As I sit here typing away, I’ve got my big green fuzzy socks on: a true sign that fall is finally here.
I’m not sure why autumn is such a busy season for events, but it is.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be speaking at three different conferences, then hosting our own sold out shindig, RHH Live, at Donna Karan’s gorgeous Urban Zen center the last week in October.
Most of us have heard the saying, “It’s not what you know, but who you know.”
While I don’t entirely agree with that statement, I wholeheartedly agree that strong relationships make a huge difference to the speed and satisfaction of your success.
And attending live events is a fantastic way to build your network and make connections.
The problem is, many of us can’t stand the idea of networking. It feels fake and contrived. And if you’re an introvert, fuggettaboutit.
Just thinking of spending countless hours on small talk in a loud and crowded room of strangers is enough to make you exhausted.
If you want a healthy reframe on networking plus eight tips to make it a whole lot easier, here you go.
Now these eight tips are just the tip of the iceberg. What I’d really love is your input on networking.
Take a moment and really think about where some of the best business connections in your life came from. Was it traditional “networking?” Was it some other unexpected route? Do you have do’s and don’ts for non fakey pants networking?
Leave a comment below and let me know. Remember, the more specific you can be, the better. Your experience and insight helps us all.
Thank you, as always, for reading, watching and contributing!
Love,
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I learned long ago that everyone’s (or almost everyone’s) favorite subject is … themselves! (a journalism school secret) I’m super shy, but I can ask people questions all day long about their lives, work, killer earrings, etc. The key, though, is to be genuinely interested, and not fakey pants.
Makes those awkward networking moments much more bearable. I firmly believe that every person has a great story to share – and I really enjoy hearing them – and that story most likely has little to do with a business and everything to do with an adventure involving that crazy night in the Bayou (or Harlem or Alaska or [fill in the blank]).
Yes Brenda everyone has a story and some are amazing. I just checkout your website, I love it your buttons are awesome and Phydeaux story is gorgeous.
Yeah, I agree. It’s sorta just being social and talking, it doesn’t need to always be about business. Have fun and be yourself.
Brenda, that’s my trick. I’m good at asking questions.
Brenda, thank you for this tip!
I already do this but didn’t realize that I was actually doing good networking! No wonder I have so many friends (HA!)
I’m going to now consciously do this and give as much as I can to a person when I’m networking.
Thank you
This is excellent, Marie.
I’m going to the Pro Blogger conference in Melbourne (Australia) in a couple of weeks. I diligently took notes during your video (such a geek!) but I think it will help.
Love your vids!
Hey Elly!
I wish I could make it to the Pro Blogger conference as well! I hear it will be amazing!
What you could do to get a head start is find people who are going online. It could be through a conference hashtag, or by searching the live twitter feed. That way, you already know who you are dying to meet and know some of their background. An amazing book to read on networking is Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. He will knock your socks off!!!
Hi Vicky,
Brilliant. So simple but I never thought of using Twitter to prep for an event. I am a total latecomer to Twitter and started getting way more use out of it during Marie’s RHH B-School this summer. Thank so much for mentioning this and for the book recommendation. Rockin’!
Hi Vicky,
Thanks for your hot tips!
Darren Rowse (Pro Blogger) is one step ahead of you, though – he started a Facebook group for all us attendees. We’ve been bantering over the past couple of months. Dinners for the night before the conference have been organised. He’s a smart cookie, that one, and I dare say that page will be helpful for chasing up people after the conference.
Agree with you Vicky–The book Never Eat Alone is a gem!
One of the suggestions he gives is to host dinner parties where you invite people from outside your immediate social circle, this gives you the opportunity to get to know people in your acquaintance circle better as well as the opportunity to meet any new people your guests may bring
Happy Networking Gals!
Loving the “smokin dress” Marie! Gorgeous color. Thanks for the speel about not committing because I do feel guilty, The long term v short term thank you I will remember that. I have been hesitant in the past but know I will go to the ones that truly excite me.
I’m with you Leslie I’m not into networking in a room full of strangers, it feels uncomfortable.
As a Beauty Therapist my job is to make people at ease, it’s about making them relax. So when I do meet and greet I just apply the same principles.
I ask lots of questions about them what do they do? do they love it? how long have they been doing it for? Ask some personal thing do they have children? where do they come from? what’s there hobbies? I find by asking question you can find a common ground it’s so much easier to talk when you have that. It also make them at ease because your not talking all about yourself and you are genuinely interested in them. 9 times out of 10 they usual reciprocate and ask similar question.
I just want to say thanks to this great bunch of people that Marie has created, I really enjoy reading your comments and I feel like I can say anything here without judgement x
True Suzie; Its a free world where people say anything without Judgement and feeling they are exposed.
This is brilliant, thanks.
Being present is the greatest love of all here. So important and loved the story about your yoga sensei.
Also the long burn relationship build – loves it.
My insight is this.
I have been a master networker in my time but recently I have been reviewing it.
I only go to events that I am absolutely 100% into and when I am 100% on form.
Recently there was 200 people at one event in Tokyo – a fabulous night run by a friend, but I was not on form.
Mt friend was like “Are you mad? 200 people and you are job hunting?”
And my response was quite genuinely
“I’m tired, I’m not feeling great and I’m a bit moody – I could go and have 200 people think I have no energy, don’t make them feel great and am moody or I could go home, get some rest, watch Bones with my hubby and take my to-do list down.”
I think this relates to the item about not going because you feel guilty about it.
One thing I’d like to know more about is: After a networking fopar, how do you recover? Or after many networking eff-ups, how do you recover?
I think it’s ok to make the occassional eff-up. Things are recoverable so long as you deliver and keep your head up and never give up.
What do you think?
Hey Sarah
I presume that your networking mess up happened with a particular individual.
When these sort of things go wrong we often feel so embarrassed by our blunder that we just want to run away and forget it ever happened, but every time we leave things open, we miss an opportunity to repair a relationship so that it is either neutralised or turned into a positive that serves us well in the future.
If you know the person with whom the faux pas happened (or if you got their details when you met) a quick and easy way to smooth the waters would be to give them a call or drop them an email just to let them know that you are sorry for the misunderstanding and that you hope that you both can remain on good terms in the future.
If you can’t get into contact with them, look out for them at events in the future and use that as an opportunity to mend the relationship with them.
Remember, we all make mistakes and sometimes we beat ourselves up for them for ages afterwards so that we re-live our stumbles again and again and again. If we make a decision to make amends with the person, we close off that loop and by doing so in a compassionate way, we can use the experience to work out a strategy that can be put in place the next time we feel ourselves moving quickly towards another faux pas.
When I attend networking events I generally don’t mention my business until asked. I like forming friendships which to me are more valuable than a business connections.
My most successful connections have come from personal introductions from individuals. The connection is more meaningful and the relationship is real. I generally tell friends and colleagues to only refer others to my business if they fully support what I do. The worse thing you need is a referral from a untrustworthy person.
Keep it genuine and like Marie says follow up on the spot if you said you will be doing something. That is a real keeper.
The follow up for me is probably the most challenging! It’s so easy to get caught up on the moment and agrees to something (like coffee, or sending a resource, etc.) but once you leave the event and real life starts to happen at its usual frantic pace, it can be hard to actually follow-through on those promises!
I’ve gotten a lot better over the years though. Not necessarily because I promise less but because I focus on really, really connecting with one to two people at every event. By the time the event is over, we are on our way to being friends – which makes it a lot easier to follow through on any promises made.
(I still hate the term “networking” though. Lol)
Hi Robyn,
I love it that you are more interested in forming friendships rather than business connections. Also that you tell your friends to only refer others to your biz if they fully support what you do. Sounds like a fab way to build a genuine following.
Thanks for the reminder,
Nige:-)
Nige, Thanks so much. It takes longer but at least the relationships formed are solid and reliable.
True Roby; unless asked to introduce what you. People will avoid you if you starting explaining to them about the business you do as part of the introduction.I prefer to mention my name and say I am a business owner or simply ‘I help people produce professional quality videos for home, internet and commercial purposes. Most of the clients I have never care about the name of my company even though they give me business.They trust me.
Marie,
Great video and well timed!
Networking should be a win-win for all involved, but some folks end up not receiving the full benefit because they fail to follow the unspoken rules. I’ve noticed some strange phenomenons that seem to occur ONLY at networking events. For some unknown reason, people who would have otherwise been great folks to meet -know – and learn more about seem to morph into strangely weird, wild things when they start networking.
Take for instance, the “Motor Mouth”. In real life, the Motor Mouth probably rarely talks unless they have to. They take the networking event as an opportunity to unleash themselves and talk incessantly. They talk about anything that crosses their minds, without stopping to even take a breath. How rude!
