Marie Forleo introduction


I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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Do you ever feel things you wish you didn’t?

Yeah. Most of us have areas of our life we’re a wee bit embarrassed about (aside, of course, from hair growing in places it just has no business in!).

For example, do you ever get jealous of people in your industry who seem to be doing better than you?  It’s a crappy state to be in, for sure.

What’s worse, it can be hard to talk about and work through because you think you should be “beyond” all that by now.

If you’ve ever wished for an effective way to deal with jealousy, I’ve got you covered.

In this video, learn why jealousy is actually a GOOD thing (yup yup!) and three simple steps to take whenever the green envy monster comes knockin’ at your door.

In the comments below, tell me what your “happy messenger” is telling you.

This question makes sense once you watch the vid.

Of course, if you have strategies, stories or tips on this topic, please share your stuff.

I read every single blog comment and I’m super curious to hear about your experiences with this issue.

And your insights and experience might be just what someone else needs to see to have a big breakthrough too.


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  1. Hi Marie! 🙂

    This is a JUICY topic, indeed! I was actually just reading something else about jealousy as well – can’t remember where it was now – and was thinking about how it applies to me. I definitely feel that jealousy now and then, and love the idea of using it as a messenger to show me where I need to step up…

    My messenger often points out areas where I want to be successful – things like speaking in front of people, creating awesome digital products and programs, and writing juicy blog posts. I’ll see other people doing those things soooo well and think there’s no way I can do it that well, so why even bother trying?

    It’s time to turn that idea on it’s head, though. I’d much rather BLESS that person that I see doing the cool stuff, and be thankful for how they are modeling it, then move on to see how I can put that into action in my own life and business. 🙂 Besides, that thought that I can’t do it that well is just a damn lie from my inner critic, and I don’t listen to him anymore! 😉

    Thanks so much for the tips, Marie! You rock my world. 🙂

    • Jacqui

      Thankyou my wonderful Mentor, you have changed my life and for that i am ever so grateful. Lots of love and positive vibes all the way from Nelson New Zealand xxoo 🙂

  2. Amazing timing as always Marie! I needed a reminder! 🙂

    • Ditto on timing, viewing this 6-24-2014…It addressed my funk to date although I didn’t see it as jealousy so I am humbled now and must get to bizness, mine. Thank you Marie and sista life learners.

  3. Thank you SO much for posting this Marie! I really needed to hear this today. I’m so glad I found your Youtube channel and blog. You have an amazing voice and a relatable attitude. I hope you know that! Keep up the great work! Just subscribed to your channel. <3

  4. These are very good advices. Specially blessing and thanking the person you are jelous about. Not so easy though, ¿no?

  5. Sue

    Whoa, amazing reframe, Marie. Thank you so much. My happy messenger is telling me to keep on my chosen line of study. I see others in my industry rockin’ the online courses, writing the books, etc. I have never looked at jealousy this way before, always just beat myself up for just having the feeling! Crazy, I know. You are an inspirational woman. Keep rockin’ it.

  6. Ahhh. Loved this one, Marie! I have been in “comparison hangover” mode for about three days now – yikes! Talk about being unproductive! This video helped a ton and seriously just flipped the switch for me to get right out of that – so thank you!

    I don’t really ever feel “jealous” of people who are more successful than me, but more envious, I think. I don’t have negative feelings towards them – just really want to be at that level – so most of the time it pushes me forward. I love that you identified and named “comparison hangover” mode, though, cuz now I will know when I’m in it and what to do.

    You rock, sister!
    ~Edie Kay

  7. hi marie …
    whenever i experience jealousy, it signals to me that i am not living up to my own standard. it is the single most useful emotion i ever experience because it tells me to get off my lazy *ss and get to work.

    my philosophy is that whenever a girl turns her attention outward, she can’t see what she can be from the inside. when i’m busy doing my “thing”, i don’t have time to be jealous … so if i am jealous, it just means i need to “get busy” and tells me i can achieve more if i just “do it”.

    • “it signals to me that i am not living up to my own standard” I really like that and think it’s true. Thanks for bringing up this topic Marie!

  8. Thanks so much, Marie, for reframing the issue of envy! I so agree that envy doesn’t have to have a negative connotation.

    I’ve also learned to embrace envy—to pay attention to it as a strong signal from my deepest self. When we misread envy, it’s simply desire clouded by the belief that we can’t have what we want. But like you said, it can be a happy messenger and we really can have what we want.

    I’ve learned to see envy is a form of power. It’s a manifestation of our desire—of wanting something so much. Rather than feel discouraged about what you want, you really could get excited.

    Paulo Coehlo once said “A child can always teach an adult 3 things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.”

    I want to be like that kid. Thanks again for a great video lesson!

  9. Hey Marie,

    Fantastic. I especially loved how you reminded us to bless the success of others because when we don’t we’re training our subconscious that success is bad. Great advice!!

  10. Hi Marie-
    This is a great topic!! It is SO easy to get that “comparison hangover” AND to get so wrapped up in it that it sticks with you for sooo long. In an industry where there is competition AND a team-mentality (in business FOR yourself, not BY yourself)- that jealousy creeps up more often than we like to admit, but if you use it wisely, it’s a great motivator, too!


  11. I think this is a topic that most people try to ignore and deny- Especially me! I had a bout of comparison hangover last night- and my messenger is telling me how I want to have great photos like the bigger guys. I know I have to work at it and it just doesn’t come out of the sky, even though I’d like it to. Love your Q &A’s!

  12. Interesting video Marie – I love the concept of jealousy being a signal from the universe to stop and look at the very thing that is triggering jealousy. I’d love to hear more about that. I’d love some examples too!

    Thanks for your video!


  13. Great reframe! To expand on your first suggestion of blessing others, one thing I do is to rejoice in another’s success, as if it were my own! Right now the man who came to fix my A/C was telling me his business was so busy he was turning away customers. And while he didn’t seem that happy about it, I gushed on as he had said that I had won the lottery. xo from the jewel of the South.

  14. Also,
    Think of this person as a bridge-maker for you. The people that are further down the path are paving the way for US! The ego is great- is shows us where we want to grow 🙂

  15. Jealousy as an indicator light on the dashboard of my consciousness … I like it!

    I swear, there are times I get so green with jealousy that I could be my own St. Patrick’s Day parade. I don’t like the feeling. I’ve felt like it saps my energy. But now you’ve shown me that jealousy is a good tool.

