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Do Your Clients Drain Your Energy? This Could be the Problem.

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I just got back from an amazing weekend in Toronto.

One of my Rich Happy & Hot B-School clients made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.  She invited me out for a rock-n-roll photoshoot weekend.  It was AMAZING.  Full-on hair and make-up, crazy clothes and in the sexiest little hotel called the Gladstone.

Plus, I had a chance to see some of my Adventure Mastermind clients, shop, see a movie and indulge in my all time favorite naughty food, Poutine.  (In Jersey, we just call it what it is: mozzarella fries + gravy)

I’ll have photos to share with you shortly.

Big lesson here.  Many of my “clients” also become friends.  How is that?  Because I’ve consciously created my business to attract people who I love to spend time with.  Clients who energize and inspire me.

Do your clients energize and inspire you or, are you secretly saying this to yourself…

“I looove what I do, but I feel freakin’ exhausted when I’m done working with clients.”

Sound familiar?  Yeah, I’ve been there too.  It’s nothing to feel ashamed of and thankfully, there’s a fast and fun fix.

If your clients drain your energy, you may be missing an important “client identity” refinement that can make all the difference.   So much so that you’ll actually start feeling more energized after a full day of working with clients.

Watch this video and learn what I mean and how you can put this strategy into practice right now.

Action Jackson time:  In the comments below, list YOUR top ten attributes and tell me what concrete actions you’ll take as a result of watching this video.

Marie Forleo

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Lazarus

Hey Marie!

Bet I know who you went to see!!! ;) Can’t wait to see the pics!

Great friends are made when gathering around great people! You got it! :))

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Hannah Marcotti

Well hello messy!

Let’s see if I can do a quick version of my list cause kids must be picked up in a moment!

1. They are moving towards joy.
2. When I say we don’t make excuses they like that.
3. Always on time and eager, mutual exchange of energy that way.
4. They ooze gratitude and I ooze it right back.
5. They aren’t afraid to get real.
6. When we talk about how you look makes a difference with how you feel, they start showing up a little fancier.
7. They share me with their friends, they become a friend.
8. I could meet them anywhere and the energy would be the same.
9. Passion, passion, passion
10. I would miss them if they disappeared from my life.

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marie

NICE on the fast action Hannah!

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Kristin Morris

Hey Marie!
Awesome advice! Setting boundaries also helps eliminate drainage… ‘Jenny’ sounds like she’s absolutely pooped… perhaps she could be suffering from a low thyroid. I deal with one so I know what the symptoms are and definitely ‘pooped’ is #1 on the list. So, I don’t have any info on thyroid symptoms on my website, but tell ‘Jenny’ to definitely check out (google) Wilsons Thyroid Syndrome!

Love that you were in my city (Toronto) and at the Gladstone! So funny you ate poutine – it’s actually a French Canadian ultra decadent dish.

Namaste!

Luv, Kristin
the original hubster

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marie

Great suggestion Kristin! She’s coming by so I’m sure she’ll read this comment :) Poutine is also an ultra decadent New Jersey-great-when-you’ve-had-a-few-drinks-dish too.

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marie

Hi Laz! Yes, I’m super excited to share them too. Haawwt stuff.

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Imie

Dang, you should have announced you are coming to Toronto… :)

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marie

Next time Imie!

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Elsie Escobar

Loved this one!!! In terms of CONCRETE actions…I have to get MEGA clear as to those client attributes. Lately I’ve been lucky…but I do know that ‘luck’ can only go so far.

Now, I know you just answered a question, but I’m putting this out there for the whole community as well: How do you break up with a client if they appear perfect but in reality are NOT. I mean how do you know if they pay on time if they didn’t hire you in the first place?

In the past I did have energy sucks. I got money on time. They LOVED me, but the thing was they never saw that I was there to guide them to do the work ON THEIR OWN, and needed me to provide ‘joy’ if you will. I tried breaking up with them, and they got me back *sigh* (me totally weak and a pushover). The break up was final because I ended up moving cross country, so that doesn’t count ;)

Any tips would be LOVELY! ♥ Thanks you Marie!!!!

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marie

Not sure of your q Elsie. Do you want clients to do work on their own? If so, let them know that upfront. If they enjoy having someone to inspire them along, even they “know how” to do it on their own, refer to other pros you trust if you don’t want to be along for the inspiration + joy ride.

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Elsie Escobar

Yeah, I was not clear. She began to equate me working with her as the only time she felt good, open, light, relaxed and happy. She said it was because of me that all that was possible. I continually offered to her that it wasn’t me, I was facilitating for her what is possible for her to have at any moment, with or without me. She was seeing me as the guru as opposed to as a collaborator (like you spoke about in your list). I gave her tons of ways to create this inner joy, but alas she put it all on me.

I suppose you are right, perhaps she needed someone that would be willing to do that for her. I adore to watch clients get empowered and cultivate growth through their own desire, and referring her to other qualified folks may have been the best option.

Thanks for your time Marie!

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Jen

Since I am unclear of my top ten attributes (are these my qualities or my clients or both) I will get back to post but I will act immediately by stopping my procrastination BS and stopping trying to stay small. No FEAR! Ok fear but we are gonna blast through it ok dokey…and I will envision my best client using your fabulous technique to realize its not a help/heal the world just my corner whom I invite into it.

Thank you, thank you…I know there are some clients that are not the best for me so thank you so much for the reminder. I won’t starve and I will be able to bring my BEST to the table when working with my peeps!

Much love Marie!

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marie

Hey Jen! Describe with as much details, the qualities (attitudes, habits, actions, beliefs, etc.) of your ideal clients. It will get your juices flowing.

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Christy B

Oh my, I couldn’t be watching this at a more perfect time! Thanks for showing up in my inbox right when I needed you :)

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marie

Welcome ;)

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shanna

marie!

as always, you are comin’ across the airways with the message i needed! i so know this stuff (as a proud rhh b-schooler), but man! slipping and sliding on the clients-that-do-NOT-rock-my-world slope!

i am making a commitment to go back through b-school from START to FINISH and implement like crazy!

love you :)

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marie

SMARTY – PANTS! The B-School program is gold. And, you can go through it again with a big global group in May when we relaunch too.