And then there are the “Wagon Painters”. These are people who can’t stop talking- about themselves. They like to paint their own wagons (and there is nothing wrong with that) but they paint their wagons in a blinding florescent color that loudly screams “LOOK AT HOW GREAT I THINK I AM”. Wagon painters amazingly find a way to monopolize any conversation and make it all about them. Big turnoff.
Next on the list are “Sonic the Hedgehogs”. With these networkers, it’s all about quantity vs. quality. The moment that they come into contact with a new person, and exchange their business card, their eyes are searching for their next prey. They are half focused on you and half focused on growing their stack of business cards. They mistakenly think that effective networking is a numbers game and that the more people they give their business card to, the better their chance of success. We all know that this is not the case.
Finally, there are the “Call You’s”. The only problem with them is they never call you. According to UrbanDictionary.com, the phrase, “I’ll call you” is literally translated as “I do not plan on calling you, ever”. As they rush towards the end the conversation at a networking event, somehow, we know that may never hear from them again.
I could go on and on about the horrendous mistakes that I’ve seen as I watch people attempt to network, have conversations, and connect at these events. In fact, if I keep it real and stop and think about it for a moment, I have been the offender many times!
I have been telling people ‘I ll call you’ something I have never done. THIS IS FUNNY BUT TRUE! You could have written on and on again. I love this.
LOL! Well said, Tiffany! and so true. I don’t network much yet and even with as little as I’ve done, I’ve met everyone of those people!
Rani, They showed at your networking event to? These guys get around! LOL
Best and most valuable tips for me today –
1. Go to events to make friends AND
2. Go out of your way to serve others and give give give.
I think that these particular tips are universal and they apply as much to me and my business as they do to attending events.
Thanks Marie for the reminder
I find that the best networking I’ve experienced and amazing people I’ve met is through genuine and sincere actions that come from me AND the other person as well.
I definitely also feel that going to events that excite me directly put me in a place to meet like-minded people, and we generally hit it off quickly, in a very short time!
Lovely and very useful tips, Marie! Thank you!
Jia Ni, I’m so thrilled to have met YOU through B-school and by reading your beautiful authentic blog! Soul sistahs!
Awesome as always Marie and hot dress!
Many assume that networking has to happen with people they don’t know already when in fact many are often neglecting a really important audience; A network they’ve spent months, years, or even a lifetime cultivating and nurturing.
I affectionately call this neglected network “F.R.A.N.K”
- F = Friends
- R = Relatives
- A = Acquaintances
- N = Neighbours /Colleagues
- K = Kids (depends on your business but a lot of kids from our past are actually adults now!)
Letting this network what you are up to can help keep you top of mind, open doors to their networks, and if nothing else, it can give you really interesting insights into your target market (if some of them fall into that category)!
Love that Ameena. Great tip! I’ve found that its pretty easy to reconnect wit old networks through facey, or other social online stuff… Build friendships is a great tip, I also I find its pretty easy to say hey to people who are in the same industry and start up a genuine conversation about your shared passion.. Thanks Marie, loving the dress too.. Sweet!
Ameena, That is so true. We often neglect the people we already have in our network. I think a gentle email or call to say what is happening is often needed from time to time. Invest in F.R.A.N.K
The Networking video was an exceptionally good one- packed with clear and valuable information~ Thank You so much! I plan to put these tips into practise. Solid. Love it.
As usual, your message is right on time in my life. I have recently joined a local business women’s networking group and it’s amazing. The amount of intelligent, hard working (mostly mums) running their own businesses impresses me beyond belief. Recently I met a lady who not only is great fun and definitely a new friend, she is inspiring, hard working and is more excited about furthering my work than I am (hmmm, clearly I have some work to do on myself). The first time at the group felt awkward and I just stuck around the couple of people who I already knew but now it’s great fun with added bonuses of sharing ideas and contacts. Thanks Marie! Jodi
Hey Marie, and company, I love Q&A Tuesdays; I always learn a lot. I’ve been called the world’s best networker by friends for decades now. Nothing fake about it; I actually love meeting new people.I do it honestly, often, and naturally. I am an artist, on the side of my day job. The goal is to one day (soon) become a fulltime artist. So no matter who I meet in business, I haul out my art card and say something like ” it’s my duty to inform you that you have been speaking with a real artist”. Here’s my card. They usually go ‘wow’, I didn’t know that. Then I say, may I add you to my newsletter list? I only put out notices about shows 2-3 times a year. Then, because I love to, I help anyone who asks me for help. Anytime. Anywhere. The universe repays me with new art clientele. Weird, but I’ll take it! So you may add yourselves to the list of people who I will help. I can help with: directions, cooking, art tips, creative habit advice, or how to get into and stay in advertising.
Hi Rea,
I love your line ” it’s my duty to inform you that you have been speaking with a real artist”. : )
Humour goes a long way, especially in networking. It brings a different energy to the room and people are genuinely grateful when someone lightens up the ‘serious business’ of networking. Plus they are sure to remember you.
Rea, I absolutely adore you, mama.
The Universe really knows what it’s doing…
I love that, Rea. You are my new mentor
I’m going to step through my fears and try a similar approach…great advice.
Great tips Marie! I’ve found that the more networking events I attend, the better I get. So my first tip would be to practice by going to a few events. My second tip would be to never judge someone you’re speaking with in the first few minutes. I can’t tell you how many times the first few minutes of a conversation seemed “off” and then turned into an amazing conversation. Always keep an open mind!
Great TV Marie!
I liked the idea of genuinely listening to what people have to say. You can learn so much more about someone when you take the time.
Give, Give, Give was a great one too.
Thanks Marie, Sonya
LOL Yes, your hair probably IS attracted to your boobs, Marie!
Hi everyone!
As an introvert, I can’t think of anything more exhausting than a “networking” event. And when I got home, I got 40 emails from people I had briefly talked to (and exchanged biz cards) badgering me (yes, badgering!) to make appointments with them for their services. It felt really icky to me (one even demeaned me after I politely declined her offer. Way to make an impression, eh?) and I just hated it.
I’ll be going to a mentoring group event in October and I am hoping it will be less of an energy drain. Keeping in mind I’m there for like-mindedness, friendship and good energy will help me remain on an even keel. Thanks for your insights this week!
Hi Lisa,
I can be both introverted and extroverted depending on the situation but mostly always networking is exhausting!
I attend a lot of networking events and have become depleted by the constant selling after one minute meetings. It does depend on the type of event and your approach to others, too as it sets expectations (as discussed).
And, I have also had some nasty responses from sales people after not needing their service. We can’t control how others act, but we can control our attitudes about it. Don’t sweat it, you don’t have to be them at the end of the day. Just be the amazing you that you are…you don’t need to attract everyone, just the right clients.
I love connecting with new people, and then connecting people to people. I have a large store of connections with parents of kids that I taught while I was teaching here in Bali, and they have helped, and continue to help, in numerous ways…they connect me with new people who I can help with BodyTalk or Franklin Method and I continually thank the Universe for the constant flow of energy. I am always grateful and generous and positive. Limitless is my only limit…i.e. no limits!
Barbara, I’m moving to Bali in January with my family. I’d love to meet up! Health and healing are my passions too!
This episode couldn’t have come at a better time as I am embarking on a new career and a health and weight loss coach. I know a lot of people need my services, and it can be especially awkward when I’m speaking to someone who obviously does, so I’ve had to really take the focus off myself when networking. I tend to worry that I will offend someone if I come off too passionate about what I do (which is hard NOT to do). I thought the tips were great and I will have many opportunities to practice over the next few weeks. In the past, I have met two of my bestest friends through networking. The best thing is they share my passion and support me in everything I do!
Marie your so funny. I loved how you did point four, lol.
The best networking and also the best friends I have made are from going to clubs or classes. I initially when to these things for personal development and improvement. But then I realised it that people there are kinda looking for the same sorts of things I want and then have made really cool friends too.
It’s actually kind of addictive. I started out committing to one club and now I’m active in 5 clubs
. Toastmasters, yoga, local running club, local defence spouses rec club, and the local entrepreneurs club, lol. It’s crazy.
Thanks again for being awesome and being so generous.
Love what you are saying Hazel, I totally agree. It’s two birds with one stone, enjoy what you love and making great friends and contacts along the way. : )
Hi Marie,
as usual 
Awesome tips
Could I suggest one more, really important one? After networking event step which actually is a part of the good and successful networking.
I suggest tip 9 – “Follow up”
After you meet someone interesting and you want to keep in touch with this person it’s good to send email or even better hand written card with something kind like ” I really enjoyed talking to you about your new book. I’d love to keep in touch.” or “It has been genuinely fascinating talking to you. I’ve learnt a lot about your business and I hope we can keep in touch”.
