Before I get into today’s episode, I’ve got some sweet news to share.
After 18 months, MarieTV has a brand new home!!! New set, new lights, new opening, new closing, plus a new “dress” for our MarieTV YouTube channel.
I know we humans often resist change. So some folks may complain about our new look and want to go back to the brick wall of the past. Ain’t gonna happen.
The reason for this move is more than cosmetic. Our new space allows us to do a lot more creatively behind-the-scenes, as well as have more guests experts on the show, which we’ve all been loving!
Plus, keeping things fresh and new is a vital part of what makes us human beings feel alive.
Now onto today’s episode. How do you manage your “mindset” on days when the shizzle hits the proverbial fan?
When obstacles and unexpected challenges arise, how do you keep the momentum going, no matter what? Is there some “secret strategy” for dealing with disappointments, upsets or setbacks?
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a pretty sensitive person: energetically, spiritually and emotionally. I feel things on a deep level so upsets and disappointments throw me for a loop. Knowing this about myself, I have a very specific set of habits that help me get through the tough times.
Click play to learn my four strategies for staying positive when everything hits the fan.
Click here for today’s tweetable by the one and only KING of rock and roll.
Now it’s your turn. I’d love to hear your strategies for staying positive amidst unexpected chaos.
In the comments below, tell me your single BEST strategy for those inevitable “oh snap” moments in business and life. If you have more than one, that’s cool too.
Is there something specific you do or say? Do you take a specific action? Leave as much detail as possible as your genius will inspire our entire community.
Plus, research suggests that when you anticipate an obstacle and devise a strategy to overcome it in advance, you’re more likely to stay on track and reach your goals.
Of course, you can let me know how you like our new digs too 
Thank you for contributing to our incredible community, and for being a part of my life.
Love,
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Read the comments or Add yours
Thank you very, very much. When the shizzle starts to drizzle and dreams seem to fizzle, I watch Marie twizzle and sizzle in a new dress, like cherry tomatoes rompin’ in a sea of Romaine~ please pass the croutons.
Haha Chas, I like your style and rhyme!
Marie, you rock my life. I LOVE Tuesdays!
LOL nice one, Chas
Love it –boy do you have a way with words.
Love your style, girl!
OMG this was amazing lol!
Thanks Marie….your amazing! Not just because of your kickin’ advise but because you are so YOU! “Just be you” is what rings in my ears when I see you. Be Authentic! Yes!
lets see
1) i talk it out with someone else
2) i dont do anything if im upset that i deem important
3) i wait 24 hours
4) i watch a inspirational video
Life is Beautiful II [loosecontroi 1080p] <–youtube
Andrew Prahlow – Untitled (Epic Orchestral Choir Music) <—youtube
Epic Score – Creator Of Worlds (Epic Action & Adventure 8)<—youtube
parkourfreak is amazing
5) I workout
hmm that should do and btw Marie you are a amazing person
i should of added that was what do you do when shit hits the fan DOH
Don’t worry, we all got it!
I love the new set! Loooooove!
This topic is full of awesomeness. Here are some of my strategies:
1. Remembering that “this too shall pass.” good one to remember during stressful situations like giving birth… just saying.
2. Remembering all the past times when the “numero dos” hit the fan and everything worked out and was just fine.
3. The good old “what’s the worst thing that could happen?”
4. Sense of humor.
Straight up! I also lace up and go for a run. Not a jog. A run.
Love the new set- looks great!
And, as always, great advice, Marie! Just so love what you do.
Onto my own ‘fan day’ strategies…
I’ve noticed that I tend to think things have hit the fan when I feel contracted- when I’ve been too busy (doing things I don’t really feel like doing or want to do), when I haven’t been playing enough, when I haven’t had enough rest or nourishment, when I take myself too seriously or when it’s just that hormonal time of the month.
So, I do what I need to do to feel un-contracted and at ease with life. Very rarely does it involve anything to do with whatever isn’t going the way I want it to. It could be anything from taking a bath, a gentle stroll in nature (yes- I’m lucky enough to have that literally around the corner!), visiting a place I haven’t been, reading a book, feeling what I feel, doing the washing, making a real pot of tea and drinking it outside, yoga in the park, cafe with friends…whatever breaks me out of my mind habit of catastrophising and contracting myself to that point of view. Basically, I do whatever needs to be done to stop me engaging with whatever story my mind has created about whatever has gone AWAL.
Preferably, I do things which create joy regularly, so my mind has less chance of contracting in the first place.
Hope this is helpful.
Thanks for all your fabulous-ness, Marie! x
Love your tips Cristy!
these are fabulous!
Thank you both! Love your websites, by the way. You both have such diverse and wonderful practices and life experiences. A joy to read!
Love your tips, Cristy!
Your work is glorious, Laurie. Thank you for what you bring to the world x
Thank you so much. You made my day!
Great new video as always. Ok so, there is no way I know of, to avoid the shit hitting the fan sometimes. And there is probably no way for me to avoid freaking out for a bit. But I absolutely love all your tips I’ve used every one of them. The only one I would add is to:
Take a walk.
Get out of your space, get your blood pumpin and take deep breaths.
Works every time.
Thanks Marie!
Marie – Love the new set + this is what I do when the SH*T hits the fan inside my teeny tiny empire…
I walk outside…get into my car + treat myself to a big cupcake + a Mt. Dew! Then I enjoy my teeny tiny pity party + start moving into SH*T shoveling mode. Cupcakes + Mt. Dew always make that big old pile of it disappear in no time flat!
Besides everything else mentioned here, I sleep.
The next morning everything will seem less stressful, smaller and easier.
Love you girl.
PS. How can I send a question to Marie? Are they just picked out from comments?
Paulina,
It’s Louise and I work with Marie. There is a submission form for at http://marieforleo.com/contact/ or email it in to info at marieforleo dot com and let us know that it’s for a possible, future Q&A Tuesday!
Louise
Love the new set!
Great advice here – as always …
I often take sometime to see what the universe is trying to tell me when the sh*t hits the fan. Maybe it’s pulling me back to review who I am working with, or what I’m working on, or maybe it’s just a sign that something just needs more time.
Keeping things in perspective is important too – sometimes just redoing something, or fixing it is less painful that actually losing it over what just broke.
I agree! When all hell breaks loose it shows me what I don’t want, and more clearly illuminates what I do want, so I can focus my energy on that. Law of Attraction baby!
And exercise ALWAYS helps when I’m feeling off-kilter.
Thanks Marie, rock on Sista!
I too am liking the new set….although I was crushing on the old brick wall.
While I always try to factor extra time into every project’s schedule, when the sh*t hits the fan I juice up some of my favorite fresh veggies and/or fruit, try to take a break, and ponder the problem from a different perspective. Sometimes just a short break helps to get another point of view.
I also think about things I am grateful for. When the sh*t gets really bad, I open my gratitude book and look at things I am grateful for. There really is a lot…and it helps to keep the perspective from the proverbial sh*t.
Thanks for all your great T.V.
Great set, loving the new MarieTV format/design.
Have just started running again – that is always the best kind of break from work when nothing seems to be going my way. It’s always stress-releasing to either have a small dance party, a run or go to an exercise class of some sort. Bring on the sweat, and you’ll feel energised enough to tackle those hard projects! Plus it makes up for that cupcake you will be having later because you feel sorry for yourself
Love the new dress Marie! I actually became a personal trainer and created my new business for this very purpose. Exercise has always been my go-to stress reliever when things get tough. Popping in one of my workout videos and sweating it out with my online self always gets me out of a funk.
I love the new set – change keeps things fresh
My personal stress reliever has been using 750words.com (which I heard about in a past video of yours btw, THANK YOU). When things aren’t quite sitting right in my head and I don’t have someone to talk it out with. I just do a complete brain dump at that website and it can be really revealing. especially because I can say things there that I might not say to a person, be totally honest with myself and realise how silly the ideas I have in my head really are once they are down on paper/screen.
As always, sending gratitude!
Jess
Yes, this was totally going to be my advice. For me talk it out can be replaced by write it out. Actually write it out is important for me more often than that… if my mind is too busy to sleep well, if I can’t yet talk it out because it is more of a vague feeling – it helps me narrow in on the issues.
I’m loving the new look Marie ……I am about change …… you get left behind otherwise. When the shit hits the fan – I just let go, work out why it hit the fan and move on. As they say …. this too will pass
Blessings x
Love the new set Marie!
Ah yes, things out of my control I vent and breath, deep breathing at that. Not making any decision in this situation, is the best advice, take time and talk it out is the only way for me. I’ll be dancing too from now on.
Thanks for the love Marie x
Love Marie’s 4 point action plan!
I can also recommend “Up for it” by Henry Rollins Band or anything by Trent Reznor to get through the initial “I’m going to stab someone through the heart with a pencil” mode when everything goes A over T. This segues nicely into “Quick, somebody hand me a packet of sugar and a spoon, but for the love of God don’t make eye contact with me” followed by “Right. Time to do some cardio until I bleed / break something vital / pick a fight with some random bystander”. Rinse and repeat!
I had a major freak out last week due to some upsets in my biz. What finally calmed me down was when this thought entered my mind,
“The only way through this, is through it. Just breathe and get to the other side. You will be a much wiser and more resilient person on the other side. Besides, while it’s hard to see from here, this isn’t the sum total of your life…it’s only a tiny little part of it.”
You know…What felt like it might cripple my biz last week, now doesn’t feel so bad. In fact, I’m pretty sure it forced me to think in new ways I wouldn’t have if the “bad” crap hadn’t happened. And these new ways of thinking are resulting in some good stuff:)
i loved reading this Deana. Yes… keep going through and remembering perspective WILL come! Thanks
I cry.
I cry because it helps me remember that I don’t have to be superwoman. I cry to prove that tears don’t mean weakness; there is strength in vulnerability. I cry because it is a release of emotion that I can actually see and feel and it helps me become aware of my body and physical space around me.
Then I eat cheesecake… or read a romance novel… or put on soft music and go to bed. Or all of the above. It’s a pretty simple system but it works!
Morning Marie!
When the shizzle hits the fan, I sweat it out. Usually by running, but some cardio activity happens. And then I repeat to myself, “It will all be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end” as many times as I need to to know it will be fine. And I also usually phone a friend as well.
The more I know this and do it, the less I need these tactics b/c the better I am able to deal with things go off track.
Keep it up.
xo Johanna
When things go to “hell in a hand basket” I try to get outside to do something physical that I love. For me my passion is my horses so riding or playing with my favorite horse-partner is my number 1 choice.
Me too Lauren. A horseluv break is faster than two martinis at bringing me back from whatever has pulled me off course – a setback, overwork, or even a big celebration!
#1: Call my sister, she just listens and calms me down. I can tell her honestly my feelings, no need to camouflage my flaws.
#2: Take my dog (west highland terrier) for a walk. In the beginning I tend to walk really fast, like running out of the world. When I notice that I get back to a “normal” speed I know it’s time to go home.
#3: Combination of the above.
Awesome Marie! I particular love the way you being honest with how you feel and let it out.
Tools I use during those moments are:
1) be very receptive. Invite my higher-self over and just be curious why it has happended & how I can turn around. The first time I had a set-back, I launched my website; the second time, I launched a new channel and discovered a new niche. Shit can turn to something really interesting if we take it non-personal.
2) if it is to do with system, investigate your process. When setback happens is not about you as a person, but the fact that process has holes and allowed mistakes. Investigate and make sure it won’t happen again.
love
Yiye
Love your turn-around idea Yiye! There is a gift in everything
Thanks Irene, great to connect with you!
There has been plenty of shizzle and fans action over the last ten or so years in my life (not just business) and what I do is have a vent (as you said above) which is usually me stomping around with a furrowed brow yabbering at my husband (or the wall, if said husband has escaped), until I get bored of that and then I return to something my father always said, “If nobody has died, then it isn’t really a problem”. I take a break, probably do something completely different, then return hopefully refreshed and clear headed to work out the next step.
Thanks for sharing.
Hey, Marie! I have saved loads of situations by this buffer thing. Especially if expecting something done by people. And what is more interesting, if people miss the deadline, and if I tell them that it is ok and we have some time to have things done, they feel relief and gratitude for doing so.
And yes, workout is also great to refresh your mind and get a distance from the bad thing.
LOVING your dance breaks Marie! More please
I have a bit of a ‘secret’ tactic to embrace the ‘shizz-melt downs’ & I always know that after they resolve I come out a brand new person propelled forward into clearer state of being.
If you can talk the language of the body and hear what IT has to say about “the situation” then there is ALWAYS an insight full of gold waiting in the depths of meltorama.
The challenge is, your body & mind don’t speak the same language, so it takes a special kind of communication to access this deeper wisdom that holds the treasure.
When you do….ooooooooohh it feels SO good and the melt down was always worth it!
(and meltdowns are significantly less for the same situations.)
Love to talk you (and your body) more about it
Thanks everyone here for all your amazing words and co-support and thanks Marie for rocking the show!
Laura, I love the way you describe coming out of it as a brand new person. Totally agree with you!
Hi,
When something happens that I could do without. Then I do a cut down version of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). This is how it works:
1) Focus on the emotion, located somewhere in your body.