    Thank you for the tip, Marie.

  16. Thank you S for sending in this q and thank you Marie for “a”-ing it so well!
    Perfect timing for me 🙂

  17. I really enjoy your fresh and down to earth approach for inspiration in getting my act together.

    I do feel jealousy about other designers. I look at their sales numbers and the dates when they opened their shops and scream, “Why am I so behind them, their sales are almost double to mine.” What am I doing wrong? I study their shops and Google them to find what those other shop owners are doing that are bringing in more sales to their shops.

    Right now, I am still searching for answers, still frustrated. I hate feeling envy or jealous of other shop owners success. I know negative feelings are about me feeling less than them, which is a severe deflating attitude.

    Also, I am reading blogs like yours to help me become more focused and doing some deep self-therapy to find out what and why am I holding myself back. I feel deeply that I am doing something that is holding me back, more success is there for me, just don’t see a clear path right now.

    Thanks for this blog and listening. Looking forward to more inspiration.

    Viola at Backbonestudio2 on Etsy (is it ok to give a shout out?)

  18. GO S!
    Now I’m afraid to leave a comment in case you think I’m S! hahahaha
    Actually, I loved this and I LOVE how you answered her- I find jealousy stems from a place inside that doesn’t trust that I COULD do as well as someone else ie when I know I CAN do it, I don’t feel jealous at all but rather INSPIRED by those who are ahead and ‘paving the way’- I feel blessed. They are lighting my path and I feel blissed and energetically glow with gratitude when I think of them! (like with YOU)
    Blessing what you want is called Bonat and its awesome!!!
    But I am quite jealous of dancers- what they can do with their body and those perrrrfect thighs….Sometimes I am jealous of women who didn’t have to grow up without a mom…but then I figure there are other gifts I’ve been given and the golden key is to make use of those 🙂

  19. Joe Smith

    Good advice.
    This is a vid that helped transform my way of thinking. It’s by mondo great photog, Zak Arias.
    I too had a habit of comparing myself to other shooters. After watching this, I stopped. I started being grateful for where I am now and celebrated that I had grown ‘x’ amount since starting. I’m a lot further along now than a year ago. I recently ran into a model I shot last year who told me that she’d like to work with me again, she enjoyed our first shoot so much. That told me that even then, I wasn’t as bad as I thought I was and now, I’ve grown that much more.
    We need to take Marie’s advice and turn it into a positive. This is why people grow and move up the ladder. Bless and help those you run into going up and one day, you’ll be in a position to help them out. They’ll remember you and thank you for it!!

  20. Such a great and timely post, thanks Marie! I always get curious about what makes me more vulnerable to the green monster’s grip and it’s usually when I’m tired, feel isolated from my friends and community and/or when I’ve not given myself time for stillness and play.

    I loved your three steps and will be gettin’ on it every time jealousy rears her lovely head.

  21. Great advice Marie, thanks for your inspiring guidance!

    This topic reminds me of something I heard once about intuition. You’re as intuitive as the most intuitive person that you know. The reason that you know it’s true, is because you sense a gap between yourself and them. If you weren’t intuitive, you wouldn’t realize there was a gap.

    Jealousy is the same way, you see the gap and it tells you right where you want to be. By becoming aware of it, appreciating it, you get closer to becoming the person you’re intended to be.

  22. Hi Marie, That was great advice. I once read somewhere a statement that basically said nothing kill’s creativity and inpiration like competition. So when I find myself drifting on to what someone else is up to, I put my energy back into what I want to create and almost instantly feel focused and way more energized!

  23. Great advice Marie, thanks for your inspiring guidance!

    This topic reminds me of something I heard once about intuition. You’re as intuitive as the most intuitive person that you know. The reason that you know it’s true, is because you sense a gap between yourself and them. If you weren’t intuitive, you wouldn’t realize there was a gap.

    Jealousy is the same way, you see the gap and it tells you right where you want to be. By becoming aware of it, appreciating it, you get closer to becoming the person you’re intended to be.

  24. Yes YES! Bless that which you want! Love it love it!

  25. Anita Driessen

    Perfect message! This was no accident that I found this video today.
    Booyah and thank you!

  26. I love this reframe on envy!

    Marie, I love watching your videos and subscribing to your newsletter even though I’m not running a business–yet! The advice you give every week is applicable to many areas of life and I feel lucky that I found your site.

  27. Leona Mizrahi

    Comparison Hangover + Take 2 and Call me in the Morning = Cured!

  28. Total agreement here. I’ve called jealousy “being triggered,” as I recognized that those feelings are triggers, soft spots, guiding me into something I recognize in myself. 100% of the time I’ve been right, and the opportunity for mutual recognition with the person I was initially triggered by has been a bonus outcome.
    much love.

  29. Love this, Marie. I get so jealous when I see people traveling the world and running completely virtual businesses with high end clients and digital downloadable products that make them money in their sleep while still getting their gifts out into the world. But then, I’m well on my way to creating this for myself!

  30. Jill

    Hi Marie,

    Great timing on that video! One thing I do when those feelings rear their pretty little heads – is ask myself, what can I learn from that person – what are they doing that is bringing them the level of success that I too want to achieve – always a great idea to understand those things and add them to your bag of tricks – also, reach out to that person, get to know them, add them to your “community”. Really important to surround yourself with people that are innovative, creative and successful. I have another question for you that riffs off of this one – what do you do when you have released your baby into the world and you are not getting the immediate feedback that you hoped for – when you feel like your panic button was just pushed and you want to hide under the covers cuz you feel like maybe you can’t play with the big boys?

  31. @Sukie I get that completely. The way I “appreciate” that jealousy is with the awareness that I can do the same thing. How many people don’t even realize that there is a business model which allows them to run their business virtually?

  32. Awesome video and message.

    I find that my messenger alerts me not just something specific I want but a way I’d like to feel. eg jealousy of someone with a hot new boyfriend, doesn’t necessarily mean that I want a new boyfriend, but perhaps just need to ensure that I keep the spark and freshness in my existing relationship.

  33. Christine

    Arrrrr….so true!! I’m a dancer and I was jealous of one other dancer who is absolutely amazing and has worked hard to be so. So I’m standing there green monster stirring in me and after you brought it out…it’s just that I need to go and do the work she did to be that wonderful.