The networking events are all about making and keeping contacts that’s why I think we shouldn’t miss this step.
Wish you wonderful day
Hi Mary,
I have found the ‘follow up’ tip really useful and want to share a story with you that happened over the weekend. Let me explain; On Saturday, I met a lady who courageously disclosed that her daughter was murdered back in 1991. Initially, this lady had handed me her email address for me to sign her up for my weekly newsletter, but suddenly the goal posts had moved. Of course I still added her name to the list, but something deeper was stirring inside of me. I was so moved by her disclosure that I sent her an email thanking her for having the courage to share her story with me, and reminded her that if ever she needs a friend then she can count on me.
Nige:-)
I totally agree Mary. Following up and being proactive in building relationships is key. A little effort goes a long way and networking is not something to just check off your to-do list… ultimately I think networking is about knowing that you have value to share and that other people do too. When you reach out to say even something very simple like, It was nice to meet you, you have solidified a connection and begun what is hopefully a fruitful relationship. I use SendOutCards because it makes following up super simple and I can create a card online and hit send and the company prints and snail mails it for me–who doesn’t like getting mail?! Obviously a card isn’t necessary to set a coffee date but for bigger picture follow up works wonders.
Hi Jennifer,
this SendOutCard are awesome idea. Do they have international service or at least do they serve UK?
It’s one of my pet hates when you meet someone socially for the first time and the first question is, “So what do you do?”
Why should that matter?
Are you going to decide if I’m worthy of further questioning and conversation based upon this answer?!?!
And why should networking be any different just because it’s got a name?!?!
It’s still just 2 people having a conversation for the first time.
Thanks Marie!
Vari x
So what do you say instead? Because “What do you do?” is a HUGE pet peeve of mine, too. I usually ask “What brings you here?” or “What was your favorite part?” or “How do you spend your time?”
The trick is to prepare for the question before you get asked it – it’s called the 30 second elevator pitch and once you have that it can be used in all situations – social and business. You can even have a few of them for different circumstances.
take care & best wishes,
Alan
Hi Marie,
I found out, that the hardest thing for me to do is socialization and networking.
These days, I’m working on my social networking skills:
I’m joining facebook groups, sign up for social meetings and after following you here for month, I’m finely taking the first step of being involved in this forum.
I Love watching your videos, Thank u so much for what you are sharing and for your inspiration
Keep on what you’re doing, it’s great!!!
Hey Noya,
I want to acknowledge you for having the courage to walk through your fear and for getting involved in this forum. Whenever we choose to face our fears we reclaim our power. Bravo girl!
Love Nige:-)
Thank you Nige
))
Awesome topic, Marie! And GORGEOUS dress! *Blushing* I look forward to watching MarieTV episodes as much to get your wisdom nuggets as to check out your new outfits!
As for networking, yes, brilliant advice! But what we fail to do most of the cases is scheduling the time in our calendars AFTER the event to follow up.
I agree, we don’t need to stay in touch with everyone you spoke to. But you’ve got to make notes and follow up with people you want to keep in your life.
Otherwise, the days go by, we get caught in catching up where we left off before leaving for the event and two months later accidentally remember that we never sent those: “it was great meeting you” e-mails.
That’s when following up with those precious connections we’ve made feels fake and out of place.
Hi Marie,
thanks for this wonderful selection of tips – couldn’t have come in more timely! : )
Tip no. 8 has become my no. 1 over time: only going to events I like and where I feel a buzzing and inspiring energy. It’s where I tend to find more people I connect with and less “appointment sharks” .
It took me a while but I have started to let go of certain outcomes, like getting clients or leads for referral. I think it’s a trap one easily falls into, especially when starting up. Since then I feel much more relaxed, present and can offer my help as needed. I do however take sometime to collect myself and set intentions before I go to a networking event. I helps me to stay grounded and not to get caught up in the whirlwind of conversations.
I am interested to hear how people maintain networking relationships after the initial follow up?
Rock solid advice Marie!
– Especially the Give vs. Get. –
When look back at the times I’ve actually formed really long-lasting and valuable relationships with people at events, 100% of the time it’s been with people who are generous and genuinely GIVING.
Those kind of people naturally make me twist my creative muscles and come up with a bunch of ways that I can give back and help them out.
Nice to realize that and relax into the trust that it works like that the other way around as well.
When everyone gives there’s abundance for everyone!
Love,
Ronja
Love this! Sharing profusely and linking from my blog post Thursday. Especially helpful for me is a script for not committing to people with whom I’ve no willingness to engage further – something that comes up all the time, even when not officially in a networking setting. (As you said, Marie, networking is always and forever!) I also like the suggestion to attend events only that you really find interesting. This is works very well for me. I never feel like I’m “networking,” I truly enjoy my experience, and that’s attractive to others who want what I’m having.
Hello Marie!
Great video once again!
I love to network and I absolutely agree with all your tips. But, sometimes it’s hard to make a first step. Even though I am considering myself as not very shy person, I pretty much always wait for someone to say hello first. I know it’s bad! Maybe I’ll get better with time)
Regards,
Yelena
I always considered myself the world’s worst networker, so I didn’t try. Instead, I turned up to events and chatted to people I didn’t know, asked questions about their work, turned up again, forwarded stuff on to them if it was relevant, got to know people better and made valuable friendships. And now I suddenly have a big network of support and contacts I can call on… and I’ve realised that this big scary “networking” thing doesn’t involve “working the room” with a stack of business cards – it’s about being genuine, being yourself and getting to know people. Love the point about giving rather than getting – if you show up for other people, they’ll show up for you (and if they don’t then you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd!) Wish I’d known earlier that networking can come from a place of giving and authenticity, maybe I wouldn’t have been so scared of it!
Katherine I absolutely love what you said in your comment. I feel so exactly like you. Thank you for taking the time to comment on Marie’s hugely valuable video. It’s so important to me to be authentic and I love to help people so you’re view of networking being all about that makes my heart smile. I’m embarking on a new career as a life coach and your words have inspired me. Thank you to you and Marie!
Apparently you already knew/know what you were/are doing! The way you put this really outs it into perspective for me. Thanks so much!
Excellent video, as always Marie!
I would add that I’ve found it really helpful to arrive early. Get the lay of the land and ‘warm up’ and feel comfortable. It seems like everyone is so uncomfortable when they arrive at these things for the first 5 – 10 min so if you can greet someone and make them feel welcome you are off to a great start.
Also, don’t forget to bring your business cards and keep them in your pocket or a place that you don’t have to fumble to get to.
Follow up is super important. If someone strikes you as interesting, follow up with a coffee or lunch date and get to know them better.
Have fun at RHH Live, ladies!
Hi Marie
I love this video and yes, stunning dress!
So true that the best connections are formed from genuine connections and interest in real friendships.
I used to find that going to networking events felt very empty as they people I was meeting I wouldn’t actually WANT to hang out with…
So about 5 years ago, I just clean out stopped going to anything that didn’t feel like I was going to a party to make a ton of great new friends. (And that is why I am coming to RHH Live and why I don’t go to many other events.)
My hands down favorite part of RHH last year was the friendships and amazing heart connections… and my friends are always interested in what I do, and know it turns out I work with at least 90% of people I would class as genuine friends. (because these are the people I am here to serve and want to spend my time with.)
Ah, makes me smile just thinking about it all! Excited to hang out and get my groove on at your party and have a beautiful week amazing community here!
Hey Laura! So glad to hear that and I’m SO excited I get to see you again in a few weeks. xoxo
Hey people.
My name is Fernanda and I’m from Brazil. Networking is a really hard thing to do, sometimes (believe me: I’m using all my little English right now). But as long as we try to offer something, instead of just trying to recieve, it may be pretty rewarding. I love the tips and have used some of them instinctively, as I get to know people around me. There’s a song I heard when I was a teenager, whitch says “We only get what we give” (or something like that). This is something i try to remember everyday. I’m a nurse, or RN, as called in some countries, and i work with children with cerebral palsy. Maybe you cannot imagine, but some of my greatest lessons have been taught by this children. It actually didn’t turn out to be a professional networking, as we sometimes think about it, but this children have provided me the childishness i needed to become a writer. Now, in addition to been a nurse, i’m a happy mom of two gorgeous girls and a hopefull children’s author
Thanks for the tips =)
Your English is excellent! Beautiful site, too, I only wish I could read it
Well, Tony, i’ve once tried the google translator, to help a south african friend who wanted to read the things i write. It kinda worked.
