Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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Doing new things can be scary.

Whether you’re starting a new business, repositioning your brand, or launching a new project, entering the unknown often triggers an avalanche of self-doubt.

Your mind may say you’re too old, too young, not experienced enough, not intelligent enough, or not sophisticated enough to be a success.

If you unpack that series of doubtful thoughts, they all boil down to the same fear:  “I’m not good enough to start my own business.”

Do these kinds of thoughts ever stop you?

If so, you’re gonna love today’s episode of MarieTV because you’ll learn how to cure the “I’m not good enough” fear once and for all.

Don’t let the simplicity of this advice fool you.

Training yourself to come back to the moment and re-engage in the task at hand is the secret to breaking the self-doubt pattern once and for all.

Since the “I’m not good enough” fear is something every human being deals with at some point or another, I’d love to hear your wisdom on this one.

Do you have a practice to move past the self-doubt or a strategy that helps you stay engaged and out of your head? Tell me your most effective tip in the comments below.

Thank you, as always, for reading and I’m pumped to see what you’ve got below.

xoxo

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197 comments

  1. “You are your own judge. The verdict is up to you.” ~Astrid Alauda
    I can tell you that self-doubt doesn’t magically disappear with age and experience. If it is truly something you have a passion for and believe it is what you are meant to do, then keep at it~ ‘repetition is the master of skill’.
    On the other hand, I have no illusion of auditioning on ‘The Voice’, but, I know that isn’t my calling. Thanks for the tip on Ekhart Tolle- I was unaware of him, plus, we got two Maries for the price of one this time. 😉

  2. Two things:

    For those “I’m not good enough” days, I repeat words written by a dear friend who was helping me climb out of a particularly funky funk:

    “Cut yourself some slack and appreciate yourself for the marvel that you are.”

    I keep such “chin-up” affirmations on the wall near my computer and I see them daily. This helps immensely.

    Also, I always remind myself, I may not be the poster child/rock star for my industry, but I am great at what I do and the fact that I’m still doing it tells me I’m doing something right.

    • Hey Christina, I love your tip on surrounding yourself with positive affirmations. That’s a great idea because we’re all naturally inclined to think about ourselves negatively unless we change our habits through practice. Sometimes you just need to let yourself know that you are fierce and fabulous and those negative thoughts need to back up! I love Marie’s statement, “You have a mind but you are not your mind!” That’s unbelievably true. A great book for overcoming self-doubt is ‘As A Man Thinketh’ by James Allen. I read it religiously and recommend others to take a look- it is amazing! Marie, you’ve made Tuesdays my favourite day!

      • Victoria, thanks for the book recommendation. I’m going to seek that one out. 🙂

        Agree with you completely about the need to practice self love. When that inner dialogue has been knocking around in your head for decades, it takes some effort to keep yourself energetically “up” yet also grounded.

      • I love “As a Man Thinketh” it’s a great one to reread over and over again!

        • I have a copy of “As a Woman Thinketh” that my mom gave me in my late teens, in my purse that I read daily: )

      • That is one of my all time fave books! Highly recommend. It has permanent residency on my nightstand!

      • Victoria,
        LOVE THAT BOOK! I need to read it more often. I love Tuesday’s too, but today is Wednesday 😉

    • ooohhhh….I love this part Christina:

      “I am great at what I do and the fact that I’m still doing it tells me I’m doing something right.”

      That’s so what I believe!

  3. Whenever I notice I am having a negative thought about myself or my abilities, I STOP and flip it on it’s head! In other words, I say the exact opposite to myself a few times and move on from that head-space instead. 🙂 Thanks, Marie! xox

    • Amanda, this flipping of words is also encouraged in The Artist’s Way. A fantastic book that you, as a creative yogi, might enjoy. 🙂

      • Nice! Thank you! I will check it out 🙂

  4. I have several techniques.

    The first time I wanted to do something that had not been done before, I thought I wasn’t good enough. I thought “Well, let’s just try it and see what happens.” It makes it seem like less of a big deal and more of a fun experiment.

    Now, that I have done a few things, whenever that “I’m not good enough” feeling comes back, I think “Uhm, if you were able to do that other stuff, why can’t you do this?” or “Wow, so a few years, your excuse was ‘I’m too young’. A few weeks ago, you said you weren’t fit enough. Etc. etc. Well you’re not that young anymore (or you’ve been working out or whatever advancement in life that relates) so what are you gonna conjure up now? Its pointless to try to think of reasons to NOT do this. Just do it!”

    Now, my feelings of “I’m not good enough” are subconcious. So when I procrastinate, I know some of that is going on — but I haven’t figure out a way to address those ones yet. Trickeh. I will try to 1. bring the party to the moment and 2. focus on the service whenever I notice I might have some subconcious crap going on.

    • I think mine are subconscious as well, and they fester. I’m still trying to figure out how to handle these. But like you said, procrastination is a big ole RED FLAG. Maybe starting a regular practice of EFT or something similar would help?

    • Stacy

      Udo, I really like what you said about reminding yourself of other seemingly scary stuff that you’ve already accomplished. I think that’s a great practice, and one that I hope to implement more frequently. I think that most of us can look back at our lives and find at least one thing we’ve done that scared us, but that we’re totally glad we did. I think that’s a great way to do some self-encouragement.

  5. Hey Marie,
    This “inner critic” haunted me my entire life. I was CONSTANTLY asking myself “What’s wrong with me?” and I was always able to find the answer. It wasn’t until I started invest in myself and begin learning more about myself through therapy and coaching that I started to understand this voice. I discovered that there is purpose and protection behind this voice. Although it doesn’t sound like it’s helping, there is divine wisdom buried behind the criticism. I’m now at a point where I don’t need to “shut the voice down” or push it away. I’ve developed a genuine wonderful relationship with that part of myself. I’ve created a program to teach women how to Turn Their Inner Critic Into Their Raving Fan. I believe you need to be your biggest raving fan to create the live you know you are meant to live.

    • Great comment Melissa 🙂

      • Excellent comment Melissa.. i totally agree, unless we honour all aspects of ourselves, we cannot be whole or in a position of harmony. I have found that by listening compassionately to the voice and hearing its message in a softer way.. i can work with it, not against it. As you say, we have it for a reason (our ego has valuable functions). the key is not to let it own or rule you in unawareness but to be constantly aware of the inner voice and even just let it have its rant while observing it without attachment, not allowing it to change your view of yourself or a situation. Your program sounds wonderful, have you a website?

        Marie. you bloody rock girl, amazing attitude, advice and delivery. i am blessed to have found you, only recently..
        All you ladies, keep on loving yourself. it is the only step to freedom. Much love!

    • Melissa I love your reply and of course I love Marie’s video for today.

      Melissa: I too lived a very long time with “Whats wrong with me” and also “why is the world crazy” I had such negative thinking and believed for a very long time that I was blessed with bad luck in my life.

      I worked on myself A LOT. Lots of books, meetings, therapy (MD s well as through Church), meditation, yoga… In the end, everything I tried brought it all back to lil ‘ol ME! I still read books, meditate, yoga, work out, eat even better (vegan for lent). We DO have to be our biggest fan because it doesn’t matter if someone else says it to us for an hour or two when we are with ourselves 100% of the time. Your program sounds amazing, congratulations! I took have created my own way with sharing what I have learned through writing. My next book is called “Umbrellas In The Rain Guidebook: Find, Forgive, Accept Yourself” and it is full of self love, learning to listen to our thoughts and feelings, learning how to make those small shifts that really changes the world around: Mine from negative to positive. to Self-Love!

    • AWESOME with a capital A- Melissa! Just checked out your site. Great program! Cheers to us all being our biggest fans! Love that concept!

