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What’s it like to be at rock bottom?

“It’s the moment you wake up and realize that you might not survive this,” writes Dr. Shefali, clinical psychologist and author of the New York Times bestseller A Radical Awakening.

Everyone experiences loss, pain, and uncertainty in their lives (remember 2020?). But transformation happens when you embrace the lows instead of trying to escape them.

Because here’s the truth… Your deepest pain fuels your greatest strength.

Growth is a subtractive process. @DrShefali Click To Tweet

Dr. Shefali, an expert in family dynamics and personal development, received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University and specializes in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy.

But this isn’t just research or her PhD talking, Dr. Shefali knows the pain of rock bottom firsthand — because for years she lived there herself.

In this MarieTV you’ll learn:

  • The low point that sparked Shefali’s radical awakening.
  • Why striving to be “good” is holding you back.
  • The #1 thing we get wrong about personal growth.
  • How to let go of impossible expectations.
  • 3 critical choices you can make at every low point.
  • The power of hitting rock bottom and where to go next.

If you, or someone you know, is facing a low point, watch this now.

View Transcript

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

Listen Now

DIVE DEEPER: Here are 4 simple mantras to overcome any challenge, plus conscious parenting with Dr. Shefali.

Now we’d love to hear from you.

In the comments below, tell us your biggest insight, takeaway, or aha moment from today’s episode.

Don’t let this conversation go in one ear and out the other. Leave a comment now.

Why? Because change happens when we take our insights and put them into action in little ways every day.

Real transformation is an inside job.

Or as Shefali says, “Nothing on the outside can truly change on a deep level if we don’t recalibrate our sense of worth.”

Take some time to nurture and care for yourself today. You’re worth investing in.

xo

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89 comments

  1. Excellent, thank you so much for sharing the power we need to find all inside, i begin my day so powerfully, all my best!

    • teamforleo

      Thank you for starting your day with us, Elise. We appreciate you so much. xo- Heather

    • David Cobb

      Break free from the crowd! Amen!

  2. Kate Ryan

    Thank you thank you thank you for this powerful interview by 2 amazing ladies!! I have never written down so many notes whilst watching MarieTV before. Dr Shefali’s words just hit the right spot for me so I gotta do something for myself. My dad died last year and since then I felt lost. I was lost without his guidance and presence. However, I have always been a fiercely independent girl since young, so WHY did I have this massive block? I need to see myself beyond the mere labels we give ourselves. In my case, I am my father’s daughter. Can I be my own independent person now? 🙂
    Sure I will always love my dad but I need to love myself even more now.
    -Kate

    • teamforleo

      Kate, we’re so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. It’s such a tough road to walk and we certainly hope that you’re giving yourself lots of grace and compassion as you grieve.

      As with any loss, who you are becoming will be different than who you were before you lost your Dad. Both versions are you and by putting one foot in front of the other each day, you’re making your life happen. We see you and we certainly hope that this episode and our work continues to serve you and your heart. xo- Heather

    • Heather Lederman

      This Conversation came at the exact moment that I was feeling truly sucky about life. I have been pondering the thought off and on about “Who Heather is without a goal.” And concluded Im sucky without one. But I realize it’s clearly deeper as I sit in the pain of disliking who I am and what I’ve not become or not done. Much thanks for the assurance to “sit in it”

  3. My siblings nasty behaviour revealed to me that I was much too nice and needed to set up boundaries.

    Great revelation.
    Superb action, taken 🙌🏽

    Many thanks for this conversation.

    Sadé Tolani ☀️

  4. Bader

    Dear Marie,

    I am a fan of Dr. Shefali for so long and I love her way of explaining things in such a profound way. About being “good” like you say “whatever that means”, I have such a difficult time (and here is one of those really embedded set of believes) being a “bitch” “displeasing” and I find that being “good” is basically the only way to be, is spiritual, its actually the only reason we exist. I would love if you or Dr. Shefali could expand a bit on this because I found some resistance in me when I listened to her saying: it is ok to be a bitch, be cause I find that as long as it is to set boundaries, fine, but sometimes that “bitchiness” can hurt others and that I simply cannot conceal. How do you differentiate between being a good and a bad bitch!? Whatever that means….

