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How To Deal With Jealousy & Being Intimidated By Another’s Success

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First up, THANK YOU for your incredible support last week during Hurricane Sandy.

In the West Village we were without power, cell service and heat all week, but things got back on track over the weekend.

I’m deeply grateful to be safe and for your notes of love and concern via email, Twitter and Facebook.

Friends took great care of us and we were extremely lucky. In fact, I had some of the most rich and enjoyable experiences that I’ve had in years (limited access to technology tends to do that!).

However, the devastation from this storm, like all natural disasters in recent years, has left tens of thousands of people homeless. It’s demolished places I love dearly so please continue to send your prayers and support to the folks who truly need it.

Now onto today’s episode, which is something I think we can all relate to: feeling jealous.

Whether we’re envious of someone’s relationship, fame or business success, jealousy is a normal human experience. It doesn’t make you bad or unspiritual and it’s certainly nothing to be embarrassed about.

The challenge comes when your mind gets hooked on one particular person. That’s when normal jealousy can turn into an obsession fest.

In this haunted state, no matter what you do, you can’t seem to stop comparing yourself to one person. You measure yourself against them at every turn. No matter how hard you try, you can’t help feeling like they’ve already “cornered the market.”

If you can relate to this, watch as one brave reader shares her jealousy experience and I offer a shift in perspective that will help her get back in her zone.

“There’s always room at the top.” Daniel Webster via @MarieForleo

As promised, here’s our other MarieTV episodes on jealousy. Watch more about how to deal with competition or another great episode about being jealous of people in your industry.

In the comments below this video, I’d love to hear from YOU.

Do you have a story to share about finding more room at the top that will inspire Veronica? Do you see even more ways for her to expand her fantastic business?

Your experiences and ideas matter so leave a comment and let us know.

Thank you, as always for watching and contributing to this fantastic, global community.

P.S. Save the date because I’m talking with Oprah on Sunday, November 18th at 11am ET for Super Soul Sunday on OWN! We’re going to be tweeting and FB’ing LIVE with Oprah herself so please join us. For more details and a sneak peek at this episode go here.

With all my love,

Marie Forleo

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Read the comments or Add yours

Robyn Keet

Hey Guys

I had the same exact situation so I know exactly how Miss V feels. What I did was I approached my direct competition with some simple questions that gave me more information about their business verses mine. I realised although we were in the exact industry doing what appeared to be the same thing we were actually fairly different with our approaches. That was exciting for me as this gave me more room to work in while not cutting myself short.

An important thing to always remember is that regardless if you are doing the same services or products as others out there the world has enough people in it that you both can servicour and be successful. We are people that like variety.

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Grace

Hi Robyn.
I reallly like your advice on finding the difference! :)

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Danielle

As do I, Robyn! Perspective requires taking that step back.

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Sabrina Cohen

Agreed! I approached people I admire and do one of two things:

1) ask if they’d be willing to share some insight— almost like a mentorship—
2) offer to help them in some way.

Either way, I acknowledge my respect for them and that usually quells the jealousy. It allows you to see them as a person who probably stood in a similar place as you at some point, and also opens the door for a fruitful relationship. I am constantly working on this as I build my blog (www.littlemissmojo.com). I see a lot of my ideas put out by others and that can be frustrating, but it also acknowledges that I’m on the right/relevant track.

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Maria

When you are jealous, it’s because you see the other person through your own self-centered lens. These lens identify the other person as a threat and instigate the “self-doubt” mechanism. This all feels terrible.

The solution is to take away the self-centered lens. How? By learning more about the other person. Seriously, if you do feel jealous, then study the other person. What are they saying, what do they believe in, what is their story, what are their fears, hopes, and dreams.

By learning more about them you start seeing that person more as who actually they are and less as you first perceived them through your self-centered lens. The result? Jealousy is no longer there, because it’s just not…relevant any more. You realize you have nothing to fear. The other person is just someone normal, with hopes and fears, and not the god/goddess you imagined they are at first. Their success no longer seems intimidating. On the contrary, you may find it inspiring!

And what a great shift to experience…from jealousy to inspiration.

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Chas

Very, very well put, Maria;
When those feelings of envy arrive of someone, perhaps change your perspective and try to think of them as a mentor, rather than a competitor.
“Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point – that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative – self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it’s a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.”~ Jennifer James

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D'Arcy Benincosa

I love Jennifer James so much! I met her a few years ago and loved her work. This is a great quote and a great reminder!

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Eleanor

Wow ~ those are some profound words right there: from jealousy to inspiration. Yes! I love it! It aligns perfectly with the shift from fear to love — simply different flavors of each root emotion.

Brilliant, as usual!

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Maria,
You are definitely right, that we are all human after all and by getting to know one another, negative thoughts should disappear. Thanks so much for your advice!- Veronika

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Michelle Christina

This so true & such a helpful reminder. Thank you Maria!

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Trish

shift…from jealousy to inspiration.” I love this :-) And I never noticed before the the jealousy was the word lousy in it. Makes total sense.

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Elly Klein

Veronica, instead of seeing other doll-makers as competitors, try seeing them as teachers.

Emulate what they do well and put your own unique spin on it. Note what they do poorly and make sure you don’t make the same mistakes.

As a writer, I’m constantly reading other writers’ work and learning, learning, learning. Sometimes I think, ‘I LOVE how they expressed that.’ Other times I think, ‘Note to self: stay away from that controversial topic!’ I never allow myself to feel threatened. I just work on being the best writer I can be.

I thought Marie gave you some great tips for your website. Good luck with your adorable doll business. :-)

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Victoria

Love what you said Elly, I agree 1000%! ‘Emulate what they do well and put your own unique spin on it.’ That’s powerful and so darn true!
I used to (and sometimes still do) feel jealous of others especially when it feels as if the whole world is doing better than me. But then I remind myself that some of the big successes we see have been doing it for years! For instance, there’s this one person in my niche who I thought was amazing but then I did some research and found out she’s been doing this for 7 years so no wonder she has a loyal customer base. Often successful people seem to have it easy but all we’re looking at is the result and not the journey. They’ve been through the hard slog and the tough periods just like any body else. Take inspiration from them but also identify the things they could do better and make sure your business provides it. Always think, ‘what could be improved in my industry’ and strive to provide that.

Marie, I loved loved loved the advice you gave in this video! I think if Veronica made the changes you suggested her business would be booming! I so need to get my toosh into b-school!

Now I’m off to find my piggy bank :)

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Elly,
“Note what they do poorly and make sure you don’t make the same mistakes.” I love this! I have noted -what I would call – mistakes on competitor’s websites – of course they might think differently! – and I constantly make sure that I follow my own path that I think is right.

Besides my business I’m finishing my degree in Literature and Creative Writing this year, so there’s a little connection between you and me! :)

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment!
Veronika

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Elly Klein

Arr! Sorry that I spelled your name with a ‘c’ and not a ‘k’. I hate it when people misspell my name.

Thanks for the response. Glad it helped you. And good luck with completing your degree. Sounds interesting!

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Veronika Lavey

No worries Elly! :)

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Nadia Chaudhry

That is a great question. I’ve had that thought about a few others in my industry! I love it! Especially the tweetable!

There IS always room at the top!

Thanks Marie,
Nadia C.

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Brenda

Great Q and great A! I dye yarn and design knitting patterns. I’m one of thousands of tiny businesses doing the same. Is there room at the top? There sure is! Largely because I’m not competing with my fellow dyers and designers. I pay attention to what they’re up to, but I don’t spend a lot of time on it. I’m just continuing to focus on what makes Phydeaux (my biz) unique and special. And focusing on my target/ideal market, which isn’t necessarily identical to that of the biggest name designers and yarn dyers.

I absolutely loved a previous video of Marie’s re how to deal with jealousy/envy. It was a total game changer for me – I now rarely get jealous about my colleagues’ successes. Instead, I now use that feeling as mu barometer, recognizing that I’m experiencing the envy, and then what I need to do to create a similar success for myself. *After* I figure out if it’s really feasible given my current work load and priorities, and if it fits in with my business model and goals.

My perspective is that design is continually evolving, you can be on the top today and obscure tomorrow, but your particular thing may be JUST what a lot of people have been hoping for. Build your business, build a fanatically loyal customer base, continue to learn and grow – the rest will come! (And B-School is a total game changer also – can’t recommend it highly enough!)

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Linda

Just visited your site, Brenda and absolutely LOVE it! You are doing all the right things to attract business ~ and, I am so inspired that after years of procrastination, I’ve decided to finally learn how to knit. :D

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Brenda

Thank you Linda! :)

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Veronika Lavey

Thanks Brenda! I’m checking out B-School! :)
Loving your beautiful hand dyed yarn!
Veronika

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Lena

Great video and tweetable ;)! Veronica, I loved the images on your site, I think you should not doubt yourself at all :) I agree with Marie, you need to show more dolls and also bigger pictures because, apart from the first image, it was difficult to see them – they’re very small. And I recommend you join B-School too, I loved it!
Good luck!