  6. Dee

    Hey Marie,
    Great video as always… so glad I found this site! 🙂

    I was reading a book about “wish magic” recently, and the author made an interesting point about how our unconscious mind takes everything we think literally and internalizes it, so if we keep telling ourselves that we suck, then our brain starts to believe it as the gospel truth… but if we flip it around, and practice “positive self talk” then our brain will eventually start to believe *that* instead, even if we don’t totally believe what we’re saying in our conscious mind. I’ve been trying this for a while now, and it seems to help cut a lot of negativity off at the pass. Just looking in the mirror while I’m brushing my hair or whatever, and reminding myself of all my good points and my strengths seems to have a palpable benefit, even if I feel a bit dorky when I’m doing it.

    Now I just have to convince myself that this comment is good enough to post…

  7. Hi Marie

    Isn’t “I am good enough” as true as “I am not good enough” would Byron Katie suggest.

    Thank you for all those inspiring videos 🙂

    Simone

    • Wonderful simple message. It seems so silly how we talk ourselves out of opportunities when it’s just as easy to talk ourselves into them.

    • marie

      Byron Katie’s work rocks (I’m a huge fan!) If you look at it from a place of usefulness, entertaining “I’m good enough” can allow you to experience more of life!

    • I was just thinking of Byron Katie! When a judgement about ourselves (or someone else) arises– she suggests that we ask a series of questions (I’m paraphrasing):

      #1- Is this judgement (thought) true?
      #2- Can I know with 100% certainty it’s true?
      #3- What’s the opposite of this thought?
      #4- What would my life (or business) look like without this judgement?

      Going through this questioning process is a great practice for times when you’re feeling self-doubt, fear or some other negative emotion.

      Noah St. John also has a great practice called Afformations, where instead of asking yourself questions like, “Why can’t I ever do anything right?”– ask, “Why am I so blessed?” “Why am I always at the right place at the right time?”

      • Hey Stacey – thanks for the Noah St. John idea – makes so much sense to turn it all around…

  8. Ahh that little voice – thanks for sharing that it never goes away … Telling it to shut up is important – the self-doubt and fear of uncertainty is normal – when I do something new I’d be suspicious if I didn’t question myself.

    Channelling it to turn it in to a positive is a challenge but important.

    Personally I make sure I have people around me I can bounce ideas with and help me spin that little voice around …

    I always aim to do the same with my clients – mindset is important, and even the most grounded successful people have the same fears … thanks for sharing Marie!

  9. mila

    Hi Marie,

    loved the video. Such a important topic.
    Two things: yoga and Louise Hay. When my head is having a total “let’s talk some nonsense”, yoga is the only thing that stops all my chatter. After that I can have a good meditation and all is well (thank you Davidji).

    The wonderful and amazing Louise Hay. Slowly and little by little, when you just love your self, all is well. And a bit of laughter.

    • As I was scrolling down to leave my comment and reading through all the previous comments, I saw yours, Mila, about Louise Hay. I wholeheartedly second that suggestion! I read from one of her books, or listen audio downloads of hers every day. Like she says, loving the self is the key to everything. : )

  10. I LOVE The Power of Now in audio book, it left me with soooo many ‘oh yeh’ moments. Keeping that up is quite difficult, I think listening to it on repeat may be a good idea. Thanks as always for this post Marie and I hope you’re looking after yourself, you voice sounds a little croaky? Tell Josh you need waiting on hand and foot! 😉

    • marie

      I’m all good – thank you for asking! I get raspy sometimes after loads of talking. Josh finds it sexy 🙂

  11. Great video! I actually do the same thing. When you project your attention on how you can help or serve others it gets you out of that inner spiral downward with the negative self talk.
    Another pattern interrupt technique I use is a loose fitting rubberband around my wrist and give it a little snap when negative thoughts pop up. Robert Anthony taught me that one. It’s
    like your very own primitive taser:) gets you out of your negative mind loop fast.

  12. veronica

    Hi Marie! so great again!

    I realized that when i thank that part of me (for letting me know about that…) and tell her I am there for her, she gets relaxed and lets me do my stuff. I bring a lot of love to her and that improves things a lot for me. I find it’s like a young part of me which is really “feeling” so hugely that she is not good at all so a bit of love of comfort and there we go! and by the way i learn self love at the same time it’s great actually, more difficult around money though… i did not get that part yet,

  13. I’ve learned from Brene Brown (“I Thought It Was Just Me” and “The Gifts of Imperfection”) that another antidote for those “I’m not good enough” thoughts is to practice saying–often and a lot: I am enough!

    Thanks, Marie, for sharing that you have these same, as you call it, “factory default setting” thoughts. And you’re absolutely right that changing them requires practice. But we are SO worth it, aren’t we!

  14. Great video!

    I know I suffer with this, but never found a good way to deal with it…. it can be hard to see the answers sometimes….. Thanks Marie!

    • marie

      You’re welcome Mandy!

  15. stephen q shannon

    Having followed Seth Godin starting in the early 90s (before it was fashionable) I learned about the reptilian or “lizard” brain in the base of our skulls that delivers large helpings of doubt. Now I love challenging the lizard and see it slither away as it did the day before my first glider (soaring) flight. T Harv Eker says, “Record five victories every day.” Helps crowd out the bounty of negative thoughts contained in the estimated 12,000 we experience every waking day. Yes or yes?

  16. A brilliant teacher told me this and do not underestimate its power;
    The moment a thought rears its head say (internally or externally)
    “This is not me, this is not my nature. I am ……(the positive stuff)…Love is my nature.”

    ;0)

    • marie

      Love it Jennifer!

  17. Love this and just what I need to hear – again and again! I am an EFT practitioner and tap those thoughts away….great to swiftly make that change and focus on the “other”. Thank you Marie, as always…xxxx

    • I couldn’t agree with you more Claire about EFT. It has helped me immensely with the negative stuff that tends to effortlessly seep into one’s days. Keep it up. EFT is on the brink of taking over the world. I feel it. 🙂

  18. Great Q and A!

    I have a trick that flips my breakers like magic:

    Instead of asking myself am I doing it perfectly??…

    I ask myself am I DOING IT?

    Just being in the game, that’s what counts most!

    😀

    • Shakaya-
      Great to see you here. I love how you put your unique self out there into the game.

      cate

    • marie

      NICE Shakaya 🙂

  19. Yes. I can. Thank you. (My affirmation)

    The yes is my call to create, to do, to draw in energy. The I can is movement. It is ever present, a beautiful space to hold as truth. It is my doing and believing all wrapped together. The thank you is my gratitude to my source, my body, my spirit.

    • Hannah, I’m going to start using that! There is just an instant relief, like and exhale, when you say this statement to yourself. It is very difficult to hold onto negative self images after saying it. Thank you so very much for sharing!

      Have a nice weekend,
      Kamina <3

  20. Love this one. Struggled with it all of my life – thought it was because my mother died when I was a kid but since working with many other creatives I have understood it’s just the way it is.

    The higher you aim the bigger the BS that comes up to test you!

    I created a system to get through it and found it so valuable that I turned it into a book to help others too. ‘Confidence in High Heels.’

    One of my biggest life-savers is making sure I schedule in ‘me time’ every day so I stay on track and stay in love with myself – then those feelings of ‘I’m not good enough’ are less likely to come up.

    Thanks Marie. You’re an absolute queen for sharing all this wonderful stuff.

  21. Mindy Kannon

    When I get that “I’m not good enough” feeling I say out loud, “oh yeah wanna bet?” and take the biggest step towards my goal that I can. That gets me fired up and committed. It eliminates the ability to turn back.