2) Then using your index and second finger, you need to tap on 4 points of the body, which saying some words, as follows:
3) Tap between the eyes and say, ‘Let It Go’
4) Tap on the outside of the eye, boney ridge and say ‘let It Go’
5) Tap under the eye on boney part and say, ‘Its safe to let it go’
6) Tap on the collar bone, where the knobbly bits are in the centre, and say, ‘It’s safe to let it go’
7) Grab your wrist
8) Deep breath in and blow the emotion out
9) Say ‘Peace’
The emotional level should have gone down. If not just repeat the above, while focusing on the emotion.
It works wonders.
Peter
EFT Adv Practitioner/Trainer
I love this post!
This is my way:
I sit down and take the time to really feel whatever I am feeling for a few minutes. I breath through it and I’m a big fan of crying to help release the energy. But that usually just naturally happens to me
Then I go deeper and ask myself what fear is being triggered inside me.
I have found that below under almost every emotion is a fear. A fear of being not good enough, of being judged, rejected, a fear of having done something terribly wrong. I allow myself to feel this and set my intention to heal this fear or fears. And because I am a spiritual person, I always ask the universe or the angels to help me with that.
And then… it has usually cleared and I can continue my day. I do give myself some time and really take care of myself when something like that happens.
So it’s a 3-step process:
)
1) Feel the emotions and breath through it
2) Become aware which fear is being triggered
3) Set intention to heal the fear and ask for help (optional
This works perfectly for me!
Thank you for sharing your vision and I love the new lay-out!
Very wise words Irene.
When it happen, i just look my bucket list to remeber me why i work so hard…
Loved this one! Guillaume you get the award! I do this too, and also ask myself, am I willing to let this go?g
Love the new set Marie. Just gorgeous. Taking time out by exercising and talking things out are my 2 favourite ways of handling the situation when it all hits the fan.
Hi Marie,
.
I just want to share that your new TV studio is very beautiful and stylish. I love it
Keep insiring the women from all over the world with your amazing personality.
Best wishes,
Mary
My first thing is to…..get outside and go for a walk. Even 15 minutes outside gives me an immediate change in perception. I have a park across the road from where I live. I go in there, immerse myself in all the green and go to my favourite cafe, take a break and then come back feeling better.
Hilarious! Love the bangs clip!! OMG!
I give myself a (small) window to feel it, watch something funny on TV, step away from my office and write in my prayer journal. I will remember NOT to call my hairdresser!
I think I do several of the things Marie mentioned. Give myself a break, feel my feelings, talk to someone……I just got feedback from a friend last night about my “constant ability to be positive and proactive”. Not sure where I got it since the start of my life was fairly depressing. I think I have, somehow, defined success as not giving up as opposed to succeeding the first time or ever. So, I might feel bad, embarrassed or disappointed, but then I get excited to think about what might happen the second or third time might be different and go for it again. I make changes based on the initial feedback but then do again. I think it is me loving creativity and spontaneity. I really never know what I will do or what will happen, so I might as well try again and be open to something good.
My coping strategy:
1. I write. I write stories, prayers, journal entries, letters to my ex’s, letters to myselves (there are five of us in this one body, lol).
2. I sit still at every opportunity and listen for the voice of my Divinity to tell me what it is she wants me to learn. Fan hitting shizzle is ALWAYS a lesson for me. Some vital key to the next step that I wasn’t getting so the Universe decided to make it as (painfully) obvious as possible.
Thanks for doing what you do.
1. Vent to boyfriend
2. Get hug
3. Feel better
4. Think of solution
5. Take action
6. Life goes on
LOVE the new intro! Wonderful video (and advice
as always).
What works great for me is getting my butt out for a run. Nothing works better for me than physical exercise. I often come back with ideas how to fix (or at least neutralize) the crisis.
When shit hits the fan I always look for the lesson. What do I need to learn from this? I really give that attention. Then I move on with more wisdom.
Thank you! I have to say your videos never fail to put a smile on my face so I’d add a visit to your site as one of my coping mechanisms!
Mostly I remind myself that what I’m feeling is only temporary, it will pass.
Oh, and I drink tea!
Hey Marie, beautiful new set. Congratulations!!
Walking. Where would I be without it? I rely on walking all the time to clear my head. It’s my close companion as I work at home. In good times and bad I know I can rely on a super brisk walk to get my heart pumping, blood moving and oxygen rushing to my brain. When I’m upset I let the tears come (I pack a good supply of kleenex and may need to duck my face down under my hat!) but after about 40 minutes, my breathing calms and I can face the world.
If it’s really ugly I get on my mountain bike and push hard on the single track trails, tears streaming, and push and push and push ’til I’m exhausted – and recharged. It’s the perfect analogy to life: obstacles to tackle: some to bump over, a few to swerve, but most can’t avoid so better to address straight on. Yep, a bunch of tumbles and headers. Most I shake off, a few knock my breath out. Some, like the leap over the handlebars 7 weeks ago, landing on my patella – on a rock (ouch!) – I’m still feeling and hope it goes away by this time next year. Overall? Riding saves my sanity and leaves me empowered to charge back ready to face life’s challenges.
Love the new look Marie
My strategies are:
1. Take a “time out” = stop thinking about it
2. Sleep before I make a decision and move on
3. Pranayama (breathe!)
4. Play with puppies
5. Snuggle with cat
6. Hug my Sweetie
7. Make sure my tummy had yummy food and I’m not starving (can’t think on an empty tummy!)
The key is DON’T FORGET TO DO ONE OF THE ABOVE!
Get out of yukky caca energy!
LOL indeed: not forgetting is the trick. Sometimes we’re so caught up in the drama that we forget all of it – at least for a while!
Hey Marie,
Thanks for sharing the love.
Love your new home and your pretty dress.
When shizzle hits the fan, I step back to get out’ the shizzle. I do not respond from a place of freak. Take a breath, ask for help and do the next right thing – sometimes cry, sometimes laugh, look at the issue from a different perspective and then get back to it.
Thanks for another awesome Q&A.
Enjoy, Mary
Hi Marie, Love the new set, it looks great
The two things I do that I think work best for me are:
1. Search about what happened on google and learn how to prevent it (when possible)
2. See inspirational videos or read inspirational books.
Here’s one I love, from Phineas and Ferb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax9969dN3nQ&feature=player_embedded
Go to bed early and have dinner before that. Nothing worse than insomnia and avoiding rest trying to solve too big of a problem.
What I do:
1. Give myself a few minutes to experience the meltdown
2. Go for a run. This clears my head and reminds me that I have control over my body and my mind, and then helps me understand how I can react productively to whatever wasn’t going my way.
Nice changes, Marie…your new set looks beautiful! For me, nothing works better than heading out to my garden for an hour of weeding. There’s something very therapeutic about attacking weeds when you’re upset. The combination of physical activity with the sound of birds singing always brings me to a calmer place of perspective. Added bonus, I get something accomplished, which makes me feel even better!
Love the new set too!
When the shit hits the fan, I:
1. Allow myself to cry / rant / vent / have a pity party just because;
2. Journal it out, either 750words.com or the good ole ‘pen&paper’;
3. Move move move my body. Yoga, running, dancing in the kitchen, whatever feels right at that time;
4. Let it go by telling myself there is a lesson to be learned and it had to happen (that’s of course after steps 1, 2 & 3 – never able to do that first);
5. Don’t make a decision, wait for the storm to pass;
6. Have dark chocolate (this one? all steps).
Thanks Marie for another great video!
View it as a test from the universe … say “hooray!” – there must be something better around the corner!
There has been some really good advice given already so I’ll try not to repeat that. For me, everything depends on the circumstances and mostly on the time frame. If I have more than 1-2 hours to fix it or it’s just a lot of bad things happening simultaneously and you really can’t do anything about it, then I use the same strategies as already described above.
BUT, if I have less than an hour to figure out a solution, I use other tactics. First thing I do is to figure out what I can do to kick the shit in the butt. I try to stay calm find a solution. Usually, there is something I can do or someone, who can help me. I’ll do what ever I have to to solve the problem. I’ll tell myself I’ll have time to cry later.
This is a small example: I had my graduation ceremony on Friday (Master of Arts in Social sciences, peeps:)) and I forgot my lipstick at home (50 km away). Not a big deal, but I wanted everything to be perfect, so I was upset that I had forgot all my make-up at home. Lucky for me, we were on schedule and I had half an hour before the ceremony started. So, I ran to the nearest mall and used the samples in the cosmetic department. I’ve found that in these kinds of minor crises it’s important to keep calm and carry on.
When everything appears to go wrong at once…
1) Stop the bleeding — isolate or address anything that has to be done immediately to prevent more damage. Take proactive steps where possible.
2) Try to gain information and perspective — is the situation really what you think it is? Marie’s advice to get other trusted opinions is excellent.
3) Trust your instincts and do what is best for your customer
For self-comforting, spend time with family or loved ones, take a drive or a walk and just zone into the experience, or read a good book. Your subconscious mind will keep working on your problem / issue, and often comes up with the most creative solutions!
Hi Marie and team Forleo
When really large shizz hits the fan, like last week when a close and dear member of our family found out his cancer came back, first I cried (a lot) when no one was looking.
Then that a strong and wise part of me stepped forward to be a calm, centred resource for my cousin and his wife and children. That’s not to say I was perfectly centred at all times as a part of me was feeling gutted by the news, but I tried as much as possible to make sure other people’s needs came first including leaving them alone over the last few days.
I think this resource is in all of us for when life requires us to be strong for others.
Thanks for this Clare. I admire your strength.
Marie your new look suits you and I’m happy to see the change. thank you for the prepping email that was kind of you. I do 4) things when I’m faced with emotion:
1) get away from the situation.
2) get myself on a higher frequency: listen to THE POWER by Ronda Byrne
3) look at the emotion as something that came for me to be present with it, I have a conversation with my emotion and ask, “Now what is it that I am to learn from this? What is it in me that is imbalanced that is now trying to awaken myself and say “Hey, (tap,tap, tap) remember me, you have to give me attention!”
It takes about a few minutes to a few weeks sometimes depending on the situation for the “TRUTH” to surface, but once it does I’m present and grateful. To seal the deal with myself, I take a little action of gratitude, I may even share it with people I know loves me (groups of love = power). 4) Write at least 5 things I’m grateful for in this present moment. And then go on with my day.
Thank you for the final message, and for being WHO YOU are meant to be!
Bless,
Deanne
One of my mantras is “sometimes the best way forward is to take a step back” so when the brown stuff hits the fan I like to take a step back.
While I am taking a step back I apply another mantra – “Learn the lesson. Apply the learning. Move on.”
Then I am ready to step forward again.
Works for me every time.
hi marie, positivity is such a effort which always stay with us, how, as we work on deal so huge economy yearly expense are done , that is y we can never think of forming mistake & stay positive , yet we leave all the beloved thing while Dealing work, steping back & going on summer hoildaying beaching is Internal Nirvana demanding body & soul Heeling for us, is that there were fans for me & you started the career in this field, me is always positive yet some time does not works in joint traditional orignal tree family belonging in which i feel some time negatively taken, so respected all your finding word & work gr8, sending greeting & Regards, uniorgan
like this all friends
My 8 year old daughter and I loved your newest video. She laughed aloud at your “booty dance”!
Great new set too! You rock, sista!
I am a highly Sensitive person, too.
One thing that helps me A LOT with MANY things… is to do deep breathing. It helps me calm down.
Hi Marie & Team!
Love the new LOOK & evolution @ MarieTV!
I agree with you on feeling what you feel to start. Then I shift gears & ask what am I supposed to learn from this? I always ‘sleep’ on the big decisions whether I feel good or bad…a little perspective always helps.
Feel the LOVE!
Susie
Hiya,
Great comments – as always learning a ton from the Marie community. When I have bad days it usually centers around a big step I’m taking toward my goals. Either trying to learn new technology, finishing a big piece of writing, wrestling with a new idea, etc. When it all goes south, I think about what I learned from the experience and what I will do differently next time. And then I make myself a nice cup of tea – go talk to the trees (or my friends) and know that I”m moving forward – even when it feels like I have super glue on my shoes.
I LOVE your “shiz happens” buffer!! My goal is to open my first financial services office by Thanksgiving…..realistically, I think that’s going to be really tough. But, I do think if I work my little heart out to try to open it by then that it’ll give me 6 buffer weeks so I should be able to have it open before the beginning of the new year. I’d never considered having a soft deadline and a hard deadline before; as a goal-oriented person, that takes away a lot of stress. Thank you much!
I immediately eat a pint of Haagen Daaz…..oh wait, that’s what I used to do!
1 – I step away from the situation if possible until I feel more in control
2- I try to remind myself that nothing is permanent and how much worse things could be
3- I pick up either an inspirational memoir or a light funny book.
4- I get myself to a movie theatre as soon as possible and escape…….
5- I talk to a wise and trusted friend/colleague/coach – someone removed from the situation and listen
LOVE your new set and your cherry dress!
Jeanne
I am a firm believer that “everything happens for a reason.” So when something bad happens I try to remind myself of that. The terrible things are often the best teachers, and can set me on a better course.
