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How To Use Fear To Your Advantage + A Cool Brain Trick

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I’m sunkissed and ridonkulously inspired after a weekend business event called Summit at Sea.

Myself and over 1000 other thought leaders, authors, scientists, entrepreneurs, and artists (think Imogen Heap, Pitbull, The Roots, and world-famous Swedish DJ Axwell) took over an entire cruise ship in the Caribbean for a weekend of extreme mind-expansion and endless late night dance parties.

It was absolutely incredible.

I L-O-V-E connecting with people.  And events like this are filled with folks who are actually making things happen.  From ambitious start-ups to multi-billion dollar ventures (yes, billion with a B), I noticed a common thread in my fellow Summit cruisers: the ability to use fear to one’s advantage.

In fact, this common thread is the #1 “inner game” skill that separates the uber successful (and happy) business owners from those who struggle to make any real progress.

Here’s the good news.  Anyone can develop this ability!

Here’s the bad news.  Most of us have been programmed in exactly the WRONG way to deal with fear and instead find ourselves completely debilitated.  Most people think fear means fu*k everything and run.   And unfortunately, most people never break out of this misinformed, painful mind state.

In the video below, I’ll show you the right way to deal with fear and how to use it to your advantage to fuel you ahead. Plus, you’ll learn a simple method to set your brain on autopilot to help you achieve your dreams.

I honestly believe what you’re about to learn can positively alter the trajectory of your business and life so I highly recommend you watch this now.

Leave a comment below and tell me your three biggest insights. Bonus points: how can you “actionize” these strategies in the next 48 hours?

I can’t wait to hear your feedback on this one.  And if you find this useful, go ahead and share it with your friends. As always, thanks for reading and watching.

xoxo

Marie Forleo

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Read the comments or Add yours

Lisa Fabrega April 12, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Love this video Marie!
I love my fear–as soon as I get that fearful feeling in my body (mine feels like fire) about something, I know it means I NEED to do that thing I’m afraid of. So fear has now become my truth teller–whenever I feel fear, I know I’m about to have a big breakthrough and I get excited :-)

Thanks for the always fabulous vids!

xo
Lisa Fabrega
http://www.notaskinnyminnie.com

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Anne Samoilov April 12, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Marie – This has to be one of my favorite videos thus far.
Fear is your fuel. OMG. That gave me shivers.

Power Posse is the way to go. I got a few peeps in that but you have totally encouraged me to keep my search going – allowing the posse will evolve with me!

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Mandy Cohen April 12, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Perfect timing Marie as I sit here wondering if I really want to expose so much of myself in my next newsletter. Inspired by something you said about your parents, I wrote it feverously last week. Since then, I have edited it and toned it down a dozen times until I was thinking about not running it at all. Well, I’m going to send it off to my VA now. Thanks for the push and all you do!

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Erin Ashley April 12, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Loving it, Marie! Fantastic information, as always. :)

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Tancie April 12, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Fantastic energy in this vid today Marie– Especially love your reference to the Powerful Reticular Activating System (RAS)- that is EXACTLY what I teach as an NLP practitioner– Happy to see you shed light on it for all those ladies who are unfamiliar!!

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Kristen April 12, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Best video ever! “party with you fear” it’s like picturing the audience in their underwear.
Kristen

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Laura Roman April 12, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Hiya Marie,
I love to talk about fear, but hate to feel it. Your video has given me a whole new perspective. I love the idea about befriending your fear, in that way, it becomes manageable, smaller…sort of live Alice in Wonderland action.
I now see my fear as a raging fire inside of me that can motivate me to do things I never would have done before. Fear doesn’t have to be something that I run from, but rather something that ignites me everyday…and sets me out in a blaze of my passion and love…
Thanks, Marie, don’t think that’s three (but I have a client waiting)
xxoo
Laura

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Heather C Stephens April 12, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Marie,

I swear you were speaking directly to me in this video! Love the party with your fear concept! I’ve been pushing my comfort zone majorly since last summer and I’m actually feeling addicted to fear. Never thought of myself as a thrill seeker, but it’s truly what I’ve become! (Although base jumping isn’t on my to do list yet!)

My three biggest insights:
1. Going into your fear instead of trying to avoid the fierce fear feelings!
2. Get a power posse…I’ve got one, but I’m little miss independent always forging my own trails instead of leaning on others who are there and willing to help me.
3. Fear = Fuel analogy…as a student pilot, I think of the fear I had of learning to recover from a stall. It involves increasing altitude steeply so that the wings lose lift. There is nothing like that moment of “hang” as the plane stalls followed by feeling of G’s from the momentum as the plane dives for the ground, picking up energy and speed, which once again gives the wings lift. That’s what the fear = fuel analogy feels like to me.

Action steps: Reach out to a mentor I’ve admired from afar and approach him for an interview!