    It’s ridiculous that I think I should just “have” the skill when I don’t practice as often. Thanks for reminding me and bringing me back down to earth!!!:)


  34. Jean

    This is the first time I have ever heard someone talk about jealousy in such a positive way. I have been recovering from a comparison hangover the last couple of days and was feeling like there was something terribly wrong with me but as you have put it, “it is pointing me to pursue that thing in my life.”

    Thanks for that beautiful reframe. It gives me something to take action on and helps me appreciate that jealousy isn’t just something I struggle with. To think I almost deleted your email without watching it.

    You made my day Marie.


  35. Thank you Marie
    Great advice. I have to admit that I sometimes do this. For me its more envious. I see someone doing so well in their business and I think. “now why is it taking so long for me to get to that level”? I now know the correct steps to take in order to change my mindset and make things happen.

  36. Marie, THANK YOU for this post! This is great stuff and excellent timing. I am a crafter and the summer craft show season is in full swing. Shows can lead to a lot of comparison and jealousy. It’s the worst when you are sitting there all day and not selling anything, and the person next to you is making sale after sale — and you just cannot figure out why. (Without speaking badly of others’ work, for me this seems to always involve crafters whose aesthetic is not something I personally am into.)

    I am starting to realize that what these crafters are doing right, is knowing their target market and their demographic. The solution is not for me to try to be more like them in terms of what I make (which I have tried before, and hated!), but to find the events that MY people go to. And to stop feeling like a failure because my stuff doesn’t sell at the fairs where others do well. Because, that successful crafter next to me at that one show would’ve done terribly at the goth club night where I made loads of $$. 🙂

  37. HA! Get out of my head woman!
    This hits home today and I’m glad someone could tell me what to do with this crappy feeling I’ve had. Now I know and I’ll go help out the other guy.

  38. You’re so wise! I love this video! Your step 1 is so great! We always have this choice of being a + or a – in the world and I think we forget about this! Thank you so much! You are such an inspiration!

  39. great question, “S” ! Thanks Marie for looking at this much ta-booed topic. Envy and jealousy often tell me exactly where I need to heal my past. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) works wonders along with meditations to boost optimism & courage. I feel better already.

  40. Miss Forleo, you simply rock. I guess all of us have felt this way at one point or another (and probably will in the future). It is how we choose to channel this feeling that could make a positive impact on our lives and careers or not. It’s a choice. A tough one, but still a choice. Thanks for your awesome videos. Keep it coming! and keep inspiring us! 🙂

  41. Amy Cloutier

    Thank you Marie – love it!

    Remember, comparison is the thief of joy! 🙂

  42. LOVE this, Marie! I wish I was immune from that Comparison Hangover, but now that I have a name for it, I can find the antidote, which is to squarely face what my jealousy is telling me about me. Can you say “Time to write in my journal and find out what’s up inside?”

    Thanks, S, for your wise question!

  43. Loved the video so much I watched it twice. Hmmm wonder what that says about touching a raw nerve. Thanks for sending the right message at the right time. Sending love…

  44. I love this topic. I think we are all privvy to jealously now and again.

    Thankfully, it was my father who said, “Stare jealousy in the face because it always provides a very deep message and usually gives you insights on where you want to go and what obstacles you are creating yourself that are holding you back.”

    I can’t tell you how many times I have had some crazy ass staring contests with jealousy! Thank you for reminding me what my father told me as a teenager and for giving me a couple of pointers to help me overcome the bumps along the way.


  45. Katerina

    This is how I try to do. There is also another way of dealing with it. Just send love from your heart to your jelousy and to the person you jelous with. You can do so with any feeling, thought, fear, situation, event, place, clothes, anything.. This calms you down and remove the negative feeling to it. In this case you are able to act according to your heart and are satisfied with whatever you or others do or whichever situation you are in. Imagine a bright light in you heart and send it to whatever or whoever you want. What is important that you have an intention of actually sending love from your heart without any other thoughts.
    Marie! That was a great video! I enjoy watching you and wish I could have such light inside and feel so free to speak like that. I admire how easily you manage to perform without being boring, teaching or advising too much. And plus its fun.
    Hope to see you one day and have a chat !!
    All the best.

  46. Erin Burch

    Right on, Girl! This is just what I needed to hear!
    Thanks for puttin’ the train back on the Track!

  47. Hi Marie,

    I LOVE Tuesday Q & A – they never disappoint! Thank-you for so generously sharing your hard earned wisdom. Today’s TQ&A is such fabulous guidance to refocus those jealous feelings into a powerful and positive internal message.

    I liked it all, the whole message and the three steps… What’s standing out for me especially are the last 2 steps. Using those “I wish I was like her/him” feelings to realize I probably actually DO want to be doing/wearing/
    having/being like that other person, which helps answer the question “What do I want?” And, the idea of staying in my own game, which is really all we’ve got.

    Looking forward to next week’s already. Thanks again.

  48. Michael in the UK

    Wow!…I could really identify myself in this video.
    All 3 areas you’ve mentioned. Not only does it distract you but it does give you that kinda hangover feeling you mentioned. Envious of others success because you yourself haven’t quite got to that level, when you should be cheering them on! However recently, I’ve discovered someone in the media and I am just so impressed with what they do and the fact that they can do that. Stand-up on stage in front of a crowd and be funny. I read that she has been learning her craft for a long time, that’s why she is so good. Where as, I am not making that kind of effort……duh!!! As for yourself marie I just love your style. Straight to the point because you talk about things that we are ignoring and need to address because that’s where we will find the answers. You ROCK girl, yr BRILLIANT!!!

  49. Luetta

    Thank you once again for taking something I beat myself up over and making it “okay” to feel and put to good use. You are awesome!