But sometimes I can say that over and over again, but my “small self” just isn’t ready to look at the big picture yet. So I read or write it out. By reading I put myself in someone else’s POV and feel someone else’s emotions, letting me forget about my own problems. Or by writing I can write out the problem until I get down to the root of the issue, the true deep dark fear that I am really feeling, and that often frees me to let go of the fear
Simply this … Amen to that! Took me y-e-a-r-s to figure this one out! BTW, don’t forget to take a deep breath too … or maybe a few!
Loves ya,
~Laura
Oh yes, I meant to say, that I love your new set, and your cherry dress is beautiful. And you look great in it. =)
Love it, Marie, and congrats on the new set! You deserve all the success in the world, Girl!
When things go wrong in my world, I, too, can’t help but freak out. My problem, though is that too often I don’t really “let it out.” As a more introverted person, I can definitely hold things inside that I’m not even aware of, so recently, I’ve been practicing the strategy of telling others who are close to me how I really feel. This is never a problem when things are all well and good, but when shit hits the fan so to speak, it is for sure more challenging. In addition, I also try to schedule more chill time because I have the tendency to overwork. Interestingly, when I take more time to relax, I get more done.
I ride.
Horses are probably God’s most honest creatures. They are what they are and they don’t know how to be anything else. Certainly more than I can say for some humans on this planet.
Being with them and connecting with them just reminds me that nothing is all that critical and I’ll get through it. Getting outside, away from my computer and into the hills renews me so I can regroup and get ‘er done!
many years ago an extremely low point – just could not get and go do business– I searched Success Magazine for small articles that were all positive type — I went through many magazines — none of the articles would help me get moving — BUT, finally I came to one and it has stayed with me since that moment and it was:
back in the 30′s or so there was a boxer that was known as “Gentlemen Jim Corbett” (last name may be spelled wrong) and a reporter ask him what one quality did it take to be the World Champion Boxer — (during those days they did not box with gloves on and they fought until one boxer was knocked out or could not or would not box any more) “Gentlemen Jim” told him, “the ability to get up and fight one more round” — at the time I was reading this article I could not make myself get up and continue going after the business —(I was in the 3rd day of being down and not doing anything to build / do business) When I read that article I could see Mr. Corbett in the ring fighting – possibly being knocked down and see him getting up to go another round with his opponent — I could hear the horns blowing, people yelling, AND I got up got myself dressed and out the door I went! That reply of “Get up (off the floor or off the chair) and fight one more round has come to mind from time to time
when times seemed tough to me through the years. Yes, “What one quality did it take for Jim Corbett to become World Champion in his Boxing Division — he stated
was “his ability to get up and fight one more round” — and that was it until the other fighter could nolonger fight or gave up. Best of luck to everyone and keep on getting up and fighting one more round to achieve your goal and until you achieve your goal!
This is all such important and common sense stuff.. hearing you confirms what already is… & you make it seem so ordinary & common for all of us.. THANX>.. Being a host of a web show myself.. i am blown away by your savvy skills of promotion and marketing. You sure inspire .. it would be awesome to have you as a guest on my show… xXx
I tune into why I’m in business and I remember my “why”, my passion, my purpose!
When I was growing up, my Dad used to tell me about his day and challenges at the office (he was a successful business owner). He said it was his job to figure out how to pass the mountain…. every day his employee’s would come to him with new challenges that had stopped them in there tracks and is was his job to figure out how to keep them going forward… around the mountain, over the mountain, or in some cases building a tunnel right through the middle of the mountain. When all the negativity or “impossible” challenges get me down, I just focus on something more interesting like the plans and dreams I am building- and I am going to get there one way or another.
Love this, I do pretty much what you do Marie, I allow the a little meltdown and then I journal and chat if I can. I do also have a dance! Love that, current favourite is Maroon 5 moves like jagger!
Never give up, always believe
Oh, I hear you!!
My computer has crashed 3 times this week, and all day today…. FRUSTRATING!! I have to go and do something else…. call someone (vent on the husband), jump up and down and shake the frustrations out, or B-R-E-A-T-H-E deeply a few times.
And no… don’t EVER make an important decision in an emotional state – ever! Give it time.
Love the new surroundings Marie…. I look forward to getting back to catching up with B-school. I’m a week behind!! Tell my computer to stop chucking a spaz for me
Hello Marie greetings from The Netherlands; liked the part of the melt down. Me and a group of girlfriends (4) have a pact: when having a meltdown, we can say whatever and we won’t say anything about it later! How great is that? By the way, after a melt down i always feel so much better!
Now about your new set up: I like the background but the sound is awful. Too much echo in there. I would swap chairs (with the old one) because this one makes you look like you slough even when you’re sitting up straight. It’s because of the soft seat, I KNOW you’re sitting up straight. Have fun recording and keep them comin’ cause you have a fan here!
To help me feel better fast, I love a process I learned from Code to Joy: The Four-Step Solution to Unlocking Your Natural State of Happiness by Drs. George Pratt and Peter Lambrou.
It’s called The Pledge of Acceptance: Place your right hand
over your heart, as if you were saying the Pledge of Allegiance.
There is a nerve bundle located here, lying just beneath your fingertips. If you press or rub the spot, it will feel a little tender. (See more about this spot below.)
Rub this repatterning spot in a clockwise motion with the flats of your fingertips of your right hand. As you rub the area, repeat your personal code to joy, either aloud or silently to yourself, five times.
Your personal Code to Joy is something like “I deeply and completely accept myself. I am worthy of MASSIVE success.” (That’s mine.
)
More about the “repattering” spot: Rubbing this spot triggers a neurolymphatic response that functions something like a major acupoint (where energy tends to get blocked).
Don’t worry if you’re not sure whether you’ve located the exact right spot. Firm pressure in this general area above your heart will activate the nerve bundle and produce the desired effect.
Rubbing the nerve bundle opens a gateway to the biofield, allowing your statement to enter you and sink in on a far deeper level than the affirmation alone.
I love that it’s a very simple, quick and effective form of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).
If you do this when you’re feeling down, or choose to practice it three times a day, watch the magic happen!
Thanks for this video & also this EFT trick! I am covered in poison ivy and missing 2 major meetings today. Perfect timing for me to watch and read.
My number 1 thing when the fan gets whomped is to
1. Take 5 seconds to breathe deeply
2. Think “All is well”
3. Think about the big picture. Most of the time, I’m lucky that these issues are not life-or-death.
4. Take 60 seconds to make a plan of action
5. Breathe again
6. Execute.
Most of the time when IT hits the fan, I can’t take more than a couple minutes before addressing the problem (because someone else is expecting a solution ASAP) but this works pretty well!!
Monetize it! I’m usually pretty positive, so — when I remember and — when circumstances plunge me into a murky emotional state, I try to grab a hook for a somebody-done-somebody-wrong song.
P.S. Marie, I soooo appreciate your inspiration as I start up my own law practice. And yes, your new studio is real cool.
Oh! And I LOVE your new digs!
Well, when the shizzle hit’s the fan I simply STEP AWAY FROM THE LAPTOP / BLACKBERRY & HUMANS! This may only be for 1 or 2 hours max & I do keep a sneeky eye on any client emails / calls but all are on mute & I just go & watch TV nonsense or go shopping or do nothing, I occasionally “pen it out” but that may be evidence if I’m really mad, haha.
I’m “no use nor ornament” to anyone if I’ve got it bad! It’s best for everyone if I remove myself as I can get really annoying and very sarcastic. Lots more sensible advice given by everyone…I may have to study them.
Thanks Marie, you’re an absolute star ;o)
Love these tips! (and the new set too by the way : ) )
What I do when upset is ask myself if this thing — whatever it is I’m upset about — will matter in a day, a week, a month, when I’m on my deathbed, etc. And most of the time the answer to that is a big, fat resounding “NO.”
; )
I also ask myself — I did this just yesterday, in fact — if getting overwrought about the issue will make it better. Sounds simple, but it works. And the thing is, getting angry or uber-annoyed won’t solve anything, it’ll only anchor the problem in place. That said, I agree that just letting yourself feel what you feel — anger, annoyance, tears of frustration, etc., is an effective strategy, if you allow space for the emotion without wallowing in it, and then move into action.
Loved everyone else’s tips here too. Ever inspired by this wonderful community!
Love this topic, and I really do like the new set. The look is softer and more chill.
When the shit hits the fan in my life I try to give myself permission to process it in any way that helps me to move through it. If I need to cry I do so. What really helps me is to take a walk. It helps me clear my head, put some distance between myself and the challenging situation, and it builds in a delay giving me time to formulate an appropriate response.
Writing also helps me to process everything that goes on in my life. Writing in my journal every day is like therapy for me.
Thanks, Marie, for always having something fabulous to share.
That all makes sense to me, Marie; except for the Elvis quote. The King died on the toilet while he was “going” (it’s true, he had a stroke). Maybe pick another quote??
When things go wrong I like to step into the future. Ask myself – will this matter a year from now? 5 years from now? If the answer is ‘yes’ I remind myself that if I’m frustrated and crazy and taking action, I’m creating more frustrated and crazy results. Slow the roll and stop *doing* until I’m doing from a place of peace and kick assness. If the answer is ‘no’ then I pull up my emotional maturity draws and get over myself. If it was easy, everyone would do it. It’s not supposed to be easy.
Hi Marie,
I like the new set – it’s like a clean blank slate that you can do your thing on. The brick had character, too, but this one is energetic.
So re: Shizzley days… First, I am going to start using the word “shizzle” instead of “s**t” because just saying the word makes me smile…
What I do is similar to you… 1) I let myself react authenticly – be upset for a short period of time, 2) I call my husband to talk it out and I listen to his perspective and suggestions – I know he has my best interests at heart, 3) I either go for a walk or do something else completely for fun (i.e., something not “productive/scheduled/on my list”), and then 4) I either write or repeat in my head positive quotes or sayings that charge me up – after all that I am (usually) then able to see things from a better perspective.
Thanks again for what you do. – Deb
Love the new look!
Great advice on the “buffer.” I recently did this for the new Kick-Ass Business News magazine, and am SO glad. 2 people missed the ‘deadline’ for their articles and were scrambling and apologetic at the last minute.
I just laughed because the REAL deadline was a few days later, and by then they had everything in. Now the magazine is done and awaiting its release, which is next week! I can’t believe everything came together an entire week ‘ahead’ of schedule!
Launch day will be a breeze, and I plan to take off the 4th of July to celebrate. Awesome Sauce.
Great new look Marie! Although I did love that brick wall backdrop. But change is always a good thing so rock on girl!
When things hit the fan for me, I do one of two things…
#1. I call my bestie! A good, long chat with my girl puts things into perspective and clears my head. There is something very therapeutic for me about just spilling it all out. I feel like I dropped 10lbs of BS when I do. It helps that she is a great listener too! Doesn’t try to fix things or provide a solution – just lends an ear and says it’ll all be good again soon!
#2. I take a nap! Not to be lazy or anything – lol. But a nap allows me to literally get away from it all and recharge. I tend to be very emotional and it is insanely draining when I am upset or having a bad day! A nap helps me relax, rest, and wake to a clearer head.
Sh*$% comes and goes, but you can’t let it totally slow you down or ruin your day/week/month/rainbows!
Another great episode Marie! Thanks for all that you do!
Incredibly enough last night’s team call was about Staying Positive!!! How to POP!!!! I have a video about this too! This is how I stay positive every day. My buffer!!! Marie, you are THE shizzle!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RGTwdq0uWM
1. Music
2. Hugs
3. Venting
4. Walk the dog
5. POPping
6. Listen to Marie Forleo and Dana Wilde!!! Oh Ya and Danielle LaPorte!!!
Hey Marie, I love your new set.
Iris
I think your new set looks great
Love it better then the brick wall for sure.
When I have a bad day I spend time listening to my favorite song reading something uplifting whether a book or my Bible.
Get away from my business and go do something FUN.
Play with my baby girl she always makes me laugh. And realize that if it won’t matter in 5 years it really does’t matter. Most things won’t.
Marie! That rocked. Your new set rocks, your style rocks. I’m prolly your biggest fanboy who’s actually a boy. Anyway, when shiz ain’t rockin’ right for me, I dance. Hard. I put on my headphones and I dance like hell. In fact, I have “The Daily Dance” built right into my day, every day, so that I always remember to dance, even if it’s just for one song, because since I know that dancing is one of the things that feeds my soul and has the shiz be way less likely to hit the fizzle. Peace out. Tobin
Boy did I need this video!!! My car ended up in the Cuyahoga River this last weekend, and the insurance company declared it totalled yesterday. Wow! That was never expected. My business depends on it.
So what did I do…. Take the rest of the day off to sleep. Then go exercise, and exercise, each tmie I felt totally overwhelmed.
First thing yesterday I got in high gear and spent the day finding a new phone that will work for my business and obtaining a rental car compliments of the insurance company. What works for me is just what Marie said, planning.
I totally love the allow for problems philosophy! Especially when a total disaster hits like this!
It feels like you put this video together just for me in my days of need.
To be perfectly honest, my feeling is that if no one has lost life or limb, then it’s just not that big of a deal. Really. I also think that this is what has helped me take huge leaps in my business in a very short time. No fear baby. If a negative result isn’t going to lead to my death or maiming, then what’s the worst that can happen? We all know how to apologize and refund. Go get ‘em tigers!
