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The Best Present You Can Ever Give

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Merry Christmas!!  I’m here in New York City celebrating with my family and friends before we head out to sunny LA.

Since you’re likely spending time with your loved ones too, I’ll keep today’s post short and sweet.

This very special episode of MarieTV is about the BEST present you can give.

This one present costs you nothing, it’s something everyone wants from you, and it’s the single most precious thing we have to share with each other during our time here on earth.

Watch this video before you spend any more time with the people you love.


The best present you can ever give is your full attention. @Marie Forleo

In the comments below, I’d love to hear from you.

Do you have a story or experience about the power of being fully present with those you love?

Whether you made a big shift, or experienced a big shift in terms of really “being with” people you care for, I want to hear about it.

Thank you, as always, for being a part of this community and my life.

Wishing you and yours a blessed, happy and peaceful holiday!

xo

Marie Forleo

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Read the comments or Add yours

Elise

Hi Marie,

What a beautiful vid.

This one concept is actually my resolution for next year! Presence and play! I am going back to my childhood roots and go 100% present!

I experienced true presence earlier in the year. It was while creating cars, giant dice and life sized board games outta cardboard.

I’ve never felt so focused, clear and alive and when I came out of it I was like “holy crap where’d the time go?!?” the people I did this with had a blast and I will always remember this amazing lesson in presence.

Bring on the present 2013!

Merry Christmas everyone :)

Elise xo

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Chas

Thank you for sharing, Elise,
You brought back a memory from a Christmas past, when snow blanketed the Willamette Valley and my father was out behind the house sawing and hammering; building something. It was a sled, and the greatest gift was the gift of joy and fatherly love, as he pushed me down the snow-covered slope on my new hand-built sled. Thanks for bringing back the memory.

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Annie

So appreciated this video. I couldn’t agree more, and in fact, I recently wrote about a similar aspect to this (http://www.livesimplybyannie.com/2012/12/10/mondays-meditation-on-gifts/ ). I’m a professional organizer, and through my work I’ve seen so many purchased presents get the way of the old heave hoe. Even though they were given with the best of intentions, for whatever reason the gifts just didn’t fit the bill. On the other hand, any time any of my clients come across a purely sentimental item– a card for instance, they always keep it. It’s a great reminder to stay focused not on the glitz and glam of presents, but on what we all truly appreciate most. That is, expressions of emotional connectedness.

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Udo, the Girl -- GIRL AFTER COLLEGE

This is something you constantly preach, so it must be something you truly believe in.

Being present this holiday season with my mom has reduced our fights with each other. To be honest, it’s not like being present a few times will instantly do a magical shift in the relationship. It is a habit I had to develop and over time, it helped shift MY mindset and attitude about our situation.

So yes, be present and figure out how to make it a practice. A default setting. You can’t do it hoping to find the miracle cure to all problems. You just have to make it a part of life.

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Suzie

Go Marie & Merry Christmas

I learned a long time ago to be present because of you Marie! Best advice ever Thank you lovely…& cheers to you Marie…now I’m off to have some christmas drinks with the family and my love Norm!

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Hinna Farooq

Time to get offline and be more present!
But before I do, I just quickly want to say:
Happy holidays to Marie and the team and thank you so much as always!

Hope you have an amazing day full of love, joy and presence!

Peace and Love,
Hinna
xoxo

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Nadia Chaudhry

This is one of the things I’ve been working on. Being more present with the people I am with! It’s so powerful, but not everyone sees the importance of putting their phone away.

I am focusing on actively being more presently by going into situations with mental preparedness (affirmations), instead of just listening to this advice and hoping it’ll magically implement into my life.

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Victoria

Merry Christmas everyone! Marie, this video was so touching. One thing I’ve definitely learnt from you is the importance of being present in each moment. I’m not perfect at it (yet) but I definitely try to be present in what I do now. I’ve noticed that it helps in so many ways- I’m less stressed, more focused and I see the impact it has on others. People often just want someone who’ll truly listen to them and that’s exactly what happens when you’re present. Imagine how different the world would be if we all stopped playing with our phones, living inside the internet (or the matrix as I call it) and daydreaming when others spoke to us? Thanks to you and the awesome women in this community, I’ve realised that being present matters. Wishing you all an awesome Christmas!

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The Cookie Fairy

Thank you for this beautiful and inspiring video! I’m with my sister and her boyfriend now, celebrating Christmas. We’ve had our ups and downs but in the end I realised she’s my sister and I only get one like her, so we’ve put the past behind us and decided to just be happy for each other. She’s getting married and has a baby on the way–nothing better to celebrate, in my opinion. Hope you’re having a wonderful Christmas too!

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Jocelyn

Hi Marie,

Thank you for this video, I love how it reminds people how important it is to stay present with one another.

My boyfriend practices this and not long I’m inspired to do the same with anyone who I interact with. My boyfriend rarely ever checks his phone when we’re together, especially when we are doing something, even as simple as eating together or watching tv together. He occasionally checks it when I leave the room for a bathroom break, or before going to bed. He’d even let himself have missed calls from his friends even when I say he can answer them if he wants to. He’d simply say, “No, it’s fine, I’m with you now.”

I was quite the opposite of that; every time my phone does something I have this overwhelming sense of urgency that I have to attend to it. My boyfriend never said anything about it but because he doesn’t pick up his phone or check emails constantly and disconnect himself from the present he shares with me, I feel bad about attending to it all the time especially when it’s nothing really that important. Eventually I leave my phone in the other room and check it less often.

