of standing up and speaking in lots of people.

I get this feeling – heart beats really fast like it’s going to burst out of my chest and I get this numbing in my heart, like a paralyzing / spaced out feeling.

Hmmm I will name this pumping and zoning and next time this happens I’ll let it be and stay tuned.

:-)

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April Adkison

Thank you Josh and Marie!
Awesome conversation. I especially love it when thoughts and emotions are referenced to the physical manifestations we feel. So many times I see emotions labelled as weakness or illogical. We feel what we feel for a reason. Thank you for another great piece on how to really feel fully and for the encouragement to explore those feelings. I love that we have so much to learn simply from our own awareness and interaction with our experiences. Blessings~

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April Adkison

Naming my fear followup:
When I think of the fear I feel when put on the spot or caught off-guard with a question or a comment. I think “deer in the headlights.” So now instead of freezing under the bright-light pressure, I’m just gonna recognize it, see it, feel it, and mosey on. No rush to have the right answer or instantly something clever. I’ll feel “Bambi” and think I’ll lead this situation from here.

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Laura

I have always been afraid to speak in public. I would take the “0″ in school instead of getting in front of the class. As I got older I’ve had to do a few things in the public eye, especially now with my up & coming business. It feels like a panic attack, I try to put it our of my mind and just move on…and it does pass. Not sure what to call it…how about the” shazzies!!”

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susan

Sometimes emotions just get the better of me . .mostly when dealing with family. Will name it Goolabong and it feels heavy! Here’s to surfin’ your molecules!

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Alisa

I found this sooooo interesting! thank you Josh and Marie! I teach piano students who suffer with nerves and your explanation on how to feel those nerves will really change the way I help them. ironically I’ve always ridden the wave of nerves as they come and I’m quite a comfortable performer, however I now feel that I have a better way to explain this concept to others. Thanks!

My emotion is worry and it feels like falling and I’m naming it George (I will practice!)

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molly

Thank you so much for this… I just recently had a public speaking situation (which I am usually very comfortable with). In the midst of it, my topic started bubbling some emotion and insecurity up. For weeks, it has been nagging me like there was some bigger meaning to the situation… why did it happen? did it reflect poorly on me?… now I feel I have the tools to just acknowledge it (out loud) to bring the content and the emotion together, instead of trying to override the emotion to stick to the content.

Thanks again!
Molly

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Ananda Skye

I absolutely loved this Q&A session!!! I am a vibrator! That statement would be awesome printed on a t-shirt. Thanks again for the nuggets o’ wizdom :-)

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Mia

Loved this – Before speaking in front of groups…I get the Buzzy Jitters and increased blood circulation on the surface of my skin, plus a bit of bouncy knees. The yummyness of nerves, excitement and fear of screwing up.
New name I’m gonna use: My BuzzJuice (kinda like my pre-workout power drink)
BuzzJuice – powering up for awesomeness…

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Sara

Hey Marie & Josh! I love the synchronicity of this video. <3

1. I have felt this weird anxiety for the past 2 weeks. I continued to fight how I felt thinking "this is wrong" & must vanish now (the label)!

2. It was an extreme tightening in my chest & felt like panic. Good idea – I'll have to think of a cute nickname. Last night, I showed acceptance to myself for feeling that emotion… even though I really didn't understand where it originated.

3. The sensation disappeared in a matter of seconds. AND I realized I was upset about my dad disapproving my decision to become an entrepreneur. I also realized I was trying to control his response… which is a no no.

There are so many lessons to learn when we take off the judgement of our emotion & let ourselves be! THANK YOU MARIE & JOSH!

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Michelle Sears

Wow Marie you lucky little dog to have been able to spend so much time with such a brilliant man. What great advice. It’s so great that my feel good atoms are vibrating. For so long I’ve been trying to suppress my true self because I have this false belief that I’m supposed to be calm and open regardless of what is going on.

So I’ve suppressed my true feelings and emotions for so long that I almost forget who I really am. I am a vibrator and these atoms of mine are doing what they’re supposed to do and all I have to do it just ride them out. What a much better what to experience and enjoy life then trying to hid every damn thing that I tell myself that is bad. What a relief to know that I can just ride it out instead of hide it.

The emotion/feeling I struggle most with is the anxiousness I feel when I’m trying not to overeat. I start freaking out and tapping and talking myself through it. It’s really quick crazy.

I get all wiggling inside like I have little worms crawling all over inside of me. It’s a very uneasy feeling. Like I’m going to crawl right out of my skin.

I will nickname it fuzzy wuzzy because that is how I feel on the inside and I will commit to riding it out.

Woo Hoo, I really loved this video.

Much love,
Michelle

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Deirdra Storm

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have always had the feeling of vibrating energy, too much for my body to contain. I always equated it with fear, guilt and panic but yesterday that all changed after watching your video! I don’t know where the belief that the feeling was negative came from but by re-framing my perspective I see where I have lived in “terror” for far too long. I gave it a better and more appropriate name ~ Inspired Space, and I took it to the streets yesterday. As the feeling would wash over me I called it by name and it reminded me that I was to share that inspiration energetically with the World. By opening up my space and allowing the energy to move my panic dissipated and instead of cycling negativity I experienced the Joy of being out in the world. Once again, Thank You!!

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Justine

As always this was addition to my Tuesday. I’ve taken on a new role at work and with this new role I feel a tightness in my chest, a cloudyness and closing in my throat.

I feel like I am going against the flow at the moment because this is definitely not me living my dream but instead of fighting the feelings I’m going to name them and pray my purpose will be revealed to me.

Soon as I do I’m signing up for RHH B-School!

I’m going to name these vibes Wheezy

Thanks for this Josh & Marie.

Sending you light and love xx

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Marianne

I love these ideas of science, emotion, fears-transformed-to-creative-fuel + dance all REMIXed, keep it comin’ Marie!

P.S. You & Josh make such a CUTE couple!

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Mara

Great video, but what’s with the ghetto strip club moves at the end, ladies? How degrading and sad. Women do it to themselves.

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Nancy

Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

** Anxious*** sometimes I feel anxious or impatient, ‘the wait’ as i call it. I feel it in my upper chest near my neck/throat. Sometimes it may even bring on tears and quicken my breathing. If I’m sitting when I feel it, I often get up and walk around and if I’m standing and feel it I’ll sit down and focus on my breathing. Sometimes I even put music on and sing along–shift me to happier feelings. Its never overwhelming, I just would rather not let it take over my thoughts and distract my focus on what I’m trying to work on.

Going on over to Josh’s website to find more of the goodness there!!!

Cheers!

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Melissa

Wow! This was so refreshing for me! I am going through huge growth right now and I get anxiety around these big changes. I am really tired of people thinking anxiety is negative! It has pushed me to the edge of some huge recoveries and revelations in my life! Thank you, thank you so much Josh and Marie! :) I am going to call my energy ‘ The Whiz’ because it feels so much like a whizzy, dizzy energy AND it is brilliant! Therefore I deem it the ‘Whiz’ short for the wizard! Love it, Love it! You are brilliant Josh! What a gift you’ve given me today! :) <3

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Marilee

Love it! Isn’t it the best when we can work with people that we love?!
As for me…I struggle with feeling anxious, and nagging thoughts such as, “so much is expected of me and there isn’t enough time to do it all!”. When I feel anxious, I feel a weight in my stomach and head, like a heavy bouncing vibration. From now on, that heavy, bouncing feeling will be known as “funbuns”!

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Catharine

The emotion that I struggle with most is embarrassment, or perhaps more accurately, fear of embarrassment. I start to feel very tight in my stomach and chest when I think about doing something that I might not do perfectly. I’m going to nickname these vibes Slammin’ so when I feel like this, I can tell myself I’m feeling Slammin’ and it will sound like an awesome thing. Thanks Marie and Josh!

P.S. I saw myself in the background of the clip you showed from the committed impulse session at RHHLive. So fun! It was a great session.

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Kelly

I really enjoyed watching this video! Josh had some really great things to say. I have always been one to get all worked up over speaking in front of a large group of people. It is something that I have never been able to get used to. I would say my atoms are bouncing and pulsing and maybe even a heavy feeling throughout my whole body.

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Laura

Fear…I struggle with fear in every aspect of my life. Livelihood-wise I have so many ideas and then feel paralyzed as to how to start. And then I guess it’s fear that stops me from starting because it either might not be good enough, what I envisioned or I won’t continue/complete.

Another aspect I have fear about is how others may or may not react to me and a decision I need to make in saying no…particularly with certain family members. I hold myself responsible for their feelings. For example if I’m asked to do something that I am not available to do and I say no. I worry about their anger say. And if I’d say yes they won’t be angry or frustrated with me. But saying yes wouldn’t be good for me for whatever reason.

I’m beginning to come out of it as far as going ahead and saying no even though I still worry before and after I say no about how they feel about it or even what they might say behind my back. Like that triangulating thing…my sister has a tendency to go to my mom about her frustrations with me.

I get anxiety attacks and feel the fear in my chest and in my stomach. As for a name…well I’ve never been very good at naming things, but I’ll call it lightening…as in thunder and lightening.

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Juliette

I have gotten better at public speaking but in business development and putting myself out there I get that ‘sick’ feeling in the pit of my stomach that is more intense in the morning when i wake up and in the night just as I am going to sleep. You know, like I ate something that was a bit off… #nauseous

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LaDawn

Love this video..I was feeling fear and anxiety this afternoon, turned it into a Shazam moment and its gone! Thanks :-)

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Michelle Leivan

Pain and the emotions, frustration and anger that go with it – that is one of my big hurdles. I have Fibromyalgia and I have it managed much better today than I did even 3 years ago. 90% of the time I manage it “If I don’t mind it don’t matter” attitude. I am quite astute at ignoring it and not giving into it… It is kinda like that annoying neighbor that keeps the noise up really loud on a regular basis. Part of my ritual for when it gets bad is that I’ll stop what I’m doing and say to it… “Okay! I hear you, you need to relax because you’re not helping.” But on occasion it takes over and I crash and burn for a day or so… very frustrating. I have never thought about embracing it or even nicknaming it because I always want to just ignore it or give it a moment of lip service. I’m going to have to give Josh’s suggestion of being in the moment and embracing it as part of who I am and maybe that energy will shift to something positive…. Hmmm. Now what to name the meanie something positive? Anyone have any suggestions?