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Veronika Lavey

Thanks so much for your comment Lena!
Bigger pictures will be coming soon for sure! :)
Veronika

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Nancy Da Costa

Awesome advice! Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up with jealousy and envy of another person’s success, when it’s really much wiser to look up to and learn from the other person (and I don’t mean copying). We all have different combinations of strengths and experiences that create a unique representation so Veronica, definitely don’t be afraid of being yourself.

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Veronika Lavey

Thanks Nancy! :)
Veronika

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Lisa Cash Hanson

The air is always better at the top because there is a lot more room up there ;) We may all feel that “tinge” at one point or another but I always think of my thumbprint- not another one like it in the world. That means my message, my method and my delivery of my products and services is unlike anyone else in the world.

Veronica you could also show videos of you working on your dolls, the story behind them, and why creating them is important to you. Engage your audience and allow them to travel on a journey with you while you create a special doll for a child in need. Perhaps make one for an auction to raise money for your favorite cause or something wonderful like that.

Your clients will love being a part of something bigger then themselves and you will feel much bigger just by doing something so amazing. Then jealousy will just fade by the wayside :)

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Isabell Kinga Markus

Hi Lisa,
A video is great idea. I’d love to see a video from Veronica. You could really set an atmosphere for the dolls and showcase them in a way that cannot be done in a picture. . . . you’re giving me ideas too!

So true about the thumbprint! As an artist I get these ‘tinges’ often and it’s so good to be reminded of that on a daily basis.

Your last point is also so fabulous, thank you for this input! What a helpful post and thread in general!

Now to sign up for B-School! Not sure how appropriate it is for a mere painter but I want in!

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Lisa,
Ooooh, I love the video idea!
I’m planning on creating a collection of dolls next year, where all the profits would go to a named charitable organisation. But I didn’t think of including a video, which would work awesomely to engage my audience.
Thanks so much for that valuable idea!
Veronika

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Dana Williams

Veronika,
What a fabulous question! And honestly, something I deal with daily in my industry – social media. There are so many who have been at this longer than I have and they have the platforms to show for it!

Marie’s advice on your website is spot on. I also might add that your Twitter link at the bottom of your home page is broken.

It seems to me that with each heirloom doll you create, there is a story to be told of it’s creation and of the person who adopts each one. If you were able to tell those stories (with permission, of course!), that would give you a consistent stream of some highly engaging social media content! (I hope I’ve expressed that idea well-enough. If not, feel free to email me.)
Dana

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Dana,

Thanks very much for the tips!
I have just created a YouTube channel, which I’ll be using in the future for video uploads!
Exciting stuff!! :)

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rowan twosisters

Totally agree with the video idea, a little 1 minute video showing snapshots of your creation process, that would really connect you to your buyers which I think is good energetically and also creates huge customer loyalty.

And if the bespoke dolls are in a high price point range, then I’d include a little personal video as a follow up after purchase, as a thank you for the bespoke work.

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Veronika Lavey

Oooh Rowan I love the creation snapshots idea! That might be something I could add to my YouTube channel.
Thank you for your comment!
Veronika

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Leanne @ Healthful Pursuit

I go through these feelings daily! There are SO many food bloggers out there, and so many fantastic ones, too. I began my blog just 2 years ago and the best of the best have been around for 5+ years. They have a strong following, great writing skills and more press that I dream of ever having but Marie’s right, there is always room at the top. I think it just takes patience, hard work and belief in yourself and the story you have to share with the world.

Something I like to do is limit my involvement with the ‘competition’ so that I don’t run myself crazy thinking about it all. I visit their blogs once a week, that’s it. I see what they’re up to, then I leave. The more I visit, the more worried I get that I’m never going to make it, and then I end up digging myself a pity hole and no work gets done!

Believe in what you have (your dolls are amazing!) and shine with confidence! Your customers will be attracted to it and you’ll be up there in no time :)

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Nala

Leanne, I so relate to your mention of the “pity hole”! When I find myself there, I try to focus on one project on my to-do list to distract myself. Focusing on something else and doing it well helps me get out of the hole.

Great video with awesome website tips!

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Veronika Lavey

What a fantastic website you have Leanne! Beautiful pictures all the way through. I’ve just liked you on Facebook and will be sure to try some of your recipes!

Since I have sent Marie my question, like you, I have made myself stop checking out the competition so much. It’s amazing how much better I started to feel instantly and how much more I could concentrate on what I want to do! It all takes time and effort and one of my favourite quotes is ‘The harder you work the luckier you get’. :)

Thank you for your input!
Veronika

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Gemma

This is such a timely video as I’m in the process of making my own products more high-end and exclusive, and I was wondering, “Can I get as much success as the other people who already seem to be hogging the market?”. Watching this AND reading the comments make me question if they’re *actually* hogging the market, and to be honest, a lot of what I do might actually be just as good as (dare I say, better than?) my competitors. I just have to put those thoughts to one side and focus on what I want to achieve and how give my own clients the best darn tootin’ service I can do : )

Thanks Marie (and everyone else), really appreciated this : )

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Sarah

Yes, what a great and honest video! Paying too much attention to our competition is a sign we might not be putting the needed work into our own stuff.
But jealously is important to pay attention to since it alerts us to our priorities and what we want for ourselves. So it really helps to map out what we really want and gives us a way to achieve this, in our own style and on our own terms.

And I find it you pay attention closely enough, you’ll soon discover what your unique twist can be on the market.

Good luck,
Sarah

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Lindsey Best

Great advice as ever thank you and I’m just so glad you played Adam Ant! :-)

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Laura

What a great video! The first thing I thought when Marie read Veronika’s question was, ‘She needs to get into b-school!’ One aspect of b-school that helps me every day is Marie’s reminders that we are each unique and have something special to offer the world. Veronika, your dolls are amazing! I’d love to see more images of them too and once you get an e-mail opt-in on your site, I’m sure you’ll have no problem building your list.

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Veronika Lavey

Thanks so much Laura!
B-School is definitely on my list and my lovely web developer and I are working on the e-mail opt-in on the site (as of today!!:) ) I would love it if you signed up once it’s running. Until then, thank you so much for liking Veronika Lavey Design on Facebook!
:)
Veronika

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Lisa | Practically Intuitive

Hi Marie and everyone,

Great topic! Yes, we have ALL felt this way at one time or another. Remember that those you see all over the place were in your place one time and look where they got! You can too!

I just got a dose of this during my Crossfit (for chubsters) training. I was showing my husband my lunges and said I was having trouble doing one part of it and he did them perfectly. He also was able to do pushups perfectly. (GRR)

I told this to my trainer and she said ” Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to where you were six weeks ago. That’s your yardstick.”

And you know what? Six weeks ago, I couldn’t even do the warmups without getting out of breath and having to stop. Now I can do them all the way through.

So yeah. My trainer rocks (I love her so!) and she’s right. Where were you six weeks ago? Are you moving forward or standing still? That’s your yardstick.

Thanks so much for your wisdom, Marie. I love reading all the comments and ideas!

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Mylene

Lisa, you do have a great coach, she is so right, if we were comparing ourselves with what we were before we would be able to see how great we are and how much progress we did! Thats a lot more motivating!

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Sage

What a wonderful video!! Marie you never cease to make me feel so POSITIVE!

And I LOVE the adam ant dance at the end!!! YEAH!!

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Kimberly Houston

I think we’ve all been in this place!

A couple things I try to keep in mind — Thing #1: there really *is* always room at the top, because frankly, it takes a certain kind of person to do what it takes to get there, and not everyone is willing to do those things or work that hard. So the air is actually thinner closer to the bottom of “just starting to make it” land, or “just dreaming about doing something,” where *alot* of people reside.

Just the fact that you already have a gorgeous website Veronica, know what your unique talents and skills are, and are asking questions about how to improve your game is evidence you’re in the ranks of the successful and soon to be much more so. : )

Thing #2: Something I heard Ali Brown say once always sticks in my head in these situations: “When you are yourself, you have no competition.”

I think you’re off to a fantastic start Veronica, and if you take Marie’s advice about optimizing your website, you’ll be kicking butt and taking names in no time! Good luck to you!

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Veronika Lavey

Aw, thanks Kimberly! I am definitely taking all of Marie’s advice! I feel incredibly lucky that she has given me so much!
“When you are yourself, you have no competition.” – I love this! It’s so true, as everyone is as unique as can be.
Thank you very much for your comment!
Veronika

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Anna Long

I never tire of these videos, thank you Marie!