Just let me know if something doesn’t make any sense, and i’ll try to help =)
Thanks for the kindness on my English. =D
Excellent tips! I do them all and can promise they work. When you’re focused on HELPING and GIVING to others, you stop being nervous and worried about what people are thinking about you! And, you do listen more because you’re listening for how you can help. (2) Trust the process. (3) Be authentic, patient and enjoy the process. Realize that other people there want to connect too. (4) If it’s an event where people are handing out business cards hand out a “quote” card…a business card sized card with a colorful photo and a favorite quote plus your name, email, phone #. NO business info. Let people wonder who you are and what you do. Moo.com lets you create 50 different quotes with 50 different photos or designs or “fortunes” or business tips, so you become a walking fortune cookie kind of networker. People will introduce themselves to you just to get the card! And, you have an automatic conversation starter too.
AWESOME Becky! Thanks for the Moo.com tip
Love them!
Love the insight you have mentioned.
Funny, just yesterday I was saying to a friend, “Well, it’s Fall, time to start going to networking events again.”
I love the advice to go to make friends, and only go to things that excite you. I actually never thought of that — only going to things that excite me. Duh. What I did in the past was look up all the networking events in my town for the month, pick out a couple, then dutifully write them in my calendar, thinking, “Hmm, better go to that one, and probably that one too.” Which made networking feel like a chore, rather than something fun to do where I could meet new and interesting people.
Michael Port, in his book “Book Yourself Solid,” shares a similar networking philosophy to Marie’s that really resonates with me: real networking is about sharing and connecting with others; it becomes much more natural-feeling when you put your focus on sincerely and freely giving and sharing. Instead of trying to see how many contacts you can find or get, see how many genuine connections you can make. When I do this, I actually really enjoy networking. It’s that word though — “networking.” Ugh. I like what Port says in his book, that we should think of it not as networking, but as “connecting.”
One of my best recent business connections came from meeting the head of the marketing department of a very large organization at a wine bar. She was there with some of the other women in her dept., and I was there with a friend who works at the same organization, but in a different dept. We all got to talking and marketing dept. head asked me what I did; I told her I have a small copywriting and content strategy biz, and she asked for my biz card. I didn’t have any on me at the time, but I told her I’d get in touch. I did, and we have a meeting this week to discuss me doing some freelance work for her dept. Yay!!
Now, if I’d met her in the usual networking setting, I likely would have felt intimidated talking to her once I found out who she was (she’s kind of a big deal in this town b/c of her high profile job), and the conversation if I did intro myself wouldn’t have felt nearly as natural and organic as it did at the wine bar. And so I may not have gotten the invitation to be in touch with her again. Lesson: always network at the wine bar, people tend to be waaaay more relaxed there, haha. ; )
But seriously folks, I think just putting yourself in those situations where networking or “connecting” feels more organic is the key, that way the pressure’s not on and you can relax and have real and meaningful interactions with folks. Now, if we could just get everyone else who goes to networking to watch Marie’s video this week and read all the comments, we’d be set!
My best networking comes from standing in line because I’ll talk to anyone whilst I’m bored, waiting. I’ll just start up a conversation with one person and before I know it there’s 3 or 4 people involved and we’re sharing names and numbers. I’ve actually gotten several clients this way. Maybe it’s time for Latte…hmmm!
I do this too! Seriously you are standing there doing nothing might as well meet the person next to you
I DO THAT TOO! I am what I like to call an introverted-extrovert. I just have to get past the initial introductions and I can talk for days. My hurdle is starting the conversation, and when standing in line I usually just mention the wait and instantly you have a repoire b/c they are going through the same issue. lol.
Or I genuinely compliment something they have on such as shoes. I am a total shoe wh*re. I always notice the shoes.
Here are my take-aways:
GIVING – I feel like I give and give and give. There was a time where I was so tired of giving because I felt like it wasn’t producing any result, but I was unaware of the reputation it was giving me which is incredibly valuable. I’m working on giving with absolutely NO expectations (even from “the universe” or “God” or “luck”… no expectations)
BE PRESENT – I feel like I’ve got this DOWN. I have trained myself over the years since I was a child (and especially ever since I first read Marie Forleo’s book) to give people my full, beautiful attention when they speak to me. Its good to know that this is a really useful skill.
THINK LONG TERM – I always thought you need to put all your cards and agenda right on the spot at these networking events. It is relaxing to know that you can be chill and still be successful. Set up genuine dialogues by asking questions.**
BE HONEST – I’ve been practicing this in life. Whenever a guy asks for my phone number and I’m un-interested, I don’t lie. I say “I’m sorry, but if you gave me your phone number, I probably will not be calling you. And I don’t feel comfortable giving my phone numbers to sudden strangers.” I’ll apply this technique everywhere.
TAKE ACTION IMMEDIATELY – I am going to apply this ALL OVER MY LIFE.
ONLY GO TO THINGS THAT EXCITE YOU – Yep.
The best business connections I’ve ever made were through friends and “stumbling upon” each other.
Awesome Udo!!!
Thank you for this Marie! I have found many friends through even just entering the RHH Live contest last year. In fact I met my best friend through that event last year:)
One tip to add, instead of being so excited to share your biz card at events, ask for theirs first!
It sounds nerdy, but don’t feel weird about bringing up your social media knowledge of a person or personality. I’ve been to several events where “I love to read and share your tweets” is a great ice breaker!
I like that Natalie!
Hey Marie!
One of my favorite clients comes from being a friend of someone that they know and admire on Facebook. I thought it was interesting that I can talk about myself and my business ad nauseum on my own page but yet I got business just by being friends with someone else.
Just getting out there and getting to know people, being present and a presence without necessarily even talking about what you do is definitely an unexpected but authentic and lovely way to bring people to you.
Basically I’m agreeing with one of the points you already made. You rock, my dear.
Yet again another awesome video. Thanks Marie. I would definitely class myself as one of those who hates the idea of networking. In fact I just got invited to a get together for ‘women in design’ in my area and I really am not looking forward to it. But I am going to psych myself up for it, apply your tips and just treat it as a way to make some new friends!
Awesome Vanessa! Good luck – you’ll be great
Love this video Marie! I’m an introvert so networking events used to feel like torture but it made a big difference when I started to go to the events that I was generally interested in as you mentioned in your video.
Being present and having an interesting card to share has been helpful for me. My business card has an interesting quote and is 2×2 instead of the standard and its been helpful in being a conversation starter.
At one event I put my cards in a little ‘pillow box’ (I think that is what they are called) and put a chocolate mint in with it. It was a smaller event so I had to make about 30. I had people seeking me out to get one because they wanted to see it
Once the the mint was out you could fold the box flat and to a few I mentioned they could recycle it as a gift card holder.
Great tips and well timed, I’m heading to a conference in 2 weeks. Going to put these tips to use.
My best tip is that after the person you just met walks way, write on their business card what you talked about. If I’m at a busy event I always forgot what I talked about with which person.
Nice. That’s always a good one Jennifer!
Hi Marie,
Thanks for another fab Q&A Tuesday.
Okay, here are my insights.
I always do my my best to always stay true to myself. Whenever I act in a way that is out of alignment with my values I tend to suffer. Sometimes I forget and mess up which can make things a bit uncomfortable but people tend to know when I am being a fakey pants because I tend to over-function.
For example; when I first started building my newsletter following it became more about how many people I could get on the list rather than about the person at the other end of the email address. I have since realised that every single person on that list matters.
My strongest connections seem to occur when I am truly connecting in a heartfelt way. In my opinion this is the best networking tool of all.
Love Nige:-)
Some of my best networking opportunities have happened in very odd places. A taxi ride with a group heading back to the same hotel, a conference I went to not for me, but to support my sister. What made them successful, is that I had no planned script, I wasn’t trying to impress. I was just being myself. The conversation was natural. But, I find that in order to have these kinds of conversations we have to be up on what is happening in the world around us. We have to be engaged in life, have a passion for our daily existence. When someone asks you what you do you want it to be more than just going to work, going home and going to sleep. Reading, travel, exploration gives you a story to tell and brioadens your experiences so you can relate to others from where they might be coming from. This is a fine line though, because you don’t want to come off being the person who knows it all, has done everything. You want to come from a place that celebrates other people and their experiences as well.
We also need to know the people we meet, we need to listen to the new people we are meeting so the next time we come in contact we can surprise them with our memory of who they are.
Hi Taryn, thanks for you comment and the point about the “fine line” and sounding like a know-it-all. I definitely need to manage that line. In the past 12 years I’ve lived on 4 continents and many times, when I meet new people, that can quickly take over the conversation and I feel like I’m talking too much about myself. I think I need an “elevator speech” to explain “where I”m from” and then transition quickly to learning about the other person. I’ve also thought about just saying I’m from my hometown, and leave it at that — but that doesn’t feel authentic as my life abroad has influenced me so much. I’m open to advice
This information is right on time. With two networking events this next week, I’ve been dreading how I would ever make it through. Great content, thank you!