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Andrea

Michelle,

I also struggle with fibromyalgia, but since I learned that it’s likely caused by a build-up of toxins in the body that we are particularly sensitive to, I’ve eliminated anything I can from my life that has harmful chemicals in them (perfume, smoke, renovations, make up, cleaners, air fresheners, commercial lotions, etc.).

Six weeks ago, I also COMPLETELY overhauled the way I eat, removing all disaccharides from my diet; at least for now. It’s called “The GAPS Diet”. I’ve lost my bloated feeling, I have twice as much energy, and have reduced my pain by about a third, and it’s continuing to improve.

I know it sounds like a commercial, but it’s really true. Please feel free to message me through my facebook page if you want to chat about it. :)

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Johnny B

The feeling is like an orchestra tuning up and making all that unpleasant noise. Since my first experience with that was as a kid, watching cartoons, and the conductor I picture is that famous rabbit, I’m going to call that feeling ‘Bugs’. Getting out in front of people, I’m just going to need to tap the baton and get ready to kill it.

This was huge. I’ve been following for just a couple of weeks, Marie, and I’ve been eeky about commenting. Bugs, I guess. Thanks so much to you and Josh for breaking it down to the atomic level. It flipped a switch for me, for sure.

Much love and respect.

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Renata

Hi Marie and Josh, I have been struggling to get rid of the rejection sensation that has come after things with a flirt didn’t go as I wanted them too. The feeling, “atom-wise” is like a crushing of myself together, it pulls be back somehow. I have acknowledged it and tried the “ride it” suggestion, but the feeling still comes and goes. I try simply to change my focus every time it comes again to the things and people that I love. Thank you

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Adey Bell

Marie,
I just got turned onto your website and work from my best girlfriend and I have to say I am so excited to be a part of your high energy passionate videos and newsletters!
I am a one woman show, pianist/vocalist composer, slash entrepreneur being the CEO of my company in the independent music world, and the music “business” has turned upside-down in the last few years creating so many new opportunities and also a lot of fire under independent artists’ asses!
I get scared of how huge my job seems and also get filled with doubt around how the hell will I get my music out there – I feel like the world is too huge and I’m “not good” at promoting myself.
The VIBE is heavy, like the world is sitting on my chest.
I’m going to name it Bertha and try riding her and all her immensity and see if she changes, gets lighter, or what….

Thank you again, this video was so great.
So much love to you and your man!

Adey

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Liz B

Hi Marie and Josh,

Really loved your video today! Thank you!! Always perfect timings!

I have this feeling of anxiety to really prove myself to people. Recently I was in a small meeting with the company I work for, I left the company for a break to complete my final year of my PhD but this was a huge disappointment to my boss. Since then I have completed my year and returned to them, but I still feel this disappointment from my boss and now I feel like they are always testing me and waiting for me to step away again – I feel like there is no trust yet, or that they don’t fully believe in me.
I committed myself to a PhD first, and this is a huge completion to do, but yet I feel that they were let down by my actions. Now each meeting we have, when we are discussing future plans for the company, I feel like my voice does not deserve to be heard yet and I haven’t earned the trust and respect from my co workers and boss to speak up.
I feel like I am waiting always for their approval when I do something, and I am sad when I dont receive praise, and feel like I am not good enough. I describe my feeling as a ah-ah-ah feeling, a tightness in my chest, shortness of breathe and I suddenly feel very anxious in the chest and want to bring up all the emotions of the past and tell them I am here, I have a voice, please trust me, and please believe in me. I feel like if they gave me more encouragement and valued my opinion, I would feel relief and find my place again amoungst them.

Thank you so much for getting me to describe this out load!! So therapeutic!! You rock Marie+Josh! xx

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Caroline

First of all: The two of you are such a truly beautiful couple! What an amazing interview between fiancees!
Of course I don’t like public speaking at all and very shy about it. I am trying to get over it :). Telling myself that I am really to old for that fear.
Well….my heart is pounding like crazy almost jumping out of my chest, I feel really hot-especially in my face, my voice seems to choke and disappear, my mouth gets dry, my hands are sweaty. Maybe I could call it “Crazy Heart”.

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Noelle

The emotion that I am always struggling with involves tears. This can happen when I’m really happy, really sad, angry and especially nervous. It feels like a warm sensation that starts in my throat and builds behind my eyes before a tear tsunami happens. I don’t mind crying at home or with friends, but when I’m speaking passionately about something, like with my son’s teacher, or with my boss, the last thing I want to do is cry!!! I don’t know what to name my tears, and I get so focused on suppressing them, that it makes it worse. help.

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Peggy

This was great.

I have become acutely aware of late that I am crippled and stimied by the feeling of not being good enough. It’s got to go away, but it creaps into every aspect of my life.
In terms of a vibration, I’d say the atoms are so tightly wound and electrically scattering and clouding everything that is calm or centered in my being.
Ok, I just took a couple of minutes to really get grounded and to truly feel that feeling and I must say it’s like a heavy cloud drapes over me and blocks me from all of the brilliance around me.

If I were to name this heavy vibe, it would be BuzzKill.
Not really looking forward to hanging with BuzzKill – kind of wish he’d eff off. Perhaps I need to think of another name that could actually want to hang with…..

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Catherine

What I’d like to “overcome” is shame when I talk to others about what I’m building. It feels like a knot in my throat that I can’t swallow – wedged in – hard, and heavy and it feels like it grow bigger as it vibrates. I’m nicknaming it “Bumpy”. I do get “jitters” when I talk to a group in a workshop or class but when I “ride it” my passion really comes out and those listening have always been kind. That’s not the same as talking about what I’m building, though. This is the first time I’ve written both points out – I’m seeing potential for making ‘friends’ with Bumpy. Great video and I listened to Josh’s free 4 step audio – loved it. Thanks so much!

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Monica

I struggle with feeling like a fraud and why would anyone take advice from me because I’m not really a pro…

It feels like a constriction in my chest, a heavy cloud that descends over my head and shoulders.

I’m going to name it Fester, so when I get like this I can say I’m “Festering”

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Sunita

I’m an actor as well here in NYC (and saw on IMDB I have the same birthday as your awesome actor fiance – Gemini/Cancer cusp hayyyy!) and I too face the feeling of nervous jitters. The thing is I really KNOW I can do the job and I think the joy of being a full-time working actor gets in my way sometimes because I am so excited for the opportunity the joy starts zig zagging everywhere yet at the same time I don’t want to “Blow It” and lose the opportunities of working in the future. Maybe it’s previous teachers telling us things like “This is your one and only chance to get in the room.” Negative mantras. I’m off to a workshop with a FOX casting director right now so I’m going to use your ‘shushie’ and ‘shazaam’ to see if those works. Thanks so much for the awesomeness Marie!

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Stephanie

It was so nice to see such a genuine power couple explaining and expressing how you personally overcome fear or nervousness! I really got what josh was saying in relation to vibrations and energy.
I only just last week, had to present In-front of a board of directors and managers, pitching a proposal that I have been designing and developing for a long time, it meant so much to me, not only my passion for what I was presenting, but also my delivery and public speaking and hoping that all the nervous bubbles that I was feeling inside would come across as positive energy and not a flat fizz!
I was so nervous before hand I was literally sick, I was struggling to focus and my body was shaking. It is this stage of presenting that I need to turn around. After listening to Josh and thinking about positive nicknames, I’m going to call this stage of my preparation shafizzle feelings flowing through me and smile.
Once I’m in the presentation room and presenting, if I’m truly prepared, I’m usually just fine and the right feelings and expressions come out the way they need too.
Thanks again Marie for all your energy and vibrations, everything you do makes me so happy :)

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Grace

Now this was a great lesson! I love them all, but the idea Josh shared of letting yourself be authentic, no matter what you may be feeling, is simple but profound. I really got a lot out of it. Thanks, guys.

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Lynn

Hi all!

Here are my three responses:
1. Self doubt and shame.
2. Constriction in my throat, chest and stomach…and if it’s really bad, everywhere.
3. Wonky, cuz it makes me feel all wonky.

Great to read everyone else’s comments and realize how common these sensations are. Thanks to Marie and everyone here!

Lynn

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Kelsey

What a lovely post! Thank you so much!! Happy vibrating, indeed.

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Justin Phillips

Hey Marie and Josh, Thank you for this great presentation.

I would really like some help with this one. I suspect it may effect many men, as we seem to internalise how we “deal or sometimes suppress” our emotions, somewhat differently to the Ladies.

I get that I am a vibrator and all emotion is energy in motion, and I am trying to understand how to transform my emotional state when I feel numb with certain emotions.

When I feel emotions around disappointment/perceived injustice/perceived inequality/betrayal, I get “blocked” and loose my sensitivity to my “vibes”. I seem to drift off in a numbness state. My thoughts become blurred, I loose presence, and my action slows down. My body feels numb and lifeless. (bummer of a behaviour pattern really – lets bust it!)

SO very keen to “overcome / transform” this one.
I find this state quite different to the “riding the waves of fear/anxiety” which I get and can do most times.

Any thoughts would really be appreciated…

I Love Your Work, Thank You ;-)

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Lindsay

“I’m sha-zammin’!”…..still cracking up. LOVE ya’ll….xo

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Melissa Cassera

LOVE this episode Marie! I’m a huge fan of Josh and feel privileged to have taken his Committed Impulse intensive weekend last month in LA. It was seriously life changing. Happy to hear his advice again in this video – you two are the dream team!! <3

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elena

Been renaming my feelings this week since the Josh interview about public speaking. Hmmm. I caught the *Sure-honey* energy and nipped HER in the bud!…She is the one who patently screams at me, tells me to get it together and hurry up about it. How stupid and slow are you? She usually brings me to a grinding halt and I completely forget what I’m trying to accomplish as I circle like a rodent. Mindfulness techniques are needed here.