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alison

hey you! so this is my top 10 readers of my new daily email. kinda different but i’m improvising!

ok here goes:

10. they have already succeeded in many areas of their life.
9. they used to leverage external chaos as a means to move forward.
8. they have created a generally peaceful life for themselves now.
7. bc of this peace, these people are feeling stuck…remember they used to leverage chaos.
6. they are truth-seekers.
5. they are ready to embark on the inward journey to discover that they have the ability within them to move forward. chaos is not a prerequisite anymore!
4. they are ready to take my emails and forward them to like-minded souls.
3. they read the emails and then take action because of the emails.
2. they comment on my posts on my wall, on my blog, on my youtube channel.
1. they accept my sharing with an open heart and trust me.

sweet! what a fun lil exercise. great to see you last week!

now i gotta get back to work :D

xo
alison

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marie

NICE work Alison and great to see you too!

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Meredith

Amen, sister!!! I LOVE this video. It’s quite possibly my favorite one so far, and I love them all. REALLY important advice delivered here. Thank you so much. (And you are totally rocking the bun look! Love it!)

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Karie Hill

1. Committed to results. No excuses!
2. Loves life and all that it has to offer
3. Is really ready to do the work. No bs
4. Likes to drink wine
5. Good lookin’
6. Fun, Fun, Fun!
7. Proactive. No victims, please.
8. Ready to invest $$ in herself
9. Punctual
10. Honest and really good to other people

Action step: I’m going to make sure that my new website (coming at the end of May) and newsletters attract the kind of people that I want to work with.

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marie

Nice on taking action Karie!! Especially like #4, 7, 10.

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Christine

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS video! sooo needed it as I am taking on more 1-1 clients I realized how important this is. Since I was just starting off I just wanted clients but now I realize that I deserve to work with clients that energize me too because then I can better serve them :)

My intention is to work with clients that have the following attributes:
1.Work with clients that are open minded, and are willing to think outside the box and willing to take and try my think outside the box feedback

2. my clients are super loving, grateful and are expressive about how they are benefiting from our work together

3. my clients are on time and respect starting and ending on time.

4. my clients are super pumped and excited to grow, learn, change and though scary they are fearless and ready to Take consistent action steps

5. my clients trust me and understand, love, and totally have fun with the fact that I may curse sometimes to stress a point, be vulgar, and blunt and offer outside of the box advice like connecting to their vajay jay power :)

6. my clients are supppper grateful, loving, and willing to listen hear and take recommendations with ease and with gratitude

7. my clients are willing to go the extra mile and come up with creative ways on their own to continue expanding our work together and grow and learn

8. my clients are super fun, creative, passionate, spicy and LOVE LOVE LOVE new things and are EAGER to learn and take action now.

9. my clients are sooo sweet and care about how they affect the people around them and want to do everything in their power to be the best them

10. my clients are FUN FUN FUN and are the kind of girls I would want to chill with because they got that spiritual/gangsta girl thing going on. Part spiritual/part hustler :)

xoxo My concrete action is that I will keep this list handy and look at it and feel how it feels to have alll of that and choose clients based on that :) feels better already.

THanks marie! this shit opened my eyes BIG time <3 besos

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Monica

Dear Marie,

from npw on I will double check the people I work with to be sure energy is flowing to and fro!

thanks smart girl
Món

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victoria

Hi Marie!
Firstly looking forward to see you and danielle in NYC in may woohoo to that, secondly, I started to chuckle a bit when you went through the list, because it started sounding like my new targeted clientel must be very similar to my husband! haha! Thirdly can you post these 10 in this comment thread so I can copy it and review again. Thanks! -V

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Elsa

Ummm the ideal client requirement list is brilliant Marie! Will be making mine asap!
p.s. loved the messy bun!

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marie

You better woman! And will crazy-ass-futuristic-costume-wanting-ladies be on that list?? xo

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Emma Cossey

Love your list, and it really got me thinking about my clients and what I want them to be. So here’s my list:

1) Sense of humour. Cheating there as you already said it, but it’s utterly true. Some of the best ideas come after a good giggle!
2) Have a product or service I’m genuinely excited about. If there’s no passion, there’s no point.
3) They have a product or service that THEY’RE excited about. There’s nothing more difficult than working with someone who’s a bit ‘meh’ about their whole brand.
4) Open to new approaches, ideas and technologies in order to expand their own business.
5) Always pushing forward and looking for the next challenge.
6) Tea. A cup of tea on arrival is essential. Bonus points if they have hot chocolate too.
7) Flexible in working over email, Skype and Twitter if needs be.
8) Respect that while I love my job, it doesn’t mean they don’t have to pay.
9) Willing to take a bit of constructive criticism with the praise.
10) Focused. We’ll have fun and a giggle, but I want to get results too.

p.s Poutine is a great description for cheesy, gravy chips! We need a posh word in the UK for chips with curry sauce :)

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Lisa Consiglio Ryan

okay, Marie. I really LOVE you.
My Top 10:
10. Have fun, swear, joke around, just are positive people.
9. Willing to take responsibility for their health and life overall.
8. fight their fears and turn it into empowerment.
7. don’t hesitate to pay me for my services~pay on time and with delight.
6.They give me energy and vice versa. We get so excited to see each other and can’t stop talking!
5.Are proactive and take my advice, recommendations to heart and really try to implement, and go forward.
4. They care about others and the world around them. Really have a connection globally. (“we are all in this together” feeling)
3.Trust me and the process of my health coaching. I will not steer them wrong.
2.Recommend me to their friends and loved ones and rave about how I support them.
1. Become my friend for life. I really love them and want them to be with me always during my journey.

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marie

LOVE you too Lisa!!

