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Women Entrepreneurs: Are You Trying Too Hard?

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We’re just about to head to our beach house in Sag Harbor, New York.

I sooo love being there.

We’re completely surrounded by nature and have tons of windows so the house is flooded in natural light.  Generally speaking, it’s really, really quiet.

Unlike our house in the city, we leave the windows and doors open as much as we can.  And when we do, at least one fly manages to find its way inside.

Then it happens.

Bzzz. Thump. Bzzz. Bzzzzz.  Thump. Bzzzzz.  Bzzzzzzzzz. Thump.  Thump.

The only sound heard is the frantic and desperate fly slamming itself into a skylight pane  . . . again and again and again.

Because the skylight looks like the most direct route to freedom, the fly works harder and harder, repeatedly slamming into the glass.

Bzzz. Thump.  Bzzzz. Thump.

It’s really wild to watch.  Blind determination.

The problem is the fly’s entire success strategy is based on an erroneous notion: “More effort = more success.  If I just keep trying harder, I’ll make it through to where I want to go.”

After a few minutes of frenetic crashes, the life force within this little bug-eyed creature begins to fade away until death seems like the only option.

Saddest part of the story?

Back at the reality ranch, less than 20 feet away, a sliding door is wide freaking open.

With hardly any effort at all, just a slight change in approach, that little fly would have all the freedom he wants.

He’d be back in nature, soaring in the blue sky and doing whatever it is that flies do in the Hamptons.

Unfortunately, more times than not, the earnest little fly winds up dead and dusty on my hardwood floor.

His stubborn “try harder approach” leads him straight to his grave while the solution was there all along.

Every time I find another dead and dusty fly in our home, it’s a sobering reminder that when things in my business aren’t working quite the way I want, more of the same won’t help.

Trying harder does not guarantee success and often, it’s the thing that kills it.

This is especially important if you’ve been raised in a blue collar culture with a very strong work ethic.

Meaning?

You’ve been conditioned to believe that tireless effort and struggle are the only ways to succeed.

And often, when success arrives fast and dare I say easy, you almost feel guilty about it.

I’ve found women entrepreneurs, in particular, are prone to the try harder struggle and we need to collectively support each other in giving that up for a more sustainable approach.

So let’s learn from our dead and dusty friends, shall we?

There’s often a faster, easier and more elegant solution available right now if you’re willing to take a different approach.

If you’re struggling, more of the same will only get you more of the same.

Outrageous success in business comes from thinking different; being different;  from being unwilling to settle for the status quo;  from innovation;  from going in a different direction.

The solutions are often right here.

But accessing them requires leaving our comfort zone and looking at things from a fresh perspective.

So remember, if you’re slamming yourself against the proverbial skylight trying to get what you want, look around.

You’ll likely see that off to the side, in an unexpected place, the door is wide open.

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Thoughts on this?  Do you have an experience of taking the “open door” instead of the “try harder” approach?  Leave a comment and let me know.


Marie Forleo

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Lori Latimer

Marie: As usual, you are right on point. Not only do we have to get out of our comfort zones, but OUT OF OUR HEADS… and into our hearts and intuition. That’s usually where the solution is found. Unfortunately we are so accustomed – and programmed – to overthink everything, when it would be so much simpler to listen to our intuition and just go with that!

Now have fun in the Hamptons, and big hugs to both you and Josh for helping to push me out of my comfort zone :)

xoxo

Lori

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marie

thank you SO much for your comment Lori and you are welcome! We’re driving in a few hours but I do plan to have fun :) xo

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Leigh Caraccioli

Loved this Marie! And in my busiest season of my fledgling photography business I needed to read this. I’m the girl working my buttocks off hitting the skylight seeking financial freedom. Thanks for this insightful post which reminds me to take time to fly purposefully…through the open door.

leigh
@fleurdeleigh

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marie

Thank you Leigh! I’m super committed to helping us all reach new levels of wealth in 2010 and beyond. Very exciting stuff and honored to have you here for the journey. ;)