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April Rice

Thank you so much for sharing this. Marie – first and foremost you are a delight to watch and learn from. Your heart is apparent, and it’s what sealed the deal in my decision to enroll in B-School. Josh – thanks for communicating simply from your heart, for sharing your story, and of course for using your hands in place of words! It was incredibly helpful and encouraging. The dynamic between the two of you is beautiful. Congratulations. It couldn’t have come at a better time. Tomorrow night I will make a presentation to my largest audience yet. I want to come from my heart space, although sometimes that spirity feeling comes over me and I get so excited I lose track. Spirity is my nickname for this energetic rush I get. It has a little fear tied in, although now I feel confident I can look at this another way and embrace vs. fight it. Thanks again. I’m so grateful for being a part of your community. ~ April

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leigh

My sister’s big orange cat is named Shazam. :-D

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Elise

Cool thank you Marie, i am new to your website and i am loving your style.
I fear public speaking and i usually feel like a heavy pumping in my chest as well as an overall heat and vibration, i decide to call these my douf douf…..hihihi so funny,
thanks

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Linda Whitman

I like public speaking (thank you Toastmasters!), so that’s not really an issue. But when I get to something I don’t like (phoning strangers comes to mind), I feel something akin to the butterflies before a speech, only I perceive them as negative. Both feelings are similar enough physiologically, though, that I think with a reframe, they will be alike. So, going from a sinking feeling with no bottom, and an echo of schoolyard taunts about not being able to do it, to a swirling, excited, bubbling up feeling with the applause of my friends (doesn’t matter that there may be no bottom, since the energy will be going up!)… I think I will call it “Sparkle.” That also happens to be my sorority name.

So, when I’m Sparkling… I am being truly me!

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Joanna

1. In the way emotion: Fear/insecurity!!!
2. Feels like: frozen, hide n seek, don’t breathe and no one will see you
3. Nickname: The Deer In Headlights!
I pledge to embrace my inner deer :) and appreciate how aware I am in that unseen moment. Be dear to my deer :) New mantra? “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn about your fear.” ;)

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Bella

Hiya Marie and Josh,

Marie you’ve spoken so highly of Josh glad to finally meet him! :-) Thank you for this topic today. Emotions are so powerful. IONs of powerfully charged packets of fuel and energy. Loved your insights Josh on embracing emotions and turning them into pure energy rather than hindering blocks and self-sabotage. Such a helpful subject, ran into this block today so thanks for the reminder!

My answers:

1. Fear/worry not enough or can’t handle it all
2. Firecrackers in my heart and solar plexus
…..
3. Let’s do this :-) Time to rock n roll!

This MarieTV epsiode reminds me of a poem I wrote in 2007 on embracing emotions fully and turning them into to powerful energy and fuel:

Let It Feel Good

Embrace the intensity pulsing through the body.

The fear, heartache whatever it may be.

Feel the fire inside and around you.

Open up to it and breathe it in, embrace it like you would an orgasm.

The heat of it.

Letting it build fully in every cell.

Feeling the rush of euphoric pleasure when it is releases inside you.

Be with the Energy – all the sense it enlivens.

Like an electric fire breathe it in, don’t shy away.

Don’t try to avoid it, distract yourself or try and numb the pain.

Don’t make excuses or try and blame it away.

Feel it all as much as you can.

Transform it into pure energy and power.

It’s a gift. Use it.

Let it feel good.

:-)

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Patrick Strange

Really liked what Josh said about these certain emotions not being bad or good. There’s just emotions. renaming was good also

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Tanya Whelan

Hi Marie and Josh,

1. Injustice – when people are lying or trying to cover up wrongdoing regarding something or someone I am really passionate about.
2. My body starts to shake with emotion and I find it really difficult to hold my composure, my eyes tear up and my voice is shaky – I feel like I am not in control of my emotion.
3. I think I will try the nickname… Sherlock Holmes – yes that feel right. I know when the vibrations start – Sherlock Holmes is here to getting to the bottom of things!!

This is a powerful tool – thank you both very much xx

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Jane Philpott

Love this video. Yesterday I went for a job interview and I felt very nervous – I guess it was fear. My atoms were tightly packed and surging in all directions, like a murmuration of starlings – but I visualised them as rocket juice and by the time I reached the interview room I was powered! Thank you Marie and Josh. Xx

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Louise Carsen

Hi Marie – Love the work you’re doing. I have been following you for a month or so and you have absolutely inspired me to stop ‘planning’ my business and start ‘doing’ my business without worrying about making it perfect. I just watched your episode with Josh and what a God-incidence! I am putting on a Wellness Workshop this evening and am feeling nervous about speaking in front of people ‘what if they think it’s a load of rubbish? what if they think I don’t know what I’m talking about? what if someone asks me a question and I don’t know the answer?. Well I will henceforth be known as ‘Shazaam’.

You set a challenge – my fear in lots of situations (not just public speaking) is that someone ‘more intelligent/knowledgeable/has lots of MA, MSC, PHD (whatever) letters after their name will ‘Out’ me and with a patronising, knowing grimace will say….

So my nickname for this is ‘Specialist’…more on this another time!
Louise at The Amazing Company

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Bridget

OMG Love Josh! What a dude. You’re an awesome pair.

I’m going to test out the 7-12 seconds thing next time I’m freakin.

It kinda sounds like how people say that in dreams, just as you’re about to die (fall off the cliff, crash the plane) something happens in your dream to re-route you and prevent you from actually ‘dying’…so if you’re having a bad dream apparently you’re just meant to ride it out and see what happens…

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Elizabeth Darcy Jones

Might have heaps on my plate with B’School but always time for Q&A Tuesday!

What a brilliant episode…shared with family and friends.

I have a crowd of named angels but my new noisy team of ‘demons’ are angels in disguise. Their names?

Angry Andrew, Livid Lavinia and Overwhelmed Ophelia. This is going to make my partner’s life so much eeeeeeeasier when I say ‘Darling, I’m just meeting with Andrew for a few moments’ or ‘I’m feeling Ophelia right now!’

I also feel a poem honoring Josh coming on… My Welsh ‘Myfanwy Muse’ calls…

Thank you

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Elizabeth

Dear Marie,
This is a big deal for me. I’ve always been shy. I am also extremely sensitive, and although I think this is what also helps to make me a capable artist, my inability to overcome the anxiety associated with shyness has also prevented me from making my way in the very competitive profession of fine arts painting. In graduate school I was unable to speak up in front of my professors and defend my work as an artist. I had a major anxiety attack and have spent years trying to overcome the way this affected my confidence when I had to drop out of school because of it. As an artist, I have to be ready to promote my work and believe in myself and what I do! I’ve also been single for nearly 10 years because I have been unable to talk to people I do not know. I am going to find your book for that one:) I am ready to start living my life instead of just watching it pass me by and when I found your videos I knew I’d found the answer!!! I have made more progress in the last 2 months of hearing your wisdom than I ever thought was possible. I wanted to thank you so much for being a guiding light for me as I make my journey to a life of abundance, joy, living my passion, and above all, fearless love for others. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

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Gwen

Presenting/selling my ideas, as an interior designer, either architects and clients can be a challenge for me. Some will look at me and think that something is wrong. I have this angry look when I’m nervous or just concentrating. Annoying and it gives off the wrong impression.
I’m gonna have to name it “The Stooges”.
I love that I should just ride the emotions out and not have to pretend that I’m calm. Thank you Josh. And worrying about what others is just so absurd, and has prevented my growth in so many ways.

Thank you Marie.

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Blaine

I love all Marie TV episodes, but this one was golden. I usually feel a general ‘shrinking’ and tight feeling in my chest when I speak in front of people (even just more than one person), as if I’m trying to be less noticeable so that I will be less ‘judge-able’.

I already started saying “I’m back” just last night, and I was totally shocked at how much more I felt I inhabited my body. Crazy exciting; this is not only great for my business but for my easing my ability to relate to friends, family, and people I meet. Thank you Josh and Marie for bringing such eye-opening value to us peeps ;)

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Molly Patrick

love, love this episode!
Thank you Josh and Marie.
I almost dropped out of college when I found out that I had to take a public speaking class. My “fear” has been that bad. I ended up going through with it and on the day that I was scheduled to give my first speech, I literally lost my voice! I had to re-schedule for the following week. I had worked myself up to the point of actually not being able to talk to get out of it.
To this day the thought of getting in front of an audience scares the crap out of me so I really appreciate this advice. What a completely new and refreshing way to look at it.
I think I will call the butterflies in my tummy and hard banging in my chest “flickers”.
Thank you again for this potentially life changing video. I am scheduled to do a cooking demonstration for 10-20 people next month and I will absolutely use this advice!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
xo
Molly

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Valita

I really liked this episode. I have also experienced issues with public speaking; however, mine were pretty severe – shaking, hives, and then I would literally pass out. This severly inhibited me emotionally and professionaly – at least in my mind. I even paid a couple thousand for hypnosis sessions to try and alleviate the symptoms. I finally discovered some beta-blocking medication that slows my heart rate before any formal presentation at work. It’s gotten better over the years, but I still see it as a thorn. This episode helped me stop looking at it in such a bad light.

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Stefania Delprete

Guys, I love you both! Today I’ve just talk about my thesis in theoretical physics (wow Einstein?!)

1. And this bring also to the emotions that I want to “overcome”, or better to ride.
I feel like I have strong messages to share with the world about natural eyesight improvement and well-being in general, social enjoyment and stuff relates and Physics and scientific learning.
I have to say struggled to put them together I’m running EyesResort.com, I am a Science tutor and I continue to offer suggestion on science, well-being (eyesight, vegan/raw stuff, deep relaxation). I struggled to find a common field where it was that simple: me. Then I created Berry Brains, and there is yet a lot of vibration inside me when I approach the whole view, that’s why I am little still right now.

2. I definitely know we are compose my atoms and it’s really a big issue in the research I am looking for. Physics and healing. Ah! Ok, just speaking about the sensation that I fell. Atoms made of quarks, electrons around, I lot of space and natural movement, huge number of interaction and the interconnection of everything. I fell like I have all the resources of the universe :)
The giant force that keep the quarks together in the atoms, and I have it inside me, thinking about that emotion, it’s like a super-power that it’s waiting to be express.

3. And now the nickname, I really need a nickname because I don’t know I a normal word even exist for that :P
So I will call it the “Super-gate mood”. Yeah, sometimes I am in the super-gate mood, or I am “supergatty” (that sounds something like Cat Woman in Italian… I like it :D)

PS: yes, I am still curious about the specific research field of Josh’s dad :)
PPS: I am following B-School and my ideas about the business get clearer and clearer. Wow, lots of input that I am reviewing, thank you a lot.