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Lana Bos

This was JUST what I needed. THANK YOU Jenny and Marie! ;-)

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Elisha

Great video as usual Marie, many laughs and aha’s! Love the messy hair btw!

I was just working on clarifying my ideal clients this week as I’m launching a new website/biz soon, which is in development and therefore this is perfect timing. This will definitely help distill it even more!

My ideal clients are:

1. Spiritually engaged entrepreneurs, biz owners, coaches
2. Passionate, playful and driven by their purpose
3. Interested in co-creating a new money paradigm
4. Inspired by the emerging Divine Feminine energy, whether they are men or women
5. Looking for easy steps they can implement now to cultivate money consciousness on a practical, tangible level
6. Open, communicative, compassionate and welcome transparency, in business and their personal lives
7. Excited that being an entrepreneur is one of the fastest ways to initiate themselves (they love to learn and grow!)
8. Curious how saving their money can save the planet (save=rescue!)
9. Interested in a fulfilling, holistic and profitable relationship with their money/wealth
10. And…they love to have fun doing all of this!

That’s what I’ve got right now! Thanks so much for the exercise.

I’ll use this right now as we build our new website so we attract only our ideal clients from the start!

Wishing you ALL a fabulous week!

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Jill

You talkin’ tah me!?

I just ended a 3 year relationship with a client that drained me even BEFORE she walked in my door. Interestingly, I had to defend and justify reasons for the “break up” with just about everyone who knew.

“Must be nice to have so many clients that you can let them go!” and
“Things only bother you when you let them!” and
“Can you afford to let her go?!” and
“Common, was it really that bad?”

YES.

Glad I don’t have to tell you girls why I did it! Kudos for creating a list of positive attributes instead of things you DON”T want.

Today, I am going to work on my list.

Strength & Love,
Jill

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Angela Minelli

I know exactly what you mean Marie, and as soon as I saw what the vid was about I said, nope don’t have this problemo!!! My clients love me and I LOVE my clients. While I was speaking with 1 yesterday, I got an intuitive hit that she would be a friend for life and shortly after we hung up she sent me an e mail asking if she could meet me on her eastern tour of the states this summer, plus letting me know she tells everyone about me. :) Now that I get to pick and choose who I work with, vs not being able to do so in corporate, I definitely exercise my right to do so. It’s the 1 thing I am absolutely unwavering on. I like you am all about fun while getting the job done, so that’s priority #1 for me as well. Thanks for the confirmation, woot woot!

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Mia DeBolt

GREAT video, Marie. As always! Thank you for sharing!

My top 10:
10. They are givers and love to give.
9. They are happy and willing to receive.
8. They follow up and follow through!
7. They work diligently, passionately, and tenaciously on improving themselves.
6. They roll up their sleeves and get to work with a smile and passion.
5. They are trustworthy and pay on time.
4. They are driven by their passions and not their egos.
3. They are willing to share their knowledge, lessons learned, successes and failures.
2. They love to have fun and laugh.
1. They point their finger at themselves more than at others, and even then, they take personal responsibility for their actions.

Thank you, Marie! It’s great to really define our ideal clients so we can identify them and celebrate when they come around :)

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Stacey

This was SO fun! When I started I didn’t think I’d be able to come up with 10…and then I had to compel myself to stop at 10! Here it is:

1. They see working with me as an investment they make in themselves.
2. They happily invest in my highest-level programs.
3. They want to serve the world in a big way.
4. They credit their big breakthroughs to working with me and their friends are so impressed they want to work with me, too.
5. They have a great sense of humor.
6. They honor my time and theirs by showing up clear and “on purpose” for our calls.
7. They take a no-excuses approach to accomplishing their goals and dreams.
8. They are positive and solution focused.
9. They see challenges as opportunities for growth.
10. They believe happiness is a choice.

The concrete action I take will be to honor this list: I will mentally note who does and doesn’t meet this criteria and let those who don’t go with love.

Sometimes I’m aware that a prospective (or current) client is not meeting this criteria and I wonder what I could do to help. Now I’m going to think, “I help my ideal clients. I’m not helping this person because I’m not supposed to.”

Would it be too brazen to give this list to my clients??

Thanks, Marie, for this great exercise!

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marie

I think this is a great list to have somewhere on your website. Why be shy about what you want?

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Stacey

Thanks, Marie! I’m looking to have it somewhere very soon!

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Laura Roman

Love the hair, but I love the top even more:)
Marie, Marie, Marie, I swear to God girl that you have a crystal ball.
I was just saying to someone today,that I feel drained at the end of my day . Maybe it isn’t my clients, maybe it is what I do.
I need to stop being such a wimp and move out of therapy and into coaching
But how??? More to follow.
Love you,
Laura

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marie

Ha ha! I’ve been told that before Laura :) My intuition is one of my biggest business assets so I use it as much as I can. SUGGESTION: stop promoting therapy and start promoting your coaching. All new clients must be coaching clients. Phase out the therapy clients. That will handle it. Love you too woman!

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Stephanie

Thank you Marie! This is big stuff! I really believe the wrong clients can make life seem so bleak. Here is my attribute list:
1 Take action, ultra competent types
2 Brave
3 Emotionally generous
4 A healthy relationship with money
5 Healthy boundaries (no Sunday afternoon calls)
6 Open-minded/realizes that change requires doing something different
7. Positive outlook (I really struggle with Negative Nellies)
8. Pays happily and on time
9. Is not needy, nor needs me to hold her hand when she goes to the bathroom (though I’m happy to hold her hand all other times!)
10. Is a “connector” and happily spreads the word about how fantastic I am!