    • marie

      “Wanna bet?” You and I have the same kind of inner fire Mindy 🙂

    • I love this Mindy! Thanks for sharing

  22. Elizabeth Walsh

    Hi Marie! I love you! I really enjoy your insightful advice and your humour – you do it in a loving and fun way. What I do to get over self-doubt is yoga, fitness training to build strong muscles, cardio training, meditation and I practice being assertive. I also listen to music and sing and dance, as well as spend time with people who are positivie and who really love me! XOXO

  23. Rick

    I like Todd Norian’s take on this. Give that little negative voice in your mind a name…call it the IBSC (the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee). When you feel the IBSC convening remember that’s just what they do. You can ignore those little voices and move on.

    • Rick –
      I was just going to send Todd an email, it’s fun to see his name here in the comments of Marie’s blog. I might borrow your IBSC. It’s got a nice ring to it… plus the multi-voice perspective.

  24. Kalynn

    First, I panic.
    When I’m done (approx. 60 seconds later) I get angry that the stupid thought even entered my mind. Reminding myself of ALL the many successes helps dispel the thought and I’m ready to rock and roll. Watch out world, here I come.

  25. YES! Way to go Marie! Thank you for addressing such an important topic.

    We were not meant to suffer our way to joy.
    Awareness is the key.
    Love is practice.

    Rocking it like I mean it!

    Robin

  26. Oh, that evil ego! My method is similar to yours, I mentally say, “Thanks for sharing!” and then affirm the thought. So, the crazy conversation goes like this:

    Ego: “Do you REALLY think you can help this person…I mean, REALLY?”

    My Higher Power: “Um, ye-ah! Thanks for sharing, though…”

    Me outloud: “I am the answer to this person’s need. She found me, she believes in me, and so do I. I will transform her life now.”

    Done!

  27. Mayi Carles told me the same thing: just do the work and focus on something else than your toughts. I believe it’s an awesome advice because it’s works, yes, it takes time and practice because it’s hard sometimes to stop listening the voice. This one always bring some nasty feelings attached 🙂
    I’m working on it. Just beeing focused on doing things has helped me a lot.
    Marie, have I told you latetly there I adore you? What as inspiration!!!

    • marie

      Thank you Marta 🙂

  28. Love this, Marie. Focussing on the ones we serve instead of looking inwards at these times is a fantastic way to look at it.
    I remind myself of the connection to Spirit. And that I am always working in that service. No point sitting about worrying if I’m good enough when the gods themselves are telling me to bloody well get on with it 😉
    Kay x

  29. Wellness with Melissa

    Thanks Marie, I always need this reminder to create a system to get out of the “I suck” funk. My mind is a chiacchierona (chatterbox in Italian) and I let it get me down. I like the idea of acknowledging it, saying “no thanks” then focus on who I’m helping. It’s never about me!

    Thanks for the great info!

    • marie

      Love this “chiacchierona” Melissa. Thanks for sharing!

  30. This is my constant battle! Lately I’m in many new projects and personal situation that push me outside my confort zone and that make me constantly question my value.

    Good to hear it doesn’t get better with time 😉 and that you just learn to handle it.

  31. Marie, as always this is fabulous! I completely agree that the “I’m not good enough” thought is one we all have to battle. I see it with my business clients, my fourth grade daughters class, myself and my friends. I focus on a few things…
    1. Everything in life is about “practice”. You are sharpening your skills always!
    2. Business, you, your clients, and life for that matter is ever changing so you are always able to grow from your last experience. (i.e. By the time you “master” something, it has changed so you get to go at it again)
    3. I call my best friend who is my biggest fan to remind me how awesome I am 🙂

    • marie

      So sweet to have a best friend to do that for ya!

  32. So many great suggestions here to stop the negative self-talk, awesome!

    There are a few things I practice regularly to stop that voice, and they mainly revolve around reinforcing the belief that I’m resourceful and have successfully completed new projects and hit goals in the past.

    – For about 3 years I’ve been in the habit of writing out a “This Week’s Successes” list every Sunday, where I write down every victory, major or minor, from the previous week. Then during the week, if I’m feeling self-doubt or anxiety about a new project or goal, I review my “Success” lists — this reminds me that I’ve overcome challenges before, and that I’ve accomplished lots of kick-ass stuff in the past, which gets my thinking back on track in the now!
    – Sometimes I do something similar at the end of the day as well. I call this my “Feel Good List,” where every time something happens in my business that makes me feel good, I write it down on my “feel good” list. Like, “I billed a client for 25 hours of work today and it feels so good,” or, “I got some really nice feedback on the article I just delivered to Client X, and it feels so good,” etc.
    – Everyday I put the “good stuff” in my head first thing in the morning and last thing at night by reading something positive and uplifting like Louise Hay or similar.
    – I remind myself that the point of power is always in the present moment, and since I can choose what to think and believe, why not choose to believe in myself?

    Of course it’s a practice, and occasionally self-doubt still wins the day, but just knowing I have practices I can rely on to get me out of the “I’m not good enough” funk is a huge mood booster.
    And of course, as Marie points out, coming back to the moment and re-engaging in the task at hand is stellar advice too! : )

    • Kimberly,

      I like the idea of This Week’s Successes” list. Sometimes I need a quick reminder of what I have accomplished, especially on the rough weeks. Thanks, I will try it out.

  33. I am definitely on the ‘MOVE’ bandwagon. I go for a walk or do the dishes or something. If it’s still hanging around I dedicate an EFT session to it – I sit down in front of the mirror and write down everything that comes to me about it. Then I read what I wrote out loud as I tap and look at myself saying it in the mirror. Stuff always comes up and just learning to be present to it is a cool side effect of practising EFT. This is a great blog post!

    • Couldn’t agree with you more about the EFT. I use it frequently and love it. It brings me back to a grounded reality and definitely calms the negative chatter.

    • EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), meridian tapping… Carol Look is a fantastic resource for this too. I practice this too!

  34. Good one M.

    What I have learned through my channels is that when I compare my insides to someone else’s outsides, I always loose. What I do is simple….adopt a slogan like you suggested and move on.

    I like Josh’s “I’m back” statement and use it quite often.

    Holla!

    • “Don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides” is almost a daily mantra for me. Love it.

  35. If someone is having a tough time and is full of self-doubt I simply remind them to “be kind to yourself.” It helps to take the pressure off themselves and focus on the task in hand.
    Another way is to imagine yourself as a child again, standing in front of yourself giving you every reason under the sun why you aren’t good enough, can’t do something, etc., etc. What would you say to this child? That’s right, you would be kind to her and probably tell her to stop thinking those negative thoughts, believe in herself and just get on with it. You wouldn’t talk mean to a child so don’t do it to yourself! Nuff said.
    Thanks for all your stuff Marie – loving it over here in England.

  36. Debbie G.

    Hi Marie,
    Glad I’m back on the list this week – I had to go hunting for my Tuesday Fix last week 🙂
    This is a great video and such a turbo boost piece of advice. I have a bunch of quotes on bright blue cards on a board by my desk to help me turn my negative moments around. Here are a few:
    “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
    “If I can just get it started, I can pull this off!” Dale Chihuly
    “It’s time to feel the fear and do it anyway.” Jack Canfield
    Thanks again for your advice and inspiration! – Deb

    • marie

      Awesome Deb! I love that Emerson quote too.

  37. Giirrrrlll!

    Every Tuesday you seem to be in my head as well as in my inbox! I’m sooooo grateful!

    Wow I didn’t realise this was so common – I suppose it’s taboo to a certain degree. Thanks for airing out this naughty ‘demon’ and helping us to work out how to deal with it.