  50. Tom Lehner

    Hi Marie,
    long time no hear LOL. OK I did watch every video of you and have learned so much from you, but as my old grandpappy used to say – only speak when you have to say something – I loved this weeks video especially because I do believe it is alright and good to be a little jelous of competators. If we look at the competition and always think of us as so superior, we tend to become arrogant and believe we can not do anything wrong which keeps us from improving. but if we get “healthy jelous” that means (at least in my humble opinion) we always want to be better, see what the others do better and where we can improve to stay on top of it.

    my five cents of input. Love your video (though I am not always leaving my comments) and you are amazing

  51. Michelle

    Hello Marie,
    If I just keep listening to your insightful and on target advice,I may become
    a mature woman someday. To think I have spent 48 years of living, or rather
    trying to survive in this world to be learning the things I am learning now,I
    could only have regrets I didnt know things like this sooner. Thank you for
    making me aware of this. This is the “unblocking” I needed ! I have been
    soaking up negativity from being jealous ,envious for 7 long years in my
    business ,I see now why I have endured the problems I have had . In retrospect I tried to be “happy” for the other person who was my mentor, but my big
    old “green” heart was not in it. Time to move forward and become the person
    I am meant to be. Thank you for being you !!!!

  52. Interesting that you talked about the “comparison hangover.” Recently, I was told by an individual (that didn’t know me at all) that I constantly compare myself to something or someone and that I could never meet this comparison. This she said makes me very angry and that I had issues. Well after watching this vid, I can say strongly that my only issue is that I am striving to be more successful in my biz and to only compare to people I want to be like! Bring on the hangover and the jealousy! Thanks Marie, love the videos!

    • Alex

      Great point Tricia!

      I’ve learned that successful people have the same insecurities as the rest of us, they’re human. However as Marie said, they look at the accomplishments of others not as “That B****, no she didn’t!” but as “Damn, she’s rockin’ hard over there doing what she loves. I wonder if she can give me some pointers for my business?”

      Just this week-end I spoke with someone with 25 years more experience than me, yet we traded ideas and learned from one other. It’s the unsuccessful and miserable people who never share anything! And that’s fine with me, they can keep their stanky ideas to themselves.

  53. Marie…this was a fortuitous video for me today. I’m 64, and for the first (serious ) time in my life I feel jealousy. I’m thinking, is that even possilble-to have gone this long? Yes, I guess because I’ve had a fortunate, middle class life with parents who sent me to college, and I had two really rewarding careers: in business and then in education. So now that I’m retired from those, I am so ready for a new career, and that is producing and hosting DIY craft videos. I’m enjoying learning all the details and working with my husband who films and is doing the editing. But I feel jealous of those who already have theirs up and running AND know how to use all the social media. OOHH, I sound like a brat. Thank you for your upbeat videos, good for all ages. BTW…when I have some money, I’ll be coming to one of your seminars, if you let in older people! Jane

    • Jump in! The water is fine. I am close to you in age and having a blast learning all the new stuff. My gig is custom machine embroidery, so constantly looking for my community. Karen

  54. Great message, again Marie. We are hard-wired to compare – one of those evolutionary traits we picked up for survival. How we judge others is really a big fat mirror to what is going on subconsciously. 🙂

  55. Love the videos Marie!

    This concept can be used in most areas of life.

    I see it happening with my clients – they ‘diss’ happy couples, but wonder why Mr. Wonderful isn’t in their lives. Its in the message they’re telling the Universe. If you want love, be more love.

    Rock on!

  56. Marie! I am braving the comment field for the first time on here and I’m wondering what took me so long and why didn’t I “discover” you sooner?! Just within the past month or so that I’ve watched your videos (I think I’ve just about watched them all now) and read what you’ve written, you’ve been such an inspiration! Thank you so much for being you, being awesome, and sharing it with the world!

    Someone on the YouTube comments wrote that they wish Q&A Tuesday was everyday and I feel the same way! I love everything about your videos and your infectious personality. I even love that brick wall!

    I’m so glad S asked the question everyone wonders and experiences, but isn’t too keen on saying out loud. I usually do try to take the positivity out of situations like that and you just made it that much more clear.

  57. Hi, Marie!

    Another great vid. Entertaining as well as being full of real information.

    Comparison Hangover is a great name for what happens when you look at envy the wrong way.

    Another S

  58. Hi Marie, I hope it is true that you read every blog comment. 🙂 I have been following your emails for the past few weeks. I did not register for the course however I am interested in your approach as I am a marketer. I recently started a company that reviews marketing automation/ email marketing systems. I noticed that you use Infusionsoft. Glad to see you taking advantage of this type of software. I would really appreciate if you could post a brief review of your experience with the program (you or whomever uses it). Thanks for supporting female entrepreneurs!
    You can share your thoughts on Infusionsoft here:

  59. You´re sooooo right!!! It reminds me that I must be happy about my achievements, and if I´m not, I should give 100% effort to improve myself.

  60. Hi Marie,

    You’re spot on and I love how you explain how to deal with “jealousy” in an easier to swallow way. As women, I do believe that we all struggle with this in some way or another but it’s great when we can overwrite our negative mental files with positive ones like challenging ourselves to be better and set new standards for ourselves.

    Whenever I feel a twinge of jealousy I always remind myself that there is enough for everyone and my job is to make sure that I’m positioning myself to get it.

    Keep the great content coming!


  61. sui

    dear marie,

    you’re absolutely right! I had a hunch it was like that, but usually when confronted with jealousy I just used it as a way to notice areas of myself that needed growth, as in, insecurities– to alleviate and let go of my insecurities rather than doing even more and seeing that the “happy messenger” is telling me what I need to do! in that way, it’s like fear, and it’s like all negative emotions, really… signaling you to where you need to grow, what you need to work on, though there are so many different kinds of growth as well 🙂

  62. Yes, naming our soft spots out loud takes guts. Really enjoyed your suggestions Marie! When I think back on those jealous pangs, I realize I stopped myself from having or being present for my own adventure. That’s an affirmation that works as an antidote for me!

  63. Jealousy is definitely not the green eyed monster then! Socially, it is such a taboo to admit that you are jealous as the connotations are so negative. Interesting slant on this topic to perceive it as a positive thing.

    Do feelings of jealousy indicate insecurity? Hhhhhmmmmm….

    I find that if I am feeling jealous, I think about what positives I can see in the person, and slowly but surely, my thoughts begin to change. Takes some conscious practice though!

    Another insightful video, Marie. Thank you.

    – Razwana

  64. Melissa

    I JUST got jealous of someone today! I know it’s because it is pointing to how she is upping her game and I am not. Well, I just upped my game a bit. Thanks for the smack down Marie. Much appreciated.