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Daniela Martinez

Hi Marie! I’m following you from Barcelona, Spain (but I’m from Mexico)! I bought your book in Amazon and I loved it! I have shared it with many friends, so they can feel as free and happy as I felt after reading it. After some years, I am coming back to you because I’m having the idea of running my own business some day, but I just don’t know how to star. I don’t even have the idea yet!! I know that I don’t want to continue on research (I´m doing a PhD right now) and that I have to ask myself what do I want to do in life, but I feel like trapped between information (news and ideas for a business) and people, people that don’t have the same interests than me and do not understand me. This “feeling lonely” doesn’t let me release my full potential. The problem is that this people are my friends or coworkers. Fortunately, I have an amazing boyfriend that understands me and supports me and my dad says that having one person to support us is more than we can ask for.

Anyway, I don’t want to still your time. I would like just to hear your advice, because I really believe in your work and in your words, since they helped me so much a few years ago.

Sincerely,
Daniela

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marie

Hi Daniela! Pay attention to what you love to do, invest fully in your life now (the “this is it” practice from the book!) and ask for guidance from whatever higher power you believe in . . .God, Goddess, The Universe.

With all due respect to your dad, you can have a lot more than one person who supports and understands you. Love your boyfriend, and, find some more creative, pro-active, entrepreneurial folks to hang with.
xo
M

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Djanira

Hi Daniela

I also live in Barcelona!

I have my own business and would be happy to meet up for a chat if that would help you. Email me djanira(at)djaniracortesao.com

Djanira

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susan kuhn

Very useful and very fun to watch. And just the right tonic after a disappointing non-meeting with a potential client…lovely woman, just not my type…whom I had a fleeting intuition would cancel, and indeed she did.

Here’s my list.

10. We have established a relationship through social media, networking, my blog, etc.; we are already on the same page.
9. They have an identified goal they want my help to achieve.
8. They are oriented toward making money.
7. They know that each new step brings fear and they understand the importance of recognizing that and strategizing around it.
6. They are giving, like people, and part of a relationship ecology that overlaps my own.
5. They recommend me to others, promote me via their networks when asked or when an area comes up — they are connectors.
4. They trust their advisers and know how to establish a productive relationship with them.
3. They master the basic container of the relationship — being on time and paying promptly, knowing that those basics are a foundation, and seek to take the relationship beyond that.
2. They are creative and forward looking, ready to act to move forward.
1. They genuinely have fun when they work, so we have fun together creating exponential results.

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Rebecca Tervo

Sigh…it would be wonderful if we all learned this lesson before we started in business! At the beginning, I think I took on any client who said they needed me! And, I compromised my value, my time, and my sanity! Thank goodness I realized the effects these clients were having on me and my business…and I fired them.

Since then, I can really say that I enjoy working with all the people who come into my business. I don’t know if it’s because I got clear on who I wanted to attract to me? (I think that’s partly the case) Or because I now have a better understanding of what people are looking for and how serious they are when they ask about my services (and I don’t mind turning them away or suggesting an option that’s probably more what they’re looking for).

It seems counterintuitive to let clients go, but after I let a particular client go who had been draining my energy for about TWO years…some colleagues commented on the spring in my step, the smile on my face, and the optimistic energy surrounding me! Now, that was a powerful lesson to learn!

So, I may not have a top 10 list right now, but there are definitely a few biggies that are always on my mind about who my ideal client is:

1. They are action takers for the good of their business. (in other words, I’m not consistently making the same suggestion over and over again)
2. They value my input and look at me as a trusted advisor.
3. They are willing to do the work involved in maintaining a better system for their finances.
4. They are willing to pay for my services because of how valuable they are.

Those are the main things I focus on now. And, apparently it’s working:)

Thanks for the great post, Marie:)

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Rachel Rofe

I LOVE this idea!

I just made a video talking about how I attracted my dream man with this type of list, even though people told me I was “delusional”… so I LOVE making a dream client list too!

Here’s the video I made:

http://rachelrofe.com/video-11-they-told-me-i-was-in-the-land-of-make-believe-look-whos-laughing-now

And here’s my list!

1. They are MASSIVE action takers, focused, and get stuff done!

2. They have a “yes” attitude and are OK with making changes in the middle of something, as more information becomes available…

3. They are happy to pay on time and with delight. I don’t need to convince them of my value – they just GET it.

4. They respect my time and energy. They’re not counting every minute we spend together and know I always more than take care of everyone in the end…

5. They’re grateful for the time I spend with them and openly tell me how much I’m helping them. I get re-inspired to help more every time we talk.

6. They proactively tell other people about me and are ecstatic to do so

7. We work together as a collaboration so we can make masterpieces together… I’m not treated as the “guru”, but an experienced partner…

8. They must have a product or idea that will genuinely add value to the world

9. They don’t have their entire lives based on ME (ie my results I give them aren’t going to make or break them – that is too much pressure!)

10. Open, communicative, compassionate, positive minded and welcome transparency

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Suset

Ooof. I love playing this game. Oddly, because I spent 8 years working with yucky clients and bosses, I have made a point of positioning myself to not do that anymore. Here are my top ten attributes. The order changes depending on the day of the week but their value to my life remains the same. As a side note, these are attributes I seek in my clients but also in the people in my world more generally.

1.They love my irreverence, and respect, in fact cherish, my brutal honesty
2.They are hilarious, and love to share a good laugh
3.They know the value of my service and love paying me, often, and in copious amounts (sometimes accompanied with chocolate, flowers and/or fried pickles).
4.They are deep and thoughtful about the world around them, and considerate of others.
5.They are my biggest evangelists
6.They shower me with positive feedback, and know the value of positive work dynamics and interactions.
7.Have a strong sense of self but are open, in fact welcome and embrace, growth
8.They are proactive listeners
9.They are solution oriented not problem oriented.
10.They are of a whimsical and silly nature but very serious about their work

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Lynn

OMG, Suset! I couldn’t have written a more spot-on list for my own perfect clients than you just did. Kinda freaky, really – are you in my head? (I think I hear the theme song to The Twilight Zone playing…)

We should work together – oh, wait, we are! Can’t wait! :–)

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Stephanie McCullough

Dear Marie,

This is so helpful, and the timing is perfect! As I start up my new business everyone asks the question, “Who is your ideal client?” In my industry, the answer is usually something like, “baby boomers with at least $200,000 in their 401(k)”, or “dentists within 10 miles of my office.” That never felt right to me. I’d like to help everyone, but know that’s unrealistic. This is a MUCH better way to look at it. So here’s my list!