Love all your stuff, can’t wait to do B school at some point, and jealous you get to do yoga with Rodney Yee!
Hi Marie,
Thank you for this video! Advice that feels right feels good in your body. This is definitely not about supporting the stressed, i-need-clients! kind of approach to networking.
Seems that the things that are most valuable, like great friendships and business connections, take time to build an reflect a genuine approach from you.
There’s no quickie fix, you have to show up and be vulnerable until you feel amazing doing it!
Thank you again for your weekly inspiration and for your genuine passion.
Emily
Hi Marie
Thanks for the video. Networking is often something I have struggled with because I too have felt fakey pants. I’ve never considered networking natural for me because I am in introvert and I’ve often struggled with the ‘elevator pitch’ too. There were times where I still couldn’t articulate what it is I do even though I do have 100% clarity – I just could never express it right and hence I wouldn’t get people’s attention for too long. But I do like how you say to give, give, give and I think the key is to really take the focus of you, don’t go in trying to sell and just go and be yourself. Don’t go in with the mindset that you need to convince people – just radiate!
Thank you for this video! Tuesday mornings when I get to my day job, I always watch MarieTV first.
I am very new to networking (though not to making great friends). Since I’ve only recently decided to turn my passion into my full time business, I haven’t been to many events. I am curious as to where people even find the events and places to network? Simple google searches? It seems that in the small town I live (in Utah currently) that most of my friends are well on their way on the “wife and baby” track. I have struggled to connect with them because we want such different things. And very few of them have the desires and ambitions that I have.
One of the bold decisions I have made is the decision to change cities. I need to move to a place where there are more like minded people for me to actually network with! And RHHL will be my first real networking event, and I know I’m already so fascinated with the women attending that I won’t have to fake being interested.
A question I thought of is what if I don’t have enough to “give” in terms of helping connect others to each other?
So, for me, the giving is going to have to start out with being present, listening, validating, and encouraging. I can’t wait!
Your presence is the BEST and most valuable thing you can give! It’s truly transformative!!
Great tips as always
While I’m not a shy person, I do consider myself an introvert, in that big social gatherings … I honestly find them exhausting more often than not. Because of that, I tend to not go to things that are blatantly labeled as “networking”events. Add to this the fact that they just feel so forced, it’s really not appealing.
I can’t remember who said it in the thread above, but I like the idea of doing networking on a somewhat smaller (read, more intimate) scale of a class or other group that isn’t directly about networking. I think I’ll probably make that & social media my focus for networking going forward. At least that way, I’ll do it
I recently met a somewhat idol of mine at an organised event that I am a small part of. I don’t know if I was intimidated, but I don’t think I came off as my ‘best’ me. I’m worried now that this first meet, will influence all other meetings in the future. The place where I work has arranged for this person to give two more events in the near future and I’m really anxious to hopefully work and be apart of this but I’m worried my first impression will have left a bad impression from their side. How can I hopefully improve for the next time we meet and get rid of any faky pants thing I might have had going on?!!! Thank you!!
I wouldn’t worry about it Liz. Next time, treat your “idol” as a peer and you’ll be great
Hey Marie
Im off to a conference/networking event soon as these were really timely. So thanks for the focused ideas.
Am i the only one that thinks name stickers on or near Boobs is a badddd idea, can make us guys feel like a pervert.. if you get my drift
lol Ladies stick them higher up.. 
You always make me laugh as well Marie. Adds to my tuesday.
cheers
I can understand where you’re coming from Steve!
As a full-figured woman with long hair, those stupid stickers always start peeling off (they don’t still well to the boobies!) and then my hair gets stuck to the back! I’ve been at an event walking around with my “My Name Is” sticker in my hair! Now I make my own name tag and attach it with either a pin or use a lanyard around my neck – I use the ones with the plastic sleeves that I’ve gotten at conferences. And, as an extra bonus, I can use my own branding on the name tag, too.
Hi Marie
I was so looking forward to seeing the big green fuzzy socks! ;((
Nicola
I needed to hear no 4, be long term about new relationships. Thanks so much
Just Marie
Two comments:
1) when I meet or network with new folks I go with my number one sense – my “neuroception” – which in plain english is my gut/visceral sense…..If I sense in my insides (not the “Oh this person would be great for my biz”) that the person and I will click, then I connect and engage.
2) your comment about ROdney I totally get as I am often bombarded with questions after class, and, for me it is a skill to actually be present with who I am talking to, yet also acknowledge with my body language the people who are trying to get my attention and may be saying a quick goodbye. Being higher brain mammals with super power in the realms of attention, we actually CAN stay engage with one person and acknowledge the passing gesture of another……from what I found, this teaches my students the ability to be engaged and yet still be resilient and fluid to take in outside information and not looked pissed off or stressed out…
xo, Irene.
oops, meant to write…..
Great Marie
(where the word “just” came from I have NO idea!) = )
Thank you Marie! The picture you painted of the networking event is exactly what I dread! I am an introvert and teach groups all day so the last thing I wanna do in my off time is be in groups of people. But those are some great tips to help me when I do get to an event
Recently a friend started a Facebook group called people who should meet each other, brilliant a whole bunch of new like minded folk all on one page I will be going to some of those events armed with your tips <3
I thought we’d see the socks, too.
I just learned that I have been networking and didn’t know it! Being active in my local Etsy group, being a fan of Pittsburgh Travelling Craft-o-tron machine, having a couple of repeat invitations to hip shows… Here I was feeling like I would never seek out networking opportunities, ha ha. Then I watched your video. Now it doesn’t seem so awful because that line has been blurred, you know? Between agonizing must-do and just hanging out with cool folk. Thank you thank you thank you! Love you and look forward to Marie TV every week!
xx
angela
Kind of love the “Craft-O-Tron” machine Angela!!
Oh lordy, here’s Tronny’s Fb page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Travelling-Pittsburgh-Craft-O-Tron-Machine/129391890440657?ref=ts
It’s an old cigarette vending machine rehabbed to vend $5 crafts! My friend Lynne is a genius, and she moves it around Pittsburgh monthly. CrazyAwesome!
love you Marie!
Great tips, Marie! Love the “staying present” one. (AND I love Rodney Yee!
Namaste.
xo
“Don’t make false fart sounds”… omigod. Laughing so hard. Funny girl!
Now that I’ve been going to events regularly for a few years, the networking part doesn’t freak me out anymore. I’m comfortable introducing myself to strangers and making friends. The part that really spoke to me was not to agree to stuff just because I’m having a good time and want to keep the energy going. It’s okay to hang out together and then see each other at the next event!
My biggest tip would be to give yourself permission to be outgoing and to introduce yourself to others.
Let’s face it, if you run an online business and do the majority of your work through the Internet… you probably don’t consider yourself to be the most outgoing person on the planet.
I hereby give you permission to be as outgoing as you want to be! No need to tell yourself stories about why you’re shy, or not good with people. You can be, it’s just a choice.
Nathalie – that speaks to me… that is exactly what I need…I need to give myself permission and stop the stories. Thank you
Hi Marie,
Tip #1 was SO what I have focused on recently so I had to pause this video and share.
I wanted to give because it feels good to put time and work into something outside of myself, to others. In this case, girls ages 8-12 via a non profit organization called Girls on the Run. I wanted to raise money for them and honestly was going to stay at the limit of $300 or $600 (daring), but then I realized a new after school program run by volunteers costs $2000 so that was my goal. Now, you know if I had that kind of abundance I would donate the full amount of 2k, but I don’t. That’s why I’m not going to give up until I get there by asking and asking and asking, even if its $1 at a time. Even if it means 100,000 No’s.
The power of giving is a great topic as well as a great tool. You may give $1 in one place and receive something bigger from another place.
Just in case anyone wants to donate $1
http://www.active.com/donate/gotrcsolemates2013/SGalian3
I loved this– I’m a born Connector, and these tips are all in line with how I operate. (Especially loved “Be Present”– I try to give each person my undivided attention and to really *see* people, which is surprisingly rare in a day and age where we’re all so protective of our personal space that our eyes just skim over each other most of the time; I noticed that some of the most compelling people I can think of are the ones who make you feel like the only person in the world when you’re talking to them.)
My addition to the list is “be honorable”. Only recommend people/services/books you really stand behind. Live up to your promises. Have a code of ethics and stick to it. Treat everyone well. Recently I did a little job-networking frenzy on FB and connected a friend who’d recently moved with a friend who lived in that area. The established friend said to the relocated friend, “The Diva Queen’s word is coin of the realm. Let’s talk.” That meant more to me than just about anything, and told me I was on the right path reputation-wise.
(I also agree with Ameena’s comment that everyone has an existing network with friends, relatives, former colleagues or classmates, etc. Make sure you know what they do, what they need, and what they like!)
