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How To Get Anything You Want

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Ever wonder why some people make things happen and others seem to struggle?

In today’s video training you’ll learn how to break free from what I call the “cycle of self-deception.”

You’ll also learn about two four-letter words that can make or break your success.

And finally, I’ll show you a simple, fool-proof exercise to help you get whatever you want, whenever you want it.

Be sure to watch till the end because there are two questions I’d like you to answer.


So whatcha think?

Do you have any proof about the decision coming first?

How about ways you use the “lack of money/lack of time” excuse?

Leave a comment below.  I’d love to hear from you!

Marie Forleo

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Rebecca Tervo

I remember one of the best things that happened in my life…I made the decision to pass the CPA exam on the very first try. (at that time, the statistic was that 7% of participants passed the exam on the first try)

What made it much more interesting was that I was a mom to two little boys, ages 3 and 1, and had a part time job which was an hour away from where we lived. So many things fell into place when I actually made that decision. Turns out we happened to live 40 min away from one of the top accounting colleges in the country (I didn’t know that until this decision happened)…and I signed up for their live CPA review course. My boss, my husband, and my friends were soooo supportive. Between taking the class every weekend and studying all other free parts of my days, it was a lot of time away from my family. Gave me even more reason to pass it on the first try. I don’t know who was more thrilled when I got my results…me or my husband:)

Anyway, I try to remember that all the hard work, blood, sweat and tears I put into that goal really did make the achievement sweet.

Since then, of course I’ve had lots of ups and downs, and 2 more children, and money battles with my husband….now I have my own business. I have heard myself say “we can’t” a lot in the past few years. I really think this is the time I needed to hear this message again to make me remember “I CAN!”….I need to model this for my children, who I know can do anything they set their mind to.

Thanks, Marie….great message:)

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Kelly Kren

Hey Marie!

That was amazing! Everything you said just really rang true. For me my “want to make happen” list is less business related and more personal (get married for the right reasons and start a family) BUT your points are still completely right on! So, let me take your key point and say that I won’t tell you all the “what and hows” of how I will apply this new insight because I want to give it some clear thought. I can say though that the words TAKE ACTION play a huge roll and answer the “what next?” question. Thank you so much for this. You are forever an inspiration!!! XOXO Kelly

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Molly

Hey Marie,

This is my first time commenting on your blog. I actually stumbled across you by a quick video referral by Katie Frieling!

Anyway, love your style and I find you very refreshing compared to all the other “stuffy” gurus online today.

I have to tell you, I really needed to hear this message today because I was caught somewhere between being in action and making up excuses and it was really wigging me out!

I 100% agree that you need to move into action for things to show up. Just recently, I was having a pity-party about things just not moving and shaking in my business like I wanted and I just sucked it up and started taking action and I ended up attracting a new business partner and now we are working on a new product together!

Thanks for this great training, I know it will help many others as it has me!

Keep Rockin’
~Molly

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Lyn

Proof about a decision coming first was when I lived in a 4 bedroom house. I wanted to down size. I loved my home but not the maintenance that was involved. I wanted a place where I could travel and my grass would be cut in my absence. I didn’t want a lot of huge trees to worry about with leaves and trimming and I wanted something new. I discovered these condo’s being built very close to my home. I could choose my own counter tops, fireplace or not, I wanted light, it was east/west exposure. I am still living in the place of my heart’s desire, and love it!

My lack of money excuse: I want to retire from teaching but I am so afraid I won’t have enough money to see me through retirement, I’m 61. I don’t mind working in another area, would actually love to stay fit teaching yoga classes for children and or aging adults but never seem to find the time to pursue training. I would be very good at it, I know, and it would be a way for me to stay in good shape as well. I just never seem to find the time or energy to carry it out. It is “easier” for me to continue working at what I have always done than to venture out on a new path ………where I might fail :(

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Britt

What a great video and such a terrific message, Marie.

So, one of the things that I have always found myself saying is not that I can’t do something, but rather that I am having a block and trying to move past a road block. I know that I will get beyond it, I just can’t always see HOW to do it and one of the things I haven’t been doing is making that list of ways to make it happen. I think that I do it, but I really don’t make the right kind of list.

One instance of when I made decision and things fell into place was when I went to Ali Brown’s Shine event in Vegas and my sole intention in attending that event was to meet entrepreneurs who I could strategically partner with to grow my business. As soon as I arrived, I met up with some friends who I had known prior to the event and they introduced me to more people. Before I knew it, I was having dinner with a table of the exact people I came to meet! And now I am partnering with a couple of them… so I made the decision and made it happen.

One of my biggest excuses (as you know) for not being able to afford things is that my husband is very tight with our budget. He does not like to spend money on things that he doesn’t see as valuable (and I don’t like to fight). Most of the time I can talk him into what I want, but it isn’t always the case…

When I think about what will change as a result of seeing this little training video (that I envoyed thoroughly BTW ;) it has to be that when my husband says no or makes a stink about paying for something, I am NOT going to take that as the answer… I am going to figure out how I can make it happen!

Thanks for a great little video! You are fabulous and I am really loving what you are doing with your videos right now. They get better with every one! :)
.-= Britt´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at =-.

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Kristen

I never leave comments or posts anywhere, but in the spirit of the training in taking action and since you asked, here goes…my favorite example of the decision coming first was when I was talking to someone about how I couldn’t take a vacation (this touches on the can’t language you brought up in the video training as well). I was too busy at work, didn’t have enough money, what I REALLY wanted was to do yoga and seakayaking but I can’t because I am alone and didn’t have my own boat, blah, blah…after the conversation, I was driving home and it REALLY hit me that I REALLY did want to do yoga and seakayaking…and I wanted to figure something out. I completely felt it in every part of me. The next day before work, I googled ‘yoga and sea kayaking’; found a cool trip that provided all equipment and was reasonably priced (we were camping); made a plan to get a ton of my work done; asked co-workers to cover the meetings that I’d miss; presented my boss with the plan; did my taxes (and realized I’d have a refund); and booked the trip. It was SO easy! I worked my tail off to get my stuff done, but I was happy to do it. And my co-workers and boss were thrilled that I was getting out of the office and doing something so cool. The trip was amazing! A great, very tangible example of the decision coming first. Which is a lesson I seem to need to revisit over and over again…so thanks for the reminder Marie! Whenever I get an email from you, the topic always resonates with what I need to hear that day…hmmm…what were you saying about the universe bending to support you??? best, kristen

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Kate Northrup

Hey Marie – fantastic video – what a fun little nugget – so generous of you! My favorite part of this training video was about that you must do everything on your list when you do the list exercise. I so often create lists with brilliant ideas for action steps and then I peter out after one or two action steps. I love that you said that the thing that will make what you want to happen happen is on that list so you MUST do everything. That really hit home with me.

A brief story of the decision coming first in my life is that I was going for a big rank advancement/promotion in my company. I had been “going for it” for two years and nothing was happening because, if I was really honest with myself, I wasn’t truly committed. Then something switched and I announced to my whole team that I was doing it and I set a date to have it accomplished by. Then all of a sudden, out of the blue, my friend Liza called me to tell me that she was spending the month in NYC and that she wanted to do three presentations a week with me during that time. This was exactly the sort of partnership and support that I needed to accomplish my goal and it happened literally within a day or two of me making my declaration (and she, by the way, had no idea about my goal for the rank advancement when she called.) You can call it manifesting, but I like to call it magic :)

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Eleanor

This is amazing Marie, I love this video. How right you are!

An example for me with riding (horses) is the following:
I used to let upsets, fears, etc. take hold of me and as a consequence I rode & jumped with fear. My mind would say “you can’t do that, you’ll fall and get hurt, you’ll get impaled by the pole” or some other rotten yaddayadda EVEN though I deeply enjoyed & wanted to get back to where I had been years ago when I was a good jumper.
When I decided I was going to really do well, it was a decision where I just told myself “I don’t care what you say, I’m going to do this and do it well, so you better get your &*& together”, magically I was able to see what I needed to do and do it. I found a horse that I love riding and it’s all incredibly smooth – night & day in comparison with before. Now, my trainer is really happy and praising me after each course run rather than screaming directives. He’s now on the sidelines encouraging and I feel relaxed, in control and do better and love what I’m doing.
I know this is a sports example, but I think that it can apply to anything: money, relationships, work, whatever.
Congratulations on a superbe video and your wonderful work!
Your fan in Brazil,
Eleanor

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Melissa Wright

Wow, what a great video! You have definitely given me a lot to think about, or really pushed me to make sure that I am taking action. It was really interesting for me watching your video to realize all of the negative thoughts that I had just listening to your advice on how to get what you want. Not only does my brain first think of reason why I can’t do things, but it also seemed to come up with reasons why the things I could do won’t work. It was very eye opening. I love that you say that solutions will never come from thoughts, but from actions.

One time that I have proof that the decision comes first is when my husband and I decided that we wanted to buy a house and eliminate all of our other debt. At the time I wasn’t sure how we would afford buying a house because we were living paycheck to paycheck. My parents, out of the blue told us they wanted to give us $10,000 towards the down payment and his parents also gave us a few thousand. I was also able to withdrawal almost $10,000 from my 401K and we were able to buy our house within 6 months of when I set my mind to it. It then took us about 8 months to pay off all of our other debt.

Some how I have let us slip back in to a situation where we I feel that we can’t afford what we want to do . I have invested a lot of money into my business and in educational products, but still have not seen any results. Thank you so much for posting this message and teaching me that I just need to start taking action in order to fix my situation!
.-= Melissa Wright´s last blog ..What I have learned from the Olympics =-.

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Kristen

Hey, Marie! Once I decided to start my own business — which was pretty much on a whim that came to me almost out of nowhere and I just sort of ran with it — things sort of “magically” started falling into place pretty quickly. I wanted to take a class at a local university and that didn’t work out, so I registered for a bunch of classes at a nearby Adult School. That turned out to get things moving along SOOO much more quickly than they would have had I gone to the university class first! I’m taking that class now, but I really got a much better, faster start taking the other route. They say “everything happens for a reason,” and I really believe that’s true!

As for the “can’t” vs. “won’t” issue, I’ve often pointed that out to other people when they say they “can’t” do something. It’s usually about choice, not about limitations…although there are some situations that are beyond your personal control. :)

Thanks for the suggestions! I like the list idea. And I do occasionally have to remind myself about the choices I’m making that I CAN control. ;)

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Jeanne

Hi Marie, thanks for this. It is so true.

When I made the decision to go for it and do what it takes to put The Ruby Books out into the world (a story I finished writing into a screenplay in ’05 and was sitting in a drawer), I went 100%. I found an illustrator to turn it into an online illustrated story because I COULD do that, whereas I’m not in a position to make it into a movie.

As a result of putting it out there (scare me!… and why it sat in a drawer for all those years), I am now experiencing all kinds of gifts from the Universe, and yeah, it kind of makes you a believer. Really, I already did believe, but I think when it’s something I REALLY want I’m inclined to believe this belief system doesn’t work for EVERYTHING.

I’m so glad I decided to go for what I most want to see see realized in my life because it’s really life-affirming to see this principle in action… and you’re right, it’s proportional: the degree to which I go for it is the degree to which I get surprise gifts from the Universe.

Thanks for such a great vid, Marie!
:)
Jeanne

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Mary

I listened to the video to find out the two four letter words and am very happy I did because I learned much more. The concepts were presented a bit differently than I have ever heard but some of the declarations did remind me of similar training I’ve had. One thing I learned again tonight was the power of relearning the learned (and buried). The video did inspire me to start actively taking control of my life and my accomplishments – even if it is to sort out the “stuff” I need to sort out so I can put some order in my life. I compliment you on the presentation – short and to the point with excellent examples. I am sure I will listen to it again and again.
Thank you for the inspiration! Now I am going to go take some action that I just “couldn’t” do before! Mary

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Amanda Roquemore

As always,Marie, thank you for sharing your awesome insight! I’m a fashion blogger looking to become a virtual fashion stylist to reach women around the world. In addition, I’m gradually shaping my blog into an online fashion boutique for women in their 20′s, 30′s and 40′s. Honestly, there is something for women at every age, but I’ve learned to pick a niche and start there. I’ve teamed up with retailers and have started putting together outfits on my blog to make it easy and effortless for women to buy outfits based on their needs. I’ve also teamed up with Mark. (affiliated w/Avon) to sell clothing and makeup to provide a one-stop shop for my readers as well.

Since I’m in the beginning phases of making my dreams come true, I’m launching much faster by using your great advice! Limiting beliefs are prevalent in my thought process and can be a real dream-killer, but your description of “can’t vs. won’t” brought awareness of this self-defeating process. I look forward to more wonderful advice and hopefully becoming a member of your Rich, Happy and Hot mastery program!
.-= Amanda Roquemore´s last blog ..Fashionista’s Outfit Deal: The Blues =-.

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Cydney

I have a great example of this! 10 years ago, My soon to be husband and I were looking to buy a home. We had a hobby of dog sledding, and had 6 dogs/pets that we trained and had fun w/. We had talked/dreamed about having a dog sledding adventure business (I should say, I was raised in the suburbs, so this was already a new thing). We decided to buy a home where there was a high snowfall, so in the area we lived that was near a ski mountain about 30 minutes away. We also wanted a log home, that was solar powered. And from here providence did open up…

We called a real estate agent, and told her about what we wanted: A house, on the end of a dead end road with lots of trails to run our dog sled team from. And we were interested in solar power/alternative energy. Oh, and we did not have very much money.

She paused, and said.. Well, there is a place just like you are describing. I never show it because it is in poor shape, and needs some cleaning up. We decided to go check it out anyway. Fell in love, evaluated the cost to fix up and purchased it the next day! We were telling her about our dream to have a dog sledding business while driving to view the home. At this point we had 6 ‘fun’ dogs and a sled. No business experience, no equipment, and no knowledge of running a large kennel or much experience with dog training.

3 days after we signed the purchase agreement, Mount Snow – a major ski mt. in southern VT called me. They would like to talk to us about our dog sledding business, and the possibility of operating out of their base. Turns out the real estate agent was on the planning board for the town, and so was the marketing director for Mount Snow.

A few weeks later, we had one of the first contracts for dog sledding w/a major ski resort on the east coast. We had access to the snow the Mt. made for skiing. With that contract (in June), we got a small loan for equipment and dog purchases, and by Thanksgiving we had 20 dogs, sleds, and lots of training time. We operated there and in the green mountains for 3 seasons and then decided to move on to other adventures. We have provided all our family income from our own businesses since then (I am on my 3rd now).

Once we made the decision to make this happen, it did. We made money and had a blast and a once in a lifetime experience.

Long story, but one that still inspires and informs what I do in my life. It was almost unreal, how it all came together. Yet, it was real :)

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Karen Armstrong Quartarone

Marie, it’s been said many times many ways, but I’m going to have to chime in with the ladies here… GREAT TRAINING!

1. Needed to hear the “can’t” vs. “won’t” message to reinforce my *conscious* use of empowering language.

2. Loved your “T” list exercise… simple and powerful strategy for getting what you want.

Re: proof about the decision coming first…

In the summer of 2002, I was getting ready to leave the Navy and was struggling over whether to follow my dream of living in Italy for a year teaching English, or settling down and getting a ‘real’ job like all my other friends were doing.

Nearing 30 and feeling the fear of not following the conventional path, I made the decision to go to Italy. I went with no job in hand, just a one-month TEFL course (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) in Rome.

What happened? The day after the course ended I got a teaching job and less than two months later I met the love of my life (now husband!). And almost 8 years later, I’m still here! And more wonderfully serendiptous things have happened as a result of that decision than I’ll go into here.

Thanks again, Marie…

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Nora from in. Wellness

Hey Marie,
Great video. Thank you so much for it.
I have a question… I currently divide my time between being a school social worker 3 days per week, and spending the other two doing nutrition and wellness coaching. I really want to grow my practice even further. I want to commit myself 100% to doing this. Strike that. I commit myself 100% to do this. My other job does eat up a lot of my time, but I need (or think I need) the income to support myself while my practice grows. So my question is, does my other job fall into the wishy/washy holding myself back category? Or is simply a demonstration of doing what I need to do for now in order to devote myself to my business. I am thinking of the example of you have of taking on an extra job so you can afford the thing you want… Hopefully this question makes sense! Any guidance you can provide would be so so appreciated.
Best,
Nora

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Deborah Parra

Marie, You are absolutely right about the decision being made first. Many times I would agonize over a decision (sometimes years i.e. as in whether or not to pursue a masters degree). But once a decision is made, nothing gets in the way; in the example of advanced degree – not young children, full time career, health issues, etc., etc. got in the way – I took longer, but never wavered from accomplishing it. Things happened along the way to initiate a change to the methodology, but the goal/end result was still finishing the degree. That was years ago, and I find over and over the things I truly want (i.e. commit to) do happen, and the wishy washy indecisiveness does “cause” wishy washy results.
In personal and/or business relationships I find I when I “make up my mind” about whether to pursue a relationship with someone works better than when I “can’t” (now I know I know its because I “won’t”) decide how I feel about the person. Letting intuition and gut reaction make those decisions works very well – and quicker – than waiting for my brain to process all the details and risk being stuck at “can’t decide”..Trusting myself to make the right first decision (gut/intuition) and not second guess (left brain/ego). Too many years in the business world with men, I’ve almost lost touch with the intuitive side of me: its an efficient screening tool and I need to get it back.
Lack of time – wow, I used that one several times today alone!
In thinking over my “decision comes first” moments I realize the act (you mentioned you have to take action) even if it is writing out obstacles and options – is a move towards the desired outcome, and is the one unifying thing (at least for me). So, in dealing with my perceived lack of time, I have jotted down several ways I will gain/take back time in my workday; until this evening I did not, yet “had time” to complain about it…

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Rebecca

Marie thank you for the insight!
Two years ago I made the decision to move closer to the ocean. Suddenly I got a job and everything just came together for me and here I am.

I would like to go back to school but often blame lack of time and lack of money. I will now make the decision to go back to school and just do it!

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Jennifer

Hi Marie,

How funny that I read your e-mail with the link to this new video while procrastinating from studying! Hmm.. I think that’s the universe telling me to get my butt back in gear, plus your lesson was just what I needed.