I love this advice, thank you Marie! I think for me, the most important thing to remember in the midst of a meltdown is that the end result almost always leads to some insight I haven’t had before. I always learn something and am ultimately thankful that the fan ate my shizzle.
This is also true when I fight with my husband. When we work to get to the bottom of the problem, we find gold waiting for us there.
xoxo – Brandy
That new intro is HOT!
When it hits the fan in my world, I takes time out and go to the movies all by myself.
After a couple of hours with my mind distracted, I often get my best idea on how to deal with the problem on the drive home.
I am such a “take action” and “fix it” person that the first thing I have to do is put myself in “time out” where I literally force myself to do some deep breathing and take a 20 minute break.
Experience has taught me that my physical stress symptoms start to go away after 20 minutes has ticked by making it easier for me to think clearly and act in my (and everyone else’s) best interest.
If I still feel upset, I follow Marie’s advice to melt down and talk it out before I look at action options.
If it’s a really big deal, I follow Steve’s advice and wait 24 hours before doing anything. Usually, I have returned to enough “normalcy” to be trusted with a plan by that time!
Most of all, I also have to stay away from scissors — I have had the really bad bangs to prove this is true!
I love the new look, Marie! Awesome!
For me – when shit hits the fan, I change my scenery. Get the heck out of Dodge.
And more importantly, I check in with myself. BREATHE. Center.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I am still laughing about the bangs.
That was awesome.
Great timing Marie. Two days ago the air conditioner in my house broke on what just happen to be the hottest days of the summer here in Texas! It may sound small, but I was one cranky b*tch. I pushed through my work yesterday, waiting for the repairman who… Well, it’s a long story =)
Point is – I immediately went into that Zen place of “everything is OK” and skipped the meltdown. I think sometimes we want to be so “positive” that we override our true emotions to our detriment. Today I’ve got a major headache, and I know it’s because I didn’t let it out.
I used to freak when the slightest thing went wrong and then I had the Year From Hell. In a 12 month period, my dad was diagnosed with cancer on Christmas Eve & died on July 4th, my mom went blind, Mom’s new apartment building burned down & two of her friends died in the fire, we had a flood & had 10 feet of water in the house. All of my mementos of Dad were lost in the flood. All of that happened while we were homeschooling & living with the in-laws because we were building a house. And Great Grandma, who had Alzheimer’s lived with us. Great Grandma spent her nights screaming & peeing on the floor & her days were spent “cooking” anything she happened to pick up. She had to be watched constantly. The stress level got to the point when anyone would ask how I was, or even look too closely at me, I’d start giggling insanely. After the Year From Hell, nothing seems all that traumatic anymore and when I do start to feel stressed, I do that weird giggle thing & tell myself it’s not so bad & things could be worse. I’m instantly okay.
Wow! You went though so much worse than I am! And for a whole year! So glad you shared. Thanks. Makes me feel better just knowing you made it through ok and are here in this forum.
I sit back and do nothing. Or as little as possible. When things are really bitt and the shizzle hits the fan I try and surrender to it, knowing that things always work themselves out. usually the next day.
simple {hahaha! not really simple to do, but you know….}
I just KEEP GOING.
{I just dealt with an almost 2 month behind the scenes mess of domain name hosting issues and a move and….ah, there’s always something.
Just keep going.
When the s*** hits the fan, I may dwell on it for a few seconds and then I take a few minutes to just breathe. Instead of talking about it to others because for me personally it makes me feel like I am dwelling on the subject and it will just make me feel worse, I instead write down what I am grateful for in terms to what happened during the day or just in general. After that, since I am big on laughter, I do something that makes me laugh. After I take these three steps, I am good to go.
I have learned through the years that I can’t be in control of everything so why kill myself by stressing because as we all know, s*** happens.
By the way, Marie, I am really digging the new set. Change is awesome!
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DR Masaru Emoto took water from the same source, divided it in two containers, one container he labelled LOVE, the other HATE. He then froze both containers and put them under a microscope. The container labelled LOVE formed the most beauti…
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Richard de Lange
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Daily Affirmations
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Simone Segal
17 hours ago
FALLING APART
When you think your world is falling apart
Wrap your arms around your heart
Give yourself a loving embrace
Keep that smile upon your face
Whatever it is that you might fear
Cast aside, make that crystal clear
As hard as that might seem to be
Rescue your mind with positivity
Do not go down and let fear in
For that will be your downfall sin
Your choice. Your thoughts, you’re in control
Up or down, you’re on a roll
For what might seem like a broken heart
Could be the beginning of an amazing start
Have the strength to carry on
Act as if you can’t go wrong
Although you might not have a clue
There’s an amazing world in front of you!
Find the courage and the strength
Do not stop at any length
Believe in your dreams, and start a new
And know your wishes will come true!!!
love Simone.
OOOPS!! Sorry, Falling Apart should be my message!
That was great. I always feel guilty when I allow myself to have the meltdowns and let people know how I’m feeling, im glad to know it is ok to do so, Thank you so much Marie! you make my Tuesdays hahah
When shizzle hits the fan, I keep my mindset strong by repeating to myself over and over that “I’m the ONE!” I have a newborn baby and I really am the one that has to keep strong, support my family, and make things happen, even in the face of adversity. Whenever negative thoughts enter, I repeat, “I’m the One” and it allows me to focus on keeping strong, and I don’t entertain those nasty, train-derailing thoughts. Those thoughts are only there to tell me I’m not the one, so I blast ‘em. Keep back you snarly, beastly thoughts, I smite you!
It’s Called Living
You are who you are, you can’t possibly change. Wrong! You are who ever you want to be! It’s all within your mind, it’s as simple as choice.
What choice?
The choice of believing in yourself, or not.
The choice of loving yourself, or not.
The choice of doing everything to the best of your ability, or not.
The choice of stepping out your comfort zone, or not.
The choice of reaching your goals, or not.
The choice of thinking you can, or you can’t!
You see, whatever choices you are making are determining your every day, your Life! I can’t thoughts are your choice, I can thoughts are your choice. You can stamp out your dreams with your choice of thoughts, or obtain them.
Thought patterns, now here’s what can change everything, your choice of thoughts.
When you can change your thought patterns to-
I BELIEVE in myself!
I LOVE myself!
I CAN do everything to the best of my ability!
I CAN step out my comfort zone!
I CAN reach all my goals!
When you can do this, you can’t possibly fail!
I’m sure you have heard the expression the world is your oyster, well it is! When you can change your thought patterns to the above, the world will be your oyster!
Now, the thing is, if you say you can’t you’re right, go sit back on that couch, switch on the TV and carry on being that voyeur, watching others obtaining their goals, living the highlife. Or, if you say you can, join the party, it’s called LIVING!
When you start loving and believing in yourself, doing your best to achieve your goals, Magic starts to happen!
Each time you step out your comfort zone to strive for your goals you become stronger and stronger! You realise your capabilities, you get to know yourself and how truly amazing you really are!
You start to feel this confidence in you shining out that you never realised you had.
You become YOU! Yes that’s right YOU! Who YOU really are!
You find strength in you that had been wiped out by your previous way of thinking.
I can tell you this with authority! I was that voyeur! Watching others turn their dreams into reality, It was only when I made that choice of changing my thoughts that I joined the party!
Don’t wait for your dreams to come true, MAKE THEM COME TRUE! Join the party, IT’S CALLED LIVING!!!
Great advice Marie! I say expect the best but be ready for anything! I look at it like this! Every time adversity strike, i get to work on building my character. Cheers!
Marie – this is a great one! Mindset is everything girl!
I question everything!! Is it true? You know the drill and I look at what my mind believes to be true and then turn it around to the opposite to see what might be even truer. Turn it to myself – what can I learn here about me?
If I catch myself BEFORE I attach emotionally then I can save my day. If I am emotionally gone (freaking out) then for sure I question it. This always give me peace.
I never react in the moment – right on about that one.
And I go exercise that always reduces stress and helps my mind relax.
Thank you as always!
Perfect timing – thanks Marie!!
My shizzle fixer?: Take lots of deep breaths and work on my handstand.
Take a walk and vent to my boyfriend:) His advice is usually that I forgot to eat lunch and should go do that:)
Ha! That has happened a million times to me too. Low blood sugar is not conducive to good moods or effective business practices.
Hi Marie, this episode came at the perfect timing. Thank you so much!
Great video…great topic! For me, when the shizzle hits the fan, I a) go for a run outside, b) don’t resist the emotions that come – including a good, ugly face cry if necessary, c) remember the message from Pema Chodron’s book, The Wisdom of No Escape, which is to befriend our pain, disappointment, setbacks, etc. so that we can glean the wisdom the experience has come to teach us, d) read a scripture or other spiritually uplifting text, and after giving myself a brief “mourning” period e) get back to work!
Hi Marie – lovin the new set!
When sh*t hits the fan (like 2 days ago, my tire was randomly slashed in my parking garage, bummer!), I tend to try and look at the situation with humour, laugh to myself, look at the positive, and learn something from it – even if it’s learning what NOT to do.
When my tire was slashed, I didn’t know what to do. I had never changed a tire before, and I’m a pretty petite lady. I saw two guys in the parking garage and asked them for help – they were so kind and dropped everything they were doing to change my tire for me!
Sh*t hit the fan, but I decided to stay positive about the fact that 2 complete strangers were willing to help little old me for nothing in return. Totally restored my faith in humanity! PLUS, now I know how to change a tire!
Hi Marie,
Thanks for just another great advice.
I’m one of the people who often doesn’t handle change too well, but this new background… I like! I’m just really happy the Marie-in-a-high-chair setting hasn’t changed
Love this! I had a meltdown yesterday and I now understand it better. I’m a really sensitive person and feel like I’ve been having a lot of break downs (or break throughs) lately. But it’s good. I’m changing. Thank you Marie for sharing these insights.
haha- first of all, this post just put me into a great mood. Loved the Elvis impersonation
SO, I loved Marie’s go-to actions for when stuff goes south -or seems like it all goes south. The one I would add, is finding something that makes you laugh. The power of uninhibited laughter- weather at an article, picture, situation, or yourself- is HUGE!
Cheers & happy Tuesday.
Say YES to the negativity!
This was a great post. We do a couple things, first like Marie said we have a rule that we don’t make any major decisions. When you are in meltdown mode, it’s so tempting to start blasting out emails or pick up the phone and say something you shouldn’t. Just chill out for a while and let things settle before making any big decisions. #2. It’s okay to get angry you just don’t want to stay there, and anger is a powerful energy that can motivate and inspire you if you transform the energy! Some of our best creative ideas and most profitable projects came out of a meltdown. Learn to transform the energy, it’s powerful. You really can create and have what you want, and sometimes roadblocks are just there to send you in a brighter, more profitable direction!
When it all goes catatonic. I open a window for some air, ring my brother who listens/lets me rant.. probably with the phone at arms length, then I watch a snippet of Fr. Ted (Irish Comedy) on YouTube which brings me back to mellow self. Although I won’t sleep much that night.. I’m a night worrier/problem solver.. it becomes less of a problem the next day or a week later.
Love the new set:) what do I do? I stand outside an shout at my favourite tree, it never shouts back ,great character that tree! Or I take a shower with my favourite showergel,put on my nicest dress use my best perfume and tell myself I m gorgeous. Or go to our stables cry in a horese manes feeling very sorry for myself and THAN gominside forvthat shower because I smell like a horse
Mine is: when in doubt, write it out.
Sometimes I need to write a letter to myself, my imaginary business friends, or the person who I’m having difficulties with. That helps me think things through, and also helps me get rid of the emotional charge so I don’t explode or implode in front of people.
It also helps me find the answers I’m looking for. It gives me time to process, and usually the solution bubbles up through my writing.
Nice set and great advice!
Marie, I like the changes you made, but then I like change.
I believe adversity is nothing more than a blessing turned inside out.This means to me that within that adversity is a plan in place to promote my growth, happiness or prosperity. The anticipation of a blessing weakens the affliction and strengthens my resolve to over come it.
This is one way that I stay positive.
Hi Marie, great show today and digging the new set –the change is fresh. When my crap starts to hit the fan, I take three very deep breaths and watch the crap blow away. Then I walk away from for few minutes to clear my head –go back and start again.
Walk the dog, vegetable gardening, and talking with my mum!
Animals are great energy balancers. horses, dogs, I walk my dogs or just go and get licked. Nature, vegetable gardens. the satisfying sound of ripping weeds out of the ground, snacking on tomatoes that taste like tomatoes, miss my mom, but still talk to her ( while I’m out in the garden)
Hey Marie!! Where have you been all my life?! So grateful I found your site… been spreading the word! I’m in love love love with every single thing you put out there. Such great shizzle!
Ironically, I did a similar post on my blog Friday (www.littlemissmojo.com)… clearly great minds think alike.
I called it FUNK THAT! Top 10 Tips for an Instant Mood Makeover – and here’s the “edited for comments” version of my list:
1- change your tune – Music feeds the soul and provides an instant brainwave boost. Put in your earbuds and listen to your favorite upbeat songs.
2- schedule a 30-minute massage – If you’re at work, use your lunch hour to rejuvenate. If you can’t find a massage place, try a nail salon… even a 10 minute hand/neck/foot massage can give you new life.
3- animals & babies – I can literally feel an instant change in my emotional state when I pet a dog, or engage a smiling baby or playful kid.