    To get past these feelings, I think back to when I paraglided in the Alps or performed at the Royal Festival Hall and sit with that feeling of invincibility, power for doing something that I loved and it was a ‘helluva lotov’ fun. I then transpose those feelings to present time while in my mind I’m saying ‘Let’s do this, Yes I Can or Just do it’.

    So to all of you who don’t feel good enough – you are more than enough – Let’s do this!

    x

    • marie

      oooh! Paragliding in the Alps, what an awesome visual 🙂 Thanks for that!

  38. Classic and historical Monkey Mind BS. It’s like a damn “vacuum salesmen” at your door that won’t go away.

    I am driven by fear. When my monkey mind starts to go crazy I sit with it, get real cozy and breath it in, eventually (sometimes takes a while) I get through it. Each time it gets easier and easier.

    Although, I did find the more I pushed myself the more anxiety and overwhelm I was experiencing.

    Its always a give and take, a balance.

    I love your videos each week Marie. I always feel so connected, inspired and it feels good to know your human 🙂

    • Laura Spradley

      Heather,
      I love your honesty about overwhelm. I flirt with it a lot.

      Sometimes I just give myself
      ONE completely do-able goal + permission to tackly ONLY that one goal.

      The sheer relief of getting something done creates new energy.
      For that day I’m un-stuck.

      Thanks for being real, Maria! Laughing at myself always works.
      Laura

  39. Sometimes I literally have to lean into trust, embrace blind faith, give up expectations while moving forward. When my inner critic is really stirring up a storm I try to focus on the tiniest of tiny steps – doing those and at least moving forward even with the weight of all those negative thoughts pushing down on me.

    It really depends on how much freedom I’ve given my inner critic – the worst is when I’ve let them have free reign (which, oh my, I am in one of those states right about now). So it’s tiny steps for me right now and a kind of knowing that work will bring about some results which will give me something to build on and eventually the voice will become quieter (what I trust in)

  40. Cyndi Smith

    Marie as always your timing is IMPECCABLE!!!!
    I was going through this exact same scenario this morning. My brain went totally into “default mode” and I started to feel as though I were absolutely not good enough! So, what I did was cut myself some slack! I got up and moved AWAY from the desk, made a cuppa, and put an old song on that was sure to get me feeling empowered… I Am Woman by Helen Reddy (oldie but a goodie!). Before I knew it I was feeling strong, invincible and totally positive. And then I decided I didn’t really care if I wasn’t good enough, I was just gonna do what I was doing anyway! 🙂

  41. Hey Marie!

    I really like what you said about putting the focus outside of yourself. Alfred Adler was an Austrian psychotherapist and founder of the school of individual psychology who once famously said that he could cure any mental illness with a “Fourteen-Day Cure Plan.” The plan consisted of doing one thing for someone else every day for fourteen days.

    I think what Adler was getting at was that we lose our doubts when we do something as an offering.

    Because if we’re offering something for free, with no strings attached, then we know that what we’re doing—whether it’s leaving a casserole with a sick neighbor or leading a Get Out the Vote effort—won’t leave anyone with an opening to criticize or demean our effort.

    And if no one else has that opening, then neither do we—and our fears about how we look, or whether we might fail, or whether someone will shut the door in our faces will be that much less likely to surface.

    With those fears out of the way, we can focus on what we want to do—and enjoy the challenges that crop up. It’s all part of the journey, right?

    • marie

      AWESOME Stacey, I really love the Adler 14 Day Cure Plan – so rockin!

  42. Awesome video! I’m a fan of the “Thanks for sharing beeyatch” method. Whenever I get those I’m not good enough feelings I focus on what I have accomplished and then thank my inner mean girl for sharing and get back to whatever it is I’m trying to do. Sometimes I can get pretty hooked into that feeling and that’s when I may take five minutes to throw myself a pity party and then ask myself what’s true. The truth is I’m freaking awesome and those I’m not good enough thoughts that probably served as a security blanket at some point are big fat lies.
    Love the idea of focusing on how your work serves others, I’ll have to throw that in my toolbox for when it gets a bit real.

  43. When I think “I’m not good enough,” I ask myself, “For whom am I not good enough?” Usually the answer is that I’m not good enough for someone else. Many of us are people pleasers and live up to the standards of others, wanting to please them, but then there are those of us who are perfectionists and push those standards to nearly unreachable heights. By fairly setting my standards, looking to please myself, and giving myself encouragement and love along the way, I’m able to deal with the “I’m not good enoughs.”

  44. LOVE! Especially the part about turning our attention onto how we can best serve others. THANK YOU for your always fabulous insight Marie!

    • I agree that was a lightbulb moment for me. I am more than happy to serve others in my business, I am more than happy to focus on that rather than what my shortcomings may or may not be!

  45. Marie, I have a successful online business and I also do business consulting for one of the top iGURU’s and I’m bonkers about you and the advice you give on your Q and A Tuesdays.

    I recommend you to all my clients, men and women because you ROCK in almost all departments.

    I started out in Venice, I hope you LOVE it there.
    SAM

    • marie

      Sweet SAM . . . or is it Scott? Dude, give us the 411 and thanks a milz for spreading the word 🙂

  46. Thanks for the fabulous video. I guess I didn’t realize how common this issue was for other people. What I really find cool is all of the wonderful comments, which are full of really cool tips and advice. You are all kinda awesome! 😉

  47. Sylvia A

    Great video! It’s taken me a lonnng time to realize that certain things just aren’t going to go away and self doubt is one of them. It makes you human and if there’s one thing we women have it’s feelings! It’s OK – have your moment – there will be many more. I find when I am feeling sorry for myself, I think of something I learned from the grey ladies in my family. They were sugar and spice and everything nice – but TOUGH!! They would always say:

    “God won’t do for you what you can do for yourself!”

  48. Amy

    Love it – the piece that stood out to me, and that will stick in my head, is the idea that if you are simply focusing all of your energy and efforts toward your goal and being your best, there is no room to wonder if you’re good enough. Thanks Marie.

  49. If anyone is looking for another great resource in addition to Marie’s MEMWY, check out Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. I think her techniques for transforming the subconscious mind are spot on. I definitely make positive affirmations a part of my every day, and I prescribe them to my patients.

  50. When those ‘not good enough thoughts come’, I remind myself that statement is just a story I’ve created, but one that is not necessarily true. It’s just a PART of me, but not all of me, and there are many other parts that are most likely up for the challenge of what is before me. Once the story gets put up on a shelf like an old book, I can usually move fearlessly forward with the parts of me that don’t believe or care to use the story.

  51. A great tool I learned from Dallas Travers is to use the wiring of the brain to work for, not against you. Our subconscious mind is often asking questions, which we then look for evidence to support. “Why do I suck?” “Why can’t I make a sale?” “Why is this so hard”. And suddenly there are reasons to support why you do, indeed suck. Dallas speaks about changing the questions to support you – “Why do opportunities just fall into my lap?” “When did life become so awesome?” and let your mind find evidence to support what is possible, instead of what sucks.

  52. Thanks for the reminders!

    “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good” – Gretchen Rubin

    This saying really stuck with me. Usually we are being perfectionists when we stop out of fear, but if everyone…even brilliant people…never did anything due to waiting to be perfect nothing amazing would ever be accomplished! Good is good enough! And even if you fail…it is refining you for the next time.

    I also reflect on all of the positive emails and affirmations I’ve received over the years when I’m doubtful.

    Some books that have really helped me with my mindset are:
    Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman
    Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy
    How We Choose To Be Happy

    They all have advice on how to shift your mindset.

    PS Marie: I just had my first paying client as a holistic health coach and I used one of your lines on them! “Remember: When you say ‘yes’ to something you are saying ‘no’ to something else.” The client had been resistant to something and this reasoning really hit home. I think we all had goose bumps! Love you!!!!