Thanks for the lesson! It was awesome!

Heather Stephens

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Kathe Wood April 12, 2011 at 1:13 pm

okay, this was phenomenal. The whole issue of clarity – huge! I know I am going to make time to REALLY figure out what I want in my carreer – and the people I want to attract. This was huge help to me. To view fear as an ally….what a gift!

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Sabrina Weyeneth April 12, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Awesome video Marie. Definitely pointing all my clients to it! Thanks so much.
Sabrina

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Lisa Fabrega April 12, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Great video Marie! Thank you!

I used to run from my fear, and I LOVE my fear now. Whenever I feel it, I know that it’s a sign that I need to keep moving forward. To me feeling fear now equals huge growth, so I actually now get excited when I start to feel fear :-)

Thanks for this awesome video that helped remind me of that!

Lisa Fabrega
http://www.notaskinnyminnie.com

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Daniela April 12, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Gosh Marie, you are soooo funny and spontaneous!!
This post is like you’ve read my mind, although I have to thank the person who wrote you with his/her question. Thanks!!!
And thank you Marie, once again!
I’ll go out and start dancing with my fear and myself!! =)

:D *

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Nathalie Lussier April 12, 2011 at 1:19 pm

I don’t think I can hear this message often enough. That, and you’re just hilarious. I don’t think of partying with my fear in exactly those visuals, so now I’ve got a great way of reframing it. :)

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Lia Huber April 12, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Wow, Marie. This was JUST what I needed to hear today. Thank you!

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Corinne Zupko April 12, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Love your video Marie – You’re totally describing mindfulness! This is a practice of turning TOWARDS rather than AWAY from our experience. By facing into those unpleasant feelings, that is ironically when we find freedom. Thanks so much!

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Carla April 12, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Are you in my head? For reals, yesterday I was struck by the idea that I need to get out of my head, write down what it is that I want to do and all the fears that are holding me back. I’m now officially addicted to journaling my fears! I wrote them down, set them free into the world and said, “That’s it? That’s all you got?” So yeah, definitely learning to party with my fear. Your description of riding on the feeling of fear made me want to do something extra out there like finally buying that domain I’ve been thinking about and launching the blog that’s been in my head for so long just to practice what you’re doing =)

The power posse bit totally hit home. There is one person in particular who’s been on my radar for sometime and I’ve been trying to figure out how to connect. So perhaps an invite to my personal power posse? I just struggle with creating a power posse virtually. I really, really dig face to face, drinks in hand, kind, hugs good-bye type interaction. Thinking I’ll be having to snuggle up to Skype more, huh?

Thank you for this! The universe has been listening to my mojo =)

ps. I’m newish around her but totally loving what you’re preaching. And videos? Whoa (Joey from Blossom-type whoa). Good day.

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Laura April 12, 2011 at 1:44 pm

I LOVE this video!! Fear as fuel is a brilliant concept. I remember my high school theater teacher used to say to use our pre-show jitters as energy on stage, and it worked every time!
Three things that I’m going to do in the next 48 hours:
1) Clarify my goals with specificity & commit them to paper.
2) Begin building my power posse by reaching out to people I know who are doing similar things.
3) Submit my video of SYS!!
Thank you so much for this, Marie!

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Anne April 12, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Thank you – as always. Your videos are always on spot, entertaining and inspiring. I’ve been afraid to create a power posse. That’s going to change in the next 48 hours.

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Pat April 12, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Thanks for this video and the reminder that fear is an ally, this past few weeks I have had to deal with health challenges that kept me paralized with fear not only in my life but in my biz also. I always felt that fear was something I had to go to war with and while I know it does not work.. I keep on doing it :(

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Antiqua April 12, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Marie,

This could not have come at a better time for me. I have been hot and heavy into creation and production for my new online victory course for victims of sexual abuse. Well, yesterday as I pushed my site, I came to the realization (fear) that I just told the world (or anyone who looks) that I was abused. Everyone in my life already knew it, but as the site went live, my stomach went into knots. It was just fear and I just took in some deep breaths and walla excitement was on the other side. I don’t care that I am telling, that is old news. Now it is time to ride this coaster and have some fun, bringing love and freedom to others who are not quite living their dreams as of yet. Thanks for the reminder.

PS just so I put my butt on the line, my video is coming :) Even though my soul is sold or at least on sale right now :)

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Kristin Morris April 12, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Marie!
Thank you for this great reminder of what fear really is… I remember at RHH Live last year we did an exercise with Josh which you just reminded me of! How I’ll put it into practice in the nxt 48? Well, within the last 48, I told my linked in connections about my new biz ‘hubster’ which took some kahonas on my part (really) and just posted a new position on my blog – expanding my team of 1! This is scary sh*t for me! Onward!