My example of the decision coming first relates to my decision to go back to school and become a chiropractor. There have been many times when I’ve asked myself ‘Am I crazy!’ but my decision and the fact that I’ve announced it to the world has helped to keep me going.

I’ve used the lack of time/money excuse more times than I can count. It’s usually when I’m afraid to do something or don’t want to do something that it’s more convenient for me to say ‘I can’t afford it or don’t have time’ rather than being honest.

I’m definately going to try your list exercise every time those doubt hamsters start running on their wheels. It’s time to be honest and enjoy being honest. Thanks so much for this video and may I say the format rocked!

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joan

Making the decision first really does work. I had worked all my life as a salaried employee and decided to take a leap of faith and take a position that was on commission and in a totally different field. I also decided to take this position full time when others had only done it part time. This was a sales position and my former job was banking. I was required to find my own market and build a business. Guess what i proved that not only could it be profitable and rewading but i made it a career and others have followed.I think i needed this reminder at this time because there is something i have been contemplating recently. Thank you the exercise suggested is excellent.

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molly

Marie!

Thank you for sharing. My jaw is on the floor – that video just answered about a 100 questions I’ve always wanted to ask you.

You’re a rock star.

Thanks again!
molly

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Kamelia Sojlevska

Your explanation of I CAN’T opened my eyes. I was always using this and neve thought that actualy I don’t want it….it was eyes opening
Thank you for clearing up the process….when I couldn’t make it- I couldn’t decide it

Best
Kamelia

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Nancy

Hi Marie,

I LITERALLY made a decision about 2 hours before seeing this video to really figure what I want and NOT be wishy washy anymore. I was going to come home and write a list of everything but your T-list looks like it will add way more value than just a list.

I really like what another person said “It’s time to be honest and enjoy being honest” – knowing what we want means that we will have to say to no other things or people despite what reaction we will get. I felt so connected to you in this video and I couldn’t help but shed a tear and be grateful to this amazing universe that conspires to help us when we tell it what we want…thank you Marie :)

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Salma Jafri

Marie,

Thanks for this :)

It made me realize that so many of my thought-decisions in the last year or so are now maturing or have come to fruitition.

I decided to have my own website – now do, however amateurish it may look.

I decided to write for a print publication – just got a contract to do that last month and wrote my first article for them.

I (we) decided to have a baby – got pregnant the very next month.

I decided to expand my business – now have a 6-member team to work with.

These (and more) are just some of the decisions I’ve made in my life in the past year or so and I’m seeing their results come in slowly but steadily.

As for your 2nd question: excuses.

I always seem to use the no money excuse for not taking a vacation, even though I really desperately want to go take one. But it always seems that I could spend the money in a better way – save it for my child’s education, or buy some stuff to invest in my business, or whatever. I think this summer I’m going to plan a travel itinerary and make it happen, no more excuses!

Thanks for this – I’m sending it to my husband and sister, both of whom who could use some more positive decision-making powers in their life :)

Salma.

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Arlo

Marie! Marie! Marie!

How did you get so wise so young?

During my eighty-two years on this spaceship called “Earth,” I’ve been “up” and I’ve been “down,” but I have never “stayed put!”

A decision to commit 100% closes lot’sa doors, forcing “Source” to cease scattering its energy in all directions and focus instead on the path of the decision, thereby burning through all obstacles, much as the sun’s rays, consentrated to a point by a magnifing glass, quickly cause the subjected object to burst into flame!

There is no point in running…if we’re on the wrong road!

Arlo R. Hansen

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rina

Hi Marie,

I am a Lebanese 25 year-old who is graduating this month in Master’s Degree in architecture, in Tokyo! How I got here is my story.
I was in the middle of my very hectic last semester of grad school and I was driving myself crazy thinking of what to do next. I was not ready to work and was really dreaming to set off on my own and do a Master’s degree somewhere really cool, but me and my parents couldn’t possibly afford it. So one night, I sat at my computer to download something, and I opened a google tab to pass the time, and I started searching for random things, one of which was a scholarship program to Japan. To my surprise, I found that the Japanese government was offering fully paid scholarships for 4 Lebanese that year, but as I looked at the deadline which was the noon after the following day in a different city, all my excitement turned into a relaxed “I can’t possibly make it”. I was even relieved by that thought! But right after that, I got an idea: I want to try everything I can to make it happen. The next and only day I had was of course one of the most hectic days of my life. I ran all around campus trying to get transcripts and recommendation letters that normally took at least two days to issue and I begged and worked all my charm into getting all of that. I made a portfolio that same day, filled out 6 applications and two study plans that I had to come up with on the spot, called my dad who is a doctor and begged him to fill up my medical papers without a physical, I printed, photocopied, photographed, made cd’s, and of course I didn’t attend any of my classes. The next day was the deadline, I took a very early bus from the North of Lebanon to Beirut, my mom picked me up, and we even had to stop at a photo studio to take photos 20 minutes before the embassy stopped accepting applications. My mom was driving like a maniac but it did get us there in time to submit 2 minutes before the deadline, and be the last applicant on a list of hundreds! And that was only the beginning, because the tests and interview I had to do later coincided with my deadlines for my final project. I went to the interview after a night of not one minute of sleep, without having taken a shower, all the while working on my laptop on the bus on the way there, and the way back, and I was sure that I didn’t get it because of the reck I was.
But this story has a happy ending, because I got the call on the day of my big presentation, started jumping on the couch just like Tom Cruise on Oprah, and came here! The rest wasn’t really a piece of cake, because to my surprise I was supposed to study and attend school IN JAPANESE after having arrived here a tabula rasa, but I made it! I am graduating in 2 weeks, and not only that but I also met the MAN OF MY DREAMS here, another Lebanese born and raised and settled in Japan. And trust me, there are not many Lebanese here, let alone the man of my dreams!
Our wedding(s) are going to be this coming July, one in Lebanon and one in Japan.
And whatever am I going to do next? I am giving up architecture (discovered its not really what I wanted, even with a Master’s from Japan) and am determined to start my own shoe line. How? NoooOooo idea yet. ( I am still at the decision phase). Watch out for a brand called Rina’s Turtle!

rina

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Grace

Thanks Marie for this piece of video.

Its a nice one for me and an eye opener to those things that shaded and darkened my ideas of progress.Once again, thanks.

Well, i am a banker that earns monthly salary to make my living but i see this as a waste of time in my life. Living a life without creating any impact from your own idea is a waste to me.
I always have idea to start a business of my own but when it gets to the point f starting, i always think of money and time. The reason being that i get to the office as early as 6am and gets back home by 9pm. On weekends, i go for my masters lecture outside my city and even when i did not go i will have one seminar to attend.
This acts takes most of my time to think of how to embark on my ideas in my decision making to be established.
I surf the web to get ideas to start but to start the decision i made is like HELL. I always think of time to start and money to get materials thinking that if i buy materials wont that take all my money for transportation and time to really get that done.

Anything that will add to my knowledge and what will make me stand alone incase i want to resign from the banking job is what i desire, banking job is energy sapping.
This video really help and i will keep watching and learning from it to get enlightened and to kill the spirit of i can’t in my life.

please i need more words of i can make it in life from you.
Thank you Marie for being there for us.

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Pamela

THANKS for being so down to earth and real, Marie … Your message is so true about the 2 four letter words (Can’t and Won’t).

I am in a profession that is in its’ infancy: Polysomnography – a healthcare professional in the sub-specialty of Sleep Medicine. I need to preface the reasons I am writing you about these two words with a little history about this healthcare profession’s struggle with credentialing:

It used to be that many of the people working in this field had come from other healthcare disciplines (RNs/RTs/EMTs) and have learned this sub-specialty by being given on the job training to supplement their healthcare skill sets. For example, when I was hired (several years ago) at a hospital, was taught this on the job as there were no local college courses for this field … we just crossed over from, say, Nursing to Sleep Technology.

But, now that there is a bigger awareness of sleep apnea, and sleep disorders in general, skilled healthcare workers are in demand for these positions, which recently has caused a lot of things to happen to our industry:

A)
One of those things was negative … Friends Hired Friends – even if they were NOT qualified to care for someone … and then, they gave very little training and ongoing support and asked them to do a job they were not qualified to do. Now, in my opinion, it’s ok to hire your Friend if you are the manager of a grocery store, or a fast food restaurant because they need to make some extra cash part time.

However, it’s another thing to actually hire a Friend to take on great responsibilities and throw them to the wolves … meaning – allow them to work with ZERO supervision – alone all night and with sometimes very sick patients … usually ones they are not prepared for IF they have never been in a clinical role – people that could have cardiac arrest and die in their sleep are out there … this can and has happened. Marie, honestly, I know that NO ONE would want an UN-Skilled or UN-Registered Nurse to care a family member – right? Well, the same is true here.

B)
Now, one of the better things that has come to pass from this, is that we have the great guidance of the AASM, BRPT and others (JCAHO ) – wonderfully needed healthcare regulatory boards that have been busy creating guidelines on what is a minimum acceptable level of education, knowledge, skill and experience needed for someone to be eligible to practice & sit for their board registry, which is much like when a nurse goes to college, takes a registry exam and passes and gets her license.

Those in my profession all HAVE to be Registered … which is a good thing for the those of who already are experienced and Registered, and good for the patients and medical practice owners. NOW there is a sense of having to be more responsible and using more ethical behaviors – doing the right things, even when no one is watching!

Ok, you ask … what does this have to do with your video? Well, this gets really good, Marie. Well, I am getting to the words “Can’t and Won’t” :

Over 2 years ago, our regulatory boards decided that if, by Jan 2010 there were those still in our profession that were NOT working toward Board Registry, they would not be able to care for patients falling under Medicare & BC/BS guidelines. I have preached to all the Sleep Technologists to PLEASE keep studying and contact anyone you know who has passed this board registry to ASK them for assistance – AND to pay their dues so they can become eligible to take their exam!! I just loved it when you said that “you’re just being LAZY”!!! I actually laughed out loud when I heard this tonight because THAT is EXACTLY the case here.

Soon, all of those performing in the role of Sleep Technologist who are NOT registered (or even just certified) will no longer have a job! I am saddened by this situation and this is not good for our profession or the practices who are hoping for and counting on HR retention; it takes a minimum of 12 months for a newbie to really know what they are doing, so IF we lost this talent, our Businesses will really be in suffer in replacing these employees.

I have been encouraging some of the SAME people for years now, and they have always found SOME EXCUSE … something that gets in the way of doing all it takes to study, pass the education modules and pay for & take their exam! I know that life does take over -SOMETIMES. I am always SO surprised to hear that “they Can’t (meaning they most likely WON’T) find the money or the time to study” due to family obligations or the like. I even offered to PAY for testing for two of my best Technicians a few years ago, but they still have not and continue to just say they “CAN’T (or WON’T) find the time to find or make some alternatives to their current work and family obligations so they could have a few weeks to study and pass this very hard exam!”

And, on the other side of Can’t and Won’t, I must admit … I, too, had to re-arrange my life and re-take my exam because I didn’t allow for enough sleep in the few weeks prior for my first test, and my demanding position required over 60 hours per week from me. However, when I had the 2nd exam paid for, (just like you had the knowledge of that looming Mortgage payment) I found some reliable help to replace me at work, and did nothing but SLEEP – SLEEP – SLEEP to be ready for the testing challenges!

Working NIGHTS is hard enough, and when you work 2 jobs in one work week, you have very little time for the necessities in life. I really wanted to pass my first exam, BUT, you see, I fell asleep during the test … I was used to being awake during the 3rd shift and usually slept during the time I was taking the test! Also, I had not eaten, and I had a cold. So, I missed passing my first exam by only 3 points the first time around. NO EXCUSSES I thought – because I knew that IF I really wanted to pass, I would just have to change what I did by PREPARING … SEARCHING … TAKING ACTION on ALL of the OPTIONS that I placed on the right side of the ‘T’ to guarantee success and I passed!!!

I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR TAKING CHARGE OF THE SITUATION & NOW I TELL MY UN-REGISTERED CO-WORKERS THAT IF I CAN DO IT, THEY CAN, TOO … AND, JUST RECENTLY, TWO (2) OF THEM DID! HURRAY FOR THEM!

THANKS FOR THE GREAT LESSON & ALL YOUR SUPPORT IN A WORLD OF NAY-SAYERS AND NEGATIVE NELLIES, MARIE … YOU TRULY ARE AN INSPIRATION TO US ALL!

Best Regards,

Pamela Lopez, RPSGT

Reply

tohideh

It’s a few months that I’m doing the same thing you mention as ” Making The Decision First ” but I’d got a little lost in it and your video made me come back on track, THANKS MARIE!
a short story of what I did and the results I got from the universe that may encourage everyone who’s interested : six months ago I felt myself really lonely and I needed love. My perspective was that I’m not the type of girl anyone would even look at and I some kind of knew that I’d never have a good man.
so, I made the decision without being sure of anything to show up because it was the only thing I wanted. In the moment, nothing could make me happy but love. In an internal discussion with the universe, I said: “this is what I want, I don’t have any idea how to get it but you have to help me. Find a way, because I’m ready!”
action steps :
1) I thought I had to spend all my afternoons with my boyfriend so I didn’t work any more in the afternoons for opening space.
2) I entered a false name in my cellphone and I knew I had to get calls from this boy every day.
3) AND… I started buying sexy cloths I’d never wear before because I knew I’d start wearing them! (seems crazy but fantastic! ;-) )
RESULTS :
I got the attention of a great man I always dreamed of in 3 months. we see each other almost every after noon, I wear those sexy stuff a lot and we are thinking about marriage now!
I’m not exactly were I wished but the universe helped me believe that when you make the DECISION and take action, you don’t need to worry for the rest!
I’m gonna continue with your stuff Marie

p.s. I’m Iranian and nothing made me think I can’t go forward because of the situation of my country
Tohideh

Reply

Selma Nettles

A gold nugget in a nut shell! Thank you.

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Fredrik Wallinder

Hi Marie,
Nice video about taking a decision if anything is going to happen in your life. Being a male astronomer, I’ve some problems with the voodoo stuff in the beginning though. Think of our sun, do you think it cares what decision you make? Not really. In fact, if our planet suddenly vanished the universe would not care but continue to evolve. And the quantum mechanic stuff was not Einstein’s, it was Niels Bohr who said that you affect an experiment by being a part of it. Einstein was in fact against that idea. Anyhow, thanks for the nice video, keep up the good work.
.-= Fredrik Wallinder´s last blog ..How to track social media sites =-.

Reply

Kate

Hi, Marie! Your video was just what I needed to hear. I had that beginning quote up on my fridge for the longest time – maybe it needs to go up once again. I was dithering about whether to move to a distant city but not doing anything about it, which was putting my new job and my love life on hold. I have now decided that I want to stay where I am into the foreseeable future, so I can really put my ass behind forward progress in love and career in good old Chi-town! The difference between “Can’t” and “Won’t” was important to discuss – thank you! No more mealy-mouthed, poor me stuff. Either I really want to, so I will, or I don’t, so I will politely say so. YAY! Thanks!

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Zoe

Maria, Thanks so much for that. What a brilliant 22 mins. That felt hugely worthwhile and I love your non nonsense approach. I made lots of notes and will be making changes. Immediately!!!

My example of synchronicity is that I started a business back in 2003 and wanted to own my own holiday centre as part of that business but didn’t have the funds. On the journey of running the business (between 2005 & 2007)me & my business partner got offered 3 different opportunities from different people who’s paths crossed with ours to make that dream a reality. We chose not to take the opportunities which was a good decision each time – but had I not started on the journey those opportunities would NEVER have happened. I believe in synchronicity.

My sabotage is about I’m too scared to do x,y or z AND I don’t have enough money. I am going to take action today to review my financial situation and work out how I can get the money I need to take the next step on my new plan for my life. And to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Thanks again -Priceless tools & techniques

Zoe
x

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Paola

Thank you for a CLEAR and STRAIGTH TO THE POINT video.
I have been trying to put together a list of things that I want to do and then breakdown each thing to achieve in small goals. First – I have had trouble with what you called “radical honesty” and really searching within what I want. As a result the small goals and actions to get things accomplished has been such a tortuous unacomplished exercise for over more than a year.
From your video I got that I must know that once I decide and take action it will work- to decide I must be radically honest. Your T chart has a format that is appealing to me. I can see that “radical honesty” requires getting rid of a poor self image, lack of confidence and requires total focus on myself… Your video has motivated me so I decide to take the momentum and use the chart and put in practice your suggestions. I´ll come back with the results! Thank you

Reply

Farnoosh

Marie, I love your articulation of concepts, your clear speaking voice, and I hardly believe you are a bad speller! :)
The quote is inspirational, but you add in practical wisdom. Thank you for the main point – The decision comes first. I do believe in getting what I want, but inspiration ebbs and flows. The best part is the accountability for our own results – we take accountability for our success (and those failures which only lead to more successes). Playing a victim of a circumstance is only an excuse.

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Giulietta the Muse

Hi Marie,

Fantastic! Need I say more? You are fun and funny and not too woo woo. I relate to that!

I decided to save my town’s historic town hall from an already scheduled demolition. The new building design was done and paid for, demo scheduled, all in the works, our town leaders supporting it.

A lover of old buildings, I decided this wasn’t going to happen. I spoke to folks in person and got “we can’t stop it.” I wrote letters, I hooked up with a few other committed folks at first. I persevered and pretty soon we had a huge group.

It is saved, beautifully restored and the centerpiece of our downtown.

I know from that experience I CAN do anything I put my mind and decisions to.

I look forward to attending your next event in NYC!

Much thanks, Giulietta, Inspirational Rebel
.-= Giulietta the Muse´s last blog ..Three keys to success and happiness! =-.

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stephanie*

Marie,

this is just the piece I needed-thank you ;)

I’m looking forward to more of such great stuff!!! Because, you just gave me the answers, I needed IN THIS MOMENT. Hurray on you, the universe and life!!! :)

Big hug from Switzerland,

Stephanie.

NB. I’m using your tools just *NOW*

Reply

Annina

hello Marie
I took a decision 3 years ago to go back to university parttime and do a MSc. Rather unexpectedly I found a way to explain my decision to my parents, who offered to help me out finanically during my studies. Simultaneously I found a job for the 40% employment I needed, but not only this. Also with a fully understanding and totally supportive boss. Needless to say, that my colleagues are very helpful (eg. adjusting their vacation time to my university dead lines).