    • teamforleo

      Great questions, Bader- thank you for sharing them with us.

      You mentioned boundaries in your question and Marie recently had a conversation with Terri Cole on MarieTV which was alllllll about boundaries. You may find it helpful and you can find it here —–> https://www.marieforleo.com/2021/04/terri-cole/

      Something to consider- if something is the right decision for YOU yet doesn’t make it convenient for someone else, that doesn’t make you a ‘bitch’, that makes you YOU with boundaries. We hope that Terri’s episode can shine some additional light on your question so that you may find the answers that are right for you. – Heather

  5. You never fail to deliver vital content that is life changing, but this particular interview with Dr. Shefali absolutely was the right thing at the right time for me today.

    What stuck out most to me was the concept of stripping away to emerge as your essence and not a cultural construct that was created by a combination of our natural need in our youth to belong and our chosen ‘poison’ for how to achieve that as well as the cultural messages we got at the time and all along the way until we met / meet our rock bottom and decided to deconstruct to reconstruct.

    I happen to be in that process right now. My rock bottom doesn’t look scary at all from the outside. My life is ‘fine’ – even to me!!! Which I know is not ‘fine.’ Fine is only good when it’s in reaction to watching a particularly attractive human walk by…like ‘ooooh, damn, he’s fiiiiinnnne’ but it’s a huge red flag anywhere else. I know that and I have been very conscious about the WHAT I need to do, but not exactly the HOW.

    So, I’ll be downloading Dr. Shefali’s book on my Kindle today!

    Thank you so very very very much for all that you do. My life is exponentially richer and more beautiful for having had you in it the past few years.

    Much Love
    Jelena Ava Ristic

    • teamforleo

      Jelena, it’s our absolute honor to share time with you. Thank you for sharing your words and thoughts with all of us here- they will certainly help someone who needed to read them today.

      Here’s hoping your “fine” areas become more and more “amazing”. We’ll be here cheering you on. – Heather

  6. Jessica

    I felt so much of this interview. I have been trying to reflect and figure out how to pull myself out of the lost, frustrated and overwhelmed feeling for over a year now. When Dr. Stefali said, “nothing on the outside can truly change on a deep level if we don’t recalibrate our sense of worth”, I felt a shift and realization! This is the truth and what I have been missing. I need to dive deep into this and I thank you both for sharing! Much to look forward too!

    • teamforleo

      YES Jessica! We love when you feel the shift under your feet when you heard words that hit just right. Sending you loads of Team Forleo love. – Heather

  7. Brigitte A.

    I am very grateful for this interview because it validates just how far I’ve come, how much I’ve learned, and how strong I’ve become.

    There’s still tons of stuff left to work on, but that starting line is now but a dot in the rear view mirror. I’ve come a LONG way and can now say (and believe) that no, I’m nowhere near perfect, but I’m still pretty fucking amazing.

    • teamforleo

      All. Of. This. Brigitte! Celebrate the progress you’ve made- we’re here for it. xo- Heather

  8. Ewa

    “When I hear B.. is when I ” stopped to be a people-pleaser, good girl, this perfect someone always ready to help and support others – and so often forgetting about my own needs, dreams and feelings. Thank you! I needed this perspective. Now I am ready to stop being perfect and hear this B… word or some other words with a smile.

    • teamforleo

      Ewa, here’s to you putting your dreams and feelings ahead of other things that aren’t for you. Keep us posted on your progress! – Heather

  9. It’s only me!? That think we should tighten every girl or woman to them chair right away and make them listen to this (and much more but let’s start somewhere) to plant the seed of awakening in so many?!
    Amazing value
    Aha moment : “ all our suffering comes because we attach to things on the outside” went strength into quote
    Thank you Marie 💫 blessings
    Abbraccio

  10. Crystal

    I needed this today. Just bought the book and I cannot wait to dive in. Thank you so much Dr. Shefali!