4- get outside of yourself (i.e., your head) – Let “doing” replace “thinking” by engaging in a focused activity. Break the negative cycle of thoughts by putting your attention elsewhere.
5- go for a walk – the process of walking tends to clear the mind and gets the blood flowing. Get moving, get present. Just stay away from Times Square!
6- be nice – chances are if you’re feeling shi**y, you could use some compassion. The best way to get is to give. Force yourself to engage someone else – smile, say hello, offer a compliment (the non-creepster kind).
7- meditate – I strapped on my headphones and did a 10-minute breathing exercise in the middle of Starbucks. No one seemed to notice and it was actually a great challenge to focus amidst all the chaos.
8- exercise – sweating out the stress feels great and gives you an immediate feeling of accomplishment. It also takes the focus from your racing thoughts to your body. Sex counts
9- connect with nature – walk barefoot in the grass, lay under a tree, sit in the sun for a few minutes, look closely at a flower. It’s impossible not to appreciate the beauty and calmness in nature.
10- phone a friend – call someone who will both support you and call you out on your sh*t if necessary. Good friends will listen without judgment and encourage you to dust yourself off and get back in the game.
BONUS
11- treat yo’self – have some mac and cheese or a warm chocolate chip cookie, buy yourself some flowers or a fun magazine, get your “hair did.”
Sorry ladies (and gents), but this does not include irresponsible retail therapy. BOO!
Looking forward to more amazing, inspiring, ass-kicking tips!!! Thanks for setting off another great Tuesday! xo
Love the new set Marie…and this topic!! What do I do when “sh*t hits the fan?”
1. Call my mama!! (this could be fabulous…or make my pity party worse)
2. Have a cry fest
3. Put my bright yellow/pink Nike’s and headphones on and go RUN!!
Usually when done in this order it works best!
Happy Tuesday! xoxo
I try to get completely away from my computer/business. Either going out on the boat, or doing an intense workout.
I find that by getting completely away, I can realize that it’s just a minor set back. It’s difficult at times, especially when our business funds run low but I know that it will work out in the end.
This resonates SO MUCH after an email I got this morning. Here is what I usually do:
-Make sure I talk it out, usually with my husband who has to deal with his screaming solopreneur wife on the line…for a few minutes…as he has to sit in his cube and solve everyone else’s problems.
-Try and literally re-program my brain to remember all of the GREAT things that ARE happening that could actually lead to a solution
-Walk away (or swim away…in the pool) just for a break and to let my mind rest
After wayyy to many melt downs in my office with the door closed and then bitching sessions for hours afterwords in the “corporate kingdom”, I have learned the productive way of having a setback vs. the wrinkle-inducing psychosis that has happened in years past
Thank God I discovered that organically when it came to running my own positive-inducing biz 
Thanks Marie!
I really don’t like the “I’m always positive crowd”. It just seems so pretentious to assume you can stay positive in every situation. It can’t be good for you either. You have to vent sometimes; you have to complain sometimes (like my first sentence). It’s always been my go to thing to vent, brood, then do something to work off the energy. Sometimes I want to do something mindless like clean, sometimes I draw, sometimes I just go shopping. It really depends on how much brooding I’m in the mood for. Shopping for the little stuff, drawing for the “want to punch the next person I see in the throat” stuff. I find that drawing my pain away makes for beautiful art and a very relaxed calm Lindsay in the end. I’ve tried other things lie sewing (which I’m great at), but have noticed the seam ripper gets the most attention when I’m upset, so I leave that to neutral or calm days. I also love to run. I have been out of shape and pregnant for 2 years, so I’m hoping to add this back to my arsenal when the baby gets here in a couple weeks. Running helped so much for my anger issues and it helped with my self esteem because I lost a ton of weight doing it. My body just likes it. (run on paragraph courtesy of iPhone 4)
Marie, you are wonderful on camera as usual, you light up the world with your energy!
I’ve had an off and off love affair with affirmations because I wasn’t consistent and I was impatient, expecting and wanting results yesterday. I’ve learned that creating very specific affirmations and doing them daily has transformed my unconscious limiting beliefs.
Step 1: Start day with reading and visualizing affirmations.
Step 2: Write out your favorite affirmation 20 times.
Step 3: Night time, read and visualize your affirmations again:)
My favorite book on implementing this specific strategy is by Victor Boc “How To Solve Your Money Problems Forever” that not only shares about the Law of Attraction but also the Law of Repulsion, fascinating.
I also created my own program called “Big Miracle Breakthrough” that teaches you how to work with SPIRIT as your guide and build a relationship with the wise part of yourself that will help you manifest your dream life at a cellular level through guided meditations and simple exercises.
Hi Marie-
I am a spiritual person, so i find that meditating for 20 minutes a few days a week, helps me to feel more grounded and better able to come from a positive place. I also believe that everything that happens in my life is for my highest good. So if i didn’t book a job after an audition, I wasn’t meant for that gig and there is something better on it’s way to me. And when all else fails, a dose of reality tv on Bravo always seem to help take me out of my head!
I love the new look of MarieTV! I really relate to the idea of a Shit Happens Buffer. Bad stuff happens, so why not plan for it? I’m definitely going to create some buffers in my business to handle whatever calamities come my way.
Marie, I take dance breaks too! I pretend I’m ’90s Madonna and get my Vogue on!
Write about it. Then after time has passed go back and reread all that you have overcome.
Sitting by the ocean and focussing on the wave-like action to “wash it all away” helps me big time. Thankfully I live on the ocean.
Agree with Abra. Writing it down helps too and I often build a small bonfire and turn those words into smoke. I wrote about one such bonfire here: http://nibandtuck.wordpress.com/2012/06/13/day-68/
I am loving this.. YES! dance breaks are awesome.. but what I find whreally works to get me out of my funky mood when stuff doesn’t work out is to take the focus off me and my business and FOCUS OUT!! I usually go volunteer or think of someone on my team or a friend who could use some help or just a friendly ear that day. I make it all about THEM.. Being in contribution like that always helps me keep things in perspective!!
Marie, thanks for the laughs!
When the shizzle hits I always remember the words of an elderly man that I met at an airport. He was so happy I had to ask him what was his gig?
He answered:
There are only 2 things you need to remember:
1) Don’t sweat the small stuff.
2) It’s all small stuff.
LOVE IT!
Whenever disappointment comes I know it’s time to revamp.
Immediately, before going to the “feel sorry for me” vent opens I ASK:
How can I look at this a different way?
For me, it’s the magic question – as long as I “listen” to the answer. There’s always another way. The obstacle is usually there for me to figure out another way. I love puzzles. Life for me is a puzzle. Figuring it all out is the journey that has obstacles in it to show the way. NEVER GIVE UP
Love the new set!
When I am down, I like to take a walk and do gratitude mantra in the same time. I also like to go out to have a nice dinner (with a good bottle of wine)!
Go for a run – it clears your mind, clears your pores, gives you an almighty endorphin boost, and is completely free! Afterwards I’m calmer and more relaxed and better able to deal with all people and situations! And afterwards I feel so powerful and confident, like: ‘these are the sexy legs that just powered me round the park for half an hour!’
I definitely practice all of these. Especially FEELING MY FEELINGS. So many times we try to stuff or suppress them, but that only makes it worse. So instead of telling myself to ignore it, I let myself feel it, vent about it, write it down, go do something fun, then come back when I’m feeling great.
Thanks Marie!
Marie! That’s awesome! Thanks, I love your energy and wise advice
I have adopted the twelve pathways from The Handbook to Higher Consciousness, by Ken Keyes jr.
Easy to learn, easy to apply, life changing and super positive
I have to agree with the let it out strategy. Sometimes you just can’t keep the frustration in but no dwelling on things. Once I’ve had my minute or two I regain composure and try to focus on something else until things regarding my problem become more clear.
XO
Oh Miss Marie — love this topic, your dress, and the new set!
I have a mantra I’ve practiced for years. It’s a quote from the poem Desiderata: “… whether or not, it’s clear to you. No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”
Remembering that lil tidbit has helped me surrender to what is happening, instead of fighting it and/or trying to figure it out.
I also ask myself — is there any way to make this FUN? Sometimes it really saves the day, not to mention, expands my sense of humor.
PS: I totally agree about feeling your feelings and dancing them through your body. Pure GENIUS, Marie — xo
Awesome video – as always!
I breath.
Deep breathes always bring me back to being okay and gently taking the next step.
Don’t make decisions when upset, don’t make decisions when upset… great advice!
Love the new set! I’m a big fan of brick walls, but all that texture can be distracting, the new background is more calming and brings the focus back to you =)
that was great! thank you. well I had one of those days yesterday! took time to go for a bike ride. and wrote how i feel send it to a friend. then
cooking just finding a balance and let it be ,knowing that I can star all over again, once i felt better. yoga is always helpful* and if possible find something funny like an old episode of I love Lucy.
Great four steps. I have been practicing them for years! I also find that sometimes “writing it out” trumps “talking it out” for me. I can write things in my journal that I would never say to another person. Ha!
Simply taking a break works 100% for me. However, I acknowledge that getting back to good can take time – it’s not always instantaneous…
In fact, Mr. Albert Einstein really inspired me with this:
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
And it’s so ridiculously true!
My rule is to take a “break”, but DON’T STOP. I go and do something else that’s on my go-to lift-me-up list like running, riding my horse, watching a hilarious video clip/show/movie, or dance. I take 2, 5 min dance breaks everyday!
I find that I need to go and do something else even before I talk it through with someone. This allows me to shift my energy and restore a calm, happier state of mind first. Then I talk to someone I trust. Then I re-visit the issue much better prepared.
PS – “I just want bangs” LOL I almost fell out of my chair from laughing so hard! What girl hasn’t had one of those moments
Love the video, Marie! I try to always come from what I call a “place of positivity” when shizz goes down. Basically that translates to the belief that even setbacks exist to move you forward and that, to be cliche, “everything happens for a reason”
Real learning comes about when the competitive spirit has ceased. Letting go is such a hard concept to master but when we do, i believe we open ourselves to being truly creative. Thanks for all the wonderful insight!
Awesome Marie! Love the new digs
If I’m faced with an ‘oh snap’ moment, I eat a big piece of dark chocolate and watch Marie TV for inspiration and motivation. Thanks for all you do, girl! 
great topic Marie as usual. I’m a great fan and promote your video’s among my friends and colleagues in the Netherlands.
when sh*t hits the fan The first thing I do is “let go of steam”. make sure you don’t scare innocent people who happen to be in your neighborhood.
the elevator is a great place to scream….at least when you are alone! depending on the situation you can choose how many floors you need.
take the stairs to return to your floor….and get your act together again.
check the facts and stick to the facts. make sure that your emotions do not make “your” story bigger than it really is.
stop worrying about things that have not happened yet. worrying is fantasizing in the wrong direction.
Try to discover your allergy. it will tell you a lot about your core qualities and your pitfalls (Daniel Ofman’s theory on core quadrants).
great advice as always, l try to do most of the stuff mentioned above plus think”will it matter in a year form now?” usually most setbacks seem less important after this.
love your new ‘dress’
I cut my bangs. I laughed so hard cause I have been there, literally. I have to trim them again a few hours later once I have calmed down so I would not recommend this activity, but it tends to work for me.
One strategy I have is to divert the momentum to something else I need to tackle anyway, and just keep rolling. That is not always possible, but when it is, it works great.
Wow you have had masses of comments. Heres mine ( all the way from the UK) – its very easy. First check that you are vertical – if you’re horizontal its bad and you have far more important things to worry about. Secondly just stop, go out for a coffee, read the paper, put everything in perpsective and then go solve the problem.
When the $hi+ hits ze fan
1) Turn off Fan (the spinning thing spin ze poop all over the place)
2) find source of excrement (who’s throwing poo?!!!)
3) Clean up self and area (clarify, how much damage was really done usually not so much)
4) Frolick to a fan and $hi+ free zone, then do the Macarena or other out of date dance
Note: I am a hair cutter when upset, that part made me LAUGH!
Thanks for a great vid as usual
Dear Marie,
Thank you so much to be there for me and all of us. It’s human to fall down and wonderful to see the world in a different way.
Some people need to be be together and thinking the same way, all the time, to be sure they are in the same planet.
And Because of my beliefs , my difference , it’s simply amazing when they think they can change me to become like them.
Thank you so much for your vidéos today .
Thank you! This came at just the right time. I had a meltdown and vented to my partner about stuff that has been building up. Today we are having a meeting about it and I have a feeling that “shit is going to be hitting the fan”
It actually feels good for all this crap to come out, no matter what happens at the end of today.
Dear Marie,
Your Email subject lines are screaming to be deleted.
Due respect, you need to have a professional capitalized
Email Subject Line for your business.
I receive and correspond with artists and business owners all over the world.
We all agree on this matter.
All the best to you,
Jay Valencia
Founder
The Brentwood Independent Film Festival
I like Marie sooo much that as long as it’s from her, I’ll read it. Just a thought…….
2 words:
SPEED DIAL
my girls know what I need ;D
Xxo
ps
lookin’ good cherry blossom
Oh.. I’m working well past the “stuff happens buffer” right now. Our web developer is now 6 WEEKS behind schedule. Grrrrr.. but instead of getting mad and bitchy, I put on my best southern belle accent and call him and sweet talk him into hurrying the eff up!!!!!