Top Ten Client Attributes

10. They who are willing to outsource, to recognize when they need advice and can’t or don’t want to do it on their own. No DIY’ers.

9. They follow my advice! They appreciate it, and respect my time and energy.

8. They ask good, challenging questions, but they do not get caught up in media hype.

7. They give real feedback so I don’t have to guess if I’m meeting their expectations.

6. They are willing to share their personal details, hopes and dreams, which are crucial to coming up with a financial plan.

5. They focus on the big goals, not comparative performance. Their objective is not to “beat the market” but to build wealth to live a better life.

4. They know that money is a means, not an end.

3. They are optimistic, have a positive viewpoint.

2. They are fun to be with.

1. They truly care about other people.

Thanks!

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Melody Granger

My Top 10 Attributes

1. Woman who has been through private or group coaching or mentoring.
2. Action Taker!
3. Beyond Ready to Let Go.
4. Wants to lift her self-esteem by rocking out her house ;-)
5. Wants to keep her home feeling fabulous!
6. Isn’t full of excuses.
7. Enjoys joking, laughter, and sarcasm while getting shit done!
8. Wants change.
9. Pays ahead of time;-) Happily & without question.
10. Tells others how easy I am to work with…so easy, that they are shocked when they see how much they accomplished in so little time! Cuz it didn’t feel like work.

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Juliette

Unbelievable video, great post! Thank you so much Marie, will read all of the comments here. My ideal clients
1. understand that becoming aware of something at the right time will open new opportunities.
2. love humor and are grateful.
3. will take risks and are willing to try something new.
4. are generous and do not mind spending money on stuff and services they love.
5. my clients have no problem being themselves (or wanting to find their true purpose).
6. will recommend me without a doubt.
7. are on time and are easy to communicate with.
8. Working together gives both sides energy and perspective.
9. take action and responsibility
10. have a good sense for flow and are patient when patience is needed.

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Catherine Caine

Hey Marie!

I talk about this a LOT, and I have my list. I recently had to let some clients go because I knew that they weren’t QUITE right… and oh man oh man is that painful.

I wrote about it, while crying: http://www.cashandjoy.com/the-alchemist/

But it’s the next day now, and already I can feel the weight off my shoulders. Oh so ready to attract more 10/10s, instead of the 7/10s. (The 7/10s are amazing, but one-on-one work is not for them.)

I’m creating products, and I think they would serve my not-quite-right people well. But all of my precious one-on-one fantabulousness is being jealously hoarded and given with abundance to the BESTEST peeps only.

Hoorah!
Catherine

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Rebekah Rotstein

Thanks for sharing Marie. Client attraction is so important! I think that’s one of the biggest downfalls for new business owners – not outlining who they want to attract. So glad you pointed this out as it was a huge breakthrough for me in recent years. All about setting the boundaries!

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Denise

Hi Marie….lovin the hair and the blouse…sweet :)
Great q & a today, and I’m really appreciating that the client attributes you listed (as well as your readers) had mostly to do with a person’s “beingness” ….

I don’t have any clients, YET, however that will be changing soon! I will be coming up north from the beautiful beaches of 30-A, (NW FL) to attend Selling Your Soul, with you and Danielle. I’m sooo excited and scared shitless….so let the fun begin!!

Big love, denise

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Stephanie Watanabe

Ooooh, a big juicy one this week Marie – niiice!! Will definitely be doing this exercise…brilliant! Can’t wait to see the photos – yay! Missin’ you mama and hope to see you soon.
xo

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Vienda

Marie, thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom so generously!

I’m not quite at the point of having clients yet, but preparation is such a valuable key so here is a current client attribute list.

- They are coming from a positive and hopeful place where they are excited about the future.
- They are willing to open up and dig deep inside with me to guide them to find the answers of the questions they seek.
- They are willing to try new things and open to new ideas.
- They are ready to embark on journey within themselves.
- They appreciate honesty and lovingly take steps towards what they want.
- They pay on time and with pleasure.
- They appreciate my work with them, provide me with lots of positive feedback and recommend me to others.
- They are fun and interesting to work with.
- We both walk away from a session feeling renewed, energised and full of joy.
- They are attentive to detail like being on time and finishing on time.

Thank you! x

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Prada Madonna

More food for thought on this Tuesday. Thanks Marie. Love your hair today by the way!

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Theresa Reed | The Tarot Lady

This is great food for thought – and the hair looks pretty fly, btw.

Here are my ten:

1. They value my time as much as I do. They show up on time and don’t try to weasel more time than what is allotted.
2. They feel as much gratitude for my services as I do for their business.
3. They come into my office with an open mind; no arms crossed over the heart.
4. They never balk at my rates.
5. They don’t see themselves as a victim of life. They are actively engaged in creating the life they want.
6. They don’t give their power over to me – they realize that they are responsible for their lives.
7. They are positive and fun loving – and actually enjoy working with me. At times it is more like play than work.
8. They appreciate my weird quirks and find them charming.
9. Honesty and integrity are important values to them.
10. They enthusiastically and constantly refer me to others.

Thankfully, most of my clients fit that bill. Yay!

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Rachel Luna

Hi Marie,
As usual, fabulous video! So first let me tell you that I love your work and hope to one day have a chance to learn from and work with you. Sadly, my husband and I are stationed Japan and will not be in NYC in time for your Sell your Soul Event, or else I’d have tickets like yesterday!

Quick question: Will you be offering any kind of online training for those of us who can’t attend your live events? Or have you thought about doing a live stream of your event?