  11. Judi

    Our own internal oppression that is constantly shaming us – this shook me to my core it’s so powerful! I feel the universe put this video in my lap at the most perfect time. Blessings and huge thanks to Marie & Dr. Shefali for this most impactful message! I will be ordering her book today.

  12. This is the greatest gift one can give thy self. Shedding our weight off mentally, physically, spiritually all of it. Digging deep into who the hell are we? facing our not so glam shyt. having hard conversations. healing and then rediscovering who is there after that. FREEING

  13. Priscilla Hernandez

    WOW.

  14. Nicola

    Well I will be sending this to my four girls – powerful and loved the idea that we are our own limitors and the fact that sufferening comes form the things on the outside – nevery really thought of it like this before.

    Thank you Nicola

  15. Your influence on me amplifies my ability to be my best self

  16. This podcast is great and very true. I’ve lived a life devoted to authenticity, to celebrating my true self (I’m a visual artist, a painter). I can guarantee if you live this kind of life, you will end up losing some people and things. You will be lonely, and that hurts a lot. It’s also a never-ending struggle, because the pressure to conform is so great, and there’s a human need to be safe and warm and loved. But you will find new people and things which are a much better fit for you, and sometimes you’ll soar with the joy of a caged bird let free. (Some of the old people will also stick around, or use you as a role model to change themselves…don’t count on it, but you might be surprised!)
    One way I survive this life, aside from surrounding myself with kindred spirits, is to keep a toolbox of books, podcasts and similar resources around to shore myself up when I’m feeling low. That’s why I subscribe to Marie Forleo, and why I buy books like the one featured today, and why I consult therapists and life coaches when needed. We are so lucky to have so many resources to help us live a more authentic life, even if it’s just in small ways which give us space to breathe.

  17. SO good!! So much wisdom and insight. Thank you Dr. Shefali and thank you Marie.
    xo ~ kerry

  18. Every woman needs to watch this. Oppression is internalized in so many ways and if we are now oppressing ourselves, we can also change the script. Very empowering thank you!

    • teamforleo

      Hi Lena,

      So glad you enjoyed this episode with Dr. Shefali! We are honored to have you as part of our community.

      -Antoinette

  19. Noris Mendoza

    Thought provoking and insightful interview. I love that this addresses the lies that we believe regarding what gives us value. We are valuable simply because we are humans made in the image of God. This ‘shedding’ is for men as well. There is pressure for them to conform to societal molds which stifle their growth too ie; boys don’t cry etc… That would be refreshing. However the notion of being good, which really stood out to me, is a woman’s lot in life. Along with many other unrealistic pressures and demands to be everything to everyone and look perfect while doing it. We are so distracted that seldom do we stop and ask ourselves what we think, believe, want. It is so true that these systems are designed to shut us up! If you aren’t agreeable, if you voice anything that doesn’t align with culture, by speaking your truth, than you’re a bitch. We need to rise up and be who we were created to be. This is a process both women and men need to embrace. That path is for your steps alone. Many thanks to you both.

  20. Stacy

    Marie!
    I love you. Thank you for having Dr Shefali. My only regret was that I didn’t have a notebook to write down all of the wisdom nuggets!

    I did however take the time to forward the show to every client I have! I sent to my teenage daughters as well.
    The messages contained in those 30 mins are profound!

    As always thank you!
    All the best!

    Stacy Franco

    • teamforleo

      Hi Stacy,

      Wahoo! Thanks for sharing the love with family and clients. We agree lots of wisdom nuggets discussed in this episode!

      -Antoinette

  21. Sheila Mellen

    The concept of “needing to be good” just resonates with me and trying to unweave that from my own essences is really difficult

  22. Monica

    Just wanted to share with all you ladies the meaning of B.I.T.C.H – Once long ago I read the meaning…
    BABE
    IN
    TOTAL
    CONTROL of
    HERSELF. I am honored and I smile when I am called such name.
    I also learned that when someone is mean to me, they have bigger problems so I should just wipe the dust and forget about their insults. Send a good thought to the person that is suffering and continue the journey, my time is mine and should not be wasted on someone else’s frustration unless they ask for help.
    I have always been a loner, I do not follow the crowds, I go my way. I find that following social standards is so exhausting that I just can’t do it. The pandemic hit hard removing the little “social time at work” with remote work and virtual people ; I found a furry soul to fill out that loneliness and now I not only found company on her, my filters are growing and they are stronger; and I am never judged.