For me, the greatest feeling from this is respect, from others and towards others. Additionally to that is the feeling of actual connection between people because you are focused on what they are saying and your own thoughts instead of disconnecting yourself from the present to connect with the virtual world.

In Hong Kong, the wonders of technology has made people disconnected. On public transport I see a large portion of people (not just youngsters) constantly on their smartphone, watching videos or on whatsapp, disconnecting from the people they are travelling with and even the present environment they are in, at the same time give them an excuse to no respond to people or to shoot a nasty glare at someone who has bumped into them and interrupted their video-watching.

Thank you for the video again, and may you have a lovely Christmas and even more wonderful new year!

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Yasmine

I loved this video, one way i do that, is when i take a holiday I never have my phone with me. Having it there makes it easy to get distracted.

I wish you a merry xmas and happy new year

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Sharon

Hi Marie,

A Merry Christmas to you and your home and work family.

My Christmas day is done as yours starts. And my phone was only on to take family photos, and what great fun that was.

Not one person was checking their emails or texts. We were just together. Enjoying the children and each others company.

I have watched most weekly videos, and learnt many things. Today your message is extra relevant, as the techo stuff takes over so much of our lives lately.

Whenever I am talking with a client or an individual I give my undivided attention, I do not stop that attention when someone else butts in, rather, signal I know they are there and continue with the one I am with. Eye contact is important, because my attention is where my eyes are.

Well here I am, the Christmas function is over, and now I have checked my emails.

Merry Christmas to you Marie, a generous lady indeed, and one to emulate, and a very happy prosperous New Year.

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Natalie Sisson

Merry Xmas to all!

I’ve been fully focused on being present in the moment, giving my attention to listening to the lovely people who are hosting me in Berlin for this special time.

I have to listen even harder as they speak in German a lot and I can usually understand around 50-70%!

And I can totally relate to the mobile phone, I think I honestly checked it yesterday around 80 times which was ridiculous, but that’s because I was connecting with friends and family all over the world. Plus I had downtime to relax – a rarity.

I also spent time on Xmas Eve reading Seth Godin’s new book too so that was bliss.

2013 is all about more attention to the present moment – because today is certainly a gift.

Thanks Marie for all your insight this year

xx

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kim

You’re so awesome Marie! So wise and fun.
Can’t wait for B-school.
Merry christmas.

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Beth Reacher

What a brilliant reminder Marie of what I believe is the singular most important thing to living a full, rich life. The magic happens when we’re engaged and connected w/ the present moment. My xmas wish to my community this year was a Xmas full of lots of Presence ! (gettit!?)

I also feel it’s so important we remind ourselves of this when we look ahead to 2013 and be careful not to become so obsessed with future goals that we loose touch with the present- that it becomes more an obstacle to overcome as opposed to a source of great energy and inspiration to get you where you want to be. I guess the underlying message is life doesn’t have to be hard- there is such power in just letting go and being. Here’s a link to the full article: http://www.thecareerstylist.com/inspired-living/why-setting-goals-can-be-dangerous-what-to-do-instead

Have a brilliant xmas Marie and thanks so much for all you contribute, looking forward to what lies in store for 2013

xxx

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brandy bell

Marie, what a great reminder that the best things are not ones that money can buy.
Family is irreplaceable and as we all know, our time is limited here– spread it in the best way we can!

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Yvette Brooks

This video is so timely.

I actually opened it from my email early this morning . I was in the middle of planning what I will be doing at my sister in laws house during all the gift -giving.

I was thinking yea I will bring my laptop so I can work and such lol

Thank you.

I would like to add a gift to the best gift. That is The Truth… he 2 best gifts are real Presence and the Truth.

Thanks for the inspiration.

I will be giving… real presence and the truth :)

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Udo, the Girl -- GIRL AFTER COLLEGE

I’m so glad you got this just in time! Firstly, you wouldn’t be able to get much done today. :P Secondly, everyone will appreciate you being there. Even if there is a long lull where nothing is going on, the fact that your attention is still on them and not on something else whispers invisible words.

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Ngoc Khong

I love this video, thank you Marie and Team Forleo XD XD XD. It resonates with me so much as I’m joining monthly retreats, in which participants practice giving their full attention to every single thing they do and everyone they spend time with. All the things that have happened with me lately – all boil down to the concept of “living in the moment”, or “mindfulness”. Spirituality has become more and more important in my life than ever, and I’m still a bit surprised with that.

Speaking of spirituality, I recommend you guys here to read Thich Nhat Hanh’s books http://www.amazon.com/Thich-Nhat-Hanh/e/B000AP5YRY. His writing style is simple and easy to understand.

I also suggest you guys here invite your family and friends to join this “full presence” train with you as the effect would spread bigger and we’d also feel more love in the air.

Happy Holiday, Happy New Year!!!

Love
Ngoc Khong

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Ngoc Khong

Ah, I forgot one thing.

A while ago, my English teacher once told me to try the “36 hour unplugged” experience, in which I had to disconnect from everything related to technology from phones to computers for 36 hours. That means I wasn’t allowed to check emails and social medias for 3 days! That was a quite strange experience as it forced me to pay full attention to people around me rather than checking my phone constantly. It was pretty amazing as I suddenly realized how beautiful life is, how others are really feeling… Well, I think one’s full presence is a great gift not only for people close to her but also for herself!

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Jessica Scheer

ill definitely check out the book!

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Suzanne Kellner-Zinck

Hi Marie,

I couldn’t agree with you more. I have ALWAYS made it my policy to have my phones off while with others -both personal and work because as you say, one isn’t present with another respecting their time and effort to be with you while distracted by another potential interuption.