I always have to remember that you get more with sugar than you do with salt.
I like your style!
And Because I love myself more than ever,
1/ People can talk about me like they want : I don’t care . Saying bad things about others is saying bad things about ourselves first.
They saw on me what they can not be .
2/ They ask for excuses because I talk with clearly about their work and they cry. I have nothing to do with people who re-create the Network marketing without experience.
3/ Yes, I ask for a rendez vous with everybody . I love this situation when at this time anybody have nothing more to say and because they are ready to listen , they undersatnd why I am strong with my work and their work.
4/ And I love myself . I refuse to let one person telling me how to be , how to think …because I learned from Marie Forleo, I learn from anthony Robbins, I learned from T. HARV Eker? I still learning how to become the best I can LIVE.
I have no time for teaching to people who read one book per year !
5/ I eat chocolate and strawberries and I put all the words of that people inside my dessert . And you know what , it’s so good and everything is light. Afetr that , I go to the sport for ONE hour at least on the bike. And I feel MORE STRONG !
I LOVE THE LIFE .Thank you Marie .
If it’s “something going wrong” it is just my perception of how or on what time table it should be happening. I just stay open to how it needs to go. It is always more beautiful that way.
Great advice Marie loved it!
Usually I stop whatever I’m doing and take a shower, it helps me think and clear my mind and by the end of it I feel invigorated and ready for a new one!
The build a buffer tip really hit home, have to start building one of those!
Whenever I get a client that calls with an issue that totally stresses me out (whether it be that I dropped the ball on something, that we weren’t on the same page with expectations, or whatever) I remember two things:
1. It might seem like [everyone hates me/I'm a failure/I'm going to get sued and lose my business, insert catastophic dramatisation here] but…
An example could be “It might seem like this is the end of the world because this one client doesn’t like their images, but I have many more clients who are thrilled with their images and maybe next time I just need to focus on doing a better job of managing client expectations before the session so that we will be on the same page.”
2. Even if it isn’t your fault, it is your problem so what are you going to do about it? Focusing on positive action rather then obsessing helps me to move past the problem and take constructive action.
Dear Marie,
I love your videos!! I like your list. Thought I would add a few of my own thoughts. I have a set list that I can melt down to when something goes wrong. I think it’s different for everyone, but I need things that remind me that “This too shall pass”. Depending on the subject of the crisis, I use time in nature, music triggers, my victory diary, or good friends to reassure myself that I can handle this, I will be here when this is over, I can come out stronger than before if I back up, evaluate, and act, not react.
1] Taking a walk without my cell phone so I can really focus on nothing and quiet my mind.
2] What is really the “where the rubber meets the road” problem here? Is it me, my expectations, personal issues, or changes I need to make.
3] Music that I associate with victory, winning, or prepping for winning a fight! Like; Ain’t no stopping us now, or my war prep favorite: March of Cambreadth by Heather Alexander. You can’t listen to that tune and stay down or scared.
4] Sometimes I’m just overdue for some ‘me’ time and a good massage sets everything right.
5] Last, but definitely not least, I call my accountability partner and rant, rave, cry, blame, and rationalize, knowing she will help me see the truth in the mud when I’m done.
Hope that helps someone think of new ways to be prepared for a meltdown
Hey Marie!
) :
I know from my own experience that sound – mix can make a lot of difference… and your words will be music in our ears 
Great is your new stuff!
There is one thing though (to my musical sensitive ears
The sound is quite reverberant (I hope this is the right word…it really sounds like you made it in a big hall – )…sounds somehow far away to me, like less personal and intimate…and I like it when it sounds like you are sitting on my sofa
Thank you for all your gifts to the world! You are fantastic!
Stephanie.
Hey, I really love you Marie, and the content of the video was great. But I think you guys need to work on the lighting setup. The other videos felt more high-end to me. This background doesn’t feel as chic like Marie’s brand does. Perhaps you could improve the what the table in the background looks like or enhance the colors on the white screen to look less murky.
As always, you are a joy to watch. You always remind me to be ME because there are so many people who resonate with ME and need ME — just as I am
Hugs girl!
Set is fabby!!
Great 4-steps, these are mine:
1-Grab chocolate bar.
2-Grab Peanut butter jar.
3- dip 1 into 2.
4- go into action mode to fix said shizzle.
Works every time.
oooh! so good…i will substitute almond butter and shazam!
Everyone reacts in their own way when shit hits the fan. The question i would ask is, when that happens can you let go and refocus on what else needs to be done. Meditation has helped me let go of things out of my control and allowed me to really be in the moment no matter what comes my way. 15 minutes daily in the morning, give yourself some time before you get busy with your day!
When shiz hits the fan, I usually do one of three things (or all of them).
1. Pray (or mediate)
2. Read the bible
3. Go to a cafe and brainstorm my goals, motivations, short & long-term self-vision
The other thing that I might do is cry- I honestly think that crying is therapeutic and necessary. We’re often taught that crying is bad but it’s a natural healer and is needed sometimes.
Hi Marie
Thanks a lot for your advices. Just today it was all going wrong and I have to deal with it no matter what. Sometimes I would like to stamp on the floor and yell “But – it’s unfaaair!” but that doesn’t help. I’m still missing kind of an outlet for these feelings! I tried with going for a walk, listening to several kinds of music, even to provoke a fight with my man (in this situations he just laughs at me) – nothing helps! I think there’s no easier way out – i have to accept the feelings and wait till it’s over
Love
Fabienne
I love the new look, Marie.
I just had a I’m feeling crabby and frustrated moment about a hour ago.
This is what I did to get calm.
1) Drank water,
2) Opened up the blinds higher to watch the clouds sail by
3) Sat down on a comfy pillow
4) Read and listened to uplifting and positive material
Now, I feel more like myself
When the shizzle hits the fazizzle, I deal by:
1) Listing the first 5 random things I can think of that I appreciate, ie: clean air, eyeballs that see, music, running water and electricity.
2) Imagining myself from above, looking down upon me, and then visualize zooming out as far as I can imagine so that I and my little trouble becomes a relatively insignificant spec in the ether.
Regarding the new set, I dig it, but suggest getting the audio situation worked out so that there’s no more potentially distracting echo.
Rock on!
Marie, here’s a great trick I learned recently that’s made a huge-ass difference on my “sh!t has hit the solar powered, industrial sized, mega-tron fan” days.
I forgive. Immediately.
If it’s a person who’s ruined my day, I visualize them standing on a stage. Then I visualize them receiving all good things and good vibes. Then I visualize them being as happy as can be, and having happy and thankful energy pouring out of them.
It helps calm me down, and nobody benefits from bad juju being put out into the universe, so I immediately turn it around and put the bomb-diggity juju out there. And I aim it directly at the problem. Because we all know: what you put out into the universe, you must get back. Try it y’all!!
I needed this video yesterday. Lol. Oh well. At least I got it today.
xoxo Love it.
Jen
This was the perfect video for today! It’s been one of those days….My strategy is to clean my house until my mind is clearer. My house is very clean right now!
It depends on the flavor of the shiz du jour but mostly I talk it out, then I work it out! I gripe, process, sweat, process. Sometimes there isn’t enough meditation and mantra in the world, I just need some Lady Gaga and an elliptical!
Awesome ! Thank you so much Marie
Hi Marie
I just LOVE that booty shake of yours!
I have to say that my first strategy is to just let it all out….meltdown…tears, a few thwacks on the pillow and then this wonderful calm descends! It’s as though I slip Vanilla Sky-like into a parallel realm where the ”#* is not happening. Eureka! If it’s raining…and I can afford to get my dress all wet…I’ll head straight out into that and let it straighten me out. And if all else fails…I’ll just get out my pen and scrawl and rant until the pen slows and I’m done. Then I take some slow, deep breaths and remind myself that the sky really hasn’t fallen in on me…and I get up and go on with a little more perspective than I had 10 minutes before:-)
Thanks for YOU Marie.xo
Here’s one I didn’t see among all the great thoughts here: I dress up in my best suit. This is when I know in advance it’s going to be a shiz-swatting tournament all day at work, and I didn’t get enough sleep as it is (or feeling that cold coming on)! “Fake it til you make it” helps me every time … dressing “powerful” reminds me of my actual power within, when I otherwise might forget.
People also respond to it (subtly) by treating me with more respect and not taking up more time than they have to!
When the shite hits the fan, I perk up my ears and eyes because I know something better than I’d planned is about to unfold. I believe that when things don’t go the way I planned it’s because there’s something even better in store and the universe is just adjusting my course to line me up with the good stuff. It’s the foundation of my personal practice and what I do to help other women navigate chaos and crisis.
I ask myself, Is this going to matter in a month?
2 months? 12 months?
a Year?
10 years?
And My level of freaked-outedness is based upon that… usually nullifies the situation! =)
Thanks for the vid Marie!
Hi Marie, I do know one thing: that chair looks way more comfortable than the stool you were using! LOL. I love your idea of having a launch buffer zone. I might have to try that, because I am so hard on myself when it comes to deadlines.
When I know I am having a bad day:
1) I give a fair warning to my husband (who is also my partner-in-crime for business), that way he knows that I am in an *extra* sensitive mood that day. Communication is HUGE, and it makes a big difference in how we work together as a team, and more importantly, he knows when to back-off if I need my space or step in if I need more support.
2) When I feel frustrated, I have a list of go-to cures: go to dance class, surf, take a walk on the beach, listen to some good tunes, create (paint, draw, journal). All of these things instantly put me in a better mood. It’s like magic.
3) A little get-together/lunch date with my mom or girlfriends or a last minute happy hour with friends always helps…when I allow myself to take a break from business and take a moment to BREATHE and celebrate life, it allows me to take a step back and look at the big picture. It gives me a new perspective on things and that ALL good in the hood
Hi Marie,
I couldn’t ever imagine any background better than your brick wall.
But yes, you topped it. I really like it and…IT WORKS!
What do I do when things go wrong?
I take a deep breath and have a talk with myself. (the part of me that’s on the outside looking in) That part of me is my FRESH & RATIONAL perspective.
Then, I call my closest friend and have her talk some sense & reality into me.
Then, I go to bed and KNOW that tomorrow I’ll feel okay. I aways do because it’s a new day and I feel rested & my mind is clearer.
Hope this helps.
Love Lana
I like the new set and the cherry dress!
I do many of the same things as Marie! You go girl!
I vent, I talk, I cry or scream, I wait…
Although, I wasn’t really thinkin’ of preparing for the stinkin’
Great thought, Marie!
Sometimes I write it down and realize how crazy it sounds.
If I am drafting an email with all my thoughts and emotions to a person who is tossing stuff at the fan, then I don’t put their address in the “Send to” field.
I think of the worst thing that could ultimately result from the situation, and then realize it’s not so stinky as it is…
Dear Marie,
My first reaction is to cry but then I force myself to laugh. It helps me think clearly when an immediate reply is needed. For that matter I keep in mind Monty Python’s Life of Brian – Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. If I’m in a position where I have time do cool down, I let my self cry and I pray.
I find that usually when things get ugly, it’s because of a very basic reason. As such, I have created a check system that I always go to FIRST thing to diffuse my frustration when things seem to be getting a little catatonic for no apparent reason.
I HALT and ask myself:
Am I…
Hungry – Angry – Lonely – or – Tired??
Chances are I am one or more of those things and I need to fix whichever issue is bothering me. Often, after fixing my hunger, taking a nap, calling a friend just to say hello… then I’m not angry anymore, or if I am, I can at least think more clearly because I’m no longer any of the other options!!
When we love what we do, sometimes we forget the most basic things we need, or we put them off a little longer than we should… and usually I find that’s when my shiz hitteth the fan. Once I take care of my needs, I’m back on top of the world.
Best advice I’ve had about dealing with the bad days is
‘don’t get out of it, get into it’.
So often when we’re dealing with a difficult situation we bury our heads in the sand and hope things will ‘go away’. Getting into it might mean asking for help, outsourcing, or just having a good look at what’s really going on. For example recently I’ve been stressed about my financial situation which for various reasons is not to crash hot right now. Rather that a vague sense that the bank balance is in crisis and the low level (but very real stress) that goes with that I decided to tackle the situation head on. I looked at everything I owe, everything that is owed to me and go hussling. Sent emails to those I owe money with an ETA of when I could pay. Sent emails to those who owe me with a ‘hey I need you to cough up now’ vibe. Although my financial situation hadn’t changed I went to bed that night with a clear head and feeling of tackling the situation rather than ignoring it = less anxiety. Don’t get out of it – get into it.
going for a run helps but when I cannot do that – positive self talk – out loud! it’s cheesy but it works!
Hi marie, i always think that after the storm calm comes, i love the lyrics of firework by katy perry where it says that after a hurricane comes the rainbow, i also like to medidate and run, i thnik exercise helps me think better, stay more positive
I LOVE the scene with the scissors and bangs!! i can so relate to that and laughed out loud~ i adore you girl! the shit happens buffer is just perfect, cause it does!