I also never tire of this subject. Always a great reminder :)

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Taryn

I am so amazed at the great advice given in these videos. I checked out Veronica’s site as you were evaluating it and I thought, what beautiful dolls you have! I don’t have children, and all my nephews are boys so not a store I would “fall into” normally.

What amazed me as I looked at the site, was that Marie’s suggestions were spot on. Now I would expect that from Marie (they always are) but I was stunned at how my mind plays on a website without realizing it. When I opened the site, I felt the page to be kind of “Empty” and I didn’t know what the site was about. It was only a subconscious thought until Marie began pointing it out, and then it occured to me. My potential customers are making these kinds of subconscious thoughts too!

What I would like to know, is if Veronica makes the changes, and when she does, does she begin to see a change in sales, visits, and inquiries? I think a “before and after” story would be so helpful as a case study.

Veronica I adore your work and wish you much success. I think your dolls have a truly unique perspective and tell a wonderful story!

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Taryn,

Thank you so much for for your kind comments! And also your insight!

I have recently figured out that it is a good thing to make mistakes, because you learn from them. All you lovely people pointing out bits that don’t quite work on my website is super helpful as I can get cracking on changing the layout a little bit!

Thank you for your input Taryn!
Veronika

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futuredoll

@Marie-once again a great video & Adam Ant clip-B school is definitely in my future. I love your message & tips. I especially love your outfits!

@Veronica-how about a quick introduction youtube video on who your company is, what you do, & how you do it. It can be short but, it will really help your audience connect with you & your dolls. Don’t worry about looking old/bad-I did & no one cared!

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Veronika Lavey

Great idea about YouTube. I will definitely have to store up some courage for that one, but I’ve made a note for sure!
Thank you very much for the idea!
Veronika

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Rena Hedeman

Thank you Marie! I have definitely felt not jealous but sometimes intimidated by the success of those I emulate and admire. As a matter of fact, YOU, Marie were a main topic of discussion when I wrote a blog post on this exact topic recently! (If you’re curious, you can read it at http://www.renahedeman.com/on-doing-and-being-enough). I ended the post by concluding that those we admire at the top have had their fair share of self-doubt, setbacks, frustrations and tears… they’ve gotten to where they are now because they’ve been willing to get back up on the horse more times than we have. All of us only get to where (and who) we want to be through sheer persistence – by getting up and trying again when we fall down, by not giving up despite how much it may hurt, by venturing outside our comfort zones no matter how uncomfortable or scary it may feel. It’s all about the journey – that’s what makes our success all the sweeter!

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Holli Thompson

Veronica,
Your dolls are gorgeous, and I’m not even a doll person:) Give us more, and share the love… There is plenty of room for you out there!!
Love to you,
Holli

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Veronika Lavey

Ah, Holli, you’re lovely! Thank you so much!!
Love to you too,
Veronika
ps: come on over to my facebook page facebook.com/VeronikaLaveyDesign as most of my action happens there at the moment :) x

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Johanna

Morning Marie + Veronica

Love this topic because I think you are right, we have all been there (um, jealousy!) I know when I was first starting out at as a health coach I got super fustrated that I wasn’t get as much traction as I had hoped. And because I know that I’m great at helping ambitious, smart women find their healthy, happy sweet spot and stay there. But there is a TON of other really interesting and fun women doing similar work.

When I moved from a place of being jealous of other health coaches to learning and watching them, things opened up for me. I was able to see more how my perspective and story is different from theirs. And there are people who are more connected with me than with someone else. So it’s essential that I remain positive about my place and realize that with hard work, perseverance and continual momentum, I’m slowly finding my way to the top.

There’s not necessarily a lot of original content going around, it’s our story that makes it unique. So watch the others to learn what they do, learn from them, connect with them and before you know it, someone will be looking at you at the top, trying to emulate you!

Until then, eat well be happy love life.
xo Johanna

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Johanna,

Fabulous recipes on your website! mmm…

Thank you very much for your comments! I believe in what you say that ‘hard work, perseverance and continual momentum’ is the key to move forward / upward.
Here’s to us in staying positive and loving what we do! :)

Veronika

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Coco

What a great topic! I think we may not admit it but many of us are afflicted by the green monster!

I especially loved your analysis of Veronica’s website. (great dolls BTW!). I am in the process of setting up a website myself and found your tips very helpful. I’ll be sure to incorporate them.

Thanks Marie!

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Veronika Lavey

Thank you Coco! :)
Veronika

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amhare

You are all the strong men and woman
Be safe Marie
Amhare

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Robin Hallett

HI Marie and Veronica –

Well, it’s so true that all of us experience jealousy.

Jealousy is a sign. The success we’re seeing in other people is something we’d like to have for ourselves.

In those successful peeps, we’re recognizing our own potential for success. Remembering that is the key to moving forward toward our dreams.

Hugs and love!

Robin

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Robin,

Thank you for your comment!
I am now certainly striving for achieving what I felt intimidated by when looking at very successful competitors in the past.

Hugs and love to you too!
Veronika

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Clare J Fitzgerald

Veronica – can I just say that I looove what you are doing girl.

Your dolls are truly one of a kind and I can see that they are made with love and care. The good news is that your customers will see that uniqueness and be drawn to what you do.

I think anything you can do to tell your customers the story of who you are, what inspires you to make these beautiful creations and how you hope your dolls will enrich the lives of the people who buy them, the more people will be drawn in to the magic of owning one (or two or three!).

Its obvious you are doing what lights you up – keep doing it and follow your passion. People will be drawn to that.

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Joanna DeVoe

Great dolls. Great advice. It’s so nice to see women supporting & encouraging other women like this. Way to spread the LOVE, Clare!

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Joanna,

Thank you!

It is amazing how much encouragement there is on this site! I’m soaking it aaaaaaaall up! :)

Veronika

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Clare,

Thank you ever so much for your kind and encouraging words!
I will definitely work on telling more of my story to potential customers.

Love,
Veronika

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Racheal Cook

One of my favorite mantra’s I learned from a dear friend (who is also in a similar niche as my own business) is “I want me some of that!”! It’s not about feeling that there isn’t enough to go around – it’s about standing in your own uniqueness and finding your sweetspot so that you can be shoulder to shoulder with your “competition”. I’ve found these people to be my greatest co-creators.

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Veronika Lavey

I love your advice Recheal! Thank you!
Veronika

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Heath Brockwell

Wow. I can’t think of a better way to start the day than with some Adam Ant “Goodie Two Shoes”. Thank you! Another thought on Veronica’s website is to get a blog sidebar going on the home page. That way, when people log onto her site they will see new content she has posted about the things she makes.

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Melissa Wright

Starting a new business it can definitely be challenging not to compare yourself to other people who have been doing what you want to do longer, and have had the opportunity to experience more success. I think often part of that is wishing that you had started sooner, or beating yourself up for not figuring out what you wanted to do faster.

I have realized recently that it is similar to when we were teenagers and we wanted so badly to be “grown up” and treated like an adult, free to do what we choose. And now that we are “grown up” we look back and realize that we should have spent more time enjoying those “carefree” years.

So I have decided that I am not going to allow myself to wish that I was somewhere in my business other than where I am right now. I am going to enjoy this stage to the fullest. I am going to appreciate all of the hope that I feel for my future success. I will revel in the fact that I KNOW that I am on the right path and on this path I will discover amazing things as I grow and expand. I will take pride in creating the foundation for my business and deciding how to mold and shape it. I will focus on doing what makes me happy.

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Veronika Lavey

Melissa, you are inspiring! Your third paragraph is a fabulous blue-print for any of us starting our new businesses.

Thank you so much for your input!

Veronika

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Stephanie

Marie it is so generous of you to give some website insights! It helps everyone who has a website! I just love when you do that. Thanks darling!

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Kate

Hi Marie, I watch your videos every week and love every single one of them! I can definitely relate to Veronica here but the universe is an abundant place with room for everyone. In fact I had a close look at some of the businesses that I look up to and it has inspired me to overcome a hurdle that I have been facing.

I really loved the message at the end of the vid about keeping on going and that the world needs me and my talent – that’s really given me a little boost today.

Thanks Marie!

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Sarah Mckenna

Thanks for a brill Video! I feel like this all the time and it can really get you down. Loved the website walk through, a few things there I need to upgrade but nice to know I’ve some if it right :)

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Danijela

Hello Marie,
I have to admit that I have just recently find out about your work but know I can’t stop watching your videos and learning. I do have have a lot to catch up on. ;) So, these past few weeks I’ve been taking notes, learning new stuff and working a lot, but I can already see some improvement. Thank you so much for sharing these inspiring videos and for helping us stay motivated! :)
As far as this video, I completely agree with you. I have a blog about coffee (and the competition is pretty good) but I am trying to find my own way to run my business. I surely hope that it will give a good result. As you said in one of your videos, these people are not our competitors, but our colleagues and I really support that idea.
Thanks for all your help! :)

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Mo

Hey, Veronika! First off, I love your work–wow! And second, I can totally relate to what you’re feeling, but Marie’s absolutely right; there’s always room at the top, and the less you focus on what other people are doing and the more you focus on what you’re doing, the faster you’ll get there.