  23. Wow! This is my new favorite episode. Every little step I take, away from the false self, moves me closer to my authentic self. I call the process a remembering.
    Thank you Marie and Dr. Shefali

    • Lori

      sharing that truth with you …

  24. Lori Skyrud

    Marie:
    Thank you, Marie. I have no words: I am grateful to you…
    I really appreciate your courage, your grace, your power, your vulnerability, and the organizational skills which you bring to bear, in order to benefit all of us who share this path with you. The session with Dr. Shefali was very resonant for me, as a woman, as a mother, and as a power house.
    I feel, it is important to experience moments of, “..we are not alone, we can feel this and realize lasting change…we can share this experience with others… and there is help on the path of liberation.” You’re the best, Marie. Bless you for sharing. Thank you— 10,000 times. Know how much we all love you.

    • teamforleo

      Hi Lori,

      Sending you lots of love and gratitude back to you. We love our community!

      -Antoinette

  25. Angela Howard

    This was great. I would love to know more on how to build self worth.

  26. Haviva

    I love Dr Shefali’s slogan: ‘Sit With It!’ No more ‘Sit On It’ (sorry not sorry, Fonzie)
    Earlier today, my teenage daughter was in a mood and expressed that she thinks her summer is going to be awful . First I asked her why she is feeling that. She answered in a few words. I quickly started to suggest she stay in the present moment by using her 5 senses. She got upset and walked away. I wish I had watched this prior to that activated event. Sitting longer with the feelings to begin the process of letting go in the moment, is the message I am hearing loud and clear. I know there will be lots of opportunities to practice.

    • teamforleo

      Hi Haviva,

      Wow! Taking Dr. Shefali’s slogan and implementing it right away is phenomenal, good for you! So may great teachings from this episode too.

      -Antoinette

  27. As a CBT-trained creative seeker with a MSc in Neuroscience I am always so interested in people who manage to merge the science with our instinctive wild human spirit — and always see these kind of of people as beacons that I’m on the right path as I try to balance my own “this is how the world works” versus what I know in my body to feel true.

    I’ve come to learn that ‘disconnection’ is such a powerful symptom of what we are trying to “deconstructing the lies within which we live…especially as women it tells us to play quiet, to play small… to believe in perfection” – such powerful words.
    “To stop subscribing to the mandate that we are unworthy… Detach from the prescription that I needed to be the best ___ and re-script what my life could look like (and recalibrate our sense of worth).”

    I love the reminder that we never got to find out who we are because we assimilated into who society expected and so to grow, we have to cut back, to dig deep, to explore what’s at the foundation of us [to step back before we leap forward] which is what I do at Rooted Reinvention — focus on those roots we may never have consciously explored and excavated. The ‘subtraction is how we grow’ is something I get a lot of push back on but you described it so well ^_^

    I also love the reminder of acts of discernment – questioning what we do and why we do it, to ‘complete the cycle.’ Such a powerful reminder.

    A lot of the comments here reminded me of Glennon’s Untamed where she spoke about the ‘to serve’ versus ‘good girl’ versus flipping a coin to choose pizza… All of that stuff just resonated throughout this conversation.

    “This is not the way to worth.”
    Mic Drop.

  28. Katie Fraser

    Oh wow this was amazing and the timing of it for me!!! I’m 51 struggling to embrace so many new changes at this stage of my life! Ending a very toxic 8yr relationship that I jumped into to escape the ending of my marriage. Now my kids are coming into their own and I am left in this inner place of nothing ness. Sitting on my own doorstep not knowing who I am but sensing this immense desire for a rebirth. I’ve been working on embracing the emotions, on removing the layers of the false protective ego. All of this resonated so deeply with me. I love the end with the patriarchy we carry as woman and the cultural expectations. Thank you for bringing this into the light!!