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Stefania Delprete

Sorry for all the typos!!! It touched me, I was deeply into the sensation.

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Oxana

Thank you Josh and Marie for an amazing video and great tips. A have very strange situation happening in my life-when I was a lawyer I was ok with public speaking and putting myself “out there” at the court, but now, when I am having my own bossiness and it’s completely different from what I did before, I star having this freezing emotions, fear of “putting myself out there”. I guess that Lawyer me was just representing “clients view out there” and now I have to show my true self and I am kind of nervous. But I do agree with Josh, that if you speak from your heart it gives you power and helps with emotional vibrations. So I am going nicely call my emotions-Frizzy and do things from my core, my true self.

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Astrid

Hi Marie,

Thanks for this video– loved it. I was a bit distracted by how adorable you and Josh are:)

I often speak to my clients about this idea of viewing “feelings” as “vibrations” instead and I appreciated hearing Josh’s perspective on this.

So life-affirming to be invited to accept shyness or stage jitters instead of feeling compelled to hide these feelings in shame.

Thanks again

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EVELYN GRESHAM

I FEEL FEAR OF FAILURE OR PEOPLE NOT WANTING TO WORK OR BUY FROM. IT FEELS LIKE A BURST THAT NEVER ENDS. MY VIBE IS BAM!

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Stephen

I struggle to overcome the sensation of not feeling like enough. So the vibrating atoms feel like hot pockets in my throat and cheeks. I will name this feeling hot pocketttts yum! and i will ride it!

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Jenny

I really struggle with anxiety and shyness. I know that when I first meet someone I just hide in my shell and don’t bother showing my real personality. I think its because I am ultimately afraid of rejection.

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Jade

This video is speaking to ME! I have a huge problem with public speaking. I want and posted on my website to hold workshops in my boutique but have cxl three times in row because I can not overcome this fear of speaking, not being good enough, or that they are going to out me a a fraud. My fear feels like a heart pumping, stomach turning roller coaster that I get off right after before they put the lock over your chest. I don’t allow myself to feel it or ride it out because I feel out of control. Its not a good feeling at all. I am going to try my best to overcome this because I know my purpose, destiny, financial freedom is tied up in this. I am going to call my fear “moojew”. The next time I start to feel the “moojew” I am going to allow myself to feel it and ride it out. Thanks Marie & Josh

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Noni

Hi! I love watching MarieTV! Even as a college freshman it helps me to figure how to be my own woman in such a stressful time. To respond to your challenge:
1. Whenever I meet up with friends, I have this notion that I need to look perfect. My makeup needs to be right, my stomach needs to be sucked in, & my laugh needs to be the right pitch & length.
2. I notice now that I hold my breath when I act like this. My chest fills like a ballon about to pop, my stomach is tight, my throat feels constricted and my heart flutters fast.
3. I will nickname this vibration “Soda-poppin’” cause it’s exactly how I feel especially when my heart’s beating fast.

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jackie

O mah gawsh. Im performing some poetry tonight and I needed this!

My nervous vibes are now: Babooshka
And they feel like fingers running up and down the back of my neck and head. Kind of sexy now that I think of it.
Merci Marie & Josh.

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Adrienne

I totally understand shyness or nervousness when you are public speaking or performing. I used to get so nervous & worried that I thought I would have a panic attack! But when I realized there was no turning back, I jumped into it and the nervousness turned into this wave of energy that I would ride on the entire time I would be speaking or doing a reading. I like the idea of giving it a special name. Because that intense energy is a good thing & is the fuel that gets you in the moment and your creative juices flowing!

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Noel

Hi Marie,

The topics you cover always come at the most opportune moments. I am currently planning my first ever solo adventure in India and I am definitely freaking out :-)

My whole thing is Panic/Nervousness: I want to have planned enough packed enough and to be prepared enough.

I get sweaty palms, tingly skin and the ‘Is it hot in here?’ feeling (no, not the Nelly kind). And I feel like every inch of me needs to be doing everything, all at once. And have it finished yesterday.

I think i’ll call it “ElectroCute” and just ride the tingles out.

I love the thought pattern of not treating it as a bad thing and just being with the feeling. I’m trying it out as I write and it’s working!

Thanks for your awesome videos!

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Elena

Noel…It was years ago that I went and at that time the best things to know were: have at least ONE LONG SKIRT…so if you have to *go* along the way…you can do so relatively privately. Bring TP. Eat only HOT FOOD and bottled water. If climbing in the mountains, you will not get lice if you always keep your hat on with your hair in it (even while you sleep)! Do not give money to the poor or they will taunt you forever. They still may snub you at restaurants if you are female with no mate…I wonder, but be ready. And ask other travelers how much things like rickshaws and taxis (should) cost.

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ravit kanari

I am recovering from a major surgery and sometimes i get grumpy and frustrated with a little bit of fear that it will never end…:)because i just want to get back to my “regular life”. It is kind of itchy…so i am calling it “Gummy Litchi” . and it just makes me lough…

Love that episode and wisdom.
all the best to you both!

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Madeleine Mary

What a team! Thank you both for this insight into shyness.

I almost get embarrassed just recognising how shy I am… the feeling for me is hot and prickly and always comes up when I am feeling judged or when I get stuck for words. I’m going to call it cactus!

And next time it comes up I’m going to try and remember that no pricks judgement can really hurt me. Ha ha

Maddie x

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Emma

Thank you so much Marie and Josh for this wonderful shift of perception!
To answer your question, my shyness and fear feel like my stomach is melting, a sinking feeling that makes me sick. I visualize it as hot lava in my gut and at the same time as if I am falling! LOL
So I suppose could call it ‘sinking lava’!
Actually trying to experience this feeling right now, without the perceptual label of something unpleasant and frightening, it feels quite orgasmic!LOL
So I think I will call it ‘orgasmic lava’ and next time I experience it will try to enjoy! Forever indebted to you both! :-)

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Stephany Steele

Great q n’a!

The feelings and vibrations that I get are the racing heart, butterflies in tummy and the kind blanks. It’s related to spontaneity which is super frustrating. To reframe it I shall name these vibrations: jet stream, after my favorite nail polish. Because I’m relaxing when I give myself me time.

Now to remember and embrace the vibrations as something to be transformed into a positive.

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Michael

Hi, this was something I really needed. I just had a thank you speech at the company I work in for winning the price the newcommer of the year 2012, and people came to me after and said that I was touched or moved. Then I realize that my vibrations came out in the speech as I was thinking about what to say ( not planned) I could speak directly from my heart. My biggest take on this is feel your vibrations when standing there and just embraze them. Its freakin assaum. I will watch this video more times. Thank you!

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Webly

Great video. To join the challenge what I struggle with now a lot is “Rejection”
There’s been a major change in my relationship with someone I love dearly, that’s when I started feeling this feeling of rejection.
In terms of “Vibration” it feels like a huge load on my back that gets too heavy sometimes.
I am nicknaming it “Backpack” because when I watch Dora with my son Backpack seems to have the answers to everything and the tools. So “Backpack” is my source of inspiration to look forward, that an event is just an event but not who I am, backpack is a reminder the my Creator loves me just the way I am and would never reject me because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

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ravit kanari

Webly,
i was moved by your sharing and since i am doing the Course in Miracles the lesson today (#86) is amazingly fit to your sharing. a part of it says:

“It is senseless for me to search wildly about for salvation. I have seen it in many people and in many things, but when i reached for it, it was not there. i was mistaken about where it is. i was mistaken about what it is. I will undertake no more idle seeking. only god’s plan for salvation will work. and i will rejoice because his plan can never fail.”

http://www.oprah.com/oprahradio/A-Course-in-Miracles-Lesson-86

All the best!

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Lib

Awwwww. You guys xxxx
Yes I get shy, how do I describe the vibes??? Like an overgrown fringe that has no function because my hair is curly and a fringe makes no sense. none. My curls mean I have to tend to a fringe daily with a straightener and I don’t have time for that. No need to hide behind that fringe anymore. I’m letting the curls loose. What do I name this fringe?… Perhaps Faithful, after Marianne, she had a fringe didn’t she? xxx So next time I’m feeling faithful I will follow through, thanks babes x

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Lisabobeesa

One feeling I struggle with is jealousy. It feels like a hot wave coming up the front of my body, gaining in heat around my belly. I’m going to nickname it foozie so I remember that it is not so serious as I usually take it to be

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Patricia

This was a really great video – love seeing the love between you both!

So the emotion that holds me back is this halting, seductive fear of not being good enough. I know, at least, where that fear originates but it has not gone away. I tend to feel it when I speak publicly, when explaining things to higher-ups and most recently when doing the ideal customer avatar practice (I’m a b-school babe!). It’s halting and expansive and like I said before – seductive, but in a nonsexy way. I’m calling it Juicy. It was the first word that came to mind when I thought of that feeling just now, and I already like the idea of thinking “Juicy” when that feeling comes up. Thank you for this exercise; it feels like an amazing gift!

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ravit kanari

Webly,
i was moved by your sharing and since i am doing the Course in Miracles the lesson today (#86) is amazingly fit to your sharing. a part of it says:

“It is senseless for me to search wildly about for salvation. I have seen it in many people and in many things, but when i reached for it, it was not there. i was mistaken about where it is. i was mistaken about what it is. I will undertake no more idle seeking. only god’s plan for salvation will work. and i will rejoice because his plan can never fail.”

http://www.oprah.com/oprahradio/A-Course-in-Miracles-Lesson-86

All the best!

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Becky

Great video! Question for you…

Marie says when you allow whatever sensation you’re having to be there, and speak authentically from that place, ironically you appear very centered.

And Josh says when you speak from whatever is there, people are compelled to listen to you.

So my question is… do you think it’s okay to literally admit out loud that you’re feeling nervous when doing public speaking?

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Kristi

Hi Marie and Josh! Thanks for a great episode of MarieTV! It really spoke to me. I have been having difficulty moving forward with my dream of presenting positive, inspirational information to college students due to my perceived fear of public speaking and fear of being judge by others. This advice has really got me reforming my fear thoughts and I have decided to nickname my fear, anxiety and discomfort “Alive and Kicking” after one of my fav 80′s songs and “Reboot the Mission” after one of my new fav songs! Turning fear into Empowerment. Thank You!