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Anna

I know that this article is about business and such…but I feel like in my life I’m playing a role of a stubborn fly when it comes to romantic relationships…
Even when my gut is yelling at me and everything just doesn’t seem to be working out, I keep thinking: “If I just keep trying harder, I’ll make it through to where I want to go.”
I keep getting the same exact lesson over and over again, and even though I know deep inside that my only way out is to stop beating my head on that window and go find that door…that window seems to be much safer and closer. Here it is, I can see the light through it! At the same time I don’t know where that door is, and whether it really exists, and if it does, is it really wide open?
Sometimes that window is a part of a comfort zone and leaving it means taking a huge risk.
Right now is a turning point in my life…will I chose to stay by the safety of that window and hope to finally break through it, which might mean ending up dead, just like that fly on the floor… or will I chose to leave the safety and fly away to find the possibility of an open door not knowing for sure if that door even exists or is it just a part of my imagination??
well, I guess we shall see…

thank you for this incredible article, Marie!

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marie

Hey Anna! Thank you for the comment. While I framed the article through a business lens, the concept certainly applies to any aspect of life – especially relationships. Here’s a quote by Erica Jong I think you’ll like: “The trouble is if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”

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Tracy

Hi Anna & Marie,

Anna has totally and beautifully described my circumstance also, so clearly .. thanks Anna as this has opened my eyes, and thanks Marie for the article.. you also as always have helped a GREAT DEAL!! :)
.-= Tracy´s last blog ..By: Laura =-.

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Shirley

Anna, I totally agree with you that marie’s great article applies to romantic relationships too! I just had my aha this morning, I’m finally in relationship with an emotionally available man…. and it’s like “Wha?????!! you mean he just loves me as me…. and I don’t have to run and chase and work hard to “get” him to love me??!!” OMG. yes, it can be easy…. should I choose to take this route. but this ‘easy’ route somehow feels so unfamiliar and weird. but I will begin to shift to receive and allow this new and EASY way of being loved. and I will DEFINITELY be thinking of this fly analogy for my business. Thanks so much for sharing Anna. I’m glad I’m not the only one to see this or live this.

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Erica

Hi Marie-y!
Lovely to hear your birthday was fab!! I miss you. AND I like your article very much. It is interesting because the other day I was semi-complaining (ok just complaining) to my boss’s boss’s boss that there was too much going on and not enough time to do it all. Do you know what he said? He said “first of all, you need to climb out of the current.” And that has stuck with me all week. And I love your article because it is saying a similar thing.
xoxoxo
Erica

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marie

Heeey Erica!!! I miss you too – I need to come out to LA to see you, I’m having withdrawal ;) LOVE the “climb out of the current.” xoxo M

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Leanne Regalla

You’re right, Marie. Love this! :)

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marie

Thanks Leanne! You’ll never see a dead fly again in the same light :)

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Maria Calanchini

Hey Marie

Thanks, I so needed to hear this today, it hit the spot. Happy Hamptons time….

lots of love, Maria

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marie

You are so welcome Maria :) Miss you woman! ox M

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Chiarina Loggia

Lovely post, Marie. It certainly applies to all aspects of our lives, Anna. Amazing how confortable we can get with discomfort, just like those stubborn and short sighted flies.
Here’s to living life stepping through open doors!

Chiarina
.-= Chiarina Loggia´s last blog ..More Than A Portrait – Or how one photo shoot spawned an ‘out of comfort zone’ stampede. =-.

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marie

thank you so much Chiarina! :)

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Donna Vail

Marie~Thank you for your most insightful article. Read it, learned it but still trying so hard to bust out of this blue collar condition. Looking forward to learning more ways to dump this condition and fly free! Thank you for your commitment to help us all be rich, happy and hot!! Enjoy your time…for you and with your loved ones. <3 Donna

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marie

Thank you Donna. What’s always helped me is continuing to educate myself (especially with people who have expertise in areas I don’t! :) I’ll do my best to keep sharing everything I learn!

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Ann

Hi Marie,

What a striking image of this principle! I love your description of this. It’s very powerful. Now I think the next time I am getting all frazzled and frenetic working too hard, I will have no choice but to remember that fly! And I have definitely found what you are saying here to be the case. So often there is a solution or another option or an opening somewhere right there for me, and I just have to be willing to open my mind and heart to it. I’ve found that meditation and journaling help me stay centered and open enough to be more aware of these situations, and also to be less prone to mindlessly putting my head down and plodding along.