    • teamforleo

      Katie,

      Thank you for sharing your insight and thoughts from this episode with Dr. Shefali. We are so glad that the timing came at the right time for you to hear this lovely conversation.

      -Antoinette

  29. Thank you Marie and Dr. Shefali for bringing this episode! Marie, so many of your episodes hit home but this one hit every room in my house.
    “…stop subscribing on a daily prescription, on a daily subscription to the mandate that I was unworthy”
    This is my habit to break as I honor my inner voice above external expectations.
    This episode addressed my inner work, my parenting, my love life, and even my career. (Omw to get all 3 of your books, Shefali!)
    “Taking off our masks”…this is the topic of my children’s book based on yoga philosophy that is about to come out! I feel so validated and supported by the universe right now.
    Thank you again to Marie, Dr. Shefali, and Team Forleo for bringing so much light into the world. ❤❤❤

    • teamforleo

      Hi Kim,

      We are so glad that you are a part of our community! May you spread your light in this world and radiate with beauty.

      -Antoinette

  30. This is awesome; will need to get the book. I wish I’d have heard this when going thru my own ‘awakening and emergence’ which would have helped me – and perhaps my kids – have an easier time through that process.
    “It has nothing to do with the other person, and all to do with our awakening into wholeness.” Beautiful.

    • teamforleo

      Hi Mary,
      So glad you enjoyed the episode with Dr. Shefaili! She’s amazing!

      -Antoinette

  31. Sara

    YASSSSSSSSSSS!!! ’tis all 🙂

  32. Tanja Krakovic

    OMG, she touched up on so many levels!!!
    After my STAY-CHANGE-LEAVE phase I felt a died. It was scary. It took courage and more courage. And why? Because I was living my life by sabotaging myself and the ego wanted to rule. Well, the ego died and I grew wings!!!! It feels so good to fly!
    Thank you! It is so important that you brought up the mother-daughter relationship. In the end I told myself, what kind of a mother am I if I am telling my daughters that it is ok to live a life without truth.
    I am so grateful every day for the courage I have and for allowing myself to be untamed!💕

  33. Sennait

    POWERFUL interview, I wish every young woman would listen to this!

  34. Danielle Ivaldi

    What an interesting interview. I can’t also help thinking that there is also a balance of good things that have come out of the messages of our upbringing, after all it was our learning environment for who we are. It’s a great call to question our self validity and to examine whether consciously or unconsciously we made too many ‘wrong’ choices in which messages we chose to respond to – particularly hard in toxic environments where positive options were silenced.

    Personally this resonated with me in a recent work situation, where I chose to walk away rather than accept ongoing poor behaviour that generated a negative workplace . It has given me time to reflect on my authentic self, and having the time to discover Marie TV through her ‘Everything is Figuratable’ book and these great interviews that give me more tools to assess and grow in a very positive way!

  35. This was sooo insightful. Thank you Marie & Dr.Shefali.
    ‘Stay with it’ and only leave from a place of wholeness! This was profound.

  36. Gina A Mercado

    This was exactly what I needed today. I have been struggling with changes and this episode helped me sort through and name what is going on with me lately.
    Thank you so much!

  37. Great discussion again. Thank you for sharing this one. 🙂

  38. I watched this yesterday and again today. The conversation really spoke to me loud and clearly and I know it’s because instinctively I feel I have come to a place in my life where I am ready for change and understand the significance of the message.

    ” I tell them, if they are feeling the fear and panic and they just want to bolt, that’s the clearest indication that they should sit in it, that they should not run away”

    Thank you Dr. Shefali.
    Thank you Marie Forleo
    Thank you Team Forleo

  39. CP

    This conversation has resonated with me on many levels. I am going through a divorce since my husband has changed so dramatically during COVID. I believe he is going through a transformation of where he was always a nice person (which must be what he learned as a child to be) to now wanting to break free from that. Of course, that is unfortunate for me but I am learning to accept that his journey has little to do with me and our relationship. I also feel that I have been struggling with the idea of who am I now that I am no longer a wife, a mother (child is graduating college), etc. and I agree with so much of what you shared today. Thank you.