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Astrid Van Der Linden

WOW! Great video Thank you so much! Both of you are such a dynamic, inspiring couple and I love this website. Thank you so much for enlightening me on this subject of managing nerves. I struggled with anxiety for years at school and later in life and seeing them, in the light you present makes so much sense. I experienced varying sensations from stomach or chest tightness to dry mouth & heart palpitations. I used to try to control the nerves & try to wish them away. It actually made it worse. I recovered when I made friends with them! I like the idea of naming them. This is such an important topic for children too. A school guidance counseller mentioned that it was becoming one of her biggest roles. To offer strategies to children to help them deal with their nerves. I can now apply this with confidence and share this amazing information. Thanks again

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Adrienne

Hello! Great video. Owning the fear and not judging yourself for it is such an interesting idea! For me, the fear is approaching new people, especially ones I respect/admire. I get a real tightness in my stomach and my heart pounds. If I actually do approach the person, I seem to lose all sense of language and memory. No matter how prepared to speak I am in my head, I never say what I wanted to. Most times I can’t even remember what I said. Maybe I should name it “Chandler” after the character from “Friends” :-)

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Erin Smith

I absolutely love this. Not just in how to overcome these feelings, but to embrace these feelings. It just hit me, if you’re not feeling these emotions or atoms, you’re probably not doing anything that’s really worth doing. I.e. you’re comfortable or complacent. However, when you have these feelings it means you’re on the verge of maybe doing something that you’ve never done before, or something you’re not comfortable doing. And when your ‘ride it’, just imagine what’s on the other side!!

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Nancy Fowler

Thank you for this video! It’s exactly what I needed!

The emotion I have struggled with is anxiety when speaking in public. It feels like waves of heat rising from my core and extending upward and outward; it also has a fluttery-ness to it! I’m going to nick name it, hot & fluttery (lol–it sounds a bit like hot & buttery–just how I like my popcorn!).
Being with the hot & fluttery part of me sounds a lot more pleasant than when I labeled it a negative emotion. Excellent re-framing exercise—much appreciated!

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Rachel

Marie and Josh – thank you SO much for this! First of all, it is beautiful and moving to see the two of you interact – such synergy, respect and love!

As a biodynamic craniosacral therapist, I work with clients on this all the time, so it was awesome to hear you all speak to it. It can be very appealing to get stuck in our stories around the emotions and sensations that we experience. When we can focus on just the sensations, it can be profound and liberating!

1 – I experience a lot of anxiety
2 – The vibrations are fast and swirly and disorienting – they live in my bloodstream and make it hard to think straight
3 – Nickname: “Party People” – because it feels like a crazy party inside that perhaps I can learn to ride out and enjoy until it passes :)

With immense gratitude!
Rachel

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Diana M. Joice

Hello Marie and Josh,

first off, I’m so grateful for this video. This reminder of coping with all sorts of emotions comes in so handy in times of peril. I have learned how to un-label my emotions, yet I found it hard to grab their texture. I’m a big thinker (when I’m not in my more emotional state of ecstaliciousness) and so thinking and visualizing comes easy to me. But this one was quite a nut to crack.

Well, you’ve done it! And it wasn’t even in a one-on-one coaching session.

Muah! To the both of you.

Blissfully.

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Jenna Richard

Awwwwwwwwww you guys are so CUUUUTE!

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Amber

1. In the job I am transitioning out of, I get a lot of angry students who are mad at the administration of the school and need to vent to or take it out on some one. In those moments, I get angry that I am the target.
2. The vibrations are HOT! I feel like heat is coming from my chest, moving up my neck, and pushing to come out of my mouth.
3. Nickname: Chokey

I can see already that I am going to have hella nicknames for my vibrations.

Thanks Marie and Josh!

Amber

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sandra

this was such a fantastic load of information and I loved the video. Like many I have held myself back in the public speaking arena so I love the idea of stepping back form oneself and breaking things down to a molecular level. Great advice and its certainly been life changing for me. Blessings and many thanks x

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Sharon 'Shazz' Nembhard

Thanks for this video Marie and Josh, I liked the concept of just allowing the feelings without labeling them and creating nicknames to embrace the energy. I don’t have stage fright having done drama and being a musician. I usually suffer nervousness which I deem a signal that I’ll do well moreover because it is my last point of prayer for control to calm my entire being. I’m going to give nervousness another name just for fun.

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Alex Alex

Thank you Marie and Josh! you are so inspiring and wise. I feel nervous before auditions – flush and shaky – and then I totally make it worse by associating that feeling with a whole story- “They’re going to see I am nervous and dislike that. They want someone who would never be nervous. This is embarrassing. If I were more talented I wouldn’t feel this way.” Fighting it off and judging it is exhausting and stifling.

So It is SO freeing to connect it with these new thoughts- that it’s ok to let it be, that is signals I am fully alive and energetic. I am going to name it BizzyBoo and remember there is no story behind it; it says nothing about me other than that I am alive and present and ready to share from my truth.

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Cristina

Thanks Marie for the excellent insights.

Recently I discovered an excellent way to practice my communication skills: http://www.toastmasters.org/

Nothing better than practice and receiving feedback in the process. I recommend it to everyone!

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Karen

Hi Marie and Josh,
Loved the episode like I always do! And I even tried it out at a mock interview I had at a workshop I am doing for career/employment stuff. I have struggled with performance anxiety my entire life. I have learned to settle myself down enough to ‘make it through’ these events but they are still sort of out of body experiences for me. For instance, the critiques I received from the observers of the interview all said the same thing – I was talking in a monotone and showed no enthusiasm. So, although I was able to control the nervousness to some degree, I can not be confident in knowing that I will come off in a pleasing way.

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Sunnie

Hi! :)
My sensation to “overcome” is the feeling of inadequateness. It is manifested through tightness in the chest and throat area and also a feeling of my body being covered with burning latex, and especially my head, so reflexes based on sound/sight perception are slower. Basically, a feeling of entrapment while I’m on fire and if I move something bad will happen.
Wow :) this is the first time I’ve actually described this feeling in plain words.
I’m going to call it Shooshy, I liked Josh’s suggestion :)
Thank you for the video and wish you all the best! :)
Cheers!

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Saskia

Dear Marie & Josh! When I first came in contact with RHH B-School I thought that this was all about learning about how to start a business. And it is… but on top of that the real thing I experienced was/is that you guys have a really profound spiritual view on life and everything you are teaching to others! I have known for 20 years now that we exist out of vibrating atoms and I do literally physically experience that many times but when I spoke about it people looked at me like they did not know what I was talking about…. I found out later the Quantum Fysics way of thinking was my thing…. and here Josh is talking about this! This makes me feel so connected to you guys…. Thank you so much for sharing this view. I love what I learn in B-School and I love what I hear on the spiritual level from you guys! It makes me more determined to succeed in what I started and deal with things that are difficult when it comes to being an entrepeneur newbee. Love Marie TV and love B-School!

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Åsa

Hi Marie,
this is ACT – Acceptance & Commitment Therapy or Accept, Commit & Take Action! It´s a great method to learn to live with or overcome fear, stress and depression. I have used it myself and now use it in my work as a nurse coaching and teaching people mindfulness in Sweden. I do it in English too ;-) Thanks for sharing it and Hi 5 to Josh from me!

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Fotini

Hi Marie! look what happened !: last tuesday Ι clicked ” notify me via- e-mail” and a realm of peoples ‘ posts is coming to my mail. I read many of them, but I can ‘t follow everything, they are not coming in a gmail stream , they are coming as new separate messages in my mail page( because of an incredimail application ) and my page is overwhelmed with this.And I have this incredimail puppy character who is notifying me for every mail, you know? & the puppy is barking all the time , since a message from your site is coming every minute or so :O) Help! can I cancel the mail- notification… please?

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Rachel

I love hearing the responses, but I’d like to stop getting the email notifications, too. Can you help?
Thank you!
Rachel

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Fred

I am in the Real Estate Business and I just started a network marketing business. My fear is the phone. Lead generating to build either of my business. I feel scared to make a call to anyone to ask for business, referrals, or to show them my network marketing business. I have never been able to pin point what my problem is. I am an out going person and do great with people, but when it comes to building a business or trying to convince somebody that what I have to offer they need. The feeling is almost the same as if I saw a snake. As soon as I get the feeling I immediately shift to something else. I feel if I could get over this fear my dreams may become a reality. Please help.
Fred

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Elena

Hey Fred, when it comes to *pushy* sales, I feel the same way, but if you are making an offering of service, that is not pushy. Here’s another thing that might help with each call–make yourself SMILE as you are talking–nobody can see your frightened face! The reason it works is smiling changes your brain chemistry…no matter how uncomfortable and fake it may seem at the get-go.

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Tanya von Zychlinsky

Hi Fred,

there can be so many reasons. One solution can be to take the pressure of ‘having to sell’ off the initial call. How about just letting it be a ‘connection call’ to really connect with that person, to listen, to let them feel that you are listening and trustworthy and that they can tell you where they could be supported, and then as a next step, if this connection call led to that, send them a custom designed offer of what you can do for them. No one likes to be ‘sold at’, and business is relationship, therefore, you can go a little slower. Like when you meet a love interest in your life at your first meeting, you wouldn’t go over there and say:”Hey, I’m Fred, I’m really cool – now sleep with me (buy my product)”.

There can be so much more involved here on a much deeper level that can be cleared, like an imprint from when you were younger, and every time you are attempting these kinds of calls that thing is being triggered. I sometimes freeze, too, and project ‘impatience’ into the other, because when I was little my parents were always working and we could only call them in ‘real emergencies’ (hard to define what that even entails when you’re little), but the deal was to ‘make it short, and make it better be really important, or we would be a burden to their already stressful day’. It took me a while to figure out that that story was one trigger for that frozen moment and fear of ‘taking up someone’s space and time’ with not only who I am, but on top of that with something that I ‘want them to do’. Just a metaphor for you to explore the horizon of your set up, maybe you had a similar situation with people who were not readily available to receive you (let alone your offer?). I have been clearing my own triggers as well as helping others clear those kinds of blocks, which is part of my ‘real estate’. I am great at moving those energies and translating all kinds of patterns up or down, so you can be free to be totally and joyfully YOU.