Thanks for examining this issue. It’s a crucial one! And enjoy Sag Harbor. I’ll be there with my sister Kate, who met you and Josh this summer on the beach, for Christmas.

Blessings,
Ann

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marie

Hey Ann! thank you so much for your comment! GREAT on Sag!! Let’s coordinate w/your sis, we’ll DEFINITELY see you guys over Xmas ;)

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amelia alvarez

Hi Marie,
Btw, Happy Birthday!!!!!! Belated:)

So, I think this is a GREAT article because too often we get caught up in how other people have achieved success and trying to duplicate their path or trying to do things “the right way.”

This year, i stopped defining myself as just as actor and also started working as a Stylist and writing a screenplay. Now I have more money and feel so much less blocked creatively and have been having great auditions and callbacks. There is not one path to success, follow your passion…all of them.

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marie

Thank you Amelia!! CONGRATS on releasing the labels and for growing your wealth. That is one of the most important “themes” I’m going to focus on teaching (mo money!) for 2010. xo M

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Elizabeth Potts Weinstein

For me this was about getting out of masculine energy & getting into the feminine, intuitive energy. As long as I was “trying” and “forcing” it did not happen. When I started living in a more intuitive, receptive place, “letting” things happen, the magic started.

(also, that is my natural state … but since logic/hardwork was rewarded so much in my life, I lost that state of being)

Elizabeth
.-= Elizabeth Potts Weinstein´s last blog ..Ramifications of a Transparent Life =-.

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marie

Hey Eliz! Thank you for that reminder. Being a “driven” gal myself it’s so important to flex my receptive muscle :) Hope Grace is doing great – sending huge hugs and healing prayers.

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Edry

Hi Marie
This is the first time i think about a fly.
but you are right. we are stock in the same place doing the same all the time thinking that we are the only ones that have the truth.
Wise women :)
BIG HUG

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marie

Thank you Edry!! ;)

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Gena

Hey, Marie!

My girlfriend, Mindi, has been bragging about you and your website…She insisted that I check it out and just this one blog has convinced me as to why. I plan to be a “Ma-Repeat” from now on! If that makes any sense. haha.

Thanks for keeping it real, happy belated birthday and enjoy your trip!

~Gena

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marie

LOL – I TOTALLY got that Mar-repeat. I had to say it outloud. Smart cookie you :) Thanks for you comment and big thanks to Mindi for sharing the love.

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justyna

Great story. But it’s easier said then done. Unfortunatley the law of attraction doesn’t understand dead lines or credit card debt.

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marie

Hey Justyna. LOA is not my area of expertise. I’ve seen great benefit from the Live In the Moment Training (that’s why we’ve got our Live In the Moment Booty Camp and Beyond the Basics programs). Those internal philosophy shifts helped me tremendously when I first got started and many of my friends in business have found them extremely helpful as well!

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Nedra Hooks

I kept trying to go to college (to get at least my associate then work up to my Ph.D In Biochemistry & Historical Linguistics) while being a single mom and working. I became so frustrated at having to get up and drop my son off at daycare between 6-7am. Then go to college for hours and then go to work. I would get off at 10pm, pick up my son and go home and fix dinner. Then repeat then schedule almost every day. I experienced Burn OUt. But my spirit remained on starting my non-profit and God was like it’s time to take action. As soon as I left my job (because of harassment from other women (that’s sad on their part) and lack of hours) and still kept trying to go to school, I couldn’t get assistance with my childcare. I had this idea that if I just tried to get another job to bring in some money for my business this would help. But I couldn’t get hired because it was time to make the decision focus on me and my business.

As soon as I made the decision, I started seeking to get in alignment with God and lo and behold my first mentor appeared (who was just my stepping stone). This is how I got my free e-book of Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I have since then been led to great mentors who are great powerful women. One of the most important things that I have been taught is that the more you grow spiritually and in your personal life, the more your business grows. I have never been a conformist and don’t mind doing things outside the box. This means going outside the box we might have created for ourselves as well . I have always wanted to be & knew I was going to be an Entrepreneur. Everything God has spoken to me from the time I was a child is now being manifested in my life. It’s a great feeling

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marie

Congratulations Nedra! And yes – I love what you wrote about going outside the box we create for ourselves :)

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Jennifer Powter

LOVE this post! Feel like I’ve been that fly lately. My challenge seems to be trusting myself enough to BE different and veer “off” course a little bit and yet somewhat intuitively know that “off” course is actually the better direction for me.