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Kristin Morris April 12, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Sending my url with this reply – my comment didn’t post it… cross fingers :)

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Elsa Isaac April 12, 2011 at 2:30 pm

love this Marie!
yet another brilliant reminder to ride this wave of life downstream instead of upstream.
the partying with your fear visual was hilarious!

xx,
e

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Linda April 12, 2011 at 2:36 pm

1) the Reticular Activating System looks like a flower. specifically, a lily.
so. that’s nice.

and

2) i loved hearing about how it works. it adds another dimension to why vision boards can be effective.

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Roshanda Gilmore April 12, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Awww What a AWESOME video!!! Loved it Loved it Loved it!

Its time to Part-AY with our fear! FEAR is false and only illusions we have in our head.

Thanks for the ROCKIN video!

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Hannah Marcotti April 12, 2011 at 2:38 pm

My RHH pose from last year is incredible behind words. I am so in love with their power and strength and energy.

I will be selling my soul with you.

Actionize, I need to get more, more clear. How much, what it looks like, what I’m doing. The money stuff still needs more clarity. I think I’ll write about it!

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Cory Fossum April 12, 2011 at 2:40 pm

I know we don’t know each other or anything, Marie, but you’re kinda one of my favorite people in the world. These videos make me smile and get my Tuesdays all fired up. This one especially. Fear – along with anxiety – is a funny thing in that it isn’t real. It’s a feeling we choose to experience. Or not. (He says, as though it were just that easy.) But I’ve spend the past year or two learning to embrace my fears and anxieties (and neuroses, whatever) and turn them into positive driving forces. This past month I guess you could say I started partying with them and whaddya know – best business month in years. :-)

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Dana Eason April 12, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Totally LOVE this video! I have a mentor that has a motto – Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway! So I’m doing it girl! ;) Full out!!! Thank you for sharing your Marieisms! :) xo

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Angela April 12, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Thanks for giving me clear steps on how to handle fear…..party on! :)

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Barbara April 12, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Great! Came just in time as I was “fearing” my lawschool finals and the abundance of information that I had to learn!! Helped me filter out what I need and what I don’t need to study!! Please don’t focus solely on entrepreneurs, but also students like myself who went abroad to catch my dream of becoming a lawyer.

xxxooo Barbara

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Liz Longacre April 12, 2011 at 3:06 pm

I needed to watch this. I have something coming up that I’m fearful about. I’m going to try and ride the fear and party with it! Thank you.

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Marsha Stopa April 12, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Great perspective, delivered with your usual freshness and spark.
I do have a “power posse;” it’s called a Mastermind group.
Rock on!

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Jeanne April 12, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Marie! I have been watching you over the last year as I’ve begun to blaze my entrepreneurial path. Your support has enriched the process and this VIDEO was one of your best!

You’ve inspired some great insights…Thank you!

3 biggest insights:
1) make fear your ally, not your enemy
2) use fear to give you purpose and protect you (its sensation will guide you)
3) if you don’t feel fear, you’re not playing BIG!

Fear-Actionized:
1) embrace the FEELING of fear when it comes up
2) gain more clarity: i’m working on my entrepreneurial 10 year timeline. Starting March 2011 (27 yrs. old – March 2021 (37 yrs. old)
Goals March 2014, 30 yrs. old…
Goals March 2018, 34 yrs. old…
Goals March 2021, 37 yrs. old…

I’m writing out my goals/visions for each milestone to give me more CLARITY about how FEAR is going to need to WORK for me if I’m gonna get her done!

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Marie Overfors April 12, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Marie, you have taught me so much about fear. This is an excellent video!

Ladies, if you haven’t already, check out Marie’s 8 Big Mistakes Most Women Make in Business and How to Avoid Them. OMG. Important and SPOT-ON.

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Stacey April 12, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Thanks so much, Marie, for sharing insights about the tiny but oh-so-mighty RAS.

It’s so great to have a scientific basis for understanding that our beliefs affect what we perceive, and what’s possible—and that they are completely under our control.

I’m always on the look-out for new messages to send my RAS — a better-feeling thought or affirmation really goes a long way.

A perfect affirmation is often simply found by “turning around” my current stressful thought. For example, if I believe that I don’t have enough time to do the things I really want to do, I say “I have plenty of time to do the things I want to do.” (Or if that sounds too far-fetched, “I am creating plenty of time to do the things I want to do.”)

When I find an affirmation that works, I immediately become happier and more successful in every sense. And all from a VERY cool mind trick. Thanks again for sharing, Marie!

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Brandi April 12, 2011 at 3:23 pm

love it marie….I’ve been offered a great opportunity and have been afraid to do it. I think I should go for it.

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Mariah Danielsen April 12, 2011 at 3:24 pm

I needed this video today. It’s like you’re readin my mind!

LOVED when you said ‘Fear is Excitement with Brakes On..’ That was a revelation for me. Can’t let fear hold me back any longer!