So… maybe, let yourself off the hook and switch ‘selling at’ to ‘connecting with’… it changes the direction from something coming at them to someone being there FOR them and receiving their truth, so they can breathe out in comfort instead of feeling like they have to hold their breath, especially on a cold call when they are most likely in the middle of something over on the other side.

One thing Gandhi did was really great: Before ANY meeting, he would imagine himself to be the other person in that moment of where they maybe at or what they might be doing, who and what they might be surrounded by. He tuned into their consciousness – not to manipulate – but to start the meeting with compassion for the other person’s situation. That helped him be in a whole different place, because he did not take anything personal since he could understand what kind of space the other was trying to uphold, or what kind of matter he/she might be trying to move around.

So, if you come as a potential new friend, it’s a whole different energy. People DO love to buy things, they just don’t like to be ‘sold at’.

I know there is more to it, but insights precedes implementation…

If we give ourselves permission to be ourselves and let the others be themselves and just CONNECT without agenda. How about approaching your next call like being on an adventure to explore new territory and get to know who’s on the other side? They will feel the difference and open up, because everyone loves a person who is genuinely interested in what they have to say or what they could use right now. Chances are, if they trust and like you and are ready for what you have to offer, they will come to you with their questions anyway.

Hope this helps for now? It was good for me to hear that again, too.

with reverence for your honest exploration and expression of your fear,

Tanya

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Mary Smith

I have a demon mood that overcomes me while I manage my flower shop. It seems to come and go for no good reason. Usually, I am filled with joy and enthusiasm to greet my customers, to find out about them, to fill their order with passion and both of us seem to gain and feel uplifted afterwards. But SOMETIMES I am so depressed, uninspired and I want to run away and hide from my customers or I try to pretend that I am happy and I think that they can tell I am not happy and it’s VERY uncomfortable. It is anxiety on ice.

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Tanya von Zychlinsky

Hi Mary,

… maybe you are a flower fairy and don’t belong inside… If you are connected to nature a lot, then maybe in the long run you can create a solution for yourself where you can have both, the outside and inside? Also, I sense that there are so many more gifts that are also waiting to be integrated and are ‘throwing a tantrum’ to get your attention?

with much love and reverence for your nature,

Tanya

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Molly Smith

This episode is amazing! I am so glad I came by to see if y’all were okay after the accident. Little did I know this would be what I need to hear, NOW.

I will be teaching at a conference (crafty stuff) in IN next month. I haven’t taught at this meet in five years. I have been “assisting” so I could enjoy the benefits without the responsibility. Boo.

My anxiety is a rapid heart beat and entire body nervousness. But I am so excited now because I will be a walking, talking vibrator and no one will know it. And this will probably be my best class ever. I am so excited now.

I am calling it “silly shakes”. Thank you, BOTH!

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Michelle Holmes

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE you guys! This is EXACTLY what I needed to see today. I am an ex vocal coach / singer / tv presenter turned relationship marketer and video coach and this is the ‘bit’ I focus on. I see sooooo many people spending lots of money and time on video only to find that they’re not really connecting with the person who is watching because of the ‘stuff’ that’s going on inside their mind. They haven’t uncovered THEIR OWN voice but instead they are still channeling someone else… and they’re not projecting the right vibe because they look uncomfortable and that gets read like ‘dishonest / hiding something’ etc… So… while my anxiety is not around public speaking or being visible… it’s about making the decision to move away from being a video marketing coach that takes you through the whole shebang from equipment to editing but to become known for specialising in this bit that I LOVE LOVE LOVE sooooo much :) I feel it like a catch in my throat which I’m going to call Expresso :) Thanks for sending such a loud and obvious sign from the universe Marie…. AGAIN! lol! Loving B-School by the way. Big love x

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Sanne Olesen

Speeking up!

The sensation I most struggle with and would like to overcome is the fear of babbling – that I will not be creating full coherent sentences and loose my focus on me real message. You can say that my greatest fear is that my brain will shut down.

I “overcome” this by learning every word in advance and by heart – so I can go on autopilot when the vibrations sets in and just cling to the know-by-heart-coherent-sentenses. Does not seem to be the best strategy ever thought up – because unless I use an entire day of preparation – a new fear arises: That I will forget my lines.

So the vibration I experience when on stage (even prepared down to the last sentence) is this: I step on stage quite calm and typically 5-10 min into it the vibration starts and my voice goes down in volume, – my body gets nervous, my hands starts shaking, and it feels like my chest so big that I have to keep my chin up to breathe and that the sound of my heart is louder than my voice.

I will nickname this vibration as: the quickening.

I commit to using this energy to move around more on stage, re-increase my voice volume and know in my heart that these people are welcome to see me as I am – cause I’m being honest with them and my heart is beautiful ;o)

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Kiki

Wow, speaking in public, yes I get butterflies and my stomach just quevers. I get tongue tied and start to babble. I guess what bothers me most is the fact that I have a slight speech impediment and I find myself stumbling over my words. Others tell me they do not notice it, but I do and it makes me nervous. I’ll name it “quevy”.

When in a smaller setting of speaking I am ok. Just in front of larger crowds.

Glad to hear you and your family are well and once again thanks Marie and Josh for another wonderful video. xoxo

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Melanie

What a great topic for Q&A! This is so me! My whole life, I have struggled with getting up in front of people and speaking. I have been trying to overcome my fears for years and now that I am promoting my new business, the need to confront it is pertinent. I recently joined a small business women’s group and find that every time I get up to introduce myself and my business, my heart races and my words get mixed up. I am concentrating so much on trying to finish that I don’t even know what I said. It feels like I am having a panic attack. I am getting more comfortable with it, but only because I am meeting more of the women and it is starting to feel like family. I have been approached to speak in front of some women in an event and I expressed my “shyness” to this person. I don’t want it to hinder my life, my business, or the fact that I can help others on the topic of going gluten-free, anymore. I call it “Yudashi” (you da sh**) and will definitely implement all that I learned today at our next meeting and anytime I feel that sensation.
Thank you again for helping me so that I can help others. Yudashi!!!

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Danielle

ahhh! What an amazing gift this video has been for me today! Thank you!

I’m a painter and a designer. I feel nervous often in so many different situations I will not even describe them all.

When I think of these feelings in the context of energy and atoms, I actually see how freaking expansive these feelings are. They are like me trying to expand. I put so much energy into trying to keep these feelings this energy and myself under wraps. I have been afraid of my own expansion, my own truth. I am thankful for this opportunity to reframe these feelings I have had all my life.

I will rename these sensations- Libre because this is actually about freedom and liberation.

With much gratitude,
Danielle

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KatrinaMarie

Hey Dynamic Duo…

Your mutual respect and admiration for each other is palatable. You both chose wisely and make a truly Dynamic Duo, bringing out the Super Hero in both of you….with the added spark and sizzle.

Josh my intuition tells me you are a master soul..
I Am interested to know your birth-date and full birth name to validate.
Marie is definitely compatible so her birth-date and full birth name would confirm that.

Josh you have this wonderful essence and grace about you that clearly gives you insight and wisdom into basic human struggles. You are able to articulate the solutions in such a simple, playful, warm and digestible form. Shushy was so comforting as a description.

I use to sing as co-leader during worship…but doing solos gave me such anxiety, with shallow breathing, knees shaking and frustration that I could not perform up to my ability as when I was practicing. The anxiety was unbearable so I stopped trying to sing solo.

I wish I had heard this 20 years ago, what a different perspective I would have had to master the hyper-ventilating.
However your descriptions and insight will still benefit me in so many ways and I will refer to this video now in my faves ;] when I have to present anything in front of an audience large or small.

I might call this feeling Jazzy, Glitty, Sparky, or Bling-ing and use shushing as a way to regain my normal breathing pattern. That is the way to calm a screaming baby is by shushing in their ear :]

Thank you so much for being U…and Marie for sharing him with us.

Namaste….KatrinaMarie

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Stokes girl

I really don’t have the shyness issue but I have a fear of dead bodies. This is ironic because I’m a Nurse! Ikr! When approached with a corpse, I feel a drumming effect in my chest, my hands start to tremble, and I imagine the body jerking or moving like in a scary movie. It’s crazy, and I’m not exactly sure where this fear originated from, but these tips really allowed me look at fear in another light.

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Luna

This was a great episode, thanks so much! The sensation that tends to get in my way is a “paralyzing” fear that stems from being anxious. It usually happens when I’m about to embark on something new or am waiting to hear back about an opportunity that could be promising. I would say the atoms stop vibrating completely and cluster together like a gunked up motor. When this happens, I can’t seem to do anything, I can’t focus, can’t move and I can hardly breathe; I might as well be in a fetal position holding my breath. Thanks to you, I am now naming this state of anxiety “freezy” and hopefully I can ride through it the next time it happens.

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Noell

Oh.my.goodness I was laughing to myself when I started thinking about the emotion I’d like to “overcome”…ANGER! Why did that make me laugh? Hold on…I’ll get to that in a sec! My crazy vibrating atoms feel like fire bouncing out of my chest…you know hot and roaring (that almost sounds like…sex-ay!). Here’s the part where I started laughing…I named my crazy, angry atoms…’Griselda’! That was the first name that popped into my mind…it sounds angry but it made me laugh like a hyena! I can’t wait to try this out the next time I’m road raging or my 4 little kiddos are pushing my buttons or when my hot firefighter hubby is pissing me off! “Here comes Griselda!!” Thanks for this Marie & Josh (you two are cute by the way!)…looking forward to letting my atoms vibrate any which way they want! :-)

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Ana

you’ re so cute together ! <3
very nice advices – I would call my emotion – that appears when I have to talk in front of people "dizzle" like it feels a bit giddy and silly , but I manage somehow – to conquer that feel- maybe I hide it, dont know for sure but then I belive in myself and I manage to fulfill the weak moments.

Thank you for the idea of -nickname – the feeling , much more funny now imagining my dizzle :D

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Claire Lotriet

I LOVE tip number two – nickname your vibes. It immediately takes the oomph out of those negative feelings. What’s more, I think the children I teach (10/11 year olds) could totally benefit from this tip. I’m going to do a lesson on it and then blog about it here: http://clairelotriet.com. I’ll let you know how it goes!

