Get out of Your Own Way — How to Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind for Success

I’ve got an important question for you today.

Do you have a fear of success? Even if you don’t think so, stick with me for a minute.

Do you ever feel ready to take it to the next level, and yet sometimes find yourself behaving in ways that directly conflict with what you say you want?

Maybe you dream of financial freedom and running a small business that will help you get there, but when it comes time to start, you find yourself frozen in action.

Or maybe you dream of having the energy and confidence that comes from taking better care of your body, and yet you still eat crap food and never make time to work out.

The outer conditions of a person’s life will always reflect their inner beliefs. - James Allen Click To Tweet

If you suspect a limiting belief may be holding you back, pay close attention.

Because your beliefs drive your behavior.

It doesn’t matter how much you say you want it, if you believe somewhere deep inside that success equals some kind of pain (loss of freedom, loss of time with your family, loss of love, rejection, embarrassment, vulnerability, or shame) you will NOT let yourself do what it takes to succeed.

The great news is I’ve got your fix.

You can actually reprogram your brain to embrace success. My brilliant friend Dr. Cathy Collautt calls it, “getting your subconscious on board” with your conscious goals.

How to Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind for Success

Scientists believe that only about 3% of your brain’s processing power goes toward your conscious mind — the thoughts, ideas, and decisions you make every day.

The other 97% is used for subconscious and automatic functions, like digesting food and breathing. Your habits and beliefs also fall under that 97%, which means your subconscious is pretty freakin’ powerful.

In other words, you could have the most well intentioned conscious thoughts and ideas — but if your subconscious isn’t on board, then you’ve got a problem.

Enter, Dr. Cathy Collaut, a metaphysician and manifesting consultant who helps people — like me! — create powerful lasting change in their lives. 

In the MarieTV and blog post below, you’ll learn Dr. Cathy’s five-step process for reprogramming your subconscious mind so that your conscious goals are fully aligned with your deeply held beliefs.

Trust me, this is life changing work. You don’t want to miss this.

View Transcript

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

Listen Now

DIVE DEEPER: Have you ever experienced a setback or failure and had a tough time regaining your confidence? Dr. Cathy Collautt shares four steps to overcome setbacks in a healthy and soul-honoring way.

Long term, your beliefs determine your destiny. If you keep longing for something, but fear or overwhelm keep holding you back, pay attention to that. Because nine times out of ten, that’s a subconscious belief holding you back from reaching your conscious goal.

Stop waiting to find the courage to unleash your special gift into the world. Take action now — and start by using Dr. Cathy Coullat’s five-step process, listed below.

Here are five simple steps to reprogram your subconscious mind for success.

1. Listen to the Wisdom in Your Resistance

Notice some resistance in your subconscious? Instead of blaming it for ruining your life, be humble instead.

Don’t assume you know why you’re resisting. Trust that the resistance in your subconscious has wisdom to share with you, and be willing to listen to it.

2. Interview Your Subconscious

Next, you want to get specific details about what your fear is telling you. Get curious, and ask your subconscious for more information.

  • What are you afraid of exactly? Success itself isn’t exactly terrifying — it’s kind of awesome. So what are you associating with it that you want to resist? Is it a lack of freedom, busyness, responsibility, expectations, exposure, or something else?
  • What is your subconscious trying to protect? Are there things in your life that you value that are threatened by the changes success would bring? Maybe you’re afraid to sacrifice time with your family, self-care, fun, travel, or creativity.

Get quiet, and listen to what that inner voice is telling you. Let it make its case. There’s priceless wisdom in your fear. It’s reminding you what matters most to you and what you truly want.

3. Promise to Make It Work

Now that you know what matters most, commit to looking out for it.

Let your subconscious know you got the message by promising it that you’ll make it work. Promise you won’t go after any version of success that means you’ll lose what matters to you. You’ll only go for it in a way that’ll feel right for you and stay in alignment with your values. 

This step is magical, because it makes your fears a non-issue.

Those things you’re afraid of? They’re not inevitable. You can intentionally remove them from the equation.

Making this promise lets your subconscious mind embrace your dreams and create space for you to pursue them. The promise means you’ve listened to your inner wisdom and you’re honoring what’s truly important to you, so you can let go of the fears that are holding you back.

4. Gather Positive Case Studies

Your subconscious probably has a lot of examples of all the negative things you associate with success — people who are overworked and unhappy.

Counteract those negative thoughts by dousing your subconscious in the opposite. Find positive examples of people who’ve found freedom, joy, and expansion in success. These can be anyone — figures in history, someone you know personally, or people you don’t know.