I have even made it a policy to let others know that my phones are off so that I can give my full attention to them. It is interesting to note how few others are able to comprehend this act of mine and return the favor always wondering what will be missed if they miss that one phone call from someone (usually a kid of theirs who is over the age of 16 driving themselves wherever to be with their own friends or maybe they are wanting to receive a message from a lover, I don’t know).

All I do know is that I agree with you that over the years we have had this technology people are not able to be present while together thinking that the potential conversation is more important than the one currently happening and to my mind it is a the main reason that people no longer feel connected to anyone because one cannot possibly be connected if always willing to be distracted by the next interference.

Fabulous message and keep on restating it so those who need to hear it a few times before it sinks in will “get it”.

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Bonnie

I learned the importance of being fully present from my dad. From the time I was tiny, he would stop whatever he was doing to actually listen to me. Later, I watched him treat other people the same way when I worked a summer as his secretary. When he died 3 years ago, I found out from other people what an unusual and extraordinary gift that had been, since many people were envious of the closeness I had had with him, and so many people mentioned his listening to them at his wake. He actually told me once when I spoke to him about the random collection of people who would show up at his office that most people just want someone to listen to them. I try to remember that in my life, but it’s hardest with the people closest to us- it’s so much easier to “multitask”. Thanks for the reminder Marie!

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Olga

Thank you so much,Marie, for this video! Fully agree with you! Our presence, attention, love, hugs, jokes etc. with our loved ones is the best present ever to them! Things are worn out, forgotten,lost, but feelings,moments create our character,present and future life! Thank you and have the best Holiday season!

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Lisa Robbin Young

Love this. When I wrote my book perhaps the most important inscription of The Secret Watch is “The best gift you can give is attention and time.” Thanks for the wonderful reminder.

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Anne Kaas Iversen

Dear Marie.
Thank you again for wisdom and showing the good aspects in life. I think you and Marianne Williamson are så good to show the world how to think positive and to work for the best in life for humans. I wish you A Merry Christmas and A Beautiful New Year. And if you would come to Norway and Oslo, tell me… It would be a great pleasure to meet you, listen to you. Best & warm Regards Anne. <3

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Elly Klein

Marie, I couldn’t agree more.

Sadly, too many people are crap at giving this gift. I was lucky enough to have two parents who gave it to me in spades, so perhaps that’s why I’m able to give it back. But it pains me when ‘friends’ can’t give me their full attention – especially when I always give them mine (or at least I think I do).

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Andrea

I couldn’t agree more Marie. My grandpa is 90 years old and I appreciate every minute I get to spend with him and my grandma. I always am trying to be present every Christmas Eve when we celebrate together so I can remember these days for my grandpas stories and not texting someone during the middle of his story. Merry Christmas Marie!!

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Jennifer Giuffre-Donohue

I absolutely agree! I try to be present for everyone but especially my children…they’ve taught me to stop and check in with myself to really make sure that I’m listening when they’re talking to me. I can always get back to what I was doing but I won’t always get back those moments with them if I don’t choose to be present. Building that kind of a relationship with my kids is so important to me. Happy holidays to you & lots of great “presence” for all!

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Bridget

perfect!
May this be a reminder on a daily basis.
Have a fantastic new year!

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Emily

I completely agree with you. The most precious gift we can give is our presence and our time. Merry Christmas to everyone!!

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Lana - Help! I Can't Stop Eating

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to you too!

I love the idea of being fully present and couldn’t
agree with you more. When I think about it, the
best times I’ve ever had in my life is when I’ve had
the best conversations and connection with people.
The secret?….We were fully present with one another.

Love you
Merry Christmas!
Lana

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Amethyst Mahoney

I’d say I agree with this on the surface, but I think the best gift you can give actually goes deeper than that: non-judgment. You can be present with people and still not get along, still argue with them about the dumbest things, and still take them for granted.

Yes, giving your full presence does go a ways to help alleviate that, but it’s up to you to make the effort to see them as a wonderful being of light and love. That takes a LOT more practice than just being present. I was working with a client of mine on being more present with her husband earlier this year. When I asked her how it was going, the conversations went something like this:

H: “Not so well. We spend more time together, eat together, go out together, and are really connected.”
Me: “But I thought that’s what you wanted.
H: “I thought so, too. But now I realize how much I just don’t like him!”

:-)

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Susie

Great message Marie!
Merry Xmas to you & your team!
Feel the LOVE

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Regina

Sending Glad Tidings of Comfort & Joy to all those whose eyes & hearts alight upon this simple message.
Presence is a daily practice in everything, and the reminder is beautiful.
I so appreciate the light you’ve added in the World Marie & team! xo

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Aradia G. of Aradia's Hand

Lovely video and a wonderful message to share with the community. Regardless of what holiday you celebrate, when you do get together really being together is important!

Love you Marie & Team, and I wish you all a Merry Christmas and fantastic New Year! XXOO

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Irene

Hey Marie

I have a story that might really ring true to you (being a step-mom) that revolve around tough-love attention and divided attention in family systems…..