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Corrina

Awesome dance-out at the end there ;)

1) Anger
2) A red hot liquid, boiling over, like volcano lava, steam escaping everywhere, thundering, feels utterly uncontrollable
3) I’ll give “lava flow” a try – it’ll remind me that the thundering will pass

I know when I go and focus on something completely different (usually work), the physical sensation dies down and the heat leaves and takes my angry thoughts away with it. I’m often left feeling remorseful for whatever words came out in anger.

Next step: Try letting the vibration diffuse without having to plug into work. And try to keep my mouth shut while the lava is flowing through.

Thanks – great episode both of you,
love and respect,
Corrina

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Pam Burns

1. Lack of worth which leads to a lack of assertiveness and a feeling that I am taking up someone’s time.
2. Like a flat soda.
3. Whickie.

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ruth

Awesome message! I really loved how succinct these three steps are. I do them all the time without even thinking about it – and when I speak to groups of people I say first up how I’m feeling to be there if I’m nervous or overwhelmed. Including those scary vibes/voices makes me feel more at home in the world and in my body. I sometimes ask people (friends of young people I work with) if they are struggling with something “which part of you is speaking now? If it was a character what would their name be? What do they want from life?… etc” Get them to flesh out the annoying voices to see where they fit in to the whole collective of self hood.

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Catt

1. The “I’m not good enough” emotion
2. They go into panic mode and start finding ways to cover up and run away and find a way to hide so they can put up something unassailable!!!
3. The Newbuddies (because it means something new is happening in my life if I party it out with them for 7-12 seconds!)

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Stacie Walker

Hi Marie,

My prayers go out to you and your loved ones. I am currently working on my fear of public speaking by finally launching my radio show. After that, I will graduate to YouTube.

Thank you for the tips! Awesome post.

Many Blessings,

Stacie Walker
Woman in Leadership

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DesignDiva

Thanks for sharing! Going to call mine “The Climb”. I hate roller coasters and the pulsating feeling on my left side of chest before public speaking or interior design presentation to a new client is the same. However, design is a passion and because of that passion it’s a “fuel” of excitement. You both made me realize that it’s the same energy: roller coaster fear, television interview, or sharing my story to a room full of teens. This time I’ll embrace it vs trying to hide it (in some cases finding the nearest exit off the roller coaster-lol

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Siobhan

1. The feeling of dread and fear at what might happen if I dare to speak up about what’s really bothering me/fear of confrontation.

2. A sort of tightening around my windpipe, whilst simultaneously, the back of my skull has this curious feeling of being about to fall off. I guess it feels a bit like my solar plexus is a black hole that everything from the waist up is collapsing into.

3. I shall call this energy… Hungry Hippo.

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Lucia

Great video! Through my screen I can feel the vibration of love and admiration you have for one another. It’s endearing!

First, the emotion or sensation that I’d like to overcome is this feeling like is nervous slow breathing, like I’m out of breathe. Not because I’ve been running. But because I’m comparing my beginning to someone’s middle. See someone that I admire or someone that is my “competition” moving faster or constantly shipping has me breathing deep almost like panic attack. I have this feeling like I need to hustle more to catch up and past them. My chest feels heavy, my stomach feels nauseous, my eyes starts darting back and forth trying to find answers, and my shoulders are tight. Oh geesh, I didn’t realize I had all these vibrations just from one thought. Is that even possible? What do I do? I think I’m going to call it JITTERBUG. I think instead of letting this antsy / nervouse feeling of wanting to compare and need to catch up… why not be more dance-y? Hence jitterbug. HA!

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Jordan McBride

I have always been a nervous public speaker. I am SO thankful for this video! Puts things in a completely different perspective. :)

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Julian and Kathryn

Thanks Marie and Josh for this great video.

I notice a lot of similarities between what Josh is talking about and the essence of mindfulness. Being in the present moment, an awareness of your sensations but not labelling them as good or bad (interesting the idea of a neutral/friendly name for the sensation) and an acceptance of them in the here and now.

Is it feel the fear (sensation) and do it anyway?

Keep up the good work!

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Dina C.

Without a doubt, fear of public speaking and being shy has held me back in my life. I avoid opportunities because of this fear. I have changed careers recently (from the high-tech corporate world to helping people create their new health destinies), just wrote a book, am growing my platform, and I feel like I’m on the edge – I can go big or go small. Going small is fine, as long as it’s a choice and not because of the fear that comes with going big. The fear shows up mostly as a rapidly beating heart. I guess I’ll party with Thumper from now on. I hereby commit to riding it, not hiding it. Thanks Marie and Josh. And here’s to everyone who has chimed in. Let’s do this!

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Brittany

1. Feeling like I can’t do it

2. Paralyzing, unable to start, frozen in time

3. Sluggardian

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Aradia

Overwhelm!

I feel this utter internal suffocation, like an invisible pressure that is stopping the vibration almost from inside all the way out.

I’m gonna call her Wilhemina – or Willy for short – and random dance parties definitely feel like a good way to party :D

<3ed seeing you guys together on screen ! Josh, you're so pleasantly animated I love it! A wonderful compliment Marie's own fun vibin' :D

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Steph

Fearing that I am going to look foolish and that I am going to mess up my words

Feeling paralyzed, frozen and going to faint. The sensation is heavy and hot like fire.

Calling it fireball

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Portia

I have been a singer most of my life. However recently singing has been something i had a distaste for. I would get nervous during my performances and it would ruin my voice and my confidence. From sweaty palms on my guitar to cracking voice it would take my performance from being great to average or even worse. I watched this video, and when i did my next recital, when i opened my mouth, the same singing voice when i’m home alone came out. It was the very best performance i had had in a long time. Thank you so much, because of you, I found my voice! :)

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Llyane @ J-Ouellette.com

Oh, I love Josh’s class and concept and approach and I hope that I will be able to make all my students take his class before they come to mine.

It is such a fantastic ‘lubricant’ – friction and resistance just melt away :D

You become and stay a ‘YES’.

Merci :)
xo

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Lisa

Marie, thank you so much for this video. The video and everyone’s comments are great and I am glad to know that I am not alone in my fear of public speaking!

I viewed this video a while back and in the back of my mind I was thinking, actually dreading, of when I will need to get up in front of people and give a speech. Even during meetings I have to force myself to contribute and let myself be heard.

Fast forward to the present – I just started to attend a local Toastmasters club and was elected to be VP of Education in the club. I felt a bit overwhelmed since I just committed to the club and I thought, how the heck could I be VP of Education when I’m just starting to learn and put myself out there? I volunteered to be the Inspirer for today’s meeting and I had to push through it. I felt like I was in a “do or die” situation. As I clutched my iPad and read my short speech (it lasted 29 seconds), I felt so nervous (the crack in my voice, stomach turning, I couldn’t breathe). I seriously wanted to run out of the room or cry. It sounds childish but I couldn’t help but feel so vulnerable. How I wish I would’ve reviewed your video again before I went up there. I completed my speech and duties for the meeting and felt a huge relief.

As the saying goes, “Practice makes perfect”. I will continue to practice public speaking as I desire to be in the public relations field and let my voice be heard.

Keep on inspiring us, Marie! I always look forward to your Tuesday Q&A’s. :)

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Steph

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to let you all of you know that I tried what Marie posted in this video and it did make a difference to my presentation. I have always been so fearful of presenting in any group setting. I would get so nervous and butterflies in my stomach that I would freeze. I used Marie’s technique when I had to make a 30 minute presentation in school, and it worked great.

But what also really helped was Gelsemium (30c) a homeopathic remedy, it eliminates the butterfly feeling I had in my stomach. I am a holistic nutritionist ( www. nutritionathand.com) and I am currently studying homeopathy. I tried this remedy for myself, and it worked like a charm.

This homeopathic remedy combined with this video really helped me soooo much!!! I can now present and feel confident I also now look forward to presenting.

I look forward to Tuesday!!!xo

Stephanie

I

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Shona

Marie – you are a Godsend! Thank you so much for this post!! Talk about incredible timing!!! This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear right now!!!
So my emotion that I’d like to overcome is shakiness/fear of public speaking/. The emotion is shakiness, nervousness, wobbly voice, jitteryness and dry mouth! My atoms are quivering, shaking, buzzing, manic, and hyperactive. I hereby dub thee “shakin steven’s” o little bouncing atoms!!! And I commit to partying with you!
Thanks again Marie! You are AWESOME!
Shona

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Brittney LaSha

Great Video! Great Advice!
The sensation I would like to become one with is the feeling I get just before speaking. It is a feeling of tightening. I’d like to call it “stoked.”

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Hannah

Awesome stuff, very liberating and motivational.

I totally agree with the theme of this – practice, practice, practice and feel good about presenting in front of people – you have nothing to be scared of :)

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liz

Request for exact closed captioning. The California state requires that all media shown in public schools or are assigned as homework have exact closed captioning. Many of your videos would helpful to my students and to my friends who are deaf or hearing impaired.

Unfortunately, YouTube’s closed captioning sucks. You could reach a larger audience, helping more people (and instructors) if you had exact closed captioning. If you need to hire someone to write it, I’m available.

Sincerely,
liz gonzalez

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Delissa Syrimi

Great interview! What wonderful way to think about the “nerves” we get when speaking in public. When I speak publicly my heart starts to BOOM out of my chest. After watching this, I will call it my BOOB BOOM POW!! How exciting! I can’t wait to use your advice at my next speaking engagement. Thank you so much!

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Suzan

oh wow this video topic has really helped me! Thanks to the both of you!!!
I would describe the vibrating sensation in my body when speaking in public as a chest tightening and a literally breath away taking experience. I’d like to nick name it “buzz” in order to take the heaviness off it and allow a more positive approach. I am so gonna try to “ride it” the next time I’m speaking in public. Cant wait to put it to the test!!! Thank you again.
Greetings from Hamburg, Germany

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Vera C.

Marie, I so appreciate you and your videos. This one was particularly interesting to watch. I used to have a ” stage fear” when I was a professional singer and it could freeze me into wrack – and I felt like it was choking me inside my throat and it was really, really hard to sing like that, as you can imagine. Now, years later, I don’t have a problem with public speaking (for some reason), even in USA when I do so in second language. I think people appreciate even my accent and mistakes I sometimes make. What bothers me now are my emotions. I can tear up and choke up in the middle of the sentence and I HATE it!!! My mother was doing this so much, and I couldn’t stand it – now I am worse than her! For some people it is probably sweet and touching, but I feel bad because it happens to me in the worse moments, when I want to get my point across.
Usually when there is something I care deeply about. I would love to see if you or Joshua can come up with the thing for that – let’s call it WISSHY :)

Thanks a lot – you are awesome!