Onto my list which I will be posting on my website and in my welcome video -

My ideal clients:

1. Are excited and determined to move forward.
2. Take consistent action.
3. Respect our time together; we start on time, we end on time.
4. Expect and appreciate my honest feedback and know that I want only the very best for them.
5. Cheerfully pay on time and recognize that my fees are an investment in themselves.
6. Are optimistic and can see the brighter side of life, even when faced with minor setbacks.
7. Are open minded individuals who recognize that there is truth in manifestation and the law of attraction.
8. Have a great sense of humor and can enjoy jokes here and there during our journey together.
9. Won’t be offended if I call them out on slacking or needing to pick up the slack because they know I’m coming from a place of love and support.
10. Are ready for success.

Thanks again Marie for being such an inspiration.

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Kalia

Good stuff!

here’s my top 10

1- Is eager to explore the upside- even in a seemingly crappy situation
2- Shows up on time and ready to go!
3- Is more than willing to pay my fees- and pays me on time
4- Is super curious about living this life
5- Is ready to take responsibility for her own level of health, energy and confidence
6- Loves to laugh, or cry- open to a full range of emotions
7- Able and willing to express gratitude, and shares her appreciation of our work together.
8- Wants to get it done- is OVER having excuses for why she can’t …
9- Eagerly shares me with her networks, without me asking her to.
10- Walks out the door ready to implement- and then actually DOES implement, and get amazing results

ps- got the messy bun working right now- love it!

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Rachel Luna

Kalia, I LOVE 8,9, and 10. I may have to borrow these ideas for my list too ;-)

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Nathalie

Top 10 client attributes:

1. Potential lifelong friends!
2. Want to be factors of change
3. Not afraid of success or ready to let go of their fears of success
4. Undertakers with a vision
5. Appreciative for the support, and sense of relaxation I provide them with
6. Amazing sense of integrity
7. Authentic
8. Commited to explore media aspects of their brand
9. Curious and open-minded
10. Passionate, reservoirs of creativity

I’m lauching my website and program offers at the end of May. My specialty is to offer coaching sessions with media support -photography, EPKs and other video work, podcasts -. Any suggestions on how best to integrate the two types of offers?
Love what you do Marie! You keep me going!

Love,
Nathalie

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Kimberly

Hi Marie-
Also have to say that your blouse is BEAUTIFUL. Cream really works for you.

I love this because it pushes me from accepting adequate clients to going for ideal clients.

1. Recognize that what I am offering them is different than what they could get elsewhere and attributes results they are getting to the work we are doing.
2. Has a desire to change the world either through service or through their own life.
3. Is willing to do the work outside of our work together to make our work together as effective as possible.
4. Open to adventure and transformation.
5. Is passionate and lives from her heart (or at least wants to learn how)
6. Recognize the value in what I am offering and therefore willingly pays because recognizes that I am a bargain.
7. Write unsolicited testimonials and recommendations.
8. Are comfortable with silence, and welcome the intuitive insights that I have even if they were not what was expected or necessarily easy to hear.
9. Have a bent towards activism and rabble rousing.
10. Are deeply kind and can roll with the punches.

Thanks for this! I love your prompts.
XO Kimberly

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alexandra

I went to town on this one! thanks for the post :)
1. They want my help with their style and image. They appreciate my honesty. They recognize that they cannot do it all alone. They are clear about what they want to accomplish with me.
1.5 They return phone calls propmtly. They respect my time. They show up ready to go with comfortable shoes, belly full, present for the work. They don’t take long phone calls or send emails during our sessions unless it is an emergency.
2. They don’t take themselves too seriously-like a good laugh
3. They pay ahead of time and see my service as priceless
4. They are attentive to time by being on time and sensitive to ending on time
5. They are happy to promote me to their close friends-They are proud of working with me
6. They want to work with me as a partner and don’t see me as a glorified messenger
7. They see the value to their life of the right image by working with a fashion stylist
8. They are invested in making themself look better. Not looking for me to do ALL of the heavy lifting. When I make suggestions of other style professionals they jump to make those other appointments.
9. They are successful enough to feel they deserve to work with me (I’m a luxury service)
10. They are honest and not cheap-see the value in quality
11. They are excited to work with me and see that I have knowledge and wisdom in this area
12. They want to learn about their body and what looks good on them and why
13. They realize that the work doesn’t happen overnight and an ongoing business relationship is often needed. They’re not looking for a ‘one off’.

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Ginny

Hey Marie,

This was fantastic – it gave me a better understanding of how to approach the “ideal client” question – I realise I have been trying to come up with who I think would want my stuff, rather than who I want to work with! Also, I realise that the list would equally and firstly apply to me – so given me some things to work on myself!

Here is my list (in no particular order):
1. Trust in and value intuition and connection
2. Have great energy, a generous spirit and are doing interesting things in the world
3. Have impeccable integrity
4. Pay on time and with pleasure
5. They love and value my work highly and are moved by it – and I feel the same about their work
6. They are fun and interesting to be around
7. Positive, happy and passionate – want to make a positive contribution to the world
8. Open to learning new things and to new experiences
9. Love making money and celebrate their successes and acheivements with others
10. Know that it’s not just about the money, the relationship is the fun part and what gives them joy.

Thanks Marie (and Love the Bun, I’m all about the messy hair!)

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Maria Ross

Lovin’ it, Marie! I tell my branding clients this all the time and they look at me like I have two heads. I even wrote about this in my book. If you are so busy servicing less than ideal clients or customers, then you will have no time to accept work from those who you WANT to work with. Simple as that!

This might be hard for some business owners to do initially (I’m gonna say no to the cash?! Hells no…) but I found that once you empower yourself to turn down the wrong clients (and it’s HARD), Karma shines down on you and delivers the right ones and – hey, guess what? You have availability for them since you didn’t pledge yourself to Mr. Wrong. I know this was true for me. Sometimes you gotta give up short-term gain to open yourself up to long term bliss.