Thanks.
Jen

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marie

I so hear you Jennifer and THANK YOU for your comment. We usually see the wisdom of veering “off” course in retrospect – yet during the process it can be quite scary. Keep going woman!

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Ana Bloom

Hi Marie,

What amazing synergy – I loved your post today about “trying too hard” – it’s incredible how doggedly trying w/o results I’ve been & now – wowsa, what if I stop TRYING so hard – it’ll be interesting to see what’s happening.

I’ve got proof that you’re right & it just dawned on me now: I used to keep banging my head against the wall with one horse riding trainer doggedly going back for mediocre lessons thinking “if I’d only TRY harder” when, at the end of the day, when I found another instructor, I actually LEARNED while having fun w/far less effort (just the transportation time to 1st place was 4 hours rt).

Thank you so much for posting & sharing such a marvelous article – it was just what the doctor ordered for me today :).

Hats off to Marie!!
Ana Bloom
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

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marie

You are so welcome and great story on your trainer! ;)

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Sarah Shaw

As usual, you paint a very vivid image that anyone can see. I have used the open door a few times this week and landed 3 new coaching clients for my 10 week special I running.

Have a great weekend,
Sarah
.-= Sarah Shaw´s last blog ..What’s the difference between a merchant account and payment gateway =-.

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marie

Woo-hoo on 3 new clients Sarah! That is FANTASTIC ;) Have a great weekend too xo

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Anne Renaud

Hi Marie,
I’m compelled to write in response to this one. Great story, great analogy. When I was 8 years old, my father tried to persuade me that my dream of becoming a professional artist wasn’t a realistic one. He said Anne, there’s too much competiton. To which I replied: but Dad, when you’re the best, there IS no competiton.
Today, at 48, I’m one of the best in my trade. And that happened because when I saw a door that was shut (always being the defiant little girl I was back then), I started looking for all the other exits, the novel approach, the untrodden path. When I get dusty, it’s because I’ve been working hard in shipyards, enjoying every minute of the freedom I gained when I flew out UNDER all those doors. Part of my job is to attend seriously to my tasks of skills development, industry knowledge, and networking. Look carefully, believe in what you have to offer. Being the best is not out of reach, and there are exits to freedom everywhere.

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marie

Wow Anne. I LOVE hearing that you are one of the best in your trade and I love your story. Thank you sooo very much for sharing!

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Joan

Once, I was just like that fly. I thought if I just do this and this and this as well at work, I’ll be a good enough performer and get my bonus and recognition and rewards etc. etc. For a while, I thought I was a fantastic fly, I flew around the place into a frenzy, abandoned my hobbies, my fitness and very quickly I was all consumed with my job and it was just a job, nothing special at all. Foolishly thinking I was going to be happy as a trapped fly in this lifestyle, I triggered and brought on lots of ill health in my time in a job I really disliked and a career I wanted to run screaming from so naturally the cracks started to show. Gradually, I did not want to peform at my best anymore and I rebelled a bit but thankfully my manager being a clever woman knew that I had enough so I was offered redundancy on a plate – this fly with the back problems, racing heart beat when stressed could finally find the door and fly away very rapidly. I did try to leave my job when the job market was great but I had one set back which put me off so I stayed in my comfort zone. I learned a great lesson in that I should have looked for my way out of that horrible situation alot sooner instead of thinking that I just had to be like many of the other trapped flies and keep on banging up against those same paned office windows. Today, I am just out of that job and really looking forward to being a mature student in January 2010 – bring it on ;-) Now that I have my life back again, I discovered Marie your website recently after buying your book. Loved it by the way and I think it was riddled with so many truths. Thanks for sharing your empowering stuff.
Joan.

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marie

Thank YOU Joan and I’m super excited for your 2010 ;) Keep us posted!