The best thing to do when you are feeling yucky and down…feeling sorry for yourself, exhausted, moody, etc., is first, take some time to be ALONE. In nature if you can, but even in your room in your bed works. Give yourself some time without stimulation and just BE. Become the Silent Witness and notice your feelings and thoughts without becoming attached to them. Don’t do anything until you feel ready. You don’t have to get SICK to give yourself some time away from everyone and everything else! When you are ready, start a list of your Favorite Things. It’s like a Gratitude Journal, I guess, but a little different. Remember that “this too will pass” and allow yourself to be present to feel your feelings. Feelings are the best compass. When you are ready, you can ask your High Self, Spirit Guide, or whatever you call your Source, “What can I learn from this?” but not until you are ready. Rest is a great friend. Really Rest. Take Exquisite Care of Yourself. Then deal with “it.” With TLC, Lotus
I totally second the letting yourself meltdown tip… I have found that allowing myself to have my melt down, as opposed to suppressing it and pushing on through, helps to me get clear again and begin to take steps of action to resolving the situation… Even if the first step to resolution is just taking a damn BREAK!
Thanks for another gem, Marie! ~Ali
Well, the Sh*t hit the fan for me yesterday when a contract I had lined up fell through and it has been the only source of revenue that I’ve been able to find lately… so… for a while I moped, for a while I panicked.
Then I remembered what Mastin Kipp says (who I found courtesy of Marie!), and it goes like this… When the Universe hands you a bad run instead of saying, “Why me?”, say “Try me!”.
So I did.
And it made all the difference to my attitude.
So while I am still in dire financial straights right now, I have moved on from caring about it to getting something else done about it. With all fingers and toes crossed for a brighter outcome!
Cheers Marie. You rock.
Nice new digs! I have a technique I use called The Magic Pause. It has never let me down! Before I freak, I take a beat, breathe, then wait to make sure I have no more freak (perhaps repeat steps as needed). The pause allows for the “bigger” notions to kick in. When it does (and it always does) I gain a new perspective on the issue at hand. Good stuff indeed. Thanks for a great post!
When “it” hits the fan the first thing I like to do is exercise. This helps me get in the right frame of mind and allows me to sit with the problem.
I try to really look at the situation through eyes from above. I first identify the problem. Then I try to pull my emotions away from the situation and I focus on solving the problem.
When I spend too much time being problem focused this is when my anxiety builds up but when I shift to being solution focused it is like slowly peeling an onion. With each little thought I am getting closer to the heart of the matter. I am often amazed at how many solutions I have been able to develop after really sitting with them.
Sometimes, it will take me days or weeks to figure out a solution but it is always there. The crazy thing is that I feel like my mind is on a timer. If I know I have to figure it out in 48 hours then it always seems to magically figure it out. But this is of course, with taking time to just sit and mull with it.
Come on Marie, I know you left something off that list. Girl, you know you start cussing like a sailor when sh*t hits the fan. I am certain a long line of expletives comes flying from your mouth when things aren’t working the way you planned. Am I right?
Marie,
I am all over the LOVE the tags that you have going on…..Gangster of LOVE!…brilliant! You are my deepest inspiration….are you kidding me with those incredible pants and beautiful bod! Work it out!
thank you for being a force a true authenticity for us multidimentional woman! You are super natural!
Marie,
When I’ve had a hard time First I evaluate how crappy it really is using the following scale:
(1) this will take years to get over
(2) this will make things uncomfortable for a while
(3) That was stupid… but it really doesn’t change my plans
The next thing I do is I analyze how I really feel. Feelings can be confusing, and some of the biggest choices in my life, even if their simple, can make me emotionally confused. I usually talk with my wife first, and then my mother. Once I understand what i’m going through, life becomes easier.
Third I make sure that I get some food, rest, and relaxation… and I usually look at the project on the following day. Getting a little RnR in clears the mind, gives you a break from banging your head against a wall, and helps to solve the problem efficiently.
I remember when i made a big business mistake. I ended up losing a lot of money on a project that I was SURE would work out. I remember thinking it would take me 1 to 2 years to recover from the loss, and a lot of pain in the interim. It took me about 3 months to become undepressed.
I love this Marie! I just wrote a similar piece for Love Your Life (http://www.loveyourlife.us/whats-in-your-back-pocket/) about having happiness tools ready for when the not-so-awesome days appear. Thanks as always for your advice (and killer dance moves:). See you in B-School!
Cary
Hey Marie,
I love your videos. (I’m a filmmaker, so please take that as a great compliment)
Quick suggestion: put a lav mic on, girl! The sound on this first episode in your new, swanky studio is sub-par. It is echo-y and could sound way better. All your previous episodes had great sound- this is a noticeable difference.
Cheers,
Sarah
First of all, you look amazing! Love the newish hair, the summer dress and the new studio
is totally sweet.
Glad to hear you reinforce not denying an occasional melt down, but also having some things in place as alternatives.
I actually do a Kundalini breathing exercise, alternating nostrils. This technique balances the chemistry of the left and right brain hemispheres. It works wonders. I actually do it on the plane and it helps control mid ear pain from pressure also. Check youtube for inst.
I play my drums when I’m stressed to bands like The Ramones.
And writing or typing really fast, getting all my *stuff* on paper and allowing myself to be really freakin honest and raw and then take a few deep breaths and say to myself, “okay girl friend, now it’s time to pull yourself together”.
Thank you for the fun video.
You are awesome!
For me it works fine just a cup of my favorite Starbucks coffee and a shopping therapy.
I just loooove your videos. They always make my day and give me inspiration for the whole week.
ps. love the outfit, too
Love it! not always easy to put things in perspective and in context, shizzle is sooo quick to hit the proverbial sometimes!
What’s helped me is like others have said remembering that “this too shall pass”, taking walks to clear my mind, playing music and dancing! Writing down thoughts helps too.
Feeling the emotion at the time, then move through and on from it. Oh, and stop when your mind /body tells you it needs a rest! Not always easy but worth it. Keep the quirkiness alive!
Love the new set!
Love the new dress!
Love the Dancin girl!
Great Topic too…here’s what I do:
1.) Flip out (cry, open a bottle of wine, call friends, cry some more)
2.) Flip my thoughts (think about the complete opposite of this situation and contemplate on how and what I want it to be (as if it were) until a great big smile comes to my face)!
3.) Keep that smile (and thoughts) movin’ forward
It’s only a blink in all of eternity!
Love Marie TV!
I’m an introvert, so talking to people about my setbacks is a big challenge for me – i feel judged and “not-together”. Even when the other person is all ears & love, I’m still awkward about it.
So I devised my own small formula that works for me every time.
1. Practice ‘pranayam’ (especially ‘kapalbhati’) – that is a set of abdominal breathing techniques in yoga that force fresh oxygen into the body. It reduces stress & also increases concentration which in turn helps in solving the problem at hand more efficiently.
2. Clearing – Take a sheet of paper. On one side write how you really want things to happen. As you write, your mind will keep saying “but, it wont work out because…” – write these “buts” on the reverse side of the sheet. Now you can take as many sheets as you like. Once you are done, I want you to tear them with your hands. Its like sending a message to the universe & yourself that while you acknowledge the odds against you, you will NOT give them power. Remember, its never the curse, but how much power we give the curse that pulls us down.
3. Learn something new: Sometimes the energy & focus needed in learning something new – a craft or even exploring a new site – is all the diversion you need to get over and get positive about the things around you.
This one was so needed for me this week!
Thank you 
I myself find that I have to get physical as in working out to dissipate the stressed out energies. I also need to take a break for 1-2 hours from work and then, come back when I’m not so frazzled. I find that spending time in nature helps too or walking in my favorite downtown with a Starbucks and window shopping. Oh, yeah, I scream in my car too! Ha ha ha!
To keep positive I make sure not to take it out on others and make others feel bad just cuz I do… I like to vent by journaling I usually lash back at people when I am in a bad mood and that I know is not ok to do so I “talk it out” on paper by writing down questions like “Why did this happen?” “what can I learn?” “What needs to change?” How do I move forward?
A client of mine is coming in a couple of hours. I’m just going to introduce two of the four with her. What a good timing! Thanks.
You will be happy to know, that I signed up for your videos for your cooky, authentic and delicious personality, NOT because of your previous digs, #justsaying. (liking your new digs, too!)
Now on to what I do when I am not in control…
1st, I remind myself that I am not in control and can only control my actions and reactions.
2, I think of something else. Yup, I totally drop it cuz if I don’t I can go bonkers and take it out on everyone, not pretty or sexy.
3, I put on a meditation cd, you know a guided one, so I don’t have to center myself, I can just breathe. I have them on my laptop, phone, cd…
4, I talk to my husband, which I have to give him directive that I am thinking to process and I don’t need him to FIX it. Otherwise, he becomes my target, lol (um seriously).
5, I do a brain dump, sounds nasty, but you started it with crap talk…I just write everything that is on my mind, just the way it is appearing in my head.
Love the new look!
When Shizzle hits the fan I veg out and watch Marie TV! I try to tap into any of my inspirational outlets and soon enough I feel better.
Love your work and cut dress! You are so speaking my language girlfriend. Perfect timing with your vid. Some major shizz went dizzown today as I lost my job after 6 years
This is how I coped with it all:
1) Release! I cried my eyes out for being treated badly in all this. When you think you know someone and have given them you all, It is amazing how nasty people can get & turn on you when bringing up the topic of entitlements ($)
2) Talk it out! Thank you to my amazing Hubby, my bff and my moms for your support
3) Journal, journal, journal! Brings me much clarity and is another form of release
4) Trust that the universe has my back and knowing that everything happens for a reason and that an amazing new opportunity is around the corner.
Much Love. x
Everything happens for a reason…so just go with the ups and downs…great tips as always and absolutely love the new look!
Hi, another down-to-earth, common-sense vid. Well timed for me asi averted a ‘melt down’ yesterday. Great stuff :0)
Great tips Marie! Here’s what I do:
-close my eyes, take deep breaths and try to get out of my head
-Review my gratitude journal
-Make myself smile and/or laugh
-Go for a walk
I, too, have specific steps I take when the yuk happens:
1) I figure out what is the universe trying to say? I want to learn the lesson this situation is teaching me … now … because I never want to be here again.
2) I surrounded myself with folks I trust. Even when I started BOBB – really a one-babe show – I asked friends to help me. I have an IT Babe, an Editor Babe, a Money Babe (waiting for the day when there’s revenue), and a few Writer Babes and Babe Magnets.
I’m unable to do this alone and the support, the “I’m in need” feeling turns into a brainstorming session or coffee and chocolate fest.
3) I developed this years ago, I call if my “You’re So Late Ratio”. If something or someone will take under one hour, I add 100%. If over 1 hour, I add 50%. If 1 day, I add … you get the point.
This technique eliminates frustration and hey, we all have stuff to do when just hangin’ around …. like that ever happens.
4) And, here is my failsafe. If none of the above happens I go run, or take a shower, or stream TV, or pull weeds … just anything to move me away. After awhile (and that is always a different amount of time) I can revisit the situation.
I ask myself, “Did someone die? Did the world stop spinning?
If the answer is ‘No’, well then it can be fixed.
Hope this helped,
shinazy
founder / writer
BOBBblog
Marie,
Thank you for the good tips. I’m excited about your offices please shoot a video tour.
Judith
B-R-E-A-T-H
Oh it has taken years to learn this one, but it does miracles. It shifts the attention to one-self and takes you out of the drama situation. It helps put things in perspective.
”If there is a solution to a problem, there is no need to worry. And if there is no solution, there is no need to worry.” Dalai
Plus, as Wonder-Marie says ‘Everything is figureoutable!!!!” (love this one)
It’s so nice discovering you on the web, Ms Marie.
Whenever I hit the rough road, i stop reacting and start acting like a movie actor playing the role of a protagonist with all the matching character traits of the leading character ready to head on to my next flawless (or I think flawless) dialogue (based on my agenda item of the day) or movement. (Ignore the hot blood rising to your hot cheeks and nose!)
Then when at last I’m home I briefly entertain my hurt feelings and shattered pride and emotions taking control to be playing my own host, nurse and psychologist in a limited and measured period of time (at most fifteen minutes to relax my disrupted breathing process due to the onslaught). After acknowledging and accepting that I had been hurt, I automatically start curing my emotional bruises (doing Five S on my feelings and emotions: 1. Segregate=classify good from bad, useless from useful, etc., by analysis 2. Sweep and shine = clean and polish my emotional field by actually going to the toilet and bathroom!, 3. Systematize and organize my feelings, emotions, my personality and character assets that remained in 1 = watch feel-good movies, read or socialize off-line or on-line, refocus and realign my hopes and dreams, etc. etc. 4. standardize= reviewing and modifying my personal house rules and policies = updating my do’s and don’ts to achieve my hopes and dreams, and 5. Style = making my new standards a habit to achieve my hopes and dreams. Takes more or less two hours for 5S and a lifetime for #5.
Having become my own guest and patient, I then pamper/fast/hybernate myself depending on my mood or energy level and pray on my waking period. Takes 5 to 8 hours.
Then the next day, having consciously summarized my case and totaled my balance sheet and heaped up my assets and brought out my goodwill from my name account (Criselda Salao Rubia), I prepare like a soldier, snappy, well fed, hygienically tinglingly fresh, well-scrubbed and well-dressed with a blank mind and mental default list of the new day’s agenda items. The next thing I know would be feeling like riding a jet plane, weightless and in style (forming the new habit).