Also loved the bit about the Power Posse, and luckily I am finding one of my own! I do lots of design for small businesses that can’t afford big company rates for design and web, so we have been exchanging ideas and info to help each other out.. it’s great!

Thanks for another great Q&A Tuesday!

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Patrice Dickey April 12, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Dear Marie,
I LOVE your boundless enthusiasm and rock-ability! What a great example you LIVE through demonstration.

Another acronym for FEAR: Friendly Energy Announcing Resistance– so let’s
Face Everything and Rally– how ’bout it?! Keep on having fun!

XO, Patrice

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Claudia April 12, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Appreciate the light, brief, and helpful possibilities this video unleashes.

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Djanira April 12, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Thanks for another awesome video Marie

I’ve got a power posse made up of amazing women I met at RHH Live last year and they are a huge inspiration :)

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Rachel Luna April 12, 2011 at 4:57 pm

As usual, an excellent post. Interestingly, I’m working on my book, Successful People are Full of It: Courage, Resilience, Attitude, Perseverance (<–check out the acronym. woop woop!) and one of the chapters is titled Courage is Highly Underrated. It's all about fear, how to overcome it, how to use it to your advantage and I also share a lil' tactic I like to call Courage By Default (TM) where I show the reader how to get through a fear by either delegating, embracing, or pushing past by any means necessary.
I also dedicate an entire chapter in my book towards creating a winning team and why it's so important to achieve success.
I love how perfect your video timing is! You go girl!
Can't wait to see you in NYC, baby!

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Monica Dennis April 12, 2011 at 4:57 pm

You know what’s interesting? I’ve been wrestling with my own fears over the years – and success can be a big one – but I’m pinning them down more and more. It’s getting easier to just not care what other people think or hat other people are doing, as long as I do what I believe to be right for MY customers. The challenge? Wrestling my business partner’s fears! We both have a thing about “being out there” but like I said, I care less and less about that, and more and more about getting us to stand out. I have to press my partner to keep up with me on this front, but thankfully she doesn’t fight too much. If I insist, she’ll come with me because she knows it takes both of us to get our brand across; it’s the mix of both of us that makes us win.

This is great to keep in mind while we continue wrestling – be fueled by our fear. We can do that!

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Maryellen Smith April 12, 2011 at 5:11 pm

I’ve heard fear described as “excitement holding its breath” it doesn’t seem as scary to walk through fear when you think of it that way.

Thanks Marie for paving the way to forge forward into the unknown with courage.

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Galina April 12, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Hi Marie, what a great topic for discussion. What hit home for me was your comment about diving into your fears. One analogy that came to mind is my experience with skiing. I absolutely love skiing and do it every weekend during the season. At the same time, i have a very strong fear of heights. What i’ve learned over the years is that if i just stand there on the top of the hill, i get paralized with fear. To avoid that i just have to start moving down, linking my turns. By doing so, I turn my fear into an excitement. I have not thought about fighting my fears in the same way in business before. Thank you for the insight.

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Jen April 12, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Damn girl, this video is fo sho the best eva!

What I got out of it:
1) Party with your fear…every time I feel like avoiding it I will think of this video, with your corona and “Fear” dancing with you. A perfect visual whenever I’m in my shit.

2) I need a business posse and be not afraid to reach out to them. Will you be in my business posse? (damn I was scared to write that). I’ll see you in SYS and RHHLive so I guess I’m one of your groupies! LOL

3) Being authentic rocks.

So now, I’m going to finish my damn web site so everyone will know about me. Thanks Marie.

xoxo Jen

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Anna April 12, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Hi Marie,
What a great topic! I can so relate to the part where you talk about going into your fear vs. getting over it. I have been getting passed it. Kind of walked around it to get to where I want to be, but I will try to go into it like a cloud of smoke and see how it feels in my body.
I heard you speak at the WISH Summit and just had to check you out;). I am a New Yorker as well and can’t wait to meet you in person soon.
Anna

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Stacie Frazier April 12, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Oh how I needed to hear this. I am convinced I am the world’s biggest chicken so I REALLY need to take your advice! From now on, I will change my way of thinking of fear as a bad thing, but will view it as needed fuel to get to where I need to be. Thank you for that insight!

And I loved how you talked about a power posse! I definitely need to get to work on that! I feel like my clients are already my champions of my brand & business but I need a force of similar business-minded females to brainstorm with and to build each other up. I get so caught up with work that I fail to give myself permission for things like this, but I see it’s importance after watching your video.

So happy I found your blog! You absolutely rock!

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Amy McCarron April 12, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Loved this video!! Thank you for posting! I have a few things this week that incite a great amount of fear in me – so great timing! I am hoping to see this fear as a fuel and get energized through moving forward.