  53. Great advice Marie!

    I used to go do something to take my mind off that annoying crabby ass voice in my head until I just couldn’t stand not moving forward – then I’d kick things into high gear.

    But recently my own coach posted something on Facebook that totally stuck with me and gets me moving even faster.

    “If the voice in your mind was an actual friend, how long would that friendship last?” ~ Wendy Billie, Adrenazen

    Totally puts things in perspective!

  54. Kim

    Thank you…Thank you…Thank you…
    This message could not have not came at a better time…
    One practice a girlfriend of mine had started years ago is saying “It don’t make a sh*t!”

    It’s a way of letting go and moving on. Giving life the best we have, and to keep moving on.

  55. I will share this vid with EVERYONE, Marie! That fear of not being good enough really is our factory-default setting, isn’t it?

    My tarot mentor, Theresa Reed, did the best thing she could do for me by assigning me to read The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. It really helped me with the issue of “not good enough” “new kid on the block” “resistance” “self-sabotage” BS.

    When the little voice in my head says, “you’re not good enough…” I say back, out loud: SHUT UP! 🙂

  56. Really great message, thank you!

    I write a list of people who have changed their life with my help and because I had been courageous enough to start a new project (I am a coach))).

    Helps a lot!

  57. You oughta be in pictures girl! You have the “it” factor! Great post, comme d’habitude! Thank you so much for your loving and joyful inspiration (and information) coming right at us in our inboxes every Tuesday!! Love it!

  58. Marie! I love this topic and YES, we all have fear of the “enoughs” however what makes people different is how we each DEAL with it. In helping women break through their food and body barriers to have their life (and business!) bloom, I see the “not good enough”, “not thin enough”, “not smart enough” thoughts come up for my clients all day, every day. These thoughts are the quickest way to self-sabotage and stagnation in personal happiness, health and business. The first step in clearing this sh*t, it sharing it. By letting it out it can’t fester in your brain or body. I just wrote an article all on turning your FEAR into FRICTION that is super-crazy useful when addressing the “enoughs”. http://jamieliving.com/2012/03/3-steps-to-turn-fear-into-friction/ Thanks again for hittin’ this super juicy topic!

  59. I’m still learning how to deal with my fear, which I turn into procrastination. Thank you all for sharing your advice. Hopefully it will help me get past my fears.

  60. Dana

    My coach Karen taught me to simply put my hand on my abdomen and acknowledge the feeling. Nothing more than that. It just wants to be recognized and not ignored
    . So I put my hand there and say, “Oh, that’s what inadequacy feels like.” Or, “Ah, that’s what self-doubt feels like.” No extra energy or focus. Just acknowledge and move on. This really works 🙂

    • Amazing Q & A. Thanks for acknowledging that EVERYONE goes through this – easy to forget! I love all the advice as well. Dana talked about putting her hand on her abdomen and acknowledging the feeling – LOVE that. I use writing (left hand/right hand) to dig in to why fear, worry, anxiety etc. is coming up. I ALWAYS discover that there is a very valid reason, a part of me that is genuinely afraid. By giving that part of me a voice and extending compassion I find that it quiets down and I’m able to move forward much more easily. Thanks again Marie – a beautiful group of amazing soul sisters here. xoxo

  61. One of my cures for “I’m not good enough?” I found it with these amazing women:
    http://www.femininepower.com

    they rock…..they have tons of practices that can get you out of that downward spiral for good…and totally uplevel your life!

  62. Ahh Marie, I almost fell off my chair when Eckhart’s voice came on! Hilarious… I watched that part three times before moving on 😉

    And yes, yes, yes. Turning the spotlight outwards is definitely THE key to silencing the inner mean girl. How may I serve, how may I serve, how may I serve?

    Two other things I like to do the get over my fears:

    1. Get out of my mind and into my body. Dancing, shaking, yoga, breathing. Different things work on different days.

    2. Envision the project from beyond the completion date. Really get into the feeling of how wonderful it feels that it turned out so beautifully and just savor THAT. Or, as David Allen says: “Envision WILD SUCCESS”.
    Then from that space – move into action.

    Love from Amsterdam
    xoxo
    Ronja

  63. shantala

    when i feel a negative thought come up or something smarmy…i say the words ‘cancel cancel’ out loud and snap at the sky…laugh like a monkey. wherever i am. then i pull out the list of 5 things i ADORE about me that others don’t have and remember why i’m a gift. ( the list of 5 items changes once a month)

  64. I do this so much I’ve tended to believe it in the past. Lately – as I’m trying to work past a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship – I’ve given myself a lot of slack. I’ve learned that I not only had expectations of other people to work through but I had the highest expectations of myself to work through as well. It was a debilitating thought process. So, lately, as I’m drawing a new picture and I notice a flaw I tell myself “Lindsay, only you will ever see that!” and move on. In the past with my business – I make things – I never did the bookkeeping because I secretly would tell myself it doesn’t matter because I won’t be a success. I’d always keep my receipts just in case, but I’d never be on top of things. Now, I’m forcing myself to do the bookkeeping. I found a great MRP program and am in the throws of organizing my stash and inventory. I’m doing it in baby steps because I have a TON of stash that needs inventoried, but I won’t let myself get away with not getting it done. This time, whether my endeavors are a success or not, it won’t matter. What matters is I take a non-judgemental stance for myself so that others judgement – remember the abusive relationship part – won’t affect me. I’m truly not my own worst critic – have you met my ex? – but I was in the top 2, and I’m done downing on myself. Moving on. 😀

  65. shatara nichols

    i really need to hear this.
    i just started a new job as a waitress i was having a panic attack for like a hour when i first go there.
    then once i remebered that i have experience with this job i started to relax and felt better the rest of the night.
    i just have to either occupy my mind by listening to music or taking a long brisk walk on a beautiful day.
    thanks for the videos.

  66. Cathy

    The number one thing that helps me get over the feeling is just to remember that other people, just like you, are fighting their head too! The two things I got from this site that helped tremendously were the Stephen Pressfield interview (and of course reading his book), and something you said in a past Marie TV – “Today, I got the perfect amount done!”

  67. I love that you mention that self-doubt is something we all deal with. It really helps alleviate the pressure because sometimes we see people who are so self-confident we wonder if they ever have self-doubt. It helps me to not feel like an incompetent loser. 🙂

    As far as techniques, whenever I am doubting myself or my “inner-hater” is coming out, I yell “STOP” either aloud or in my head (depending on where I am). Instantly the focus is shifted from my negative thought to stopping it. I definitely think putting yourself into the actual work helps. Get so busy that that you have no time to even acknowledge that she-devil.

    As always, amazing video Marie!

  68. It has been super helpful for me to have a tribe of like-minded folks who are also entrepreneurs to keep me from falling into a funk or believing the negative chatter my mind throws at me. I also try to keep a top-five list of things that must get done for the day at my desk (I’m pretty sure you taught me that one!) If I get those done, then hell, the day was a success!

  69. This was SO me yesterday and I just could not pull myself out of my self-pity and self-blame. So I did what any good Southern girl would do: Call Mama! Yes, she’s biased but she believes in me from the deepest part of her soul and snatched me right up out of my funk. Shout out to all the moms who are tireless advocates for their kids! Even if we don’t say it often enough, we reeeaaaallly appreciate it : )

    • I second this…a call to my family always gets me back on the road to awesomeness!

  70. When every I hear that voice, I’m reminded that I must be stepping into something new, bigger and better. Keeping the focus on the people I am serving is such a fantastic tip.

    Telling the people that I feel intimidated by how awesome they are has helped to keep my inner critic at bay, and has let to some great business relationships!