I sell handmade dollhouse food, so your business is really close to home for me, and I totally agree with Marie’s awesome website suggestions. Another thing that came to mind when I was checking out your site is that it could be really exciting for you and your customers if you were to create a brand based on your own little world. Give the dolls names, and weave more story into the descriptions of each one that blends not only the cool process of how you made it but also a character or personality for each doll, just to give people more to connect to.

I do that with my foods, and people really respond well to it, and not only does it make my work more fun for me, it also sets me apart from the bazillion other people out there who are making tiny food. Good luck, Veronika! Your work is gorgeous, and I know you’ll find success!

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Mo!

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and for checking out my website! I really appreciate it!

I love your idea of making my descriptions easier to connect to. I shall work on that!

I love your website and your tiny perfect looking dolls’ food!

Veronika

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Anita Avalos

Hi Marie and Veronica,

Marie- Thanks again for another great video and I am so happy you are safe! We love you!

Veronica, I once heard that when you see something amazing in someone else, it means that that “amazingness” exists in and for you TOO! What is being reflected back to you is what is possible (and already happening) for you, girl!

As a health and body-food relationship coach for women, there are definitely other women who are sharing a similar message as me. But one, I respect these women for what they are contributing and two, I know that my tribe will find me as long as I keep sharing my message through my voice. And again…their success is simply a reflection of what is available for me too. :)

I even feel that for women outside of my direct industry. Take Marie for example. I have been following her work for almost 2 years now and seeing her evolution and all she is accomplishing excites me. I am not only happy for her but through her example, I am so stoked at all that is possible for all us.

Sending you lots of love and good vibes for success!
-Anita Avalos

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Anita,

I’ve just had a look at your website. What a fantastic journey you’ve had! Congratulations on achieving so much! You are inspiring!

I am taking away a lot of positivity from your comments. Thank you!
Veronika

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Franziska Birke

Great video Marie, full of encouragement and hands-on practical advice!

I am in the middle of building a new website and 100% agree with your take on the ABOUT page. Especially as a service provider working with people on a one-on-one basis, people want to know more about you and get a feel for you.
I read a really inspiring blog post this morning which speaks to excactly that: http://www.minestronesoul.com/twenty_things_i_probably_never_told_you

It’s so likeable and it makes me feel like I know this person forever. Working on mine now… : )

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Sujata Vadlamudy

Hi Veronica,
If it helps, remember that on a little girl’s bed, there is always room for an other doll or stuffed animal. Some days I feel I can’t even find my daughter’s bed. Great work. I love it.

Marie,
as always, you give great advice. I’ll be with you in spirit for the “after Sandy”.

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Sujata,

:) Your comment made me smile! How sweet! :)

Thank you!
Veronika

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Charlene

Loved today’s video (and Elsa’s incredible styling of Marie)! My favorite episodes are when Marie does a website/business analysis of one of her followers. So insightful. More please!
My suggestions for the beautiful Veronika:
Make it easier for other retailers to contact you so they can carry your dolls in their stores.
Include testimonials/stories from satisfied custom order clients (or stories of when/how/why they purchased an heirloom doll.
What if you give more ideas about when it is appropriate to commission an heirloom doll? Baby shower gifts come to mind…
I agree with Marie–give us more about YOU and how you got interested in this line of work.
A press page even if you don’t have any press yet that invites the press to contact you so they can feature you in their publications.
If you are not including a phone number on your site, how about a promise that you will respond to all inquiries within a certain time period?
I can feel it–you are going to be huge! I can already see you in Victoria Magazine, Where Women Create, and more.
P.S. I am ‘jealous’ of your huge success in getting featured on Marie TV! :-)

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Tara Dixon

Great ideas Charlene! So great to see you here. I love the women Marie attracts and the support given to each other. Thank you!

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Veronika Lavey

Ooh, Charlene, if you lived nearer to me I’d invite you out for a coffee to chat! :) Thank you so much for all you wonderfully helpful advice! I am taking note!!

I keep checking out the websites of all the lovely people that have left me a comment and I’ve been learning lots. I must say that your website is definitely UP there. What an amazing site you have created. That video on the opening page is fantastic! It had put a smile on my face and I didn’t want it to end :) (noted: check check)

Thank you for all the good vibes too :)
Veronika

ps: Those bonbons look delicious!!!!!

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Tina Archambault

Hi Marie,

I always enjoy your weekly videos.

Your dresses are always so pretty. Would you do us all a favor and let us know at the end of the videos who made the dress and where we can buy them?

Thank you,
Tina

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Jennie

Love your insights and Love today’s outfit!

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Rocco Distefano

Marie! I Heart your videos!

There is room for Everyone! If you are Smart, Saavy, Talented and Heart Centered, there will always be room for you and your product in whatever market you are in. The truth is that No One can do it exactly the way YOU can. As long as you are smart, saavy and talented, Your style and Soul will be able to reach people that others cannot.

I’m an intuitive counselor and had the same fears until I realized that no one does Rocco better than Me :) check out my own guidelines for business and coaching Rocco style!
At YourLifeIsAwesome.com
http://yourlifeisawesome.com/intuitive-counseling-do-you-have-what-it-takes/
There is room for Everybody! Even your competition :)

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Nathalie Lussier

As always, great advice here! I love how you brought it back to actionable things that be done on her site. Once you get the mindset stuff taken care of (there’s always room at the top), then it’s just a matter of taking action to make it happen!

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Desha Peacock

Love that you showed us Veronica’s page and gave her clear advice on how to make her site more user friendly. That’s valuable stuff! Thanks Marie!

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Veronika Lavey

I love it too Desha! :)

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Joe Breunig

Another great video; thanks for this gem!

Fortunately, jealousy has not been a concern for me; history has shown me that there is “plenty of room at the top” across many industries, including my realm of Christian poetry. If anything, my poetic peers are tired of me prodding them to follow my example and fullfill their writing dreams.

Too often, people are conditioned to expect failure when trying something new. In addition, for most of us, we don’t have someone in our personal network that is thriving in the area(s) we are seeking success. Being surrounded by people who lack knowledge, foresight, wisdom and vision for their own lives look to stiffle the dreams of others. So many people try to convince me that there is no market for my books, and much less, poetry.

I personally don’t feel the need to justify my existence; nor will I set aside the passion that I have for my brand/style of writing. Plenty of poetry lovers have provided positive reinforcement with regards to my efforts; and for now, it’s enough of an impetus.

-Joe Breunig
Reaching Towards His Unbounded Glory
A Journey Of… Poetic Purpose

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Stacey - Midwife for Your Life

Love this Q&A! I love your dolls, Veronica, and I’m so glad Marie was able to give you great actionable advice to get them out into the world in a much bigger way!

I also had my fair share of doubts and fears that I could never do what {insert person who is rocking in my field here} did because {insert reasons why it is so much harder for me}.

I’ve learned to look at those feelings with curiosity and compassion, like, “What can I learn from her success?” (You already gleaned a key component, which is that it took a *long time* for her to get where she is now.)

I learn what I can, but I think the most important thing is that I “stay in my own lane” and stay focused on taking action toward building my business every day.

Again, Marie gives you a ton of great advice, and I simply add:

1) Create a list of people who may be interested in your dolls. (This will be made easier after you start your own list with the “opt-in” Marie mentioned.)
2) Send email of introduction to 1-2 of the people, letting them know about your new business.
3) Keep connecting with useful information (ultimately you should have a weekly newsletter, but until then, you could just send an web-based article or other link you think the person might enjoy) — either via email, Facebook or Twitter.
4) When you have a special offer, let them know about it.
5) Do this every day.

Again, your dolls are wonderful and I know you’ll be a big success!!

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Stacey,

Thank you very much for taking the time to leave a comment. Your advice is much appreciated!

To tell you the truth I never even thought about the opt-in, because I’m not really sure what I could send a weekly newsletter about.. I will definitely insert one on the website to start building up a list, but I will have to think what valuable information I could provide on a weekly bases.

Again, thank you :)
Veronika

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Claudia

Great Video!

I used to get freaked out when I saw my ideas on someone else’s website. But … There really is enough room on the top. A little competition is a good thing, and I think it’s good to remember that when we come up with an idea someone else in the world will come up with the same idea at the same time.
So don’t sit on it, get moving ahead with your vision and get it out there, because if you don’t do it, someone else will. :)

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Veronika Lavey

Thanks Claudia! :)
You see, I’m quite a competitive person by nature… now that I have started a business I am learning to channel that competitiveness and use it to drive me forward!

