Mistakes. Loss of judgment. Insensitivity. Diarrhea mouth.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all screwed up and consequently hurt someone we care about.
Of course, an authentic apology can go a long way towards making things right. But unless we get this simple act of saying “I’m sorry” just right, we’re likely to add insult to injury.
In this video, you’ll learn the simple two-letter word that can destroy your chances to repair your relationship when things go wrong and how to avoid it.
Got any more I’m sorry wisdom to share? Lay it out here in the comments, baby.
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Hey Maria, Great Video!!
Taking accountability for your mistake is huge!
Also, where did you get the Bullshit button????
I so want one!
Hey Laurel – here’s the button baby
http://www.amazon.com/PinkCatShop-Bullsh-t-Button/dp/B000L70MQO
Awesome! You found a Bullshit Buzzer too! How much do you love it?!
LOVE – it’s on my desk right now. Thank YOU for the inspiration. Golden.
Maria,
Nice video – I know now that we are on the same wavelength as I could predict the 2-letter word.
BTW (and this is a compliment!) whenever I watch your videos, these Seal lyrics come to mind: “….we’re never gonna survive unless…we get a little crazy….”
Please tell me where I can get the Bullshit button?
Lori in Indy
Hi Lori! The link is above. And, I love that song so thanks for the compliment.
Hey there Marie! I am a recent and huge fan! xoxo
Fantastic advice re the little “if” word. I’ve also observed how sometimes the if word morphs into “I’m sorry YOU feel that way” or “I’m sorry YOU think I offended you.” You replaces the if yet does the same dirty job.
Thanks for your sparkle and brilliance!
Carrie
ooh. Good one Carrie!
Maria,
I learned about apologies as a small business owner. I love your presentation, much better than the source I learned it from! You are so funny and entertaining! Thank you!
Great advice! I also like the comments from Carrie adding the word YOU. I think this personalizes it more and makes it seem more sincere.
Thanks gals.
P.S. I’m gonna get one of those bullshit buttons….awesome!
Yup, yup. Great advice as usual, Marie.
The toughest part is when they are not cool right away and need some time. That’s when you both find out if you were really sorry or just saying it. Still being sorry after they don’t forgive you right away is hard – but that’s when it really matters.
Yeah. That cool off period can be tough, but often, we all need it!
I’ve really been working at getting my apology words right! And even teaching my children the correct way to do it… the art of doing it sincerely.
Yes. It’s definitely an art worth mastering.
Outstanding and profound advice, Marie! I am a serial offender when it comes to the “IF” word. It has been something of a struggle to remove it from my apologies, but I am making progress. Thanks for your insight.
Thanks Greg. We all do from time to time. That awareness is really the first step.
Awesome! An honest apology goes a long way.
Thanks Marie for doing what you do, great video!
Hi Marie,
I like this video. I wanted to add the word “but” as another unforgiving word. “If”, “You” and “but” totally shifts personal responsibility and can feel like personal attack words to another person. Thanks for the great and fun video.
Thanks Marie! Boy did I learn this lesson the hard way! I think the word “YOU” is just as bad. Great reminder!
Eye rolling, that would be my daughter! Oh she’s so good at it!
Marie, you are gorgeous! I miss you and need another Marie weekend!!!!!
Your cranium must be protecting some very vlaualbe brains.
This is such an important life skill. I thought I was good at apologising but the ‘if’ definitely slipped my watch. Thank you for pointing it out. Another word (which I though you were going to say) is BUT. Oh, man…why bother apologising if you’re going to immediately follow it with something defensive? That’s not an apology that’s an excuse wrapped up to look like an apology and that is worse than just hoping the problem will go away.
On the occasions where I have upset someone I can usually work out what it was that I said or did and so, I will usually start with that – acknowledging that my comment was thoughtless etc. I have found that on certain people that this approach seems to make it worse. Why is this? Is it the confrontation?
Thats genius Marie! Thanks – I will give the ‘if’ a miss next time!
Marie…excellent advice and counsel. I knew the word was “if” and was screaming my answer to your video (obviously to no avail).
It is one of the most annoying things to hear anyone say (be it politicians, lovers, friends or foe)…”If I have offended you in any way…blah, blah…”
Have a great time in South Africa. If my memory serves me well, your “Junior Partner in Crime,” Laura Roeder will be participating in the Sir Richard Branson experience as well.
May you both gain many valuable insights that you may share.
Kindest regards,
John
_____________________________
John A. Fallone
President, Biz Dev Consultant & CEO
Traininguru
Hey Marie!
Ahhh yes… I heard this from you sometime back when I first started following and it has STUCK with me. I am very aware of it every time I am tempted to use that dirty two-letter word in an apology.
Loved it- been passing your link to all of my friends- great reminder for apologies … BTW I spent last week walking around the house blurting out “I’m here” after your last video LOL
Marie,
Love your spiritual “stuff” and love your saucy, sexy self!
Fabulous. That tiny word makes such an impact in all the wrong ways.
Your vid style is really inspiring for how natural you make it seem…and how much of you seems to shine through…thank you
As always, great reminders & advice! LOVE, LOVE the BS button! xoxo
Marie, another inspiring video just when I need it. Thank you so much. I love how natural and easy your videos are. What are the three books behind you? (One I already recognize as Make Every Man Want You <3)
Awesome Marie, this was so tough for me until I really started to love myself. I couldn’t really even go there because it would feel so bad to apologize because underneath I was judging and hating myself for making a mistake. My apologies were those fake ones (Gosh, sorreeee, with the get over it tone of voice). Whew now I can be really sincere because I don’t beat myself up when I make a mistake. It’s so amazing because not only can I say sorry and mean it, but I can really go into what I did and how it affected them and really be there for them while they express their feelings and it feels kinda good. I feel love and compassion for me and them. And the amazing thing is…this kind of deep apology helps them get over it faster! Thanks for letting me share… Love you!
You just keep finding all these fabulous ways to make us happier Marie!
Thank you so much
When you’re on the receiving end of a sincere appology, it can mean the difference between mending a relationship (any kind – partner/work/etc) and holding a grudge. Thanks for the reminder that when I hand them out they need to be heart felt and meant. I like your view on taking it further and asking if there is anything you can do. Very cool.
Love this! And I agree completely. Now I think I need to show it to my hubby.
~Piper
Marie, I am loving this new segment. It feels soooo right.
Big fan of how you’re bringing the ‘whole’ into holistic biz (but keeping it real at the same time.
You’re inspiring, Lady: your work makes my life (and my business) so much better.
Marie your advice is so powerful and so honest. Such a small word can destroy a lot of things. Keep up the good work.
Hi Marie! Fan of yours (via Laura Roeder) for some time.
Right on– words are powerful! Watching out for certain words (if, and as others have said, but or you) is a good strategy to remember when you’ve just got to apologize.
I believe refocusing for a moment on how someone outside the situation would see it is another tool to help you remember to boot the “if” out of it. And refocusing also helps you see the good to commend them on, too!
Thanks for being so authentic for all of us!
Great post…enjoyed it, learned something useful, & feeling inspired. Thank you.
This makes me realise how hard it can be when I know I’ve pissed someone off- because I want them to like me, so I’ll say anything to make it “okay”, but not really a genuine apology. Thanks Marie.
It’s hard to say I’m sorry and to give good apology is not easy.So we should learn both so that we don’t hurt any one.
Since you indicated “It’s hard to say I’m sorry,” I could not resist:
http://bit.ly/6ZrHm0