    Thanks Marie!
    xo,
    Jessica

  71. Jordana

    Whenever those thoughts come up- I try to remember times when I was not only “good enough”, but rocked! I remind myself of all the great things about me that I have to offer the world and try to embody that mind set. It also helps if I can put myself in a position where I can help another feel good/better. Having a positive impact (no matter how small) is one of the best ways I have found to shift my thinking from “I suck” to “I am awesome”.

  72. Oh, I always feel that, but thanks to your advice Marie, now I know what to do.

  73. Thanks Marie!

    I needed that today!

  74. Thank You Marie!! I feel like you are reading my mind every Tuesday…..

    I recently heard a quote that stated:

    “The number one reason for unhappiness is comparison.”

    Talk about a light bulb moment, If I wasn’t comparing myself to someone else, I was comparing my current life to the past or what I hoped the future would be.

    I now try my best to stay present and reading Eckhart’s The Power of Now every few months is a great reminder.

  75. Bobby Powell

    Thank you so much for creating this video! I was researching ways to be more confident, and then I found your news letter talking about the same thing! Great timing!

    You are an awesome person, and this is an awesome website!

  76. Hi all….I just finished creating a spoken word poetry video (with my 2 partners) that addresses exactly this: dealing with self-doubt in the creative process. For me, it’s about making yourself available for inspiration to flow. When you are in the middle of the creating, the doubts and fears simply melt away.

    http://vimeo.com/38354953

  77. Love it Marie! You rock! “Thanks for sharing Biatch…now get back to kickin’ ass”…. As a crazy lady who talks outloud to herself often-( I just realized it’s one my personal techniques) – this will be one of my new mantra’s! It’s like stepping out of your head and coaching yourself:-)

  78. When I start to feel like this, I ask myself: when was the last time I ate? Have I been getting enough sleep? Last but not least when was the last time I had some me time, which could be as simple as taking a break outside:) When these have been met I’m a lot less likely to feel bad about myself:)

  79. Thanks for sharing… given that I’m probably only guy commenting here, I wanted to send my love and thanks for you’re awesome weekly videos.

    Much respect!
    Ja Azura

  80. This topic is so important to me especially since I’ve been have a lot of “I’m-not-good-enough” thoughts running through my head of late. What I do to get back to my happy, balanced and positive self is 1) take time out to be grateful for the good in my life right now 2) give myself a rundown of all my achievements and accomplishments for that day. These two ideas alone pack a major punch and really do get me through these not-so-desireable funks.

  81. I have a secret weapon just for this! It’s called letters of love…or something like that…I just made that up 😉

    I have a folder in my email that has testimonials, kind notes or emails that I’ve gotten from friends and business peeps. When in doubt I go there and their positive words energize me, remind me that I kick ass and get me back to rocking my biz!

    And if that doesn’t work, I call my family for a pep talk…they are the best cheerleaders on the planet!

  82. Oh yeah…and get anyone that isn’t rooting you on, that creates drama or self doubt, OUT OF YOUR LIFE! Simple 🙂

  83. Barbie

    This was fantastic!! Keep on sending ’em..daily dose works as well!!

  84. Tahlee

    Self-doubt is my protector. Fear is my safety blanket. Shame is my shelter. These emotions give me messages that are important to heed. These messages alert me that I have moved from a place of authenticity and power.

    So then I ask myself “what do I really want? what do I need? and how can I give it to myself?”.

    Perhaps I want rest. Perhaps I need to be inspired. Perhaps I want reassurance. And then the possibilities are endless. I can calm and center myself with my breath, I can call an encouraging friend, I can read inspiring stories online, I can have a nap. I use kindness and clarity to acknowledge the fearful messages and transform them into meeting my needs.

    When I get clear about what I want, everything falls into place.

  85. Tahlee, I love how you turn self-doubt from a negative to a motivatorand catalyst to find what lies beneath.

    • Tahlee

      Thanks Fajr!
      It’s taken me a long time and patience to learn to nurture, listen to my true self, and practice loving-kindness. I’m still on my journey (aren’t we all :D) but I wanted to share my process because I guess we all long to teach that which we need to learn…

      • Tahlee

        ps – L.O.V.E your website 🙂

  86. Great message today Marie,
    It is such a relief to know that I’m not alone.
    And that all I need to do is focus my thoughts outside of myself.
    Help others, move forward and get things done.
    Thank you, I’m passing this one on!
    Lana

  87. As a hypnotherapist I of course use hypnosis and self-hypnosis to see the truth. When we say and agree that “we are not our mind”, but keep believing what we think about ourselves, that’s insanity.

    It’s one thing to be told and to believe that we are not our mind, it’s another to KNOW who we really are. Some spiritual seekers spend their whole life doing just that, so it takes practice.

    Meanwhile, as Marie said, everybody’s mind is conditioned to think “I suck”, then what? What would “the unconditioned dimention of me” say?

    Regardless if you hear the answer or not, you can go and do what you want to do, even though the mind is saying something different. For me, that’s freedom! The mind is free to think whatever it wants to think. And I do whatever my heart desires me to do!

  88. This is definitely the question that I keep asking myself. I feel like I’m still too young to start my own business and I don’t know enough to actually teach people about health. I just got back from vacation in California and there I decided that I’m going to start dressing older than my age and embracing my age (sometimes I just don’t want to grow up!) and just by doing that I’ve felt older and good enough! It’s already starting to rub off on my business. Kind of a simple fix but it’s really been working for me!

  89. Everybody has usually managed through some pretty difficult times – so when I feel not good or strong enough – I remind my mind that I also managed this, this and this … consequently the task at hand become more doable in a second.

    Reminding yourself about what you already achieved or endured in life, is certainly a help but I think that everybody needs to find his or her own way of conquering the inner self-doubts.

  90. I remind myself daily to focus on positive thoughts rather than negative thoughts. But is isn’t easy and takes daily practice. When I stop repeating my negative thoughts and bring more attention to my happy thoughts I feel more secure about myself. I believe in positive thinking so much that I based my whole business around this practice!

    • I’m relaying this from my partner Buck and I concur.
      He says “I remind myself that this piece of furniture that I am making for someone is not the business I am in. It’s merely the particular way that the business I am in shows up. I am in the people business, just like you, just like everyone else who works, whether they are wage-earners or entrepreneurs. I don’t know why, but this thought seems to erase any concern I have about being good enough and replaces that concern with a more natural, child like feeling of eagerness to be helpful.”

  91. I tell myself to DO IT ANYWAY – even if it isn’t perfect, even if I’m scared, even if I’m tired. Do it anyway. This seems to break through a lot of barriers, and leads to less and less time BS-ing myself into reasons to do nothing. (PS: I love the video;)

  92. As normal Marie, you hit the nail on my head, but I was living with it.

    DAMN IT I KNOW I AM THE BEST . I HAVE MILLIONS OF FANS, XXXXXXXXXXXX So goodbye to that bugger of Doubt every time I have to release a new song.

    I have that unique voice and sound , so that is why I have millions of fans, but when I have to learn a new song my world starts again and can be crap, but then it becomes my normal original Elainee.

    So yes new songs, projects are scary even for a well known artist. We never want to lose our fans, they are our or my life.

    Good bye doubt

    Thanks Girl

    Lova Ya

    Elainee

  93. Thanks, Marie – I was just on an accountability call with friends this morning telling them I’m really struggling with my confidence. I’m getting ready to launch my first-ever book and I’m creating programs to go with it. I’ve been on a steep learning curve and sometimes I think I’m kidding myself. Your video was very timely. I want to be YOU when I grow up (and we can ignore that I’m way older than you are!) Thanks for the energy you bring to what you do!