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Gena

Okay, already Marie-peating! (however we should spell it!) hee,hee.
How do I get my pic in the little corner box?! I’d like to say my brain called in sick today but don’t know if that will suffice. Maybe my problem is that I’m thinking “inside the box” too much. haha!

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marie
Lisa Hines

I was just pondering this last night. Well, moreso about the sub-conscious “family agreements” we all make. All families have some form of negative agreement that transpires. It could be, let’s all be quiet about Dad’s drinking problems so that we can appear normal. Another example I thought of was many families have this underlying, unspoken agreement to work hard, stay status quo, and don’t be too different or brilliant. The agreement here is that the family will all stay together and be the same if they all stay stagnant. It’s time to break those kinds of contracts by seeing the falsity in the “story.” Giving oneself a new “story” which allows us to be different, step into our greatness, and be brilliant, at whatever risks are out there.
.-= Lisa Hines´s last blog ..Angel Wisdom =-.

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marie

Hi Lisa. Great points – thank you for your comment!

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Anthony Caruso

Marie-

Great insight. I always find if I open to look at things a new way, the world opens up (like have you as a coach for example!). What is amazing is that there are so many people who will be willing to point you to that open door if you open up and let them in your life!

Hope all is well!

Anthony

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marie

Hey Anthony! Thank you so much for the comment and great to hear from you. And yes, all is very well ;)

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Maryellen Smith

Hello Marie,

I genuinely appreciate the fact that you mention the mores of coming from a blue collar background. I’m not sure that I’ve heard anyone talk about that “sensibility” in terms of the way it shapes you as a person and your concept of work. However, I do understand how that mindset can permeate underlying thoughts in regard to the kind of work we “should” be doing.

When I got laid off my last job I left my comfort zone and started my own company. I’m having the time of my life learning to express myself authentically. I saw my cousin recently and was telling her about my previous job experience in Health IT. She asked me why I didn’t apply for a job at a hospital. I was nice about it, but all I could think was: But then I’d work in a hospital! How “not” fun is that?

Thanks for writing such a thought provoking and compelling post!

Bye for now…
Maryellen

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marie

Hey Maryellen! Congrats on launching your own company and thank YOU for your comment. I truly appreciate my blue collar upbringing (great work ethic!) AND it’s fantastic to look outside at other possibilities as well.

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Monika

Wow. How flippin true! Recently, I even met someone with whom things just gel’d. A part of me thought, this is too fast–I should be “here”–I’ve got to make sense of this. Or even with a new job that is AMAZING with it’s scheduling and now the opportunities it allows me due to scheduling and compensation…it’s beyond words. It’s like the life I’ve always wanted is streaking through my life and (thank God) I find myself less and less embarrassed or guilty. Instead I can smile (more) and think to myself, “Yes, there goes my bad a#$ life again.” You’re amazing Marie. Cheers.

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marie

That is AWESOME Monika – got chills reading this ;) Rock on woman!

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Laura

Hi Marie!
First of all, I’m going to postulate that the flies are so happy in your lovely Sag Harbor cottage, they say “I can die now.” They’ve had enough of the Hamptons party scene and don’t like the hedge fund managers beyond your screen door.

BUT: as for your metaphor and message, agree 100%. Every time I feel stuck in my career, the answer doesn’t come until I do something new. Sign up for a class, find a new client, *start a blog* (thanks for the suggestion), attend a lecture…something.

Same deal with writing. In fact, this post is like a broader version of the last one. When I’m creatively stuck, the answer is always to go do something else. Or change my location and take my computer somewhere else. Or – this is a little off the wall – write with pen and paper. About something else.

The answer always comes from a side door.

Thanks for the reminder! Let me know when the fly funeral is. I’d like to give a eulogy.

xo
.-= Laura´s last blog ..Sorry I’m tardy for the party. =-.

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marie

Ha! I’ll gather them all up so next time you visit we can have a proper send off ;)

xoxo M

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Melody

Love analogies!!! This is the best one I’ve heard in quiet a while. Poor fly. I’ve recently tried to take the “simple, easy” approach and you are right about feeling guilty…like I need to offer more. Thanks for reminding me that I may feel uncomfortable providing a service with a simpler approach, but my clients are getting so, so, so much more because I am truly there in mind, body, and heart!
.-= Melody´s last blog ..Client Success Stories =-.