Seth and I are actually taking some much needed time away from the cold of Vancouver and are in the Baja. La Ventana to be exact. We spent the first 10 days here alone hanging out, sleeping, making awesome food and playing on the beach, paddling boarding etc…Then about 5 days ago Seth’s 12 year old son came to visit for a while. It was actually my suggestion when we were planning this trip and I did it with a little fear because any time I’ve been around with both of them, his son changes into a very young 5 year old and demands Seth’s attention like crazy. This drives me crazy as there are manners and such that I would never go if it was my kid….I also understand that he only sees him twice a year so it is important to let them have their time – BUT, the time is often in manipulation and his kid competing with me. So on the 2nd day he was here, Seth and I were talking about something as we were walking down the path back to our house and his kid totally cut me off and interrupted…I waited until he was done saying what he said and then gave this situation MY FULL ATTENTION and said, “so, as I was saying…”. I didn’t say it with meanness, just with sternness. It definitely upset his son as he ran ahead to the house, went in to change his clothes and when he went upstairs there were definitely some sniffles…What is AMAZING about me doing this and providing boundaries is that that day his attitude towards me TOTALLY changed. He started interacting with me, being more “12-year old like”, wanting to hang on his iPad, read his mysteries novels…Since then, he has become totally less competitive and has actually allowed Seth and I to have some quality time going for walks on the beach together etc.

It was a definite lesson for everyone, especially Seth who only wants his boy to be happy and not emotionally challenged.

I’m sure you could share some stories of your own on this one!!!

love to you and Josh, Irene. xo

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Kelly Moss

I’ve been working on this all weekend with my family. There is really no better gift. You got it right.
However, being present (and being present to be non-judgmental), I find myself getting frustrated with family that does not give me their presence. …best way for me is to then remember forgiveness and immediately send out love.
But it is hard for me because my Mom and sister will talk more about celebrities and T.V. shows they want to watch, or xmas movies they need to watch again *than* discuss emotional topics.
I’m working on staying present with them and just sending them love; because I do love them.
When I visit my family I have learned to celebrate our differences rather than be frustrated by them. I am happier, they are happier.

Also, I can see in stranger’s eyes a happiness when I connect with them, even if just for a moment…and I feel the happiness too.
Thanks for the opportunity to say all of this here.

Love to Marie and everyone here. :)

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Sophie

I got this powerful gift from your friend Kris Carr at RHH Live this year. I just wanted to thank her for her generosity and in the midst of a book launch, heading out the door to catch a plane, being walked and talked by an assistant? and other people wanting her attention, she was fully present with me for however long the moment was and fully received my gratitude. What an impact and example for me. And I don’t even personally/in a personal way/not sure how to phrase this mean anything to her. Just another human she fully committed to interacting with when she chose to interact with me.

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Heather Chauvin

Love as always Marie. Merry Christmas!

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MaziGrace

Love the message of today’s video. I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. Instead I have a word for the year. This coming year my WORD is PRESENT. It IS the best give of all to yourself, those you love and the world.

Here’s my blog post …
http://myawakeninglife.com/2012/12/23/my-word-for-2013-and-the-winner-is-present/

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Sherold Barr

Happy Holidays Marie – what a good video about what we all want most – presence. Earlier this year in Feb., my 28-year-old son was diagnosed with a rare genetic disease that destroyed his liver. We went through five months of his health crisis and I am proud to say that I managed to be present for all but two weeks, when I was in a “worry trance.” He told me early on in this process when I was in the first “trance” that I was being negative and worrying if he would lose his job, and I was shocked because I thought since I do some much of The Work / inquiry that this would not be me! I apologized and he said, “Mom, I’m just trying to help you wake up.” Last night we celebrated our Christmas (he celebrated Hanukka with his dad and family a few weeks back), and I told him he was the best presents I could ever have. Everything else means nothing in the material world. So thank you for this beautiful video to remind us all again what matters most. Thank you for your leadership.

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Christine

Yes, yes, yes… The gift of Presence! The constant phone checking is irritating at best, and sometimes down right insulting; Being fully present in your life is what it’s all about. “there is no dress rehearsal”. You aren’t fully living, when you are otherwise occupied with habitual behaviors and thoughts that take you away from the present moment.
Along these same lines, I recently wrote about how the gift of “experiences” trumps material things in terms of “happiness advantage” on my blog. (www.creatingyourhealth.com) Concert tickets, theater, adventures, spa dates, etc.. are more memorable, time spent together is the common denominator! This year, we did not exchange traditional gifts, we gave the gift of time and presence to each other, and it’s been great!
Merry Christmas everybody! and Marie, I love your dress!! so pretty.
~Christine

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Rowena List

Can you believe we do not have any cell phones at our dinner table. We had 13 for dinner last night and the conversation was so full and so present. Not a phone was ringing, not a text was texting ( not even in spell check. that should be a big hint). Not a beep not a peep. Solid good old fashion Christmas Eve traditions.
The only reason I am on my computer now is because I am so “organized” for dinner tonight!! I wanted to clean off my desk and my inbox in preparation for 2013. I can not help it. I am a professional organizer. It is in my blood.
Happy holidays.

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Susan Miranda

YES! Another thing that I say a lot that feels very relevant especially this time of the year is that obligation is not love. While I believe is being committed and am very loyal to people I love, I have also decided that when someone does something out of obligation, it is not a gift at all. At least not anything I want to receive. Thank you Marie.

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Ana Poirier

Marie,
I love this!
In fact, I sent out something quite similar to my list yesterday.
We are so on the same page. ;-)

Now, off to gift my presence.
Happy Holidays!

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adita

Marie, I so agree!! I didn’t even take phone pics of the food or anything as i usually do and am so picky about…not this year! Mom is with us at 83 and so enjoy her company and God willing will have her next year as well!

Thanks Marie!

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Jeanne

Ha! Ha!
One of the ways my Sons and I connect with Grandma and Grandpa is showing them how to work their devices. Every time we visit, we answer all of their questions and show them all sorts of short cuts and how to’s on iPhone and iPad so they can keep up with the world. How about that!
:):)
Happy Holidays everyone!