Thanks again,
Amy

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Erin Meagher April 12, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Party with your fear! As if the suggestion wasn’t brilliant enough, your video gave me this great image, so that when my scared self says, “Party with fear, what the heck does that mean,” the growing part of me just pictures you catching up with fear on the dance floor.

I live with chronic pain and found myself in a troubling situation today, but instead of F*king everything and running (another brilliant phrase!!), I said to myself, I’m in a gorgeous place with amazing people today, I must be able to get down with this fear somehow – and I did. What’s better than advice that starts to shift your life within a few hours of hearing it. But of course, that’s why I continue to look forward to Tuesdays with you. Thank you for leading the way!

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Karoline April 12, 2011 at 8:23 pm

This video is truly inspirational, Marie! We’ve learned a valuable lesson that stirred us to embrace fear and let it fuel us to succeed. Thanks for sharing it!

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Stephanie Watanabe April 12, 2011 at 8:32 pm

I should probably watch this video daily – GIRL, you’re on point yet again!
Thanks for all the great “CI” reminders – got shake my booty & get my party on with the fear. YEAH YEAH!
P.S. Josh’s cameo – maybe his best role to-date…awesome! :)
Hope to see you in NYC next month! xo

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Caryn Elizabeth Kehrly April 12, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Marie,
Your content is very good on this. I personally have discovered that fear is what we believe when we believe that we are the center of things. it’s tricky because it’s a red flag that there is an imbalance of insecurity and pride. Thinking to low of oneself is “pride” though many only see the boastful pride as being a hindrance to a healthy mindset.
Thinking too poorly is kind of like not acknowledging the truth that you have been created beautifully and wonderfully. Though its conditioning for many, the truth must be told. You are so valuable. This world would not be the same without you in it.
I have discovered that my value is incomprehensible. What we do with this value either shows pride/insecurity or humility/respect for oneself. This is upside down to some thinking.
So I’m here to state that someone who knows one’s value is “humble”. And someone who is ignorant of this is really the one who is in pride! Seems weird but it’s the truth!
xo
Caryn
ps. The solution to this problem. Acknowledge that you have innumerable value daily. In this you are humble and then useful to be a blessing to others around you.

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Erin April 12, 2011 at 9:23 pm

Love this video! The rollercoaster analogy really clicked for me. Thanks so much!
I’m hoping to start my “awesome inspiring creative entrepreneur” posse when I go to World Domination Summit in June! And, in the next 48 hours, I am determined to party with my fear! Rich Happy and Hot Live looks amazing!

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Melanie April 12, 2011 at 9:35 pm

I’m an actor/writer and have a showcase coming up in 3 weeks in Los Angeles.
Stuff I’m gonna do to turn my fear into fuel:
1) Write out my clear vision for my acting career! I am excited to do this. So empowering.
2) Sharpen my eye to identify who around me is in my Power Posse, who around me I would like to bring into my Power Posse, and who surrounding me is bringing me down. Solidify bonds with the Power Posse. POWER TO THE PEOPLE!
3) Work hard. Learn my lines. Be diligent. Breathe. Work out. Laugh.

YEAH!

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Vidette Vanderweide April 12, 2011 at 9:36 pm

I’m so partyin’ with the fear! Great analogy and I’m partyin’ like a rock star, baby! Loved the vid this week!

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Kaori April 12, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Hi, Marie. I like what you say about fear. I got to know that staying away from a problem because of fear does not allow us to get to the core point that is creating the whole situation causing the problem. Thanks always.

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esteemedgirls.com April 12, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Thank you Marie, this is something that I am slowly learning. Fear is real whether we like it or not and I feel that doing something without any fear means that you are comfortable, it is not beyond you. Fear means that your body is preparing for a a major shift, celebrate, go forth and do it. Life takes courage.

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Nicole Bradford April 12, 2011 at 11:48 pm

WOW was this timing perfect! I’m so amazed and excited about everything unfolding in my life, and the energy in my solar plexus has been distracting me a bit today, and NOW that I watched your video, I have what I need to get into it! AND many thoughts over the last time span about dreaming some co-collaborators into my life…Power Posse! Great phrase! Especially when compared to Pity Posse, or Petty Posse… I have been “meeting” potential candidates through the SYS scholarship contest! Man, these women you surround yourself with ROCK!! So glad to find myself in such GOOD COMPANY!!

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Jodi April 13, 2011 at 12:00 am

Great analogy,loved it as it makes it so much easier to move and break through it!!
Thank you

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Debra Roberts April 13, 2011 at 1:57 am

Hi I am just starting out in business and always find your advice sooooo excellent and this video is the best yet will defiantly be coming to one of your events you are an inspiration thank you !

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Llyane April 13, 2011 at 2:17 am

awesome!

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Anita April 13, 2011 at 4:27 am

Another great video – thanks Marie. Loved the roller coaster analogy too.