About your video teaching of today, I particularly like, that you stress taking action…. it won’t come from wanting, it comes from doing. I just realized, I need to really be aware of this fact.

Thanks

Reply

LaVondilyn J. Watson

Marie,
WOW! This is an awesome training (and much needed at this point in my life and business.) In the “can’t vs. won’t” segment, I felt like a sledgehammer struck me right in the heart. I am so full of excuses. I have everything I need right now for massive impact. EVERYTHING! The grace of God, excellent skills, rich content, great influence, a super coach, and the list continues… What I don’t have is the discipline to do the hard work. It KILLS me to even write that sentence! I work hard, but I don’t do the things necessary to achieve “next-level” results. Painful…

The good news is this: my “decision” was made a long time ago. Now what must follow is massive action! Thank you for this training. It’s so important to know where you are now before trying to get to where you’re going. I faced my truth today! THANK YOU!

Reply

Stacy

If I don’t have a very clear concise decision about something I get nowhere and more frustrated and stressed trying to figure out “why it didn’t work!” Your so right, when I look back on life, if I really want something LOOK OUT–because I will move mountains to get it. I think for me I am in a rut and have been feeling so lack luster in general about everything, or perhaps I have made excuses for so long that I can’t figure out what makes me excited any more and therefore the “I can’t” statements overflow in every direction possible. The thought of the words “I can’t” are BS and so dibilitating–what a crappy crutch I use and I am so tired of it. I am the only one standing in my way–not inability or lack of resources. Life is worth far more than letting it slip away that easily. Thanks Marie for giving me more truth for my life.

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Cris

Hi Marie-

So agree with the importance of deciding. I am currently getting divorced and made the decision to leave (4 yrs later than I should have) when I was the most broke. All I heard was how single moms are poor and blah, blah, blah. And I just made this decision of “fuck that!” I am not going to be “that” woman living in a dumpy apartment under the interstate. So, despite not having the resources in hand at the time to pull it off, I decided I was going to create a home I could be proud of, generate enough freelance work to support myself but still be able to be home with my daughter in the afternoons, and to tend to my health and wellness and have a great time in life still.

I have been in my new home for 2 1/2 months. It is ADORABLE. Aid from friends and family helped me furnish it in exactly my style. Freelance work has flowed in steadily. Not so much that I don’t have space to process the changes I’m going through, but enough to keep me afloat with a little extra (and I know when I decide I’m ready to ramp work up to the next level, it will). Though the actual dollars I’m bringing in don’t align, I somehow always have just a few extra dollars to go grab that cocktail with a friend to have fun. And when I decided I really wanted to stick with yoga, I worked out a trade deal with the studio owner. I decided my life was going to be BETTER for the decision I made. And it absolultely has been. And in the areas where I’ve decided but am still holding back, the Universe is also providing but still holding back. It is flowing in at the rate at which I’m ready to accept it.

Loved the “can’t” vs. “won’t” tip in this training though. It’s a great tool to add to my Get Fabulous process (also have “Be Here Now” on a post-it on my laptop right now as well).

Thanks for the great tips. Keep ‘em coming !

Reply

Marianne

Marie,
I just came across this video and it made me think about what you said in YOUR video…and, I thought you might get a kick out of it. :)

http://theconfidenceguyonline.com/2010/03/what-the-hell/

Marianne

Reply

sue

Hi Mary,

I’m a last year student from Holland and I first purchased your book ‘make every man want you’ because i didnt know how to meet guys. Now i love visiting your website everytime you pop some mail in my inbox. And i really enjoyed this training. An example from my relationships is that i’m very good at making a connection with people but i suck at maintaining this connection by saying ‘hello’ when passing by that person or just looking him or her into the eyes to start a conversation or just to say hello. Just a few weeks ago i’ve been eyeing this guy at school and after some time i messaged him that i would like to talk to him instead of just eyeing each other. But when i saw him i couldn’t/didnt want to say ‘hi’ so i passed by like a snob, which i’m not, but i could have given him that idea and now i’m constently battling with my mind to make a move and just say hi even if he isn’t interested in me. So what i want to say is that i’m going to start making a step by following your words. Thanks again!

Sorry if the english is a little bit crappy, because here it’s mostly dutch :)

XX Sue

Reply

Julie Millett

Hi, Marie. I really enjoyed the training video, and wanted to share with you a couple of immediate responses. First – the idea that one needs to take action on EVERY step on the right makes me a little itchy. I’m used to brainstorming in a non-self-editing way, to just get it down on the page to shake things loose. I can imagine tripping myself up on the flow of ideas if I know in advance I have to act on all of them – I might avoid putting down the “crazy” ideas. Hm. Thought-provoking.

Also, I am completely with you on the can’t/won’t distinction. “Can’t” is not allowed in my home – trying to help keep myself and my 10 yr old son in integrity and clarity about that. That said, sometimes the imagined road blocks can be sneaky. For example, if I’d love to participate in something, but the money is not already comfortably sitting in my account, some won’ts come up. I won’t go out and get another job because I don’t want to give up more time with my son, and my mind is linking the two. (Of course, I’m also imagining getting a job I hate — look at that! If I booked a lucrative voice-over gig, you’d better believe I’d work it all out in a flash.)

Interesting! So juicy how I’m catching the BS in my excuses as I write this! Love that.

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Pamela Cveticanin

I am a single mom, with two children,(4 and 10). I have owned my business, (Fish Wisdom Beads & Pamela Cveticanin Design Studios) for 8 years. I made a decision after my divorce, that I would become a juried member of the KGAC and the KAC marketing program. I also got elected to the board of directors of the KGAC after being a member for 2 ears.
You are so right about “can’t vs won’t, I have been doubting myself lately and I need to get back into the I CAN! mindset.
Thanks for the segment.
Pamela

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Andrea Sydow

Thank you Marie for sharing once more so generously your trainings. I loved it.
Commitment is a door opener, no question!
I trip over the “I can´t afford Maries training because my debts are to high”. Well that is true in a way and it is even more honest for me to say that at the moment, paying my debts is more important than taking the training… Would love to acomplish both… ;-) Well I will use your list to work that out. Thank you!
Best regards from Berlin
.-= Andrea Sydow´s last blog ..Relato sobre el taller de Perdón Radical en Madrid por Emma García =-.

Reply

Bob Donohue

Hi Marie,
I can attest to the decision coming first, because that’s always how it works with me. The times in my life/career when things weren’t the best were when I was sifting through data trying to make a decision. When I’m unsure of what I want, I get a lot of contrast – some good, some bad. I never know which, why, or when. But as soon as I make a decision, that’s it. I become focused on it and almost immediately see the results start coming to me.

Here’s the most recent real life example. My genius wife Laura and I have been talking about buying a particular house for quite some time. We used a lot of excuses why we can’t do it just yet (money, credit, whatever). It’s not the money. We used these excuses to keep ourselves away from the very thing we want because it would be uncomfortable to do some of the things in our “How We Can” list.

Well, a couple weeks ago we said enough of that, and made the decision right then and there that we will be buying this house this year, and celebrate our daughter’s late August birthday in that house. Decision made. We no longer give any credence to why we can’t, but talk every morning and evening together about how we can.

Not to knock the contrast though, it’s an essential element. Those times when you’re sifting through it you can look forward to knowing that a decision will come out of it. And it will be stronger because of the time you spent in the contrast.

In those couple short weeks since making this decision, I have seen a turn around in my business. When I was wishy washy, my business reflected that. Making this decision gave me better focus and determination, and new work appeared out of nowhere. Then, my uncle contacted my sister and me to inform us we are inheriting money from our grandfather’s estate. Unbelievable.

Money and time are never the reason, they’re just the easy scapegoats. I still don’t know exactly *how* we will be doing this, but I do know we will. Nice video, Marie.

Best,
Bob
.-= Bob Donohue´s last blog ..5 Steps to Personal Economic Recovery =-.

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Amber

Over and over I have found this to be true! It is really amazing how when I jump in to a project or endeavor with everything I have, it all seems to come together so well. When I wanted to be a makeup artist, I DECIDED to go to school, and then approach everyone I knew to further my business. Within 6 months, and while I was still attending school, I started working on films, theatre, and fashion shoots. It was amazing. I have since moved on, to getting my engineering degree, and have found the same to be true. Internships with high profile companies, and connections that I could only dream of have fallen in my lap. Now, here’s the problem to all of this. How do I keep all that energy going? I find that I get all these things, become overwhelmed and tired, and then begin to slack off. That is where I am now. I feel something inside that says “just do it!!!! JUMP” but I don’t know what I am striving for now. It is just like, “okay another day…oh boy.”
So yes it is true, and so beautiful, but what about the follow through? How do I keep my attention focused?

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Catherine Collins

Marie!!!!
AMAAAZING, per usual.

I ADORE this “T” exercise. Works like magic every time.

In the past six months, I have seen, more than ever, that you CAN actually have anything you want once you commit.

Before I met you, I was ALWAYS using “lack of money” as a reason for not doing something. Truth is, more often than not, I wasn’t willing to bust my ass to actually get what I wanted. Another way to look at it: I really did want it that bad.

When you REALLY want something you will go to hell and back to get it.

Here are some examples from my own life:

1. RHH Live Event. When you first put out the sales page for your first live event I felt this rush of OMG, I HAVE to be there. Mind you, I was pretty deep in debt, and my mind was immediately “rationalising” all the reason I “couldn’t” afford to spend $1,000 on a weekend, plus airfare. Thanks to my work with you, I ignored that voice, and kept plugging away until I found a way to come up with the money and be there.

2. Participation in RHH Mastery this year. The RHH Live Event was truly life changing for me. When Roeder, Arti, Alisa and Linda shared their experiences from participating in last year’s program, I felt a similar rush of OMG, I HAVE to do this program. Mind you, again, I had no idea how the hell I would make 17 grande work. It was barely a year ago that I was stressing out about $200/a month payments. But, again, I ignored that voice, filled out the application, and trusted that you wouldn’t accept me into the program if you didn’t believe I could make that financial commitment.

I don’t think it’s any small coincidence that last month was my most profitable month yet. Knowing I have a $1000/a month commitment to you has forced me to put myself out there and play BIG and full out in a way I NEVER would have otherwise.

So, THANK YOU. You are too amazing for words and I love you to bits.

xox
Catherine
.-= Catherine Collins´s last blog ..For the Love of Sandy =-.

Reply

Monica

It almost worked

Reply

Matt Freeman

Marie,
I was turned on to you by a close friend Marguerite Crespillo and she said that I would not be disappointed. Thank you so much for that training. Without great detail I have spent most of my life making decisions and going after whatever it was. The result always happened. The first major one was going to an out of state college and being the first in the family to graduate. The second was leaving an area I grew up in and was having great success to move my family to an unknown to build a branch of my company. It was successful and then the market collapsed. I chose a new direction and went after it again and rebuilt. Then the divorce and the decision to move back and be with my kids. I did not know how and where I would live work etc. It has been ok. Things did fall in place after the decision to come back. Then I started to have a pity party. Then your video. My step father used to say all the time “cant” means you are not willing to try hard enough. Tomorrow I have a mini interview to take a second job so I can get back on my feet. My goal is to coach and train young adults pre and post college about the decisions they make for college major choices and career choices and to make sure those choices are led by them and not those surrounding them. To empower them to reach for their dreams before they get caught in the rat race of others dreams. I will do that and I am starting today to work towards that. I appreciate you and your words. Money has been something I have used as an obstacle. Again I have found that when I am “real” with someone a path opens up. Thank nyou for following your dreams as they are encouragement for others like myself to follow mine.

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Cheryl

Lovely Marie,

What a fab video. I definitely needed to hear this today. One of the things that resonated the most was the idea that it’s not enough just to write your ‘T list’ you actually have to act on it. This is always where I get stuck! The only thing that still confuses me is how this works when what you want is dependent on another person – ie the classic example of wanting someone (a guy perchance) to be interested in you! I guess you can’t make the decision for them, but you just have to put yourself in the right frame of mind to get them?!

Thanks as ever,

Cheryl

Reply

Christine

Hi Marie! That was really a fantastic message and video and I needed to hear it :)

I have had this work in my life as well. I work in a primarilly “male dominated” industry. When I started in my current position (8 years ago tomorrow) I had very little confidence that I would succeed. I am a salesperson and technical knowledge of the product we sell is very important, our customer’s rely on our product knowledge. I can clearly remember customer’s taking one look at me ( a very feminine female) and thinking..”oh, what could she possibly know about this stuff”. Many of them wouldn’t come near me, it was almost comical. One day, I became sooo angry that I stood in front of a bunch of them and said, “Someday, you will all be begging for me to help you!”

Guess what? Today, I am the top salesperson where I work and the number one “go to” person. I made it a point to get every bit of information I could, every training and certification that I could. Today, many of them have also become friends. But, I made THATdecision, THAT day, at THAT moment in front of an audience. That was my “turning point” so to say.

The points you made about “can’t” and “won’t”…SO true!

Thank you for the inspiration and thank you for sharing your knowledge with the rest of us.

Christine

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Tanessa

Hello Marie,

Thank you for the training. I have been a disillusioned writer and teacher for years! Yesterday on a very long drive, my husband and I realized that I should take my gift of interpreting dreams more seriously. It is something I have done for free–for family, friends and strangers–for most of my life. It’s so easy and fun, I never considered doing it for a living. However, I realized that teaching people to find the wisdom of their dreams could be a powerful expression of my gifts and talents. I don’t know anyone who has followed such a path, so my “why I can’t” column has always been full of excuses. Now, I have some awesome steps to take to launch the biz of my dreams!
.-= Tanessa´s last blog ..How to remember dreams =-.

Reply

laura

Hi Marie,
Great video, thank you! Here is my example about the decision coming first – in mid 2008 I was very unhappy in my job and thought about opening my own business. I started looking at lease space and made a list of what it would cost to do this. My initial figure was $60k/mo for overhead which made it seemingly impossible so I decided to stay put. 2 months later I was fired from the company. I had many employment opportunities but (really) decided I’d rather go out on my own. I began by officing out of my house (almost no additional overhead) 16 months later I have a successful company with a stunning office and revenues well in excess of the $60k/mo I thought was unattainable. The universe was all there for me!!
My “lack of” excuse comes in the category of relationships and self esteem. I keep saying I can’t be confident in myself and a relationship because of my mother – the usual verbal abuse, aggressiveness and manipulation and the constant ringing in my ears about what a horrible and unworthy person I am. So I am constantly scared that my boyfriend will dump me or my friends won’t like me, etc. and I blame this on my mom. After your video I am re-thinking this and will make my “T” list on that now!
Thanks again, I really enjoyed this exercise!

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Roxana_the_Aviddiva

I agree with you to a point. I am working on doing what I really want with my life. It has not being easy. I am not using the word can’t. I will tell you that some things are not as easy to get. To give you a small example, I moved to Florida seven months ago. I still don’t have a car. Do I want one? Yes. Ironically in this side of the state, mass transportation is apparently not important. I am stuck in “you need a job to qualify for a car, you need a car to qualify for a job”. So, cool, no problem. I will start my own business. In the meantime, I will sell the stuff I left in Puerto Rico through the internet to get the money to get the car and the business licence. In seven months, I have been able to sell less than $500. My husband is the only one with a job and his paycheck covers the mortgage in Puerto Rico and the apartment here (he is still in Puerto Rico). The money we had set for this adventure ran out and I find myself listing 13 items to sell on FB Marketplace and everywhere else I can (for free) so that I can see the light. I start working a temp job on Tuesday. Again, it is not that I can’t do it. All the ideas that I came up with have not worked the way I want. I did talk to a couple of friends also. They want me to rework the business plan, which I am working on also. To say the least, I am getting frustrated. Loan was not approved. I am running out of ideas and I still don’t see the money to get what I want. What am I doing wrong?
.-= Roxana_the_Aviddiva´s last blog .. =-.

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Laura

Hi, Marie!

Lovely video and great message. AND, btw, I am incorporating ALL of your fab suggestions and will launch a new e-commerce blog in the next few days….thanks to a connection I made here!!!

You’re right about making things happen when you commit. My two cents, for people like Roxana who’s experiencing frustration, is to let go for a while (temporarily!) and put your focus on something else. That ALWAYS works for me and then the ball starts rolling in an unexpected way and I do find what I need or want.
.-= Laura´s last blog ..29 Things I Learned About Creating Wealth =-.

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Joey I

Hi Marie,

Great video! My story is I work for a JOB which I’m very grateful for having, but I just don’t see this is my ultimate passion. I am young, only 28, and have been at this company for almost 9 years. The money has been great, but again this is not my ultimate purpose in life. Lately I have been doing a lot of self evaluation and basically have been surrounding myself with coaches such as yourself and some others and reading a ton of books by like-minded people. I just realized that my “T” has already been created! Sometimes people don’t always know what their passion is, but they just feel in their gut that they want to do something better, more fulfilling, more rewarding… Which is where I was at. I started getting involved with Dog training since dogs have taught me to live in the moment and I could help people through their dogs… However, something still isn’t settling completely. So I continue to read and read and listen to as much as I can. This is the right side of my T. Dog training, books, audio’s seminars, trying different business ventures… All seems maybe all over the place, but to me it’s action. It’s action that have all taught me something and is bringing me closer to my ultimate purpose in life.

The old me would just complain about going to work. And gossip, and judge and anything else negative, but I had enough and I guess I subconsciously created a “T” to help lead me in the right direction of wherever it is I end up doing. I just know I’m super passionate about talking to people and trying to get them to realize their goals. Who knows if some type of coaching will be for me, but I do know that for everyone out there, your decision can simply be to do something different then what you’re doing. You don’t have to decide to quit work and open a business. just decide to change whatever it is that brings you down. And on the right side of your “T” write down things that will make you happier or grow as a person… For me it’s education. And a lot of it. You don’t learn this stuff in school and it is up to us to learn a specialty knowledge for whatever it is you ultimately want in life. I heard a quote last night that I want to share… “Never go to bed the same person you were when you woke up”. Meaning, simply just learn something different and positive every day. Grow a little bit more every day… I know you don’t like to talk about the Universe and Law of attraction, but it is absolutely 100% true that if you read and surround yourself with nothing but positivity instead of watch TV and gossiping with your friends, you will without a shadow of a doubt attract more positivity. You can disagree if you want, but what’s the worst that can happen if you just try? In my opinion being positive takes your thinking away from money. When you’re always wanting more money you get what you ask for…Always wanting more money. When you become more positive and focus on just being a better person for yourself the money will come. It has to… Anyway, I wish you all nothing but success and together we can ALL achieve anything we want! Peace and Love… Joey I

Reply

Rose Goddess

I love your distinction between can’t and won’t and your techniques to completely eliminate cant from your thoughts and vocabulary. Great video!
.-= Rose Goddess´s last blog ..Symbol of our Times: My Ode to Avatar =-.