  65. Love, Love Love!!!! Thanks for the reminder, Marie!

  66. I looooooooove this video! It’s so true. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt jealous of someone, intimidated yes, but I’m more often inspired by people who are doing the things I want to be doing! And they can be great people to connect with to help you grow as well. xo

  67. I loved this and will be sharing it with others! I stopped getting worked up over what other people are doing – and succeeding at – earlier this year and my life has never been better for doing so. We’re all different, at different points in our professional lives, with different goals and needs and customers. That said, I love your reframe and am now looking forward to embracing a little more jealousy in my life! Thanks, Marie!

  68. Thank you for this video.

    I’ve definitely been going through a stage of jealousy and even feelings of bitterness when looking at others success. The one thing that I connected it to was my own personal feelings of worthlessness. For some reason I had gotten it in my head that I’m not worthy of success. I began to notice the old recording beginning to play in my head when I observed others being in the place I want to be.

    On this path of being aware that there are these old recordings, I have been introduced to your amazing website! I see it as a step of moving forward and rewiring my old patterns. Thank you again for being presented into my life!

  69. A mighty big YES to what you shared, Marie – I do have bouts of the old green monster and I love that I can celebrate those bouts and see them as signposts instead. Thanking you for this insight.

  70. O MARIE!!! I just LOVE love LOVE this. I love Tuesdays more thanks to your Q and A videos.

    I’m into Ho’oponono in a big way right now, so I love you! I’m sorry! Thank you! Are my go to tools whenever I see/feel/hear a red flag thought/feeling…or a green one!

    Then we can’t be jealous any more because we just LOVE them too much!

    Maybe we have to GET OVER wanting to be someone else before we can get truly going with being our blessed beautiful SELVES?!

    I know that was true for me!

    Love ya, N

  71. Love this, Marie. The idea of the particular thing bothering us being that which (this sentence got too grammatical) we are holding back..on(?) is just right. SO perfect, and what a lovely, non-ego and totally pragmatic way to view things. Like, her hair is so beautiful, maybe I need vitamins! Really great, and brave of YOU to deal with this, poignantly at that. Thanks, Marie!

  72. Marie,
    Thanks for sharing your A, YES! I recently wrote about Mudita: the Sanskrit word for being happy for someone in their happiness/success, since there is not a fixed amount of happiness in the world, but enough for us to share. The article is here: It will become a MotherTongues T-shirt soon 🙂
    Love your videos! Thank you!

  73. Oh Marie Forleo,

    How did you get to be so wise? Truly, like what S said, you are the Life Genius BFF Sister Mentor that I never had! Your insight on jealousy is pitch perfect, and something I needed to hear. And I swear, every video you’ve put out had such a HUGE shift in my thinking. I’m SO regretting not joining the B-school when I had the chance.

    But I’m SUPER thankful for your Q and A’s. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For the love of mankind, please don’t stop doing what you do.


  74. Loved this video today Marie and your video style rocks! Cheers Pam

  75. Marie, I am so obsessed with your videos. You rock girl! I’m pretty jealous of you, so now I know what I need to work towards!!

  76. Marie, your videos are always so much fun and they’re informative – congratulations, and thank you!

    If anyone is having trouble ‘blessing the person on stage’ (or whatever flavour your jealousy is), you might want to try some EFT. That’s Emotional Freedom Techniques. It’s like emotional acupuncture – without the needles! I have demo videos on my site. It’s easy to do and it’s very effective.

  77. Amelia Sweet

    Dear Marie,
    You never cease to inspire with your unrelenting positivity and breezy insights into the human psyche and betterment of our existence. Crappy sentence, true message! I’m waiting for my copy of “the book” coming any moment now, and love being inspired with each tidbit that you so graciously offer up. I’m building my dream with the help of your inspirations, keep up the awesomeness, and thanks for putting good out into the world.

  78. Just discovered your site. Watched the message twice as it was hitting quite close to home. As you said: “the choice is ours.” Sending much love.

  79. I needed that message today! Feeling empowered by step #3. Thanks!!

  80. Nikki

    Thank you, so insightful and a way of looking at things in a positive light!

  81. brigitte weber

    Gratitude for the insight- i experience Jealousy by others/peers so i now see it at a blessing & say thankyou to the others as they are not supportive, not seeing the lesson & not grateful for what they do have, too busy using me as the distraction & not getting on with their own game!! gratitude to them for being my compass in my gratitude & i now no longer get upset or disappointed… moving on!!!! Aloha!Love Light & Spirit toyou Always xbrigittex

  82. Nozipo Cayou-Wobogo

    Hey Marie,
    I’ve been there as I’m sure most of us have at some point. However, I started taking this very approach. I may feel a little jealous for a minute, but then I start thinking of ways to focus on my own development. I also pay attention to the things that bring me joy so I can do more of them. If I start to feel better about me, then it’s easier to sincerely feel happy for, rather than jealous of, someone else’s progress. Thanks so much for posting this!


  83. Erin Diane Zaharopoulos

    Oh Ho Marie! Just watched a vimeo from one of my mastermind group’s new campaign, boy am I jealous, and isn’t it just a bitch kitty. She is so supportive and I have been ill, so can hardly blame anyone. Just envious. Your e-mail came right after hers and made it a MUCH better day, I could give her honest praise, and knew how much I still have to do. Took my deep breaths and with your JP’s mantra just said ” I’m back!”
    Just thanks. Love your intensity. Erin

  84. Robin Holland

    That was a very good one Marie!

    I find this is not just about jealousy, it’s about anything that doesn’t feel good, period. When I feel hurt or ignored or invisible now, it’s a sign that I’m not paying enough attention to my own self, my needs. Thanks for the reminder to be really listening to and paying attention to ourselves!

  85. Thank you for this video Marie. It’s soooo spot on! Now whenever I feel jealous, I just smile and be happy for the person and then just do what I need to do to attain my personal goals.

  86. Danny

    Marie, you’re the best and every time I see you’re videos I’m soooo inspired. I struggle with my heart everyday to the point where I’m completely holding myself back. It was exactly what I needed to hear because we were talking about that very thing today. I’m the only one in my own damn way and it’s soooo frustrating! I just want you to know 1 day my mind will be strong enough to move a mountain. I just have to tell myself first.