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Ingrid

True Dat. Happy Holiday’s All,

Back to the family!

Ingrid

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Rachel Strisik

Thank you for this video. It is so true that we are all addicted to phones, computers, etc. Giving attention to people we love is the best gift to yourself as well as those around you. As a mother and business owner this is always something that I struggle with. However, just hearing/seeing this message again will allow me to be more present with my family this holiday season. I am so looking forward to it. I realize that my girls (5 yr. old identical twins) are even more perceptive then I think and I don’t want to have them remember me being not present. Again, thank you for this message at a time when it is needed most!

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Jay Westbrook

Thank you Sweet Heart.
as always, in love & service – jay

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Chris

Unconditional undivided attention is like gold and makes those you love and care about feel wonderful.

Thanks Marie for all that you do and shining the light!

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Vivienne

OMG – this is SOOOO true! Thanks for the reminder!!!!

Off to spend time with my amazing family and give then my full attention!!!

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Donna

being present with family, friends and strangers is one of the best things you can do for yourself and those around you.

not everyone can do this, but i consciously choose to do a phone plan without unlimited data, so that I could practice being present with family and at work. it also makes you think about why you’re checking the phone so often. it’s an opportunity to check in with yourself and get real about why you’re doing it.

i hope everyone will be able to extend being present beyond the holidays and into 2013!

thanks marie for your enLIGHTenment :)

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Renee

Hi Marie,

Thanks for this video.

This was the strangest and hardest Holiday season of my life. It has been about creating boundaries for myself around the people I love. I was feeling terribly overwhelmed by expectations about who/where I was “supposed to” spend the holiday with. (deep connections I’ve created in a 6 hour radius + family in the same zone and a dear friend who was just diagnosed with terminal cancer) I realized I was neither in the festive holiday mood nor have I the ability to honestly be present with the people I love.

After spending 2 weeks with my dying friend I attempted to keep my commitments to the rest of the people on my Christmas list. I stopped my holiday travels mid-point and returned to my own home where I’ve spent the last few days quietly with my housemate. No bells and whistles, no expectations. the word “disappointment” has come up from several people over the last couple of days. I already feel guilty for not being “available” and “enough”

I’ve been struggling that I’ve hurt peoples feelings (specifically family) but I had to decide if putting on airs to placate was more important than my own peace.

It has not been easy but it wasn’t fun or easy to wrestle and feel like I was failing with inner turmoil and distractions at the same time desperately want and know the importance being present with the people I care about. I am still conflicted about this.

I am so grateful for all the people who love me, yet making myself available to them on their terms is stressful to me, and I don’t know how to make it better.

Any thoughts?

Thanks,
Renee

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wac

You need to take care of yourself first. Your peace matters most. Other peoples’ expectations are their own problems — not your problems. No one has RIGHT to your presence or your attention — only those to whom YOU choose to gift it, on your own timetable. There is entirely too much “guilting” in the world, and families are too often the worst offenders.

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Nicole Root

Marie,
I could not agree more! And it is refreshing to know that there are others out there who get it and promote it! I work with with families with young children helping them transform their playspaces so they can be more present and in the moment with their children. Ironically, my post last began like this: “This is the time of year when many of us are thinking about PRESENTS, either what we would like to receive for ourselves or what we would like to give to others. As much as it may be on the top of our minds, I would rather take a moment to talk about PRESENCE…” My work keeps it on the forefront of my mind when I am going through my day and spending time with my friends and family. Thanks for bringing this to our attention. We need to be reminded often!

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Angela Todd

My kids and I resolved to do 26 random acts of kindness to commemorate the 26 school folks killed in CT. We decided to bring hot chocolate to the crossing guards in the downtrodden neighborhood we drive through. The first elderly gent WEPT and it was hard to look in his eyes and be present, but I felt compelled. He told me how he just wants to keep the kids safe, but they are disrespectful to him, and he was sad about ‘kids these days.’ It was me, him, hand to hand over a hot chocolate while my kids waited in the car. There was no place for me to go, and in the end I was glad. We delivered 9 hot chocolates that day and no other experience was like the first one. I came away thinking we’d both been really present, had really seen each other. Now I’m going to try to have that presence with my kids as we are all home for two weeks together. WISH ME LUCK! Love love love you, Marie, and how you help me think and feel. xx old lady archivist fan

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Maria Bosak

Merry Christmas Marie!

Thank you for this wonderful message. I read this after spending a few days with my family. And you know what? You are exactly right. I was never without my phone and it didn’t feel good. I’m taking your advice and leaving it in my purse next time. ON SILENT.

xo,
Maria

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Stephen Hart

Great vid! Merry Christmas to you Marie. Would love to know how you plan to top 2012 in 2013 :-) What big and grand goals are you setting and how will you plan, measure and gauge your success?? Would love your thoughts on this as we enter into 2013… I’m sure many of us would do well learning a successful technique for goal setting, planning, action items to achieve and succeed at them.

Thanks and Happy New Year to you and yours!~

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Dawn H.

I do not have a mobile phone, so I do not do the check in thing….but a blast from the past alerted me to the importance of what you spoke of: Christmas Eve, I received a mysterious package from a cousin whom I have not seen for over 35 years! She sent me a photo of our Dad’s with our Grandfather! In her note she told me she could not tell me how much it meant to her when I took time with her to teach her how to draw when she was little. She was at the tail end of a very large family and not paid much attention to by the others….(the boys were more important). She was much younger than me and the other kids my age did not have time for her either. Wow! My daughter was just doing the same sort of thing for a littlest cousin this holiday and telling us about it! I am so glad! When we are present, we are giving a present, no matter when, or who we are with!