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Jennifer Rohner

Wonderful as always, Marie!

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Melody

Decided to start my organizing business in 2003. Done! with no idea of how to start a business, market it, or attract clients.

Decided to buy a car during poor “economic” conditions. Done! with no idea if my business would continue to successfully support me.

Decided to fly myself to a couple different conferences across the US. Done! with no experience of flying, literally not knowing anyone at the event, and leaving the babysitting issues in the hands of my husband.
.-= Melody´s last blog ..Client Success Stories =-.

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Anne

Ok…so I watched the video when you first posted it and thought…ok I don’t know if I have any personal proof of the decision comes first. I’ve definitely always been the type of person who mulls and mulls and MULLS as if there’s some way I’ll be able to tell the future. What has usually happened is the opportunity passes and then I’m onto mulling about something else.

But then…today. I made the decision and started working on a project that I’ve been putting off. I looked at a simple group of people who keep emailing me with questions and decided…wait, I have answers. The moment I made the decision to move forward, do some real work, and commit to seeing it through, the most amazing things started happening. Several emails and calls came in thanking me for what I provided in a short video series on youtube. These videos are the basis for Project X! I wouldn’t have believed this decision first business had it not just happened to me today. 4 different “confirmations” came in via email, phone, and seeing someone in person.

Marie you rock. Thanks for making this video. I needed the reminder and in a way it was yet another confirmation for me.
.-= Anne´s last blog ..How to keep MOVING even when you feel like GIVING UP =-.

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Justyna

I love it. Gave me lots of clarity. Can’t wait for Virtual to start next week.

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Jenny Gilroy

Excellent video Marie! I have been aware about the can’t/ won’t distinction in the past (much like should/ could) but it does take consistent awareness to keep the distinction clear. The ‘decision comes first’ philosophy is so valuable and true! Behind that decision is 100% trust and faith and combined with action, they are powerful tools for positive manifestation :) I also agree that we need to be open about exactly how they manifest – if we knew all the exact steps to take we would have done it already…if we wanted to! It is so exciting to take some time to sit down and do an activity like your ‘T list’ and forget about all the negative crap that may prevent us from even starting to take action. I won’t be doing my T list/s tonight (getting tired!), but I WILL enjoy doing them soon :P

Reply

Tiu

HI Marie,

Its a great video. I am actually in a situation where i have to decide regarding my capability of doing something (applying for a PHD program). I know i don´t fulfill some requirements but i really want the program. So now the question is if i should apply or not. If i apply , i need to do a lot of reading. Which means investing a great deal of time on it. So i am worried if i might waste my time on something very unprobable.

Bythe way i am super fan of yourself. I havebeen recieving your letters through my email and enjoying them 100% of the time. Please keep up being inspirational.

Tiu

Reply

stephanie*

Dear Marie,

I can’t wait to be in your program-it takes a bit longer as I expected it-but it will.

There were important times in my life, when I took decisions from my heart and they just went smooth-like I was brought there by an imaginary hand:

*When I decided, that I wanted to be a professional classical singer. I failed for two entry exams, but they were indeed the preparation for the third were, already when I arrived in the far-away city, I felt welcome and *at home*. It all worked out well, hands around who would help me. A room to live for the first year, without even having to search for it, but a woman came to me and ASKED, if I needed a room… :)

*When I searched for an appartment, I wrote a list, more like a game for myself to know what I want, but also for the universe. One day, I was in school very early and the first to see an anouncement for an appartment. I got it-and all wishes on the list were fulfilled, it was even greater :)

At the moment, it is not always so smooth as then, but I know it is possible, somewhere deep in my heart-one of the reasons why I’m so much looking forward to work with you and together with other women.

Speaking of RHH, how great is it, that you support these cooperations, which help other women in the world! This is truly a reason, why I feel it even more as a treat for myself to join! (There is a fabulous book, I just read: The Soul of Money, from Lynn Twist. It fits so well!)

As I said, I can’t wait till the bank transfer will be done and I’m in. For now, patience and relax :) :) :)

Big hug,

Stephanie.

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Amber McCue

Yes, yes, yes! Just took a moment to celebrate how the universe has recently bended for me!! Love this. Had to tell you now and have to come back to read all of the great comments above and celebrate in spirit for everyone.
.-= Amber McCue´s last blog ..Celebrate!!! I Made A Decision. And Allll Sorts of Goodness Has Followed! =-.

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Sue

Great post! Here is my example of a decision coming first then the universe working its magic…

One day in college I DECIDED I wanted to get paid to study and collect lichens in pristine high alpine remote regions of the Sierra Nevada. I could visualize it, feel it. But, I made the decision and then forgot about it. I graduated college, focused on things other than lichens, time passed and I moved to Canada, then got a job back in California at Yosemite National Park.

My dream of working with lichens was still floating around the universe. Years after making the decision I found myself working in Yosemite, creating a scientific study to inventory lichens in the park, and writing a grant to fund my new position. I created my dream! And just as you said, the universe was wishy-washy with results until I got serious and took action on the right steps to reach my goal.

Being Clear on what you want & 100% Commitment is key to reaching your goals! Thanks for that post girlie!
.-= Sue´s last blog ..Cacao Superfood Breakfast Smoothie Enlivens 86 year old =-.

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Mark Silver

First of all, I just want to applaud you putting so much clarity and energy into your message. It’s inspirational to me to see how to bring video messages to light, because I’ve been really slow to get to it. :)

I’m a big believe in self-agency. I’m also a big believer in understanding the larger forces at work. I recommend, if you haven’t read it, the work of Bert Hellinger on System Constellations. The book Love’s Hidden Symmetry is really an amazing insight into how larger family and organizational systems can undermine self-agency in extremely frustrating ways.

I won’t dive into the whole surrender/Divine thing here. But I am concerned about how folks that may be caught in larger energy systems might respond to the message you are bringing.

I am very much with you on the topic of clarity of intention- and in doing spiritual healing work with thousands of people, I’m clear that self-agency and making a decision is not 100% of the story.

For instance- the “can’t” vs “won’t” issue is a profound one. In many cases what you describe is, in my experience, 100% right on. And there are times when “can’t” is actually the more true thing. I’ve seen people who have honestly put a tremendous amount of effort into making decisions and working hard towards goals, only to be curiously frustrated by their inability to make forward movement…

Let me end with an analogy: if you are swimming in the ocean, as you may be familiar with off Long Island, you can swim as hard as you can. You may be an olympic swimmer and make great progress. And, when the tide changes direction, you are not stronger than the tide. You can affect your movement within the tide- but you may not be able to reach your goal if the tide, or a storm, catches you out.

I’m really into supporting people into taking responsibility and moving forward. And there is a huge piece of compassion and mercy missing when awareness of these other forces is not taken into account.

Curious about how this lands with you.
.-= Mark Silver´s last blog ..The Nitty Gritty Heart: Matthew Ray Scott =-.

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Lisa Wilder

Hey Mark…

Thanks so much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and thought-provoking comment.

I can’t speak for Marie, but since she’s out of town at the moment I wanted to jump in to clarify….(this video was a shortened version of a program call that she and I developed the content for)…

There are always exceptions. You’re absolutely right…There are times when “can’t” is accurate, however most of the time (emphasis on most ;) ) we use it as an easy out rather than really looking at the truth of the situation. In those instances it’s much more empowering to recognize our ability to make conscious choices than to take a victim stance out of habit with “I can’t.”

Are there forces in the world beyond our control which affect us? You bet. And there are certain situations in which simply deciding you’re going to do something may not work.

This is especially true if the focus of the end result you’re going for is someone else…we cannot and should not…attempt to control or manipulate others. For example if the end result you’re going after is to have a particular person fall in love with you, or to have a particular person do or behave in some way you’d prefer…the steps in the video aren’t going to be applicable.

It may also be true of certain health issues. For example, I can’t simply will away some of the chronic health issues I’ve had over the last ten years or so. On the flip side…I’m self-aware enough to recognize that there are positive pro-active steps I could be taking that “might” resolve or at least improve them, that ironically I’m not taking. I could be eating better, exercising more, etc. It doesn’t serve me to not recognize that there’s more I could be doing.

Personal responsibility and recognizing our role in creating our circumstances through taking positive pro-active steps to go after what you want in life, isn’t about blame, and it’s not meant to provide our minds with one more thing to beat ourselves up over. ; )

It’s about empowering people to become more aware of their ability to have an impact on their lives so that, at a minimum, they’re able to make CONSCIOUS choices, rather than operating out of fear or habit.

It’s meant to encourage people to take a closer look at whether assumptions they’ve made, like “I can’t,” are really accurate, and to encourage them to take a good look at whether they’ve really gone after something in earnest or gave it only a half-hearted attempt.

I’m curious, Mark, where you see a lack of compassion and mercy in that? Love to hear more!

Warmly,
Lisa
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Mark Silver

Absolutely- I think we may be on the same page here- thanks for taking the time with it. I think there can be a perceived lack of compassion and mercy if someone is in a situation that is a “can’t” situation, and the messages and teachings they receive are about “won’t” without giving them any resources or support for how to assess if they are in a “can’t” situation.

I don’t think it’s just in health situations. I experience any goals I move towards as also existing in a larger framework and context, and are affected by lots of things outside my control. Making a decision is an important part of the process- and to let go of what the outcome might be, because one never knows what’s truly unfolding on our path.

Here’s a great example- I had a client who years before I worked with her had made really clear decisions and was working hard doing all the rights things towards big success in the music industry- and was on the verge on the verge on the verge and never breaking through.

When we did a healing session on it years later, she saw in her heart that she had been *protected* from success, because at the time (she was in her early 20′s) she didn’t have the personal and spiritual resources to handle the success she was reaching towards- it would have had potentially disastrous effects on her (you can guess what those might’ve been, the music scene being what it is).

I just have a caring for people, as I know you all do, so bringing in this holistic perspective of goal-setting, decisions, and personal agency in a larger context of the unknown mystery of life just can bring tremendous relief to people who have been making decisions and still struggling.

I know you care. I know you have compassion- it’s evident in Marie’s voice and presentation of her self. My heart was just moved to bring this perspective in.
.-= Mark Silver´s last blog ..The Nitty Gritty Heart: Matthew Ray Scott =-.

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Lisa Wilder

We are on the same page, Mark, for sure.

Marie and I went more in-depth into these subjects in the original program call but for brevity’s sake here on the blog…shortened it to pack as much punch as possible.

We (I think I can safely speak for Marie in this instance ;) ) have the utmost compassion for anyone going through a very difficult challenge that is genuinely outside their control.

It’s that very compassion that prompts us to help people (even in those more challenging situations) to take an empowered stance and whatever pro-active steps they can to improve the situation even if only in some small measure.

The health example was just one…of course there are myriad possible scenarios where “can’t” might be more accurate. Even in those instances, I think it’s immensely more helpful to take an empowered, pro-active perspective than to hold onto a victim’s perspective. Feeling like a victim to life never feels good and is never, imho, beneficial.

By the way, Mark…thanks for the book recommendation. I’ll have to check out.

Warmly,
Lisa
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Katharina Böcker

It’s also a good exercise to find out that very often I actually don’t want something as much as I think I do. For example if I really wanted to lose 10 pounds you’d think I would eat less, but I don’t, so it seems to me I’m more interested in keeping them than losing them. So it’s interesting to find out whether there are other ways to get whatever it is I’m getting from these 10 pounds. Or what it is I’m afraid would happend once I lose the 10 pounds – have the boyfriend – get the job – make the money etc. Or even what it is I get out of complaining that I don’t have what I “want”.

In putting the emphasis on the decision and the empowering “won’t” I learn a lot about myself and what I REALLY want instead of what I think I should want. I especially liked your example that not everyone wants a 5 Million Dollar home, most people think they want one, but when they realise it actually takes hard work to get and to maintain it it’s much easier to dream about it.

And on a reverse angle when you realise that you have to put effort and work into realising your dreams, you might be more content with what you have already.

Thanks for that!
Katharina

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Mark Silver

I’m definitely with you on the “victim” thing. Thanks for engaging with me on this topic, and I get why you would make the choice you did on this video.

I’m looking forward to getting to know you all better. I have gratitude for the work you are doing.
.-= Mark Silver´s last blog ..The Nitty Gritty Heart: Matthew Ray Scott =-.

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Mary Kiningham

A wonderful 20 minutes…a lot to think about and act on. Kate Northrup sent me to your site. Thanks Kate and Marie!
Mary

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Barbara Fedors

Dear Marie,

I am so glad I listened to your inspirational movie.
It occurred to me that even considering doing your exercise brought up the can’t and won’t game.
I came up with there are so many things I could be doing, I better just finish breakfast and quit getting side tracked, and so forth.
I got to see how pervasive this game is in my life.
So, I did the exercise. The first action step is to email you to thank you!

Much Appreciated, Barbara

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Janet Cook

Hi Marie!

This is SOOOOO timely for me right now. I’m a MEGA-manifestor and have been challenged with getting what I say I REALLY want in my life. Right now it is going 3-Star Golden Circle, Crystal Executive in my company. I’ve heard the can’t/won’t theory before, and your training today really helped me get completely clear on how I WILL get what I say I really want.

You are so right about the decision coming first – I decided I wanted to go back to school first to become a certified holistic health counselor & personal trainer. I didn’t have the means but BAM! The opportunity for me to pay for both schools showed up.
Now I have both of these under my belt, I am going 100% after what I want now in my life.

This past week I made the declaration to my team that I WILL BE a 3-Star Golden Circle, Crystal Executive by August 15th, 2010 at 11:59PM. So a HUGE THANK YOU for your video to just re-commit the fact I have made the RIGHT decision for me.

I KNOW I CAN DO THIS!

I look forward to getting to know you more and about your program.

Janet Cook, CHHC, CPT
Janet Cook Health Counseling, NYC

Reply

Leisha

Hello Marie,

The first time I really decided to loss weight. I am a christian and my weight is not what it should be for my height. As Christians we learn God wants the best for you and you can do anything with his help. So I was very frustrated with dealing were to excerise, what to eat and how much water to drink. I took a stand and said Lord if you really want me to loose weight show me what to do. Ok, it was time for my physical with my doctor. We got into a discussion about the aerobic workout and he told me its when you can walk a mile in twenty minutes, I thought ok, now what do I eat. I went to the store and found Richard Simmoms weight lose plan where you carried around these books that told you what every fast food place item was in calories and how to include them in your meals if you wanted to. It also included a booklet where you shut windows once you ate the amount of food in that day for the amount of calories you wanted to eat. Next for me was to find a place to exercise. I forget how I
heard of this church having an exercise room with four treadmills. one eliptical and weights, but it was free so I started going their three or four times a week. The weight began to melt and I felt great for severl years.
So how can this lesson to help me know? I am using this lesson in several areas in my life. One, to move forward in my business goals for each month and other ideas I have of what I want to accomplish. I am going to be very honest with myself so I can move forward in the things I want to do or don’t want to do. I am excited and enjoyed this training. It is bringing light into my way of thinking. I am generaly a positive person. Seeing and making myself be honest with myself is going to help me move toward my financial and personal goals.

Reply

Lisa Wilder

Hey Janet!

You go, girl! Something tells me you’ll hit the mark you’ve set for yourself ahead of schedule. ;)

For more information about the Rich, Happy & Hot Virtual Mastery pop on over to:

http://www.marieforleo.com/go/virtual

Warmly,
Liisa
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Ali Cramer

Great lesson, love your attitude, Rock on! Jai Ma! Truth be told, keep speaking…

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Christina Cote

i had an injury…had to quit my practice (as i was bedridden and on waaay too many drugs). i made the decision to recreate it, but, in a way that fits my new life and belief systems, with what my body can handle now (with the all day back pain).

so, i started my facebook fanpage… http://www.facebook.com/natureheals it is a launching pad. i have been getting signs from the universe to start a blog. i do tarot too, and it is telling me to get more creative. i feel comfortable starting a blog now… pretty soon, i know i will be “seeing” clients again and making money : )

i also decided recently that i want to write a book…. the facebook posts and tips, along with the soon to be blog posts, will soon be my book. i don’t know exactly what the business or book “mission statement” will be, yet, but, it seems the universe is just telling me to start writing, “NOW!!!” (OR THE BOOK AND BIZ, will never happen : )

i also know that to be successful, i have to work on my health…the universe is flooding me with healing tools and techniques, some of which i have even made up!!! it is like once i decided to heal, i became a channel for every way possible to heal : ) and, i wanted to lose weight…which meant getting off of “the fat drug,” Lyrica (for my back). i got off of Lyrica and when the pain came back…i got my butt on the healing train.

i am now skinnier, happier, feeling more creative, more joy, and success on the horizon!!! and, it all came with making a few simple decisions, to commit!!! i even just found an exercise buddy, yesterday : ) the universe never stops giving!!! it is amazing!!! all of your tips are so right on and are going to keep me on track : )

THANK YOU!!!!
christina cote
http://www.facebook.com/natureheals

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Maryellen Smith

Hi Marie,

Fabulous video, employing all the key elements in good instructional design (whether you realize that or not).

I especially love the clarity on “can’t” and “won’t.” I’ve worked very diligently to remove “try” from my vocabulary because it indicates an assumption of failure. I replaced “try” with “I’m willing to…” or “I will do my best…” It makes a dramatic difference in the outcome of a situation.

Regarding an example of a situation in my life where I made a decision in advance about an outcome: I was married for a long time and never expected to get divorced. When my husband ended the marriage, I decided that I would not spend years “figuring out” what I already knew; that I was a strong woman who could thrive on my own no matter what. Regardless of the fact that other people saw me as a victim, based on my circumstances, I chose not to act like a victim. Ultimately, people around me responded with the respect and dignity that I deserved.