    Thanks 4 all the good stuff. You’re Gangsta! 😉

  87. What a brilliant way to turn the jealousy feeling from a negative to a positive! love love love that Marie. thank you

  88. YES!! loved what you said about “at any given moment, you can either positively or negatively contribute” good one to remember in times of challenge. Thanks Marie. Luv Ya! X

  89. Thank you for pointing out that bitching about someone else’s success is training my mind to view success in that area negatively, which is STUPID because that’s the success I want too! Somewhere inside I think, “why would I want to be the person who is being bitched about because I am successful?”, and then I do the obvious and avoid success. Duh. Self-fulfilling prophecy much? Thanks again!

  90. Lulwa

    Thank you for this lovely answer. You really touched my soul.

  91. LOVE it! I wrote a article and mentioned a bit on this topic too! Love how you gave everyone easy practical steps to move through the barrier quickly. Here is a quote from the article that I wrote and think might help anyone dealing with the icky green eyed monster 🙂

    Love Tip- when entrapped by mind games of the ego, the heart doesn’t beat to the vibration of Love. So make a conscious choice to choose love over fear. And, break through the traps of the ego!

    Another lesson I learned from Oprah, was when she said when she first broke into show biz, she never once compared herself to Phil Donahue, who was her industry friend. She said her boss set her free from the start by saying ” Be yourself” we are not trying to get Phills viewer’s. Oprah said ” that set me free to be myself and not compare myself to what he was doing” And it set a tone in her life to never look around to see what others were doing on their shows or (business) she just kept raising the bar higher for herself being the best Oprah she could be. And, we all see where that got her 🙂 So I encourage anyone reading this post BE YOU, don’t compare yourself to industry friends or try to keep up or copy them set yourself free. And get on Marie’s list asap! 🙂 Love you Marie Forleo, keep doing what you do best!

  92. Hi Marie,
    Never really thought about jealousy as a wake-up call before. Good one. More familiar with the comparison hangover than seething jealousy. Nasty feelings, both.
    When my daughter was little (only 13 now), I used to tell her that it wasn’t what another person can or cannot do, it’s about what she can do. Trying to re-focus her. I use that too.
    On another note, good lipstick shade for you; love orange. Have an effortlessly productive day (my favorite kind).

  93. Awesome message. Love your vids.

  94. i love love love this one, quite possibly my favorite… (how come i say this every week?!) i can totally relate. i call this feeling of jealousy “idea envy” and blogged about it myself: i totally want to be intimidated and want, in kind, to intimidate. and am so grateful you highlighted another reason why i welcome being in this “jealous” space. plus, love your new summery lipstick color!

  95. Great way to look at jealousy. It really is a message like you said… Love what you say about feeling jealous and having a comparison hangover. Instead of looking at what you don’t have, figure out how to get it 🙂

  96. Kerry

    LOVE this video. I was so happy when I learnt this for myself some time ago, I now see all the things in other people are a part of who I want to be….one being able to articulate all the knowledge I have like Miss Forleo does 😉

  97. Awesome video Marie! You really offered some inspiration in this. It is important to always remain on the positive flow even if it means supporting others for their accomplishments! This should feel good to do this. There shouldn’t be any competition out there because there is enough to go around for everyone and more. 🙂

    ~ Wendy

  98. Such awesome advice, Marie! So true ~ jealousy is just a reflection of what we want. It’s a pin-pointer. Thank you!

  99. Marie – You crack me up. Just got out of a 6 hour video shoot…your videos inspire me to raise the bar on my own. Give a high-five to your video editor. Great sound effects. QUESTION: As your visibility increases, how do you continue to give your “inner circle” or “original fans” the kind of attention they came to expect?

  100. Amen Amen Amen!!! LOVE this topic and it came of course and the exact right time!! I love the Comparison Hangover haha that is so true and funny!!!
    Thank you Marie for once again a kick a** video and amazing content!!!

  101. Marie! I am jealous of…you! Thank goodness I am loving RHH B School and using the tools you’ve created to help me get my own message out there (and get paid to do it). Thanks!

  102. Oh Marie,

    I have to also commend S for this Q. I love how u A ur Qs too;)lol. I agree that jealousy has many gifts and insights. I also think if we use suggestions such as yours to embrace our jealousy that it can bring us closer as a female community.

    In a dating course I taught last year, I stressed the importance of female community and embracing ur jealousy to grow closer. We use a tool to spread fantastic juicy praise about the women around us. Magically this one tool alone can instantly reframe ur jealousy and create space for more of what u want to come to u.

    Thank u for this video. Tootles ur Hotness!

  103. Thank you so much for this, Marie! I work in a super competitive industry and see my friends and acquaintances getting the kinds of jobs i would love to have on a daily basis. Checking my Facebook newsfeed became impossible for a while because it seemed like everyone was doing all of these amazing things and my own accomplishments were lame in comparison. Some days it would literally throw me into this lame depression. So yeah, I know the comparison hangover all too well, and I definitely let it get in my way for way too long.

    I killed that once I realized that I didn’t actually want exactly what they had. I might have wished I could work with a certain person or publication, but it finally occurred to me that I didn’t really want their careers, I wanted my own. Once I acknowledged this, and got real about what the career I actually wanted to have looked like, I was able to identify the things that make me *unique*.

    Instead of chugging along as I had been and marketing myself in the same ways and venues that everyone else does, I was able to identify a perspective that makes me unique and which backs up a skill that I was already being hired based on.

    So now I’m building a brand online to support this and my work, which is a service-based industry. I launched the blog that I am channeling this through TODAY and I want to thank you for that because discovering your work a few weeks back is what finally got me to think about and realize the things that make me different. Just having that piece of information threw me into gear and I got everything put together and launched in record time, with 4 months worth of content already mapped out!

    Also, your makeup is gorgeous in this video!! (sorry, i can’t help myself when it comes to faces)

  104. Great vid, great topic, Marie.

    Only thing I’d be disincline to agree with is the assertion that our minds are “wired” to compare ourselves to others. If anything social conditioning is the real culprit for this “faulty wiring”.

    We live in a world where every mini-van, hatchback, station wagon and SUV wants to be a Ferarri. Society conditions us to be Ferarris because the look, sound and drive great … Of course they’re also not nearly as comfortable as the SUV, as quiet and smooth-riding as a sedan, or have nearly as much room as a mini-van.

