Personal Growth

How To Give Yourself A Self-Deception Reality Check

November 18, 2009

Hi! I'm Marie

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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This morning I spoke with a client who was feeling stalled in growing her online business.

She asked, “What’s stopping me from having success?”

I could tell she was looking for a deep, insightful, inner game type answer.

But that wasn’t what she got.  Here’s what I said next.

What consistent actions have you been taking to grow your online business?

Because I’ll bet what you say you want doesn’t match up with what you’re actually doing.

(Side note: This client came onboard because she wants to build a profitable, personality driven consulting and information business.)

Here’s the deal.  In order to grow a thriving brand online and sell products and services, you need to build your email list.

Your email list the end all, be all. They’re the people whom you love and nurture like they’re the most important people in the world.

Because to your online business, they are.

When I asked this gal what she was doing to grow and nurture her list she said, “I have a lot of people I talk to on Facebook.”

Me: “They’re not on your list. How many people are on your email list?”

Her: “50.”

Me: “How often are you mailing them awesome free content?”

Her: “Not enough,” she said. “Less than once a month.”

Bingo.

What this gal says she wants is not inline with her day to day actions.  I also sensed a bit of small list shame happening too.

Honestly?

50 people who care about what YOU have to say is an incredible honor and privilege.

And needs to be treated as such if you want any shot at growing those numbers.

FYI, every online big shot, at some point, starts with the same list size.  Zero.

So put that small list shame to bed now, k?

Here’s the deal: social media is cool, but building a high-quality email list of people you take care of by consistently delivering killer content (meaning content that educates and or entertains) is priority numero uno if you want to make money by selling products and services online.

Truth be told, this gal and I have had similar conversations before.

She’s aware of how important it is to build and nurture your email list.

As usual, it wasn’t a matter of knowledge, it was a matter of action.

Here’s the kicker.  She’s a smart, talented coach.  By not getting her business ass in gear, she’s stealing from potential clients who really need what she has to offer.

So how does this relate to you?  I’m hoping you’ll tell me.

If you feel stuck in building your business, it may be time for a self-deception reality check.

Get brutally honest as you answer this simple question.

Do your actions line up with what you say you want?

Do you say you want to make more money, yet you’re not taking concrete, strategic steps to make that happen?

Do you say you want to publish a book, yet you spend zero time writing it?

Do you say you want a life of entrepreneurial freedom, yet you’re not laying the groundwork to make it a reality?

If your actions don’t line up with what you say you want, you have two choices.

Either change what you say you want to accurately reflect your truth.  In other words, stop torturing yourself with a project or desire you’re not backing up with action.

Or

Get off your butt and get to work.  Nine times out of ten, this is the answer.

Make no mistake, it will take time and a lot of hustle to see results.

Don’t whine. Don’t feel sorry for yourself.  Don’t compare yourself to others.

And especially for us sensitive types…

Do not give yourself license to fart around in the “why-am-I-not-successful-yet” head trip.

Just keep truckin’.

Because the truth is that while you’re lost in the mind-fuck land of self-reproach, other people are cranking out content, building momentum, creating results and making money doing the very thing you want to do.

Of course, we all need to get whatever support or education we need to do our thing.

But if you’re 100% clear that you really, really want the thing you say you want: get to work and don’t stop till you get the goods.

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