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Thea

Wow – I soooo needed to hear this! Thanks :-)

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Merryn Ironmonger

I haven’t thought up my list yet (I don’t have one-on-one clients though – just hungry healthy buyers!) but I wanted to say that for years my husband has written ‘with pleasure’ whenever he writes a cheque, and I have the habit now too – you can’t help but smile passing your money (energy) forward!

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Djanira

Hi Marie

Thanks so much for this video. I’d say its your best so far and dead on with the intuitive hit. :)

My 10 client attributes

1. my clients want to do good in the world by helping others
2. my clients are passionate about their businesses
3. my clients are female and work for themselves providing service that improves lives
4. my clients respect me, they are on time and pay gladly
5. my clients are positive, they love life and they are fun to be around. We can have a laugh together
6. my clients look after themselves and make time for themselves
7. my clients see the value of investing money in themselves and their business
8. my clients take action on the recommendations I give them
9. my clients recommend me/ rave about me to their friends, they become a friend.
10. my clients see challenges as opportunities for growth.

My action is to print this out and use it as a checklist when assessing new mentoring clients to see if we’d be a good fit.

AND, now this is the scary part which is how I know its important. I will post in on my website and encourage my clients to come up with their own lists.

Thanks so much for all you do Marie, you are a huge inspiration!

Djanira xx

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Grace Quantock

Love the video and great messy bun! When the video began I thought “Ohh lovely hair” :-) Thank you for explaining and defining the importance of this so clearly. My top 10 attributes are:
1. People who want to heal
2. Open to new ideas, pushing boundaries.
3. Willing to re-frame the problem
4. Willing to let go of the pain they are holding on to
5. Happy and able to pay – if they can’t pay and really need it we can work something out.
6. Embracing change – including all the scary, uncomfortable and messy bits
7. Knowing there is no magic cure and not asking me to give one
8. But aware that this does not mean no miracles, you can create your own miracles
9. Willing to create own healing journey and coming for guidance, not a road map
10. Taking responsibility for their own wellness and happiness meaning they have the potential to create so much good.
Wishing you all good things,
Grace Quantock Harrison xx

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Amy

I am in the natural health world. Here is my list in no particular order…
My optimal clients…
They know that their health depends upon following the program perfectly.
They have no issues with the cost of the program.
They are committed to improving their health.
They want to feel extraordinarily well with a supreme sense of well being.
They tell everyone they know how great they feel being on Dr. Amy’s FLT program.
They are grateful and appreciative of my time and the program.
They are on time for appointments.
They complete their “homework” each week.
They are engaged with me and ask questions.
They want to continue working with me beyond the length of the initial program.

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Cathy Presland

My main one is action-takers – that wraps up so much else though about commitment, desire, decisions, willing to challenge, willing to stretch and learn… and of course optimism – there is nothing so inspiring as being around people who make you feel great!

Cathy

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Mishel

OMGoddess Marie! I would be your PERFECT Client! ;)

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Kaori

Hi, Marie. I have never thought of this topic. Thank you for pointing out this important point.

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Moxie Jane

I LOVE LOVE LOVE! THIS!

Especially the fun DL Top Ten list style. And the Oh bleeep cut out. Brilliant.
Classic Marie, mo love woman!

I always have a jumble of ideas in ma brain about my ideal clients and feel proud to share the fact that I am choosy about em to other ‘prenuers. But now its time to refine, detail, and intentionally write a top ten list for ’11 effective TODAY!

And I love how much fun I will have doing it, all inspired after this video. Thanks for sharing The Information in the most kick ass, zexy, wildstyle ways!

xxx
Moxie

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Tricia Hurtubise

Great stuff!

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Tracy

Loved this Marie!!! Thank you for ALWAYS motivating my and lifting my spirits. I can feel your energy every time.

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Kristin

Totally love this video. The thing I love the most about you is how real you are, and how everything you do, and create totally has your personality all over it.

I’m going to make my own list now…..
Awesome information.
thanks so much for sharing!

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Heather

Here’s mine:
1. Sense of humor.
2. No Debbie Downers!
3. Action takers.
4. Engage in some sort of physical activity – no couch potatoes!
5. Willing to try new things/get out of their comfort zone.
6. Open and honest.
7. Not flaky – show up on time.
8. Passionate about their career.
9. Passionate about their family and loved ones.
10. Have a competitive edge.

That was fun!

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Ane Axford

Marie,

Your clothes are SO CUTE! I have loved your ensembles in all the vids recently. The messy bun is super casual chic, gorgeous without even trying ;) Ok, girly stuff aside.

Thanks for putting this out there. I think that as practitioners starting out in human services, we feel the suffering that exists and often feel like we have to fix everyone to alleviate that suffering. I definitely used to get satisfaction from feeling like someone NEEDED me and that I was making them feel better…but it was DRAINING and not sustainable. Now, I LOVE my clients and love collaborating with them. I had no idea that it was not only possible, but necessary, to only work with people I looked forward to talking to and being with.

I think the need to fix others comes from feeling like there is a part of you that needs to be fixed. It’s an indirect route to express love to that part of your self that feels neglected. It’s tiring! Directly wanting every part of me allowed me to also want my clients.

In regards to this topic, I have always loved this quick article called “In the Service of Life”: http://www.rachelremen.com/service.html

It distinguishes serving from helping, such a good reminder!

My top 10 client attributes:

1. Want to GO BIG!
2. Are focused on expansion of self and place that as a priority over fear.
3. Ok being honest about where they are now.
4. Ok not knowing and exploring the unknown parts of themselves, in fact they get excited about it!
5. Want to experiment with their value by taking scary risks to share their self.
6. Want to collaborate, to own their sensitivity powerfully and share it more.
7. Take charge of their experience of life without blame or shame.
8. Excitedly share revelations, ideas, and inspiration with me.
9. Are willing to be with their sadness, anger, frustration, and all emotions.
10. Decide to see themselves as just right.

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Stacie Frazier

Hi there! I found you via Christa Meola’s blog and am loving what I see here! So much encouragement, empowerment and inspiration to succeed! I love it!

