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Thank you, Louise. You did think of everything, didn’t you?
I say yeah, yeah, yeah. You did.
Yeah, she did.
Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love. Now, if you know that you need to grow but you’re afraid of what you gotta do to get there, let me tell you, this is the episode for you. Today’s question comes from Helena, and she writes:
“Hey, Marie, I have a business called Yummy Italy where I offer culinary experiences for people who want an authentic taste of Emilia, Romagna. My most frustrating challenge right now is trying to do everything well. Managing a home, a child, a business that wants to grow, a struggling marriage, and a sick mother who lives abroad. Working by myself from my kitchen table I’m having to say no to clients because there’s a lot of work and not enough people to do it, and funds are limited. Last spring I had a moment of wanting to throw in the towel because I couldn’t cope with the pressure. However, things took off by themselves and I need to find a way to go beyond my own limitations. I need more staff and an office, but I’m fearful of taking the next step. How do I break down that wall of fear and branch out? Thanks so much, Helena.”
Helena, now, I’m not gonna lie, you had me at Yummy Italy and I could not help but swooning over all those pictures of pasta on your website. Now, that said, I also really loved the honesty and the vulnerability of your question.
First off, I gotta say this, you need to know how awesome you are and how much I admire you for how hard you’re working and all the things that you’re doing to take care of your son and your business and your clients and your mom, and I’m sure the 50 other things that you’re managing each and every day like a friggin’ champ. And, you know, I know you probably don’t feel like a champ, but you are one.
You know, sometimes it feels like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders and no one sees what we’re doing and what we’re managing. So I just want you to know that we see you, we admire you, and we say brava.
Now, the reason that I wanted to answer your question is because this is a pattern I notice, especially with driven, creative women. And yes, people, I know I am making a broad generalization here so I’m don’t wanna hear all the comments, but here’s the deal. In my experience, women in particular tend to wait far too long to get the help that they need to grow. This is true in our businesses and it can also be true in our personal lives. Now, I’m certainly guilty of this and at some point along the journey virtually every woman I know has struggled with getting the help they need too.
Now, you mentioned fear and how afraid you are to take that next step to grow. You know, most of us know the naughty acronym for fear, right? “F everything and run.”
No! I’m outta here!
But I want to give you a more productive acronym where fear actually stands for “face everything and rise.”
And I’ll rise up, I’ll rise like the day, I’ll rise up, I’ll rise unafraid, I’ll rise up.
You see, Helena, the key to breaking through your fear is to learn how to really use it to your advantage. You want to learn how to reframe it and change what it means to you and how you look at it. Because 99% of what each of us needs to do in order to grow our business, we’ve never done before.
So of course it’s gonna feel daunting, it’s gonna feel terrifying and overwhelming. That’s natural. And in your case, Helena, what’s so awesome is you know exactly what you need to do. You need to hire help ASAP.
Look, I remember when I was still doing everything myself from my kitchen table just like you. I felt like I was drowning. I could not keep up with all the demands on my time. I knew I needed to hire help, but I was so scared, probably much like how you’re feeling right now. I wasn’t making a lot of money at that time. I had never been a boss before, so I had an important choice to make.
Choice A was to stay in my comfort zone and keep trying to do more and swim faster and pedal harder all on my own. But the truth was, and I knew this deep down, that if I stayed in my comfort zone much longer I was probably gonna kill that very thing that I loved that I was working so hard to build. There was really no chance that I’d ever get beyond the stage that I was at.
Now, choice number B was to get out of my comfort zone and start living in what I now call the growth zone. This is that magical place where I could learn how to be a boss, I could learn how to delegate, and I could learn how to grow my business. And yes, that growth zone, man, it was terrifying because I knew I was probably gonna fall flat on my face. And you know what? I did. I hired the wrong people at first, I wasted money, there was a lot of tears. But you know what? I stuck it out. I stayed in that growth zone and eventually I started to get it right. Now, you know Helena, I am a visual learner so I really wanted you to see how this whole powerful growth zone really works.
Here in the comfort zone, which is where many of us live, things feel safe. They feel known, right? Even if things are stressful and unpleasant, at least we feel secure in the fact that it’s familiar. Now, so many of us tend to stay here in the comfort zone way too long. So long, in fact, that we start to kill the very things we love. But, see, all the good stuff in business and life exists outside of it here in the growth zone, which is also known as the discomfort zone.
So, yes, things will be uncomfortable at first. It’s scary. You feel really vulnerable and insecure because you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. But if you’re able to hang out there in the growth zone, also known as the discomfort zone, and you learn, that is where all the magic happens. That’s where you face your fears. That’s where you get stronger. That’s where you gain all new kinds of skills and confidence and capabilities. And that’s where you get to make a bigger difference to others.
And then guess what happens? All of a sudden that growth zone becomes your new comfort zone. Everything that used to be so scary and unknown is like “oh, I’ve got this. I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt.” And now everything outside that is your new growth zone.
Now, these days I do my very best to stay in the growth zone as much as humanly possible. And one of the things that really helps me do that is I try and surround myself with people that are growth-minded, people who are willing to take risks, to be uncomfortable, people who are willing to stumble and fall and get back up and try again and again and again even though all of us are afraid.
Now, if you want to connect with a huge community of growth minded people, you should really join us for B-School. It is an extraordinary experience that will train you to stay in your growth zone for good. Because here’s the deal, when you’re growing and you’re learning, the very best of you shows up. That’s where all the magic exists both in your business and in your life. And if you ever forget that fact, Helena, I want you to roll up on this tweetable.
You can stay comfortable or you can grow. Your choice.
That was my A to your Q, Helena, I really do hope it helps. Now I want to hear from you. So what’s the most important thing that is outside of your comfort zone right now that you know you need to do or you need to learn in order to get to your next level? Tell me about it in the comments below.
Now, as always, the best conversations happen over at the wonderful land of MarieForleo.com, so head on over there and leave a comment now. Once you’re there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF Insider. You’ll get instant access to a powerful audio training called How To Get Anything You Want. You’re also gonna get some exclusive content, some special giveaways, and personal updates from me that, frankly, I don’t share anywhere else.
Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams, because the world really does need that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.
B-School is coming up. Want in? For more info and free training go to JoinBSchool.com.
You do like to be told what to do, don’t you?
Yeah, I don’t speak proper English.
And I’ll rise up, I’ll rise like the day. I’ll rise up, I’ll rise unafraid, I’ll rise up.