There’s another point worth mentioning: fear very often has a way of running below the radar, or masquerading as a seemingly-good-excuse-not-to-do-something.

So if you REALLY want to do something, but you’re not – you can bet there’s some sort of fear of something that’s running under the surface. Do yourself a favor and ask the right questions to find it :)

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Claire Stone April 13, 2011 at 7:32 am

as always, just brilliant! And I love how you always use a posh English accent when you use some academic/technical term! If only I was as posh and clever when talking!

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Sugar April 13, 2011 at 8:42 am

Thank you, Marie!
I have not realized how important it is to stick with people sharing similar ideas of how to lead your life! My friends think that I am an alien, too… which is not helping or encouraging. I will definitely try to find more people “of my kind”.
Love your Q&A Tuesdays!

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Renee J. Mack April 13, 2011 at 9:02 am

Being a newbie, these same thoughts have been entering my mind. I love, love, love your solutions. I really enjoy the “Party with Fear” part. Slowly, I am developing a Power Posse. Friends are not in it. If you have anyone(s) to suggest, I am open. My niche is health, which encompasses everything really – mental, emotional, spiritual (I am a Christian), psychological and physical. I am little older (not old lol) 62 years young to be exact. I am young at heart (always have been) and love hanging out with “young at heart” people, including the younger folks. I enjoy watching your videos. I love your personality and character. God Bless You!

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Liz April 13, 2011 at 10:40 am

Perfect timing! My own ‘power posse’ and I were exploring this very issue this week. I LOVE the idea that fear is excitement with the brake on… it really helps me to understand a different way to harness this powerful energy! You’re spot on, as usual Marie. Thank you!

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victoria April 13, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Great Video! Great Topic! We often are conditioned by society on how to deal with fear. For me it either turns into excuses, justification, doubts, stress, drama, procrastination, which cancels everything out. Though when I stop thinking about it too much and just trust the process. Fear for me becomes this vehicle (more specifically, its like a 1957 chevy with a porsche transmission under the hood of the car ready to blast off lately!!) One of my biggest fear in life is actually giving birth, rather then with work and making art. With giving birth, before having my daughter, I’ve actually connected with some awesome moms on flickr online, my kick ass NYC girlfriends that’s been though it all!! And here locally where I live, that have helped me get through it emotionally and physically. So as you say a supportive posse helps tremendously, and reaching out to local organizations that support you as a business owner, motherhood, womanhood, spiritualhood, whatever works, will help you dance with your fear ;-) Bless you marie!

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Dana Phillips April 13, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Great video – love the roller coaster analogy – makes so much sense! I face the same fears failure and success! Can’t wait to ride the butterflies next time they come around.
Thanks, Dana

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DivineYoganista April 13, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Being surrounded by people who inspire and uplift really is a key…

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Shannon Tate-Giordano April 13, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Hi Marie!!!
Awesome awesome awesome. This was so helpful and just the kind of pep talk I needed today. I had a quick question too….do you know what week RHH is going to be in the fall yet? I AM COMING!! I also have plans for another event in october though and I want to make sure it doesn’t conflict before I book my flight for that one. If you have any idea at all- general month/time that would be great! You Rock!

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marie April 13, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Hey Shannon! We HAVE the dates: Oct 21-23rd in NYC. Announcement coming shortly!

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Melissa Cassera April 13, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Hey Marie – grrr, wish I watched this yesterday because I had a photo shoot today and fear was pulsing through my body. I kept closing my eyes, breathing deep, and then opening to deliver that shot. I think if I’d partied with my fear, I could have delivered better energy! :-)

Anyhow, great vid as usual. Where did you get your shirt? – super cute!

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Marie...from Seattle April 13, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Greeting, fellow Marie!

“Fear is Excitement w/the Brakes On!” FABULOUS! Love that concept…many applications in my life to try that one on!

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Tanya April 13, 2011 at 10:32 pm

This video inspired my coaching call today. Julie has a great vision that she is so clear about and she just needed this gentle push to get her out of her head and into action. I referenced the video. She embraced the fear and moved through it, setting a date for the launch of her business. Thanks Marie. Julie says thanks too!! As for myself, I took action despite fear in creating my Selling Your Soul vid. So happy I did it. :)

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Sarah April 14, 2011 at 2:27 am

Oh My
Great fear piece – love it!
just clicked through on the link to the Sea event – Sweet Jezebel – I felt inspired just looking at the line-up.
Thank you!
S

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Christi Koelker April 14, 2011 at 8:43 am

Hi Marie…I submitted my video yesterday for the Selling Your Soul Scholarship but woke up this morning realizing I’d already won by just getting over my fear of being in front of the camera. I knew I needed to be the one to be in the Read Your Life video series, but just kept putting it off because I was terrified of judging myself (“is that what my hair looks like? oooohhhh, I see the after effects of that mocha frappe right below my chin!”). But now it’s over, done, a fear in the past! I watched myself and was ok with it all!
So thanks to you (once again) and Danielle for virtually kicking my butt. I danced with the fear and it just sort of left the dance early! I blogged about it here: readyourlife.typepad.com, twittered it, posted on FB. Aaaaahhhh!!!! RELIEF!