  105. That issue was great,frankly I did not think that anyone would have the guts to put it on the table for all to see…it is sooo politically incorrect to envy successful people.
    I lack self confidence and jealousy is one of the aspects it takes. it feels good to know I’m not the only one and I will definitely stick your advice on a post-it on my forehead,the part about which part of the world do we want to be in?negative or positive?
    Excellent. You are a great help. Thank you so much. Catherine.

  106. Hey, hey, hey Marie!

    I’m jealous of writers! so I wrote a (Kickass, if I say so myself) e-book.

    I’ve learned that jealousy, fear… it stems from all the stuff we really care about…or we wouldn’t be experiencing those feeeeeeelings.

    Thanks for another great video!

  107. Love the idea of thinking that’s where I want to be! I keep telling myself run your own race, it doesn’t matter where anyone else is at, you will win if you do your own very best!

  108. Great message Marie! Full disclosure – I felt this recently with my acting career and it completely reminded me that I wasn’t really going for it. I booked two gigs in the past week with my “jealousy” reminder that I was definitely lacking in this area. Thanks again for your kick-ass wisdom 🙂

  109. debbie

    Marie…… Thanks for another great Video. You always motivate.
    Thanks Much Deb

  110. OMG…Loved this one! Thank you for tackling & HUGE thanks to Ms. “S” for her courage in asking. Boy, the “happy messenger” is speaking loud & clear to everyone through her!

    I have certainly felt this within my own self from time to time & yes, had to ask, “What’s this about?” You’re right, Marie, it always shows you where you need to open. 🙂

    I’ve also attended meetings & seminars where this has appeared way too many times, from the other end of the stick – where the leader recognizes another person of strength & wisdom in the room & shuts her down for fear that if she’s allowed to speak up, she’ll rob the leader of her clients or tribe. Leaders recognize one another & leaders must maintain the focus of their own presentations for sure. But, kicking your leadership up a notch means recognizing that the strong people in your tribe can bring out your best, compliment you in areas where you shine & are a huge bonus to you because you’re attracting them in the first place!

  111. Hi Marie,
    Great post!
    I teach my clients a distinction about jealousy & envy that I would love to add.
    Jealousy is where you want what someone has but you let them have it (i.e. you are happy for them.)
    Whereas, Envy, is where you want what someone has but you do not let them have it. So this would show up as someone either putting the other person down, sabotaging someones work, or worse.
    You are accurate Jealousy can be what motivates a person & lights a fire under their ass.
    But beeewarrrrre of ENVY…it will eat at a person & have them do not such great things to others.
    (So definitely, be wary of an envious person.)

  112. Hi Marie,

    GREAT post and props to “S” for bringing this one up-it takes major chops to voice a question that most of us hide under wraps b/c it’s too embarrassing to ask.

    I really liked the reframe, but one thing I would add is to realize that if we are jealous of someone in one aspect of life (let’s say career), we’re not looking at the whole picture (such as their relationships, personal time, family life, etc).

    It’s tough to see while we’re in the thick of it and the green monster has possessed us, that no one has it all and we should be grateful for all that we do have, while trying to be supportive of that person. Easier said than done, I know.

    I do want to say that your point of realizing that the jealousy trigger is something we ourselves need to take action on is a GREAT one! Very helpful.

    Thanks and keep up the good work!

  113. This is so funny – I actually drafted a blog post about my jealousy… of YOU, Marie!

    It’s exactly what you’re speaking to: that this was a ‘happy messenger’ showing me where I was holding back & I’m now taking actions to remedy those things. (For your interest, it’s around my appearance and doing more video…!)

    So thanks for being so in tune. I love how the collective unconscious works.

  114. Great Advice Marie!!

    You are right on with this one, I could relate to the problem because I felt the same way many years ago and learned the hard way how destructive it is to be in the mindset of jealousy or resentment.., you are only giving power that which you dont want!!

    Usually if you are able to take a deep look at who you are jealous of or have resentment for, you will see that they are not doing anything that you yourself cant do and maybe even do beter but most importantly…. The main difference between the two of you is that they are just,,, “Doing it” and you are just watching them ” Do It” . “So keep your eyes on the prize and only use the rear view mirror to avoid an accident” !

    Thanks Marie!,

  115. Dori Tattrie

    Hi Marie, this is the 3rd Q&A video I have watched and I think your stuff is FABulous 🙂 Your videos are fun and light but also super smart – thanks for sharing.

    I am just getting starting in this world of online business and am jealous of pretty much everyone I follow – Yikes! But it serves as great inspiration & motivation so I will use it to stay focused and SUCCEED!

  116. Thank you for this Q&A! I always enjoy seeing a different perspective on issues and this one is really good! I feel like I can move forward a little easier now that I can see it! Always a pleasure!

  117. Renee J. Mack

    Having not experienced much on this issue personally (my sister-in-law noticed my lack of jealousy and got jealous lol), I do not speak from a personal view point of those feelings. But from the view point of being on the receiving end, when others have destroyed my reputation based on no factual evidence. Jealousy can kill relationships and it does when it is not brought under control. I believe, from observation, that it is difficult for people to bring their thoughts into a more positive perception of others when their focus is primarily on themselves. Self-centeredness is the beginning, middle and end of jealousy. It’s all about “me” attitude and thinking. Our thought-life is about “choice”. Focussing on what is pure, true, of good report about others happens when we “die to self” and have hearts that are oriented toward giving out to others. Easier said than done when every human has been wounded and with scars that have been built up through the years since childhood. Some have been healed. Others not. I pray those blessings over everyone who needs healing emotionally and physically (since they’re connected) every day. God Bless You, Marie. You Rock!! Your approach to solvling jealousy issues is right on target.

  118. Kim

    Thank you, Marie. Your medicine is just what my soul’s been calling for. In those brief minutes while I watched this video, I felt such a release of what I no longer need to carry. And probably most vividly, I felt a sense of not being alone in this spiral of Jealousy I have been in for so long. I am so psyched that you have had the courage to shout out your bliss! … and that I was led to you & your magic — yay me!