  40. Margaret

    “There is no end goal to being good.” This hit me like a ton of bricks! I’ve always tried to be the “good girl” and it’s exhausting! Thank you for sharing this with the world!

  41. Jana Kolcova

    Dr. Shefali’s work entered ‘my world’ a couple of years ago; her message deeply resonates with me and I feel truly blessed and grateful for her ‘warrior’ spirit! We need more women like her to reshape our society and break free from the insidiously permeable patriarchal indoctrination. In gratitude for her and your work Marie! Jana

  42. Susanne

    In the middle of making videos for my Way of Health Lifestyle Program, the lawn workers outside made that impossible. Fortunately, I checked my email and your’s drew me in. I especially resonated with “essence.” We are all here to share our gifts and talents authentically with those we are mean to serve. Also, the thought of growth happening inside by simplifying your life is true! You put emphasis on purpose, passion, and serving others with beautiful truth. Thank you!!!

  43. Syndi Prokopich

    Loved the interview with Dr Shefali – the aha was the part about having to be “good or nice” for not speaking up in fear of being called a bitch. I am by nature (to use Luvvie’s definition) a disruptor and troublemaker … calling “truths, of truths” and gossip out. So great to be introduced to so many powerful & inspirational women through MF! Thank you!!

  44. Mary Beth Woolvett

    Marie, you said “keep it simple” I love this and I am practicing simple living.

    It has nothing to do with the other person and all to do with our own awakening into wholeness. I will sit in it (the pain, the joy, the anger) whatever it is I am going through or feeling and say to myself “what can I learn from this with fresh eyes”. I love everything about You! Your emails! Your podcasts/vlogs! You supporting others! I even love that you dance 💃

    Thank you Marie with huge hugs,
    Mary Beth Woolvett

  45. Marie, you asked if there were any “aha” moments from the interview, and I just want to say that the entire interview was an aha! I was nodding and crying and shouting YES the whole way through. I just bought her book and can’t wait to read it. Thank you so much for this . . . both Shefali and you are truly beautiful, inside and out.

  46. Thank you so much Marie for sharing this magical moment with this wonderful woman.
    She expresses all I’ve been fighting for since I was a child. The essence of our real self.
    I am an artist and have always felt like an outsider, not wanting to follow what seemed the confortable path of “normality” , wanting to find truth within myself.
    This interview is a aha moment all the way through .
    I want to thank both of you for being such beautiful souls.
    Chloé
    (Marseille south of France)

  47. OMGosh this was such a powerful episode for me. There were so many aha moments! I really needed to hear this today. After the episode finished I realised I was sitting up straighter in my chair and felt very empowered. Thank you.

  48. Nisha

    Again, emancipation comes from within… Thank you Marie and Dr. Shefali!

    We are our own oppressors. We have learned how to oppress ourselves we no longer need others to help! That landed…

    I have been unplugging from roles and creating space in relationships: breathing and asking how they mirror me? What power, anger, fear or greed is demonstrated? Also what love, wisdom, consideration or creativity?

    Also created an emotionally and physically safe home for myself. Four years later, first time where I feel like I am on vacation in my own home by myself! Ever! Just playing, putzing, sewing, whatever comes up.

    I even tried visualizing surfing (which I have never done) and felt free and sun kissed and I didn’t have to leave my living room for that!

    On vacation with myself and loving it.

    Ciao Bella’s!