The more positive stories you can tell your subconscious mind about success, the more you’ll believe a positive outcome is possible. These examples create and reinforce a positive association with success, so your automatic reaction is no longer to fear it.

5. Remind Your Mind

The real work of reprogramming your subconscious mind is ongoing repetition.

You have to embed your new beliefs into your subconscious. Remember, we’re talking about 97% of your brain. That’s a lot of brain power propel you toward your goals.

Folks into manifesting generally call these new belief repetitions “affirmations,” but Dr. Cathy says to think of it more like a reminder. You don’t need to convince your subconscious of these positive notions; you just have to remind it of their validity.

Give yourself affirmations or mantras to remind your subconscious of the promise you’ve made and positive examples you’ve found.

Here are a few you can borrow — four of my favorite mantras for overcoming challenges and moving forward through fear:

  • “Everything is figureoutable.”
  • “Life happens FOR me, not TO me.”
  • “Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.”
  • “Everything you dream of exists in the growth zone.”

Your mantra should include whatever messages you need to remember. Maybe you need to remind it that success will help you increase your time with your family or your freedom to travel, or that you have the power to resist busyness or the pressure of other people’s expectations.

Repeat your mantra as often as it feels good to you, but especially at times when you have the most access to your subconscious mind. Some of the best times to tap into your subconscious are:

  • Right after you wake up.
  • Right before you fall asleep.
  • During meditation.
  • Right after meditating.

Upgrade Your Subconscious Programming

Your subconscious mind is a force. It has the power to stop you from dreaming big and moving forward — but all its power comes from the programming you put into it.

As you become aware of your dreams and as they change, use the steps above to continually debug, program, and reprogram your mind to keep your subconscious working in alignment with your conscious goals.

I’ve done this for years and can tell you: This stuff works.

It’s so amazing what happens when you approach yourself in this gentle way, not fighting your inner beliefs or forcing yourself on in spite of them. Instead, you use this compassionate introspection to hear your inner wisdom and move forward in alignment.

Trying to achieve your goals through sheer willpower and determination is like trying to roller skate uphill. You can do it, but it’s a tough road with a lot of backsliding.

Reprogramming your subconscious mind for success is like strapping a rocket booster onto your back — it’ll lift you to the top before you even realize where you’re headed.

Now, let’s turn this insight into action

Grab a notebook, and spend 5 to 10 minutes interviewing your subconscious to mine for inner wisdom. Write your answers to these questions:

  • What subconscious beliefs are getting in the way of your success?
  • How can you use these five steps to reprogram your mind toward success?

P.S. Dr. Cathy has a free bonus guide for you! You can access it here.

Remember — you’re brilliant. You’re powerful. You’re wise. You’re so much more than your ego and your conscious mind. When you harness the greater wisdom and insight that lives within you, you are unstoppable.

How to Be More Persuasive: 8 Tips To Influence Anyone

What could you do if you had more influence?

Whether it’s in business or your personal life, when you know how to persuade others in a genuine way, you can take your life to a whole new level.

You could get your family on board with a major move that’ll bring you all more joy.

You could recruit top-notch partners to help you start the business of your dreams.

You could launch a life-changing new product and persuade thousands to give it a try.

The ability to persuade is an invaluable skill, no matter where you want to go in life. And it’s WAY less complicated than you might think.

You don’t need fancy tactics or slimy techniques. You can influence people without sacrificing authenticity or your integrity. In fact, to authentically influence people, you just need… you.

How to Be Persuasive Without Being Slimy

For a change of pace, I’m not just going to tell you how to persuade people; I’m going to show you. (Solid copywriting advice, by the way.) In this MarieTV (and in the post after the video, if you prefer to keep reading), I show you eight specific ways one woman persuaded me to give her a scholarship to B-School — including how she strategically threatened me into action.

View Transcript

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

Listen Now

Here are the eight traits I loved about Tangela’s video.

1. Consider the Other Person

We have very specific rules for our B-School scholarship application videos, and Tangela didn’t disappoint.

Her one minute, 45 second video was packed with info and entertainment — and well under our two-minute max. She saved Team Forleo and me time! Here’s how you can take a note from Tangela:

When you’re trying to persuade someone, think about their point of view. 

How can you make their life easier? Grab their attention by focusing on what you can offer, not what you need. This’ll get you so much farther than launching straight into why they should give you what you want.