I love meeting new people because I always meet such interesting, varied people. Rather than asking them what they do for a living, I like to find out what they do to live. What are they passionate about? That’s when you see their real beauty.
Up till now I’ve kept a mental Rolodex– someone says, “Oh, I wish I could find someone to…” and I’m already flipping through to think who I can recommend to them. (Another networking hint: it helps if you enjoy promoting your awesome friends’ work!) I just got a business card book (with space to keep pages and pages of business cards) and I’m planning to fill each slot with a few copies of business cards for any of my friends I’d recommend for something. That way I can just hand someone their card instead of just saying “there’s someone I need to introduce you to”, and I can write my own email and “tell me if it works out!” on the back before I give it to them.
Thanks Marie! My favorite take-away is to NOT do anything I don’t want to! My schedule is so, so full and my priority is truly keeping my agreements with myself about completing my creative-writing time, business management time, working with clients and teaching my classes, getting outside and exercising…and planning time with dear friends or contacts AFTER all this. Doesn’t mean I think face-to-face time is less important, it’s just that the rest is so super incredibly important to me that it goes to the top. I had a mentor once who said “if it’s not 100% yes…then it’s no”. I love this!
Love the tidbit about not over committing. I often feel like I have to do everything for everyone; I have a big problem with this in social media, actually, and notice my schedule opens wayyyy up when I unplug.
My fave networking strategy is to connect with interesting people and then schedule a one on one or small group time to get to know them a little bit more – causal over coffee, drinks or snacks seems to be great. There’s not time at those giant events to truly get to know anyone.
This strategy has led to some long time friendships AND more clients, plus great testimonials. It’s true that networking is really just about making genuine friends.
This is so timely as I have a conference in October. I struggle with remembering names of people I’ve just met, especially in a big group environment like conferences. I often will take a break or maybe just after the thing has ended and take feverish notes as to names, what they look like, how we connected. But if I can’t remember a name, the notes don’t me very far! Any advice out there?
Thanks for these tips Marie, I always look forward to Tuesdays. I am creating a new “lifestyle” biz based on the skills I honed for too many years in a corporate environment. I have learned so much from you and your guests (I’m loving Brandon Burchard’s “The Charge”) — you keep it real and fun and I want to do the same.
I have the same problem, Jill. I cannot remember names and it has nothing to do with not being present. I am totally engaged when I have a conversation with someone but a month later, sometimes a week later, I forget the names. I fear that this may come across as inauthentic and that’s not it at all. I try to use their names in the conversation to sink it into my brain but it doesn’t always work. I’d love to hear approaches to remembering names or approaches to dealing with that uncomfortable moment where you meet and have to admit you can’t remember someones name.
Marie – Love the video… my anxiety level goes through the roof when I am faced with networking situations but I know that to accomplish what I want to accomplish in this world, I have to step through that fear and get to the other side. The only other option is to stay inside my little box and quite frankly it’s starting to get a little stale and uncomfortable in there. Your video along with all these great posts stirs some excitement in me to go out and practice networking and view it from a different perspective…the potential for meeting new friends.
My professor use to say it’s about who knows what you know; making sure that the right people know you have the knowledge and know how to complete the task or job they need fulfilled.
In my industry (Technical Theatre) internships and overhire calls are a great way to meet new people who work for different companies all around the city and show them your skills. I loved these tips as I was missing a few steps in my networking I will be taking action immediately from now on to keep the connections with the people I meet.
(Another great networking opportunity in theatre, opening night parties!)
Thanks for the great tips Marie!
I agree about over-committing and need to really take that on. I often am so eager to help that I leave an event thinking, “OMG, what did I just agree to?!” And then, the stress of having to do that thing becomes greater than the stress of doing the thing, lol. Which is also a good reason to take action immediately. I hate adding things to my to-do list, so I’m definitely going to practice that.
Thanks!
Hiya Marie!
I too love connecting with people but also dread those official networking events, or mixers or happy hours. Ugh.
What I have realized about those events, is that it isn’t about how many biz cards you can collect. It truly is quality over quantity. So I have switched my approach to depth vs width. As in, when I meet people I try and go deeper with those people. Meaning, going back to the same events and talking with those same people. That’s where the relationship becomes more than just a conversation and potentially could go somewhere.
Love the dress color!
xo Johanna
hi MArie!
thanks a lot for this post!! I loved the hint number 4. Thinking long term is kind of hard when you first meet someone especially at an event where you don’t know absolutely anyone.
I’d love to know the name of the author mentioned in tip number 2 in this vid.
Thanks a lot!
Shinazy’s Networking Tips
1) NAME TAG,
– I bring my own with the info I want.
It becomes a great conversation starter
– Place NAME TAG on right, this is the side that moves closer when you extend your handshake
2) Actively LISTEN
– Then ASK a question that you really want to know the answer to
3) BROKER an INTRODUCTION
– You know someone that they should meet
– Calendar a follow-up email
4) Write on their business card something you LEARNED about them.
– You will use this in your follow-up email
5) TALK to the person who is standing ALONE
– They may be too shy to join ‘the crowd’ & will welcome you approaching them
I also attend events with another person. We split-up when we enter the room and circle back every now and then. Also, if I meet someone who should talk with my partner, I make that introduction. My partner does the same. And, we use each other as 2-minute breaks, to recharge.
Afterward, we do a debriefing and share what we learned.
Enjoy!
My best networking experiences come from doing things that I truly enjoy and get something out of. It often has nothing to do with traditional networking, dance class, nia, yoga. In fact one of my best buds and most helpful business gals I connected with because we would have a little 5 minute walk and talk after yoga class each week.
The other thing that I find works for me is when I create or attend a little group. I ran a little biz gals group for awhile and that was a great way to really give to people (something I enjoy doing) and I got something out of it too.
ox
Cecilia
Fabulous tips (especially with the name tag, haha) — thanks Marie! It is definitely true that as soon as I started attending events that I truly enjoy, it didn’t seem like networking anymore and I made genuine connections.
oh Marie, not sure how you know what I’m struggling with and manage to provide me with answers almost every time, but you do. Like magic.
Much thanks and love to you!
Marie,
I loved this commentary, today. My favorite was eloquently saying, ‘no’ to requests. My biggest source of income via networking has been a Mom’s Listserve that I am a part of. There are 2000 members and over the last two years, whenever someone has a request for a referral that I can help with (be it an architect, contractor, hair stylist, relocation specialist, organizer, aesthetician etc…) I send out a group-wide response. Mainly because I am SUPER-PROUD of Boulder and how gorgeous it is and having lived her for 21 years, am an expert on what is cool. Without trying, I get emails from women in the group saying that even though we’ve never met in person, they consider me THE PERSON TO GO to for real estate and all things Boulder. I get referrals from names I’ve seen in emails and people I have never met in person. Its amazing and has made up 90% of my business, this year.
LOVE hearing this Jennifer and thanks for contributing! Sharing from a place of passion and authenticity works like magic.
Marie!! I love this video! Excellent advice indeed! I am one of those people that really need to get out and network more and these tips are PERFECTO for helping me make those networking events more enjoyable and productive!
Keep up the Sassy lady!
Thanks Tara
I am SO grateful that I just attended two amazing events in the past week – Oneness of Us here in LA and Zsuzsa Novak’s Bliss Biz Breakthrough weekend – and both were huge “networking” successes because they were huge lessons in how HUMANS interact with other humans (rather than business card slinging robots).
It helps when everyone is there ready to play and connect, but I find that beautiful connections can be made even in the stodgiest of functions when I change up the conversation from:
“What do you do?” TO “What brings you joy in life?”
It opens up a WHOLE new level of conversation and often leads to connections where they’re not as obvious before!
P.S.
Marie, I won’t be there physically this time but I’ll be at RHH Live in spirit and hope you have an AMAZING time!
I have just recently found your site…. and must say I LOVE IT! I am 60, retired from my long career as a physical therapist and have moved on to much more exciting, more authentically, “me” more holistic stuff. I’m waiting for my newly self-published book to arrive, “Awaken Your Royalty with Hong-Sau Yoga” . Shortly before it was done, it occurred to me that there is this thing called MARKETING that would be my next logical step. I said, “OMG, no, not me Lord, I put my foot down. I hardly know how to use my computer much less all this social media stuff! I agreed to write this book but that’s it!! You are such a trickster!” When I became still, the answer came to me, ” Just keep doing what you love and think of yourself as a Messenger….not a Marketer… and if its okay I’ll help tune you up on a few computer skills.” How could I say no to that? Anyway, Marie, your fun-loving authentic centered site and advise is of great motivation and comfort. I might be a bit older than most of your beautiful networking friends but I’m just what I call one of those “late blooming flowers” and I’m ready to really shine and share with the world my energizing, fun yet powerful practice. thank you so much and keep up the great work. Aloha from Maui
Welcome Heidi! And huge congrats on your new chapter in life and your new book. You’ll be happy to know that we have incredible, loving souls here of all ages from young teens to folks well beyond 60
so you fit RIGHT in!! xoxo M
Thanks for keeping me in and on my game, Marie. I appreciate you very much. The networking info is very useful. Good balance in it al. Peace, Mel
The whole idea of being present is SO important in all aspects of my life. It’s impossible for the brain to hold more than one thought at a time, so why should I think it’s possible to hold a true conversation with more than one person at a time.