  49. Freya

    Thankyou marie and dr shefali for this, ive been watching marie’s content religiously for quite some time now. Its empowering and im in such a happy state when i hear all of the values
    So my husband Is making me lesser than, he said that im not loving him the way his mom love his dad. I want to puke, because she love him “blindly” he doesnt even treat her well and not faithful at all(he has other wife other than my husband’s mom) all in all i feel for quite some time now. That his family is toxic.
    Even tho i love my husband, my family and everything i build with him. I just didnt feel right because he want that kind of love. And the problematic of his family is keep on arise to his behavior like he mention he want a second wife and so many things happen that i thought to myself that he is really deep down inside still attach and inclined to his family that he didnt even have control of.
    But i didnt feel right to leave this relationship. Because overall our life is good. He treat me well overall , love to compliment me and my works, took care of me. He invested in our family so much And we have two young kids.
    But i still have sense that telling me that he do this because im still young, vibrant and everything.
    What makes me sad that i have this whisper that later when im old and useless he will step on me. I know that , that whisper is come from his belief that he accumulatively mention to me.
    I always thought to myself i will have a deep regret to not leave this relationship when i still young.

  50. Recalibrating… as always Marie’s content felt like a big hug that embraced me on quite possibly a rock bottom moment (all safe) but gave me the presence of knowing it is all an inside job. Humbled and grateful for

  51. Gurmeet

    Hi Marie. I have been a huge fan of yours.Love your energy, enthusiasm and that impeccable dress sense. I have also heard Dr Shefali many times before and now on Marie TV. She is very eloquent. But I don’t agree with all that she says. Women don’t always live lies. Yes they over perform and multitask and that’s what strengthens them and make them nurturers and caregivers. As long as they know how to balance it out and look after their body, mind and soul in the process , they are force to reckon with.I felt she was repetitive in a way that she had to justify the decisions she had made on her journey. I would love to look great so I exercise and spend time on self care certainly doesn’t mean I am doing this to only please people. I feel when you are a woman of substance then can you find your essence. And this comes from someone you likes it all and is multipassionate. just as you are.We need to empower women to find their inner strengths and being a good daughter, wife or spouse is not a label one must disown. I felt confused and maybe annoyed with her message. Well, she did encourage me to write this comment rather than stay quite as I usually do browsing through Marie TV.
    BTW , I am doing your Copycure course and pushing my boundaries there.
    Keep kicking arse Love, ❤️
    Gee

  52. Jonathan Berens

    I am working through the Copy Cure and Marie Forleo B school. Its been a process to find a coach with information that delivers rather than over promising and under delivering which has been my experience with other so called coaches and courses over the past 2 years.
    Ok so I have found myself angry, depressed, worried and not enjoying life at all lately, Yes probably due to this covid nonsense. And also other factors. I have struggled to continue to go thru the course content each day lately.
    Email came about this video with Dr. Shefali and low and behold had the info and direction I have been looking for and needed badly. Timing couldn’t have been better. Took notes, downloaded the transcript and bought and copy of Dr. Shefali’s book right after listening to this interview. Thankfully this has given me much more hope to help me lift myself to of depression and figure out why and now to let go of anger, frustration and so much more. Thank you

  53. Barbara Spikes

    This conversation is amazing. I am always fearful of saying the wrong thing. It actually paralyzes me sometimes. I have been noticing that my husband can say the same things I do, and people laugh or comment. With me, there’s a different take. So, I keep quiet. But,I will relook at this. And both of you beautiful women, stay there for all of us, even we older ladies— or bitches. Thanks for all you do. Barbara

  54. Amanda Gardley

    This was incredible! “Growth is a subtractive process”

  55. Raelene Mercer

    DIVORCE is not a failure it is a learning experience in every way! That is a great reminder!

  56. Love it. Love it. Love it.
    💕💕💕
    Everything… so important.

    Thank you Marie. Thank you Dr. Shefali.

    Best wishes 😘😘🙏

  57. Tejas

    Hii Marie i am from India. Loved this podcast it was great to see Shefali on Marie TV. I’ve been following you for a long time. Keep doing this good work. Thank you so much

  58. Get comfortable being called a bitch. That’s gold right there!

  59. Carmen

    Thank you, I LOVED this interview. We hear so much lately about the importance of telling the truth and living in truth, but on this interview it becomes very clear how to do that! by taking the time to examine with total honesty what is our essence and commiting to letting go all what is not. Seeing who we are beyound our belongings, profession or relationships and honoring that person… What a practical way to take one huge step closer to our personal truth. Thank you, Marie, your interviews make my day!!