2. Exude Enthusiasm & Confidence

Genuine enthusiasm is contagious! Effective persuasion comes from truly caring about and believing in whatever you’re trying to convince the other person to do, think, buy, or believe.

I could feel Tangela’s enthusiasm through her words, expressions, and body language. It made me want to keep watching.

Confidence is similar — when you’re confident in your position, it shows. When you’re trying to persuade just for the sake of winning, selling, or being a contrarian, no one wants to hear what you have to say. But when you’re genuinely confident and enthusiastic about your ideas, products, or services, it makes people sit up and listen.

3. Be Specific & Clear

In her video, Tangela told us exactly how she wants to change the world — serious props to her for that kind of clarity.

When you want to persuade someone, you’ve got to show them you’ve taken the time to really think things through. Making stuff up on the spot makes you look untrustworthy. On the other hand, serious preparation shows that you respect the other person’s time, and that you know what you want.

4. Give a Reason WHY

In his book Influence, Robert B. Cialdini writes, “A well-known principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do us a favor, we will be more successful if we provide a reason.”

He shares a stunning example of a study: A woman in line at a copy machine asks people if she can go ahead of them, saying, “I have five pages. May I go ahead of you?” With this version of the question, 60% of people let her go ahead.

When the woman gave a reason — simply adding “because I’m in a rush” — 94% of people said yes. That’s over 1.5 times the response!

Persuasive people make it crystal clear why they’re asking for something, because it’s easier for someone to get on board (see what I did there?). To connect with and persuade more people, be upfront with your why

5. Have an Open Heart

I can feel Tangela’s heart popping right out of her video! She’s completely authentic, and she believes everything she’s saying. 

There are so many different persuasion and communication techniques out there, but this one is key. If you want to authentically persuade anyone, you must dig deep and speak directly from your heart. 

That’s the #1 secret to being persuasive, because people can see and feel when you’re heart is open. And when it is, they’ll never forget you.

6. Show Gratitude

At the end of her video, Tangela took a moment to not only thank me for the opportunity but to acknowledge all the other women who submitted scholarship entries.

That hit me right in my heart — she acknowledged my community, something I highly value, and made me feel taken care of in her request. That small gesture shows that she’s not coming from a place of entitlement, but from respect and humility. 

7. Show Them You’re Serious

I don’t usually respond well to threats, but let me tell you — Tangela sealed the deal with a (safe) threat at the end of her video. 

A dance bomb* threat 😉

Obviously, I don’t condone threats of danger or damage of any kind, but Tangela’s warning that she’d “dance bomb” me daily if she couldn’t get into B-School? Well, that’s my love language.

This small detail was funny, proves she follows my work and that she’s not willing to take no for an answer.

*Dance bomb (n): A surprise, impromptu use of dancing, usually in close proximity to someone who may disapprove of the dancing.

8. Don’t Rely on Gimmicks

I think Tangela shot her video in her bathroom — no fancy lights, graphics, or editing. She just poured her heart straight into the camera.

You know I love me some fancy production, but it’s not necessary to be persuasive.

I’ve seen new business owners obsess over the design and layout of their website or overpay for promotional videos because they’re terrified that no one will take them seriously without some bedazzling.

Trust me, you don’t need it!

Focus on the message and you can’t go wrong. When it comes to persuasion, authenticity trumps everything.

Which Persuasion Techniques Will You Use?

Now, you can’t copy Tangela’s video or her script and think you’ll be able to win over the people you’re trying to persuade. What works about her approach is that it’s honest and authentic.

That’s the part you can use. Be honest and authentic in your way next time you want to persuade someone to buy something, support you, or collaborate. Focus on your WHY and how you can serve.

When you lead with your heart, you don’t need special equipment, techniques, or gimmicks to get people on your side. All you need is your message.

Let’s turn this insight into action!

Grab a notebook, and take five to ten minutes to reflect on these persuasion traits and write your answers to these questions:

  1. What’s a specific situation in your business or life in which you want to influence others?
  2. Which of the above traits will help you the most in this situation?
  3. What can you say or do in this situation to cultivate and convey those traits?

You have the power to use your voice and your enthusiasm to change people’s minds — and change the world. Don’t waste it.

How To Give Yourself A Self-Deception Reality Check

This morning I spoke with a client who was feeling stalled in growing her online business.

She asked, “What’s stopping me from having success?”

I could tell she was looking for a deep, insightful, inner game type answer.

But that wasn’t what she got.  Here’s what I said next.

Continue reading “How To Give Yourself A Self-Deception Reality Check”