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Aisha

I loved Maria advice, however, what if you are envious of a peer someone at the same level as you. Currently, in my office there is someone I believe that I am better than in terms of skills but recieves more recognition because she is socially better (better relationship with the boss) than I am. I don’t know how to deal with it and I have begun to act sullen as a result. The person in question is being groomed for management and it hurts, because, I think what is purpose of working as hard as I do if its not important . Any helpful tips on how to deal with this.

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Rebecca

Awesome tips, Marie. I love how straightforward and actionable you made this with the demonstration. And of course, your advice can be applied to any business, not just handmade dolls :)

P.S. I love that you coined a new phrase at 5:57. “Oh my gush.” I can definitely see that catching on :)

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Cathy Sykora

True, true! It all comes down to taking care of our own business. I have to agree…while I like to see others succeed, it is hard not to think…I wish I would have thought of that. The secret is, if we start taking care of ourselves instead of watching others…we might.

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Lucinda Cross

I always say authenticity has no competition. be the best you, that you can be.

Lucinda Cross

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Veronika Lavey

Very true Lucinda! :)
Thank you!
Veronika

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Emrie

I watch all your videos and I absolutely love them. You keep me motivated and moving forward on the thing that matter to me: my business, helping kids from impoverished areas get access to life-changing education, and most recently spreading that access to women and girl around the world. These are all only goals right now, but they are attainable with my hard work. Thank you for keeping me moving forward every day!
On another note- if you ever decide to do a “what to wear” episode, I would watch the Shit out of that episode. You always look sort of distractingly amazing as I sit in my computer seat with yesterday’s ponytail sagging down my back in my pjs. (I watch your shows when I wake up, in case that wasn’t clear) How do you do it??

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Desi

Marie, you rule. I love this. I could critique websites all day. With that said, even as a web developer even I sometimes miss some things. It’s a big reminder to step back and put on your user hat.

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Pat

Great advice, Marie. Now I’ll have Goodie Two Shoes stuck in my head all day! LOL!

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D'Arcy Benincosa

I love Veronica’s dolls! I’d actually love to find her website. One thing, as a photographer, that I know to be true: the photos on your page matter. Having that slidebar that Marie mentions is so key! Having photos that are perfectly lit and perfectly composed can make a regular doll (or product) jump off the page and bring in more and more traffic to your site. The great photos of Marie on her site are a huge testament to that fact.

After my lovely time at RHH Live, I love my website, but I know it needs a reboot and I’m putting that on my fun-filled TO DO List!

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Veronika Lavey

Hi D’Arcy,
Photography is so important! (you are clearly VERY talented at it, looking at your website!)
I’ve taken all my photos for veronikalaveydesign.com but once I generate enough revenue, I will invest in professional photography for sure.

Oohh, I wish I could have gone to RHH Live. I bet it was super fun! :)

Veronika

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arinuitty

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Lindsay Shack

I LOVED this MarieTV episode, thank you! You always seem to help at just the right moment. I loved your advice for Veronica. I have to say, the mindset part is the hardest part for me, but the simplest solution. It’s all about the mindset, in my opinion! Love that there’s room for everyone at the top. Just need to keep repeating that to myself.

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Prita

Hello Marie and Veronica! I loved todays’ episode.. I am a singer-songwriter and I know when I feel jealous – that ‘they’ are just doing what I want to be doing or being who I want to be etc – so I turn it around and use it as inspiration – I think jealousy is a good indicator of where you need to take action – for me anyway it works like that :) I wish you all the best with your website and media push! and I loved the website critique – for me that was really valuable info too! :) thanks again, Prita

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Veronika Lavey

Thank you Prita! :)

I love your voice! Jazzy sounds are always so enticing, I can never stop my feet tapping! :)

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Joanna DeVoe

Great video, Marie, as always… & you know? I genuinely do not feel jealous when I see someone else doing better than me. I get inspired! I’m the Queen of the Girl Crush . I’ve seen that quality attributed to men: as in men see a successful, fit or powerful man & want to be friends, whereas women see a successful, fit or powerful woman & want to take her down. That’s just nonsense!

I also happen to think Veronika’s dolls are lovely, and that she could get a leg up on the “competition” by incorporating video into her biz… tutorials or behind the scenes/work in progress. Who wouldn’t love to see the creative process behind their new doll?

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Veronika Lavey

Thank you Joanna,

Watch this space (I mean my space :) ) for videos! I think that was a great tip! Thank you!
Veronika

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Joanna DeVoe

AWESOME!

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Rowena List

Wow Marie I am so impressed by how generous you are with all your tips to Veronica and her site. That would have cost her hundreds of $ if she hired a web/marketing person.
I would add that an area of testimonials would be great as well. Some from kids and some from collectors.
There is always room at the top because we all relate to different personality styles. Why can’t we all play in the sandbox together? We can!

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Rowena,

A testimonial page is a great idea! Especially if I have lovely comments from both children and adults who own my dolls.

Thank you!
Veronika

ps: I’m totally loving Marie more than ever for being so generous with all her advice!

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Toni

Wow, she answered her own question and didn’t even realize it!

“I’m worried that if everyone is so caught up on one person, they won’t recognize anyone else.”

If YOU are so caught up on that person, you can’t even see YOURSELF! Why be one more person focusing on the competition? The more you focus on someone else, the less you focus on what you are doing.

I hope she finds the love inside to give herself the attention she is giving this other person.

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Joanna DeVoe

Profound. Great insight there, Toni :O)

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Jo

Another timely reminder from Marie. It’s so easy to get caught up in this type of crooked thinking. I know on occassion, I have done in the past and I know I still look and compare myself now and its just got be one of those things you get under control.

I always try to focus on being the best version of me and how I can make my business better so my clients can benefit.

Love Jxox

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Melissa Cassera

Great video + advice Marie!

Veronica, as soon as I heard your interest in getting featured in glossy magazines and other media portals I started to bubble with excitement. I eat PR for breakfast, so here’s a little advice from someone who has been around the block :-)

1. One of the first things I tell my clients is to identify their “media competitors” – these are people that are regularly featured in the media. This is a benefit for 3 reasons: 1) it gives you a shortcut when creating your own list of media outlets you want to be featured in and 2) if they’ve featured your competitor, you now know that they will feature stories in future issues and on TV that could incorporate your designs and 3) the media is always looking to discover the “next new thing” so you’re at an advantage at being the newbie :-)

2. When trying to get press for your business, the media is less interested in what you DO and more interested in what you KNOW. What kinds of tips, stories, techniques, etc can you share? For example, maybe you want to share 5 Ways to Turn a Creative Business into Cash for Entrepreneur Magazine or share Tips for Crafting Handmade Dolls to Martha Stewart Living.

Good luck and remember that the reason some businesses seem to hog the spotlight is simple…they put themselves out there and asked for it! You can do the same.

xoxo

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Marie Forleo

BRILLIANT #2 Tip Melissa. Love ya girl :)

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Melissa,

Thanks so much for taking the time in leaving me a comment and for your useful tips!!
#1 is reassuring.
#2 is inspiring!

:)

Love
Veronika

ps: I’ve had my first glossy magazine appearance today in a fab parenting magazine called Junior Magazine!! Whoop! (pic on my FB site ;) ) xx

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Daryle Dickens

Great to see the web site critic! Websites are so important for a lot of businesses these days that getting an outside opinion is super valuable.

And glad you brought up the importance of an image. People get so shy on the web but I like to see someone’s face before I give them money. Call me old fashioned.

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Veronika Lavey

Totally agree Daryle! I look for photos too. I think I will now move mine to my About page rather than leaving it on my Contact page though! :)
Veronika

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Barbara Foxworth

Yes, I think we all feel this at times. I have felt it many times and that’s when I have to remind myself that the only person I need to be in competition with is …ME! Am I farther along than I was last week, last month or last year? Yes! Yes! Yes!

Remember that those who are now at the front of the line, ALL started off at the back of the line! The only way to get to the front of the line is to STAY IN LINE and KEEP MOVING FORWARD! :-)

So glad I stayed till the end of the video, I absolutely LOVED the dancing!! It made me laugh out loud!! What a great way to start the day! Thank you, Marie! :-)

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Angela

Hi Marie
The first thing that came to my mind was ‘energy follows intention’. So I believe that if Veronica gets really clear what is her intention with making and selling the dolls (perhaps giving little boys and girls something really special that will warm their heart for many years to come – even in their elderly years), the jelousy issue may subside, probably still there but not as strong. Anything that comes from the heart has no competition, it’s simply unique and exists in abundance! Also, one of your old time favourite tips that may help is to stay in the present and focus on the good of the dolls. Similar to the above, what I focus on becomes my reality. So keep coming back to here and now.
Love the dance clip at the end, you and your team are so hilarious!
Thanks for the fun!