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marie

Thank you Melody. Wild about the guilt of “ease” right? Congrats on simplifying and delivering more!

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Catherine Collins

I LOOOVE THIS!!!Can totally relate and everything you wrote (per usual:) is spot. on! I come from a WASPY (for reals:) family/community that espouses working harder=more success. If you’re not seeing the results you want the solution is work harder. Making money is hard, jobs require huge sacrifices, etc. I followed that “mode” tirelessly for years but never really saw any results. I feel like I’m on the cusp of just starting to be successful and feel really happy, and I LARGELY attribute it stepping outside of my comfort zone, trusting that maybe life CAN be this good, and work can be fun! I just booked my first voice over job (on my first voice over audition eva:), and I had a moment of feeling like, WHAT? They want to actually PAY me this much money to stand in a sound booth for a few hours talking in different accents? Something I do at home (alone:) anyway? CRAZY! Thank you for ALL that you do and being a living example that you CAN have it all and life can actually be THIS much fun:) xxxoo

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Kathy Werhan

Hi, Catherine….I love your story and I can totally relate to it! I actually gasped to myself when I read it because I am in the process of changing careers by examining my long held beliefs about life and purpose..some that never felt quite right but I accepted anyway…I am writing about this to help others…one of the things I would also love to do..mainly in the meantime.. is voiceovers..I have been told time and time again that I have a perfect voice for radio actually..but I have no idea how to reach out and audition…can you help? How did you find the audition? I would be so grateful if you could shed some light…Thanks!!!

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Angela Minelli

I want to find my wide open door :)

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marie

Hey Angela – the first step in finding the open door is being willing to look around :) You’re on the right track!

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Eileen

Hi Marie,
I too saw this in a manner of personal relationship as well. In a turning point and afraid to head for the door. Was just asking myself this morning….why do I keep beating my head against the wall with this. It’s painfully obvious what I need to do….but I just keep thinking if I just do more, be more it will all work out.
Needed to hear it in another perspective again.

Thank you !
Eileen

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cathy

As a graphic designer I always looked for the open door. Deadlines were always tight, if a design was a struggle to make work and make sense, I quickly looked for another option. Usually finding 3 or 4 to refine rather quickly and very successfully. It took me way to long to learn to apply that same principle to everything else I did or wanted. But once I realized that I could approach every challenge the same way, the opportunities were amazing.

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Gena

Your article is smart and extremely well-written however I’m stumped as to how to apply it to my current contemplation. Maybe you can help..? I made the decision to leave a financially rewarding corporate career, that I didn’t love, to stay home with our two children and to finally pursue my own business. However, with the economic downturn, it is imperative that I go back to the “golden handcuffs” of a W2 job in order to get us out of a downward spiral. Well, a possible opportunity (door??) has just opened up for me to go back to a corporate position but as much as I need to and will do for my family, I don’t want to give up my dreams. So I feel that I was the “earnest little fly” that finally flew “out the door”, to my freedom, but am now in a situation to do what I desperately don’t want to do. It wouldn’t be so bad if I were the kind of person who could juggle the career, continue my business and be the mom that I need to be but I am that type of person who has to put my all into something in order for it to be great. This position would involve intense training and tons of hours but it’s the only type of position that pays what we need. So, does entrepreneurship go to the back burner by taking the open door or is it REALLY an open door?

Sincerely,
The Fly (who’s about to bite the poisen apple)

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marie

Hey Gena! Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. And if bringing $$ into your family is what you need to do, do it. What really needs to shift is your thinking around what’s possible. I had 4 jobs when I first started my biz and worked on it when I could and eventually – built it to be full time. I know LOTS of people (and moms) who’ve done the same! I would let go of putting it on the ‘back burner’ and instead open your mind to creative ways to bring that entrepreneurial spirit to your job, your life AND your business when you work on it!