Another example is when I got laid off my job last year…I realized that when I said I got laid off, people responded emotionally and negatively. I felt it was a great opportunity to reinvent myself, hence the name of my business is Reinvention Queen. When people asked me how I was, instead of saying, “I got laid off” I started saying: “I’m great, I have a lot of new opportunities in front of me.” Saying that helped propel me forward to new and better things. The irony was that when I said I got laid off people projected their own circumstances onto me. I had money in the bank, I could pay my bills, I wasn’t worried. I chose not to buy into their fear.

Thanks for spreading your practical spirituality Marie! I genuinely appreciate your efforts to help people achieve the life of their dreams.

Maryellen Smith

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Rita

Hi Marie!

You are UH-MAZING! I just wanted to say that these 22 minutes changed my whole perspective to my whole life. I have to say I’m a med student and my life goes through ups and downs constantly. If something didn’t work out I always blamed it on the circumstances and never really realized that it was mostly my responsibility and my attitude to whatever task I had. Also I usually make decisions and set goals but as you said I become all wishy-washy about them and then I wonder why is it that it doesn’t work out! :-) OF COURSE! haha! So THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing your amazing tips I can’t wait to apply them in my life!

Best regards
Rita (all the way from Prague!)

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Kaneisha

I use the can’t vs. won’t in my journey to be a self-help writer, talk show hostess, and filmmaker. I’ve been reinvigorated to keep pursuing my dreams–and to make the decision first with the confidence that I have the power to make them come true. Thanks for a great video!
.-= Kaneisha´s last blog ..Guest Post: Swarm =-.

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Christine Laborie

Hey Marie,

This was really, really good and I found it so true. Love that you gave tools to create an idea tree and creating actual action steps.

Truth is about can’t is that is just isn’t true….I’ve found it in my life….I choose and if I just don’t wanna do something I don’t….but it has nothing to do with I can’t. Cause baby…we can all do anything we want!!

Thanks so much for this…looking forward to learning more about Virtual Mastery…..!!!

Much respect!
Christine :))

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Lauren Schweinsberg

I really loved this training! I thought at first, how can I possibly get anything I want??? Now I know! But seriously, I watched this about a week ago, and since then I find myself thinking back to it all the time. What is strange is that I always sort of had this same philosophy. I had just never had it drawn out for me like that before. So, thanks! Keep all the good tips coming! I love recieving them!
.-= Lauren Schweinsberg´s last blog ..Do you really need to spend money to make money? =-.

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Anithaa Nagaraja

Hi Marie,

I loved the training. Brief, crisp and engaging !! I am a 22 year old from Bangalore, India. I have been working with a company called Accenture in Bangalore. It has been 2 years since i passed out of college. I have been putting off so many things in my life. They include losing weight, becoming focussed, good leadership skills, being confident and comfortable in my own skin thinking that I am not worth anything. I have slowly been able to start thinking about me and becoming honest with myself. There still are times when I am not and I try and blame others for all my circumstances. It was probably my childhood experiences that have caused me to become this person. However, I take charge for being the best version of me. I want to know as to how I can increase my self esteem, confidence and focus in life even more and get what I want. I think there are so many things that I need to work on in my life. I have a really hard time prioritising my life. Please could you help me. I have still not been able to make the decisions that are really important. ……………………….. Thanks a ton for the training again……. Love you…

Anithaa

Reply

Nannet

Hi Marie, from Nannet in the Netherlands. Thank you for the very inspiring video.
It works for me!
My father died in 2006 and my mother decided (MADE THE DECISION) to hand my sister and me a part of our heritagemoney. I was on a intuitive development course at that time and during a meditation my OWN four letter word came flashing in neon: GUTS! GUTS! GUTS!
So I decided to use my guts and my dad’s money to publish my own book on weightloss and an inclusive Pilatesvideo (which you can now view for free on http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=nannetsnowforreal&aq=f) That decision opened all sort of doors for me. 3 years later, I am working on my fourth book, hold workshops and retreats in Holland and Spain and am expanding evermore. I went to Walden pond and found Henry David Thoreau’s words: Simplify! Simplify! which I applied to my life and threw out all clutter, mentally, physically and literally. if you want to know more about how I show my clients and followers a way to get a lighter mind, body and Life I would love to hear from YOU too. Thank you, Marie, I consider you a friend and inspirator. i think you are doing great. i wish you all the best for a VERY long time. XXX

Reply

mada

Hi Marie,

You are absolutely right with everything that you said in the above training. I must confess, when I was younger, 22, 23, i had big dreams and a lot of optimism and positivism, and sky was indeed the limit.
I was dreaming about owning a house and I was raising money from my salary cause I wanted to buy something important with it. So in about 4 years it became true. I even almost have forgotten about the dream to buy a house, the boom in the real estate was at it’s peak, but despite that I bought an apartment that I proudly call my home.
So yes, my parents helped with money – they evened the amount of money that I gathered, my boyfriend helped with the work around the house, my colleagues at work being very supportive, my job, since I was working in flexible hours. Everything came to an perfect place in my universe. This is why there is a saying, be careful what you wish for :)

I do have a question, actually another topic … since that was my very early milestone, I found myself in a situation in which I don’t seem to know what I want next … how about that? What comes next? I only have traveling on my list and it seems … pointless without a greater scope … I feel like that was a real milestone and what i’m doing now it’s not that challenging.

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Senad

Nice post man, i like the way you tell it straight, keep up the good work.

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Katrin F.S

Hi!

Six months ago I said yes to do a gig at a bar in my town. At the point I was asked I didn’t know witch musicians to use, I had not chosen the songs, far from practiced anything for that night. I had two weeks to prepare the concert.. IK! But then I made a decision: I said yes and jumped right into it.

With a lot of FUN work, practice and phone calls everything fell into place. I got the opportunity to play with new, fantastic musicians, on this fancy bar with a lot of audience. What an experience! + a lot of good feedback too.

I’ve realised how often I use “lack of money/time” with this “CAN’T” as an excuse to my friends and family. Now I’m inspired to make a change.

Thank you!

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Lia (Full Circle Eventi)

Hi Marie,

I’ve been in a pretty bad slump over the past week or so, and I hadn’t been able to get this video to play. I finally got it to work today, and while I heard a lot of what I already believe to be true, it is always good to have important points in your life reiterated at timely increments!
I love the posted quote from Richard Bach, I used to have it up in my room and lost it years ago. I need to re-post it because it is a great source of inspiration.
Thanks again for a kick in the pants, I’ve made the decision to continue to pursue my love and passion for design and wedding coordination and to be successful at it! Sitting down right now to figure out more ways to make it possible!
Lia
.-= Lia (Full Circle Eventi)´s last blog ..Tradition Tuesday – Episode 2.10 =-.

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Karen

Hi Marie,

This information was so reflective of how my mind has been working. I have set a goal to start up a weight loss coaching business when my daughter starts grade one in 2011. Between now and then I wanted to get my goals, information, business planning, products, training, websites, in order. At first I was beating myself up saying I didn’t have enough time to do it until my daughter was in grade one. I was also beating myself up for not starting sooner and asking myself questions like is this what you really want to do. Now I am being honest with myself and I have replace “I don’t have time” to “I choose to dedicate my time to my kids at present and my business in 2011″ , Replace “I should be starting my business now if i am serious” to “I am choosing to take this time to create ideas, work on my products, do business planning” these new replacement statements are honest and real and make me excited about everything i am doing at present rather then judging myself.

thanks for the hands on practical advice – your say it like it is approach is so real – I love it.

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Bethany Bengtson

I know for a fact that the decision comes first. I’ve always wanted to launch my own online magazine and in February I finally did! I got the idea back in 2008. But I thought I couldn’t be legit, I couldn’t be successful until I had worked at like Marie Claire or O! or something.
When I finally made the decision that I didn’t need to live in a certain city or work for a certain person, to be successful things just started coming together for the mag. And now that I’ve launched (had a fab launch party in Feb with almost 100 women, tons of sponsors, and almost 2,500 hits the site in the first week) I know the only thing that will keep me from taking it BIG is me :)

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Bethany Bengtson

I’ve wanted to launch my own online mag since 2008. But I had all this fear about not being able to cut it or make it or be successful because I hadn’t worked for Marie Claire or lived in “the city.” So I finally made a decision about myself. I wasn’t going to let my zipcode determine whether I was successful or not. Once I made that decision, everything started coming together.
I launched this Feb with a kicka#$ launch party. Almost 100 fabulous women, tons of sponsors, an awesome venue. We had 2,500 hits on the site in the first week.
If I had never made the decision that I could be successful no matter what city or what company I worked for, I wouldn’t have launched the darn thing and been as happy and having as much fun as I’m having now.
.-= Bethany Bengtson´s last blog ..What I Wore Today {Polish Edition} =-.

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Brian Canali

This seems like old hat… Do you have any original thoughts or are they all just other peoples’?

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Laura

That was the BEST thing to happen to me this week. Thank you so much for RE-minding me about what I need to be doing. I use your methods all the time and sometimes, I just forget and I usually forget right after I start sabatoging my creations by using the word “can’t”.
In harmony with the universe I created my dream, a yoga studio and I “decided” that I would have a yoga studio and it began to unfold quite synchronistically and in perfect order. I was amazed in in bliss. Then, I began the “I can’t’s” and you are right, things slowed down, the manifestation came to a dead stop and the studio stagnated.
I am now going to decide something and I decide that I will have a large offering of classes beginning next month, I decide that I will find amazing teachers to join the staff, I decide that business will pick up to the point I will have to expand the studio to accomodate the in flow of students.
Thank you and I look forward to reading more about you.
Peace, Laura

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Ella

Iam wondering if this also would apply to relationships?

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Natalie Jones

Marie,

Your video training, “How to get Anything you Want” was a very insightful and helpful lesson. I can see myself practicing these techniques (i.e.,the T chart, being aware of when I use “can’t” versus “won’t”) over the next month or however long it takes to train myself to not think in ways that I practice self deception. I’m not going to lie, I was typing and re-winding the whole time I watched your video.

Action Questions:
1. I used “the decision comes first” frame of mind to make a difficult decision about my academic major and ultimately, my life path. For six years, I wanted to be a doctor, all throughout highschool and middle school. I volunteered at the hospital, saw open heart surgery (in the operating room, yeah, I scrubbed in), shadowed doctors, made appointments, and studied extremely hard. When I got to college, I was a Biology major and after my first year, (over the summer) I was actually reconsidering going to college in the fall. The thing is, I loved Biology, but I was killing myself to get good grades (the only time I was not studying, was when I was sleeping or in class). I gained weight from eating student union building food, I worked all day on the weekends, I didn’t have fun like a normal college freshman. I was resentful of everyone that was happy. That summer (in August, two weeks before classes started- I had my textbooks and everything), I was finally honest with myself (practicing iss-ness here) and decided that the Premedical/Biology route was not the path that I wanted to take, even though it was a profound interest. I realized that I love the media more than life itself. I love people. I am a movie fanatic- I get sad when I go through all of the special features bonus material. I spend half of my internet time on IMDB. I’m obnoxious to watch movies with because I always analyze and tell people the “fun facts.” Sophomore year was a brighter year. I decided to double major in English and Communications, concentrating in Creative writing and Media Criticism/Production. Though I have yet to decide what I want to do, (I am currently a rising junior), I have had more positive feedback from professors and peers than I have ever dreamed of. Classes cater more to my need to analyze and criticisze but still give me a creative outlet. I am actually happy to go to school, happy to study. I FINALLY feel like I am in the right place. Now, while I still work hard, grades don’t have the same “end-all-or-be-all” significance in my head. I am happy and confident where I am, and that is all that counts. I don’t waste time living in the future. I enjoy the now and soak up every ounce of it. :)

2. I actually use lack of money and time together in one big excuse to self-sabatoge. I have a part-time job on campus. I work about twenty hours a week during the semester, making eight dollars an hour. I use the excuse of time to not work more. You could also argue that I would not need to work more hours if I spent my money more wisely and was not such an impulsive buyer. To fix this problem, I need to face the fact that I am not rich…at least not yet ;) and realize that this could get me into a lot of trouble in the future. I need to focus more on “needs” than “wants.” I need to stop buying seasons of sitcoms and movies on iTunes. Even if I practiced these simple steps, it would make a ginormous difference (especially the iTunes). I could also take it a step further and ask you what you would do to fix the impulsivity. Is there an exercise I could practice to fix this? Your exercises always make me think and give me epiphanies (one literally unlocked a whole area of my life that I realize I had been in denial about).

Once I figure out my finances, I would absolutely LOVE to buy one of your programs!

I appreciate your help. Good luck with everything!
-Natalie

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Ali Gee-Woolhouse

Hi Marie!
Thanks for your great training video! Thanks for a great website. Love it! “The Decision Comes First” has shaped up in my life as a constant (when I have made them that is). When I have been half hearted about a decision, the result has been half hearted – funny that! In fact when I reflect on how I have allowed so much of my life over the last few years to amble “inbetween decisions” I realise where ALL of my energy has gone.
But, NO MORE! Here’s a bit of my story:
In 1995 I opened my recruitment business here in Perth Australia. My husband (Ricky) and I had clear dreams of what we wanted to achieve – we wrote everything down, put time lines on when we wanted to create them by, created a business plan that enabled those dreams to be fulfilled (thought it would take about 10 years) and by end of year 4 those dreams were fulfilled. Done! Dusted! Wow! I was shocked at the rapidity of our success. That is another story! Alot has happened since then and our business has morphed several times in that period and right now, having been working with a coach, emersing myself in Tony Robbins’ material and looking at everything that is available in life, I see that life can be lived exactly as I want it; in short, for a while up until last year, my flame had dwindled and I couldn’t work out why. I was bored of doing the things I used to do. I was living my life in the same old pattern! Little wonder the flame nearly petered out. So, over the the last few months, I have done what your training video teaches. I have gotten clear about how I want it to live my life and I have made a decision! In fact, I have made heaps of decisions. AND IT FEELS GOOD! Once the decision is made the energy that comes through takes care of the rest. Its good to reconnect with that. Just wanted to say thank you for this training – the timing is spot on. I’m now going to explore the rest of your website. Thanks a million! Ali

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Michele K.

Marie,
Great video! So much I want to say in a small place… I love your book, love your tips, love how I am inspired to be a better me. Your tips are so spot on and practical. Also, very doable. My friends are always talking about ‘the rules’ of dating, how there are no good guys and generally commiserating about how one day things will be better when x,y or z happens. I have stopped participating in these conversations.
I, myself, have always said I am a lemonade girl – life gives me lemons and I am going to make lemonade. Well, I am upbeat and optimistic even when it was raining lemons. I realized I was always expecting lemons though. Working with the universe and being more proactive has made a difference in my life. A specific example of making a decision first then having things fall into place was when I decided to open my business. Now, things didn’t just fall into place. It took work and determination, but it happened.

I have been using the word can’t more often than I realize. I am going make that shift to won’t or don’t want to starting now. (I had a date that I did not want to go on, I said that I could not tonight. I am going to tell I do not want to at all, not just tonight.)
Thank you for the insight! Please keep up the wonderful work!

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Ben

I believe a few people makes things happen because they don’t give up in life. I have noticed that when you start a project, many people keep telling you that you are crazy, or waste your time, or spend too much money in it, but also noticed that only a very small portion of people tends to believe in you.
You could make everything happen in your life, it is a question of choice, determination and will.
The only thing for now we cannot choose is life and death but of course this will change in the future, with the cloning, artificial life, some scientist believe that death will be a thing of the past in a few 1000s years.

Anyway, I say good luck for everyone wishing to make things happen

Enjoy!

Increase Your Website Traffic, Add Games to your Website

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alice

love it
spot on
I wanted an apartment near a friend and I got a great one in the same building.

After i got the apartment I decided I wanted a more quiet apartment and the apartment in the back of the building came available.

I get what I want…once I decide what I want.

I want a great teaching job at a NY area University! NYU Columbia or Rutgers!

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Jess

Yes! Yes! The decision comes first! I get it..I’ve got to be SUPER Clear about what I want..Vague decisions will get vague results..makes perfect sense.
I’m pretty sure I’m using the I-don’t-have-enough-time excuse for everything…I’m blowing off the kids so I can”get stuff done” but they keep interrupting me while I’m doing it..I’m making the decision to become a professional mommy when I’m with them. I even paused this video to be present and tie some shoes! More fun w/the kids will free me up to be creative and present w/all my decision making…I’m sure of it.

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Azalea

Hi Marie,

Totally loved this video – Thank you so much for sharing.
One instance in my life where the decision came first was with my weight loss.
In March 2009 I weighed about 244 and was completely not feeling well in mind, body and spirit. I said to myself – I’ve got to lose (a lot) of weight. Then my action was to start walking everyday,then a gym membership, then worked with a trainer for a little while – then one day, I met a woman (a really good friend now) at the gym who to this day guides me nutrition wise and with one on one exercises and now I’m 186 and still pressing toward what I decided more than a year ago – Don’t know where I would be without that decision – I suspect, not here.

I try to be honest about what I want to do. It was good to really focus on times when I say I can’t.Really, the truth is, I can do anything! :)

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Stacy

I went on a trip to Ghana, West Africa a little over a year ago. Before the trip I met a guy who was working for an organization in Ghana that helps woman and children to survive and take care of themselves on a daily basis. I knew the organization needed a computer to help grow their business. I decided to raise money to purchase them a computer. I ended up raising double the money I had planned on just by writing a letter to family and friends explaining what I was doing. Besides purchasing a compter, I had a second one donated and I still had $1000.00 left. Once I arrived in Ghana, I became good friends with one on the boys in the village. With the money I rasied, I helped pay for the remainder of his high school. I also orgnized and funded the construction of a floor for an elemenatry school for orphans. When I started this endeavor, the only thing I planned to do was purchase a computer. All of these other conquests happened as a result making a decision. I do beleive that by making decisions and taking action that the universe helps to make bigger and greater happen. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life but now a year later, I feel stuck again and don’t know which direction to go in or how to continue making amazing things happen. i get how to do it and it’s amazing when you do but I’m just not sure what to do next.

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Kerri Grant

Wow Stacy! What a great story – and totally and completely inspiring. Know that you did it once and you can do it… again and again and again and again.