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Masha

What a fantastic episode. I loved it! I’m very excited about this topic in general. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

This past week I felt a HUGE surge of energy after writing out the story of how I started to learn piano at the age of 28 (many years ago), something I’m very proud of. I didn’t try to get rid of the sensations. :-) I cried several times that day, the first time when I wrote the story down and then a little while later as I read it out to a couple of people as part of a skills discovery exercise. I think the tears were mostly from sheer joy. I described the feeling to people as bubbles. So I’ll happily call these “champagne bubbles”.

I’m shedding worn-out, tired stories. My whole body is urging me to savour the feeling of aliveness that is emerging in their wake. Holy smokes, THIS is what feeling alive is like. Excitement and enthusiasm. I could barely contain myself. I observed the sensations with a mixture of wonder and curiosity.

Several hours later the bubbles had subsided, and my vibrations returned to a more steady and quiet hum. It’s good to know that I can tap into it and enjoy it, rather than trying to suppress or change it.

After watching this episode, I feel validated in allowing the vibrations to happen. My body is way more intelligent than my mind.

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Susan Smith Laycock

Great episode. Love to see the two of you together. I get the vibrator part no problem. My question comes from an experience I had that really hamstrung me several years ago. I was pitching my products to a group of sales associates (about 50 people) and I felt that fission of desire vs vulnerability very strongly. It was impacting my presentation ( I think) and here’s the thing. One guy in the audience seized that and was like a shark smelling blood in the water. He started heckling me! He got really snarky and my sense was that everyone in the room felt embarrassment for me. I didn’t know how, in that moment, to stand up for myself without jeopardizing the job opportunity. He was just one sales clerk and not the whole chain so I didn’t want to just say “I’m not willing to work with you people if this is your corporate culture”. Can you address how to deal with situations like this?

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Rachel Metz

I recently came across your site from a friend and I honestly cannot praise you enough. You have completely changed my outlook on my business, my life and my dream of becoming one of the youngest self made women :) This piece also made me have an epiphany so what else do you do with an epiphany? Write about it – the “vibrations” instantly sparked the “holy balls, duh” feeling. Thank you for you continuous inspiration and honesty. You kick ass.

http://rachelmetz.blogspot.com/2013/11/mymindisfull-mondays-impatiently-waiting.html

xo,
Rachel Metz

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Vince G.

Love your videos on this topic Marie & Josh. Just watching a few episodes, I’m now hooked. See what you’ve done! This topic resonates with me at the moment. Anxiety and a feeling of being alone on an ocean with huge waves tossing me around with overwhelming dizziness on bad days. I’ve gotten used to in in a sense, but it does freak me out from time to time. Then I pull back and feel like retreating to my quiet cocoon where I feel safer and just listen to music or relax or go for a bike ride. Then I push myself again, and the cycle repeats. Thanks for your advice on this topic Josh.

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Catherine

The thing I struggle with when I speak in public when my heartbeat increases, I experience intant heat! I am a sweater, and all my life, until now, I have felt it is not pretty. My Mom would say “Girls don’t sweat, they perspire. Sweating is not ladylike.” So since I literally drip from my head down my face, I felt ugly about it, embarrassed, and nervous!
Now I realize that I am hot, and I have always run HOT> which is good.
It means I am not holding in toxins! And instead of feeling embarrassed I am seeing it as a way of gleaming and having a glowy, dewey look. A friend of mine that I know, like and trust said I should pick up a pretty fan, which I did. Now I pull it out of my purse when I get hot and feel others may be noticing my beads of moisture and say: “You want to be part of my Fan Club? WE are the Hot Ones!” hehehe. It’s all how you look at it. I am doing like Josh says. When I feel the heat coming on in front of a group talk, rather than feeling like I have something to hide,… I will just say, “Here comes the heat, get ready!” Xo, Catherine

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Vince G

Ha! You ‘r’ all amazingly ‘hot’. Gr8 Idea! ( I get the concept )

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Andrea

Marie and Josh – You brought tears to my eyes. I’m in my 40s and since I was a teenager, I’ve struggled with what an incredibly embarrassing and disempowering “nervous tick” that manifests whenever I’m really nervous, have to speak in front of people or even when I am talking about something I feel incredibly passionate about. I’ve been ashamed my whole life of this and have tried in vain to suppress it. In these situations, I begin to chatter – my teeth begin to click together uncontrollably as if I’m freezing to death. I literally cannot speak without taking deep breaths between every few words. I can feel the vibration from my jaw down to my heart then right back up my spine into my head and down again to my jaw. The more I try to stop it, the more scared and mortified I become, and the worse it gets. It feels like a strange combination of a jackhammer and lockjaw! New nickname: Rarrrarrrarrr. You have given me extraordinary insight and guidance about how to embrace this sensation and the fear behind it. I can’t thank you enough. From today forward, I will strive to embrace and accept myself and Mr. Rarrrarrrarrr-pants! xoxo

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Diana

This video has been so comforting to me.

I have many emotions I would like to overcome, probably the worst being stage fright (being in front of an audience, having to speak up on a conference call, addressing a group of more than 4 people). The vibrations tighten and heat up my chest and make my vocal chords quiver. The more I fight it, the shakier my voice gets and the redder my face turns. It’s extremely embarrassing, which is why I avoid being front and center at all costs.

I am nicknaming my vibes “arrrrrrriba” (lots of rolling Rs!) because the I can feel the hum of the Rs loosening up my chest and letting out trapped hot air.

Thank you for this wonderful gift and am amazing paradigm shift in my head and totally blowing my mind — allowing me to re-frame an emotion I felt was “bad” and “embarrassing” so I can let it be, let it go. :D

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Daisy

That was so helpful. Thank you! As a singer and performer, as well as working at a startup, this is all so relevant to just being more fully expressed and in motion. I’d like to overcome the itchy feeling that I’m not doing enough, the times when I pause, but don’t fully allow myself to feel become a feeling all there own. I think I’ll call my vibes munchkins. I’m pretty into that word lately as I also call my two year old a munchkin quite often. Calling them munchkins will help me party as I’ll be reminded of how nothing is really all that crazy as long as I love my munchkins and my little munchkin.

- Daisy
Read more: http://www.marieforleo.com/2013/03/overcome-fear-shyness-josh-pais/#ixzz2xspGq5xC

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N.

Hey Marie,

that was an awesome video for me. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!

i hope i will be able to accept me being shy and getting blushed all the time. even in areas where is nobody i am struggling cause somebody could come out and i would get blushed immediately.

my feelings are expecting the person, expecting to get blushed. i am nervous and having trouble to concentrate on other things. i am there with my fear and thinking only about things what is going to happen next. so my body is totally alert, my eyes are looking for the enemy, i am shaking and if the person is there i am ready to explode with all my colors! hahaha. i am laughing at it myself!

i am going to give a name bella. cause i wanna see it beautiful. cause i made it ugly all the time. i wanna name it beautiful and maybe it will help me to accept it.

thank you for this lesson. it will help me, cause i already learned from it.

keep going Marie! is amazing how much you are helping with your work. you are my Hero!

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Perri Yaniv

LOVE YOU GUYS!!

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Nehlle

Unfortunately the 27 min audio download thingie doesn´t Work :( I would love to hear it..

I looooooove this video though and have seen a thousand times!! Maybe.. I´ve been struggeling with anxiety for 12 years. Two month ago I landed my dream job – just around the same time I said goodbye to anti depressives (been on them for 11 years) And NeXT week at work I´m going to give a speech in English (I´m Danish) in front of A LOT of people from around the world… I´ll try to party with it but what really Works for me is thinking, that everyone else are nervous too! I just wish I could hide my nerves and stop my voice from shaking…

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Sonja

I feel it when I am about to share with others my writing. I will call it squeezy.
It really is always more or less the same, I feel my stomach squeezed, I feel my body shaking, blood rushing to my head and face, my throat getting dry. All squeezy. And from now on, I’ll let Squeezy to roll with me as it is and then I’ll do what I want to do anyway. Let’s rol with the fear ;) Thank you!

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Sonja

Oh god – love the two of you! You are such a great match and above all seem to work together very well. Thanks for the great hints – will definitely observe and put them into practise! xx

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Celia Bainting

My anxiety at public speaking, I believe stems from my dyslexia. This episode was truly awesome and I’m going to take all the advice Josh explained. I can see why you love each other…being real and truthful results in intimacy. I think you are both inspirational. Thank you SO much!!

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Christina

Hello!!!
I would like to overcome my tremendous anxiety.
The sensations I experience are my atoms tightening up in the area of my chest and squeezing the breath out of me.
My nickname for them is VoomVoom and I plan to party with VoomVoom from now on! lol :)

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Joanie

I get really self aware and nervous when I’m talking in front of people and anxiety about it as a result. My head starts to feel fuzzy and I sometimes slur my words….and lose focus and my heart starts beating really fast. Sometimes I’m find, but the anxiety that it may happen is bothersome too.
I’m nicknaming this nervousness Cubashi and I will try to embrace my sweet Cubashi from now on! Fascinating! Many thanks!!!

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Farhang

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Kristina

So THAT’S Josh!! I have seen him in movies and on tv!! This was a great video. I am a procrastinating introvert which makes for a pretty ridiculous life sometimes. And trying to be a business owner with those traits SUCKS!! I like the fact that Josh broke it down and told us to think of ourselves as vibrators and that we are just a mass of vibrating atoms.

I have a HUGE problem talking in front of people. This poses a problem when trying to tell people about my business. When I have to speak in front of people or even just one person to tell them about my business, my stomach feels like there are 5 million bumblebees buzzing around inside, almost to the point of slight nausea (TMI…sorry). Since I am feeling slightly nauseated and buzzing I will name my feeling Nuzzing! It’s a funny name which kind of takes the anxiety edge off. When that feeling rears it’s ugly head again, I know to say “Oh I’m just nuzzing, this will pass.” Thank you so much Marie and Josh, you both rock!

PS – I was a scholarship winner to B-School this year and it was AMAZE-BALLS!!!!!! What an awesome education resource, so glad I have lifetime access to continue to learn, grow and expand. :-)

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