If I am training clients at the gym I either do not respond to the person interrupting me to ask a question while I am with a client. That is how I have always tried to be in my social life as well. (Unless it’s a good looking guy… jk!) When I get a moment I will find that person who was vying for my attention.
Thanks for the great advice! I really need to practice being a better listener.
Marie, I love the tips and often share them with my 20-something year old daughters! An idea – take your “script” hints (like today at 4:04) and package them as a product! This is NOT the first time, I’ve forwarded a video to a friend and said – see this video by Maria. She tells you exactly what to say at point x. Cheers!
Ha Ha – thank you Liz, both for your idea and for sharing the videos with people you love!
Hi Marie!
Thanks so much for the great suggestions for networking! Like you said, it’s ALL about building RELATIONSHIPS.
I agree that if you’re at a social event or a networking meeting, it’s vital to focus all your energy on the other person. Here’s what I do:
Ask,
1) “What do you do?” Or “What work are you most passionate about?” (The latter is a great question if you can intuit that the work they do is not their passion and purpose work — they deliver mail but they write children’s books “in their free time” or have some other “side hustle.”)
2) How did you get started in x?
3) What do you enjoy most about your work?
My favorite question is:
4) How can I help you? How would I recognize your ideal prospective client? What does your ideal client “look” like? What do they say? What problems do you solve for them?
Later,
1) Enter all personal info about them as soon as possible into Highrise (or some other Contact Management System) and…
2) Send a handwritten note simply expressing that you enjoyed meeting them and you will happily refer business when you meet their ideal prospective client.
3) Plan a date for follow up. This could be asking them for a cup of coffee or…
4) Share an article that you think would interest them (email or send via mail) or…
5) Make an introduction with one of your other contacts. Email something like, “Hello Jane! I thought you should meet Anne Brown. I remember you said you were interested in doing more public speaking and Anne works for the Chamber of Commerce and is often looking for speakers. I already wrote Anne an email and told her about you and I’m sure she’d like to hear from you. Cheers!”
6) Take one action related to building your relationships every day.
Here’s to building more great relationships!
My favorite way to network is to find a common interest with the person I’m speaking to. I usually ask where they’re from and/or comment them on what they’re wearing. That always opens up the dialogue naturally & genuinely. I always make it a point to NEVER ask what that person does for a living, because it can be rude and pushy. Besides, it usually comes up during the conversation.
Give, give, give… but only give your business card to those with whom you had a relevant connection. Card dealers only belong in Vegas!
Hey, Marie -
Let me just say you had me at your first video
And the color and style of your dress is beautiful and looks beautiful on you!
Thank you for the great video with reminders and new tips on networking. My favorite one was – don’t do things that don’t excite you. I have found myself going to events, meeting someone for coffee that felt more like an obligation. I didn’t enjoy the event and the coffee meeting was blah.
I shared your video on my FB wall because I know how important networking is…but doing it the right way is even more important.
Thanks again!
Sometimes after a networking event, especially I’ve connected connected with 2 or 3 people there, I might suggest coffee or drinks so I can learn about what others have been doing. It’s also nice to share my ideas or vision with some hopefully like minded souls and keep the momentum going. Sometimes you invite people who didn’t meet at the original event and you’re the wonderful catalyst that brought them together!
Hi Marie,
This was so timely and valuable, as usual!! Presently, I am unemployed, with no benefits (ekk!) and have been job hunting with very little return for over two months. Last week, I said to a friend, “I need to get out and network to rethink this whole job search.” So, thank you for these tips. I don’t despise “networking” but find it rather unfulfilling at times and don’t want to come off as desperate. Now, my question, which there is probably a video for, is “How do I talk about what I’m looking to do when I feel like I’m transitioning into another career (again!)?” I spent the years out of college as a fashion/beauty publicist. Then, took my passion for dance (dancing since a wee lady) into a career (and very expensive Master’s degree) as a dance educator/performing arts administrator. Now, I am finishing my yoga teaching certification to teach part-time but still looking for that full-time job in a creative and/or education field to pay down debt, etc. You see…I feel all over the place. When I’m networking, how do I explain what I “DO” vs. what I’d like to do since I am still sorting that out?
Thanks Marie! You and the online community rock!
Best,
Karyn
Hi Marie,
I loved this episode!
Talking more on a personal level than professional, I started doing serious networking last July, after reading your wonderful book “Make every man want you”, and have to say it is changing my life. I’ve been pushing myself a lot, putting a lot of effort in keeping in touch with people, but I have to say it’s working and I discover people DO want to be around me, which always gives a good confidence burst.
And I’m following the rule “never say no to any invitation”, no matter if it comes from men, women, mums with babies… you just don’t know which connections can bring.
thanks again Marie!
(btw… no, apparently so far not every man wants me. The important thing, though, is… I don’t need him!!!)
My best contacts came from volunteering for the YWCA and for political campaigns as well as traditional networking (back when it was called “informational interviewing”).
I am definitely more of an introvert so for ages I avoided opportunities to get out and meet people for fear of being a fakey pants and being around people that were.
Now the things I look most forward to each month are the times when I get to meet up with or talk to the women I have met in my mastermind or in heart centered networking groups. I go each month to genuinely connect and nurture friendships and honestly could care less about “business networking” – not so oddly, when that happened is when all the business connections authentically started to flow.
So to be specific my best business connections have come from a mastermind in which everyone was highly invested in as well as heart centered, small networking get togethers (high-tea’s)
Great tips Marie. Especially the advice on making friends at networking events. It can be tricky to come across as authentic in these types of situations but I agree that you have to look at as an opportunity to meet like minded people and give (as so many others agree).
In the blogging world I try to do everything I can to help promote and help other bloggers out and I try to come from a place of service with no strings attached and no expectations of wanting the same level of promotion. When you come from a place of service first and foremost everything else just falls beautifully into place!
Best advice I ever read on networking via LinkedIn was to ALWAYS connect to someone with a purpose and a personal message. Collecting connections is NOT networking. Once I started connecting with people this way I ended up landing 3 or 4 new clients straight away!
And funnily enough, at a recent conference I went to I met a few lovely women who were looking to start up new businesses….. as part of my networking I RAVED about YOU, Marie Forleo and then wrote this website down on the back of my business cards. Hooray!
I started networking by accident, and I was really glad to hear you say it’s all about give, give, give. That’s what I like to do, but I wasn’t sure if I was doing it right! I really enjoy helping other people, and do a lot of networking with other market stall holders at the moment. There’s no better feeling than knowing I can help out a new stallholder with something they’ve been floundering with, because I’ve already been there, done that. In return they are always sweet and will watch my stall when I need a loo break! And you never, ever know who they know, and where that relationship will take you!
Hi Marie – great video (once again)!
This week’s Q&A was perfect timing for me as I have a big networking event Thursday night and I was feeling a bit anxious about it. I appreciate your viewpoint that networking should be thought of as making new connections and new friendships – I think it’s a much more authentic way to look at it! Well thanks for your awesome tips.
Peace and love,
Erin
Love this video! The Hello stickers on the boobs-come on now-HILARIOUS!!!
The tips were STELLAR and very easy to understand/apply-thanks! I love that YOU totally understand and leverage the POWER of FUN in your business and life…and that you are teaching this to so many people! We have that mission in common! Thanks for the laugh, the learning, and for being yourself!
Best-Trisha
http://www.FunIsTheAnswer.com
B-School Alumni
I loved this!! Thank you for defining so eloquently how I feel about networking.
I have been invited to several local networking groups, but have always hesitated in attending because of the sleaze factor.
I don’t want to feel obligated to recommend folks who I don’t know, or I am not fond of their services, just so they will share my name.
It never even crossed my mind that RHH Live was a “networking event”, I had been thinking of it as a fantastic way to meet amazing women, of whom I hope to make friends with. If my business benefits from these friendships, that would be super, but I have no expectations beyond making some new, authentic relationships.
I am not bothered by people asking me what I do right off the bat, I understand that it is a comfortable ice breaker for many. I view all aspects of my life as of equal importance, so what I do comes with many “hats” and titles, beyond my business.