Cheers and happy holidays,

Kerri

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Finance Corner

We have just started our own forum and would love comments, feedback, and any general financial advice or information that would be of benefit to our customers. We look forward to your posts at http://www.financecorner.co.uk Thanks Finance Corner

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Arlene

Hi Marie,
I really enjoyed your gift of teaching practical life lessons without the “airy fairy” style of many of the others who speak of the “universe” in our day to day lives. A example of putting my decision first is I am trying to keep my thoughts on a positive note as often as I can so I decided to stop watching TV news every day to see if that would help me, boy what a difference when you are not hearing about doom and gloom every day, to say the least I am much happier for longer periods of time.

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Nancy Vincent

Great teaching Marie, and I recently made a decision to get a website up & running even though I didn’t have the 3000-5000 I knew ( or thought ) it would take! I then discovered that my professional organization, to which I pay dues for business insurance, has a web builder option available FREE OF CHARGE!!! I was flabbergasted because it was there all along, I just didn’t know about it! So I have been happily building it and chuckling as I go. The universe does respond in such amazing & even hilarious ways!
Thank you for the clarification of can’t VS won’t!!! Brilliant!

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Cat Braithwaite

Wow, Marie, you’ve done it again!

You’re so right about the “Decision Coming First.” As soon as I decided to create my most recent project, it all came tumbling in!

Your brainstorming method is exactly what I needed to hear today. The most desired end result of this project seemed so far from my reach, but as soon as I started thinking in this manner, I suddenly settled on the most delicious list of ways to make it happen…

Now, I can’t wait!

Thanks for being amazing!!

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Diane

Hi Marie! I am very grateful to find your message! I have just been bouncing around in making a decision and having to navigate some of the results of that decision I know exactly what you mean when you say “the decision comes first.” Keeping my energy aimed correctly just became easier with the tools you suggest. The sychronisity of some events have guided me also into making a pretty momentous decision. Now, lots of ideas are coming my way and I’m really excited, then scared. Thank you for the uplift.

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Lisa

How cool! Thank you for this no nonsense training. I loved this.
It reminded me of an article I recently wrote about commitment I’d like to share.

http://escapefromrelationshiphell.com/whats-your-commitment-level.php

I escpecially agree with the idea of NOT being wishy washy.

Thank you for being so generous with your wisdom.

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brittani

Thanks for this video Marie!!

Man, you don’t know how often I say ‘can’t’ do something. Now I know.
I’m a big fat liar. lol But Thanks to this video, I will work on that. Love the T excercise. Thanks again love!
.-= brittani´s last blog ..Update CSpace Group Shoot – June 26- 2010 =-.

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Monifa

One of the most memorable times when the decision came first for me is when I decided to go to grad school with about $200 in my bank account. I was scared as heck but I knew I was meant to go and there was no way I wasn’t going so I packed my car and drove to Massachusetts from Florida and figured the rest out as I went. I did graduate with a Masters in Opera Performance and it was the best training I could have had at that time, so it was ultimately a successful decision.
I tend to say I can’t because of money issues. It seems there always are issues and it seems that nothing worth doing gives me money. I am starting to turn this around but still run into problems.
I look forward to getting coaching from your program/s

Monifa Harris

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Lenore Henderson

Hey Marie,
I want to thank you so much for this. Deciding what you want first is what starts it all…..I am also glad that I have met someone who is an extreme multitasker! I now know that there is someone else in the world who thinks like me….good, I’m not crazy! (smile)

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Claire Stone

oh my god. i’ve just watched this and it is the perfect reminder of things that i absolutely know already! my example is that about 8 years ago, I decided that i was going to become a snowboard instructor, which was just stupid, because I live in England, had no money, could barely snowboard, was 28 years old, was in a really bad relationship, and had really hurt my back. but i made the decision, found a training course, took a loan, did loads of physical therapy, and then spent 3 winters teaching snowboarding in Maine, and even won the ‘snowboard instructor of the year award’ one year. it was amazing, and i always look back on that time, feeling like it was just a miracle, and that it was a different ‘me’ that did it. but actually, the only reason that it all came together was that i really, really, truly, with my whole heart and body, decided to do it. i just need to definitely decide exactly what to do now! amazing. the only thing that i seem to have trouble with is actually allowing myself to ponder a decision properly. at least now, though, i know that i just haven’t been giving enough time and effort to the decision process! thanks for that (even though I am about 8 months late with viewing the video!
.-= Claire Stone´s last blog ..Nutrition in Bristol and beyond! =-.

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rachel

You are so right. Can’t was an excuse for me not to take control of the situation. Saying can’t was giving up and not accomplishing anything. Thanks for enlightening me.

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Ayana

Dear Marie, I am so happy that I occasionally bought your great book this year and now I am reading the materials for this excellent website. Your kind approach to people and life is amazing. I never heard such a brilliant explanation of how to make things happen – so simple and so strong. What you are doing for this world is really great. I am happy that I know English (needs an improvement) and have a possibility to learn how to be effective in life and happy. Wish that more people will be able to listen to your ideas and life principles (Russian version is needed!!!:) ).

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Kerri Grant

Thank you for this Marie! Wow did I need this today. I will certainly never look at the word “can’t” the same way again. My personal story about making decision is about deciding to pursue writing seriously and move to LA. I decided in 2006 that I was moving to LA. I had no idea how but I told everyone I was doing it. Then an opportunity came to submit material to apply for a year-long fellowship in LA. It was a long shot but I applied. With only one script written ever under my belt I made it to the semi-finals. During the phone interview, the fellowship director asked me if I had another script to submit. I did not. I thought it was over for me. But it wasn’t. She said she didn’t know why but she liked me and wanted to give me a chance. She told me to write a spec script of any half-hour comedy on TV and have it on her desk (in LA I lived in NYC) in 5 days. Luckily (or not, I don’t believe in coincidence), I had taken that week off work for a stay-cation. I cleared everything I had to do, holed up in my apartment, and wrote a script and had it on her desk in 5 days. Miracle or miracles, out of over 1,500 people who applied, I was one of 3 fellows. Thanks Marie for allowing the space for us to remind ourselves of the power within us all. Fast forward three years later and I live in LA and have found such beautiful and magnificent riches (friends, grad school, a cat, and a beautiful career on the horizon). Thanks!

Kerri

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Chea Maria

Absolutely true! EVERY time I’ve set my intention, made a firm decision, the doors open for me to do what I decided to do. Never fails. This is what I teach my clients and I’m glad that you are putting this info out there in a very practical way. Thank you!
.-= Chea Maria´s last blog ..Sex in a Card JUSTICE =-.

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Jenny O'Connor

I decided that I will raise at least $20,000 by March 17, 2011 to pay for treatment for my little brother who has had onset of Schizophrenia within the last year. I decided this a week ago, and it has been the most amazing week of my life. I decided to use my violin skills, paired with his rap skills to create some new music in a genre I have never played with before. Information and small opportunities are flooding my way as each next step presents itself! My creativity is stimulated like never before!

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Rebekah Lizalde

So very grateful I took the time to watch the video Marie! So very timely to where I find myself, having to deal with myself, any constraints I am creating and relying on my abilities to make the right moves. Having the ultimate faith to commit 100% to a vision is really testing me. One is the vision to run and own my own business with other women, which is being birthed as AquaSol Eco Spa Holistic Lifestyle Center, the other is to have the income fund the projects I am connected to, all linking back to Indigenous land struggles and autonomous green projects, that will shape a new world. I am being so tested right now to find the funds to keep going forward, to find a way to live in a new city, to pull from my depths a way to maintain this business. Your passing on of knowledge, to ask the tough questions really came at the moment I needed. To push through and forward and not get in my own way. Thank you and welcome you all to visit http://www.aquasolspa.com where four courageous women are trying to exist’s as a community resource for all.

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Christine

Marie,

I’ve been reading your blogs/newsletters/book since 2007. There are so many things that have changed for the better since that time. But to get to your questions you asked:

There have been a ton of decisions I’ve made in the past that have produced the “magic” as you call it. Everything seems to get out of the way and my dream for that certain thing happens. But one time…my divorce…really pushed me into a place where for the first time my “perfect” little world, things came crashing down. And at that time, I went with it. And I have made a ton of excuses as to why I couldn’t do things.

Good news though!! In 2007, I bought your book MEMWY. Best book for women I’ve ever read btw!!!! It transformed my mind back to the days when I was immortal per se. When everything just came together. I started getting my ass in gear and realized that a failure does not make you fail, it is a chance to learn, get stronger and arise to do great things.

And when I listened to this video, I realized that a lot of the things I don’t have, I don’t really want. But I also realized that the dreams I want…it’s time to go after.

Thank you for taking the time to share your heart with all of us and for creating MEMWY. It has not only given me hope again, but has transformed my life and reminded me of the amazing, brilliant and creative woman I was meant to be!!:)

Christine

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Carolyn, New Zealand

Its good to be reminded of these principles Marie.
5 years ago I decided I wanted to sing in a band so I applied for a music course at a local community college. The audition was so terrifying I could barely sing and I didn’t get in, but I resolved to get some lessons and build up my confidence so I could audition the following year. Lo and behold, although still nervous as hell, I got in and began the course. I met some great fellow musos and not only completed that course but went on to complete (part time) year one of a degree in music, majoring in vocals. All that because of one decision and full commitment!

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Jodi Whitby

Sounds corny but I decided that I need expert help in marketing my artwork/me to get to a greater audience – and I found Marie Forleo. Am very excited, it’s now 01.27hrs here in the UK, I have been watching vids and listening to recordings and really should be in bed – but clearly I don’t WANT to go to bed just yet because I’m learning so much from you!
Gratitude and blessings xx

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Jeanie

I live by the message your describing (well most of the time). I also broke an engagement. I knew it didn’t make sense at the time, but I was strongly pulled in another direction so I followed it. My very next relationship resulted in marrying an awesome guy. I’m so thrilled I followed my instinct. I have to comment, you say ‘I’m not a woo-woo girl’. To me it sounds like you’re not owning it. It may be a international language interpretation thing. I’m not sure. I know some look at me weird (my Mum included), but they can’t argue that I make my dreams and wishes come true. Stand behind your beliefs 100% even if it means you get a few strange looks.

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Elaine Coombs

Hi Marie;

I have recently discovered your blog/website and I really love your energy and ideas. You have such a unique approach in your training materials. Thank you for making me think about removing the word can’t from my vocabulary. So many times, I recognize that I just really don’t want to do something. This is a very empowering realization. I look forward to visiting your site often. – Elaine

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Pamela Garrison

I wrote my first book in 2009…It sat on my hardrive until recently (2/11) when I decided to ask Rev. Perkins to pray with me. Rev. Perkins said, “Do you want me to pray first or do you want to pray first.” I offered to go first, ” I asked God to partner with for my healing practice to become a success. I also asked God to provide me with the focus required to polish my book for publishing.” This was the foundation for my future success, as my newsletter would carry the same name. Within 24 hours I reformatted the book, while incorporating a new theme for it’s appeal. Within 2 weeks copyrights and trademark apps were filed. God is good!

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martha

This is so dead on right now, it is making me smile. I had been wanting to move and recently decided to act on it,looked at classifieds, when the phone rang.The usual conversation of what are you doing right now came up, I said looking for a place to live and all of a sudden I got a home offered to me within the time frame I wanted to move and to the place I had been considering.
Yesterday I flipflopped a bit at the thought and nothing got accomplished after days of momentum=proof!!! So, redetermine, I am moving forward today 100%
in my decision, no turning back!
Great video, I like the honesty of shifting from can’t to won’t and acting on the decisions.Thanks Marie!!

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emma

Deciding I would live in Hawaii and surf every day, even though I did not have a green card or more han $ 1000 in the bank.
Through constant action I am now living surfing and loving Maui. This is a great reminder that this can happen in any area in life. I love thee saying ” Think it Feel it Do it.”

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Cindy Avery

This video inspired me so much that I won’t take the time to write out my example of how true it is that making the decision comes first. I want to get started right away!

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stephanie rath

that was awesome. right on sistah!

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victoria

So loved this couldn’t come at a better time in my life, discribes me to a tee. well dicision comes first. most resently i wanted a reliable truck that i could trust while travelling pulling my horse trailer. started noticing that red dodges were standing out to me things were being placed in front of me that were red. seen a truck for sale, teasing told my husband theres my red truck, he stopped took the phone number down. he couldn’t get his parts for ower old truck (they kept sending him wrong parts)a week later i called on the truck, my husband thought would be 25 to 27 thousand and was shocked to find out he wanted 15 thousand. we phoned the bank to see if it would be a possibility(cause he just bought himself a new wwork truck the week before so we still were thinking ya right like not going to happen.) Banker say ya no problem, we walked out of there stunned. Wher i use the lack of well i do that on a daily bases, but not no more that you taught me why i do that, i should of learned with the truck. I had the money for a horse i want like twice but put the money on bills even though my husband said he had them covered. I bought a barn from my aunty , but haven’t moved it home, lots of can’t being used there.wow.Thank you so much for oppenning doors to my mind that i keep closing on myself.

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chris K

Dear Marie…
Just when I made the decision I needed a super kick-butt cheerleader and wise woman, I came across your website. So I guess that would be the first example. But 4 years ago when I decided to become a full-time filmmaker, the words of Mr. Murray came true. The Universe shifted under my feet and granted my wish with the most unbelievable sequence of events in the most unlikely location! Two documentaries later, I’m still awed by how it happened. Now, as there’s nothing visible on the horizon and I’m dealing with crazy family problems, I have slipped back into the “can’t” mire. I have an e-course/workshop website to launch and overcame the “can’t afford it” by contracting someone to design it. Thank you for the “T” exercise. I’ll be putting it to good use within minutes. That will counteract the excuses I was making for why I “can’t” get it going soon. Your site is solid gold! Also loved your free “8 Things” when you gave me permission to do more than one thing and feel great about it! Much gratitude to you…Chris

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Vonny

Hi Marie
thankyou for your wisdom. I had decided to start my online business and now I am going to develop my list. I used to do this but I decided to just wing it and that has not worked.
Vonny

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Lily

Well, I don’t know if you intended this, but I am going to use “The decision must come first” to GET OVER being rejected by a man I was head-over-heels in love with. He broke us up 10 months ago, and I am still suffering over this loss, and the fact he very quickly started dating a single woman in town and shows up with her at all the events we used to attend together. I am heart broken. But I do not want to waste any more of my precious life mourning the loss of this relationship. I really want to be okay running into them together. I want to stop feeling like a loser. I want to understand my role in the demise of what I THOUGHT was a fantastic, fulfilling, sexy, magical relationship. Obviously he thought it was unworthy, and so was I in his mind. How can two people have such wildly different perceptions of the same relationship? These are the issues I need to address and find answers to and move on.

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sarah

Reading everyone’s stories – I”m inspired. I decide to stop being a wishy washy decision maker NOW. Looking back – I realize the times I did make a clear decision – it happenend – with my first job and then deciding to heal from chronic illness. Any advice on overcoming indecision on what I want – is it a form of “I can’t” – seems to be where I get stuck most often ……

I’m so grateful to have found you Marie and your team – thanks for the inspriation and clear, usable tools :)

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Dianne

After 15 years of staying at home with my children, It was necessary for me to return to the work force full time. I set my salary goal in my mind and the type of job I would like. I landed that job through a referral from a person that I was working for at the time. This person invested alot of time in training me, but was willing to help me get what I wanted and needed. I have been working in my new position for approx 5 mos. and I love it.

I have a very big life decision to make very soon. I use concern and worry for my children to sabotage my decision to move forward. I am still struggling with what decision to make although I know what I want to do. The only way to change it is to be 100 committed to my decision and trust that everything else will fall into place.

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kathe

Actually in finding your website and just listening to this talk I see an example of decision coming first. I had made a decision that I need to be more engaged ‘in general’ in life and have more direction – get rid of self-pity – and then I find my way to this website and to this particular topic. It was exactly what I needed to keep me on this path – of no more ‘victim’ mentality but rather thinking about how something ‘can’ be done…this is really helpful

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Avital

Hi, I agree with the information in this video but my problem is the action part. I am great at laying in bed and researching things in between watching shows. I make lots of lists and plans, but it stops there for the most part. I feel too overwhelmed to get started. When I do I see how there is another thing to do and another thing to do and this huge unending list feels so overwhelming that I say oh eff it and crawl back in bed. I do have difficult things going on..chronicly ill husband that was too sick to work to the point of losing everything, small step children that I usually care for on my own due to his illness, his crazy ex always dragging us to court or pulling something to cause upheaval… I could go on. I cannot continue to let these things keep me down though b/c there might always be something this dramatic going on. How do I get my ass motivated and stay that way?! Help!!!

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Nicole Bradford

WOWAWESOME. So much in this video takes what I’ve had before to another level. I have firmly “got” that when I am clear about what I want, and send that out somehow the Universe conspires in my favour. (OOOooohhh I love that phrase). The new level is that taking some form of ACTION empowers the whole shebang. WOOT!
I have long “got” the difference between “can” and “will” in regard to asking questions, ie there is a huge difference between saying to one’s 15 year old son, “can you take the garbage out” OR “will you take the garbage out”; the first one is almost a hypothetical question, the second is a request to do something. Taking that to the next level in how I am talking to others and myself…being honest…INTERESTINGLY, that is one very subtle example of the Universe conspiring to help me out; I recently put it clear in my mind that I want to be more honest, and I started being more careful about wording things…and now I get this input from you, Marie…

The one little “because I don’t have enough….” that I will keep on the lookout for IS…energy. And if I don’t have the energy for something, I’m finding it is because it isn’t something that is FOR ME.

I got a quote the other day, “The antidote for exhaustion isn’t rest, it is wholeheartedness.” David Whyte (No idea who he is, do you?)

Thanks Marie!!!

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Susan

Just stumbled upon this site via Rise to the Top. Excellent info and I look forward to more rap & videos & successful, rich, happy & hot women on the rise!