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Maria {La Signorina Chocolates}

I looooooooove watching your videos every Tuesday! So much good stuff! :-)

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kim jensen

Man.. do I know how she feels!

I have been watching you, Marie, for over a year now and I just don’t know if I should smack you or drink to your health! I mean, now you go to the Oprah show!… Dems fightin words!

All ‘kidding’ aside, I dig ya honey and I’m so glad you’re here to show a girl what to do.

I was really impressed with the time you took out just for Veronica, I mean, who does that?!
Awesome!

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Mina

GREAT timing!! I left my dream job 30 days ago to start my own business and my old boss isn’t just a boss but someone who I admire greatly and is huge in the industry. I have found days where I am high as a kite thinking of all I will be able to serve through my won voice and others where I wonder how I will ever be able to create something as amazing as he has.

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Sarah (Saturday Sequins)

Hey, Marie!

I’m a jewelry maker, and I work in an area called bead embroidery. So do lots and lots of other, insanely talented people.

One of them, in particular, intimidated me when I started out, because she’s like a Bead Rockstar. She’s even made pieces for Steven Tyler! Sometimes I wondered if there was room for me, or if I’d be like an itty bitty firefly next to the sun — totally insignificant.

What helped me was meeting her! She’s honestly the nicest, kindest, most encouraging and generous person there is, in addition to having a fantastic sense of humor. And she goes through the same insecurities and mountains of unfinished projects all artists do — she’s pretty upfront about it.

She was really encouraging of my work, and she helped reinforce the idea that it can be about collaboration, not competition, in the art world. It helps so much to see other artists as friends and to be each other’s biggest fans — because in the end, we really are all in this together.

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Rona

Marie, you are so awesome! I wish you were my sister.

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Liz

Loved this weeks topic…I have been feeling this big capital J when looking around at other as I work on What my buisness will be ! and i hate the “shitty”, non creative feeling being jealous, comparing and whining (Why Not ME?!) brings to me…Thanks Marie and all your readers..Comparison hangover be GONE. xxx

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Sandra

Just because someone else is offering the same or similar product that you have, doesn’t mean they are reaching all of their target market. Keep working at it, you have me intrigued.

Great video Marie! Now that song will be in my head all day…

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Joanna Wiebe

Thanks for sharing Veronica’s story, Marie! I’ve often found myself concerned that the success of another will overshadow or limit my own; even though I know that’s illogical given that, yes, there’s plenty of room at the top — and, on the web, an endless supply of people to connect with / sell to — in the battle between logic and emotion, logic regularly loses. :)

It’s easy to believe you’ll fail.

It’s hard to believe you’ll succeed.

Perhaps a lot of the jealousy I / we feel is more about that nagging voice in our minds saying, “See, you CAN’T do this!” than it is about the other person’s success.

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Stacey Olson @Co_Lead

Marie, that was SO cool to hear your practical advice about V’s website. In art school we used to do friendly critiques on Friday nights in our studios. It was awesome to hear what other’s would suggest knowing we all had each other’s back because we all wanted to see each other succeed.

The one thing about looking up to competition and comparing yourself to successful people in your field is that it confirms you have goals. But even better still, the path to success those people have gone through provides a blueprint for you to learn from and follow. But always remember that your journey and your product is unique so don’t wallow in comparison; if comparison keeps you from doing the actions necessary to keep elevating yourself, unhappiness is sure to follow.

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Mary Ann

You know how people have “lightbulb moments” … I think I just experienced a “head smacking” one. “There’s always room at the top.” Of course there is. Why didn’t I think of that?

Grateful for MarieTV.

PS — that is the cutest dress ever.

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Katie

Marie…love your dancing!
It’s so unique to you! :-)

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Cheryl

Your A to her Q was spot on. I am an avid web shopper, and everything you said needs to happen. Those dolls look amazing, and the easier you make them to buy, the more you will sell. I would totally hook my doll collector friends to your site.

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Veronika Lavey

Thank you Cheryl! :)
Veronika

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Iris

Veronica, I’ve been there! Or actually, I’m right there with you.

3 Tips I’d give to you and me:

#1 Only compare yourself to an older version of yourself
I’ve read this somewhere in the comments, where a lady said she compares herself to herself six weeks ago. I think that’s a perfect time frame!
It’s important to remember that we should only compare ourselves to ourselves and to no one else -not even our idols. This was a tricky one for me.

#2 Immerse yourself in some work
This one I got from another MarieTV episode. It’s okay to analyze and get to know your competition but at the end of the day, the only thing that will make you stand out is the work you do. So immerse yourself in CREATION. It helps you feel better about yourself plus it helps your business move forward.

#3 Implement Marie’s advice
That’s a no brainer :) I think her advice was spot on, especially the part about telling your story. People love to buy stories. That’s something I need to work on myself (don’t have a picture of myself anywhere on the site etc… classic mistakes)

As far as media coverage:
I study media & communication science in college and one thing I’ve learned so far is that magazines buy into emotion much more than they buy into facts. What does that mean? Share your story! They’ll be much more interested in that than in the details of your business as that’s what people love to read.
Also, if you want to appear in newspapers, just send them a request with your story and some interesting data about your business. Newspaper journalists are often very grateful if you hand them a good story. Just make sure to include what makes your business unique.
I suggest that you implement Marie’s advice first and then go after the media. That will make the whole process a lot easier.

I hope this was helpful!

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Veronika Lavey

Very helpful indeed, Iris! Thank you very much for all your advice! I love all your tips, especially #1.
Veronika

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Delaine

After a “bad” call with my business coach this AM and reworking my marketing calendar all day this video was exactly what I needed – thanks Marie!

PS – Don’t dis Adam Ant. I just saw him at a music festival and he rocked! :) HAHA

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Yvonne

Another juicy topic!! Loved this one as I know that I can often get bogged down with comparison crap. I really don’t like it when I start going there but I do…I know to say to myself though “Yvonne, when your jealous you aren’t being inspired. It’s taking you away from what matters.”
Then I pick my lil ass up and get about the business of being inspired and I always remember what my wise hubby says “Think of all the places to eat in the world…if only one restaurant existed the world would be kind of boring right?”. People like variety and there is always going to be competition but you get to decide to compete in a happy or miserable way.

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Johannes Starke | CFS Recovery Project

World class video, and wow, you look good!

When I’m worried about there not being room at the top, I listen to Steve Mitten’s wise words: “If there are people doing what you’re doing, that’s a good thing. It means people pay for what you have to offer.”

I also think of the pond parabel: Always swim in ponds in which there are no bigger fish, cause otherwise you’ll be eaten. For facebook networking that means helping people with your insights, and cold contacting them in groups which might be not the biggest ones in your, but in which there are now doll makers, but you. Once you feel too big for those small facebook niche communities, you’re ready to migrate to a bigger facebook community page, the bigger pond.

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Elise

Hey Veronica,

Thank you for having the courage to ask such a deep question that most wouldn’t want to admit.

I’d love to share my story with you!

I’ve had two instances where I’ve been jealous – of friends! They’re both in the same industry as me and when I hear that they’re both getting lots of work or more opportunities are popping up for them I feel this sting inside my gut and wonder “What about me? Am I not special enough too?”

How I got over it was by sending them love and thinking about how great it is that they’re getting lots of opportunities. Rather than putting negativity out there, I put positivity and crazily whenever I do that I always get something back i.e 2 weeks ago I had those feelings about a friend and then I sent love and the next day I was approached for an interview in the same industry!!

Love is a powerful thing girl!

Hope this helps!

Love,
Elise xo

Reply

Veronika Lavey

Hi Elise,

My herbalist offered the same advice! She also said that anytime I should feel any negativity swirl in, I should send some love out there (and to myself) and I will attract a lot more positive things. It definitely makes me feel better, that’s for sure! :)

Thank you for sharing your story with me!
Love
Veronika

Reply

Rachel

I love your videos, but I have to say I tune in about 60% for content, and 40% for your awesome outfits. Best dress yet!

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Dawn

Thank you for this video Marie! Sometimes I feel the same way as Veronica. Especially in the art field, when someone has success and repeat recognition, its difficult to feel like you can do it too. It just reinforces the “starving artist” mindset, at least for me, which is no good for anyone. I loved the feedback you gave on Veronica’s website. I love creating art, and love sharing my gift to the world, so this episode was really helpful to me.

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Sofia

Wonderful and timely, Marie. Honestly, you could never treat this topic too much in my book. One, we are made to feel shame about jealousy, envy and even resentment, and that’s a surefire way to drain ourselves. So much better to acknowledge these feeling and learn what they can teach us. Two, we live in a culture (at least in the United States) that pushes competition and promotes a scarcity mentality so those of us who strive to bring another kind of mindset to our entrepreneurship, well, it’s almost like constant spiritual warfare! Anything that can remind us that there’s another way to look at these issues and gives us practical ways to live these values is always welcomed! And the specific advice on Veronica’s website was just a bonus since it could be universally applied. My business is very different, but I took notes for sure!