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Britt

Marie, you are so good! I LOVE the analogy of the fly here! It is so perfect! I’m just taking a break myself in many aspects of my life- so I can wait to feel the breeze that will direct me to that wide open sliding door! For me, it is about stopping the madness to breath it all in and I am pretty confident that the answers will find their way to me. I’m listening universe!

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Tonya Leigh

OMG…I have SO been that fly that keeps trying to escape through the skylight. It is SO good to know, though, that the door is WIDE open. I have sensed that recently as things begin to flow. But, I had to stop doing the same damn things over and over. AMAZING, how that works!

Thanks for this post.
.-= Tonya Leigh´s last blog ..The 3 Voices of Weight =-.

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Lisa Rothstein

HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY MARIE!!

Love your metaphor, and your writing. Fabulous lesson that gave me a good idea why my head hurts so much.

I have many wide open doors, and probably an army of guardian angels shaking their heads sadly as I smush myself against the glass over and over.

A huge “DUH” and thank you!!

xo
Lisa
.-= Lisa Rothstein´s last blog ..Can a person have too many talents? =-.

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marie

Thank you LISA!!! ;)

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Shinelle

Very refreshing advice marie, I too love your writing style.

Shinelle

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Lisa Marie

Wow, Marie, GOOD stuff. How many characters do I have to repsond?… I think I could fill them all!

My whole career has been based as a writer/editor. And no matter how many times I have tried to escape my writerly role, someone would ask me to write something for them or their site or their newsletter or what have you, and I would be slamming my head on the glass all over again. So what if I feel like I’ve been writing since age 6? Maybe it’s what I was born to do!

I started a business last June, first as a way to escape writing. But of course, in a business, YES, you write the product descriptions & the blog & the tweets & the press releases and you realize there’s no escaping the written word, try as you might. In fact, being a writer actually comes in handy. So I decided to stop trying to run from it and just enjoy it. I still have plenty of freelance clients, too. As much as I enjoy my own gig, I also still very much enjoy helping them with theirs. When someone says “Thank you so much–I could not have written this myself!” I remember that while we choose what we want to do, we were born with things within us we cannot and should not deny.

Thank you for your well-written blog! : ) Your voice and style are one of a kind.

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Lisa Marie

ps: One other thought on the poor fly… Sometimes as women entrepreneurs, we can feel quite alone in our goals. We try harder because we are the voice in our own head that says: KEEP TRYING! Just like the fly. There have been times someone has come along for me and said, “Psst! Over here… There’s a door wide open…” It is wonderful to have that happen. And it’s wonderful to be able to do the same for another fly who’s been beating her head on the glass for far too long. Stick together and find that door…

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marie

Thank you so much for these comments Lisa Marie! I absolutely love what you wrote and yes – we can feel alone in our goals. All the more reason to have an awesome community around you! So great to have you here :)

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Ana Alcobia

Another great article Marie.
Reflection on the glass makes it look SO much like an open door, we assume the problem is ‘us’. To make it worse we often mistake ‘changing direction’ with ‘giving up’. One solution that has worked for me is to get sunglasses, in the form of a coach or training, to eliminate the reflection.

PS I open the window to let insects go that way, can’t stand to watch, especially when it’s a butterfly.
.-= Ana Alcobia´s last blog ..anaalcobia: Had a great chat with @martinaotb about life as an entrepreneur. We did brainstorming for new programs and have JV’s coming up soon :) =-.

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marie

thank you so much Ana! And YES I let them go too. I also try to swoosh out the one’s in the skylights – doesn’t always work. :)

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Linda Eaves

Spot on. And I’ve with Belgray on the happy fly theory. I had a similar experience with a dragonfly in my new house. Buzz and thump. He was gorgeous too. So I caught him in a peanut butter jar and set him free. Hmm….possible life coach analogy? Marie – you are my peanut butter jar leading me to my fullest potential!

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marie

Awww -thanks Linda :)

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justyna

Thank you Marie for your reply. I truly appreciate the support. When I wrote I was somewhat feeling sorry for myself. Now I have it out of my system. I have a different approach. I’m back baby…

I think you are partly right. I have a different take. In Lisa Steadmen’s class she told me about the 90/10 approach when it comes in relationships. You really like 90% of the things about your significant other and the other 10 % you have to learn to cope with. Unless that 10% is so unbearable it overides the 90% then it’s time to call it quits with that person.