  94. Great tips Marie!! We all struggle with this, specially when starting something new!

  95. I love that you mention that this doesn’t “go away” just because you’ve reached a certain point. I used to think (wish) that once I accomplished X I would have made it and be 100% confident and never have those not-good-enough worries again. But I did, and I do… and I think part of what i’ve come to accept is that growth calls that out in me. And if I’m *not* feeling a bit of that then perhaps i’m not pushing myself enough? It’s become part of my touchstone for growth, even if it sucks at times. 🙂

  96. I find that when I think I’m not good enough, actually, I am comparing myself to others. Then I remind myself that I don’t need to be like other people, that I am exactly in the right place for me, going at the right pace for me as I learn new things. Also, that I am not only good enough for lots of clients, but exactly the right person for some clients and maybe not right for others and you know, that’s ok.

  97. “thanks for sharing beeeatch – and get back to kicking @ss!”

    Whenever fears crop up, I do few things (1) recognize that it’s me recoiling back into my comfort zone, (2) recognize that I must be on the right track regarding personal growth and the growth of my business, (3) recognize that fear is the opposite of faith and (4) check out my success scrapbook – things that I was scared to do but did anyway!

    • Kiana Jones

      I love the idea of a success scrapbook. I actually have 2 books my mom started of my awards, report cards, etc from elementary thorugh high school. I never even thought about continuing after high school. Great tips!

  98. Marie, as usual, you rocked my world with your video! I was goin’ down that road, and I saw the email from you and said to myself, “Self, you need some Marie today!” Boy, am I glad I listened.

    Here’s what’s funky: I am BRILLIANT at helping others out of their own way, but myself? Evidently, I slipped a bit today. Thanks for nudging me back on the track.

    So, what I do with my clients: I invite them to write out Gratitudes and Atta-girls every day. Ten gratitudes – but 5 of them MUST be about them! Their willingness to apologize, great legs, or whatever. Then, 3 Atta-girls: successes to celebrate, whether they happened in the past 24 hours or past 24 years.

    Rock on, chica! You amaze me!
    Heather

  99. This is where the most important self-help saying comes into play:

    BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!

    When self-doubt creeps in, I get quiet – get real – and connect to my inner goddess that reminds me of why I’m pursuing my path so passionately. I wouldn’t have been given the desire or ability to make my dreams happen if it wasn’t something I could do.

    But yes, that nagging voice it like a dripping faucet that I want to shout at: Shut Up!! LOL and close the door 😉

  100. Kiana Jones

    This was great and a good reminder to keep pushing forward and not let the doubts that creep into your head paralyze you. I get over the fear of “Not Good Enough” by 1. Recognize that it is indeed just fear and not true 2. Remind myself that I can do anything I put my mind to 3. Recollect all the others things I have accomplished that I thought I couldn’t. 4. Tell myself, ” You are smart”, ” You can do it”, “Don’t be afraid of anything”, and pray for Faith.

  101. This was great and a good reminder to keep pushing forward and not let the doubts that creep into your paralyze you. I get over the fear of “Not Good Enough” by 1. Recognize that it is indeed just fear and not true 2. Remind myself that I can do anything I put my mind to 3. Recollect all the others things I have accomplished that I thought I couldn’t. 4. Tell myself “ You are smart “, “ You can do it”, “ Don’t be afraid”, and pray for Faith.

  102. Evy

    Great topic! I think we’re all guilty of this. I’ve gotten pretty good at ignoring that voice, but once in a while it still pops up…. but then I tell myself “If your clients believe in you, why wouldn’t you?”. And then I keep plugging away. 🙂

  103. Marie,
    You’ve obviously added mind reading of the masses to the impressive list of talent you have 🙂 There’s been 2 things that has really helped me recently

    1. Starting with the good report. We can always not be happy with what we think we can’t do instead of focusing on what we have accomplished and what have completed… ya know, the ol pat yo self on the back.

    2. To overcome the doubt, by just doing 3 things at a time to move me in the direction of where I want to go. I got this from yo boy Joe Polish @ the ILOVEMarketing meetup. It has been working for me.

    You’re the best!

  104. I get the same thoughts sometimes but that’s when I take a break! Then I go to my book shelf and stare at it until one book jumps off the shelf and into my hands. I open it up to a random page and start reading. Withih a few minutes I’m deep into some stinking thinking clearing and back to kickin ass before I know it,

  105. I experience this frequently especially as I live abroad and constantly confront these thoughts. So I have a song that pops up I’M NOT PERFECT, BUT I’M PERFECT FOR YOU. (Thanks, Grace).

    Have an awesome day, Bev

  106. When I’m feeling not good enough, I come to your site and get inspiration! You have a wonderful uplifting attitude that is contagious.

  107. TASHMIA

    Hi,Marie
    First to answer your question, I try not to think on the negatives, so in other words I distract myself with some positve thinking and I listen to Sizzla Solid as a rock. this song does wonders.
    My name is Tashmia and I am a shop owner in the east of France its called TASHMIA (PRODUITS DE BEAUTE)

  108. Hi Marie!
    I love all your videos and this one is especially important for me. This is what I do:
    – I affirm positive thoughts about myself (re. L. L. Hay), and
    – remind myself that the Now is perfect and safe (E. Tolle), and
    – then I try my hand (literally) at meridian tapping, or EFT.
    – I also take a moment and think of at least 5 things I am grateful for and this generally flips the negative energy that’s sinking my ship, to buoyant air-balloons that lift me out of the funk…

    – And then there are times when I just have to DANCE it out. That’s part of my lifestyle and I am SOOOO thankful for it. Combining physical activity with the mental and emotional realms helps me release and transform the negative nancy ninnees into Blissful Jiving Goddesses!
    (And I notice that you are pretty into bustin’ a move! Keep it comin’, you Groovy Cyber Sistah! 😀 )

  109. When it comes to that negative voice that says I can’t, I think it is time to channel my own inner Honey Badger.

    That’s right. Honey Badger Don’t Give a Sh*t.

  110. One of my fav topics– thank you for posting, Marie!

    I (eventually!) find gratitude when I catch these thoughts — because then I have a chance to actually change them. This is the key to the kingdom!

    However, when it the gratitude doesn’t come very quickly to me, my next tool is to tell someone my thoughts so they can help me change my thinking. And they always remind me. Sometimes this person is not my ordinary “go to.” I am glad that I have trained my mouth (or fingers to type or dial a phone number) to allow me the opportunity to ask for help, and to banish that fear of “being naked” (good ol pride, baby! that’s a killer!).

    xo
    A

  111. Jen

    Love this one Marie! “You are not your thoughts.” I couldn’t agree more! In the practice of yoga it’s a constant to tell yourself this. I believe that I’ve truly found what I’m meant to do, which includes making others feel good. I hate to sound so cliche, but I think you attract those who see your “inner light.” Sometimes we question whether or not we’re good enough at what we do, but that moment(s) pass when someone says,”thank you.” Simple, but true.

  112. If you love what you do and you love your customers you can’t help but be good enough (and then some!) Saying that, we all trip up sometimes, and I’m a firm believer in brushing yourself off, working out what went wrong and adjusting your future actions to avoid a repeat. So long as you keep at it, you’ll be constantly improving and before long you’ll be able to look back and be amazed at how far you’ve come. Also, believe the compliments you receive!

  113. ali

    I am currently in the process of opening a yoga studio so I of course have been seeing some of those lovely “not good enoughs” come up.