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Mira Binzen

Thanks, Marie! So true. Not only is full presence with another a wonderful gift, it’s essential for good health! This is one of the main messages we share with families who have kids with anxiety, ADHD, sensory processing issues, etc. Connection = Calm!

It was great to get a behind-the-scenes peek at Marie.TV too!

Blessings and bliss in this season of light.

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Maria Ross

Being fully present has become a constant mantra for me after nearly dying from a ruptured brain aneurysm 4 years ago. Not only do I HAVE to focus more and multi-task less due to cognitive issues, I have to say it’s a GIFT to do so as well. While I shocked doctors with my recovery and can fully function, drive – and even do public speaking, write books and serve my rockstar clients thought my brand strategy business – I make it a point to sense when I’m on the hamster wheel of stress and proacitvely disengage to give my full time and attention to the moment. It has not only enriched my work with clients, but my relationships and my life.

This is a lesson I had to learn the hard way with a health crisis, but thanks Marie, for reiterating this powerful gift. It doesn’t have to take your brain exploding to learn these lessons! That is my message in my book and in my speaking.

We have the chance every day to appreciate and be present. No one’s perfect – even I get caught up in the crap like everyone else. We’re all human. But if you can somehow set that little “alarm” in your brain to go off when you are not focused and present, you will soon train yourself to recognize, pull back, power down and be present with what (and who) is right in front of you. Quality over quantity.

Happy holidays, ya’ll!

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Vicky

Wow Maria, I hope all is well. You have touched my heart so deeply. I thank you for your comment. May you have a wonderful new year, wishing you health and prosperity.

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darris

When my son was born I made a decision to be ‘present’ as a parent. Today me and my nearly 17 year-old son have a fabulous relationship. He wrote in my Christmas card: “No matter what the situation you are always there to support me. I wanted to say thanks for all the things you do to help me grow as a person . . . “. No word of material things.

You are spot on Marie, what truly matters most is that we are present with people, especially our loved ones. It’s what will matter most throughout life.

Happiest New Year to you! Thank you so much for your videos, they contribute so much to my life. xxoo

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Vicky

That is so precious! I pray to be that mother that receives a card like that from her son! I have two boys – I will try even harder now – to be present!

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Monika

Thanks Marie!

You as always bring me an inspiration. As I was watching your last video about the being present into people lifes, it actually make me very sad. I move to USA 4 years ago to live my dreams in land of dreamers, but i was not able to visit my love ones since then.
I wish i was more present for them and show how much you ca change your life by only staying positive and my love and peace around you.

Keep up a great work and hope for more insirational videos!

Monika

P.S. click at my website if you want to help me achive my dream to going to Poland ;)

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Catherine

Well, the good news is that I was so focused on family yesterday, that I didn’t get a chance to watch your video until today. :D I saw it waiting in my inbox on my phone as I was headed to a relative’s home and have been dying to view your video. It definitely made me feel better knowing I was doing exactly what you suggested…and that I didn’t miss a “Marie Moment” at all.

Thank you for reminding us all the importance of family and friends, and to cherish our time now by being present. We won’t regret a moment of it.

Have a wonderful 2013. Your videos are a highlight for me every week! Thank you!

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wac

I don’t have a cell phone, and I wouldn’t have one, even though it would sometimes be convenient. NO ONE has the right to be in my pocket all the time. Too many people take constant and selfish advantage of other peoples’ accessibility, to the extent that it has become the norm. Well, not around here!

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Linda

I realized something recently that was one of those moments that made me inwardly say, “well, duh!” to myself – like why didn’t I get this before? I was telling someone about a manager who worked supervising my husband, and how that person’s management style didn’t bring out the best in him, and I realized that some of the things he does that irritate me, I was trying to modify – by using the same techniques. If he doesn’t respond well to correction, because it’s not framed in praise, how can I think that being irritated with him over a dirty kitchen or an unswept porch is going to forward any positive action? So, next time there is a small lake on the counter and the new paper towels are all wet, or leaves are being tracked in off the porch, I will remember something he does well, and give him praise rather than annoyance. After all, leaves can be swept out of the hallway back onto the porch and into the grass, and the paper towels will dry out. It’s a lot harder to turn a hurt expression into a smile. Being present to what really matters rather than focused on the little piddly things is the place to start!

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Erna Sigurdardottir

Thank you for this,I just needit to remind my self of that.

Happy holidays from Iceland :)

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Amy Merli

Love it!! The crazy technology epidemic. I think I may add into my resolution no phone/computer after 8pm. Thanks for the inspiration! Cheer!

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Sheree

So true. Last night I was updating my journal at the dining room table at my parents’ home. My nephew’s new wife came into the room and sat down. I hesitated, then put down my pen, closed the journal, and started a conversation. She’d seemed a bit homesick all day (first Christmas away from her own family), so I started asking her questions based on comments from earlier in the day and she started talking. We talked for well over an hour before moved into another room with other family members. No phones, no interruption. Just gave her my undivided attention. I hope it helped her feel more at home–it seemed to, and I learned a lot about her work ethic and creative instincts for her job in the process.

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Vicky

Sheree, that is so precious! You were so kind and generous! I’m sure she thinks the world of you now!

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Yan Huang

@Marie – You’re absolutely right. I find myself getting caught up with way too many distractions half the time, especially nearing the holidays that I forget that just being there in the presence counts way more than lofty presents, although they are nice too. Thanks for this video!