I am thrilled to have the opportunity to come to RHH Live, and try out all these great networking tips!! I am even excited about looking at traditional “networking” in a new light.
Thanks Marie!!
Fantastico stuff Marie. The Go Giver by Bob Burg is a great resource to help build this mindset more. I agree going to seminars is great for learning, but even better for networking with like minded, super star peeps!
Thank you so much for this video! These tips are the best I’ve ever heard on networking that are practical and feel like I can actually do!
I love the point that you mentioned about going to the things and meeting with the people that you actually WANT to meet, more so THRILLED to meet. I think that’s SO important because then you never have to feel like you’re suffering and wasting time.
Never include something in your life that you don’t like, it’ll only cost you.
Hey Marie!
As a work from home mommy, I don’t go out to network as much as I’d like. You will not believe it, but Twitter has been AMAZING. I have met SO many people that I have close relationships with – ON TWITTER. It just blows my mind! We’ve taken it from twitter, to email, to skype! Only thousands of miles separate us!
I want to encourage everyone who might read this comment, never underestimate the power of twitter. (omg. i should totally blog about this! *lightbulb moment* sorry) I know that you’ve heard that there is so much noise on twitter..blah blah blah, but really, if you are authentic, personal, and consistent, you will rock it. I know i have been and it’s paying off BIG TIME!
When I started my money coaching business, I was so struggling on networking. Due to my health reason, I can’t drive, therefore, I am not able to do networking in person. I do enjoy networking through Facebook and need to do more online networking.
I wish Marie would talk more about online networking in this TV. I will definitely try Vicky’s suggestion to network on Twitter.
This is an awesome topic for me! Thank you Marie!
Yu-Fen
Awesome advice as always Marie!
It was kind of freakish for me seeing ‘How To Be a Better Networker’ in my inbox as I’ve just created an e-course called ‘Better Networking’.
The good news is I concur with all of your tips, my personal take is there are only 3 ‘secrets’ to great networking – you got 2 of mine explicitly (i.e. exactly the same points) and one kind of implied in some of your other tips – so you pass
great stuff as always,
take care & best wishes,
Alan
Marie is awesome with what she says and how she says it….so very interesting to hear those priceless tips for networking.
I have found great success in Giving what I can without hurting my back and I am building a reputation there.
Thanks Marie!
” {paraphrase} Don’t commit to events or meetups that don’t excite you. “YES!! I wasted so so much energy going to events that I felt meh about and with groups that did not have much potential for connection, and then I felt like totally shit about my efforts, my work and a bit about myself when I got ZERO response. My best networking connections have been FRIENDS- people who know me, trust me and are confident to refer people to me. And I met them through events within my field, where I knew there were going to be a lot of other Acupuncturists + Herbalists such as myself. I get referrals from other medical providers but also other acupuncturists! I take a collaborative not competitive approach with my peers – sharing the love comes so much more easily: )
Thank you so much for this video:)
I always feel so pressured talk and say something mind blowingly amazing but it’s validating to know that listening will have just as big as an impact (phew).
This has been such a helpful video, since the last thing I ever want to come off as is a “fakey-pants” when I’m networking.
Thank you for this video, it is great.
This is SOOO excellent. Marie you are on POINT.
I saw this on facebook and just had to pop over and have a good nosey . I am very new to networking in fact I had never even heard of it before March of this year . I was happy in my social media world behind my laptop enjoying webinars and skype and then accidentally stumbled across a product line that changed everything. I realised more and more people could see me and that they were intrigued as to how I got out of my wheelchair , and how I had suddenly lost 5 stone in weight . The more they asked the more I felt uncomfortable with sharing my story. Of course eventually I met a lady who changed the way I was thinking – she pointed out that I should be comfortable being me and that if I wanted to be selfish the easy answer would be to go into hiding and make it clear that i did not want to talk about it but that would be selfish. The most off putting thing since I began networking is being approached to add more work to my list. I hold back on telling people about what I do and am now having to learn that speaking up when the opportunity comes my way is a must if I am to continue to grow my little business. Striking that happy balance of genuinely wanting to help others but not having a product to sell will make for an interesting journey for sure . Thanks so much for the video – Genuine and honest is the way to go no matter where you are coming from your heart is what will speak up the loudest if you just give yourself a chance to be you x
I agree wholeheartedly with the tips: go somewhere that excites you and go to make friends. After trying to network at “networking events” awkwardly, I abandoned it because it was truly not fun. I decided instead to strike up conversations with people I didn’t know at events I like to go to, like music and film festivals and gallery openings. The best thing I did was start joining professional organizations that tied into my passions. And the other tip I have is: the best networking is done by demonstrating what you love. When I bring my camera places and people see my happily snapping photos and grabbing video, someone ALWAYS asks me for a business card/contact info. This is a win, esp. when I follow up by sending the person a photo I took of them at the event.
The best connections seem to come when I’m socializing and – wouldn’t you know it – when I don’t have business cards on me!
House parties or dinner parties used to be places where I’d meet people who became worthwhile contacts and clients. When you are relaxed and not forcing anything, good things happen.
Some of my best contacts have come from doing trade shows and then following up with the leads. As well as traditional networking events. My goal is to not try and get as many biz cards as possible. My goal is like you say to connect. I really chat up the people who sit beside me and ask them loads of open ended questions. Follow up is the key.
Lordy, people have a lot to say about networking! LOVE this vid, Marie…you hit all the right notes, as always, and it’s so similar to the NINE MINDSETS OF NETWORKING I wrote about in my book, Seal the Deal! Here’s a link to read them, and you’ll see how aligned we are…you can download the pdf from this page: http://www.suzipomerantz.com/5-netconnecting-tips/ — Enjoy!
I’ve seen this tip mentioned several times already, but Twitter is one of the best ways to network before, during, and after an event. Whether it’s an actual networking event, conference, etc., many events tend to create a hashtag so that people can follow what’s happening at the event and connect with others. I’ve used hashtags to connect with people beforehand, and it’s been a great way to build a ready-made conversation when you finally meet face to face. I’ve also used hashtags to get feedback for ideas as well.
I view a networking conversation similar to learning about someone with whom I may become friends. We chat, get to know each other somewhat, see if our vibe & values align, and allow it to naturally unfold from there. Sometimes you realize there’s so much you have in common that the energy builds with excitement, and you recognize there are multiple ways to support and encourage each other. Genuine networking!
Thank you,
This epsiode is a real good deal for portions of my introverted self. It’s gonna help me break out of the mold and seek out people out who are willing to help.
These are great tips!
Wish I would have had the opportunity to watch this before the event I attended yesterday. Would have been a great help … but I will use the tips next time. Thank you so much!
Rhonda
That’s terrific!! And It is such useful tips, Maria!!! Thank u so much for these advice. Can you please also help me with my own situation? I actually feel less confident when I am in a conference with many talent and experienced people. Because I ‘ve just graduated. But they want to know and talk with the experts who stay at the same level with them, I think. I always feel there’s still tons of things to improve and that acidentally build a wall between me and people I met in those conference. But I don’t know how to overcome it. U know, knowledge and experience can’t be acquired in a short time…
WOW!
Thank you so much!
Love from Berlin
AC*
Hi Marie,
I love your site. Its diverse and fantastic!!
Problem: I look Aw-ful in Drag…
Do you know of any male oriented events similar to your RHH Live??
Thanks and keep it up..
Ya heard me?
One thing someone taught me at a seminar on networking events that has been very helpful is how to recognize which groups are open or closed to being joined. Wandering eyes aren’t the clue: as you point out, lots of rude people’s eyes wander! The clue is in the feet: If the feet are all pointing toward people in the group, the group is closed; if some feet are pointing outward, the group is open. This has made events much less wearing for me because I don’t have anxiety about which groups to approach.
Listening to step 6 (Be honest) made me think of an approach I can take to networking – make it social and approach it like dating. That’s what the quote – “I really appreciate the offer…and I don’t want to promise anything that’s not going to happen” – made me think.
Because wouldn’t our lives be far less frustrating if someone was straight up true with us?
Thanks, Marie, for your usual TWL (tactics with love).
K
I believe my best networking has come from introductions through friends or existing connections and mutual interests. Many times in the past I had “forced” myself to go to traditional networking events and when I arrived, I couldn’t wait to leave. My don’ts for fake networking is, lying and desperation. I have witnessed this myself many times when some people have come up to me at events and pretend to know my work or they give too many compliments which comes across as insincere and desperate.
Hi Marie,
Awesome video. I really liked all the tips you gave. My favorite one is not accepting invitations to meet after the networking event, if you’re not interested. This saves you a lot of time and energy. I always tell the readers of my networking blog to be themselves, build relationships like friendships, and to follow up on their promises. Great video and tips!
John