I too struggle with the occasional draining client. I have found the most high-maintenance clients are usually the ones who ask for discounts and want to change up my packages and offerings, so I put a stop to that immediately by saying no to these requests. They will usually book anyway, but they then realize everything is under my terms – that I run the show, so to speak – so I am able to keep them under better control then. Honestly, it’s difficult to provide them with a fabulous experience if they can’t give themselves to me this way. So we all end up winning in the end.

I love your top ten list and share many of those traits that I look for in a client. Can’t wait to read all of the comments! So many words of wisdom here! Thanks Marie!

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Catherine

Loved this video . (as usual) Messy bun and damask top look great. Here, It’s my whole hair which looks trendily bed hair messy, albeit is it because my hair curls or because of my inner chic Parisienne ? LOL!

Stacie, your photos are gorgeous!

Ok, just jotted down the 1st draft of my list, in no particular order

My ideal client
1 – has an individual sense of Style heading towards extravagantly gorgeous.
2 – never has enough jewelry and is wealthy enough to get everything they want
3 – wanna look and feel fabulous
4 – is enthusiasticabout my creations and an advocate
5 – is fun to be around
6- is well connected and recommends me proactively and wthout reservation to their friends, Journalists and celebrity connections
7 – does not take her/his self seriously and has a great sense of humour
8 – does not need anyone else to take their own decision
9 – is a trendsetter
10 – praises and loves me and my creations

I enjoyed working on thsi list
Merci Marie
x
Catherine

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Sara

Just LOVE your videos and always pick up great tips!!!

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Carrie Southern

oooh gosh, if I had only done this years ago when I first started out with my business! This level of clarity is golden.
My top 10 are:
1. Women who imagine more for themselves, shamelessly!
2. Value our work together and value paying me.
3. Are ready to do the work no matter how hard! They aren’t looking for someone else to fix them or that quick fix.
4. Are excited to be alive
5.Handle themselves with care
6.Have fortitude. They don’t give up – they keep looking for a way over the wall
7.Believe in accessing that inner power that endures all
8.Are people I love spending time with
9.They yearn to live purposefully and have fun doing it!
10.Will risk it all to try for what they believe in

My action: will be to accept that a particular client is not the right client for me and to let her go in the spirit of freeing her to find the coach that is better suited.

xo Carrie

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Catherine

Oops, forgot to say what action I will take.
I will be myself and hopefully be surrounded by individuals who complete and inspire me.
x
Catherine

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Alexandra

You’re hilarious & flippin’ *AWESOME*!
Dig the video and dig you!! Thanks for sharing your awesomeness!!
XoXoXo

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Kaori

O.K. I took some time to think about the 10 conditions for my clients.
1. Those who want to do something to change their daily lives but do not know how or want to try something different.
2. Those who believe they deserve better lives and are ready to change something in their lives.
3. Those who decided to control their lives intead of to let them controlled by somebody else.
4. Those who follow somebody’s advice after taking it as their own.
5. Those who like to go out.
6. Those who are forthright, and appreciate honesty and forthrightness in my communication manner.
7. Those who are willing to pay for services and/or products they appreciate.
8. Those who are not engaged in intentionally intimidating others in any form and willing to connect themselves with others in positive manners.
9. Those who are willing to express their opinions by actions.
10. There is a time of stability and there is a time of change. Those who believe their lives can be improved, whatever the time is, and believe collective energy can change the stabilized time.

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Marie Hagberg

Thank’s for all your inspiring e-mails, videos etcetera Marie!
A couple of years ago, you had a different list where you also listed who you don’t want as clients.
It was when you had one of your first “happy and hot”-classes. I’ve searching for the list but can’t find it. Do you still have it somewhere?

Best regards,

Marie from Sweden (dating consultant)

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Laura Hagan

Thank you for this!! Such impeccable timing! I’ve really been struggling with getting the goodies and saying “thanks but no thanks” to the not-so-hot ones. Such great content as always, Marie! Love ya’s!
~Laura

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DivinePainter

This was a great video… really helped put a few things in perspective for me. I am an artist and work for days, sometimes weeks, in my client’s homes installing custom paint finishes. The work is physically, emotionally and spiritually demanding. Plus, I am in their “space” the entire time. Talk about vulnerable! I am getting to work right this very minute making that list… and checking it twice. Thanks for putting this out there! You’re awesome!

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DivineYoganista

Hi Marie!

I love your videos but often it’s a challenge for me to apply this knowledge to my business which is a retail & web store and not a service business. Any tips?

Bisoux,

DivineYoganista

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Marie Overfors

Fun and fabulous video, Marie! You’ve just given me extra *ZING* for my day and reinforced the gorgeousness of humor. ;-) Oh, love the messy bun, too.

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Sable

Kick the tires and light the fires, pobrlem officially solved!

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Natalie

Hi Marie-

I just discovered your videos on youtube yesterday and I can’t get enough!! I love the energy and zany attitude you have and can’t wait to watch more. I was having this issue as well so I did what you recommended and thought I would post them here as well.

1. They know that any criticism or feedback that is given about their project is coming from a place of expertise and a true wanting to help them.
2. They are driven, motivated and passionate about getting their project out there and want to share it with the world.
3. They pay on time and don’t have complaints about what I charge.
4. They are always willing to refer me to another author, entrepreneur or anyone who is interested in my industry.
5. They are never late for appointments and meet deadlines regarding returning chapters with their comments.
6. They are aware of how valuable my time is and are not willing to waste it.
7. They are people who make decisions about their projects and will not change their minds or go back on their word.
8. They realize that these projects do take time and don’t have outrageous expectations in regards to deadlines.
9. They are people of action not excuses.
10. They are fun, positive, grateful, and a pleasure to work with.

Thanks again for all the great advice and can’t to watch more of your videos in the future!
Natalie

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Mario

Wish I would have seen this like two years ago. At this point I think I need to start on a clean slate.

Reply

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