I think you can apply that to your work principle. I think it’s a good idea that for 90% to apply the feminie, intuitive, and feeling approach to work. We are women after all. It comes so naturally to us. Then of course there is that 10% of the time when intuition, feeling and the law of attraction hits a brick wall. No matter what you do none of that really works. That’s when it’s best to use the 10% of the masculine approach to business when it time to dig and work like it’s going out of style.

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Nicole

A college friend of mine, Monika, passed this link on to me to share the 2010 resolution inspiration video. I also happen to be a small business owner sitting at a coffee shop reading a book about making my business work better for me. Loved this article, so timely with what I’m experiencing, and further loved the comments -the openness and insight of the other readers. Thanks, Mo, and thanks all you other lovely, smart, perfect-as-you-are women. I’m excited to read, grow, share with you all. :)
Nicole

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marie

Hey Nicole! I’m so happy Monika passed along the link :) I took a look at your biz and it looks sooooo scrumptious! So happy to have you here and thrilled to support you in making your business work better for you!

Happy New Year!

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Olivia

It is so good to read your articles! Lately I have been stuck in a rut, coming straight out of law school and not knowing how to find my purpose, and you and all of these other great women are such an inspiration. Thank you for bringing your gumption and positive energy to us girls all over the world! I live in a blue collar culture where nobody wants to take any risks or take a chance, but I have always felt like I was meant to do just that – through your articles and thoughts and ideas, I feel like I am slowly on my way to finding what it is I should be doing :)
Thanks Marie for being so fabulous and connecting so many other amazing women with each other!
with love from cold Amsterdam, Olivia

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Tatyana Gann

Hi Marie

I needed to hear that story. I believe we often like flies.. Work harder. I have been working on my new website till late at night. Trying hard and only waking up with need for big pot of coffee. Thank you for making it so easy to undersand. We often need to see nature. In Bible it says Look at birds in the sky and lilies in the valley they grow at ease because God can take of it. Of course it does mean we sit and do nothing but I think as woman I always wanted to complicate things and make simple things harder me thinking it will be be more challenging. Great post. You admired me to write about success. It is about doing simple things, ordinary things, take it the way they are and move forward and see freedom around us. Thank you Marie., you are awesome. I wll be sharing that on Twitter.

Hugs

Tatyna

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Dr. Mary Ozegovich

Just listened to your interview on Money Masters with Anthony Robbins. Thanks for sharing and caring. Thanks for helping so many woman in so many ways.

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Nancy

I’ve definitely been the fly repeatedly hitting against the skylight. I tried for years to find the right words to get members of our historical group (staffed entirely by volunteers) to help with the work load. We were down to being a one-man show (me)…I’d work a full-time job, then volunteer another 40-50 hours a week for the organization. Bzzz. Thump. Bzzzz. Thump.

It was hard to admit, but I had become the problem. Everyone knew that if they didn’t come in to help, then I’d pick up the rest of the work load to make sure it got done. Oh yeah, just call me little Miss Co-Dependent. Bzzz. Thump. Bzzzz. Thump.

I gave notice that I would no longer serve as president after 2011. I offered to be treasurer and do those nasty annual budget reports for the state – surely those =must= be the magic words to get the other officers, directors, and/or members to pull their weight. After all they elected one person as treasurer year, after year, after agonizing year, even though they knew she never once wrote a check, balanced a check book, or prepared a treasurer’s report. Nope, those weren’t the magic words, as everyone refused to run as president or vice-president. Bzzz. Thump. Bzzzz. Thump.

It was a cold night in January that the board members met. It was as cold in that room as it was outside, when I looked the directors and told them they had two options – we could dissolve the organization, or they could resign…not some of them, but all of them…and let me find new board members who were willing to commit to making us a sustainable organization. I kinda miss that skylight…not.

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linkedin

Just heard your meeting on Cash Experts with Anthony Robbins. Thanks for discussing and looking after. Thanks for assisting so many lady in so many ways. linkedin

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Curently

Logistically it takes time to swap out a technician to a new van and we do not want to overwhelm ourselves, although the sooner we switch the sooner we start saving. google

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