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Kerry

It is so important to be present in the moment, every moment. This applies to the big and the little in your life. Toddlers love you to get down on the floor and play with them.It is fun for us too.

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Vicky

Kerry! You’re absolutely right! I have two boys – presence is very essential when playing and doing stuff together! I gotta say though, it’s not easy!

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Vicky

Marie, hope you and your team had a wonderful Christmas! We sure did! I’m really bad about being present and have been working very hard at it. On Christmas Eve, we were going to a family dinner and I forgot my phone at home!!!! I was so upset at first, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise :) I am so thankful for that phone free night, we made lots of wonderful memories!

Xoxo
V

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Reese

Marie,

Great video! You know it’s funny. I am Jewish and I live in Israel. Orthodox Jews keep the sabbath in a way that is totally foreign to the rest of the world. On Friday sundown until Saturday sundown we are not allowed to use electronics, turn the lights on and off (we have timers do this for us), cook food (we prepare all the food ahead of time and keep it hot with a hot plate), drive our cars, and a whole lot more. This forces us to give our full attention on our family and friends. Each Friday night my family and I sit around our dining room table eating an amazing hot dinner that is clearly different from the food we eat during the week. We sing songs at the table, ask each other questions about the week that has past, and just enjoy one another. On Saturday for lunch we again sit around our table and enjoy one hell of a meal. We often invite friends to join or or we’re invited out to eat at a friend’s home. Since there is no driving we are forced to take a stroll around the neighborhood, something we would never do during the week. I realize that no everyone can completely disengage the way the Orthodox Jews do but I highly suggest doing something small once a week to allow yourself to connect with friends and family and be truly present in the lives in the people you love the most. Your blog post really hit home with me, Marie and I hope it did with your readers!

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dani

Marie,
Great vid, always great vids. You are awesome, no doubt… but what is up with the $30 price on your audio book? Usually audio book prices are lower than that..especially if the book isn’t hardcover. Want to read it, but won’t with that price. Confused..

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Tal

I’m happy to report that I did give my full attention to my family this Christmas! So much so that I didn’t see this video until today :)

I think this was the first Christmas in a long time that I decided to back away from my cell phone and just enjoy the company of my family. I didn’t completely turn off my phone though, so I did go check in on my phone maybe a total of 4 times. I was getting texts from friends and so I’d just message them back and then go back to my family. But I checked so few times that I consider this a HUGE improvement, and I really did feel like I was present – physically and mentally – the whole day.

I think I’m going to try to expand this to pick one day a week and unplug. I find the constant checking in on facebook, twitter, etc. very time consuming, and I never feel too great afterwards anyway.

Thanks for this video Marie! I’m grateful I stumbled upon your website last month. I hope you’re having a wonderful holiday with your family and friends.

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Claudia

HUGE difference, being present or not. And also being present with yourself, being in the moment, just slowing down for a little bit.
Listening to what people have to say and to tell.
Listening to stories we may have not heard before.
Listening to what your own heart has to say.
Priceless and precious.

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Elizabeth Grace Saunders

I completely agree!

http://www.reallifee.com/e-note-the-gift-of-your-presence

To your brilliance!
Elizabeth Grace Saunders

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Natalie @ Pretendist

Love this! My “word” for 2013 is “cultivate” – cultivate relationships and great conversations. Both of which happen when tech is turned OFF!

Great post, great message.

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Karina

Thanks so much for the reminder, Marie! Being present isn’t easy, but it’s always worth it. People can truly sense when you’re with them fully, and it’s the one thing that’s improved my relationships this year.

One thing I find helpful when I find myself out of the present moment is to focus on a tiny detail: it could be a strand of hair, the edge of a coffee cup, or a shirt button. Somehow, putting my attention on these details helps bring me back into the present.

Love to you and yours this holiday season.

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LOGAINAlsatti

Ok , here we go ,,,I really need to talk about this cause it’s concern me a lot ,,,,I’m preparing to start a new business about cake decoration omg and I’m so excited about it a cute little cake boutique named la petit sweets to make wedding cakes and sell petit elegant french pastry ok and I had a chances to do a lard cakes for my friend and I know my self pretty organized but it always take me much longer than what I expected ,,,,but the thing is I’m not giving my family the attention that they need and today when I spend the whole day with my 2 years old twines I cried like a baby cause I discovered that they are growing up a lot and I felt that I missed a lot of their growing ,,,,,I don’t know what to do I really want to be present in my family life but I don’t want to give up my dream and this is my biggest fear ,,,,help!

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Ralf Weber

Thank you for this post Marie! I am always amazed by how many groups or couples will sit in restaurants starring at their cell phones instead of talking to each other. Cell phones are great because they have silent modes and off buttons and there is nothing wrong with using them. The world is not going to end if a call goes to voice mail or a text or email is only answered a couple of hours later. Over 10 years in the management and technology consulting business has taught me that 50% of all ‘urgent’ problem take of themselves or disappear altogether if ignored for a few hours first. Once we realize that not being available 24/7 works just as well, we have much improved life quality.

Btw, I found you through Social Triggers and I love your blogs. You seem like an interesting person to talk to with good perspectives :)

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Elisa Lionne

Happy holidays Marie and team MarieTV!