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Gillian Archer

Thank you for your candid and frank video. I’ve always been strong in spirit and independent but also governed by fear. While owning my own business to create the life I have always wanted, (one that will also allow me to help, inspire, & support additional charitable incentives) I’ve allowed fear to convince me of WHY something will not work and continued to struggle in and out of the corporate sector which has done nothing to help feed me spiritually, but by contrast, it’s starved me.
I would say the most general ways I self-sabotage are via Fear & lack of Confidence. “That will never work”… or “No one would be interested or have money for that” …. but today I have taken notes and have made an appointment for a logo. Baby steps…

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Tasha Dockery

I recently decided that I would begin a freelance writing business. I am a new mom and wanted to find freelance projects I could complete while my son slept at night. I found a lot of freelance websites and articles with helpful advice. Then I began waiting for my son to begin sleeping through the night so I would have more energy to present my very best to potential clients. I waited and waited for over a month and did nothing. One night I got tired of waiting and decided to submit an article on a whim. It was pretty rough but I completed a rewrite and, best of all, I got paid!

Without really thinking about it, I’ve started to use lack of sleep as an excuse to submitting another article or working on my other side projects. I could make some long list about what I’ll change but I think the best change I can make is becoming aware of when I fall into an unproductive pattern and have a jumpstart plan to get out as quickly as possible so that I don’t lose the momentum I’ve built up around an idea or project.

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Jill

The Decision Comes First truly resonated with me because I spent years not commiting, not making a decision and all I received back was wishy-washy – muddy results. Nothing seemed clear to me, I could never find out what “i really wanted to do with my life”. Then came the Decision – I quit my job and decided to take a year off to redirect my life. Each day I committed to that decision and each day was miraculous, synchronous and I have been on an amazing journey. I now know exactly what I want to do with my life and the doors just keep opening one after the other. I feel like someone has hooked me up to an IV of crack cocaine as I have so much energy, clarity, creativity, ideas, etc. it is insane.
Second question – in the past, it would usually be lack of money, or time – one more than the other depending on the circumstance. But when I committed to taking the TIME and investing my MONEY in me – i have had no fear, no lack of time and no lack of money, not for one instance. I work my butt off every day for me and I have never looked back.

Thank you for bringing it to us all!

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Sherry

Hi Marie! Well, I just wanted to pop in and respond to your question.
The “decision comes first” factor happened for me when I decided to go back to college in 2004. I didn’t know what I was going to study or if I would even make it through a whole semester. I just knew I desired a college degree. It’s funny how your mind sets you up to do the things you really want to do. There have been many times I said “I can’t” to numerous things but no matter what, I got my ass up and went to class. I graduated in 2009 with a GPA of 3.8. I had many ups and downs but some how, since I made the DECISION to get a degree and was paying out of my pocket at one point- I was friggin going to get that degree.

I really appreciate this video because I am at a crossroads. I have not worked much since I graduated and I’ve been saying that same ol’ I can’t do this or I can’t afford that stuff. You made me realize that it’s bullshit! Truth of the matter is: My dreams are crazyridiculously big. I consider myself to be a pretty damn good writer and want to make a living at it. Watching your video is inspiring. I see that I am my problem. I need to get out of my own way and accomplish my dream of becoming a great writer and make a shit load of money at it. You have given me a jolt of confidence – thank you.

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Laurel Anderson

Of late I was anxious about a dwindling bank account. I have enough to build a house for rental income, but I need income for living meanwhile. One morning I woke up and realized I have so many options for income, I have an ecommerce website for hand painted canvas bags, I have a business making painted canvas rugs, I have a small cabin I could rent, I could take out a loan. Within days of just making the decision, a couple came to rent the cabin, an order came for a large canvas rug, a hotel owner has asked me to do the interior decorating ( an option I hadn’t even thought of!) so now I am too busy to worry about lack.

I have procrastination issues but I know it’s from won’t and not can’t. One thing my Momma taught me from childhood, We are all responsible for our own life!

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Aimee Prezzano

Hey, Marie: I just watched this (I am in B-School now) and this is so applicable. I am so glad I found it! to answer your questions…
1. Do you have any proof about the decision coming first?
Oh, all the time! My most recent one was that I have always wanted to start a business…I mean, for real this time…(not just a quick side job)…I made a decision…. and then, over the past two years or so I had been following some of your B-School grads (unknowingly) in their blogs, and they pointed me to your program…which was exactly the same time that I got laid off from my job. So, here I am….really doing it!!
2. How about ways you use the “lack of money/lack of time” excuse?
Um…..busted! Too much. I will be more aware of that from now on!!! Thanks for pointing out….

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Jacqueline

Hi Marie!

LOVED this video… When I finally made the DECISION to make a career jump from producing video & other multimedia projects to a career in beauty, I was able to secure a job in the industry almost immediately. When I finally made the DECISION to make the jump from full-time employment to freelance Makeup Artistry (biiiiig jump), your concept definitely came to fruition full force.

It seemed to go exactly as you described in your video. All I did was proclaim to myself and the world (my friends, family, and business contacts) that I was officially a Professional Makeup Artist for hire, and the calls and emails started pouring in!

As for my next step in gaining clients & buzz, I’ve very recently started a makeup industry/experience-related blog. I am currently thinking of different ways to get the word out to obtain more followers/subscribers. Please take a look!

http://flawlessbyjm.blogspot.com/

Get it, girl!
<3 Jaxx

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Anita Driessen

Doing this exercise today. I make very vague decisions in my life and no wonder I get very vague results! Thank you for the reminder that the responsibility and the answers lies with me. Brilliant!

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Kate

Simply splendiferous Marie. Loved it. It is sooo easy to sabotage our power and hide behind negative self-talk, procrastination and sheaths of self-deception and delusion. I have done this a lot in my past. My not feeling good enough and comparing having me play small. Working with other successful, makin’ in happen, women like yourself I’ve got to realise that to serve other women I need to let go of the ego, trust my knowing and act with authentically. I will return to your sageness time and time again. Thank you!
P.S. Love the reframing from pronouncing words funny to making words up. Sits well with my creative archetype!

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Miriam

I have just recently been sacked from a job which wasn’t me and one which I was very unhappy in. However, I continued to do my best but somehow the universe pushed me out of there. Thank you so much for these practical steps. Because of financial reasons I am in danger of putting myself in yet another unhappy situation just to pay the rent but as you say this is self sabotage and I do have ideas. So I will start with a decision. Thank you Marie.

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Oweneumma

Сажусь ради кровать. Ладошка тянется вниз живота. Провожу согласие животику ,касаюсь соска, вторая рукоятка скользит вниз, поглаживает киску : Проникаю внутрь Глубокие глотки – Daisy Marie среди губок – так мокро, близко моим пальчиком хлюпает, Сжимаю , тискаю сосочки: Перст проникает завсегда глубже и глубже! Ах, ох ох аааа Перст быстрее и быстрее скользит соразмерно клитору, временами цепляя его коготком: Я прогибаюсь, вздыхаю.Как нравиться рисковать теплую истому в нижу живота , коли моя киска сочится примерно водопад! Вдруг хорошо!

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Ashley Karr

Making a decision and committing to it gives me courage and focus. When I decide 100% that something is going to happen in my life, it happens. It always has. We were very poor when I was little and lived in crappy apartments. I used to draw pictures every day of “our house.” It was 2 story. My bedroom was on the second floor. It had a fenced yard with a white, fluffy cat playing outside. By the time I was 6, we had all those things. My favorite quote on this subject is:

“Courage is being afraid but saddling up anyway.”
~ John Wayne

Giddyup :)

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Fran

You rock! Thanks for telling it like it is! I have been trying to shake up my boring routine and your videos are exactly what I need. I am making a decision to change my life and live rich, happy, and hot! I can do it!

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Ivette

Love the video, and I want to let you know part of my story, Ill tried to make my own bussiness since november, but I autosabotage me with cants thoughs about dont got the money to invest in the ingredients, tools and thats stuffs, so I was all the time in my home selfustrating about my bussiness and myself, and doing nothing, last week I decide( desition is first) I want to prepared myself more profesionally and go to the university to take a (profesionall restaurants and hotels managment degree)actually im selflearn baker, well I go and get the catalog, next week I met a guy, we start talk and dont remember how he told me he was an enterpreneur, so I asked him about my bussiness and he give me few steps to do to achieve it, then today I make my to do list related to the tips that the guy give it to me and then I was checking my email list, saw the last video that you send in your newsletter and want to watch it again, when I finish I make a tour in your page ( never do it before ) and found the hot and rich program and I register on it and found this video that help me so much, because I was again playing with my cants thoughs, now I gonna use your tips, all of them,the pitas clients, the waiting list, the cant for wont and the T list for the thing I want . Thank you so much Marie

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Boston Girl

I agree completely.. If we can’t name it, we can’t claim it. Writing it down and getting super specific always helps me.

dee :)

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Cori

Hi Marie…..I’m really enjoying your videos and got some great information from this training. Here is my ‘decision’ story I’d like to share….! Many years ago I went to watch an ‘indie’ film with a friend. I loved the movie and “decided” that I wanted to work with the director. I didn’t have any experience in film, but I “decided” that that was what I was going to do. A few days later, I was walking downtown and lo and behold… I passed the director on the street….and he smiled a big smile at me. I took that as a ‘sign’. Somehow I found out where the production office was for his next film and I sent him a letter saying I wanted to be the Costume Designer for his film…(I had never even worked on a film, let alone design the costumes for a film). A little time passed and then out of the blue I got a call from the Costume Designer working on this Director’s film, asking me if I wanted to work for one day doing some sewing. Of course I said yes and jumped at the chance to be involved. I ended up working on the entire film….I got a great job in the costume department and had more fun than I could imagine….plus I got paid. (I had decided I would offer to volunteer….I just wanted to work on the movie so badly). Anyway….the moral of the story is of course when you ‘really’ decide you want to do something….it really happens. That film was the beginning of my very successful career in the film industry! P.S….at the end of the film, I received the nicest thank you letter I have ever received in my entire career…..from the Director!

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Karen Green

Well, I sure am excited to have found you.
Thank you so much for “can’t vs won’t”.
A few hours ago I really did believe myself when I said, “I can’t…”.
It is my goal to own a well running comfortable car, a house with a porch and a yard big enough for a small swimming pool and space for my grandchildren and husband to play with the dog we are going to have. I see myself thin, healthy and tan in this vision, so I will need to add “eat right, get enough sleep and exercise” to my list of lists.
I won’t bore you with too many details as I try to reach these goals, but I will keep you posted.
Thank you for the inspiration.
Also, you are very beautiful inside and out and you look stunning in your exercise video.

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Bobbi

Hi Marie,

Hi Marie,

Loved the training, thanks!

Here’s an example of deciding first and not having a clue of how things would come together :0
Made the Decision first to work as a vendor with the federal government. I took the necessary action. I am now officially a federal government contractor AND I actually have been awarded a contract for my services! WOO HOO!! No joke…Definitely, co-creation with the Universe!!!

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Barbara

Thank you So much! Your advice Marie has been so well thought out, well organized and so helpful. It came in a time that I most needed the advice.

I stumbled upon your blog and I’m so happy for this has got the wheels moving in my brain to finally get started with my business. I have been on this for quite a long time but it hasn’t taken off.

I plan to make a decision and take action on opening a studio. You answered the those reality questions my mind keeps asking. I plan to let you know how it all turns out. I plan to credit you for this very special nugget of information in my website or blog that I will start. Can’t will no longer be part of my vocabulary. I feel free and calm at the same time. Not knowing where to go or what decision to take is so freaking stressful and tiresome.
So you know..
Your awesome, you have pizazz, great personality and giving.

Thank you so much.

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Barbara

I loved it! Practical at best!

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Jan Polk

Thanks for sharing such valuable information, Marie! My most recent decision was to take the time to read your email which lead me to this link. You are my network and I am so happy to have discovered you. My biggest problem is how do you know who to trust when looking for companies to work with? especially on the internet.

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veronica

I am so grateful i found you!

I am a queen of working my ass off and then being burned out so i stop and loose all (almost) the benefits of it
i am a queen of “i start with great motivation and then i stop, i doubt, i hesitate”,
when my dream, goal, wish does come true (OMG!) because i am really into it with no doubt well i sabotage it, i step back, i go cold…. I Leave like i don’t deserve it :-(
so now i feel tired, sorry for myself for letting my dreams go away and now each time i have an impulse i think “why bother”!

I never committed to nothing i realize or at least not on the long term even when i love it i always find a way to stop it, i love dancing so i will take dance classes and then injure myself so i have to stop so i get sad and after laziness creeps in

i am often like a lion in a cage full of dreams, drive, energy but not knowing how to get there! grrrrrrrr!

an example of making a decision :
i had the goal to go to the uk ten years ago, (i am french) i made the decision and from there (very fast really) i found an opportunity to go so i left over there (one of my best time ever!) for a year and a half, i eventually i came back…. “of course” but it is an example of a commitment which led to synchronicities and opportunities, amazing, i had an interview to go there it took 5 mns (for the others it was 20 mns) because i was so determined and it was such a fit to go to the uk

thank you for your video Marie, no more sorry for myself only knowledge of what’s going on, if you could do a video on why someone gets cold after reaching a dream or goal, why this fear of success or happiness????
LOTS OF BLESSINGS TO YOU,
Namasté

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Jeanna Gabellini

Agree 100% with all of this except…this IS Law of Attraction. Been teaching it for 12 years & say almost the same verbiage in my book with Jack Canfield “Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction.”

Just sayin’. =)

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Ashley

When I decided to lose weight, I was blessed with a free gym membership, free classes to take, and recipes to make. Made the decision first, Universe provided everything else.

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demorand

I really enjoyed your video,you’ve become a part of my life!
Believe it or not: I have never really decided anything. Because past failures
are like an internal voice that tells me not to want anything because I won’t get it! Seems crazy? it is but I HAVE to change things NOW, i have two kids to raise and I’m on my own. My biggest challenge now is to sort out what I really want and decide to get it. I’m a very talented illustrator and decorator but up to now, I haven’t believed I can make tons of money with this( lack of confidence and lack of connections).There are many ways for me to make money with what I create and that is the main obstacle believe me: which one do I pick? I’ll let you know and thank you so much for being here! Catherine.

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MANMMEET SINGH

hi , marie forleo
thank you for sharing with us . it such a wonder ful prenentation and very practical . I never thing about this can’t and won’t can make a big different in my life . Simply splendiferous Marie i loved it . you are such a knowledgeble and wonderful person . you were doing a great job when i watching this video it like part of my life because what i did in my pass they internal thing , i can’t do anything in my future but i know exactly where i lacking in my confidence . thank for sharing with as you are such a wonderful person i hope in future i get the chance to meet you
thank a lot

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Márcia Freire

Hello Marie. Thank you very much about this very important lesson. I was trapped in this CAN´T stage for a while. You gave me a chance to realise the problem is that I don´t really want a lot of things and was giving myself a very good excuse. When you explained that by being honesto to yourself first and do not really hurt people besides you have no responsibility upon others but yourself. I have to put into practice the old saying” If you want to help someone, help yourself first”. Thanks a buch. I just love your videos!!!

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Emily

Hi Marie!

I am a big believer in making things happen for yourself. My trouble in the past has been dropping an idea just when things start to come in. I drop it. Lose interest, usually because something ELSE new grabs my attention.
I want to start sticking with one thing. Something that I haven’t thought of yet and taking it to the maximum. :)
PS I read that people who do this are called Scanners but I really dislike labelling. I think I wasn’t being committed.
Looking forward to more of your writings/videos, and I will keep in touch regarding my progress.
I think you are doing a fabulous job! <3

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Jane

I’ve spent so much time make decisions all the time in the past, that I didn’t realise meant so much! Now I understand why I can be incapable at times?
Going to make my mark, by testing it out.

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eric

Ms. Foleo , your video is fantastic but I think this whole idea of your is right on
time. I want to be rich . I mean flthy stinkin rich. Now I have a purpose in my life to fullfill and I intend to do it.I have read (stiil reading) Hill, Stone, Nightingale, Wm James and many others. I am including you and your works in my master group. How much ? ten figures would be nice.
E

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Karen Hodgson

Hi

Thinking about when I know the decision came first and all fell into place was about 23 years ago. A new friend asked me to come work with her in small accounting practice, I quit my bank job and jumped with both feet. My friend actually left the small practice about 3 years in and I’ve been at it since then with original clients.
Recently a client was bought and buyer has their own accounting staff. Beyon losing the client this was my main bill payer so I’ve been trying to get on tract to find new business. In mid fifties but know I still have alot to offer. Appreciated your How to Get Anything You Want. Reminding me what happens or not are from my choices so plan to start your simple T and create my own reality (so to speak). Thanks for experience and knowledge.

Karen

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Evan Thompson

Marie,
A friend (my fitness coach) has been working with me for more than eight years and sent me this video.
I am awestruck by its substance and simplicity!
1. On making the decision first: I visualize a great outcome. I imagine it unfolding – first feeling the good energy rising within myself and consequently within others who make it happen with me. Sometimes it takes time, or it can be happen quickly.

2. Self-sabotage. You sometimes see others succeed who you feel are unworthy of success. They may be dishonest, not very smart, lazy or whatever. You feel you deserve a good outcome due to the fact you are a good person and work hard. You don’t realize you are lacking commitment to yourself. When you don’t see results for a time, you accept second best and get used to the fact that you are not cut out to be top of the class.
3. I overcame this negativity quite simply by visualizing the best outcome and making the effort to realize it. I now hear the words before they are spoken by a prospect who becomes a client: “OK. Let’s go ahead with this project. We like your approach and we have the budget. And we need your expertise. When can you start?”
There really is no substitute for hard work to get to this point – making the phone calls, writing thank-you notes (corny to some but they work!), getting on the plane to get to a networking opportunity in NYC: just putting it out there.

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Cass

Once I decided that I had to find a job NOW…I did. By a few simple phone calls. However I guess I wasnt completly clear that I needed to work now and I need the full time position.Working on changing this soon..I guess because I was so vague about this that would explain why I am not working right now. The good news is that I found this website…YAYA!

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Mary E. Shea Kelly

Absolutely love the video. Whenever I have made my mind up to do something, I get it done. When I decided to graduate with honors, I did it. When I decided I wanted to be super successful in my career, I was.

However, the decision is the key and can’t definitely means won’t.