  119. Hey Marie, I know I use jealousy and fear to harness more fuel for my ‘fire’. But I do feel like others use it in a bad way. I believe in the ‘evil eye’. I know some people cannot handle jealousy in the right way and would prefer to see you fail or say bad things to try to knock you down. These types of people drive me crazy and give me even more fuel for my ‘fire’ as well. Did you see “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”? Remember the dad would spray Windex all the time to try to fix everything or get rid of the ‘evil eye’, what a great film. I know someone who bought a brand new Mercedes once and his mother had him drive over eggs to get rid of the ‘evil eye’ other might have since he got the ‘new’ car. Kind of funny, but I believe it can really do some good. I know if I am really feeling like there is jealousy around me, I will put a packet of salt in my back pocket all day. Similar as throwing salt over your should I guess. Whatever works, as long as it moves me forward! Great 3 steps and love the ‘comparison hangover’. As always great Q&A Tuesday!

  120. ZetaG

    Thanks for that video, that is exactly how I see jealously as FUEL FOR MY FIRE 🙂

  121. Maya

    Okay, thank you sooo much for that, Marie. Literally an hour before I watched this, I was b*tching out over someone else who I consider to be “further along” in her career that I am. The reframe on jealousy is definitely a huge help and I greatly appreciate the 3 steps needed to turn it around. Wow! It’s a bit freaky to me that 4 minutes of advice can completely change my outlook on something. Thanks, girl!!

  122. It has been almost a week since I read this and it is still having an impact on me in a positive way. Thanks Marie for being who you are in the world….for stepping up and stepping out to give us an example of living boldly. : )

  123. I love the part about jealousy helping you notice that you have an interest in something. That’s a great point.

    One of the biggest differences between those who reach their goals and those who don’t is that those who do power through the obstacles. Jealousy and complaining are some of the biggest and most common obstacles.

    Thanks for the advice Marie.

  124. So great and so true!:)) thanks for bringing up a great question and topping it with an even better answer!:))
    Keep on rocking!:)
    xoxo J.

  125. I LOVE this! This is the real talk I need! I love how you can speak your mind in all your voices and characters lol (I break into characters all the time). I loved it so much I took it to another level and blogged about it. Realness is what I like and when I see it, I spread it! Check it out
    Thanx Marie for kicking the knowledge. 😉

  126. Marie! Great video! Thanks 🙂
    This is a great reframe. I have been doing this for a few years at the gym – with other runners who are faster and more lean than me – I wish them well and practice admiration rather than envy – small shift, massive difference. I make a point where possible to praise them personally too and say I admire them – something most people don’t hear often enough right, it’s really enriching

  127. Hey, I finally got one right! As the author of Here Comes Trouble, the most humorous book you never heard of, I still fight that initial reaction of jealousy when seeing great book reviews in the newspaper, magazines, etc., by telling myself, “I am happy and grateful that the book industry is still alive and kicking. Eventually that will be my success too.”

    It’s hard and sometimes even I don’t believe me, but I’m slowly making it a habit.

    Thanks for the great videos- look forward to them!

  128. haha – like Corrina Gordon Barnes, I was about to post an article about jealousy too! How weird.

    When I’m jealous I put my hand on my heart and say “Bless them and good things are happening to me too”. Then they always do!

  129. I have to work on this one. There is one person I admire but I get pain in my heart thinking that things are so easy for her. I have to change my thinking.

  130. K


    Thank you so much for this! I do this a lot and helps to have a constructive way to deal with it. Thank you!

  131. I had to google this video so I could hear the lesson again. This is my favorite video that you’ve ever made, Marie! I think industry jealousy has been one of the biggest obstacles and causes of heartache for me in my entrepreneurial journey. I am glad to have a framework for using it to help me grow!

  132. Bubbles12

    You are wonderful. Thank you for this. Did you write a book about dating? I think I have it.

  133. I love this advice! It’s so true! Thanks for (once again) opening my eyes!

  134. Marie – I LOVE step 2! What a great way to look at something I used to resist. My messenger to telling me what my purpose in life is – well, validating it. There’s no more time to play small. Thank you!

  135. My problem is that I am a Hair Stylist and I Have been for a long time. I recently let my salon business go and moved to another shop. I did This to free up my time to pursue My MLM business but once there I stated to have these failure and I can’t seem to shake them. Also I haven’t been making enough money to sustain my business. I could seriously use some advice on how to deal with feeling like a failure. I’m not used to this because I’ve been successfull in the hair biz before so I know what that feels. I’m ready more even more Success in my MLM.

    Daze & Confused

  136. Sorry for the typos I’m having feelings of Failure.

  137. That couldn’t be more true–how jealousy is a messenger of where you believe you should be putting more effort or where you would like to go in your life. And it’s a good thing! It’s a blessing.

    Excellent vid; one of your best, Marie.

  138. I’m jealous of you!

  139. Thank you for your tips Marie, excellent as always! Time to follow my “happy messenger” methinks 🙂

  140. I know I found myself reading & watching because this came to mind earlier today as I pondered success & failure and what they mean to me. I know a lot of the time when I’m feeling like I failed or didn’t do enough it’s 100% because I’m looking at what someone else has done, rather than what I am doing or have done. Being present, having gratitude, and seeing where you want to go next are great points of advice when dealing with this yeck feeling!

  141. Kim

    Where’s the LOVE IT button. Just signed up for B-School and I am totally pumped to expand the mind and ignite my business mojo! You truly rock Marie. 🙂

  142. Love your empowering answer to this truthful question 🙂

  143. Hey, you just pointed out to me something that I’d like to be doing! Love that. Thank you.

  144. sheri

    Gratitude is the attitude. I too believe if you constantly say things like “look how much money she’s making” that you are actually putting that out in the universe! You need to ask for blessings for yourself. Thanks Marie!

  145. Jesse LaTouche

    The idea of someone excelling in an industry should not exist theoredically. There is a delicate curve that should not be messed with. It seems to be a sucess curve starting in school and following you into the workplace/job market. If you change the course of your life then you affect that curve. Then logically your chances of suceeding or keeping up changes. I disagree with blaming others for failure when you do it to yourself.

  146. Shea McIntire

    I absolutely love this! Thank you for bringing this topic into light! I agree that when I feel envious of someone, I say…..hey! I can do that! I can be that! I can say that even better! Why can she do it and not me….?! Well….. I know I can… if I get going and actually do it! The envy comes from knowing I can do it but self loathe (a little) because I haven’t yet. It’s actually fuel to the fire and it serves me well. Thanks, S. And thanks Marie, for reminding me to rock my stuff. Xoxo

  147. Amy Talley

    I love the thought of reframing our jealousy and learning from it! It can be good news.

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