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Alexis

This was so helpful! Using someone and their website AND actually showing examples of how to improve their site ~ really helped me out with my own Blog. I appreciate the information and as always…you’re hilarious out-takes and sassyness ROCKS!

Much love,
Alexis Whistler
{Mind. Body. Soul ~ Balance}

Reply

Lisa Danylchuk

Thanks, Marie! I am a psychotherapist and yoga teacher and am so often inspired by/jealous of YOU! Seriously, I really appreciate your work and your voice and you inspire me to share mine with confidence and clarity, so THANK YOU! Also, the website tips apply so clearly to my own site, so I’ll get on that. Already enrolled in B-School for 2013 so I look forward to learning more from you then:)

Lisa

Reply

Arsha

Hello It is always difficult to survive and recover after natural disasters. But it is important that we learn from these disasters.

Specially feel for the people like in Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine etc who have been put into worse condition then the people suffering because of Sandy Storm, by USA and its Allies.

Kind regards

Reply

Carly Poppalardo

AMAZE (as always :) Thanks Marie!

Reply

Jessica Angel

Oh my does it feel good to not be alone in this!

I have had this come up many times for me. I have tried a few times to get into some exciting craft fairs and I get looked over because my competition has been doing it longer and is more well known. It seems unfair but instead of getting all bent out of shape and having a huge pity party I look within my business to see what I can do better. How can I improve my customer service, my packaging, my website, my social media. It basically turns into a huge boost for my business.

I also decided to take B-School this summer and I will admit I am still getting through it but I’m doing it at my pace and it’s really been empowering for me. Thank you as always Marie!

My action step? During this video (I paused it of course) I added a photo of myself to my about page. :)

Reply

Kristin

You’re so not alone! And it’s awesome that you’re working through B-School at your own pace. Keep rocking!!

Kristin (Team Forleo)

Reply

Veronika Lavey

Marie, I hope you got my email. Thank you ever so much for answering my question today! I took note of everything you said and I am on it! I still can’t believe that my little business appeared in your video on your website! I honestly can’t thank you enough, not only for taking the time to analyse my website and offering awesome advice, but for connecting me with such amazing women!

You guys, I am so thankful to all of you, who have taken the time to comment and for all of your kind and encouraging words! It is fantastic to be apart of such a supporting community. Tell you what: I was glowing all day today from all the positivity I got from you all! So far I have re-read every single comment twice and taken lots of notes! I know I’ll be back over and over again.

You are all inspiring!

Many thanks and lots of love from gorgeous little Herefordshire in the UK :)
Veronika Lavey

Reply

Thea

You do such beautiful custom dolls (girl – you are so freakin’ talented!!). I hope you continue to showcase your work on more image-driven platforms – such as Tumblr, InstaGram – not just Pinterest and Facebook. (I did take a peak on those sites).

And please make sure you put a watermark/caption on ALL of these images – so that as they are spread, people know that you are the source – and they can go on your site to purchase it.

Best wishes on all that you are doing! :)

~Thea

(If she already does this — I couldn

Reply

Veronika Lavey

Thank you so much Thea! Lovely to have you on my Facebook page too!
x – Veronika :)

Reply

Thea

You’re welcomesssss! Glad to meet you too :)

~Thea

Reply

Kristin

Hooray, Veronika! Psyched that you loved the video & are getting so much love & support from this stellar community. Thank you for submitting your Q, as it’s definitely helped a lot of people. You rock :)

Kristin (Team Forleo)

Reply

Veronika Lavey

:) Thank you Kristin! We are all such a rocking bunch!! :)
Veronika x

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Aziza Browne

Another great video- I was furiously taking notes. I promised myself that after my busy holiday season I will begin upgrading my website! Thanks again Marie!

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Aziza Browne

Also, I just wanted to add to Veronika that as a creative person, I totally relate- especially as a person who is in business for myself with lots of other jewelry designers out there, it can feel totally intimidating to see others success. but if I were you I would use it as fuel for the fire- to see how far your competition has come is a great thing to see and imagine how much further you can go even beyond what you or anyone has imagined! :)

Reply

Veronika Lavey

Thank you Aziza! :)
Veronika

Reply

Jeanette

I was just thinking mid-video that I’d send you a note about Adam Ant’s song and there you are including him and that awful video in your video! I love love love him though and recently (early October) saw him perform in NYC (got to meet him too) and in Boston. He still has it and sang that song with his amazing voice. if you have the chance to see him perform in the Spring when he comes along again, please do. And yes, as always the message in your Q&A, as always, was fab-o. Thanks.

Reply

Jodi Whitby

I LOVE HIM MORE THAN YOU!! only kidding ;-)

Jodi

Reply

Natalie Edwards

My cousin Damali introduced me to your web shows and I am addicted. First I would like to say I’m glad you are doing okay after Sandy. I also live in the West Village and we got hit pretty hard. My prayers and donations go to the families that are in need right now. Second, when I saw you I automatically got drawn into your positive aura through my computer and I said to myself, “I like this girl”. Third, I love to dance and I see that you do too. I would go to Washington Square Park sometimes and get down to some Rihanna. Sure people pass by and think I’m crazy, but dancing is just a breath of fresh air to me. Finally, we share the same birthday. YUP, December 7, yaaaayyy! We are exactly one month away from our personal holiday, which I celebrate for the whole month of December, lol. I have a lot of questions to ask and a lot of comments to post, but for now, I just want to thank you for being YOU!!!!

Natalie Edwards

Reply

Bill Gelwick

Marie, I loved the detailed critique of the website. Very helpful stuff. As for there always being room at the top, think of it this way.

There were dozens of search engines when Google launched.
There were hundreds of professional basketball players when Jordan hit the NBA.
There were many systems of government in place when the US was founded.

Yeah, there’s always room at the top. And if all else fails, make a higher spot at the top for yourself.

Reply

Joanna DeVoe

Hi Bill… THANKS for posting this! Gave me a lil’ boost this morning.

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Kristin

Awesome point, Bill!

Reply

Veronika Lavey

Bill, I’ve I LOVE what you wrote! Thank you!! Watch this space! ;)
Veronika

Reply

Aziza Browne

Yeah! Great point Bill!

Reply

siggi

hoooka – massive value, grazie!
not to forget: being ‘on top’ is a mindset-thing, finally. what matters is to have people who appreciate your work on making them happy…

Reply

Beth Allen

I was just told about you. OMG I loved this video and others I watched. So insightful. I have been anxious about room for a DIY chick. I have big BIG goals!!!!!
Thank YOU
Beth

Reply

Jodi Whitby

Ohh I had such a crush on Adam Ant when I was younger – covered my bedroom walls in his posters *big sigh*…oh well, back to the real world.
Thanks Marie!
Jodi

Reply

Nicole Moore

Great topic today! When I feel jealous of someone or start to think someone is more far ahead of me I stop and take a breath and start to think of who I want to serve and how. Usually there is some point of differentiation that separates me and the person that I am comparing myself too and I realize that what I’m really craving is more of a connection with my tribe and the people that I want to serve.

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Rachel Strisik

Great video. Very helpful. I have always watched my competition and just recently was interviewed by a potential client that said she decided to go with my competition vs. me (even though she found me bc I was highly recommended by 2 people to her). Disappointing but also a teaching experience that I now have indirectly from my competition! What is the message in the fact she went with my competition. Was it because of my rates, what I said to try to “close her” as a client? I am not sure but I will learn from it.

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Rebecca

What I do whenever I start to get jealous or feelings of they have and I dont I think yes! thats what I’m having! I change the meaning around. I use other people’s success that I want as like a little taster of what is coming for me next. It helps me get into the vibration and chose what I want more.

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Bethanne Wanamaker

I’m grateful that others have paved the way in a sense and realize that had it not been for their tireless efforts, I may not have the lead I have. 1 person in particular has gotten my niche very well known and it was not easy, and there’s still more awareness to bring to it which is where I come in :) Also, we each have a different spin on things and I’ve been told that my voice & approach resonates with people whereas this other person’s doesn’t, and I have to remember that!

It’s intimidating for sure – to see their success & so many years ahead – but if they can do it, I can (we all can) if we stay committed to seeing our vision to fruition. There is room for everyone and the exceptional talent will rapidly move their way to the TOP!

Another fab episode… I look forward to them every week Marie!

Reply

Joanna DeVoe

That’s a lovely attitude to have, Bethanne!

Reply

Dayse

Great Video, marie!

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Dayse

Great Video Marie

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Dayse

Great Video Marie!!