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jeanette Svensson April 14, 2011 at 9:51 am

Hey Marie!:)

Love you videos and everything you share!:) You get me back on track, so a big thank you for that!:) Keep on rocking and have a great weekend!

xoxo
Jeanette

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Karie Hill April 14, 2011 at 3:15 pm

I almost peed in my pants when you were partying with your fear with a Corona in hand! HILARIOUS! That is such a perfect image for when my fear creeps up. I’ll picture you drinking a brewski asking fear if they gained some weight.

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Elizabeth April 14, 2011 at 7:00 pm

I absolutely loved the idea of partying with your fear – however, I wonder if getting drunk with your fear ever leads to what I’ve called the “drunken dinner party guest” – which is your inner critic. You know, that guest that gets drunk and starts laying into you, calling you an idiot for being an entrepreneur, and passing out on your couch for the night.

That said, I’m just gonna remove alcohol from the party and ride the roller coaster! :-)

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Kim Foster April 15, 2011 at 1:30 am

Fab video, Marie! Fear is huge…we all have it. I love the idea of turning fear on it’s head and using that power for good, not evil!

I just started making a list of my fantasy power posse team (for my new startup), and you are at the top of my list! You the best, girl!

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Hillary Rubin April 15, 2011 at 10:25 am

Love dancing with fear… and I guess when we resist it FEAR gets fat. Doing all the steps here as I got from you this past year in RHHVM and beyond. xo

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Barbara April 15, 2011 at 12:35 pm

This helps me in more than one situation!! With friends as well. I finally stood up for myself after a so called friend, now former friend, would constantly belittle me. After standing up for myself, I “feared” how she would react, what she would say, tell others…I was shaking all day “worrying” until I listened again to your video and got into my fear..asked myself is this the worst case scenario, and if so, who cares, she is not a friend anyways, my fear left..it was amazing!!!

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Lucy Gallardo April 15, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Awesome Marie,
Thanks for the great advice… I loved when you said that we should party with our fear-this makes this awful feeling less threatening.

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Estelle April 15, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Ms Marie – Love your rollercoaster analogy, and super-love your video production values! You are an inspiration :)

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MEdiaJezUS April 15, 2011 at 9:49 pm

Oh, don’t the AD$ DI$TRA¢T U$…?

My EYEs & EARS enjoyed consuming your pretty sexy/spiffy video spot…

If we have a FEAR of Partying, what then?

Are there many males working this group, or is it just designed to inspire the ladies?

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Kenya Johnson April 16, 2011 at 2:47 am

I absolutely loved this video, the best part is I GOT IT! I truly understood what was being said I love your delivery …Face the Fear

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Fharid April 17, 2011 at 1:24 am

I just wanna fuck you, you are soooo HOT! Are you available??!?!?!?!!?!? pleaseeeeeeeeeeee I love you

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Jeannette Pucella April 17, 2011 at 9:46 am

This was so simple and yet amazingly helpful for me! I’ve been struggling with FEAR foreveh! I think this is gonna be my secret weapon, thanks Marie! Also, you mention the Fall RHH Live event, have you released the dates for that yet? I’d like to attend this year and I need to block it on my calendar. Thank you again for all that you do!

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Jeannette Pucella April 17, 2011 at 9:49 am

just saw the RHH Live dates above! Got EM! Can’t WAIT!

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Olga April 17, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Marie, you’re very beautiful here! keep going like that))
xoxo

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Jen April 17, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Marie!! I loved this video. I did think fear looked a little fat in those jeans! When I feel that tingle of fear in my chest I recognize it and think about it as I AM ALIVE! My mom always told me if you didn’t feel nervous, you wouldn’t be alive! Thanks again for such great advice!

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S.L. April 18, 2011 at 9:54 am

Thanks for this inspirational video! I decided to face my fear of creating a website and putting myself out there on the web. I was afraid because I have little technical knowledge and because I was worried that nobody would visit my site.

I overcame my fears, though, and launched http://www.repaymystudentloans.com last week. It’s a forum designed to provide a supportive community for people dealing with student loan debt. Thanks for encouraging me to overcome my fears and create a site that will hopefully help people as they work to repay their student loans!

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Julia Harwood April 20, 2011 at 4:57 am

Hi, I loved the idea of dancing with fear. My favourite quote is “Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but feeling the fear and doing it anyway” I have a “Healing Art” blog at http://juliaharwood.blogspot.com and I am going to add a blog for everyone to come and check this video out. Thanks so much.