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Bonnie

Hi Marie
I read one of your books “Make every man loves you”. When I was very depressed after I found out my husband had an affair . Since then I love to hear everything you have to say . This lecture is outstanding and took me off this am out of the self deception or how I call it sometimes ” self destruction” path . I’m going to work in few goals that I have and keep you post it with what happens . Bonnie

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Anneliza

I made a decision to move house and yes, everything fell in place. The rented house I got was perfect for me – I had decided what and how I wanted it to be. Switching from a ‘victim’ mindset to an ‘in charge’ mind-set does make things happen. I just did not realize it before. I will apply it for bigger things that have been holding me back now. It’s always fizzled half-way because I had doubts and became wispy-washy about the potential.

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Dave Stewart

Marie, your no-bullshit approach is just the kick in the ass I needed! I’m now looking at past failures in a new light, realizing where I went off the rails … and even better, looking at future success as inevitable as I want it to be! You are fabulous – I appreciate your work in this area. But speaking of that, why only women? My God, every man I know (especially fellow artists like me) could use this just as much as their female counterparts! Your appeal is universal, girl! I bow to your insights!

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Kelly Bermingham

I LOVED this video! I am going to use the T and make a list of how I CAN get what I want! Such a simple exercise to focus on the positive.

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Margaret

Hi Marie,
Thanks for this video. It is so clear and easy to follow. A good reminder of what we each have with in us to create what we want. Sometimes I forget….

In the past I had always shared an office with another person to cut expenses. Most of the people I with whom I shared an office were great and we were able to work out our schedules easily. The last person I shared with was not like that and I knew I needed to do something, but I was afraid of incurring the cost of going and finding a new place and signing a one year lease. One of my clients found a great place, but the rent was 5 times what I was paying. I decided to take the leap. The number of my clients increase and the rent was covered without a problem.

Thanks for being there and encouraging us onward with lots of good energy, great insights and humor.

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Angie

Wow! In the back of my mind the self-deception, self-sabotage has always been there, and you have helped to bring it to the fore front. The video is great in defining can’t and won’t, simple and straight to the point. A big part of my self-sabotage is fear, but I have just made the “decision” things are going to change this year.

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Márcia Freire

Hello Marie,

Thank you for this great lesson. I have been experiencing many different things in my life since I started taking action with my own hands and make things happen. I´ve realized I was not making any decision but going with the flow and complaining about the results I was taking. Now. I am in charge and control and I won´t play the victim role no more.

Enough is enough. Since I´ve made that decision to go for what I really what, no matter what my life has changed dramatically. I feel happier and more enpowered than ever.

Thank you, and once again, thank you, thank you!!!!

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Line

Ohh what a juicy fun video, I loved it! SO right for me here where I am today:)

I decided to go for a 4 month long course at a school in NYC last spring, and I live in Denmark, the course costed me 5000 $ plus 4x airfairs, and as soon as I graduated the school in NY, tax payed me back 6000 $ that I had as a loan in the bank for the course! And during the 4 months of all the travelling (besides studying on my MA in textiles and fashion in Denmark), a girl from school was graduating and needed a person to make all her patterns (ME) and it payed 2 tickets, plus my amazingly supportive boyfriend ended up helping me with an airfair.
Right now I need to make a new decition, weather I move near school for the last 5 month or stay in this apartment (I LOVE SO MUCH) and find new ways of income.
Also what I took away from this is theat awesome way you describe the “how to” list, very nice! Thank you so much, as always, can’t wait to see what you come up with next:)
xoxo line

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Narelle

WOW…. Okay I have eaten a shit sandwich or two, but am grateful for what I have. My life was on track and has gone askew with a marriage breakup. I often find myself saying can’t and a friend put me onto this. I’m gonna get off my arse and do some stuff, but I will have to accept a lesser lifestyle as I won’t let myself miss out on my kids. Can I have both, I am working on my list. But my happiness and the kids happiness comes first. I can find a job that pays more and work less and maybe I can work from home. I gotta get on board. I had it all, and my life just went “poof” I need to get me back and kick some arse. You have inspired me when I most needed it. I have been in a dark space for quite some time and I’m going to watch and read you daily to get my head space sorted. I have done life coach stuff and even worked under one and assisted her sell her stuff and I was bloody good, so I gotta walk what I used to talk. I can achieve anything.Somebody try and stop me!!!! I don’t think so. Thanks again.

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Moroesi

About 6 months ago I quit my job… enrolled for my Masters and will be sitting for an exam in 3 weeks. Definitely one of the hardest decisions I have made in my 27 years, but ultimately most liberating and affirming.

With the decision came very many ebbs and flows along the way, however I am blessed to say that everything I mean everything has worked together for the good.

I remember that in my younger years (hihi) I loved reading biographies, and marvelled at the lives I got to be a part of in each story. How or could that ever happen to me, could that be my life???. So my decision effectively was to value myself, my life, my potential,… enough to take a chance on myself and what it is I know is my calling.

I will do what it takes to lead a life that was worth documenting, I’m doing that now. I am building that story and creating a life I have always dreamed about… and I will write ‘how to’ book for my niece as a gift for her when she turns eighteen.

Thanks Marie. Me being on this site is perhaps the most telling evidence…

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Stacey (@Co_Lead)

This is, as usual, awesome advice! :o)

I have been saying “I can’t find work in my field” for months, possibly even years, now. (Doh!) And yet, over that time I have tried all kinds of different ways. It’s almost as if I had written a “can” list and I’ve been crossing them off one by one. Except it hasn’t been deliberate or pre meditated. (I think things would have moved a lot faster if I had though!) Until finally, I’ve come to self employment as an idea, and then, Marie, I happened to run across your RHH B-School ads. Finally i see a “way” to do what I am meant to do in a new light.

So I’ve made a decision! A decision that is so much more interesting and exciting than I ever imagined. A decision that works in tandem with other areas of my life. It’s gonna be wicked…! :o)

Thanks for the “can’t” reminder. I was always told to ask myself “How MIGHT I do blablabla” when I hear myself say the word can’t. But I am such a visual person, I really love the effect that big “X” has on my inner “can’t” sabotueur.

Diggit!

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mara

This video was very helpful. Understanding that we are 100% responsible for the results I think is enlightning! I repeat that as a mantra! it keeps me focused. Also regarding the importance of decision making I’ve noticed that when I dwell on making a decision absolutely nothing happens,it’s like stagnet water,YUK!. Finall,something very interesting:I stood in front of the mirror while repeating the words “I can’t” and “I won’t” several times, everytime I said “I can’t” the expression on my face was like a victim,weak and frail almost scared, kind of like a big WUZ! but when I said “I won’t” it was a stronger,more honest and determined expression,I was empowered and in control of my situation,most of all it showed that I have actually made a DECISION. Thanks so much.this video was excellent.

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Lynzee

WOW! That is the exact video I needed to see in this crossroads of my life. I see the “decision comes first” concept to be true all around me on almost a daily basis but most recently my fiance and I decided it be best that I find a part time job to help out with bills so we can really focus on saving money to buy land for a future house.

Well just today I got online and started looking for jobs in beauty industry in my area, well I found a great one sent my resume and 15 minutes later got a response to be interviewed in two days! I am most confident that because I decided to move forward with this decision only then did the right opportunity present itself.

I catch myself self-sabotaging a lot with my current business when things get tough. But I know that I need to start being more honest with myself and others that support me on why things aren’t moving in certain directions etc!

Thanks again for taking the time out to share all of your valuable knowledge with us in a straight forward take no bull manor!:)

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Jane

Marie, great, actionable advice as always – thanks!
The company I work for is relocating, which presented choices: go with it to a completely new location or take redundancy and make a new career where I am. There are opportunities opening up in the company because of the move, so I’m going with it, but just making that first decision was freeing. Regardless of which they chose, colleagues agree with me that making the decision (which means follow-on decisions and multiple other steps) settled them to focus and think more clearly, enabling them to move towards that goal.
In my own life, I’m focusing much more on action than I used to, for which I credit a development course over the last 10 months, Danielle LaPorte’s Fire Starter Sessions and Marie.tv – it’s great having such a lot of empowering, action-focused input; even better to feel the results I achieve in implementing it! Roll on B-School!!

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Shanique

Decisions, decisions we make these everyday and they are not always the right ones. For me I can either chose to sit and do nothing during my break at work or I can listen you,which gives me push further into the right way.
Recently I made a rash decision and I actually dried my account to invest in my business now I have my products and they are actually selling…. I made a conscious decision to make life better by going into business, and am also working on generating leads to my fan page that’s what I want to do.

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Roshini

Hi Marie!
Great video… one time making a decision proved really useful in my life was making the decision to take evening Acrobatic classes at The Circus… this then led me to not only have AWESOME fun balancing on other people and doing handstands, amongst other things, but also led me to speak to a girl in the Circus locker room who had done pole dancing and recommended it to me… I then watched Felix Cane on youtube and BAM! I signed up for pole dancing classes, and haven’t looked back. It is just SO much massive FUN!

Like you, I have a tonne of hobbies (bellydancing, acrobatics, hoop-dancing, pole dancing) plus a full time job, so I don’t have much time left to work on setting up my part-time bellydance business… but I realise that this is because I *won’t* prioritise this! So even if it is during my commute from my hobbies, I need to sit down and make a plan for my business instead of making excuses, so that’s what I have decided to do.

Thanks Marie!

Roshini

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Najwa

I used “The Decision Always Comes First” in my life when I decided that I was not going to put off cosmetology school any longer, I contacted everyone at the school for months, got seat deposit fees cancelled, and got into school on February 29th!

I sabotage myself by saying I can’t get a new car or the car I want because I don’t have the money, I have no job and don’t know where the money would come from.

I also sabotage my finances by saying I want to be wealthy but in my conscious mind (and probably my sub conscious mind also) I tell myself I don’t have a way for that to happen, or I don’t know how to make that happen, or getting frustrated and giving up and having too many plans in my head at the same time.

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Aradia G. of Aradia's Hand

My Proof: In the last month I’ve had several instance where I felt strapped for cash. Now I knew I had custom orders waiting in the wings but I had some trouble accepting they were finally going to be paid for. When I made the decision to take worry out of the picture and trust that the orders would be filled within a week, unexpectedly, they were paid for.

My Excuse: I have a bad habit of looking at a price tag and shying away, I’m much a focus-er on what I have right now and when I don’t physically have something I feel as though I “can’t” get it either. So I don’t even try to get it.

This video training to me was powerful. Acknowledging the difference between “can’t” & “won’t” is extremely important!

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joan

this is fucking bullshit, you can go fuck yourself. BITCH

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joan

this is fucking bullshit, you can go fuck yourself

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scott

I enjoyed your video…Thank you for taking the time to make something so positive . I could really relate to the part where you were talking about being wishy washy and getting that in return from the universe. I went full steam at an art career years ago and all these amazing things started to happen. As time went on I became unsure that I wanted to live that life at all and I became less involved in the work , the people, the art itself,the galleries, and sales…. I found myself getting exactly that in return.

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MrModnick

Рад Встрече!

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Kelly

Hi Fredrik,
I don’t believe in “voodoo” and it would totally turn me off if Marie taught that. I think what we have here is the power of positive psychology without using that term. BUT, the word “psychology” turns a lot of people off…so Marie probably just tried to simplify things and not possibly turn people off with that word. At the same time it is kind of cool that she just lets us decide what we want about the “why” part. She then just focuses on getting the results. That is my take on this. I have read a lot about optimism, positive thinking and depression. It is proven that athletes that train with positive visualization perform better than those that don’t. Most books with a cognitive approach to depression explain that thoughts prelude our emotions. Point being that we usually can decide how we feel about things and aren’t at the mercy of our feelings and whims. So, I don’t think this stuff works miracles, but I think it is very powerful and a lot of the people around here like to use the term “miracle” or “magic” in a poetic sense, which is fun. Why not? That is how I take it.

Just to add to the personal experience discussion…
Looking back on my life I realize when I’ve made a decision I have made things happen. About 12 years ago I became determined to get out of $6000 debt that was killing me due to my low earnings. I was a nanny in Oregon. How the heck was I going to ever pay my bills off asap making $8.00 an hour?!!! Well, I made the decision I HAD TO get out of debt before I could pursue anything else in my life and lo and behold my roommate discovered what live-in nannies made in NYC. At the time up to $500 or more a week. It was strange, and I’ve never forgotten how calm and sure I was about my decision to move to NYC. Even after tearing up at the airport I still knew I was doing the right thing for me. I didn’t have a job yet. Anyhow…things just worked out…did I love it? NO. Who would want to live like that forever? BUT, I paid off all of my debt in 7 months!! And could start life financially with a clean slate. I was determined. I meet people all the time that complain about being in debt, and I’ve known firsthand that if they were serious about getting out of debt and staying out of debt they would figure out a way to do it. I’m living proof! And things financially and work-wise have just kept getting better and better. I’m still debt free, have a good job, savings, profit sharing, IRA…lil’ ol me! :)

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Martha

Thanks for sharing! What an amazing story!!

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Lisa Wilder

You go, girl!

It’s totally cool that you have no idea how yet. You don’t need to be able to “see” every step to make it happen. You only have to identify the first step and take it. The next steps will unfold as you go.
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Eleanor

Love your story Rina! Thanks so much for sharing it!
best, Eleanor

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Lisa Wilder

Hey Cheryl!

My name is Lisa Wilder. I co-facilitate the RHH Virtual Mastery program with Marie.

I just had to jump in here to clarify….

You certainly can’t control others which is why it’s important in an instance like this to look at what it is you REALLY want and to recognize that getting too specific about how you expect it to show up, far from helping you, will only get in your way.

If you want a specific guy to be interested in you…the T exercise probably isn’t going to work. But ask yourself what it is that you REALLY want.

Is it to have an amazing relationship with a man you’re wild about and who is wild about you? Now that’s something you can use the T exercise for…with the understanding that you need to be open to the possibility that your dream man may show up looking very different than you’d thought.

In my experience, it’s always best to be very open to whatever you want showing up in a completely unexpected way because it often does. ;)

Using Marie’s example of wanting 10,000….all of her examples of possible ways to attain it are excellent, but don’t overlook the possibility that if, for example, you want the money for a down on a house…that what might show up is an opportunity to buy with no money down.

Going deeper and really exploring what it is that you really want, opens up additional avenues for it to show up.

Warmly,
Lisa
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Lisa Wilder

Hi Lyn,

My name is Lisa Wilder. I co-facilitate the RHH Virtual Mastery program with Marie.

I just couldn’t resist jumping in here in to share a story about my mother.

She too wanted to retire from her job and wanted to work part-time from home on her own editing business and like you, she was afraid of what that might mean for her financially. She couldn’t quite see how she’d replace the income.

She finally decided (the decision comes first ;) to make the leap anyway and not a week later…she got a letter in the mail from a company she’d worked for years earlier, letting her know that she was due to begin receiving a monthly pension from them.

She had NO clue that she was eligible to receive a pension from the company prior to receiving the letter and she actually wound up making MORE than she’d made at the job she quit.

Sometimes we just have to go for it. One of the keys to success in any endeavor is learning to fail with enthusiasm. And understanding that there really is no such thing as failure…only lessons in how not to do something that give us clues to how to do it right. ;)
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Lisa Wilder

Hey Nora,

Marie is out of town for the next few days, so I thought I’d jump in here.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with working a job to fund your biz if that’s what you need to do right now.

You said “you think” you need it….well do you or don’t you? ;)

Take a good look at your income and expenses and really evaluate whether or not you need that income. If you do…then great…keep at it while exploring new possibilities for increasing the biz revenue so you can let the part-time job go.

If you discover you don’t really need the income…then it may simply be a matter of taking the leap despite the fear.

Warmly,
Lisa
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Lisa Wilder

Hi Amber,

It’s natural to go through cycles. All of nature does and we’re no exception.

When you find yourself in a bit of a lull after a period of intense creativity or activity it may simply be that you need a bit of time to rejuvenate your energy. This can be a great time to play with ideas and possibilities. To ponder what it is that you want next without pressuring yourself to get into action this second.

On the flip side, if you’ve already identified what you want to go after next and are just having a hard time motivating yourself I’d encourage you to find a great support network. Being part of a group who gets you and is on a similar track gives you others to share your excitement with and to help keep your passion and inspiration high.

It’s all too easy to let the excitement wane, when you don’t have someone to share it with. And having others around to deliver a loving kick in the ass never hurts either. LOL….
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Lisa Wilder

Hey Monica…what almost worked? :)
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Lisa Wilder

Hi Roxana,

It sounds as though your mind is telling you that you “should” have seen results by now. Thoughts like that will most definitely create frustration, because they’re in complete opposition to the reality of the situation…that you haven’t yet seen the ultimate result you’re striving for.

Practice becoming aware of when your mind is full of those frustration-inducing thoughts and bring your attention back to THIS moment and the positive pro-active steps you can take toward your goal.

No one said it would be easy. :) But if you persevere, and keep taking whatever pro-active steps you can think to take…you WILL see results.
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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marie

You are so welcome Rebecca and what an amazing story. I’m so thrilled you are modeling this for your kids!

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marie

thank YOU Kelly :)

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marie

Hey Molly! YAY for Katie and thank you so much for your comment and CONGRATS on your new business partner :) So glad to have you here!

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Lisa Wilder

Oh, Marianne! Thanks so much for sharing the link to Steve’s video! Absolutely priceless, brilliant, and hysterical.
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Jess

Matt – I got really excited when I read the last part of your post about the coaching you want to do with young adults. It is soooo great to see people like you with a passion to help young people pursue their own dreams. Too often I see people going into a career or following a path just because the people around them want it or expect it. So kudos to you and I wish you ALL the best in your venture! :)

Jess
.-= Jess´s last blog ..are you living someone else’s life? =-.

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Lisa Wilder

Oooo…you go, girl! So what’s next?! ;)
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Amber McCue

Melody – You rock!!! Love yours and your client’s success stories.
.-= Amber McCue´s last blog ..Celebrate!!! I Made A Decision. And Allll Sorts of Goodness Has Followed! =-.

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Lisa Wilder

Hey Justyna!

For more juicy content before the first Virtual Mastery call next week, dive into all the bonus content. That ought to keep you busy for a bit. ;)

xo
L
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Lisa Wilder

Excellent points, Katharina! Thanks so much for taking the time to share them.
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

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Lisa Wilder

Thank YOU, Mark!

I took a peek at your blog, Mark…and it looks like we’re spreading a very similar message. The more the merrier… ;)
.-= Lisa Wilder´s last blog ..Mind Games =-.

Reply

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