    Heres what I learned in Hali and Kevin McQuilan’s Inspirational Yoga Teacher Training (haliandkevin.com)

    I give up “I’m not good enough” (or whatever may be present in that moment: doubt, feeling weak, “I’m unloveable”)

    MY NEW WAY OF BEING IS OF POWER (or again whatever you want in that moment- LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, PEACE, GRATITUDE)
    whatever you want is yours- bring your attention to it:)

    This is a declaration, say it loud and know that you are powerful!

  114. When I was in a situation literally surrounded by defamation and slander in every aspect of my life (family, friendy, partnership) my wonderful doctor (a women educated in “normal” medicine as well as in homeopathy) recommended to me to ask the following question after every new accusation said to me or about me: “SO WHAT” (Na, und)?! Because no-one else said nice things about me, I had to reflect: “Am I really AS bad as they are telling?” I came to the following conclusion: NO!!! Since then (rather recently) I just do not care about anyone telling anything about myself. I know I am good, and good is well enough for any project I want to start. Because all others are “only” good, too. 🙂

  115. I say “thanks for sharing” and then I remember all the great things I’ve managed to achieve in the past 6months or so and declare…”I can really do this” with a huge smile on my face! It works!

  116. Inspirational video. When I get “I’m not good enough thoughts” I challenge them with alternatives such as “that’s just my mood talking. My feelings are only temporary so need not stop me getting what I want”

  117. Hi Marie- Love your message!
    When those voices start chippering I say “Thanks for sharing and now GO to the back of the bus” And YES I practice getting back to whatever is present in the moment. Present Moment Awareness.
    Peace and Good thoughts!
    Jahna

  118. I totally realized this the other day while driving home.

    I realized that I’m always gonna have these doubtful not good enough thoughts and a way that really helps me knock it out is putting my focus onto something or someone else and giving it my undivided attention and love.

    Lovely little reminder. Thanks Marie 🙂

    Elise

  119. Emma

    Oh my, I get this all the time! I give my clients feedback forms to fill out regularly to see how I can improve. And even when I get really good feedback, I tell myself that they’re only saying that stuff cause they don’t want to upset me by giving bad feedback. I’m actually much happier when it’s not all good. Isn’t that soooo silly. I’ve always found it really hard to accept compliments too. Working on it all. Thanks for the reminder Marie, it’s nice to know that we all struggle with this one, I don’t feel quite so silly now!

  120. I loved this video and now I don’t feel so alone. I mean, EVERYONE feels that “I suck” thing?? And saying “Thanks for sharing…” – love that. Great comments from everyone here. That word “Enough” gets me very stuck – Am I good enough? Will I have enough? Do I have enough time to accomplish my goals? Voices in my MIND – you can just shut up – ENOUGH! – and let me get back to using my gifts. I am so grateful for what I have and what I can give to the world. YAY! Thank you Marie for all that you do.

  121. Mary-Pat

    When I catch myself thinking that, I laugh and say to myself- ‘Oh look, there it is again!’ and then I say to myself ‘I am MORE than good enough!’ I no longer expect to get rid of that feeling, I can accept is as part of the human condition and not attach any negative emotional resonance to it. MP x

  122. I LOVE THIS. I just linked here from today’s Q & A Tuesday. I felt all this I’m not good enough junk coming up starting B School yesterday and starting a new business. I was in a bit of a downward spiral but I took conscious control and found myself on Byron Katie’s website (The work) … I watched a video about a woman who had a breakthrough realizing it wasn’t about her but about the work she was here to do to serve others. THAT’s all it took to snap my mind out of a negative spiral and back into a centered place. ITs not about me! Its about the work I am here to do in the world and how can I be of service. I put two post it notes on my bathroom mirror to keep me grounded throughout B-School when those I’m not good enough thoughts pop up and better questions to ask myself .. How can I be of more service in the world? How can I best serve my clients and the women in the world? THAT SHIT IS LEGIT! It keeps me grounded on what really matters and its a whole lot bigger than me and my doubt talking mind!

  123. Whenever I catch myself stuck in my thoughts I say “cancel, cancel” and move on to the truth of what’s going on.

    Being stuck in your thoughts can cause some major issues in your life. So it’s worth practicing a good technique that works for you to get yourself unstuck.

    Much love,
    Michelle

  124. Renee Edwards

    This video is short but sweet and absolutely gets to the core of a HUGE limiting belief. I didn’t realize until a few months ago while going through Tony Robbins’s Personal Power II DVD that this was a significantly limiting belief that I held. It started off with identifying the lie that I believed on some level–that people don’t support me or want what I have to offer–and developed into what I have to offer is not good enough (and by extension I’m not good enough). I’ve always considered myself to be a confident person, but when it came time to do something as simple as let people sample products that I was creating or cook a meal that I really loved for another person, I would go into perfection overdrive, often resulting in my avoiding the process of sharing what I thought might not be “good enough” or apologizing even in the midst of sharing…”Oh I love it but you might not,” or “It didn’t come out as good as it normally does,” or calling out the flaws before another puts it out…as if that would soften the blow.

    I knew it was ridiculous, but it wasn’t until I recognized that I even held this limiting belief that I was able to change it. I went through the process Tony describes in his DVD and asked myself–if I were to continue having this limiting belief for the next 5, 10, 15, 20 years or even across my lifetime, what would my life look like? My personal, professional, social, financial lives…how would my belief affect those areas? I realized that if I continued to believe that what I have to offer isn’t good enough, I wouldn’t share when I could or take chances when I should or fully FULLY commit to anything–relationships, passions, purpose. I would just sort of exist, disempowered and dejected. Then I imagined what my life would be like if I was to eliminate this limiting belief. I envisioned myself feeling overjoyed, with healthy and happy relationships, living my life passionately and purposefully. Just these two imagined realities was enough to get my ass in gear. I want to create the life I want to create. So my strategy is to focus on WHY I’m doing what I’m doing. When the why is big enough, and you’re committed to figuring out the how and what, you will figure it out.

  125. I bring myself into another dimension and face myself, then with all compassion I give myself a hug, a Kiss and look myself in the eyes. Then I say to myself You are Good enough, more then enough. Come girl! I grap my hand and I go for it!

  126. Peter

    I’ve always believed I’m good enough.
    Even when I couldn’t see it feel it.
    I’ve always known it.
    This piece of logic has been the reason I keep pushing.
    Regardless of how dark things seem.
    My issue has been finding a way to communicate it.
    I’ve had to deal withca speech impediment for the better part of my life which left me floundering when I needed to say my piece.
    This is why I turned to social media in the way I have.
    It gave me a forum with a captive audience.
    Hence the reason I share posts into groups the way I do.
    (There are other more quantum reasons. For another time….)..
    In the meantime I’ve been able to make the most of my home circumstances by utilizing the repairs I’ve made to my voice box over the last few years and learning how to speak up to the same captive audience.
    Now I talk like I think and write.

  127. When these thoughts creep in which they have this week in needing to switch gears and up my game I have taken this week off from working in my studio period.

    Spent this time working on the house and garden, and organizing my supplies in my studio, visiting with family, and spending time just for me to process it all & regroup. Will be back at work full swing tomorrow, feel rested now & ready to tackle it again.

  128. I wrote my selves a letter about 6 months ago that has really helped. As long as I can remember it. Ha. But I did record me saying it to myself as voice memo and set it as my alarm. So I basically wake up to the sound of my own voice reminding me that we are good enough. I try not to hit snooze. 😉 Cheers!

    http://lovesaveslives.org/enough/

  129. Amazing! This thought is not personal, it is colective.

  130. Anna

    I never knew this was my problem. I always looney it was fear, but didn’t know I didn’t it was about me feeling I wasn’t enough. knowing everyone deals with this and the easy ( but necessary to practice) solution helps. I find your guide to really listening (awkward video) and not listening to the fear is some of the required education I find go the world. thank you with all my heart.

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