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Corrina Gordon-Barnes

I went to a new hairdresser. He’d set up in Cambridge on a busy street, known for its many salons. I was curious as to why he’d set up here, when there were already so many hairdressers. His answer, “I set up here BECAUSE there are so many salons.” He’s been successful because he spotted an area that required multiple practitioners – such is the need.

So like Marie says, it’s wonderful news for you, Veronica, that the other doll maker is getting so much exposure!

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Veronika Lavey

Fab story about the hairdresser Corrina! Thanks SO MUCH for sharing!!
xx
Veronika

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The Get in Shape Girl

YOU ARE RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!!!!!! There are two fitness personalities that started right around the same time as me and they have been published in magazines, etc and sometimes I get so jealous of them!

I cannot let myself dwell on it because it was drive me nuts. I have to take a step back and remember, I am not in this to become a fitness model, but if I want to be published, I gotta ask for it!!! That is the only way to make anything happen.

Awesome video.

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Malori

Loved this video–as usual. It’s really easy to be intimidated by someone amazing in your field. That’s my issue more than jealousy normally. I see these incredible talents and feel there is no way to measure up! When I start feeling like that I find that it helps to walk away from the situation for a bit and clear my head. Obsessing over it is unhealthy and unproductive.

Can’t wait for the next Q&A Tuesday :)

Reply

Veronika Lavey

So true Malori!
I have temporarily shut down any channels that intimidate me and that may sabotage my future success so I can focus on what I want to do now and what I want to achieve. It’s amazing how much better I feel about what I do ! :)
Thanks for your comment!
Veronika

Reply

Cheval John

I believe that she needs to start a blog because it will help her to connect with her clients or prospective clients in a personal way. And I hate to say this, but according to a book that I read “Rework”, press releases are like spam because many news organizations receives hundreds of press releases everyday that has the next “big thing” and they have to go through it everyday. And in the case, your are not big enough yet for them for them to cover what you do. You have to build your business and your reputation slowly because everyone has done it and once your are to the point of a solid reputation, then they will take notice.
Also, blogging will allow you to build an audience because they will come on your own as long as the content is great.
Once that happens, then you will become successful.
Here is an example of someone who has her own public relations firm and does blogging to build her “brand.”
http://bennisinc.wordpress.com/.
Hope this helps.

Reply

Veronika Lavey

Hi Cheval,
Thank you for taking the time in commenting! Blogging is a great idea, but I have so much going on that I don’t think i could commit to that too. It is definitely something I will keep in mind for the future!
Many thanks again
Veronika

Reply

Laurel

GASP! Adam Ant is AMAZING.

I’m a teeny tiny barely even started up little solopreneur. It’s so easy to get envious when you see businesses that are successful in the same field. I’ve found, time and time again, that the problem is— I don’t want to do the WORK it takes to get there. What it means, I still haven’t chosen the right business. When you’re in the right biz, you LOVE the WORK!

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Mary

I feel jealous all the time! I see other people who are successful at what I’m trying to do — creating a profitable eBook writing/publishing business — and it makes me mad!

Tip for Veronica: I try to channel that anger and jealousy into action as much as possible, and I also learn from what those successful people are doing. I follow them, I read their blogs, I watch their videos, I use some of their marketing techniques and so forth. And then, I go back to the computer and keep creating the best possible products that I can. Luckily, there’s always room on the eBookshelf for more good fiction — hopefully mine! :-)

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Veronika Lavey

Thanks very much for the tip Mary! Love, Veronika

Reply

Ann

That was so nice of you Marie, to give her such specific guidance about her website. That is one of the many things about you that I like, you do not shy away from the details. You are the real deal!

Reply

Masood

Hi,

A good video as usual. I have just started a business of my own by becoming an insurance adviser of TATA -AIA. I need your assistance or tips to get good business by talking to people about insurance products. In other words I need tips to sell the policies. Kindly let me know through the e-mail address furnished by me.

Reply

Rebecca

Hi Marie I just want to say how much you inspire me, although also how jealous of you i feel and every other successful person. I thrive of being successful and hate it when i am not achieving something great. I’m only 22years old and have run my business for 3years now but my problem is I want to be big, big like Richard Branson but have no idea how to do this in my industry, I’m constantly searching for ways. I often watch things like undercover boss and think how do these people do it. for me its nothing to do with being big for the money for me it is the sense of accomplishment and achieving something My Question for you is How do you take something to the next level when you don’t know how?

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Heather Shafer

Thank You for this. I am so often inspired by what you do. You have such energy and wisdom and I love that you give actionable steps so often with a punch of humor.. love it and think you rock!

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Dr Cindy Brown

Great video as usual Marie! I love the wisdom you share and the advice you give with a lot of spice and fun! Makes learning enjoyable and I am all about that! I share these videos with some of the clients I work with that are struggling with there “stinkn thinkn” that gets in the way of them stepping into their purpose and successful business! Thank you, I will definitely share this one!

Also Congrats on being on Oprah, I always knew you’d get on that show! I can’t wait to see you do your thang girl! Hugs <3

Reply

Yasmine Khater

Marie,

You continue to amaze me by your helpful advice

Keep Rockin

Reply

Hillary Rubin

Hey V!

May be late in the game catching up of Marie TV. One thing you have that stands out is your STORY. Why you are doing what you are doing + what got you there. Your story is unique including all the steps you took as well as what you use as your inspiration. Hope this helps and wishing you all the best! B-school will give you so much to help you.

Lots of love, Hillary

Reply

Veronika Lavey

Oooh, never late Hillary! :) I keep checking if there are any more amazing tips from anyone on here! :)
You are so right too. After reading everyone’s comments and hearing Marie’s wonderful advice I totally get it now. What I do is different. Who I am is different. How I do it is different and oh yeah: there IS room at the top!! :) Thank you so much for taking the time to comment!!
Love, Veronika
ps: would love it if you joined me on Facebook ;) xx

Reply

Israel García

Hi Marie.

You just get a follower, I love your way of doing marketing.

I hope to learn a lot from you.
Congratulations on your work.

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Aradia G. of Aradia's Hand

Marie, As always, great info and I definitely see myself using some of it because I too have had that nasty monster of jealousy whisper in my ear in a broader sense about others in my industry.

Veronica, I don’t have much to add but I do love the aesthetics of your site. I agree with all the changes that Marie suggested as I think those can definitely up your game for carving your spot. Keep up the great work, I’ll definitely be adding you to my list of “awesome artists”!

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Veronika Lavey

Hi Aradia,
You’re so lovely! Thank you so much !:)
Love, Veronika

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Aradia G. of Aradia's Hand

Veronika (pardon my misspelling earlier!) I’m always happy to oblige! I know how much I love to hear compliments on my own work! I can’t wait to see what fun changes you have for your site!

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Veronika Lavey

Dear All,

I am super pleased to announce that after Marie’s fabulous and invaluable advice and after all your tips, we have launched the new and improved website for Veronika Lavey Design. I would love to hear what you think! Please have a look at http://www.veronikalaveydesign.com
Thank you!
Veronika

Reply

Aradia G. of Aradia's Hand

Love the new look, its gorgeous and clean and o so profesh! *wink* <3 to you & Marie!

Reply

Raaj Trambadia

Marie – it’s been great seeing your videos (though I’ve just landed up here!). Will be reading seeing more and the quality videos over the evening! Cheers!

Reply

Lynne July

I have a tip and since everyone is jealous from time to time, which is completely normal, it is a tip for everyone! ‘Turn your jealousy into ambition.’

Reply

Raquel

Your personality and spunk makes you relatable to girls like me. Your expertise and wisdom makes you a gem. I am so glad I clicked into your site and can’t wait to see what else is inshore in my journey of learning business with you :) Rock it girl!

Reply

Gabi

Hello, everyone! Love your videos and suggestions, Marie! I am from Brazil and opened with 2 more friends a space to work with holistic theraphy. Turns out that I found myself jealous, especially with one of my friends, who is way ahead in clients than me. It makes me feel insecure and afraid that I won´t be able to succeed like she is. What I am doing today to make this situation be gone, is just respecting each other´s path. Seeing her as one more therapist and that she´s there, like me, to help others. It´s not 100% solved, but I´m getting better. Would love to get more suggestions from you guys! Kisses!

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Liliana

Great content as always Marie. We will always find competition in our area or business, but most of jealousy or intimidation by other competitors, we can draw inspiration from the work of other people as well, because that will make us analyze our work and so that it can improve performance, and to go to the best to what we offer.

From the point of view of improvement, there are always better or worse than us, we take the good things of the best, and the things we do not want to the worst. It is a good exercise to offer something unique to our style and needs of our customers.

Reply

Koren Barwis

Great video and love that you picked an Adam Ant song!

Reply

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