  60. Niki

    I need to remind myself that succumbing to the negative “labels” that others impose is relinquishing my power to them and that label. I’m a people pleaser to a fault, and maybe not pleasing everyone doesn’t make me a b17ch….it just means I’m taking care of me first!

  61. Amy

    This video with Dr. Shefari is nice for neurotypicals. It actually applies to those of us women with some form of autism who have to try much harder to fit in half as well as others. Still, those of us with an ASD are very often more authentic than most, and usually rejected or scapegoated as the cost of the ticket to remain in a group. So, maybe the idea is to at least retain all of the social communication patterns and social “registers” of communication. But that then entails a whole host of automatically performed and understood behaviors to be maintained in order for that social communication to be effective. So, where is the Middle Path here?

  62. A big thanks for this new blog of yours. I really appreciated this topic. 🙂

  63. This is great new episode again. I learned a lot of thing’s while listening to your conversation. Right now i’m browsing to your other blog’s.

    • teamforleo

      We’re so glad that you found it helpful! We appreciate you being here. – Heather

  64. Hello, thank you for touching on this topic. It’s a valuable message I feel more people should hear about. We all have walked certain paths and may have been wounded along the way. It’s great to become aware of potential triggers and the kind of stories we tell ourselves. And indeed, once we better understand where those stories stem from, we can redefine them and start to live a better, healthier and happier life. Goodnight to you 🙌🏼

  65. BAM! That was some serious mic drops! I had to listen to several parts repeatedly and stop thinking what Dr. Shefali (love that “she” in the first part of her name) was saying could “help a friend I know” because of her, changed the message to “What Dr. Shefali was sharing, can guide me.” WOW!
    This will be a must-read book.
    Thank you Dr. Shefali and Marie. oxoxoxo Reclaiming my true essence!!!

  66. Scot

    As a young boy, I learned that being “good” was a highly admired and sought after trait. I worked so hard to be “good” that it consumed a great deal of my life. Eventually, as my false self became more apparent to me, I became confused about what role I should ideally be chasing. Fast forward to today. What I am learning about living an authentic life, is that it does not always align with what my culture wants, but it calms my spirit and honors the essence of me. I guess being “liked” is no longer the goal. Being whatever I am in that moment is. It will be a mixed bag externally, but I realize that is okay. What I am discovering internally is a richer and more fulfilling peace of mind. Thank you for sharing this conversation with Dr. Shefali. She is such a beautiful soul who makes me smile because she knows a shit ton of reality that takes a good deal of work and time to uncover. I am blessed to see this today:)

    Thank you peace and love Scot

  67. As the eldest and only girl in the family, I developed a good intuition. I learned to see the future based on people’s behaviors and actions. The times I trusted my gut and inner knowing I thrived. The times I didn’t, I paid a high fine. Thinking about it now, the times I second-guessed my intuition was because it went against this concept of being a “good” – daughter, girlfriend, sister, wife, and mother. The physical, labor pains of having my daughter changed something inside me. They put my life into perspective and my level of tolerance around gender expectations and norms changed. I’m more definitive about my statements, expectations, and beliefs. It’s been an interesting experience.

  68. Love this topic. I was in tears listening to the conversation. Cuz last years was the lowest point of my life because of pandemic. But happy to say that this years i was now on the right track. 🙂

  69. Divya Jaggi

    Simply adore you for what you are DOING. Always love listening to your interviews and read the books you suggest. Stay Truly Blessed and Happy.We really need you . You are doing an Awesome job 🤗🥳

  70. While being positive and hopeful in the face of a crisis is challenging, many of us have a tendency to exaggerate our difficulties and make them appear even more terrible than they are. Be confidence that you’ll find a solution to a problem, even if one isn’t obvious right away.
    Really appreciate this topic. Keep it up 🙂

  71. Thanks for this wonderful topic that you share marie.

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