I love this video and I love that you’re so consistent in emphasizing the importance of being present. Rock on! :D

I experienced massive shifts in my relationships when I trained myself to LISTEN to what others have to say and to NOT interrupt them. That’s major. Because we all like to talk :D and our ego likes to show off and talk about our opinion and make sure that everyone knows how smart we are. Right?! ;)
But what happens when you’re not so attached to your own opinion and just allow others to share what’s on their mind is that the other person has room to dive deeper and realize aspects of this topic/situation or about themselves that they weren’t aware of before. And you can see how “they get it”. And you get to know them on a much deeper level and you CONNECT and BOND with them more deeply. It really is a gift to have someone who allows you to say everything you want to say and who just listens. It is equally as precious for the speaker as it is for the listener.

Through the practice of listening my relationships to my loved ones now feel much more honest, loving and nurturing.
And in my coaching practice I realized that people appreciate working with me so much because I create a safe space for them to share openly and honestly – without interruption and without judgement. They are free to share their story with me and it’s marvelous to watch how they become aware of limiting beliefs and harmful habits without me even saying a word. Just by being present with them and creating an opportunity for them to think about what they would normally avoid thinking about.

I feel very blessed to do this work and that’s why I invite people to do a free coaching session with me and share their story with me. This is an opportunity for people to talk about their dreams and desires in a safe environment. The simple act of talking about it with another person opens up the floodgates and opportunities show up like never before.

So again, I love that :) and it’s my constant practice to be more present and to listen carefully to what others have to say. By doing this I realize – we are all one. What’s in me is also in you and together we can achieve anything!

With so much love and gratitude,
Elisa

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Lisa Haupert

Huge, huge, huge! The best present I gave this year was undivided attention to my son and his wife. They got that I really cared and was deeply interested in what was going on with them and some critical health conditions facing her. It made all the difference.

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E L

Love the heart of your show. Merry Christmas and be blessed in the New Year!

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cheptiony mutai

I am unable to read the overwhelming comments on this video! I had an exciting Christmas with my father(now 91) and he couldn’t telling everyone; this is my son!Presence means a lot! Happy holidays Marie.

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charlene

Love it! I’m a Virginia girl living in Cali, so when I go home to visit, I am very much on vacay! In general, I only see my family once to twice a year ~ and I’m an only child ~ so, it’s super important to me to soak up every minute I’m with them. It’s rare that I’ll be on the computer or my phone when I’m visiting ~ so, I didn’t even watch this video till today (5 days after it was posted) now that I’m back home in Cali.

Thanks again for the message to keep us ever-mindful of being present! ;-)

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Ed

Hello Marie
First an foremost Happy Holidays to you and your family,friends and staff.
I want to complement your work and all the sound and valuable advice that you share with us, your fans and followers.
On the subject of giving ourselves, that you just talked about I am 100% in agreement with you it is a basic principle that we tend to forget, because of our busy fast paced world.
I personally try to hop off the spinning wheel of life, to give my attention to the people, animals and nature that surrounds me.
It does takes effort but it is well worth it to stop, listen, feel and enjoy giving a minute here and there.
At the end of the journey of life we may look back and see the vast print of those little moments and steps that we spare to give and we left behind.
Best wishes for you
Thank you

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charlottegracehunt

Hello
Thank you Marie and your Team, for the positivity and practcal advice you share and inspriation. Like many I am setting my 2013 intentions and being present with loved ones, and my fledgling business are top priorities!
Happy New Year!
Charlotte
x

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Coco

Beautiful message Marie!

Presence was also my Christmas blog topic: http://www.sensuousmind.com/how-to-make-the-holidays-a-true-celebration

With love,
Coco

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Caroline Stahlschmidt

Perfect timing! I’m getting ready to make my first video for a launch and needed a reminder that everyone has a first time… just put it out there and keep learning. Super fun to see your progression. Thanks, Marie!

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Caroline Stahlschmidt

Oops! The above comment was for the video that landed in my inbox today about the history of MarieTV but I guess isn’t posted on the website yet. They are all good! Thanks!

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Vanina Gallo

Hi Marie,
Your presence on internet is a gift, thank you for being an inspiration and giving us the best of yourself.
I decided that my presence and attention is the best I can give to my 12 years old daughter : instead of defending educational principles, I’ve decided to release (most of) them and take time to listen, learn from her and enjoy as much as possible the time we spend together (even if we don’t talk).
This Christmas was a tough period for me but I did a video for my website (my vision of 2013), my gift to you as an inspirational coach (the video is in english) : http://vaninagallo.com/nouvelle-annee-nouveau-jour-en-beaute/
Happy new year “out of the box” from France !
Vanina

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Ann Gomez

Dear Maria,
I just loved this post. What a great reminder of the most important part of the holiday season. Thanks!

I loved your quote about how often people check their phones (150 times per day or every 6.3 minutes). I didn’t catch the source. Would you mind sharing it?

Thanks,
Ann

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Gloria Roheim McRae

Love this. Thank you for the weekly burst of inspiration and action.

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Grace

Marie! This has to be your best message yet…and there have been so many great ones. This one just really hits home. My life has changed drastically from a quiet life with one client for 9 years to no clients for 4 months (lost them) to a hectic life with 6 new clients! I can barely breathe or sleep lately and I feel my dreams slipping away as the work takes over everything. I check my phone at LEAST every 6.5 minutes! And I hate it! And sometimes I have to leave the people I love waiting. I hate that too. I’m going to stop that right now. And make a sincere effort in 2013 to manage my workload, fire clients if I must, and get back to the things I really want to do. That’s for the head’s up…and all of the inspiration. (and the giggles too)
Happy New Year!

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apps

I delight in, result in I found exactly what I used to be taking a look for. You’ve ended my 4 day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye

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locks

i love it thanks it is inspiration

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danny

its reality, love it thanks

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Tucson

look Verry good

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willow

i like this in the front of this page

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