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Stefanie Ream-Blackham May 2, 2011 at 11:34 pm

I really liked the idea of partying with my fear. Your cutaway to the bar scene will stay with me for quite some time. I’ll always remember it.

This post struck such a chord with me because you described the exact way fear feels to me: excitement with brakes on. I now know it’s ok to fall into it. Nothing bad will happen. Tomorrow will still come.

Next step is to clarify what I want my life to be like after I embrace/get down and boogey with my fear.

Such a really great video and I can’t wait to read more of your blog posts.

Thanks,
Stefanie Ream-Blackham @bestsalesprinciples.info

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KAREN May 18, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Marie you are truly awesomeola. :) )

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J Phillips January 25, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I’ve always known that fear can be used as an ally. Looked it up; it’s not necessarily for business though. But, can I marry you? lol…

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Kris May 16, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Love this video. Could watch it over and over. It’s exactly what I’m trying to say in my book Feel The Fear And Freelance Anyway. It’s not about having no fear, but about that fear propelling you to be your best self, and having determination to succeed anyway. It’s not worth doing if it’s not a bit scary, right?

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Shanique June 1, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Three words…..You are awesome, you always have the answer to my question all i have to do is listen to you and you nudge me abit further to success. This video is inspirational , true and unique and I thank you …keep up the good work!!!

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Janine June 28, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Hi Marie,
A dear friend sent me the link to the wonderful world of YOU quite a while ago. Having just had twins I subscribed but actually never opened one of your mails until yesterday. How my life has changed in the past 24 hours! A friend and myself have been playing with an idea for our own company for the past 10 months (in the week my twins were born). We have been talking and talking blah blah blah… To cut a long story short, the past 2 weeks I have realized that life is so not waiting for me. Another huge moment was when I realized that I will be never be a good example to my boys by always living in fear of failure. How can i expect them to chase their dreams if im not doing it? But how….
So, the universe conspired and last night, while watching The Wild (a soap opera in South Africa) I started cleaning my inbox and WHAT??. Where have you been all my life?
I watched 2 of you videos, and I’m writing my businessplan as we speak…uhm.. type.
Im gathering the power posse, inviting them all for tea and koeksisters to brainstorm and help me to be a better me, mom and inspiration to my boys.
Thank you
As soon as i start making money, I will one day book on of your seminars or anything just to meet you and say thank you in person.
You rock!
Ps: the past 2 evenings, I’ve been on my pc thinking, creating, writing and praying until very late. The months before, I went to bed at 20:00, exhausted and drained…. Things are about to change :0)

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shinazy August 10, 2012 at 6:40 pm

F false
E expectations
A appearing
R real

I found I need to keep moving, planning, doing … and when I stuck, yuck … I clear my desk – putting everything away. Now, what is the first item I get to work on? It is the most important and urgent task – it really happens this way.

This also helps me STOP thinking about fear and START doing something.
When I am doing, I am unable to focus on fear since I’m focused on doing.

Here’s a tweetable, aka, #BOBBism As I perceive so shall it be

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Jane Frankland August 11, 2012 at 4:01 am

Oh I love this post. I did a Vblog on Fear the other week but there are so many useful things in this post, like fear is fuel; it can blast you to your dreams; it’s excitement with the breaks on. I found the bit on the reticular activity system really interesting too. I use my fear mostly to propel me & ot expand my comfort zone, although on occasion I know that there’s some avoidance going on. Thanks for this post Marie. Very helpful.

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Jacqueline February 11, 2013 at 5:04 am

Thanks so much for this video. I’m building up my own business, teaching English classes in a fun and non-threatening way, and find it so scary. This thought is constantly on my mind and the feeling of fear constantly in my tummy, especially now that I’m trying to make my plans more detailed and want to go ‘out there’.

It’s good to know that this fear is normal and seemingly even something that shows you that you are on the right path. As it only shows it means a lot to you and you really believe in it. So thanks to those insights. And also thanks to your website and your FB page…I’ve finally found people I can connect with…who know what I’m going through…it’s making such a big difference to me, thank you!

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francine savard March 4, 2013 at 7:49 pm

Thank you so much for this video. I am newly registered and i just realized that i am not running on empty but full of fuel!!!!

tx :) )

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Georgia March 12, 2013 at 8:27 pm

WOW – perfect timing for me to find and read this! Fear is and has been holding me back for so long now. Love the concept you present here!!
Thanks for such a great site, im loving it!!
x

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Natasha March 22, 2013 at 6:50 pm

This is so spot on, Marie.. Thank you!
Partying with your fear, specifically the body sensations that make it up, is so key to moving through it, and getting to the other side. I deal with this everyday, and think you encapsulated it so perfectly!

Party on!
Natasha
http://www.nuhealthandwellness.com
http://www.theorganicbeautyblog.com

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cristina May 7, 2013 at 1:26 pm

Juicy answer Maria thanks

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