What about my antagonist, I could see he/she had not made a good night sleep and had not achieved a photogenic look for the day. And! He/She had transformed into the right person. Smile. I won! It takes a lot of conscious effort to forget but you really need to let go of the trash emotions and feelings and let your positive aspects shine and control you now as you have planned the night before.
LOVE the new digs! Way styling and you look fab.
So my number one thing to get me out of the madness is a sweaty dance break to some soulful house music. After listening to the uplifting lyrics, nothing can take me down. And if I’m not in the mood for that then a nice video snippet from a Wayne Dyer talk always brings me back to what’s real.
How funny are you marie, crack me up.
I must admit, exercising and especially dancing is possibly my number release. An amazing feeling. and I also just stop and wait for 24 hours.
thankyou for confirming my shit haha.
Love you all so much all the way from Australia
Here is my mantra “It’s only worldly things…” which is a quote from my beloved dad, with my own addition to it: “WHO will care/notice (fill in the blank….) in 100 years time?!” It somehow sounds better in Swedish though….
But a HUGE amount of melt downs going on as well, I must admit….
Much love from a Swedish expat in Zurich Switzerland
I love the way your videos mix humour with business…business advice is usually so serious and scary!
My top tip for when things go belly up, is to challenge myself to look for one great thing that will come about only as a result of the disaster – even if it’s seems small or bizarre. For instance, I was working on a project with three people and I was so happy to have them all on board as they were all wonderful and would each bring something special to the project. A little way into the project, one person pulled out, completely out of the blue (and via a text message). My first reaction was horror and disappointment. But I used my ‘what’s wonderful about this?’ strategy and decided that it was actually going to be so much less of a headache to coordinate three diaries to organise meetings rather than four (turned out to be a big benefit!)! Loss vs gain. Helps balance the mind out of one-sided feelings of gloom or frustration!
Hi Marie, thank you soooo much for answering my question. This is now, by very far, my most favorite video of yours!!! Love, Camille x
I live by sayings. They’re like mantras so I can repeat them even when my ire is up.
1. “Breathe! Don’t speak. Just listen.” This keeps my brain bathed in oxygen so I know I’ll make a better decision and I am known for being highly opinionated so sometimes I need to not put my foot in my mouth.
2. “If it’s not yours, don’t own it.” Hey if shit is hitting the fan and you’re not the one to blame, don’t send yourself into a tizzy worrying about it. Stress only leads to more stress. This leads me to #3:
3. “Keep your side of the street clean.” Just do what you can and always do the right thing.
Love ya Marie!
Brianna
To put difficulties in perspective I tell myself one of two things.
It’s been worse!
Or
If this is the worse thing that happens to me today I’m ha e a good day.
Hi Marie,
When s*it hits the fan! Thanks again for all of the inspiration!
I’m a guy, but I still love your stuff! When is it okay for a guy to have a good cry?
My tip: remember those who are less fortunate, it seems to put things instantly back into perspective for me!
I try to get some perspective — by counting my blessings, or comparing my situation to some truly, seriously horrible ones (like the people in Colorado or Haiti or Darfur, etc.); by asking myself if this will truly matter in 5 years, or 5 months or even 5 weeks….
These are some of the things I do to get some true perspective.
Marie, I’m like you, very sensitive and feel things so passionately, so when things happen that suck, it gets me really down. Something I noticed is that I’m more likely to feel like the world is crashing down over something small when that something is out of my control. So that’s something I need to remind myself, as in “OK I’m only taking this to an extreme because i can’t really do much about it…and that’s precisely why I should let it go…”
mine is to take a break. get out in the sun, walk on the earth (barefoot) and tell myself – I give myself permission for all of my needs to be met. Open up to the soul-u-tion.
Space does the trick + a trusty friend who gets where I am coming from.
AH! Marie your so wonderful- where else can an independent songwriter go to get recharged when dealing with crazy fan stalkers before youve even hired a body gaurd or someone to help filter emails?
And how fitting that I can now carry Presleys words with me wherever I go
Thank you for rocking:)
Love,
Aja Lee
I’m in one of those phases where the shizzle has hit the fan for a few months so can relate to your video completely. I love the way you deliver it with humour. Very enjoyable. With my own phase of ‘shizzle’ I am taking the time out and not making any important business decisions until I’m over this phase. Thanks for sharing!!!
My shizzle hit the fan on Friday! I had a rough week-felt overwhelmed, angry, and depressed. I’m normally very chipper and chill! Friday morning was my break-down. But it actually inspired me to take action. I asked for a week off from my day job and requested every other Wednesday off so that I can focus a little more on my own business. I’m a B-schooler and building up my business. I felt much, much better after I took action to fix the problem! My break-down gave me courage to speak up for what I needed.
Amazing advice when coincidentally shizzle just hit my fan. This was the 1st video of yours that I’ve seen. I’m glad I watched it. Thanks so much
Well, I also acknowledge my feelings and rather than try to figure out where the reaction came from or WHY I’m feeling this way, I ask myself (and my guides) “What will bring me some relief in this moment?” Usually just making this my focus initiates a sense of comfort. Sometimes the answer is: “Focus on all that you have going for you – feel gratitude,” sometimes it’s “Take an L-theanine for the stress you are under,” or “Take a few deep breaths,” or, “Go golfing,” or “Give yourself permission to take some time out and relax, or cry or meditate, ” or “Talk to so-and-so and get some help with figuring this out.” The point is, I become my best friend and let go of judgement of how I got here and focus on what helps. Another practice I frequently employ is called Ho’oponopono – it’s from the Hawaiian culture and when I feel distress, it’s my ususal first go-to mindset shifter. It roughly translates into, “I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.” Look it up – it has worked wonders for me.
Dear Marie and everyone,
thank you for this video and for sharing your ‘Keep Calm’ Techniques.
I have learnt that what DOES NOT work is to stuff it down inside and keep ‘smiling’ … I completely agree that letting it out and creating a ‘Scheisse Buffer’ zone is key.
The few months before I moved countries felt like a maelstrom of emotions, with having to face stressful truths about my phd candidature / uncertainty about moving countries / bleak job prospects / possibly losing my beloved pets / learning about how to handle people better…
I feel so greatful that, with your material, plus a bevy of beautiful listening ears, I learnt to
(1) STOP.
(2) FEEL my panic / upset ** ALLOWING myself to feel it
(3) Breathe while I was feeling it
(4) Own my feelings
(5) Choose my words and communicate by listing
(a) Feeling.. “I am feeling eg. so hopeless and scared
(b) Stating what happened
(c) Acknowledging it was from my point of view, leaving space for other possibilities
(d) Allowing myself to see which aspects I could and could not control
Mostly I find that when I allow myself to feel whatever I am feeling, and focus on giving a balanced view. and communicating truthfully without blame, it feels like a pressure slowly releases once I talk it out;
Sometimes it takes multiple cycles of thiese steps. eg. BIG SCHEISSE (Shi*), or things that I have kept inside over time and have only slowly let it out.
<3
And the most important step was, after all that letting it out, and owning my feelings, was to retreat ‘into myself’ and take care of my ‘inner child’…something simple like curl up in a cosy corner with a nice tea, or even go for a surf or walk or boogie..whatever suits
Also, thinking up of the next baby steps to move on from the Scheisse hitting the Fan
I finally had the time to check out the video…loved it and the new studio (though I’m new and didn’t see the old one). I especially like the fact that you dance! That is the way I always get through anything that is going south. Since I practice hula, I generally put on the fastest songs so I get a good workout or I will say an ancient chant really loud. I know that “this too will pass” and, of course, it usually does.
Best thing I’ve found for those “Oh Sh**” or “I’m about to cry at work” moments…deep breaths (excuse yourself to the ladies if you do need to cry), and then, FORGIVE: yourself, the person freaking you out, the situation, whatever – just forgive, apologize, and love. That opens my heart every time and gets me right back to a place of clarity and positive energy (aka – my personal Power Point).
Shift Happens.
Warmly,
Tara
I remind myself that there is nothing in this world that is neither good nor bad but it is just my thoughts that make it so… It is a series of learning.
I try to remember that challenge = opportunity. Every frustration and problem you experience is the opportunity for a new breakthrough that takes you to the next level. Without difficulty, there would be no growth, and learning is what drives me.
Hey Marie! Thanks for this great video! and great timing as usual!! I just got a dud review and although I am fairly new in the review game it got to me a little bit.. I was like why didnt he say that to my face?? he was saying all the good sh**t to me after the gig but not in a review to the public..hmmm.. brave.. anyway.. so I talked myself through it..and then some more things happened this wekk.. but a good friend of mine says ‘when something is bringing you down – the up is just around the corner – the bigger the devil – the higher the level ‘ and .. this too will pass.. this is just getting me ready to play the BIG GAME.. so Im ready for it!!
xx p
Ooh preach, girl!
I’m a particular fan of letting myself melt down, when necessary. I once read a moving passage in a short story (Disquisition on Tears, by Stephanie Reents) that spoke not only of the permissibility of melting down, but of the necessity:
“‘Did you know,’ she said, ‘that crying is like urinating, defecating, or exhaling, that it rids the body of its waste and pain?’”
We NEED to melt down in order to move on. It’s not weakness; it’s growth.
Right on Nebula!
Opportunities in disguise of shizzle!
Every time I think it’s crap something good comes out of it!
You are ROCKIN’ my world Marie!!!
High pitch sqeeeeeelll……….oh yeah sister!!!
marie, i love you to pieces…
have I ever cut my bangs when I was upset? hahaha you’re damn right I have…
my iPhone shattered today because of the heat outside.. I cried. and then I danced in my living room and all was right again
I also stand in front of my mirror and do a stream of consciousness (all access style), works like a charm
Thanks marie! (and josh!)
I can’t even begin to express how glad I am that I found this blog. Wow girl, your advice is banging! I take dance breaks too lol – so glad I’m not alone in my craziness. Sometimes I go and mope for a while too and that helps clear the fog.
I LOVE the new set – amazing!
When I’m overwhelmed, I get in my car and go get some food (my house is often bare), listening to a motivational CD as I drive and then sit out in the sun for a bit.
ALWAYS makes me feel better!
xxDenise
My effective + instant therapies for those moments are:
1. Go breathe + meditate in my beautiful yard.
2. Spend time with dogs + kids.
3. Work out!
Thank you, Marie, for sharing your solutions!
I love your new set. I think it suites your style.
When the s… hits the fan I journal or go for a walk. It is amazing how this clears your mind and helps you get back on track. Mini meltdowns are OK too! Like when I lost my entire address book. It was a one tissue cry.
I just fell in LOVE with you!!! <3
Love your style, attitude and personality!!!
When things are going like a complete roller coaster at 100 mph, swerving, turning and taking loops …
Well I .. bible journal .. speak to the Lord.
I love to sing .. and worship God.
I love to workout .. and go to the beach and just look the ocean.
I also like ice cream, chocolate or cookie to make me feel better. LOL
Looking so forward to learning A LOT from you and see your great content.
Thanks Marie <3
When I feel crappy, I HALT.
am I Hungry?
Angry?
Lonely?
Tired?
If I am any of these things, I take care of as many as I can (eat a hot meal, take a nap, talk to a friend) until I feel relatively human again.
THEN, and only then, will I go back to the source of my stress and VOILA! Usually it’s not so bad anymore!
When the shizzle hits the fan, remember to HALT!
Love HALT! -;o)
Love your 4 suggestions Marie and of course the new fun look to your show!!! When things go wrong or get too much, I either head out into nature to reconnect and get some answers or I head inwards and meditate. Both work really well for me and help me get me back on track
xx Tehmina
I live by my favorite quote from the movie Tootsie. When Terri Garr finds out that Dustin Hoffman is dressing up as a woman, she gets very upset. When she gathers her things to leave his apartment, Dustin asks her where she is going. Terri replys. “I’m just going to go home and feel this way, until I don’t feel this way anymore.” Simply stated and so true.
Hey Marie!
I am a MMA fighter… which means I fight mixed martial arts. In a cage. It’s pretty awesome. Think UFC…
Anyways… when shit hits the fan, whether be in everyday training or worse – during a fight, I have a few things I do to straighten up and ground myself. (If shit is hitting the fan in a fight, THAT’S a major problem! lol)
First, I do this weird quirky thing, were I touch my fingers to my heals, kind of like in a kicking-my-own-butt motion, and then step. As I do this, I say “kick it off” or “step off it” in my head. Something like that to help my symbolically move it “out of my hands” into my feet and into the ground where I walk away from it and “start fresh.”
Also, a little mantra helps. Mine is “let’s do this.” I know that when I say that, I am telling myself I can handle anything. Deal with it now. Or deal with it later. Make a decision and then trust what you decided you will and can deal with accordingly.
Lastly, when Im in the shower, I imagine all my frustrations and raw emotions being washed down the drain. Off of me, and down it goes. Done with it. “The point of power is always in the present moment.” I like to get myself to a clean fresh slate where I can function more coherently.
<3
Great reminder this one. I have been utterly resisting letting myself have a melt down and I am now convinced if I do, it will pave the way for clarity.
Off to get melt down on and shed the shizzle…
Love Jxox